Posts Tagged ‘50 Cent’

Hot 100 Roundup—8/6/11

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

Red Hot Chili Peppers—”The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie”
#38
Not that it means much, but their craftsmanship is impressive: the grooves have become tighter, the song construction less erratic, the playing and singing expert. None of which changes the fact that this is the alt-rock version of mellow, smooth and meaningless. They wanted to be Parliament/Funkadelic, and turned into Tom Petty. It’s almost enough to make you feel sorry for them.

Jay-Z & Kanye West featuring Otis Redding—”Otis”
#47
The idea that this somehow demeans Redding is ridiculous. If anything, the way the sample is used emphasizes his vocal strengths and puts them in a framework younger listeners can appreciate. Besides, the song isn’t called “Otis” for nothing. It may be hubris for Jay-Z and West to see themselves as part of that tradition, but they’re not claiming to be more talented than Redding, just richer. Not that they don’t twist the meaning of his song. What “makes it easier to bear” in their case isn’t tenderness, it’s money, and all the style and beauty and high-powered toys it can buy them. Which doesn’t mean they’re not aware of the ironies of their situation, either: “Sophisticated ignorance” may be the greatest self-description West has ever come up with, only they’re not ignorant by a long shot. There are so may intellectual and emotional twists and turns in this record that it’s almost impossible to keep up with, and then James Brown get thrown into the mix and things jump to still another level. A great one.

Drake—”Marvin’s Room”
#68
Like all late night drunken phone calls, this starts out interesting but quickly becomes repetitive and boring. I appreciate what Drake is trying to do, but the relentless self-pity has become unbearable. He needs a new approach.

50 Cent—”Outlaw”
#87
This is easily 50 Cent’s best record since 2005 or so, maybe even longer. But he’s achieved it by going back to 2005, where he will no doubt be stuck for the rest of his career, such as it is. If you feel like reminiscing, I’d give this a listen.

Big Sean featuring Kanye West & Roscoe Dash—”Marvin & Chardonnay”
#88
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/30/11

Miguel—”Quickie”
#95
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/23/11

DJ Drama featuring Fabolous, Roscoe Dash & Wiz Khalifa—”Oh My”
#100
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/30/11

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Hot 100 Roundup—6/4/11

Monday, June 13th, 2011

Lady GaGa—”Hair”
#12
An odd metaphor coming from a woman who is generally seen either in wigs or with hair coiffed and dyed to within an inch of it’s life; does anyone know what GaGa’s real hair even looks like? But despite the cognitive dissonance and the unfortunate echoes of David Crosby, this is a grand piece of Springsteen-influenced disco, the kind of music that sounds great not just on the dancefloor but out on the open road. I’m particularly fond of the bridge, where GaGa’s phrasing makes her sound appropriately callow and naive. It may be the most human moment she’s ever managed.

Young Jeezy featuring Lil Wayne—”Ballin’”
#57
Jeezy’s voice holds your attention, but he works in a style that was half-dead even when he started out five years ago, and has nothing to add to it. Neither does Lil Wayne.

Glee Cast
“Pure Imagination”, #59
“Back To Black”, #82
“My Man”, #94

Nicole Scherzinger featuring 50 Cent—”Right There”
#77
Not terrible, which is a surprise considering how lazy it sounds. The music isn’t bad, but the rhyme scheme consists of repeating the same word at the end of each line, an effect almost as flattening as 50 Cents’ rap. He long ago said he had no real interest in making music anymore, and this proves it. Scherzinger sounds as anonymous as ever, and you can’t help but wonder if this would even have been released if it wasn’t for her X Factor gig.

DJ Khaled featuring Drake, Rick Ross & Lil Wayne—”I’m On One”
#78
A stylistic changeup from Khaled, which would be interesting if he was capable of making good music, but he isn’t, so we’re left with the lineup. Rick Ross is his usual monotonous self, and Lil Wayne indulges in hit-and-miss word games: good and bad puns (“I’m a made nigga, I should dust something”) with the occasional meaningful line. As for Drake, he may be serious in his doubts about the rap game, and even in his self-criticism, but he lies so consistantly about how hard his life is I find it impossible to trust him even (especially) when he sounds sincere. His hypocrisy is fascinating, though, as is his resistance to flow. Being the snobbish cad that he is, he seems to consider it beneath him.

Rihanna—”California King Bed”
#80
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/30/11

Jason DeRulo—”Don’t Wanna Go Home”
#92
Yet another lift from “Day-O”, this one even more obvious than Lil Wayne’s. Otherwise, this is as anonymous as most of DeRulo’s previous records. If it weren’t for that borrowed hook, it would have no melody at all.

Ashton Shepard—”Look It Up”
#95
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/2/11

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Hot 100 Roundup—1/23/11

Monday, January 24th, 2011

Britney Spears—”Hold It Against Me”
#1
I agree with those who say the middle-eight is the best music Spears has made since Blackout, but that’s not saying much, and it’s the merest echo of tracks like “Piece of Me”. The problem isn’t just that Spears is repeating herself, but lack of context. “Piece of Me” was about something that only Spears could understand, and her anger and desire to make others see what she had been going through was palpable. Now that the crisis is over and other pop stars are taking the public heat, she has nothing to do but make her presence known and do her best to assert her sense of continued importance. Except now, just as at the beginning of her career, she doesn’t really have anything to say and does nothing but repeat the usual romantic and sexual tropes. The resulting music is as blank as her message.

Avril Lavigne—”What the Hell”
#13
This one is growing on me, I admit. The middle eight is great, and though it has more than it’s share of dumb bits, it holds together as a decent piece of modernized girl group silliness. Not as good as “Girlfriend”, mind you, but not bad. I just wish Lavigne wasn’t so intent on making herself sound like she’s still a teenager. There’s something unsettling in hearing a record about the desire for casual sex that sounds like the most virginal Disney pop.

Kanye West & Jay-Z—”H*A*M”
#23
Is this intended as a parody of the cult of personality or the start of one? When two superegos meet, is a ghastly music echoing the dreaded Carmina Burana the only thing that can reflect their monstrous self-regard? Are the mediocre opera singers supposed to be Sirens luring our heroes to their doom, or just the white supermodels who give West such good head? Is there a single genuine idea behind this overblown piece of shit? And if there is, would anybody give a fuck if they figured out what it was?

Cage The Elephant—”Shake Me Down”
#78
I liked this band’s last single, “Ain’t No Rest For the Wicked”, which was self-deprecating and philosophical without being heavy. This is all heavy, every last alt-rock-pastiche minute of it, especially the parts that sound like Oasis. What a jumbled mess.

Garrett Hedlund & Leighton Meester—”Give In To Me”
#79
This is a good song, but it’s another cut from Country Strong, and it suffers from all the negatives that most movie soundtrack songs share: the arrangements are too studied, and the singers, though technically fine, sound too much like actors. I’d love to hear a couple of real country singers take a whack at this, though.

Mann featuring 50 Cent—”Buzzin’”
#95
The featured sample, Nu Shooz’s “I Can’t Wait”, of all things, makes me think that someone should start a betting pool on which white one-hit-wonder producer J.R. Rotem will appropriate next. Quarterflash? Modern English? Spanky and Our Gang? Other than that, the only notable thing about this record is that the old school bass line has prompted Mann to echo old school vocal rhythms, as well. Just wish he went all the way with it. Then this might be a welcome breath of retro air, rather than a curiosity.

The JaneDear Girls—”Wildflower”
#98
The cutesy double pun of their name will give you an idea of how hard they’re trying (too hard), and why it’s probably best to avoid them. Not terrible, but ordinary.

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It’s not all Vitaminwater

Monday, January 10th, 2011

Maybe this is what they mean by Twitter “influence”: 50 Cent recommends a stock, and the price goes up over 350%. Does the SEC know about this?

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Hot 100 Roundup—11/21/10

Saturday, November 27th, 2010

Glee Cast
“Teenage Dream”, #8
“Start Me Up/Living On a Prayer”, #31
“Stop! In the Name of Love/Free Your Mind”, #38
“One Love (People Get Ready)”, #41

The Black Eyed Peas—“The Time (Dirty Bit)”
#12
Since I didn’t listen to radio much in the late ’80s, the use of one of the more irritating hits of that period doesn’t bother me as much as it does some others (besides, will.i.am, with far less of a voice, still sings it better than Bill Medley did), but there’s no doubt that this record represents the group running in place, if not retreating a bit. This is nearly as good as anything on The E.N.D., but it doesn’t break any new ground (unless you consider letting Fergie play diva over minimalist dance grooves a step forward). The E.N.D., whatever you think about the music, was undoubtedly one of the more daring albums of the last few years in terms of a band remaking it’s sound and image, so it shouldn’t be a surprise if the Peas spin their wheels a bit this time out.

Kid Cudi
“Marijuana”, #54
“Scott Mescudi Vs. the World”, #92
These are good records—moody, reflective, self-absorbed but intelligent and with little evidence of self-pity. They’re only on the chart, though, because of 1) the tile; and 2) the presence of Cee-Lo Green. In other words, curiosity. Whether or not the audience is paying attention to what these songs, with their honest consideration of substance dependence, actually mean, is open to question. But Cudi deserves respect for putting the message out there.

Lupe Fiasco—“The Show Goes On”
#57
I like the sound of this, but it doesn’t really go anywhere. And I liked the sound a lot more when T.I. did it five years ago.

Jeremih featuring 50 Cent—“Down On Me”
#67
I like the music: a catchy pop mix of dancehall, dubstep, and hip-hop. But 50 Cent’s presence is a waste in more ways than one—even when he isn’t mumbling he utters nothing but cliches. Jeremih himself starts off shaky, but evens out once he gets to the hook. An interesting change of pace, but an uncertain one.

Lady Antebellum—“Hello World”
#70
When they sing about love, Lady Antebellum play it subdued and classy; they’re not great, but it’s a welcome change from the usual over-arranged country blather. Here, though, they’re delivering a message to the world, and they pull out all the stops and pump all the pedals at once. To compound their sins, their obvious inspiration is R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts”, both the song and the video, an exemplar of emotional intensity and restraint they warp and curdle for the purposes of their own soft-headed sentimentality before the end of the first verse. If this is how country music is going to move into the ‘90s, I prefer they stay where they are.

Jason Derulo—“What If”
#76
A power ballad written and produced by J.R. Rotem. Think about that for a minute.

Ke$ha—“Cannibal”
#77
Tastelessness can be a virtue in pop music, but only if you’re funny, or if you’re being tasteless about subjects people are (secretly) attracted to. This isn’t funny, and the cannibal demographic is, as I understand it, somewhat limited. It’s like a big budget version of a zombie movie–the effects are more expensive but somehow less impressive, and all the insane amateurism has been taken out and replaced with studio gloss, resulting in something that’s not only gross but boring.

Twista featuring Chris Brown—“Make A Movie”
#94
Fresh from his bunker, where it’s always 2003, Twista does his best to revive his video-porn fantasies, just like the good old days. Someone should take him aside and explain the difference between being retro and being in a rut.

Bubbling Under:

Sick Puppies—“Maybe”
#101
“Maybe I’m a dreamer/Maybe I’m misunderstood…” What else do you expect from a band that rose to fame via the “Free Hugs” movement? Yuck.

Train—“Marry Me”
#104
Having softened up the AC demographic with two kinda cute, uptempo ditties, Train goes in for the sentimental kill. Chances are, this will be in the AC top ten for the next year. I’ve only listened to it once and I’m already sick of it.

Don Omar & Lucenzo—“Danza Kurduro”
#105
Since I can’t understand the words (and even with a translation would probably miss subtleties that only native speakers would pick up), I’m not a good judge of this record. The music, though, sounds ordinary—the arrangement too busy, the production too harsh. Until I know better, I think I’ll stick with Pitbull.

Eric Benet—“Sometimes I Cry”
#106
This retro-soul number has it’s attributes: it’s not a bad song, and the arrangement has a nice, mid-’90s Prince feel to it. But Benet’s falsetto gets old fast, and when he strains it near the end that’s all you hear: no emotion, just strain.

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New this week—2/21/10

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

Artists for Haiti—”We Are the World 25: For Haiti”
#2
Whatever else might be said, good or bad, about the original “We Are the World”, at least it was of its time. This new version, despite the urgency of the cause, or perhaps because of it, isn’t. Even more than the original it sounds self-serving and self-congratulatory, and though some have made a big deal of the addition of rappers to the mix, after 25 years their presence is neither surprising nor significant—if anything they make the record sound more dated. What is surprising is the anonymity of it all. On first listen the only voice I recognized was Justin Bieber’s, and after a few more go-rounds I’ve only been able to pick up on a few of the others. It’s not that the singers aren’t trying to be distinctive—if there’s such a thing as a melisma overdose this record could induce it—but they’ve all switched into sincere balladry mode and are trying their best to appear humble (in the most self-aggrandizing way), which tends to make them all sound alike. Let’s face it, ego is one of the driving forces of pop music, and successfully feeding it is as close as most pop stars get to emotional and intellectual achievement; without it they’re nothing.

Iyaz—”Solo”
#43
Second single, and he now sounds even more like Sean Kingston than the first time out. Which doesn’t make this bad, it just means that you’ve heard it before, and better.

General Larry Platt—”Pants On the Ground”
#46
A not very funny—not to mention years out of date—soundbite repeated obsessively for three and a half-minutes. I’m sure the General is a lovable old coot, and I hope he enjoys his five minutes of fame, but the best that can be said for this is that it’s better than William Hung.

Rihanna—”Rude Boy”
#64
Better than “Hard”, but only just. Considering Rihanna’s well-publicized personal history, the “treat me rough” message, though consensual and reciprocal, leaves a sour taste. I don’t want to go so far as to accuse her of capitalizing on her misfortunes, but I’m beginning to think the entirety of Rated R was a mistake.

Lloyd Banks featuring Juelz Santana—”Beamer, Benz, or Bentley”
#76
Banks is more than a second-rate 50 Cent, but not that much more, and he’s a lot cruder. He’s also a little behind the times: this sounds like a nostalgic flashback to 2004, back when cars and stacks could still impress all on their own.

Monica—”Everything To Me”
#82
An old-fashioned, unambitious soul number that never rises above its nostalgic impetus. Which is just a fancy way of saying it’s dull.

Waka Flacka Flame—”O Let’s Do It”
#95
There’s a part of me that’s glad somebody’s still making drug-dealer rap—the life exists, after all, and someone besides Ghostface Killah should be documenting it (though I doubt anyone else could be as good at it). So I appreciate the lyrical content. I just wish the music were better, or more connected to its subject matter, instead of this off-the-rack beat.

Kellie Pickler—”Didn’t You Know How Much I Loved You”
#99
Sweet and charming she may be, but Pickler’s talent is in the medium range, and ballads like this are beyond her. Of course, no one with above-average talent would choose material as generic as this to begin with.

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New this week—11/29/09

Sunday, November 29th, 2009

John Mayer
“Half of My Heart” (featuring Taylor Swift), #25
“Heartbreak Warfare”, #100
What bothers me about these records, both above average in execution, emotion, and intelligence—especially “Heartbreak Warfare”—is Mayer’s apparent inability not to wear his influences on his sleeve. “Half Of My Heart” not only borrows the easy heartbeat groove of Fleetwood Mac, but is layered with an almost embarrassingly accurate imitation of Lindsey Buckingham’s guitar, while “Heartbreak Warfare” is a barely disguised rewrite of U2′s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” Considering the subject matter of both songs, the borrowing makes sense, but it also makes me wonder if Mayer has any musical identity that he truly feels is his own. Maybe “Half Of My Heart” is a reference to his music as well as his love life.

Glee Cast
“Lean On Me”, #50
“Don’t Stand So Close To Me/Young Girl”, #64
“I’ll Stand By You”, #73
“Endless Love”, #78
Welcome, to paraphrase Dylan, to the old folks home in the high school. For anyone who didn’t already believe that boomer culture is a dead issue, Glee is the ultimate proof—or the final nail. These kids aren’t singing their parent’s music, after all, they’re singing their grandparent’s music. There’s a certain amount of wit, I suppose, in pairing The Police with Gary Puckett and the Union Gap (though it’s unfair—not even Sting deserves to be chained to such deathless smarm), but the joke is lost in the blank earnestness of the performance. This might as well be Sing Along with Mitch or The Lawrence Welk Show for a new generation—once meaningful standards reduced to a level even lower than muzak. As glad as I am that Bill Withers and Chrissie Hynde will never have to work again unless they want to, they deserve better. We all deserve better. Even the people who actually buy this crap deserve better.

Alicia Keys—”Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart”
#58
Even at her best, and this is close, Alicia Keys makes what might be called R&B for home schoolers. She gets all the details right, down to the smallest nuance, but her music lacks the give and take, the rough and tumble of actual human contact, and it’s full of a self-importance bred of isolation. It’s as if she were building a museum of her emotions, displayed on pedestals behind glass, with dark velvet curtains and perfect lighting and little explanatory plaques for our edification.

Justin Bieber
“Down To Earth”, #79
“Bigger”, #94
“First Dance” (featuring Usher). #99
Four of the songs from his eight-track EP already having charted as singles, it only makes sense that the three others that are available as individual downloads (the eighth is technically an “album only” bonus cut) should chart as well. The first two are even blander than the singles, but “First Dance”, at least lyrically, is something else again. It’s the prom, you see, and there’s no one else on the dance floor, and their are no chaperones, and… “I promise I’ll be gentle, I know we gotta do it slowly” Bieber croons in his most seductive 15-year-old tones. “I couldn’t ask for more, we’re rockin’ back and fourth,” he says later, and then assures the young thing that “our parents will never know”. If both consenting partners are under age, is it still considered statuatory rape? And people think Adam Lambert is controversial.

Rihanna featuring Jeezy—”Hard”
#80
It is hard, and it gets even harder with Jeezy’s rap, which, unlike so many guest spots, lifts the song to a higher level, and is immediately followed by Rihanna’s best-ever vocal performance. She sounds so enraged she’s incoherent. Better this than the self-pity and mixed messages of “Russian Roulette”, not to mention the rest of Rated R.

Melanie Fiona—”It Kills Me”
#88
Like Jazmine Sullivan, Fiona sounds as if she’s immersed in early ’70s soul, specifically of the Chi-Lites variety. She’s more emotionally restrained than Sullivan, though, her music less zaftig, so to speak. Which makes her a little less interesting and more generic, at least in ’70s terms. Today, the sound of this record stands out, but back in ’73 it would have been lucky to make top 30 on the R&B chart.

50 Cent—”The Invitation”
#97
The good news is that 50 Cent sounds interested again—this is as tough and angry as it ought to be. The bad news is that he’s still 50 Cent, and apparently the only way he could revive his interest was by going over the same ground he and thousands of others have worn down already. Not bad for retro-gangsta, but it doesn’t go anywhere, largely because it never had anywhere to go in the first place.

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New this week—11/8/09

Sunday, November 8th, 2009

Lady GaGa—”Bad Romance”
#9
Though I still have a lot of doubts about Lady GaGa, there’s no arguing with a chunk of nonsense as entertaining as this. She makes up for a dearth of hooks on her previous singles by putting five or six here, most of them stolen, the whole driven by constant shifts in vocal timbre that serve as hooks of their own. Better yet, the Madonna influence is now aural as well as conceptual. I don’t buy her love-as-disease schtick, but her flirtation with decadence sounds more convincing, and less misogynistic, than it did before. She might just be as smart as she says she is.

Taylor Swift
“Jump Then Fall”, #10
“Untouchable”, #19
“The Other Side of the Door”, #23
“Superstar”, #26
“Come In With the Rain”, #30
It’s a sign of Swift’s growing confidence and skill that her leftovers, though none are as good as the best cuts on the original Fearless, are all of above-average quality. It’s also good to see her willingness to trim back the arrangements; for the most part these are simpler, less involved, and less cluttered than the album tracks. Her gift for hooks and for melody lines that perfectly mirror the onrush of emotional energy that typifies adolescent romance remains remarkable, and if she sometimes repeats herself (no doubt some of these were left off Fearless originally because they were superseded by better realizations of the same basic idea), she has a right—she’s perfected a vision of teenage romantic yearning that is both personal and universal, and no one could blame her for running with it. And for those who doubt the taste of the mass audience, it’s worth noting that these are charting roughly in order of quality. I would rate “The Other Side of the Door” higher than “Untouchable”, but otherwise it looks like her fans got it exactly right.

50 Cent featuring Ne-Yo—”Baby By Me”
#31
Great Ne-Yo hook, above-average beats, and 50 Cent wisely keeps his softcore porn flow in line with the music and never forces his hand. So, overall, not bad. He should be careful what he says, though. How long before some deranged fan comes calling, claiming that 50 Cent knocked her up and demanding the million bucks he promised her?

Justin Bieber—”Love Me”
#37
This is brainless fluff, even more brainless than the Flo Rida and Sean Kingston tracks it’s patterned on. I still appreciate the fact that Bieber is a fifteen year-old who actually sounds like a fifteen year-old, but this copycat nonsense isn’t going to get him anywhere.

Carrie Underwood—”Undo It”
#87
Underwood likes to claim that she’s pushing the envelope in country pop, and if plugging hip-hop styled vocals over bouncy Neil Young derived rhythms with lyrics that roughly echo Lucinda Williams is pushing the envelope, I suppose she’s right. It’s a lot more pop than country, though, and it would be a lot better if it wasn’t so shrill. Doesn’t anyone in Nashville know how to produce records anymore?

Shinedown—”If You Only Knew”
#92
This has a nice chorus, but like all bands of this ilk, they overplay and overemphasize and kill any grace or lyricism their songs might contain. They particularly like to do this when they realize they’ve written a nice chorus, just to show how proud of themselves they are.

Gucci Mane featuring Usher—”Spotlight”
#93
Usher’s hook is a throwaway, and, beside letting us know that he favors ladies who don’t wear panties, Gucci Mane has nothing to say. It must be a relief to know they can still make the charts on name recognition.

Omarion featuring Gucci Mane—I Get It In
#99
Former loverboy Omarion now has a voice as rough as Gucci Mane’s (what has he been doing with himself, you wonder), and apparently a mind to match. Gucci himself, meanwhile, would like to reiterate that he favors ladies who don’t wear panties. Are you listening, ladies? He’s only going to tell you twice.

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