The Illiterate

Eminem—”Not Afraid”
#1
I’m happy for Eminem; he sounds stronger, sharper, on top of things. But this is not a good record. His delivery is forced and too consciously aggressive, his mix of scatological philosophizing and sentimentality confusing when it isn’t embarrassing, the hooks are dull, and there isn’t a single moment of wit or humor. Maybe this is a lead-up to something better, but he’s still trying too hard and thinking too much. He sounds like a dry drunk.

3Oh!3 featuring Ke$ha—”My First Kiss”
#9
Hate to admit it, but this one’s growing on me. It gets a certain kind of lust just right, and Ke$ha helps to tamper down some of the more offensive edges of 3Oh!3′s masculine aggression. They’re still crude and simplistic, but as long as they’re playing on a level field and the hooks are catchy enough, I have no problem with that.

Glee Cast
“Total Eclipse of the Heart”, #16
“Run Joey Run”, #61
“Ice Ice Baby”, #74
“Physical”, #89
“U Can’t Touch This”, #92
Campy trash like this week’s selections should be perfect for a show like this, but if they had any fun with these songs on the program you’d never know it by the music. They approach these songs with the same stolid seriousness and Broadway earnestness with which they approach everything else. If that seriousness is intended as a joke, it’s never been funny, but I don’t think it is. As far as I can tell the only joke is: “Look, I’m singing those trashy hits your parents get all nostalgic about.” Only “Ice Ice Baby”, which was half a joke to begin with (in retrospect it may be the greatest rap parody ever), comes across.

Drake—”Find Your Love”
#34
This isn’t great, but it’s the first Drake record I’ve heard where I feel I’m listening to Drake, and not his imitation of somebody else. A step in the right direction, if nothing else.

Young Jeezy featuring Plies—”Lose My Mind”
#35
In a way, it’s good to know that people like Jeezy, and even Plies, are still celebrating the thug—or, as they call it, goon—life. As hip-hop has moved further towards dance-pop, and Euro-dance-pop at that, it’s only right that there’s someone on the charts to remind us of how a lot of people still live. Not that Jeezy and Plies take any of that seriously, and this is as trashy and crude as you might imagine, but it’s also clever (“We drink that rozay til we black out/wake up, drink some more, pass back out”), and they’re representing all the same.

Lee Brice—”Love Like Crazy”
#97
This starts off with so much down-home country syrup, especially in the vocals, that it’s hard not to wonder if it might be intended as parody. Then you get to the second verse, where the clean living, hard working, loving, praying small town southern man sells his one man computer business to Microsoft for big bucks, and suddenly you find yourself somewhere beyond parody, where the brushing of nostalgic country cliches against modern life generates a form of artless surrealism. Brice sings the whole thing straight, and I don’t think it’s intended as a joke, which only makes it weirder. It’s one of those odd moments where worlds collide, garishly, in the place you’d least expect.

Theory Of A Deadman—”All Or Nothing”
#99
I have no idea what a theory of a deadman would be, but these guys do inspire me to suggest a new definition of a deadman: a guy whose greatest ambition in life is to be Nickelback.

Tags: 3OH!3, Drake, Eminem, Glee Cast, Ke$ha, Lee Brice, Plies, Theory of a Deadman, Young Jeezy

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 18th, 2010 at 8:28 pm and is filed under Hot 100, new this week, singles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.