Titus Andronicus’s The Monitor. At their worst, which is rarely, they’re Bon Jovi with teeth. At their best they’re The Replacements singing about (the) civil war. As someone who’s almost given up on guitar and punk bands, I need this more than I realized.
Recommended
March 12th, 2010New this week—3/7/10
March 11th, 2010Ludacris featuring Nicki Minaj—”My Chick Bad”
#46
Notable mainly for containing the first Tiger Woods joke to make the Hot 100. When Ludacris is doing his rapid fire spitting over something loud and boisterous, his tastelessness goes down fairly easy. When he slows himself down like this, his crudity—not just in his humor, but in his flow—shines through.
Taio Cruz featuring Ludacris—”Break Your Heart”
#53
Already a number one in the UK (and now in the US), and it’s easy to see why. The rough formula appears to be a mix of Akon and Chris Brown over a euro-techno beat, with the lilting tenor vocals that are so popular right now (i.e. B.O.B, Jay-Z-s “Forever Young”, anything by Drake). Ludacris adds nothing, but he doesn’t detract either. In commercial pop terms, it’s a classic. It’s sheer fluff (the music has nothing whatever to do with the lyrical message of the song), but it goes down easy, catchy enough to get your attention, short enough that you’ll want to hear it again once it does, and after a third listen it will be playing in your head forever. And when it does finally fade away, there’ll be something just like it to replace it with.
Kris Allen—”Let It Be”
#63
I suppose I could give Allen points for trying to make something new out of this warhorse, but removing the melody is not the way to go about it. I know everyone’s tired of hearing it, but there is something majestic, yet humble, about that tune, and without it the lyrics are close to meaningless. Not that anyone notices what “Let It Be” is about anymore, anyway. Why else would they use a song about peaceful resignation as a call to action?
Trey Songz—”Neighbors Know My Name”
#88
I tend to think of this as a follow-up to J. Holliday’s “Bed” or Jeremih’s “Birthday Sex”, but it’s more polished, and its humor is more intentional (I think) than those two. It’s also funnier—and sexier. If you never thought the day would come that you’d laugh at a soul singer crooning the word “headboard”, you were wrong.
Matisyahu—”One Day”
#90
Well-meaning pap, and limp well-meaning pap, at that. Produced by the same team who created B.O.B.’s “Nothin’ On You”, who turn on the bland this time around, and co-written by Akon, who’s trying to collect as many well-meaning karma points as he can before his next album comes out. But the real weakness is the singer, who has all the technical gifts and none of the force or spirit of the Jamaican dancehall singers he imitates so assiduously (Barrington Levy would eat this guy for breakfast). Though I hesitate to suggest it, this comes perilously close, in my mind, to minstrelsy.
Yo Gotti featuring Lil Wayne—”Women Lie, Men Lie”
#93
Another attempt to recreate that “A Milli” magic with an endlessly repeating, weird-sounding vocal hook. Almost works, too. But this is the only record I can think of where Lil Wayne simply disappears from memory once the track is over. The best joke is when Gotti starts exaggerating his list of possessions—he doesn’t sound that different from most other rappers. Of course, I always assume they’re lying, anyway; it’s hardly necessary to drive the point home.
Joe Nichols—”Gimmie That Girl”
#98
This is catchy enough and fiery enough near the end that it could almost be mistaken for some alt-country track from the early 80s. Once you hear that Moore likes his woman barefoot and in the kitchen, though, you’ll know you’re still in good-ol’ traditional Nashville (where the early 80s is about as far into alt-country as anyone cares to go). Thank the Lord for small favors: at least she’s not pregnant (yet).
Justin Moore—”Backwoods”
#100
Having covered the small town USA cliches on, er, “Small Town USA”, Moore heads out to the backwoods for another hootin’ hollerin’ mess o’ stuff you’ve already heard too many times before. I assume “I Love My Wife and Kids”, “Have I Told You About My Personal Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ (Who Doesn’t Mind If I Get Rowdy Once In a While)?”, and a cover of “America, Fuck Yeah!” are just around the corner.
Saddest headline of the day
March 11th, 201090%
March 10th, 2010A couple of days ago, Michaelangelo put up a note on his Tumblr blog, quoting a wonderfully pretentious line from the new Ted Leo and the Pharmacists album, The Brutalist Bricks. Sometimes I find myself in the mood for a good piece of pretentious nonsense, so I gave the album a spin on Rhapsody (yes, I know that’s an anachronism–sue me). It more than met any expectations Michael had created. It’s just about the funniest collection of late ’70s new wave cliches I’ve heard since, oh, the late ’70s. I was especially fond of the song that shifts from a Nick Lowe rip into an Elvis Costello rip and then back again. The Jam rip may be even better, since it not only lifts their music, but their overwrought political phrase slinging as well. All that’s missing is a cod reggae track. It’s all so intensely sincere. I haven’t laughed so hard at a record in months.
But then, tonight, I’m looking at The AV Club, and I see they’ve reviewed the album and given it a B+. Hmm. Fair enough, I think, but what kind of B+? An honorable B+, or a somewhat cynical, this gets a fairly high grade because it’s so wonderfully ridiculous B+? I was expecting the latter, but surprisingly, what I got was the former. The reviewer, who I’m not familiar with, considers it a good, if not great album. Even more surprising was the comments section. The AV Club has some the snootiest, most cynical commenters on the web, and in the case of this particular piece of flapdoodle I thought they would deliver their best. Instead I got oodles of Ted Leo love, including sincere comparisons to The Drive-By Truckers (huh?), Yo Lo Tengo (as if), and The Clash (oh, fuck you). I expected cynics, and found fanboys—fanboys who can’t tell the difference between Ted Leo and The Clash.
I’m not upset or surprised by this so much as confused. Actually, I’m not even confused, just stunned once again by further evidence that whoever it was that said 90% of everything is crap was referring to the audience, as well. 90% of the audience is crap. There. I’ve said it, and I’m glad.
(Oh, and critics, too. Don’t forget the critics.)
Happy B-Day, Ornette
March 10th, 2010“I was born in Fort Worth in 1930, and I knew about as much then as I do now. I don’t want to be smart and I don’t want to be dumb and I don’t want to be dead.”
–Ornette Coleman, in yesterday’s New York Times.
New this week—2/28/10
March 3rd, 2010Christopher Wilde
“Hero”, #57
“StarStruck” #77
“Something About the Sunshine” (with Anna Margaret), #81
Christopher Wilde, in case you’re not a connoiseur of the Disney Channel, is the name of the fictional teen heart-throb in Disney’s latest made-for-TV tweener extravaganza, StarStruck. The actor who does the singing here is Sterling Knight, who the folks at Disney are no doubt hoping will become a real heart-throb. As Disney soundtracks go, these three songs are above average, less cutesy than the Hannah Montana or High School Musical numbers, without all the cloying lyrical uplift. They’re also more mature. “StarStruck” includes a line about girls who want to take Christopher out on a date and make him holler, which in the Disney universe is as close as you can get to an NC-17 rating. Disney is obviously beginning to realize that the audience for its teen fantasies is older than it was when High School Musical debuted four years ago. Those tweeners are into their mid- to late-teens now, and they want a little romance, and even a suggestion of sex, with their song and dance. But even though these are more adult than the standard Disney fare, they’re also not up to the best of the non-soundtrack material that Disney artists like Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Aly & AJ have put out the last couple of years. “Starstruck” moves along nicely, but it has nothing new to say about fame (Lady GaGa would seem to have a lock on that theme at the moment), and though I like the bouncy/stretchy sound effects on “Something About the Sunshine”, it’s obvious they’re there to hide its other weaknesses. So I’ll give Disney an A for effort and for upping their game, but only a B for the results.
k.d. lang—”Hallelujah (Vancouver Winter 2010 Version)”
#61
A few weeks ago I was complaining about Justin Timberlake’s attempt to recontextualize this song after the earthquake in Haiti. But this, performed by Lang at the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics (and what a celebratory piece of work it is!) is even worse. Verse by verse, Lang drains every ounce of meaning out of the song, and then bathes the final chorus in one of the most banal string arrangements I’ve ever heard. Even at the peak of her popularity I thought Lang was overrated, but I never thought she’d get as bad this.
DJ Khaled featuring T-Pain, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg & Rick Ross—”All I Do Is Win”
#64
The frustrating thing about DJ Khaled (aside from his fuzzy, overloaded, melodramatic beats) is that he’s a one-idea man. That doesn’t need to be a detriment—a lot of DJs have made great records with less than an idea—but Khaled’s depends entirely on the guests he finagles into rapping on his productions. The result is an often irritating variation in quality, not just from record to record, but within each record itself. In this case, he gets a mediocre but passable hook from T-Pain, a slightly above-average rap from Ludacris, and an unintelligible, below-average rap from Rick Ross. Then, just as you’re getting ready for the wind-down of another tepid Khaled production, Snoop Dogg steps up to the mike, and in four lines blows a hole in the middle of the record. I’m not familiar enough with Snoop’s stuff to know whether he’s used these lines before—all I know is they’re better than anything else I’ve heard Snoop come up with, and just about any other rapper I can think of, as well. It’s not just a matter of the shock of Snoop’s laid-back style compared to the others’, either, because every time I listen to this record that verse seems even more powerful, more portentous, more menacing. The only thing I can compare it to is Lil Wayne’s rap on Khaled’s “We’re Takin’ Over” a couple of years ago. Exactly why Khaled’s productions should be so inspirational to these guys I have no idea. Maybe there’s more to those beats than I’m picking up on.
Usher—”There Goes My Baby”
#71
The best thing Usher has done in years (he appears to have been listening to a lot of Ne-Yo and Maxwell), but still far short of whatever mark he’s aiming for. Whoever or whatever made him decide to cut short the middle-eight, which would have brought the song to a higher level, should be booted out of his entourage, or his head, as quickly as possible.
3Oh!3 featuring Neon Hitch—”Follow Me Down”
#89
You knew once they stopped being offensive they’d be boring, right?
Mariah Carey featuring Nicki Minaj—”Up Out My Face”
#100
Over the last few years Carey has been making the best music of her career (not a great leap, I know)—just in time for her audience to dry up and everyone under the age of 25 to start ignoring her. Judging by this record, which is only slightly above average but which she obviously had a great time making, and by reports of her recent concert appearances, she doesn’t really care. Good for her. That’s the sort of attitude that could make her even better.
OMG
March 3rd, 2010This is all over the internet already, but what the hell. The latest from OK Go: the same level of inventiveness as their previous videos, only this time with a budget. I think they sneak one edit in, but who cares? Wonder how long it took to get it right?
Leave me alone, Avril
March 2nd, 2010An answer record to Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” from Art Brut’s Eddie Argos (under the name Everybody Was In the French Resistance…Now!). Playing both sides, Argos also provides a more positive reply in the form of a sort-of cover on the band’s MySpace page. The album, which I haven’t had a chance to hear yet, is apparently all answer records, a genre sadly in need of revival.
Think of it as the practical application of this idea:
Go get ‘em, Eddie!
tilt this shift
February 26th, 2010I would like to say just for the record that I am already sick to death of tilt-shift photography and movies (the latest offender to catch my eye is here). Like everybody else, I thought it was cool at first, but there’s too much of it now, and to my way of thinking, by making the world look like a toy or a Lego village or the set of an episode of Thunderbirds, it folds in too neatly with the cutesy, infantile attitude that infects much of current pop culture. It’s a neat technique, and I’m sure somebody somewhere is making art with it, but if they are I haven’t seen it.
New this week—2/21/10
February 25th, 2010Artists for Haiti—”We Are the World 25: For Haiti”
#2
Whatever else might be said, good or bad, about the original “We Are the World”, at least it was of its time. This new version, despite the urgency of the cause, or perhaps because of it, isn’t. Even more than the original it sounds self-serving and self-congratulatory, and though some have made a big deal of the addition of rappers to the mix, after 25 years their presence is neither surprising nor significant—if anything they make the record sound more dated. What is surprising is the anonymity of it all. On first listen the only voice I recognized was Justin Bieber’s, and after a few more go-rounds I’ve only been able to pick up on a few of the others. It’s not that the singers aren’t trying to be distinctive—if there’s such a thing as a melisma overdose this record could induce it—but they’ve all switched into sincere balladry mode and are trying their best to appear humble (in the most self-aggrandizing way), which tends to make them all sound alike. Let’s face it, ego is one of the driving forces of pop music, and successfully feeding it is as close as most pop stars get to emotional and intellectual achievement; without it they’re nothing.
Iyaz—”Solo”
#43
Second single, and he now sounds even more like Sean Kingston than the first time out. Which doesn’t make this bad, it just means that you’ve heard it before, and better.
General Larry Platt—”Pants On the Ground”
#46
A not very funny—not to mention years out of date—soundbite repeated obsessively for three and a half-minutes. I’m sure the General is a lovable old coot, and I hope he enjoys his five minutes of fame, but the best that can be said for this is that it’s better than William Hung.
Rihanna—”Rude Boy”
#64
Better than “Hard”, but only just. Considering Rihanna’s well-publicized personal history, the “treat me rough” message, though consensual and reciprocal, leaves a sour taste. I don’t want to go so far as to accuse her of capitalizing on her misfortunes, but I’m beginning to think the entirety of Rated R was a mistake.
Lloyd Banks featuring Juelz Santana—”Beamer, Benz, or Bentley”
#76
Banks is more than a second-rate 50 Cent, but not that much more, and he’s a lot cruder. He’s also a little behind the times: this sounds like a nostalgic flashback to 2004, back when cars and stacks could still impress all on their own.
Monica—”Everything To Me”
#82
An old-fashioned, unambitious soul number that never rises above its nostalgic impetus. Which is just a fancy way of saying it’s dull.
Waka Flacka Flame—”O Let’s Do It”
#95
There’s a part of me that’s glad somebody’s still making drug-dealer rap—the life exists, after all, and someone besides Ghostface Killah should be documenting it (though I doubt anyone else could be as good at it). So I appreciate the lyrical content. I just wish the music were better, or more connected to its subject matter, instead of this off-the-rack beat.
Kellie Pickler—”Didn’t You Know How Much I Loved You”
#99
Sweet and charming she may be, but Pickler’s talent is in the medium range, and ballads like this are beyond her. Of course, no one with above-average talent would choose material as generic as this to begin with.
