Posts Tagged ‘Avenged Sevenfold’

Hot 100 Roundup—5/21/11

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011

Lady Antebellum—”Just A Kiss”
#7

Definite proof that the near-great “Need You Now” was a fluke. This one, which is both mellow and overwrought in equal measure, concerns grown-up abstinence, and should relieve those who were worried by the drunken booty call of their biggest hit. Never fear; this record contains no sexual tension whatsoever. I’m surprised they can work up enough libido for even a goodnight kiss.

David Guetta featuring Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj—”Where Them Girls At”
#14

What makes Guetta and DJs like him different from his predecessors isn’t just the music, but the culture. Guetta’s followers aren’t blissed out on love and Ecstasy, they’re hard partying drunks, and the music Guetta makes isn’t designed to harmonize with chemically stimulated synapses but to deliver a final, convulsive jolt to dying brain cells, a death rattle with a beat. It’s the techno version of “Boogie Til You Puke”, minus the knowing sense of humor. This is Guetta’s most relentless record yet, and also his lamest. Flo Rida, who has never sounded duller, borrows his vocal flow from Pitbull and his hooks from…well, nowhere, because there aren’t any. But dammit it if Nicki Minaj doesn’t almost save things anyway. It’s worth suffering the rest at least once to hear her go “dee dee dee dee” in a voice that parodies every record Guetta has ever made, his entire aesthetic encapsulated in a few nonsense syllables. I wonder if he noticed.

Bad Meets Evil—”Fast Lane”
#32

I’m not sure which is more impressive, the fact that Royce Da 5’9″ keeps up with Eminem, or that Eminem keeps up with himself. Whatever the case, though this isn’t much beatwise, it’s an amazing display of vocal technique and wordcraft on both sides. Half the time I can’t tell what either one of them is saying, but it all rhymes, and on a record like this that’s all that matters.

Glee Cast
“Go Your Own Way”, #45
“Songbird”, #68
“Don’t Stop”, #79
“Never Going Back Again”, #81
“Dreams”, #92

New Boyz featuring Chris Brown—”Better With the Lights Off”
#61

The New Boyz continue to look for a style, and what I once took for corruption, as they moved further away from their jerkin’ roots, is now beginning to look like constant experimentation. Even with both Chris Brown and Cataracs on board, this is neither jerkin’ nor hip-hop; sounds more like rock run through some sort of techno-rap filter. There are only the slightest hints of the New Boyz’ teen cleverness on display, but the record is good enough it isn’t missed much, and there’s a pleasant shock of recognition when it does appear. I’m not sure if this is a great record, but it’s growing on me.

Avenged Sevenfold—”Not Ready To Die”
#70

More metal bombast, with extra arty touches, so that it goes on for more than seven over-baked minutes. The only interesting part is the intro, which is a direct, uncredited lift from Elton John’s “Funeral For A Friend”. They may not be ready to die, but are they ready to be sued?

Jennifer Lopez featuring Lil Wayne—”I’m Into You”
#72

Pleasant enough for fluff, but that’s all. I continue to be amazed, though, at how Lil Wayne can get off the dirtiest lines and still sound charming and innocent. Who does he think he is, Katy Perry?

Don Omar & Lucenzo—”Danza Kuduro”
#82

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 11/21/10

Dierks Bentley—”Am I the Only One”
#89

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/16/11

Thirty Seconds to Mars—”Closer To the Edge”
#99

I’m sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t hear you you above your ego.

New this week—5/30/10

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Miley Cyrus—”Can’t Be Tamed”
#8

Despite the usually sure handed Amato/James Rock Mafia putting this together, and the added controversy of Cyrus’s first “adult” video (i.e., one with bare legs, cleavage, and faux-Fosse dance moves), this isn’t that interesting of a record. There’s something flat and fuzzy about Cyrus’s voice, and the music follows suit. She certainly kisses off Disney, though, despite still being signed to their label. The video is one part of it, but there’s also a clever double-entendre reference to erections, and the words “go to hell” are followed with a digitally garbled voice that sounds like Donald Duck in one of his fits of frustration. Can there be such a thing as mature Disney pop? It will be interesting to find out, but this isn’t quite it.

Glee Cast
“Dream On” (featuring Neil Patrick Harris), #26
“I Dreamed A Dream” (featuring Idina Menzel), #31
“Safety Dance”, #81
“Bad Romance”, #86
“Poker Face”, #100

After two above average weeks (“above average” in the context of Glee, that is), the cast settles back into their usual sub-karaoke torpor. It’s no surprise that Neil Patrick Harris sings rock and roll better than any of the regular cast (who wouldn’t?), but he’s still worse than just about any other decent rock singer you could name. The GaGa covers are particularly awful, for which the production team is as much to blame as the singers: “Bad Romance” sounds like it’s being played by a lounge act, and whoever decided to use the slow version of “Poker Face” did both the singer and GaGa an incredible disservice.

3OH!3—”Touchin’ On My”
#49

This has it’s clever moments, especially the way the censorship bleeps are worked into the arrangement. For the most part, though, it’s the same old obvious, crude nonsense. Just what kind of self-respecting woman would want to *bleep* these guys, anyway?

Avenged Sevenfold—”Nightmare”
#51

I’m sure the band takes its satanist sentiments seriously, but this is the musical equivalent of an 11-year old trying to scare his little sister by turning off the lights, holding a flashlight under his chin, saying “evil” things, and laughing maniacally. It’s cute in a way, but I don’t think cute is what these guys were aiming for.

Muse—”Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever)”
#77

I don’t know enough about Muse to know whether they have a sense of humor, or even any brains. If they do, this is a brilliant piece of parody, a vicious, satiric swipe at Twilight fans and all the ridiculous pseudo-mystical, romantic mumbo-jumbo that surrounds the franchise. If they don’t, this is the most godawful, ridiculous record of the year, an unholy merger of U2, The Killers, and Andrew Lloyd Webber that has to be heard to be believed. Unfortunately, since their latest album includes titles such as “United States of Eurasia/Collateral Damage (Excerpt from Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2)” and “Exogenesis: Symphony, Part 2 (Cross-pollination)”, I suspect the latter. Still good for a laugh, though.

Christina Aguilera featuring Nicki Minaj—”Woohoo”
#79

I’m probably too hard on Aguilera, who really does try to stretch her own and her audiences boundaries, often in ways you’d least expect. But intentions aren’t the same as achievements, she always sounds to me as if she’s trying too hard, and all the risk-taking in the world doesn’t excuse the fact that she’s made a record about cunnilingus that doesn’t for a single moment sound dirty or even sexy. Nicki Minaj, who you would think would loosen things up, falls into lockstep with Aguilera and adds nothing but product placement and a bad Jamaican accent. Couldn’t she at least have offered to go down on Christina herself?

Zac Brown Band—”Free”
#95

Zac Brown is a country traditionalist at heart, which these days apparently means being firmly rooted in 70s folk/rock, traveling the backroads in a van fueled with nothing but love, phrasing like James Taylor, and borrowing ideas from the pre-Michael McDonald Doobie Brothers (who are starting to become as influential as The Eagles). Aren’t these the people Merle Haggard use to complain about?

Gyptian—”Hold You (Hold Yuh)”
#96

I’ve played this record five or six times in the last week. I just played it again. I still can’t remember any of it.