American Idol week having faded as rapidly as ever (half the records that debuted last week are off the chart, and “No Boundaries” has already dropped out of the top 20), the Hot 100 gets back to normal with a week of largely mediocre country and rap records (none of which are by Eminem). Welcome back to the status quo, folks.
Rascall Flatts—“Summer Nights”
#80
Just by not being a ballad this seems a step up from most Rascal Flatts records, but it’s not. The lyrics and music are pure cliché, the arrangement is designed to load as many pre-packaged audience-pleasing moments in as possible, and the sound is so harsh it’s no fun at all. And whoever sings (you think I’d waste my time looking up these guy’s names?) has just about the worst voice for rock and roll you’ve ever heard. No wonder they cut so many ballads.
Gloriana—“Wild At Heart”
#82
Country stalwarts love to go on about tradition, but the truth is country is as trend driven as any other popular music, and here comes yet another copy of Sugarland to prove the point. They rock a little more emphatically, perhaps too much so, and the song goes nowhere, but the influence is obvious. The lyrical cliches about wild nights and wild love, though, are about as traditional as you can get.
Randy Houser—“Boots On”
#83
Generic country about how wearing dirty boots and having tobacco can rings on your pockets drives those honky tonkin’ chicks wild. Dottie West was right: it wasn’t God who made honky tonk angels—apparently it was Copenhagen.
Twista—“Wetter”
#87
The female supplicant Twista has hired to sing his praises pronounces “Daddy” in such a childish, mewling fashion that at first I thought she was saying “Diddy”. Diddy’s sexism, however, is more insidious and less overt than Twista’s. Oddly enough, that gives Twista the advantage; at least you know where he’s coming from, even if it’s a place you’d never want to go yourself. Doesn’t make this record feel any less unclean, though.
Reba—“Strange”
#91
Not strange enough. Not Reba enough, either.
Dorrough—“Ice Cream Paint Job”
#92
Considering the level of crudity to which rap metaphor often descends, I was afraid there was some sexual meaning in that title, but it turns out Dorrough’s just talking about his car. His ride may be designed to impress the ladies, but except for a background vocal repeating “Hey girl” on the chorus, there isn’t a single reference to women on the entire record; it’s just a lengthy description of how tricked out his car is over what might be described as slightly more refined Soulja Boy beats. Not counting Springsteen’s “Pink Cadillac” and some country singles, I don’t think I’ve heard a song so vehicularly obsessed since the glory days of The Beach Boys and Jan and Dean. What decade is this again?
The-Dream featuring Kanye West—“Walkin’ On the Moon”
#100
I feel about the The-Dream much the way I feel about Ne-Yo: I appreciate what they’re doing, and often admire the results, but only rarely do they come across for me. West’s rap moves into Andre 3000 territory in terms of its sense of play, and the record overall is pleasantly eccentric, but it feels like album filler, or a b-side. I like it better each time I hear it, though, so maybe it will grow on me.
Tags: Dorrough, Gloriana, Kanye West, Randy Houser, Rascal Flatts, Reba, The-Dream, Twista