Nelly—“The Champ”
#64
Written to order for ESPN, and it sounds like it, though it’s not that bad. Nelly is an expert at mixing genres (he did feature Tim McGraw on a record once, after all), and this has a pleasant pop lilt with slight indie touches over the hip-hop rhythms and synth squiggles. It’s soft for a football song, but then its intent is more uplift than fist pumping. And the joke about waving to his mom on TV is perfect.
B.o.B. featuring Andre 3000—“Play the Guitar”
#98
More decent rapping from B.o.B., but the real stars here are Andre 3000 and Bo Diddley. Diddley, of course, provides the beat (and snags two songwriting credits in the process, one as Bo Diddley, the other under his real name, Elias McDaniel—did he think that would make him twice as much in royalties?). Andre, meanwhile, delivers a rap that starts on top of a Church’s Chicken, swings over to Europe, encourages kids to take up an instrument and eat their vegetables, and ends with him strumming in a practice room, defending his musical approach (“Do you cry in tune, nigger?”). Not a great record overall, but Andre’s rap is a keeper. Where’s that Outkast record?
Is it great? Hard to say. The lyrics strike me as too bare, and the music is old-fashioned and nostalgic. But Springsteen hasn’t sounded this energized in years, and the message is both potent and ambiguous enough to make you think. So ambiguous that this could easily be embraced by both sides of the political debate, which might be exactly what Springsteen intended.
Taylor Swift featuring The Civil Wars—“Safe and Sound”
#30
It’s time, I suppose, for Taylor Swift to tweak her sound, but working with T-Bone Burnett—the man who has ruined more good performers than just about any producer I can think of—wasn’t the direction I was hoping for. This isn’t bad, but it’s just an average alt-folk ballad, a genre placement that should scare anyone who cares about Swift’s career. This is a soundtrack cut, so it may not mean much in terms of Swift’s future direction, but it’s worrying all the same. Even at her worst she’s never sounded so ordinary.
Flo Rida featuring Sia—“Wild Ones”
#57
Why did I never notice that Flo Rida has a lisp? No wonder he raps so fast. As for Sia, she seems willing to degrade herself in any way—first David Guetta, now this—if it means becoming the third-rate Robyn she’s always been destined to be.
Young Jeezy featuring Jay-Z & Andre 3000—“I Do”
#61
Not a great track; no one is in top form, but the difference in approach is interesting. Jeezy holds out the promise of marriage, but it’s just a ploy, because all he really wants is to get laid. Jay-Z, needless to say, takes the subject more seriously, maybe too seriously; he sounds as if he were holding himself back, trying to fictionalize his own situation to make it seem more gangsta. Andre 3000, meanwhile, is semi-serious but sounds like he’s still having fun, even while planning yet more headaches for poor Ms. Jackson.
Adam Lambert—“Better Than I Know Myself”
#76
Lambert has real talent, but this is a mess. Not only is the arrangement ridiculous, but when he isn’t hitting impressive high notes Lambert’s voice sounds thin and out of place. He loves flash, but he doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself when he’s closer to the ground. And songs that are all flash are hard to come by.
Nicki Minaj—“Stupid Hoe”
#81
A dis track designed to allow Minaj to show off as many of her voices as possible. It’s impressive, if not quite enjoyable, or even coherent. One question: if this is directed at Lil Kim, why does Minaj do a Rihanna impersonation (which finishes with a horrible flat note) near the end? Is there a separate target for each voice? That would be impressive.
Mac Miller—“Knock Knock”
#88
Miller is an average rapper at best—when he talks about being deeper than the water Michael Phelps is in, he does realize that’s only about eight feet, right? But he has the one gift that all party rappers need: he knows how to put a hook together, and to make it unusual enough to get people’s attention in the first place. In other words, he’s an earworm menace. If he ever managed to get on the radio—for now his records are too quirky and filled with obscenities to qualify—he could be dangerous.
V.I.C.—“Wobble”
#94
This is the sort of bubbly pop-rap I’m a sucker for, but it’s so mechanical it wears quickly, and instead of emphasizing the rhythms as it goes on it seems to downplay them, a mistake on any record that has nothing much to say lyrically. I enjoy its lack of pretension, but it’s still a miss.
When I first listened to “Stay Away” a few months ago, I was impressed but not decidedly so, filed it away in my head as “interesting”, and pretty much ignored it, even as more and more people were raving about it. My mistake. This more austere live version is stunning: beautiful, emotional, perfectly controlled.
The New York Times article on Cee Lo Green and the supposed impossibility of making a living as a musician, even when you’ve sold five million downloads of a single song, came out a while ago, but I’ve been fuming about it ever since so I thought I’d better get something down before I explode. The article seemed so obviously to miss the main point and to be so selective in its evidence that I was surprised to see some people taking it seriously and even expressing sympathy for Cee Lo in his dark hour. It is the paper of record, after all; how could it not be true?
First, of course, there is the obvious elephant in the room: the idea that Cee Lo can’t make a living making music, and instead has to depend on product endorsements, judging singing competitions, hosting talk shows, and playing extended gigs in Vegas. The fact that none of these things would have happened if it wasn’t for “Fuck You”—and “Crazy” before it—seems to have escaped the author. As did Cee Lo’s perfectly respectable career and living before those hits, including his time in the Goodie Mob and as a pre-Gnarls Barkley solo act. The guy’s been in the business for over twenty years, but somehow, according to the Times, he couldn’t make a living until he started shilling Seven-Up.
And why couldn’t he make a living? Because nobody, but nobody, can make a decent living selling records, that’s why. That’s gospel now, and you’re not allowed to doubt it. Even a monster hit like “Fuck You” made Cee Lo only an estimated $650,000. Forget for a moment that that figure is probably more than Cee Lo made in all his years in Goodie Mob, and possibly most of his solo career as well, but think about all the other money he made off of records this year. Royalties off of “Crazy”, for a start, which are probably still coming in. Then there are songwriting royalties for any cover versions of both songs (hello Gwyneth Paltrow and the Glee Cast). Finally, there are the performance royalties that are collected each time either record is played or sung on the radio, TV, in karaoke bars, and by cover bands. Chances are Cee Lo cleared at least $2 million off of “Fuck You” alone, and I’m being conservative. Then there’s the album, Lady Killer. The Times cites sales of 450,000 copies, which it considers lacklustre. Compared to a decade ago, that figure is low (though describing a top ten debut as “modest” is going a little far—how high does the Times set the bar, anyway?), but even if you figure Cee-Lo only made about $1.50 off of each copy, that’s close to another $700,000, a number that for some reason the Times doesn’t include in its article. In other words, in record sales and publishing alone, Cee Lo has probably made close to, and possibly more than $3 million dollars in the last year, more than enough to keep even the most flamboyant would-be “Loberace” alive and well-dressed for a couple of years at least. The rest is cash-in and retirement security.
I don’t begrudge Cee Lo any of it (though he’s got a lot of nerve describing himself as a “working-class” musician), but articles as misinformed and misleading as this are, I think, ultimately damaging to the industry. Certainly it is to the artists, if only because it makes it look as though the music business is hopeless in ways that it isn’t, and creates a feeling that any one, no matter how successful they are, is doomed to an endless grind of endorsements and television appearances, just to keep their heads above water. I have a feeling that some in the business would love to have people think so, in order to maintain their appearance of usefulness and keep artists chained to the system. It’s enough to make any hopeful musician chuck it in before they get started, even though there are plenty of ways to make a living outside the system. If you’re lucky, you can even do it by selling records.
Everyone is raving about the new Scissor Sisters single, “Shady Love”, co-written and featuring vocals by Azealia Banks (under the name Krystal Pepsy). I like it, and the partnership is exciting, but I’ve always thought the Scissor Sisters were overrated, and on first hearing this seems more pretentious than danceable (maybe if I hadn’t watched the ridiculous video on first hearing I might have a nicer opinion).
What I am excited about, however, is another Banks collab, “Runnin’” (which I missed when it came out in September) with one of my favorite up and coming DJs, Lunice. It’s not as powerful as “212″, which came out just a week before, but then it points in an entirely different direction. Which is more than you can say about the Scissor Sisters’s record, which sounds like a discofied version of “212″. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s like an instant pop conversion.
Tim McGraw—”Better Than I Used To Be”
#81
The lead single from McGraw’s last album for Curb records, with whom he’s been legally wrangling and trying to get out from under for about half his career. It’s still McGraw, so it’s better than some, but it’s still a piece of stereotypical country you can bet McGraw didn’t think about more than twice. Is that title intended as a message to either Curb or McGraw’s fans? Doesn’t matter; chances are you’ll forget this faster than you can say “contractual obligation”.
Glee Cast—”Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
#92
Lee Brice—”A Woman Like You”
#96
In which Brice stretches a two line joke into a three verse song, and succeeds in pandering both to his wife and his audience at the same time. At least his wife has the sense to roll her eyes when he tries to sneak this one past her.
Michael Buble—”All I Want for Christmas Is You”
#99
I have no sentimental attachment to the original, so it doesn’t strike me as a terrible idea to slow it down to a tempo usually reserved for songs about broken hearts or dead puppies. It doesn’t strike me as a good idea, though, either. Especially since Buble sings it with all the intensity he’d apply to buying a present for a distant cousin at the last minute on Christmas Eve in a Walgreens.
Gym Class Heroes featuring Neon Hitch—”Ass Back Home”
#100
In an era of self-absorbed male singers, Travie McCoy is the worst, or at least the most grating, and Neon Hitch does nothing but prove she can stand equal with Dido and Skylar Grey in the great women-who-provide-the-lyrical-hook-on-rap-records contest. Which still leaves her behind Dev and whoever is singing backup for Ghostface Killah these days. Did I mention it’s reggae? Reggae like Jack Johnson, that is.
Glee Cast
“We Are Young”, #12
“Survivor/I Will Survive”, #51
“Man In the Mirror”, #76
“ABC”, #88
“Red Solo Cup”, #92
T-Pain featuring Lil Wayne—”Bang Bang Pow Pow”
#48
After the failure of two strong singles a year or so ago, it appears T-Pain has decided to go the more obvious route to revive his career: bigtime guests, obvious samples and/or beats, an avoidance of any subtlety or musical games. So we get straightforward gangsta-party music, with lots of sex, lame raps, gunshots, the works (including Lil Wayne, whose rap I can’t recall at the moment). Because it’s T-Pain, he doesn’t sink a low as others might, but it seems damn low for him. I wonder what happened to the album those earlier singles were from. There’s no sign of them on Revolver, not even the deluxe version.
fun. featuring Janelle Monae—”We Are Young”
#53
A problematic generational anthem. The message goes something like this: “The parties over. Sorry I hurt you. I’ll help you home and we’ll get some sleep and tomorrow we’ll change the world.” Fair enough, but I worry whether the scar he gave his ex is metaphorical or actual. Janelle Monae’s presence is negligible, which is just as well in this case. The melody has a certain lift, but the arrangement is too sparse and the overall effect is hollow. I’ll blame that on the band, not on their generation.
Jake Owen—”Alone With You”
#90
I like the feel of this, and Owen sings it well, but it doesn’t get anywhere near as down in the dumps as it should, and Owen doesn’t seem to be putting up much of a fight against this particular femme fatale. She’s got him whipped, and he sounds too weak to even think about resisting. At the same time, he doesn’t sound like he’s all that turned on by her, either, and if she can’t manage that, what possible power could she have over him? Little details like that are what makes songs come alive, and this doesn’t have them.
Keith Urban—”You Gonna Fly”
#91
I’m beginning to think the only difference between Urban and Rascal Flatts is that there’s only one of him. His sound is a little rougher, to be sure, a little more rock and roll, but that’s like saying that shag is a little rougher than fleece. It’s still designed to be warm and cozy and nothing else.
Kelly Clarkson—”I’ll Be Home for Christmas”
#93
It’s been almost a decade since Clarkson won the first season of American Idol, and you would think she’d have shaken the dust off her heels by now, but every once in a while she still sounds like she’s a contestant. This is overdramatized, oversung, and like too many American Idol competitors, Clarkson seems to have no idea what the song is about. She also throws in a change in the lyric, intentional or not I don’t know, that strips away any sense the song might still have made, even with her singing it. Don’t even get me started on the trumpet solo. A mistake in just about every way.
Waka Flocka Flame featuring Drake—”Round of Applause”
#97
This opens with a loud belch. I find it impossible to listen afterwards. Even among rappers (or rap yellers, in this case) there should be such a thing as dignity. Maybe more so.
Edens Edge—”Amen”
#99
Despite the name of the group and the title of the song, this is not Contemporary Christian Country, or Christian anything aside from the way it uses common pentacostal phrases as a lame joke in the chorus. In the who’ll-be-the-next-Lady-Antebellum sweepstakes (formerly the who’ll-be-the-next-Sugarland sweepstakes), these folks are dead last, with a sound designed to be so soft and sweet and nonthreatening it barely exists. Somehow that makes their use of religious terms even more offensive.
