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Sports Cars and Jesus: Hot 100 Roundup—3/9/13

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Nelly—“Hey Porsche”
#42

This is hilarious. Nelly has always experimented with mixing different genres into his-hop, but over the last few years, as his pop success has faded, he’s started to sound desperate. On “Hey Porsche” he dredges up the old idea of comparing a car to a woman (or vice-versa) mixes in some touches of EDM, tosses a “nigga” or two into the lyric to maintain his cred, and, most inexplicably, copies the riff from “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”. And after all that effort, what does he end up with? A hip-hop version of Train. Maybe he should try something else.

AfroJack featuring Chris Brown—“As Your Friend”
#88

Though it rarely gets mentioned, for obvious reasons, Chris Brown has done as much, if not more, to bring EDM into hip-hop as anybody. Whatever his other flaws, musical or personal, he knows how to pick beats. His biggest problem is that he often doesn’t know what to do with them, penning cliche lyrics around banal, or non-existent, melody lines. On “As Your Friend”, though there still isn’t much of a tune, the lyrics are better, and Brown intentionally plays down as low as he can. He also manages to avoids the defiant self-pity that makes him so easy to hate. He sounds resigned, almost repentant, which is a big change for him. As for the beat, it’s pop on the insane, dubstep side of the EDM spectrum, and far better than anything David Guetta or Calvin Harris have come up with recently. “As Your Friend” isn’t great, by any means, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Emeli Sande—“Next To Me”
#89

Those overpowering drums owe an obvious debt to Adele, but Sande takes them back to their source, the driving martial rhythms of gospel (you didn’t think “Next To Me” was about a lover, did you?). Also like Adele, Sande has the ability to get loud without ever sounding shrill or losing her emotional connection to the song; she can go places other singers wouldn’t dare. I have some doubts about the lyrics, especially the paraphrase of Kipling at the end, but a record this powerful almost defies criticism.

Eric Church—“Like Jesus Does”
#99

Church is so good at what he does that he almost pulls this off. Though I appreciate his refusal to turn this into a power-ballad, which is what 90% of country singers would have done, it gets stolid by the end, and the lack of rhythmic and melodic variety becomes wearing. His metaphors don’t always gel, either. Is a Waylon Jennings song more sinful if it’s on vinyl as opposed to CD or MP3? How would that work, exactly? Church must think it means something, because he repeats it at the end, but all I get from it is that it’s a way of establishing his country traditionalist bona fides without dragging his truck into the song. This is a good thing, but it doesn’t quite work.

Future featuring Lil Wayne—“Karate Chop (Remix)”
#100

It’s a feeling that’s been coming over me for the last couple of months, and now it’s taken an unshakable hold, no matter how I try to ignore it: I dread the idea of listening to Lil Wayne. He has become the worst part of almost every record he appears on (including his own). Here, after being provided a near-perfect lead-in by Future, he half-assedly replicates the flow Future has established, then tosses it aside like something that’s beneath him and proceeds to delivers a few bars of rote misogyny before giving up completely. He’s more than the worst thing on “Karate Chop”; he pretty much ruins it. To compound my despair, last week Kanye West called a radio station to announce that, whatever MTV may say, Wayne is the greatest MC in the game. Which only makes me fear that the two most dominant rappers of the last decade have both lost their minds.

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Shake It Up: Hot 100 Roundup—3/2/13

Tuesday, February 26th, 2013

The big news this week, of course, is the addition of YouTube streams to the formula Billboard uses to create the Hot 100. The new system propels “Harlem Shake” to number one (the first time a previously unknown artist has debuted in the top spot), and causes a lot of movement in other areas of the chart as well. Rihanna’s “Stay”, for instance, thanks to an appearance on the Grammy awards and a video in which Rihanna is naked in a bath tub, leaps 60-some spots into the top ten, and songs like “Gangnam Style” get a a new lease on life just as they were about to drop off the chart.

Overall, I think it’s a good idea. YouTube is a far better gauge of popularity than radio, and though the system is ripe with opportunities for abuse, it’s no more ripe that the pre-Soundscan days. We can look forward to a few years of constant novelty hits until the culture adjusts (as it will), but that doesn’t seem too great a price to pay for more accuracy. Besides, some of those novelties will be great.

Baauer—“Harlem Shake”
#1

The most important thing to remember about “Harlem Shake”, the track, as opposed to the Harlem Shake phenomenon or the Harlem Shake controversy, is that it isn’t finished. This is a backing track, a beat designed for someone to rap over (Azealia Banks had her contribution rejected by Baauer, but the freestyle versions are starting to roll out). This is obvious from the huge open spaces in the record, and the way the track drops in volume in the places where the vocals would go. It’s not meant to be listened to on its own, and its sudden discovery and viral infestation of the culture has more to do with luck and the desire of people to be silly than anything else. Even considered only as a beat, though, it isn’t much, though it’s good enough that the right rapper could make something worthwhile out of it. Of course, it’s too late for that; we’re stuck with it the way it is.

Justin Timberlake—“Mirrors”
#24

“Suit & Tie” has its great moments, but it’s a mess. As a follow-up, “Mirrors” is less of a mess, but it doesn’t have any great moments. What it has, instead, are bits and pieces of 80s pop and soul loosely strung together and stretched out for over 8 minutes of head-scratching mediocrity. It’s meant to be a love song, but the lyrics, and the way Timberlake sings them, create an odd sense of distance from the subject. When Timberlake says he couldn’t have gotten “bigger” without her, what exactly is he referring to? His career? His soul? The length of this song? At the same time, while she’s reflecting him, and he’s reflecting her, they’re both being reflected by a third mirror, which Timberlake says he could watch all the time (I thought he was watching her). Who or what does this mirror represent? God? The press? Timberlake’s third eye? One final question: if your lover reflects you back so perfectly, are you actually seeing her at all?

One Direction—“One Way Or Another (Teenage Kicks)”
#45

I’ve mentioned One Direction’s rock tendencies in the past, and on this charity single they live up to them more wonderfully than I would have dared hope. They smartly play both songs for maximum aural impact, i.e. fast, hard, and loud, and don’t make any attempts to modernize or decorate them. I’m sure it’s something they dashed off in a couple of hours, but that’s a large part of its charm. Also, though this wouldn’t be as big a deal in the U.K. or Ireland, where “Teenage Kicks” was a big hit, it’s nice to know that somebody still remembers the Undertones.

Ace Hood featuring Future & Rick Ross—“Bugatti”
#77

This is fairly ordinary, as might be expected, but I find myself fascinated by the title line, “I woke up in a new Bugatti”, if only because of the mystery it creates. Hood never explains where that Bugatti came from. Since he woke up in it, I assume it’s his, either through purchase or purloinment (most likely purchase, because who would bother to brag about stealing a car anymore?). The question is whether he even remembers how he got it. If he fell asleep in the car, that suggests he was pretty much wasted when he got in. Did he buy it when he was stoned or during a blackout? If so, has Hood achieved what might be considered a higher level of boasting? If he has so much money he can buy a car that costs over a million dollars when he’s wasted and not worry about it, his bragging rights would be somewhere in the astronomical range. $6,000 shoes are nothing compared to this.

P!nk featuring Nate Reuss—“Just Give Me A Reason”
#84

P!nk’s permanently exasperated view of herself and her relationships mesh perfectly with Nate Reuss’s feigned confidence tinged with desperation, making “Just Give Me A Reason” an effective and affecting duet even if the lyrics don’t always connect. Still not sure whether the situation is resolved or left hanging, though that may be the point. Realest moment: when Reuss sings “My dear [addressing her this way, of course, is a sure sign that he has no idea what she’s talking about], we still have everything, and it’s all in your mind”, and P!nk replies in an undertone, “Yeah, but this is happening”.

J. Cole featuring Miguel—“Power Trip”
#91

I’ve never heard anything from Cole that wasn’t mediocre, and here’s another one. Even Miguel’s presence doesn’t help, though it doesn’t hurt.

Joe Budden featuring Lil Wayne & Tank—“She Don’t Put It Down”
#96

This has charted, I assume, on Lil Wayne’s presence, because Budden himself is so negligible I find it hard to imagine anyone would buy one of his records for him alone. Of course, Wayne hasn’t been that much better than Budden lately, and he doesn’t do anything to recover his standing here. He is easier to understand than Budden, but given what he’s saying, that’s not much of an improvement.

Krewella—“Alive”
#99

One disadvantage to the rapid embrace of EDM by just about everybody is that it has driven a lot of the minor artists who first brought the sound to the charts onto the sidelines (anybody else remember Cascada?). So it’s something of a pleasant surprise to see someone totally new make the charts on the formula. Not a great record, maybe not even a good one, but simpler and less aggressive than a lot of the big name EDM attempts, and hence a more enjoyable listen. I don’t expect to hear from Krewella ever again, but that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy them while they’re here.

Alabama Shakes—“Hold On”
#100

I wish this was better, I really do. I like to see people with legitimate musical sensibilities succeed, even if they can easily be lumped in with pretentious hacks like The Black Keys or Mumford & Sons. Brittany Howard has a voice, but she has a tendency to play up the worst sort of pseudo-blues phrasing. She often gets it just right, but too often she sounds like she’s either faking it or trying too hard. It would help if she had a more finished song to work with; this one sounds like a rough sketch. And though it’s no surprise that Howard’s vocals are sometimes reminiscent of Janis Joplin, the band’s application of the same earnest semi-competence as Big Brother may be carrying the idea of honoring your influences a little too far.

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The Highway Don’t Care, But My Songs Do: Hot 100 Roundup—2/23/13

Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

Fall Out Boy—“My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light Em Up)”
#26

I’ve never been a fan of Fall Out Boy. Their songs, their playing, and their ideas always seemed muddled to me, and when you combined those with their obvious ambition and self-absorption you got a lot of pretentious mess. I was glad when they decided to go on hiatus (from which I assumed they wouldn’t return), because I could only see them getting worse if they carried on. But now they’re back, and the time off has obviously been good for them, because their comeback single is focused, imaginative, and even comes close to making sense (at least to me; I’m sure it makes perfect sense to them). Naturally enough, the song is at least partially about their time off. At least, I assume that’s what the “dark” of the title partly refers to (these guys love puns and multiple meanings). The best stroke is in the title itself, the idea of a songwriter being informed of mysterious goings on (by who or in what context we’re never told) by the songs he writes. It reveals songwriting as a kind of self-telepathy along the lines of Norman Mailer’s famous statement “I don’t know what I think until I write it down” (and yes, I had no idea what the song was about until I started writing this). These guys have obviously stored up enough anger to drive their songs without a lot of fancy ideas, but it’s good to hear them thinking. It’s even better to hear that thought making it’s way into the music instead of confusing it.

Lady Antebellum—“Downtown”
#45

After the run of mediocre singles that followed the wonderful “Need You Now” (there were seven of them, in case you’re counting), I figured Lady Antebellum for one of those groups who have one great song in them, and then repeat the formula for as long as it takes for the magic to wear off and they disappear from view. But “Downtown” is a surprise in every way, a slice of stripped-down country funk that’s the polar opposite of “Need You Now” and just about everything else in mainstream country. It does have one predecessor: “Pontoon”, and I would be surprised if Little Big Town’s hit wasn’t a strong influence on this one. “Downtown” isn’t as sultry, but it’s funkier, and if the song and arrangement aren’t enough of a surprise, the guitar break sure is. The first great country single of the year, and it’s going to be a hard one to top.

Rihanna featuring Mikky Ekko—“Stay”
#57

Adele having opened the door with “Someone Like You”, we’re starting to see a rise in piano-only (or near-piano-only in this case) ballads. Bruno Mars has one (and a good one, too) in the top ten, and now there’s “Stay”. I was impressed at first: the song moves nicely and shifts in ways that keep your attention, and Rihanna’s voice is looser and comes closer to real emotion than she ever has before. But then you have to deal with Mikky Ekko (ugh, what a name), and his “Ed Sheeran wasn’t available so they sent me” vocal. Ekko gets the entire second verse to himself and sinks the record. At at her most mechanistic, at least Rihanna has a voice that keeps your attention. Ekko couldn’t get you to notice him even if he was singing to you in an elevator—you’d mistake him for muzak. There are a lot of guest vocals and raps on Unapologetic, along with dance tracks with not much in the way of lyrics. This is Rihanna’s way, I suppose, of giving herself a break while making sure she doesn’t drop out of public view for more than 25 minutes. I don’t blame her, but if she’s going to do that she needs to find better singers.

Tim McGraw & Taylor Swift—“Highway Don’t Care”
#59

Tim McGraw may be the most overrated country star of the last fifteen years. He’s got a voice, but he uses it for nothing but the usual country sentiment. He’s willing to experiment with sounds and styles, but he always lands in roughly the same place, and those experiments never extend to the ideas or the themes of the songs themselves. He generates a lot of buzz at times, but no heat. On “Highway Don’t Care” he teams up with Taylor Swift, who has already done her part to canonize him, and though neither one of them had a hand in writing the song, it may as well have both their fingerprints on it. Which means it leads nowhere new. Even worse, it takes its sweet time not getting there. The only revelation comes when Swift takes the part of the generic love song playing on the radio: if ever there was proof that it’s her voice as well as her songwriting talents that have made her such a star, this is it. She makes those banal words come alive. Too bad McGraw can’t do the same.

Drake—“Started From the Bottom”
#63

“Started From the Bottom” is more a teaser for the new album than a legitimate single, but I’m impressed by the beat, and by Drake’s switching up of voices. Whatever you may think of him overall, there’s no doubt that he’s improved as a rapper. As for the lyrics, I assume that he means that he and his crew started out from the bottom of the rap game, not life itself. I’m willing to concede that point; how many people would take any teen actor—especially a Canadian one—seriously if he suddenly announced he intended to become a serious rapper? But that doesn’t mean he needs to devote every track to complaining about it.

Kenney Chesney—“Pirate Flag”
#68

Chesney is coming off a string of above-average singles, but this is the fourth single off Welcome To the Fishbowl, and the inspiration doesn’t run quite as deep this time around. Certainly not deep enough to float his pirate ship.

Young Jeezy featuring 2 Chainz—“R.I.P.”
#69

Is he talking about his career? Not yet, I guess.

Chris Young—“I Can Take It From There”
#97

For assembly-line made country slap and tickle, not bad. But I’d have less doubt about his lust if Young didn’t use so many pre-formed parts to put it across.

Wale featuring Tiara Thomas—“Bad”
#99

This is the first time a Wale record has gotten my attention since he teamed up with Lady Gaga on “Chillin’” nearly four years ago. Once again it’s the woman who makes the track worth hearing. When Tiara Thomas announces that she’s never made love but she sure knows how to fuck, the record is essentially over, at least as far as Wale is concerned. Who pays attention to anything else after that? Thomas also outs herself as a cheater who’s guaranteed to break Wale’s heart, which I guess makes her whatever definition of the recently controversial term “bad bitch” you care to apply. The word “bad” applies to Wale, too, but in only one way that I can think of.

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The Year Starts Here: Hot 100 Roundup—2/16/13

Friday, February 15th, 2013

At last, a great record makes an appearance, and I’ll try not to let the fact that’s it’s almost a year old bias me against 2013 (besides, there’s more great, newer stuff coming up next week). “I Love It” may be a freak as far as current pop is concerned, but it’s the kind of freak that could mean something down the line. Here’s hoping it hangs on for a while.

Justin Bieber
“Nothing Like Us”, #59
“As Long As You Love Me ( Acoustic)”, #98

Just as some critics (meaning me) we’re starting to accord Bieber a level of respect he at least partly deserves, he delivers a blatant cash-in in the form of an acoustic version of Believe and blows up any possibility of taking him seriously. I have no doubt this is exactly what Bieber’s core fan base was looking for, and I don’t entirely blame him for taking advantage of them by giving them what they want. The problem is that an acoustic setting, especially one designed to genuflect to his audience, emphasizes Bieber’s worst instincts. His singing is all sentiment and sham emotion, and his careful phrasing, which was becoming one of his greatest strengths, is thrown out along with the original arrangements. The lowest point is the track that’s the most popular. “Nothing Like Us”, the one new song on the album, seems designed to do nothing more than feed speculation about Bieber’s relationship with Selena Gomez. Bieber throws every bad lesson he’s learned about singing at it, and the result is worse than terrible, it’s disgusting.

The Lonely Island featuring Adam Levine and Kendrick Lamar—“YOLO”
#60

As an idea, and an old one at that, “you only live once” is no more worthy of attention than any other variation on carpe diem. As a hashtag, though, as justification for any and all levels of entitlement and stupidity, it’s a menace, and deserves all the satire and derision that comes its way. The problem with “Yolo” is that by stressing the opposite extreme it tacitly endorses the worst possible definition of the meme. It’s a parody of entitlement for the entitled. Also, it isn’t funny. Hearing Kendrick Lamar give financial advice is good for a brief chuckle, but the effect has faded away by the time he finishes his bars (it’s the only time he’s ever bored me). The song does reveal one important truth, however, if only by association: Adam Levine is the Michael Bolton of his era (i.e. uptempo and with an r&b beat). Why didn’t I realize this before?

Icona Pop featuring Charli XCX—“I Love It”
#69

One of the best singles of 2012 becomes the first great record to make the Hot 100 in 2013, and I could care less if the nation had to be exposed to the sight of Lena Dunham bouncing up and down and singing along to make it happen. “I Love It” touches on a level of anger that Girls (at least the episodes I’ve seen) has never approached. It blows a hole through the rest of the charts in a way few records ever have, not just in terms of attitude but of sound as well. It won’t last, because unless this bump in sales continues (it’s already dropped fourteen places since its debut) radio won’t touch it. My only hope is that it opens the door for Charli XCX, whose “You’re the One” was my favorite single of last year. Whatever the case, I haven’t been so happy and surprised about a record making the chart since M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes”.

Glee Cast—“Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)”
#91

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
“Can’t Hold Us” (featuring Ray Dalton), #97
“Same Love” (featuring Mary Lambert), #99

At last, rap music that guilty white liberals can love. Academics, too. An entire career could be built sorting out the psychology of a rapper/producer duo that works from an exclusively white perspective but feels the need to bring in black singers to deliver the hooks. Are they simply recognizing their own limitations, or is that their idea of authenticity? Or could it be an acknowledgment of the debt they owe black music? Or a spreading of the wealth to assuage their own sense of guilt? Whatever the case, at its best its an obvious ploy, at its worst condescending as hell. Macklemore and Lewis do perform one public service, though: they render the existence of Asher Roth and Mac Miller superfluous. I wonder who’ll do the same for them next year.

Rihanna featuring Future—“Loveeeeeee Song”
#100

Rihanna’s name comes first, but “Loveeeeeee Song” is Future’s record. He not only guests on it but produced, and whether he wrote it with Rihanna in mind or just gave her something he was working on, it was a wise decision. Rihanna has been loosening up as a vocalist but retains a mechanical quality that makes her a perfect foil for Future’s auto-tuned, over the top emotionalism. At the same time, giving “Loveeeeeee Song” to Rihanna allows Future to drop the street rapper facade that generates the most clichéd moments on his own records and indulge his romantic instincts. In the end, the credits don’t matter: this is a high point for both of them.

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Middling Ground: Hot 100 Roundup—2/9/13

Thursday, February 7th, 2013

One of those weeks where nothing is great, but nothing is horrible, either. That doesn’t mean it’s all mediocre, just that the good stuff is rarely more than that, and the bad stuff doesn’t make you feel nauseous. It all congregates near the middle of the probability curve, just the way it’s supposed to. It’s not exciting, but it’s the way it is.

Tyga featuring Rick Ross—“Dope”
#68

There are so many excellent beats out there, and so few excellent rappers. Tyga is fine, though he relies on crudity more than he needs to and references too many other rappers to make himself look cool. Rick Ross just sounds tired. Which leaves us with that ominous beat. It’s a great beat, to be sure, but I don’t think it’s enough.

Miranda Lambert—“Mama’s Broken Heart”
#89

One of the best tracks from 4 the Record, with an intro that, surprisingly, brings the sound of dub, or at least the punk rock version, into country. Co-written by Kacey Musgraves (“Merry Go-Round”) and a couple of other people who aren’t Lambert but are following her blueprint, “Mama’s Broken Heart” is good, but it’s not Lambert-level good. If she’s going to set up her own songwriting workshop to provide her with material Lambert couldn’t do better than Musgraves, but it’s still going to sound secondhand if all her writers do is copy what she’s done before. Lambert’s found her sound and now, aside from the Pistol Annies, she’s playing it safe. She’d be better off stepping a little further afield.

Kid Ink featuring Meek Mill & Wale—“Bad Ass”
#90

The beat is insane, but only Meek Mill makes the most of it, with a rap that, rhythmically at least, is almost as crazy. Wale, as usual, sounds lost. As for Kid Ink, I assume he got his name from his tattoos, not his writing skills. I’d love to hear some better rappers freestyle over this, though.

Florida Georgia Line—“Get Your Shine On”
#96

“Cruise”, which is still in the top forty, has a rough energy that wipes away its weaknesses and clichés. This is smoother, less energetic, and all cliché. I hope they’ll be able to figure out why this won’t be as big a hit as “Cruise”, but I wouldn’t count on it. That kind of thing rarely happens on purpose, and is generally impossible to recreate.

Chris Cagle—“Let There Be Cowgirls”
#97

I like the conceit of this, especially the detail of the angels demanding God make cowgirls and that they be “strong as any man”, but it’s really just an excuse for Cagle to turn up the mediocre hair metal. The result, witty though it sometimes is, is sludgy and dull by the end. It has its moments, like the whistle that interrupts the final riff, but those aren’t enough to save it. And the second verse makes it sound like Cagle could have another career writing Harlequin Romances.

Pitbull featuring Christina Aguilera—“Feel This Moment”
#99

Pitbull not only isn’t ashamed of his commercial aspirations and how foolish he’s willing to act to achieve them, he’s proud. It’s taken him a long time to learn how to build a record that will appeal to every possible fan base, and he intends to take advantage of that knowledge, even if it means lifting one of the most recognizable and obvious hooks of the last thirty years to do it. His last three singles have seemed random in approach, but who knows, maybe there’s some strange plan behind them. So far he’s sampled Mickey and Sylvia, Toots and the Maytals, and now a-ha. How many different demographics can you capture that way? Is Glenn Miller next? Plan or not, though, it doesn’t seem to be working. None of Pitbull’s recent singles has made top ten, and the latest debuting at 99 isn’t a hopeful sign. Maybe that’s why Christina Aguilera’s chorus is about death. Talk about covering all your demographic bases.

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Early Rounds: Hot 100 Roundup—2/2/13

Tuesday, February 5th, 2013

Something of a blah week, which is probably why it took me so long to get around to it (my apologies). It has, in fact, been a very slow year so far, even though there have been more records entering the chart than your average January, and one of them was from Justin Timberlake. I thought it was going to be a weird year, but now I’m beginning to wonder. So far it’s been tepid. I’m starting to get the feeling that in the future we’ll look back at 2012 as a year full of promise and then wonder what the hell happened in 2013. It’s still early, though, and that’s just a hunch. No predictions yet.

Lil Wayne featuring Drake & Future—“Love Me”
#53

Mike Will Made-It is the hottest producer in rap right now, and the beat here helps to make Lil Wayne sound alive for the first time in months. Doesn’t sound like he’s thinking much, though: his raps on “Love Me” consist of one tired, unfunny sex joke after another, usually with a bad pun attached, and as you might expect he sinks into misogyny before he’s finished. Future provides the hook, and it’s a good one—wish they’d let him rap on it, too.

A$AP Rocky
“Wild For the Night” (featuring Skrillex & Birdy Nam Nam), #82
“Long Live A$AP”, #86

As much as I like the idea behind the A$AP crew—breaking down regional barriers and mixing and matching styles—the reality doesn’t yet live up to the hype. The Skrillex-produced “Wild for the Night” has a great vocal hook, and the chorus moves with a propulsion that’s rare in rap, but the repetitive synth squiggles are weak and corny, and they get worse as the track goes on. As for “Long Live A$AP”, all it proves to me is that the crew has been listening to Frank Ocean (the falsetto chorus is even built around the same word as the chorus of “Thinkin’ ‘Bout You”: “forever”). But everybody’s doing that, and this sounds more like cash-in than homage. Rocky raps well on both tracks, but doesn’t have anything special to say. A$AP has got a promising concept, but they may need a genius to pull it off, and I’m not hearing one on these records.

Olly Murs featuring Flo Rida—“Troublemaker”
#87

“Troublemaker” is as readymade as they come, but it works. I hated Murs’s last single, which was so generic and soft focus it barely registered, but this is catchy and bouncy, with just enough personality to stick in your head. Flo Rida, who knows better than anyone how to jump start a hook, adds a little edge to the proceedings; it’s one of the few cases where a rap improves a record rather than making it worse.

Darius Rucker—“Wagon Wheel”
#96

“Wagon Wheel”, which has been bouncing around Nashville for years, isn’t a great song, but it deserves better than this. Rucker’s only appeal is the gruff but friendly quality of his voice; he seems incapable of expressing emotion, or of knowing how to get at the root of a song’s meaning. He knows the chorus is about sex—at least I think he does—but capitalizing on that appears to be beyond him. I don’t know whether he doesn’t get it or he’s too tasteful, but whatever the case the song is stolid from beginning to end. The music doesn’t help: there are spots where the entire record seems so listless it’s almost dead.

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Skimming the Surface: Hot 100 Roundup—1/26/13

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

One thing that the new singles dominated market is starting to do is destroy the old release schedule paradigm. Last year’s summer lull was barely a lull at all, and here in mid-January the big guns are putting singles out when the memory of Christmas has barely faded, with the surprise release of Justin Timberlake’s first new music in six years leading off. The Taylor Swift single is something of a surprise as well, not just in terms of quality (poor), but in its being released at all. I imagine it was forced by popular demand—why else put out a Target-exclusive bonus track as a single just a couple of months after the album?

Blake Shelton—“Sure Be Cool If You Did”
#44

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Shelton has found the perfect groove, and it’s called Seduction. He’s charming, relaxed, has a good sense of humor even if he’s never witty, and honest about his desires without ever being heavy-handed or appearing lecherous. His boyishness has it’s limits, though. He appears to live in a world where he has no responsibilities other than satisfying women as well as he can, and making sure they have a good time before and after. His universe is the singles bar, and the world outside either doesn’t exist or can be easily shrugged off. People who appreciate that sort of fantasy should lap this up, because “Sure Be Cool If You Did” is the best job Shelton has done in this style yet. Though it’s hardly a compliment to say that Shelton is good at being shallow.

Taylor Swift—“The Moment I Knew”
#64

It’s easy to understand why “The Moment I Knew” wasn’t included on Red. For all the emotional relationship shifting Swift does on the album, she never resorts to pouting, breaking down in tears, or acting like a spoiled brat (entitled, maybe, but never spoiled). She does all that on “The Moment I Knew”. She’s never sounded more unappealing, and all the songwriting craft in the world—and right now she’s the best—isn’t going to make things any better. I don’t want to jump to conclusions here, but let’s face it: if you have a couple of bad relationships, there’s no telling what the cause might be, so you can just soldier on without worrying about it; but if you’re working on numbers three, four, five, or whatever, it’s time to check your own head and not be putting all the blame on others. Something is wrong, and it’s not just them.

OneRepublic—“If I Lose Myself”
#74

Can we assume that EDM is over now that OneRepublic has embraced it? “If I Lose Myself” is EDM-lite, to be sure, but it’s still EDM. Gone are the clattering, over-miked but at least human-sounding drums that have marked almost every Ryan Tedder production until now. Instead we get a smooth machine beat and looping synths reminiscent of Phillip Glass or Terry Riley in service to another of Tedder’s bland but oh-so-sincere love lyrics. It reminds me of when Steve Winwood went disco in the softest possible way. Goodbye, EDM, it was nice knowing you.

Justin Timberlake featuring Jay-Z—“Suit & Tie”
#84

Timberlake is too serious a talent to write off, but “Suit & Tie” is too shallow a record to take seriously. The Timbaland beat is great (and I’m sorry to say that that’s a surprise), and Timberlake has never sung better, but this is a song about dressing up to go out with a woman with a great ass, and nothing more. If anything, the quality of the music is too high, and when it gets deflated by the lyric it almost hurts. Retro-sophistication will only take you so far if all it does is swim on the surface. As for Jay-Z, I suspect he was brought in in consideration of his sartorial habits, not because his rap fits the song.

B.o.B. featuring T.I. & Juicy J—“We Still In This Bitch”
#95

This isn’t unlistenable, and everyone involved raps well, but I find it almost impossible to pay attention. The title tells you what they’re going to say, and they don’t dare swerve from the script. “We Still In This Bitch” is as pro forma in its way as B.o.B.’s pop records, and without the benefit of a decent hook.

Imagine Dragons—“Demons”
#99

The things guys will say to get laid. Geez.

Kendrick Lamar—“Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe”
#100

It’s a muddled comparison, I know, but Kendrick Lamar is essentially Drake if Drake were capable of deep thought (as opposed to giving it lip service). Here, he even chooses a theme close to one of Drake’s own: how his friends have changed since he became famous. Lamar admits that he’s taken advantage of his fame even while complaining about those who are trying to take advantage of him, which isn’t far from Drake’s own admissions. Drake always sounds angry, though, and shrugs others off with barely a thought. Lamar doesn’t do that. He doesn’t sound angry or even irritated. Mostly he sounds disappointed, and his disappointment isn’t directed only at others. Since Lamar talks to himself so much on his tracks, I wouldn’t be surprised if the “bitch” who’s killing his vibe isn’t sometimes himself.

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Bending the Cliché: Hot 100 Roundup—1/19/13

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

Another slow week, with yet more tracks from Les Miserables and Pitch Perfect, neither worth bothering with unless you have a liking for bland ballads and clunky medleys. But the three non-souvenirs are each fascinating in their way, reworking familiar clichés and calling up more questions than they answer. None of them are brilliant, and they’re all, technically, from last year, but they point in some interesting ways toward the future. It’s going to be a weird year.

Rihanna—“Pour It Up”
#90

Aside from the music, which is stunning, what stands out about this record is the gender bending. “Pour It Up” could easily be sung by a man without changing a single word of the lyric. The message—”look guys, I can parade my stacks and my grill and watch strippers just like you”—is partly parody, partly whatever in Rihanna’s mind passes for feminism. Money makes her equal, even if she never has to spend any of it. That’s fine as far as it goes, but the remaining problem is one that male rapper’s have been trying to solve for years with little success: once you’ve reached this exalted position, then what? Kanye West and Jay-Z answer the question with art and business, respectively, but I don’t think Rihanna is thinking that far ahead yet. It’s a puzzle, no matter what your gender, but I suspect it’s more complicated for women. I hope she figures it out.

Lee Brice—“I Drive Your Truck”
#91

Over the last few years, southern truck culture has become so swamped in cliché, sentimentality, and jingoism that’s it’s difficult for those who live outside of it to take it seriously, to understand that it’s rooted in something other than macho arrogance, redneck pride, or right-wing paranoia. That an object that, in rural communities, is seen as a necessity should become an object of veneration shouldn’t be considered unusual. At least, no more unusual than urbanites’ veneration of, say, Apple products, or their favorite coffeeshop. If your brother died, wouldn’t you have the same feelings about his favorite hangout or his laptop, or even his car that Lee Brice has about his brother’s truck in “I Drive Your Truck”? The clichés are firmly in place—driving with the windows down, cranking up the radio, tearing up fallow fields, raising a lot of dust—but Brice makes them register, connects them with emotions and communities and lives. It’s not a great record—the music is stolid, the arrangement unimaginative and much too loud—but Brice sings very well, especially on the first verse, and the heart of the message gets across. I don’t think he totally succeeds in breaking the bounds of cliché, but he comes close.

The Barden Bellas—“Riff Off: Mickey/Like A Virgin/Hit Me With Your Best Shot/S&M/Let’s Talk About Sex/I’ll Make Love To You/Feels Like The First Time/No Diggity”
#93

Samantha Barks—“On My Own”
#97

fun.—“Carry On”
#100

Whenever anyone writes this sort of brainless uplift marching song they’re always in danger of appearing ridiculous, so I can’t totally fault fun. for coming up with one of the dumbest lines I’ve ever heard: “But my legs are fine/After all, they are mine”. The problem is the form, not the execution. “Carry On” is as skillful and enjoyable as this sort of song can be, and catchier than most, but after the more personal and idiosyncratic, if uneven, pleasures of “We Are Young” and “Some Nights”, it comes across as too easy in its uplift, almost cheap. Like those records, though, it has its oddly endearing moments of confusion (he says he never said that we are all shining stars, and then says exactly that over and over again in the chorus). These moments are intended, I think, to suggest self-doubt and maybe even deep thought, or maybe to reflect the realities of conversation amongst people who aren’t sure what anything they say means. All I hear this time around, though, is a guy who contradicts himself because he can’t remember what he said thirty seconds ago.

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Soundtrack Week: Hot 100 Roundup—1/12/13

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

Three musical souvenirs this week, none of which will or deserve to be on the chart by the end of the month. The Les Miserables track is unspeakable: lifted straight from the soundtrack, it features Anne Hathaway both oversinging and overacting, only the second of which she is capable of. The Pitch Perfect songs are at least fresh and clever (big points for covering an act as obscure as Lulu and the Lampshades, though it’s curious that the soundtrack calls the song “Cups” instead of “You’re Gonna Miss Me”), but are only a half step above Glee in terms of quality. Which leaves One Direction as the single debut this week that deserves a full review. Sort of.

Anne Hathaway—“I Dreamed A Dream”
#69

Anna Kendrick—“Cups”
#93

The Barden Bellas—“Bellas Finals: Price Tag / Don’t You (Forget About Me) / Give Me Everything / Just the Way You Are / Party In the U.S.A. / Turn the Beat Around”
#96

One Direction—“Rock Me”
#98

I’ve listened to about half of One Direction’s Take Me Home, and the one aspect of the album that’s most noticeable is that someone in the group, or amongst their handlers, really likes rock and roll, or at least rock. Almost every track features a tried and true riff or rhythm, and though the pop gloss diminishes the effect, there’s no doubt that someone involved in these records wants to rock out. “Rock Me” adapts Queen for the purpose, and even makes a reference to heavy metal and tape machines. It’s both modern (especially for those teens who haven’t heard the originals) and nostalgic. The tempo drags, though, and there are far better (i.e. faster) songs on the album.

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In Limbo
Hot 100 Roundup—1/5/13

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013

In real life, this is the last Hot 100 of 2012, not the first of 2013, but since Billboard starts and ends their year ten days ahead of the rest of the world, in Chartland we’re already into the new year. Trying to sort all of this out would be as confusing as straightening out the dates in 19th century Russian history, before they adopted the Gregorian calendar; it isn’t worth the trouble, and it would make my head hurt. So even though these will be officially listed as hitting the chart in 2013, it was actually 2012, though if you don’t care to remember that it doesn’t matter. A place in limbo is all these records deserve anyway.

Cassadee Pope—“Cry”
#60

Kid Cudi—“King Wizard”
#95

Cudi is smart, but he isn’t a genius. “King Wizard” sounds like the foundation for a brilliant track, the concept and the music are perfectly meshed and in place, but Cudi doesn’t seem to know where to go after that. He’s still thinking his way through instead of letting his instincts take flight. For all his bragging, much of which is earned, I’m not sure he trusts himself. “King Wizard” never steps over the line into pretension or egocentric folly, but it doesn’t go anywhere, either.

Ke$ha—“C’mon”
#99

“C’mon” has more life to it than “Die Young”, but it still sounds rote, and Ke$ha appears to have little interest in making this sort of record anymore. It’s not just her performance—it’s the words, the music, everything. All the touches and details that made “Tik-Tok” and “Sleazy” such enjoyable records have disappeared. She’s painting by numbers, and she isn’t even trying to color outside the lines.

Casey James—“Crying On A Suitcase”
#100

“Crying On a Suitcase” isn’t a bad song—the chorus is standard issue but I like the tumbling, headlong rush of the verses—and in the hands of a good singer it could be a decent record. But Casey James isn’t a good singer: his voice is thin, and he doesn’t seem to have enough control of his breath to give those verses the flow they need to come across with their full power. I appreciate his trying to avoid the John Mayerish trap he could easily fall into (and that the producers of American Idol encouraged), but he needs to find another way.

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