Archive for the ‘Hahaha’ Category

Buh-bye

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Though they have their weaknesses, there’s only one aspect of The Hold Steady’s music that I have ever actively hated: the keyboards. They always sounded more like pretentious flourishes than integral parts of the songs, providing a sub-Springsteenian gloss that not only wasn’t necessary but made the music sound more derivative.

So I’m overjoyed to hear that their keyboardist has quit. Not only that, but he’s helped to confirm my opinion by going out with one final pretentious flourish, citing philosopher Isaiah Berlin and declaring the band too musically limited to meet his exacting standards. I look forward to never hearing from him again.

Saddest headline of the day

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“T-Pain Says Lil Wayne’s Jail Time Put T-Wayne Album On Hold”

This explains so much

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

“Around here, we feel like Putumayo World Music and Whole Foods Market kind of grew up together…”
–Dan Storper, on the Whole Foods blog

A (very) minor resurrection

Friday, January 15th, 2010

It’s worth noting, even if it doesn’t exactly call for the ringing of bells and cheering in the streets, that Woody Allen has written something for The New Yorker that’s actually funny. Not fall down funny, or Kugelmass Episode funny, but funny all the same. Everything he’s written over the last few years has felt forced and strained, but this is easy-going, relaxed, and just about perfect. It’s about a murderous cow, and in tone it reminds me of the moose story that was part of his stand-up act in the ’60s. Who knew he still had it in him?

How else you gonna make eggnog?

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

Last weekend Jaq and I threw a Christmas party, and of course it was my job to put together some music. I was short on time and most of my Christmas music is on vinyl, so I decided to use my Rhapsody account and slap together a quick Christmas playlist. I picked a few obvious favorites—Dylan’s insane new Christmas album, Phil Spector, Charles Brown, etc—but then I decided it would be fun to put together a jazz playlist. I was happy to discover that there was quite a lot, except, that is, when I did a search for Louis Armstrong. I had assumed that since he recorded in the heyday of classic Christmas pop music, there must be quite a few Armstrong renditions of seasonal favorites. I was wrong. There are plenty of Armstrong Christmas albums, but not a single one that isn’t supplemented with either tracks by other artists or Armstrong cuts that can barely be stretched into the holiday tradition. He just didn’t care for Christmas music, I guess.

My favorite, by far, is Wonderful Christmas, which has both the cheesiest cover and the most bizarre song selection. Its fourteen tracks include three actual Christmas songs, two songs that are often performed as if they were holiday related, even though they’re not (”Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and “Moonlight In Vermont”), and nine cuts that have no relation to Christmas or wintertime whatsoever. These include “Hello Dolly” (well, it was a hit), “Jeepers Creepers”, “New Orleans Stomp”, and the woeful blues of “St James Infirmary”. The two eyebrow raisers, though, are “Just A Gigolo” (is he a present?) and “I Want A Butter and Egg Man”, which, as you might have guessed, is not about dairy products. It is, however, about a sneaky guy who makes special deliveries. That’s close enough to Christmas, I guess.

It would be just like them to kill the only one who’s done anything interesting

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Joe Walsh Executed To Keep ‘Eagles Greatest Hits’ Sales Ahead Of ‘Thriller’.

The best part of the joke is that Walsh doesn’t play on that album.