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The Great, the Bad, and the Vaguely
Hot 100 Roundup—3/10/12

Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

B.o.B.—“So Good”
#11
One thing you can say about Bruno Mars, when he writes made-to-order hooks for other people’s records they at least have some emotional edge to them, which is more than Ryan Tedder, who’s responsible for this one, has ever managed. This is the worst sort of processed cheese, slimy and sticky and totally lacking in flavor. As for B.o.B., he’s obviously hoping to re-elevate himself to the pop plateau Mars placed him on two years ago. I assume Mars himself wasn’t available. I have a feeling Ryan Tedder is always available—for a price, that is.

Carrie Underwood—“Good Girl”
#24
I appreciate Underwood’s willingness, even desire, to rock out, but this jumble of clichés isn’t the best way to go about it. For one thing, she needs to settle on a single rock style; this jumps from Joan Jett to hair metal to glam without ever settling down long enough to plant its feet on the ground (or the stage). Plus, like too many of Underwood’s records, both the rockers and the ballads, it sounds mechanical—even when she gets loose everything seems to be carefully planned. It’s weird to think that right now the best country singer to come off American Idol is Kellie Pickler: any song you could choose from 100 Proof is better than this one.

Carly Rae Jepsen—“Call Me Maybe”
#38
Since Jepsen is twenty-six this isn’t technically tween pop, but it shares all the virtues of the genre and then some. It’s bright and bouncy, with a gorgeous and striking arrangement, but with enough of a self-possessed edge to make it hit home in ways you don’t expect. Not enough is made of how strong girls are in tween pop—even when they’re crushing over some boy they maintain their sense of dignity and self; in fact, one of the virtues they see in boys is the possibility of using them to increase their own strength and worth—not in the trophy sense, but in the sense of a real partnership. It’s a far more mature point of view than you find in most pop written for people in their twenties, which is why it has always seemed ironic that radio programmers think of tween pop as kiddie music. Jepsen may change that, because what she adds to the usual mix is sex. “Where you think you’re going, baby?” is one of the sultriest lines of the year, and the ambiguity as to who’s saying it, Jepsen or the boy she’s infatuated with, only makes it hotter. A great record.

Glee Cast
“Fly/I Believe I Can Fly”, #56
“Cough Syrup”, #65
“What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)”, #66
“Here’s To Us”, #73
“Glad You Came”, #90

fun.—“Some Nights”
#62
I’m still not entirely sure what to make of this record, but it’s growing on me. Stylistically it’s a jumble: country-folk harmonies on the intro, then Brazilian drums, with subtle touches of auto-tune and other electronics, and lyrics that are half chant and half Paul Simon-like confessional, covering a lot of uneven and difficult to navigate emotional ground. They do work one neat trick: the song starts as a generic complaint about a directionless life and then progressively adds more and more personal detail, as if the singer were realizing the roots and depths of his feelings as he goes along, and ends with what sounds like a breakup—whether from a lover, a city, or an entire life, is hard to tell. I suspect the jumble is intentional, and meant to lead somewhere, but they haven’t quite figured out how to do that, even if they do know where they’re going. Allowing the generic parts to overwhelm the personal stuff is a big mistake, and sometimes the connections they hope to make aren’t there. Promising, for sure, but I’ll withhold judgment for now.

Rihanna featuring Chris Brown—“Birthday Cake”
#63
Despite all the controversy over Chris Brown’s appearance on this record, the only real reason to listen to it is The-Dream, who creates a track that’s far dirtier than any of the lyrics and has more personality than either of the principals. One question, though: is that Robyn singing the bridge, or Rihanna imitating her? Uncanny, either way.

Tyga
“Muthafucka Up” (featuring Nicki Minaj), #74
“Make It Nasty”, #91
“Mothafucka Up” has a great beat, and Tyga makes the most of it, chopping up the rhythm on one line, riding it for all it’s worth on another. He may not have much to say, but he has the flow down. Minaj, meanwhile, plays it safe rhythmically and lyrically and contributes nothing special. Even with that let down it’s still far better than what Tyga delivers by himself on “Make It Nasty”, which is filler from beginning to end.

Usher—“Climax”
#81
I’ve never been much of an Usher fan, but thanks to Diplo this is as stunning as everybody says it is, a mix of lust, regret, self-realization and despair built on the most minimal of grooves. What’s most impressive is that even though the sound is open and spacious, the overall effect is one of claustrophobia, with electronic buzzes servings as symbols of the singer’s darkest and most despairing thoughts as they surround him. Best touch: the disembodied, wordless vocals that are sampled and dropped seemingly at random throughout the track, like some long-hidden pain suddenly rising to the surface.

Jason Aldean—“Fly Over States”
#92
As someone who has “drove through Indiana”, I can appreciate Aldean’s point of view, but once again the defensiveness of rural pride becomes a stumbling block. Or maybe I should say offensiveness, since the catalog of rural charms always seems to be used to attack shallow urbanites for their lack of appreciation of things like farmers (someone should write a study of how farming has become a self-sacrificing, patriotic act in the southern imagination while remaining a corporate monstrosity in reality), “water color” sunsets (which can be found anywhere) and girls from Amarillo (who can also be found anywhere, especially on the coasts, because they can’t wait to get out of Texas). Aldean doesn’t milk this as much as Montgomery Gentry and others, at least not lyrically, but since he’s a master of musical overkill the effect is much the same. It’s still chauvinism turning towards bigotry, no matter how you play it.

Young the Giant—“Cough Syrup”
#95
I suspect something “important” is being said here, but the lyrics and music are so generic and vague that it’s hard to get a bead on—something about the state of the world or generational apathy or personal ambivalence or something. The biggest problem is that I can’t tell whether the cough syrup reference is about needing a cure for the world’s ills or the desire to narcotize oneself into oblivion. The most confusing point is the line about “one more spoon of cough syrup now, oh whoa oh”. Do syrup addicts use spoons? I always thought they swigged straight from the bottle. And isn’t cough syrup designed to treat symptoms, not the actual illness? What good is that? Do these guys even know what their metaphors mean?

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Everybody Dance Now
Hot 100 Roundup—3/3/12

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

Katy Perry—“Part Of Me”
#1
Straightforward dance music like this does Perry a favor. The more she strays from groove and traditional structure the more irritating she becomes (it does something weird to her voice, for one thing). She also tends to be at her best when she’s telling her man off. She likes fireworks metaphors too much, and this is more an example of craft than inspiration, but it’s still her best single since “Teenage Dream”.

Nicki Minaj—“Starships”
#9
Minaj’s chameleon voice is one of her greatest strengths; she can shift effortlessly from tough hood rat to ethereal angel and a range of roles in between. In some cases, like this record, that versatility is the only thing holding her music together, or that keeps it from falling into cliché. But it also emphasizes her greatest weakness: the lack of connecting tissue between her many ideas. I couldn’t begin to suggest why she starts singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”, or why parts of this sound like a Rihanna impersonation, except as a distraction from the cliché lyrics and overworked strobe-light synth bursts. I like the line about not paying the rent, but that’s the only sign of personality on the record.

Chris Brown—“Turn Up the Music”
#10
Unless you’re disturbed by the very idea of Brown’s continued career, there’s nothing offensive about this record. Though I have my doubts about the way the music industry, not to mention Rihanna, have reacted to events, it would be foolish to deny that this is decent, journeyman work, uninspired as it may be. I don’t love it, and I don’t hate it; it’s just there. I just wish I could be sure he’ll simply fade away into the mediocre career he deserves.

One Direction—“What Makes You Beautiful”
#28
A boy band almost literally put together on TV (all the members had tried out and failed as solo singers for X Factor, when the producers suggested they work together), One Direction are, in sound and history, essentially the British version of Disney pop. As such I welcome them gladly to our shores. Let’s face it, Disney pop (aside from Miley Cyrus, whose breakthrough was the exception) should have been all over American radio between 2005 and 2010, and if it hadn’t been for radio programmers’ odd belief that the music wasn’t “mature” enough for top forty, it would have been. But immature Brit-kids are different from immature Americans: they have novelty value, and accents. That the music is the same catchy guitar pop that Disney put out only makes the landing of these clean-cut invaders easier. The pump has been primed, so to speak. It’s the same old story, the British selling our own ideas back to us after we’ve failed to appreciate them ourselves. Oh, and the record? Pretty good.

Bruno Mars—“Runaway Baby”
#50
Mars is always best on uptempo material—his excessive energy level makes his ballads overwrought, but it’s perfect for material like this throwaway, which made the chart only because he performed it on the Grammies. All the same, it’s more charming, and more fun, than his last few singles. Also, though this doesn’t seem to rate mention by anyone else, he’s an excellent lyricist: the second verse is hilarious.

Rascal Flatts—“Banjo”
#63
Not terrible, which is a surprise. Maybe even not bad, which could be a sign of upheaval in the natural order. One question, though: if they love banjo so much, why do they drown it out with electric guitars at the end of the song?

Glee Cast
“I Will Always Love You”, #87
“Stereo Hearts”, #92

David Guetta featuring Chris Brown & Lil Wayne—“I Can Only Imagine”
#90
Maybe I’m just feeling forgiving this week, but despite the presence of Chris Brown I think this may be the best thing Guetta’s done. It helps that there’s some variation in the sound—even some surprises—and that there’s a decent structure to the song rather than the usual flailing around. Repeating Lil Wayne’s verse at the end is a mistake, though; Wayne’s phrasing is so distinctive that it’s easy to tell that Guetta ran the same track with only a slightly different background. On a chorus that’s excusable, but on a verse it’s weird and unsettling. It sounds like cheating.

Skrillex featuring Sirah—“Bangarang”
#95
Autotune, pitch-shifting, skittering digital snares, massive explosions of distorted bass, these are all ideas that have come and gone and come again over the last few years, all having their moment in the sun, all eventually derided as overworked and clichéd (and they were). Not to mention dubstep. Skrillex uses them all, and then some, mixes them together, and doesn’t give a shit what you think about it. He’s having fun, and learning a craft, and making art all at the same time. Every single has more packed into it, is more strongly structured and thought out, and is better than the one before. He’s taken a bunch of stuff that the cognoscenti had discarded as played-out and breathed new life into it. Isn’t that the way art is supposed to work? We’re stepping into what promises to be one of the most inventive eras in the history of pop music, and right now, Skrillex is out front.

deadmau5 featuring Greta Svabo Bech—“Raise Your Weapon”
#100
While Skrillex is an artist with a capital F (as in Fun and Fuck you), deadmau5 would like to be known as an artist with a capital A. You can hear his desire to be taken seriously through all eight minutes of this record. It’s an interesting attitude for a guy who performs wearing a giant glowing mouse head. This isn’t a bad record, but its seriousness weighs it down, and the lyrics are more confusing than anything else. It’s pretentious, is what it is. No wonder Dave Grohl likes him.

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Second Tier or Below
Hot 100 Roundup, 2/25/12

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

Meek Mill featuring T.I., Birdman, Lil Wayne, D.J. Khaled, Rick Ross & Swizz Beats—“Ima Boss”
#51
His brief change in style having flopped, at least when compared to his earlier singles, DJ Khaled goes back to the bank on this remix, providing big bragging beats for big bragging rappers. Nobody says anything important, but the energy level is surprisingly high. Usually when a producer returns to a style he’d hoped to move beyond, the intensity drops. If anything, this is even more energetic than Khaled’s earlier hits. It sounds like a homecoming. Maybe he changed his style out of a sense of duty, not desire.

Lindsey Pavao—“Say Aah”
#80

Glee Cast featuring Ricky Martin
“Sexy and I Know It”, #81
“La Isla Bonita”, #99

Kip Moore—“Somethin’ ‘Bout a Truck”
#89
This is based on the usual country clichés about trucks and beer and women and skinny dipping, but Moore manages to create a good record by keeping things as simple as possible: no fancy bridges or middle eights, a tune that’s immediately familiar and easy to hum, and lyrics that never get fancy or stretch some ridiculous rustic metaphor to the breaking point. The arrangement could be less bombastic, but that’s a common problem with a lot of country rock these days, and hardly Moore’s fault.

Calvin Harris—“Feel So Close”
#90
Harris is less bombastic than David Guetta or Levels or just about any other dance-pop producer right now, but that doesn’t make him any better. His subtlety doesn’t have any actual idea behind it; it’s just the way he prefers to approach things. It does make for a more dynamic listen, I’ll admit, but unfortunately during the quiet bits you have to listen to Harris sing, which isn’t a dynamic experience at all.

Kirko Bangz—“Drank In My Cup”
#96
A Drake sound-alike without the self-doubt or the well-meaning sexist condescension—that is, without any of the things that make Drake more than just another rapper on the make. The beat’s good, but it’s a Drake imitation, as well . Except for the intro, that is, which is lifted, uncredited, from Cream. Somehow I can’t see Drake doing something like that, either.

YG featuring Tyga, Snoop Dogg & Nipsey Hussle—“Snitchs Ain’t…”
#100
With women running the top ten, it shouldn’t be a surprise to find the return of good old rap misogyny down at the bottom of the chart. I would say that’s where it deserves to be, except that it doesn’t deserve to be on the chart at all. At least the first verse shows some humor in its putdowns; the rest is catchy and dumb in the worst way.

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W-H-Y, Madonna?
Hot 100 Roundup, 2/18/12

Friday, February 24th, 2012

Madonna featuring Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.—“Give Me All Your Luvin’”
#13
Aside from its role in broadening the revenue stream flowing from Madonna’s Super Bowl appearance, I can’t think of a single reason for this record to exist. It sounds like Avril Lavigne fronting The Go-Gos. Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. are invited to add extra heft and to receive Madonna’s blessing, but they’re given so little time they sound uninspired and out of place. As for Madonna, her retreat to a style she long ago jettisoned only points out how much craft she still possesses, and how much of her passion has disappeared. The reference to “Lucky Star” only emphasizes what she’s lost: she didn’t know nearly as much about creating records then as she does now, but “Lucky Star” is still twenty times better than this. She was remaking the world back then. Now she’s just trying to keep a steely grip on it.

Glee Cast
“Smooth Criminal” (featuring 2Cellos), #26
“Black or White”, #54
“Human Nature”, #56
“Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’”, #78
“Bad”, #80

Melanie Fiona—“4 AM”
#97
This ends wonderfully—a sudden burst of skittering drums adds a final note of anxiety and near panic to the simmering calm that makes up the rest of the song. Unfortunately, most people won’t get to the end because the calm will have put them to sleep long before. Fiona wants to be a serious artist and avoid melodrama and gaudy vocal displays, but sometimes there’s such a thing as too much austerity.

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Blake Shelton Would Like to Buy You a Drink
Hot 100 Roundup—2/11/12

Tuesday, February 21st, 2012

Blake Shelton—“Drink On It”
#81
The expected reaction to this play-by-play of a successful seduction, from first drink to slurred acquiescence, is no doubt a knowing chuckle on the part of men, and a sighing, “I wish it was me” from women. I find it a little offensive myself, but since this is a world that only exists in the minds of country songwriters I’ll let it go for now. I’m surprised it’s so blatant, though. Shelton doesn’t seem capable of subtlety, and though this is more low key than most of his records, it’s hard to believe he’d get far with such an obvious line. Confidence conquers all, I guess.

LMFAO—“Sorry For Party Rocking”
#92
With every record the comedy and satire becomes more obvious, and though it runs out of gas about two thirds of the way through, I’m willing to write this one up as another winner. They’re like Das Racist for frat boys, which isn’t a bad thing at all.

Diggy featuring Jeremih—“Do It Like You”
#99
There’s some real talent buried under here somewhere. Jeremih, whose hook manages to rise out of the confusion often enough to make an impression, definitely has something going. Diggy, however, tries too hard. He approaches this attempted seduction from so many angles that it’s hard to tell if he really means it or is just playing games. The production, which is all over the place and never quite meets up with the vocalists, doesn’t help.

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100 Roundup—2/4/12

Friday, February 17th, 2012

Glee Cast
“Without You”, #28
“We Found Love”, #56
“Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin’ Jack Flash”, #62
“The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face”, #70
“Summer Nights”, #88

Tyga—“Faded”
#52
Dirty, dirty boys with lots of dirty thoughts, but not much imagination. Lil Wayne gets off some decent puns, including a bizarre non sequitur that cleverly drags Richard Pryor into the scenario, but Tyga is all flow and no brains.

Mary J. Blige featuing Drake—“Mr. Wrong”
#98
Blige is in as good of voice as ever, and Drake makes sure he doesn’t get in the way as he castigates himself for working too hard, but this is only ordinary even at its most adventurous (i.e. a breakdown that tries to be a slow, soulful version of dubstep—it doesn’t quite work). I don’t think Blige feels this kind of song anymore; her life is too good to be able to access that sort of drama.

George Strait—“Love’s Gonna Make It Alright”
#99
This is Strait on autopilot. Not terrible, but nothing special.

Jay-Z and Kanye West featuring Frank Ocean—“No Church in the Wild”
#100
The opening cut of Watch the Throne, and one of the best, this lays out the basic theme of the album with one of the most daring and intellectual rap brags I’ve ever heard, using Plato’s allegory of the cave to suggest that West and Jay-Z live in a place without illusion (unlike the rest of us suckers), where the only law is that of talent, power, and wealth, and the normal rules of morality don’t apply—desire, and the means to fulfill that desire, are all that matters. West’s reference is oblique (“Human beings in a mine”) and hard to sort out at first, but Jay-Z directly name-checks Socrates and Plato. The obvious suggestion is that the two of them are somewhere beyond the common lot of humanity; not quite gods, but powerful enough that they can ignore whatever gods may exist, or choose not to believe in them at all. And here I used to think Scarface references were grandiose.

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Hot 100 Roundup—1/28/12

Monday, February 13th, 2012

Train—“Drive By”
#60
There are lots of reasons why I should like Train. Their songs are bouncy and catchy, well-crafted, and even demonstrate some intelligence. Their lyrics, though never great, are generally free of cliché, and have an offhand quality that suggests they don’t take themselves too seriously. Serious or not, however, they still think very highly of themselves, and their sense of superiority and smugness, combined with a complete lack of depth, guarantees that their records will irritate the hell out of me every time. They’re like The Eagles without pretensions, but guess what? That doesn’t make them any better. This record has everything in it that has made them successful, and everything that makes them awful. Did they really think they could get away with that image of their love packed into a garbage bag? Did they think it was cute? For Train, acting like you’re clever is the same thing as being clever, which is just one of the many things they’re wrong about.

Van Halen—“Tattoo”
#67
David Lee Roth has always been the one thing that made Van Halen interesting. Not just for his own lunacy (who else would end a nonsense song about tattoos with a shout out to labor unions?), but for his ability to force the band to play up to it, thereby pulling them out of the sinkhole of hair-metal cliché. Without him they’re just another band with an above-average guitarist (Sammy Hagar is crazy, too, but he’s professionally crazy—he considers it part of his job—whereas Roth is the real thing). This record is a mess, but it’s a joyful mess, as if they couldn’t resist the urge to pack every nutty idea and hook they could think of into it. Not great, but boy do they sound like they’re enjoying themselves.

Snow Patrol—“Called Out In the Dark”
#78
I know Snow Patrol has earned a lot of respect from people with decent taste, but I’ve never heard a reason for it myself, and I hear it even less in this forgettable record. The song may have something to do with the Occupy movement, but the band is either too subtle, or too inexact, to make that clear. It’s U2 meets Radiohead, without the focus of either.

The Wanted—“Glad You Came”
#85
An earworm and a half, with a blatantly obvious double-entendre title hook designed to make the tweenies giggle between ecstatic screams. Already a smash in Britain (one of five top five singles for the band), there are a few clever moments slipped into the dance-pop clichés. I like the verse where each line starts with the last word of the line before it, and overall it isn’t cloying or bland. A perfect record for those who find Taio Cruz or Rihanna a little too hard.

Lana Del Rey—“Video Games”
#91
I wish more of the voluminous commentary on Lana Del Rey focused on what this song is about, because I could use a clue. The general landscape is clear enough: he’s a rebel, he’s the leader of the pack, he’s Johnny Sunshine, she’s never loved a man the way she loves him, etc. The difference is he’s a complete cypher, perhaps by intent, so distant and disinterested that no matter how she throws herself at him—begging, teasing, cajoling, purring—he never reacts. Finally, she decides, or pretends, that she’s won him over anyway, and all is self-deluding bliss. That’s how I read it, anyway. At least that’s the best reason I can come up with for the constant shifts in vocal approach and timbre, and the song’s air of quiet, romantic desperation. That’s giving Del Rey the benefit of the doubt (actually, more than that, it makes her sound like a genius), when it’s possible that the record is a lucky shambles, something that fell together by chance (best previous example: Counting Crows’s “Mr. Jones”). Guess I’ll find out when I listen to the album.

Foster the People—“Don’t Stop (Color On the Walls)”
#97
Born one-hit wonders, I never expected to hear from these guys again. I’m still not sure I have.

MGK featuring Waka Flocka Flame—“Wild Boy”
#98
More a shouting contest than a rap record, and an unfair one, too, because no one outshouts Waka Flocka Flame, except maybe Lil Jon, who isn’t here. I wish he was; he might add some life to this generic hunk of blah.

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Hot 100 Roundup—1/21/12

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

Jason Mraz—“I Won’t Give Up”
#8
Being the minor talent that he is, I expected Mraz to play it safe with a snappy sound-alike to “I’m Yours” for his next single, but it seems his talent is so minor he doesn’t realize where his best interests lie. This is super-serious, packed thick with sincere clichés that appear to have been lifted at random from self-help books. Each verse ends either with an affirmation or a “deep” question: “I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not, and who I am”; “God knows we’re worth it”; and my favorite, “How old is your soul?” These seem to have no connection to the lines that precede them, or a connection so vague that only those well versed in the jargon could understand them. I’m not sure that group includes Mraz. Just to give him the benefit of the doubt, I’d like to think this is intended as parody, but the music suggests otherwise. Which means that Mraz probably isn’t even a minor talent. He is a cad, though. That I know for sure.

Skrillex featuring Sirah—“Kyoto”
#74
Skrillex is polishing and improving his sound with every record. “Kyoto” adds a guest rap, but otherwise uses the same basic formula as his previous singles: establish a familiar groove with a hyped, bass heavy mix, stop dead with a scream of urgent exclamation, followed by a needle drop and all hell breaking loose, repeat, then end on the original groove. The big difference here is that the shifts are less dramatic, the change in style almost seamless (the fact that he’s working with hip-hop rhythms may have something to do with that). Whatever you may think of him, he’s a talent, and he isn’t stupid, his music is growing and developing. How far that development goes is another question: the clichéd “Japanese” melody here suggests that his musical sensibilities, however broad they may be, aren’t very deep.

3OH!3—“Set You Free”
#84
Another couple of minor talents who aren’t as smart as they think they are. I’m not saying that electro-clash can’t be used to transmit a “serious” message, but it does tend to take the “clash” out of it, which means it’s missing all the fun and most of reason for its existence. I like the line “I don’t live in bed no more”, but otherwise this is boring, pretentious, and self-pitying. They don’t even sound like themselves, they sound like Weezer fans with sequencers. Ke$ha should heed the warning: this is where taking yourself seriously gets you.

Gotye featuring Kimbra—“Somebody That I Used to Know”
#91
Imported from Belgium, this sounds like it could become the sort of sleeper hit that “Pumped Up Kicks” was, only without the pretentious seriousness. The mid-sixties Latin groove (courtesy of Luiz Bonfa’s “Seville”) gives it the feel of a Nancy Sinatra-Lee Hazlewood track, minus the camp value of Hazlewood’s singing. And the woman’s part, which starts with the best line in the song, “Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over”, carries echoes of Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me”. In other words, this contains references to enough pop landmarks, without any of them being obvious on first listen, to make it sound both familiar and out of the ordinary.

Montgomery Gentry—“Where I Come From”
#94
For the most part, I don’t mind country songs praising small town life—two of my favorite records of the last few years are Miranda Lambert’s “Famous In a Small Town” and Ashton Shepard’s “More Cows Than People”—but this is so aggressive, and so defensive, that it comes close to a kind or rural fascism. Their examples of small town life are bizarre, especially the lines about two guys fighting in a parking lot: “Nobody’s gonna call the cops”. So that’s what’s wrong with big cities; it’s not that people fight in the streets, it’s that people insist on summoning the authorities when they do. Better yet is the old man sitting on the porch who can “buy your fancy car with hundred dollar bills”. What is he, a rapper? A meth dealer? Whatever the case, I bet he drives an old beat-up pickup truck covered in mud when he takes his mother to church on Sunday morning. They always do.

Jay-Z Kanye West—“Gotta Have It”
#98
Is this actually being promoted as a single? If it is, it’s an odd choice. For starters, it isn’t even two and a half minutes long, which means it won’t fit on any existing radio formats. Second, though the James Brown sample provides a great hook, it isn’t up there with “Niggas In Paris” in sing- or hum-along terms. It does, however, continue in a more obvious way the theme of racial politics and black history that “Niggas” snuck in between the lines. Have they got some kind of thematic singles campaign going that they’re not telling anyone about? Or are they just being eccentric?

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Hot 100 Roundup–1/14/12

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

Nelly—“The Champ”
#64
Written to order for ESPN, and it sounds like it, though it’s not that bad. Nelly is an expert at mixing genres (he did feature Tim McGraw on a record once, after all), and this has a pleasant pop lilt with slight indie touches over the hip-hop rhythms and synth squiggles. It’s soft for a football song, but then its intent is more uplift than fist pumping. And the joke about waving to his mom on TV is perfect.

B.o.B. featuring Andre 3000—“Play the Guitar”
#98
More decent rapping from B.o.B., but the real stars here are Andre 3000 and Bo Diddley. Diddley, of course, provides the beat (and snags two songwriting credits in the process, one as Bo Diddley, the other under his real name, Elias McDaniel—did he think that would make him twice as much in royalties?). Andre, meanwhile, delivers a rap that starts on top of a Church’s Chicken, swings over to Europe, encourages kids to take up an instrument and eat their vegetables, and ends with him strumming in a practice room, defending his musical approach (“Do you cry in tune, nigger?”). Not a great record overall, but Andre’s rap is a keeper. Where’s that Outkast record?

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Hot 100 Roundup—1/7/12

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

Taylor Swift featuring The Civil Wars—“Safe and Sound”
#30
It’s time, I suppose, for Taylor Swift to tweak her sound, but working with T-Bone Burnett—the man who has ruined more good performers than just about any producer I can think of—wasn’t the direction I was hoping for. This isn’t bad, but it’s just an average alt-folk ballad, a genre placement that should scare anyone who cares about Swift’s career. This is a soundtrack cut, so it may not mean much in terms of Swift’s future direction, but it’s worrying all the same. Even at her worst she’s never sounded so ordinary.

Flo Rida featuring Sia—“Wild Ones”
#57
Why did I never notice that Flo Rida has a lisp? No wonder he raps so fast. As for Sia, she seems willing to degrade herself in any way—first David Guetta, now this—if it means becoming the third-rate Robyn she’s always been destined to be.

Young Jeezy featuring Jay-Z & Andre 3000—“I Do”
#61
Not a great track; no one is in top form, but the difference in approach is interesting. Jeezy holds out the promise of marriage, but it’s just a ploy, because all he really wants is to get laid. Jay-Z, needless to say, takes the subject more seriously, maybe too seriously; he sounds as if he were holding himself back, trying to fictionalize his own situation to make it seem more gangsta. Andre 3000, meanwhile, is semi-serious but sounds like he’s still having fun, even while planning yet more headaches for poor Ms. Jackson.

Skrillex—“Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites”
#69
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 8/20/11

Adam Lambert—“Better Than I Know Myself”
#76
Lambert has real talent, but this is a mess. Not only is the arrangement ridiculous, but when he isn’t hitting impressive high notes Lambert’s voice sounds thin and out of place. He loves flash, but he doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself when he’s closer to the ground. And songs that are all flash are hard to come by.

Nicki Minaj—“Stupid Hoe”
#81
A dis track designed to allow Minaj to show off as many of her voices as possible. It’s impressive, if not quite enjoyable, or even coherent. One question: if this is directed at Lil Kim, why does Minaj do a Rihanna impersonation (which finishes with a horrible flat note) near the end? Is there a separate target for each voice? That would be impressive.

Mac Miller—“Knock Knock”
#88
Miller is an average rapper at best—when he talks about being deeper than the water Michael Phelps is in, he does realize that’s only about eight feet, right? But he has the one gift that all party rappers need: he knows how to put a hook together, and to make it unusual enough to get people’s attention in the first place. In other words, he’s an earworm menace. If he ever managed to get on the radio—for now his records are too quirky and filled with obscenities to qualify—he could be dangerous.

V.I.C.—“Wobble”
#94
This is the sort of bubbly pop-rap I’m a sucker for, but it’s so mechanical it wears quickly, and instead of emphasizing the rhythms as it goes on it seems to downplay them, a mistake on any record that has nothing much to say lyrically. I enjoy its lack of pretension, but it’s still a miss.

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