The Wisdom of the Illiterati


	2007 top ten worst ten Unfortunately, competition was fairly fierce for this list, and there were any number of records that could have placed in slots six through ten. But even though I know there’s been a great deal of popular outcry against Fergie and Avril Lavigne, neither was in serious consideration. Fergie because I still kind of like her, and Avril because the first two minutes of “Girlfriend”, before she tries to fancy it up, are really pretty good. And though I wanted to have Fall Out Boy on this list, “This Ain’t a Scene…” just wasn’t bad enough to make it (though, as you’ll see below, Patrick Stump is). 10. Baby Bash (ft. T-Pain) – “Cyclone” 9. Plies (ft. T-Pain) – “Shawty” 8. The All American Rejects – “It Ends Tonight” 7. The Plain White Ts – “Hey There Delilah” 6. Colby Caillat – “Bubbly” The bottom five are just bad records; the top five, however, are another story altogether. To really make the top of this list, I decided, an artist needed to not only make a bad record, but to have committed some sort of crime against humanity in the process. 5. Gym Class Hereos – “Cupid’s Chokehold/Breakfast In America” For not only reinvigorating the thankfully almost forgotten oeuvre of Supertramp, but for reviving a strain of late-70s smugly self-satisfied sexism that I hoped had disappeared from the world. No, boys, smiling and sounding cute and delivering up a catchy hook doesn’t make you any less of a pig. This makes most sexist emo bands sound like Gloria Steinem. And Patrick Stump? Patrick Stump can go to hell. 4. Daughtry – “It’s Not Over” For being able to sing but for refusing to sing anything worth singing, and for adding fresh blood to the only musical genre I can think of with no redeeming features whatsoever—hard rock power balladry. Whose worst perpetrators are… 3. Nickleback – “Rockstar” For not only being dull themselves, but for making the lives of rockstars sound dull. And, of course, for being The Worst Band In the World. 2. Diddy (ft. Keyshia Cole) – “Last Night” For cynicism and sexism beyond the call of duty; for constantly hiring female vocalists to sing his praises; for making a beat lifted from Prince sound dull; for generally being the Hugh Hefner of the rap world (mitigating factor, though not nearly enough: produced several tracks on American Gangster--maybe Jay-Z knows how to keep his ego in check). 1. Akon – “Sorry, Blame It On Me” For the sort of self-serving candor usually employed by politicians and clergymen caught in airport restrooms; for making top ten with it, anyway. \| [Archives] Search entries:		top ten 1966 top ten OTHER OCCASIONAL RAMBLINGS Hail Blogoslavia! ~~100~~ 45 or so things about JSM The Saga of the Lone Biscuit OTHER BLOGS Blogroll Me

2007 top ten worst ten

Unfortunately, competition was fairly fierce for this list, and there were any number of records that could have placed in slots six through ten. But even though I know there’s been a great deal of popular outcry against Fergie and Avril Lavigne, neither was in serious consideration. Fergie because I still kind of like her, and Avril because the first two minutes of “Girlfriend”, before she tries to fancy it up, are really pretty good. And though I wanted to have Fall Out Boy on this list, “This Ain’t a Scene…” just wasn’t bad enough to make it (though, as you’ll see below, Patrick Stump is).

10. Baby Bash (ft. T-Pain) – “Cyclone”
9. Plies (ft. T-Pain) – “Shawty”
8. The All American Rejects – “It Ends Tonight”
7. The Plain White Ts – “Hey There Delilah”
6. Colby Caillat – “Bubbly”

The bottom five are just bad records; the top five, however, are another story altogether. To really make the top of this list, I decided, an artist needed to not only make a bad record, but to have committed some sort of crime against humanity in the process.

5. Gym Class Hereos – “Cupid’s Chokehold/Breakfast In America” For not only reinvigorating the thankfully almost forgotten oeuvre of Supertramp, but for reviving a strain of late-70s smugly self-satisfied sexism that I hoped had disappeared from the world. No, boys, smiling and sounding cute and delivering up a catchy hook doesn’t make you any less of a pig. This makes most sexist emo bands sound like Gloria Steinem. And Patrick Stump? Patrick Stump can go to hell.

4. Daughtry – “It’s Not Over” For being able to sing but for refusing to sing anything worth singing, and for adding fresh blood to the only musical genre I can think of with no redeeming features whatsoever—hard rock power balladry. Whose worst perpetrators are…

3. Nickleback – “Rockstar” For not only being dull themselves, but for making the lives of rockstars sound dull. And, of course, for being The Worst Band In the World.

2. Diddy (ft. Keyshia Cole) – “Last Night” For cynicism and sexism beyond the call of duty; for constantly hiring female vocalists to sing his praises; for making a beat lifted from Prince sound dull; for generally being the Hugh Hefner of the rap world (mitigating factor, though not nearly enough: produced several tracks on American Gangster--maybe Jay-Z knows how to keep his ego in check).

1. Akon – “Sorry, Blame It On Me” For the sort of self-serving candor usually employed by politicians and clergymen caught in airport restrooms; for making top ten with it, anyway.