Posts Tagged ‘American Idol’

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Hot 100 Roundup—12/24/11

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Glee Cast
“We Are Young”, #12
“Survivor/I Will Survive”, #51
“Man In the Mirror”, #76
“ABC”, #88
“Red Solo Cup”, #92

T-Pain featuring Lil Wayne—”Bang Bang Pow Pow”
#48
After the failure of two strong singles a year or so ago, it appears T-Pain has decided to go the more obvious route to revive his career: bigtime guests, obvious samples and/or beats, an avoidance of any subtlety or musical games. So we get straightforward gangsta-party music, with lots of sex, lame raps, gunshots, the works (including Lil Wayne, whose rap I can’t recall at the moment). Because it’s T-Pain, he doesn’t sink a low as others might, but it seems damn low for him. I wonder what happened to the album those earlier singles were from. There’s no sign of them on Revolver, not even the deluxe version.

fun. featuring Janelle Monae—”We Are Young”
#53
A problematic generational anthem. The message goes something like this: “The parties over. Sorry I hurt you. I’ll help you home and we’ll get some sleep and tomorrow we’ll change the world.” Fair enough, but I worry whether the scar he gave his ex is metaphorical or actual. Janelle Monae’s presence is negligible, which is just as well in this case. The melody has a certain lift, but the arrangement is too sparse and the overall effect is hollow. I’ll blame that on the band, not on their generation.

Jake Owen—”Alone With You”
#90
I like the feel of this, and Owen sings it well, but it doesn’t get anywhere near as down in the dumps as it should, and Owen doesn’t seem to be putting up much of a fight against this particular femme fatale. She’s got him whipped, and he sounds too weak to even think about resisting. At the same time, he doesn’t sound like he’s all that turned on by her, either, and if she can’t manage that, what possible power could she have over him? Little details like that are what makes songs come alive, and this doesn’t have them.

Keith Urban—”You Gonna Fly”
#91
I’m beginning to think the only difference between Urban and Rascal Flatts is that there’s only one of him. His sound is a little rougher, to be sure, a little more rock and roll, but that’s like saying that shag is a little rougher than fleece. It’s still designed to be warm and cozy and nothing else.

Kelly Clarkson—”I’ll Be Home for Christmas”
#93
It’s been almost a decade since Clarkson won the first season of American Idol, and you would think she’d have shaken the dust off her heels by now, but every once in a while she still sounds like she’s a contestant. This is overdramatized, oversung, and like too many American Idol competitors, Clarkson seems to have no idea what the song is about. She also throws in a change in the lyric, intentional or not I don’t know, that strips away any sense the song might still have made, even with her singing it. Don’t even get me started on the trumpet solo. A mistake in just about every way.

Waka Flocka Flame featuring Drake—”Round of Applause”
#97
This opens with a loud belch. I find it impossible to listen afterwards. Even among rappers (or rap yellers, in this case) there should be such a thing as dignity. Maybe more so.

Edens Edge—”Amen”
#99
Despite the name of the group and the title of the song, this is not Contemporary Christian Country, or Christian anything aside from the way it uses common pentacostal phrases as a lame joke in the chorus. In the who’ll-be-the-next-Lady-Antebellum sweepstakes (formerly the who’ll-be-the-next-Sugarland sweepstakes), these folks are dead last, with a sound designed to be so soft and sweet and nonthreatening it barely exists. Somehow that makes their use of religious terms even more offensive.

Listen on Spotify

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Bubbling Under 8/20/11

Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

Victorious Cast featuring Victoria Justice—”I Want You Back”
#108
This is pure karaoke—the only thing that sounds different from the original is the vocals—but it’s a world away from Glee or the worst of American Idol. Still, it’s a well-crafted curiosity and nothing more. It helps that Justice doesn’t try to do Michael Jackson. More and more, in fact, she reminds me of Katrina Leskanich. I await her version of “Walking On Sunshine”.

Darius Rucker—”I Got Nothin’”
#109
After the warm and sleep-inducing paeans to family life on Rucker’s last album, the bleak desolation of this record comes as a surprise. What may be even more surprising is the way Rucker sings it: there isn’t a trace of country phrasing. If anything, he sounds like a grunge singer dabbling in a different genre (if you ever wanted to hear Eddie Vedder sing country, this may be as close as you get). Not a great record, but better than I would have expected.

David Nail—”Let It Rain”
#115
One of the things that makes country so fascinating right now is the sense of growing stylistic openness; more and more it sounds as if they’re willing to try anything. This may be desperation in the face of imploding sales, but it may also have to do with the broadening of the country audience not just beyond the south (which has been going on for decades), but from a rural and suburban base to one more urban. So now you get more traces of urban styles, even touches of hip-hop and urban soul, besides the obvious blues, southern rock, and easy-listening pop. This record, good but not great, features pumping organ as it’s rhythmic base, along with background vocals that suggest both black gospel and the sophistication of Fleetwood Mac, plus the unfortunately de rigueur power ballad climax (when is someone in country going to fight the loudness epidemic? they, of all genres, should be leading the charge). It doesn’t veer far from the basics, especially in the vocals, but it’s enough to make it sound fresh, and to make you wonder just where country is going to be a few years from now.

Skrillex—”Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites”
#24
The sound of an early-twenties DJ/producer with a love of not only techno but heavy metal, playing at fun and games in the studio (or on his laptop). In other words, nerd music, but with a twist. It’s no surprise when near the end the relatively unfiltered vocals sound as wimpy and wan as Death Cab for Cutie or Owl City, but Skrillex isn’t interested in emphasizing his sensitive side, he’s into creating alter egos that reflect multiple aspects of his personality, even the nasty ones that aren’t that pleasant to listen to. Right now the dichotomy is obvious, jarring, and somewhat off-putting; if he should ever manage a synthesis, though, he could be something.

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Bubbling Under—7/30/11

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

DJ Drama featuring Fabolous, Roscoe Dash & Wiz Khalifa—”Oh My”
#101
In which three guys who have never had anything to say say it together over a track that has nothing to say, either. At least DJ Khaled’s tracks are full of racial pride; this is just full of it.

Big Sean featuring Kanye West & Roscoe Dash—”Marvin & Chardonnay”
#102
Big Sean is Big Sean, Roscoe Dash is, I guess, Roscoe Dash—to tell the truth I didn’t even realize he was on here until I read the credits—and Kanye West is a strange and shriveled parody of himself. First time I heard this I thought West was Big Sean doing a Weezy imitation; even when I realized it was West himself I could barely believe it. It’s not just that his verse is bad—West has been bad plenty of times before—it’s that it isn’t even an interesting or offensive form of bad, it’s sub-par in every possible way. Now I’m beginning to wonder if it isn’t West making fun of Big Sean instead of the other way around.

Pia Toscano—”This Time”
#105
Apparently Jimmy Iovine thinks Toscano can be a star despite her early booting off of American Idol. To prove it, he gets Ester Dean to write up a pale imitation of a Ryan Tedder track and tells Toscano to sing as loudly as she can. At least that’s how I imagine it went. I figured I’d give Toscano a break and not blame her the first time out. Next time, though…

Craig Campbell—”Fish”
#109
This is as dirty as country can get and still be played on the radio, though I suspect the only program it would really fit on is the old Dr. Demento show. The main joke you see, is rhyming “fish” with “truck” and “luck”, an idea that puts it right up there with “Shaving Cream” in the intellectual humor department. There are also some double entendres involving fishing rods and little pink bobbers. Which doesn’t mean it isn’t enjoyable in a leering, adolescent sort of way.

Rascal Flatts featuring Natasha Bedingfield—”Easy”
#121
What exactly is Natasha Bedingfield, or her management, or her record company, thinking? A few years ago she was pioneering a form of white-girl hip-hop which, if slick as hell, at least carried some meaning; now she’s lending her voice to one of the worst bands in the world on a “country” power-ballad that makes Lady Antebellum look like masters of emotional restraint. Unless she’s planning to go “country” herself how does this possibly further her career other than keeping her name in the charts? Yeah, her last album tanked, but that’s because she had lost track of where her true strengths lie. Now she’s even further off course.

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Hot 100 Roundup—5/14/11

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

Glee Cast
“I Feel Pretty/Unpretty”, #22
“Somewhere Only We Know”, #42
“Born This Way”, #44
“As If We Never Said Goodbye”, #80

Javier Colon—”Time After Time”
#65
So Glee and American Idol aren’t enough, but now I have to review this crap, too? Colon has a voice, alright, but he has no real idea of how to sing with it—he’s all affectation and sentimentality. The arrangement is terrible, as well—the lines and phrases are broken up with no consideration for meaning or sense, turning a good song into a pile of sticky glop. Until I hear different, that’s what I think of The Voice in general, and may we never cross paths again.

Duck Sauce—”Barbra Streisand”
#89
This is about as predictable as dance music gets, and once they’ve recited the title and brought in the vocal hook, you know exactly what this record is going to do and where it’s going to go: nothing and nowhere. The non sequitur of the title is the only interesting thing about it, and even as a joke it’s only funny about one and a half times. By the third time around you’re struggling to pay attention.

Foster the People—”Pumped Up Kicks”
#96
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/2/11

Nicki Minaj—”Super Bass”
#98
This isn’t Minaj at her best or most outrageous, but it isn’t Minaj at her most sentimental and cringeworthy, either, the side of her personality I was afraid was taking over. In pop terms it’s may be best thing she’s done: a clever and meaningless piece of fluff, with a great hook and hilarious word play. Which doesn’t mean it lacks bite. Congratulating her man for being in touch with his feminine side is as sharp a slap at male rap culture as you can get, and even if she’s being sarcastic it’s a great line. Especially since Minaj’s feminine side, and the way she plays it, is the scariest thing about her.

Jana Kramer—”Whiskey”
#99
A wonderful song, and Kramer, whose voice reminds me of Dolly Parton, sings it perfectly. Which makes this an appropriate time to lament country music’s continuing inability to keep the goddamn volume down. The band is so loud it all but drowns out the funniest and cleverest lines of the song, which also happen to be its emotional center. Kramer’s too gifted a singer to be overshadowed in this way, and maybe the best thing she could do for herself, since she already has an ear for material, is find a producer who knows how to set that material properly.

Maroon 5—”Never Gonna Leave This Bed”
#100
The groove is impressive as always, but it’s still automatic, and Adam Levine’s egotism just won’t go away, even when he’s pleading. A line like, “Fake it, fake it, I’ll take whatever I can get” may sound as if he’s being brutally honest with himself, but what it really means is that he doesn’t care whether the woman is having a good time or not as long as he’s getting some. He also doesn’t help his case by waking her up in the middle of the night to tell her he’s not going to leave her. Like she asked. What a selfish little fuck.

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Hot 100 Roundup—3/19/11

Tuesday, March 15th, 2011

Britney Spears—”Till the World Ends”
#20
Not only better than “Hold It Against Me”, but almost the equal of the best of Blackout. The breakdown is as amazing and mesmerizing as it’s intended to be, and if she ultimately has nothing to say that isn’t going to keep anyone from dancing. She may not have gained any new knowledge from all she went through, but she found a sharp new sound, and that may be enough.

Foo Fighters—”Rope”
#70
Production matters. This is no better or worse than any other Foo Fighters’ song, but Butch Vig’s production adds a clarity, focus, and energy that have been missing from their last few records. They have nothing important to pass on but more rage, but now at least their rage sounds authentic.

Gorilla Zoe featuring Lil Jon—”Twisted”
#77
It’s always good to hear Lil Jon, even if all he does is shout “Okay!”, and I’ve found Gorilla Zoe’s earlier records interesting at the very least, and this is no exception. He makes good use of electronic effects, and occasionally comes up with a decent turn of phrase. But for the most part he’s a crunkier and less frenetic version of Flo Rida, with fewer hooks. And no amount of Lil Jon’s shouting is ever going to make him anything else.

The Band Perry—”You Lie”
#80
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 3/12/11

Chris Medina—”What Are Words”
#83
If this helps Medina and his fiancée in their situation then I guess I’m all for it, but that doesn’t change the fact that the way their story was presented on American Idol was the worst sort of media exploitation. It also doesn’t make Medina a decent singer or this anything but a terrible record. There are far better ways to help people than making charity records, but you’ll never convince the record industry of that.

Big Sean featuring Chris Brown—”My Last”
#89
It’s getting hard for me to tell the various Drake’s apart. This one has a stronger voice and a smoother flow. He’s also cruder, if such a thing is possible. He has no other distinguishing traits.

Nicki Minaj—”Did It On’em”
#92
If there has to be hashtag rap, let it all be like this. Minaj is always at her best when she’s pissed, even when she isn’t trading up her voices the way she does on Kanye West’s “Monster”. The fact that she isn’t fooling around here must mean she’s really mad. I wouldn’t want to cross her, that’s for sure.

Mary Mary—”Walking”
#97
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/13/11

Willow—”21st Century Girl”
#99
Willow actually sounds closer to her age here than on “Whip My Hair”, and though this lacks the novelty value I think it’s a better record. I don’t even hold the fact that the chorus is a reworking of Nelly Furtado’s “Promiscuous” against it. In fact, it’s kind of cute.

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Who really benefits from American Idol?

Tuesday, February 8th, 2011

Beside the producers and the network, that is. How about the judges?

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Who needs viral when you’ve got Fox?

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

They flirted with this last season, but the promise of an all-Britney-Spears episode with Spears herself making an appearance cements the idea: Glee is now more than just a TV show, it’s a handy promotional tool for established pop stars, just like American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance. It won’t be long, I imagine, until that’s all it is. I expect the announcement of an all-Aerosmith episode any day now, with Steven Tyler as some student’s long-lost great-grandfather.

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New this week—3/28/10

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

Justin Bieber—“U Smile”
#27
Musically, this is the most pleasant thing Bieber has done since “One Less Lonely Girl”, but it’s still bland, and also a bit creepy. Bieber’s genuflection to his fan base is about as abject as can be, and the lack of emotional edge in his voice makes him sound more like a willing robot than a real live boy. For now, his tweener fans will remain steadfast, but sooner or later they’re going to want an idol of actual flesh and blood. If Bieber’s lucky, his handlers will eventually provide material that has some. If not, by this time next year we may have forgotten all about him.

T.I.—“I’m Back”
#44
I can understand T.I.’s desire to announce his freedom as loudly as possible, but this is over busy and confused, the bragging lost in a blare of baroque synths and vocal overkill. It’s impressive in its way, but it’s too much, and it gets wearing.

Spose—“I’m Awesome”
#54
Not the next Weird Al by a long shot. The lyrics are grade school level, and the only thing I find funny is the intentionally incompetent scratching—and even that feels forced and obvious.

Usher—“More”
#76
So intent on being on top of the trends that he renders himself unrecognizable, this is where Usher jumps the commercial shark. Combine this with his stint as a mentor on American Idol next week and you have the epitome of an imploding career. Good thing he’s got Justin Bieber as a back-up.

Disney’s Friends for Change (featuring Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato)—“Make a Wave”
#84
Since this sort of “I’m going to save the world by changing myself” rhetoric is Disney’s musical stock and trade, it makes sense that this would be less self-congratulatory and insipid than “We Are the World”. Only slightly, though. I’m also willing to bet that, unlike “We Are the World”, participation was not voluntary. Because nobody’s as self-congratulatory as the mouse.

The-Dream—“Love King”
#92
Though his talent is obvious, I’ve had my doubts about The-Dream’s (self-proclaimed) genius. This goes a long way toward dispelling them. “Love King” is so full of subtle, almost subliminal twists and turns in melody, rhythm, and harmony that every time I listen some new, wonderful touch reveals itself. The neatest trick, both artistically and commercially, comes at the end, when the volume for the last minute of the song drops by nearly half. It doesn’t fade, it just drops. What better way to get radio to play a five minute track than provide DJs with a full minute designed for them to talk over?

Maxwell—“Fistful of Tears”
#96
Maxwell’s material is so subtle that if you’re in the wrong mood, or unless, as on “Pretty Wings”, he hits everything just right, he has a tendency to fade into the background. Here, the line about nearly being driven insane trying to keep his girl from going crazy gets your attention, but the rest drifts a little too far into the ether. Maxwell’s musical and emotional obsessiveness is fascinating, but I’m not sure it’s enough to make him consistently compelling.

George Strait—“Gotta Get to You”
#100
It’s impossible not to admire Strait’s craftsmanship and taste—there’s not a single false step on this record—but as he ages each record seems to be another half-step toward muzak, and this one is a full step. With music this bland his self-assurance takes on a feeling of condescension, as if the success of his seductive moves is a forgone conclusion. Maybe it is, but being so obvious about it suggests that on some level he’s just as crude as any other good ol’ boy.

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New this week

Monday, October 12th, 2009

Glee Cast featuring Kristin Chenoweth
“Alone”, #51
“Maybe This Time” #88
The addition of actual Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth might be expected to add a level of polish, maybe even personality, or perhaps give the songs some satirical edge, but these tracks are as bland as everything else that has come out of the show, with the added detriment—especially on “Maybe This Time”—of the most irritating kind of Broadway mugging and hokiness. I’m beginning to think the blandness may be part of the appeal. Why else would that awful Queen cover be outselling everything else from the show?

Foo Fighters—”Wheels”
#73
Dave Grohl is a sincere, intelligent guy who makes sincere, intelligent alt-rock, and who’s capable, at his best, of tweaking the usual alt-rock self-actualization cliches just enough that they sound felt and almost not cliches. This is not Grohl at his best. The problem is the tempo, which overplays the sincerity and heightens the cliches so they’re impossible to miss. I don’t say this about many people, but I prefer Grohl when he’s shouting.

Paramore—”Careful”
#78
All those rumors about Hayley Williams going solo weren’t just the result of cynical music-biz thinking, they were an obvious reaction to the reality of Paramore: that Williams is more than just the public focus of the band, but also it’s creative center. Her lyrics are realistic without being cynical, hopeful without being sentimental, honest without being cruel. The band adds nothing but precisely played, often overwrought bombast. Williams may not have outgrown them yet, but just wait.

Kris Allen—”Live Like We’re Dying”
#89
Allen has apparently decided that the best way to maintain his post-American Idol career is to choose his material and sing it as if he were still a contestant. Hell, it made him a winner once, right?

Dierks Bentley—”I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes”
#91
This is like a scene from a country-themed Harlequin romance. It follows all the rules, and it’s supposed to be slow and seductive, but mostly it’s just slow, and too carefully calculated to be sexy. Bentley sounds sincere, but then all guys sound sincere when they’re they’re trying to get laid.

Reba—”Consider Me Gone”
#96
It starts off well, but like too many country songs it’s shifted deep into cliche by the time it gets to the chorus and never recovers. Reba’s vocals are fascinating, though—who needs autotune when you can stretch vowels like silly putty the way she does here.

Train—”Hey, Soul Sister”
#98
One of those songs where the forced cleverness of the music and lyrics outweighs whatever point the song is trying to make, which wasn’t much to begin with. This is like Jason Mraz with hypertension—not a pleasant sound at all.

LeToya featuring Ludacris—”Regret”
#100
This is more a recitation over a stylized musical background than it is a song, and Ludacris, to put it bluntly, is terrible: self-satisfied, pompous, crude, and never funny. Needless to say, he dominates the record.

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New this week

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Shakira—“She Wolf”
#34
If you’re going to go retro disco, Shakira says, go all the way–and she does. The sheer silliness of this record is dazzling. The bubbling bass line, the funk guitar, the distorted vocals, the panting, the strings. She even sings in a voice reminiscent of the phonetic pronunciation of German disco. And the lyrics, translated from Spanish, sound like bad subtitles. “Darling it is no joke, this is lycanthropy.” “I’m starting to feel just a little abused/like a coffee machine in an office.” “Nocturnal creatures are not so prudent.” She wolf, my ass, Shakira’s turned herself into something even better: the love child of Abba and Boney M.

OneRepublic with Sara Bareilles—“Come Home”
#80
The most hilariously awful record of 2009. The giggles start on the very first line—“Hello world, I hope you’re listening”—and when Ryan Tedder slips into his falsetto I totally lose it. Bareilles does her part as well, with a “yeah” that’s a perfect parody of singer-songwriter faux soulfulness. The laughs continue to the very end, where Tedder and Bareilles exchange urgent “come homes” and the piano finishes with a grace chord that’s the ultimate mixture of meaningless sentiment and pop smarm. Granted, the joke may sour a bit when this shows up in the repertoire of endless American Idol contestants, but for the moment it’s the best laugh the Hot 100 has given me all year. Flight of the Conchords couldn’t have done it any better.

Drake featuring Trey Songz—“Successful”
#89
This is smart, funny, and honest, but it also sounds, at first, like a mix tape goof that came off better than anyone had anticipated. The pivot point is Drake’s “I suppose”, which sound like nothing but lyrical filler at first, but ultimately provides the sense of self-doubt that drives the record and makes it something deeper than the usual “I want money” rap. Successful? What does that mean?

Jason Mraz—“If It Kills Me”
#92
If you overplay cute it curdles, and when your only talent is a certain offhand charm, it’s best not to go on for four and half minutes and overload your arrangement with strings. It makes you look even shallower than you really are.

Daughtry—“You Don’t Belong”
#95
The problem with post-grunge overkill is that what it usually kills is the emotion that inspired the song in the first place. This time, somehow, it doesn’t. I’d make no case for this being a great song, but whatever frustrations it’s meant to express come across despite its flaws. I don’t know if it’s the changes in vocal texture, the weird breaks in the meter, or just the way Daughtry shouts “No!” at the beginning of each chorus, but as one dimensional as the emotion may be, at least it’s there. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can say for Nickelback.

Darryl Worley—“Sounds Like Life To Me”
#99
Loaded with all sorts of homey details, just like a good country song is supposed to be, and yet it still sounds as phony as a three dollar bill. Not only does this not sound like life, it doesn’t sound like much of anything at all. But then, how many variations on “Shit Happens” can you produce and still make it register?

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