Posts Tagged ‘Brad Paisley’

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Controversy: Hot 100 Roundup—4/27/13

Friday, April 26th, 2013

As the weather warms up, so do the charts, and the result is weeks like this, with twelve debuts, and without even the excuse of a big album release or a TV singing competition (the pop-chart equivalent of steroids; they bulk you up, then they drive you insane). There is, however, controversy, which puts no less than three records on the chart this week. Add a YouTube phenom, a non-LP country (!) single, and a batch of new tracks from artists who have been away for awhile, and you almost have a case study in how records make the charts these days. All we need is a track from a commercial, one from a TV show, and somebody who died.

Psy—“Gentleman”
#12

The real secret of Psy’s success isn’t his goofiness in both looks and approach, or his so-called satire (he’s more an ironist than a satirist), but his masterful command of pop structure. “Gangnam Style” was probably the best structured pop record to hit the chart since Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”, and “Gentleman”, though simpler, is even tighter. It also helps that he knows how to write captivating melodies over his austere beats, and comes up with lyrics that, even if you don’t know what they mean, fit perfectly in terms of sound with the beats and the music. In other words, Psy’s success isn’t just a freak happening; he really knows what he’s doing.

Luke Bryan—“Crash My Party”
#80

This is a surprise, at least in business terms: a non-LP single released at the same time as the album, which already had a lead-in single, “Buzzkill” released a month ago. But then, “Buzzkill” hasn’t done that well (it’s been sitting at 38 on the Hot Country Songs chart for three weeks now and isn’t on the airplay chart at all), and with the increasing power of digital in the country market an experiment like this makes a lot of sense. It also sets up a possible deluxe edition of Spring Break…Here To Party sometime in the near future. But even though I have a soft spot for non-LP singles and think there should be more of them, the mediocrity of this record leaves me cold. For a guy who’s supposedly making party records, Bryan sure does have a fondness for sluggish tempos.

Hunter Hayes—“I Want Crazy”
#43

Remove Hayes’s vocals and what you have is a Nashville session group’s version of Mumford & Sons, or rather what Nashville session groups think M&S would sound like if they were country boys who could actually play. This is interesting. Put Hayes’s vocals back in, though, and all the interest goes away.

Selena Gomez—“Come & Get It”
#45

I’m all for Gomez becoming a dance music diva, but if she’s going to succeed she needs to find better material than this, and she especially needs to find something that suits her voice. She’s trying too hard on the chorus, and the strain shows. The best part of this record is the bridge, where her voice matches perfectly with the music and you can hear the promise in it. Working with Esther Dean and StarGate isn’t going to fulfill that promise, though. I hope there are some RockMafia cuts on the album. They know how to set her voice better than anyone else ever has.

Ray J featuring Bobby Brackins—“I Hit It First”
#51

There are, of course, examples of rap sexism more despicable than this, but not by much. Whatever you think about Kim Kardashian and her version of celebrity for celebrity’s sake (I don’t think about her at all, myself), no woman—no human being—deserves to be talked about the way Ray J talks about her here. That is, as an object (not even an object, but an amorphous thing, an “it”, desired for nothing but sexual pleasure) to be passed around, with the first person to temporarily enjoy its services claiming permanent ownership, even though they’ve long ago moved on to other “its”. In terms of maturity, this song is roughly the equivalent of blog commenters shouting “First!” I just hope Kanye West doesn’t make an answer record: anything he could do would only be stepping down to Ray J’s level, and suggest that his feelings for Kardashian aren’t on a much higher plane.

Avril Lavigne—“Here’s To Never Growing Up”
#52

Written by Lavigne, her producer, her boyfriend, and a couple of song doctors, this is product at it’s purest. I bet her boyfriend wrote the chorus, since he’s shown a talent for that sort of thing in the past, and the rest was filled in from various Ke$ha records. I wonder which of the five came up with the Radiohead line, the only hint of life in the entire track? Does anyone actually shout along to Radiohead, though?

Brad Paisley featuring LL Cool J—“Accidental Racist”
#77

If this record stopped before LL Cool J comes in, you’d have a sincere, if often mistaken, attempt to make sense of the disconnections of southern life, history, and myth. It wouldn’t be a great record, and it would still, especially in the country market, be a controversial one, but it wouldn’t be the laughing stock LL Cool J’s ignorant presence turns it into. I can forgive the clumsiness of his rap (it’s not like Paisley gave him much a of a beat to work with), but not the stupidity of it, which is half ignorance and half the entertainer’s desire to play along and reinforce his host’s point of view no matter what that might be. If there’s a demonstration of anyone’s moral corruption on this record, it isn’t Paisley’s. Not that Paisley is right. Any form of southern pride that embraces the myth of the confederacy as opposed to the reality (face it, folks, your ancestors fucked up, and for all the wrong reasons), should be rejected by anyone with half a brain. Maybe Paisley realizes that, but if so it doesn’t come across here.

Paramore—“Still Into You”
#83

Cutting down to a three piece has worked wonders for this band. First off, it allows them to concentrate on playing up to the strengths of Haley Williams’s songs instead of rolling over them and squeezing the life out. Second, and even better, Williams rises to the opportunity by broadening her approach, widening her emotional palette, and refusing to back down from her view of reality. The end result, Paramore, is the artistic breakthrough of the year, the equivalent, say, of what Soundgarden did on Superunknown, or Lil Wayne did on Tha Carter III. There are a couple of ordinary songs, and a couple of less than successful experiments, but there are no bad tracks, and the best of them are more than great, they’re revelatory. Even when Paramore utilize pop cliches (pomp-rock synthesizers, gospel choirs, ukelele), they make them signify by putting them in service to William’s sarcastic, angry, never bitter, and ultimately optimistic point of view (the gospel choir goes “Don’t go crying to your mama/’Cause you’re on your own in the real world”).

“Still Into You” is a love song, of sorts, but one dedicated not to new love but to a long standing relationship. Williams removes any chance of sentimentality by singing it in a slilghtly sneering but still emotional voice, as if she felt the need to cover up her gooier feelings for fear of making a fool of herself. It’s a perfect match for the music, which rocks up and remakes what would otherwise be a hackneyed set of changes. Williams means every word, though, and the verse about meeting her boyfriend’s mother and then telling him for the first time that she loves him is perfect, even in its ambiguity (was meeting mom wonderful? terrible? The sentiment works either way, and we don’t really need to know). Here’s hoping they can continue in this vein for a long while to come.

WE the Kings—“Just Keep Breathing”
#92

I knew there’d be fun. imitators, I just didn’t think they’d be this bad. But how could they not be, when fun. itself skirts the edge of self-parody? Maybe I was lying to myself.

Scotty McCreery—“See You Tonight”
#94

I wish his material was better, but McCreery is turning into one hell of a singer. It’s not just his voice, which has always been a wonder, but the way he handles it. He knows he sounds best when he’s smooth and controlled, so he makes a point of never overstepping, even on the chorus (he also wisely downplays his lower register, which was beginning to sound like a gimmick). As his voice matures, that control is going to sound even better. Now he just needs to find more mature songs. He’s only nineteen, so it makes sense for him to still be singing material pointed at a teen market, and this is smarter than it appears at first. But in another year he’ll be beyond this sort of corn-fed, safe romanticism. Here’s hoping he’s smart enough to make something out of it.

Fabolous featuring Chris Brown—“Ready”
#97

Brown’s hook is bland and the beat is nothing, but even if they were better I would find it impossible to listen after Fabolous says “get your shit wetty/Oops I mean your shit ready, can’t believe I said that”. I can. Fabolous may not be the dumbest rapper in the world, but he’s certainly the dumbest on the charts.

Rocko featuring Future & Rick Ross—“U.O.E.N.O.”
#99

Decent beat, good hook from Future, a competent rap from Rocko, and then in steps Rick Ross and his big mouth to mess everything up. And I don’t just mean the molly-rape lyric. Ross has become so full of himself that almost every word he utters drips with self-love, so much so that he’s lost the ability to distinguish between what’s “street” and what’s stupid. If he says it, it must be right, right? His product-placing of Reebok (right before the rape line; no wonder they dropped his ass) is on a much lower level of offensiveness, but it’s still offensive, and the rest is nonsense. What’s even more depressing is that even without the controversy this would probably still have made the chart on name recognition alone. That’s how rap works these days, and this is what you get.

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Buzzkillers: Hot 100 Roundup—3/23/13

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Luke Bryan—“Buzzkill”
#74

Through most of the first verse, I kept hoping that “Buzzkill” was about Bryan castigating one of his drinking buddies and that it was at least meant to be funny. Once he added the adjective “little” to the title, though, I knew it was another girl-who’s-driving-me-crazy song, with just enough of a twist to make it seem original. The biggest twist is the tempo, which is slow enough to make nonsense of the lyric, and leaves you to wonder if Bryan has figured out where the emotional center of the song lies. The protagonist could be angry, sad, sardonic, whatever, but Bryan doesn’t seem to be going for any of those. He does realize that “wimp” isn’t an emotion, right?

Kelly Rowland—“Kisses Down Low”
#96

Rowland has been on a lot of records that made the Hot 100 over the last year or two, but only one of them, “Motivation” with Lil Wayne, was worth listening to. Two of them, including “Kisses Down Low”, are among the worst R&B records of the last six months (the other is Ludacris’s “Representin’”). “Kisses” is actually the worst of the two, a record so obvious and blatantly pandering it’s hard to believe that anyone with any self-respect would release it (Beyonce has recorded orgasms that are more subtle). I have no idea whether Rowland is running her own career or has put it in the hands of someone else, but whatever the case she’d better find another caretaker soon. If she had been in a group like the Pussycat Dolls, it wouldn’t matter. But coming from Destiny’s Child and having a solo career reminiscent of Nicole Scherzinger’s? Somebody’s making a big mistake somewhere, and I suspect it’s Rowland herself.

Brad Paisley—“Beat This Summer”
#97

The most open-minded artist in the most closed-minded of genres, Brad Paisley finds himself in a bind. He obviously feels the need to expand his music and his themes beyond the limitations of modern country, but at the same time doesn’t want to offend his audience or move so far out that they can’t follow him. The last thing Paisley wants is to come on as an elitist or spell artist with a capitol “A”. Hence the breezy likability of his stronger message songs, such as “American Saturday Night” and “Welcome To the Future”, and the sometimes bizarre tightrope-walking of “Southern Comfort Zone”. At the opposite pole, on a simple, nostalgic love song like “Beat This Summer”, Paisley feels free to pull out all the musical stops, deconstructing the rhythm track, applying decidedly un-country melodic intervals in the chorus, and tossing in sound effects and yet another peerless guitar solo. But by taking the music too seriously Paisley loses track of the song and it’s lighter-weight pleasures. In the end, the two ideas cancel each other out, and we’re left with a beautifully crafted track that doesn’t make much of an impression. Paisley is so smart he’ll work out his difficulties eventually, but I’m not counting on it happening this year.

Juicy J featuring Big Sean and Young Jeezy—“Show Out”
#98

Mid-level rappers bragging over Mike Will Made-It beats have become something of a sub-genre in the last year or so, and here’s another one. The beats are still good, but they’re starting to become repetitive. As for the rappers, there’s a reason they’re mid-level.

Phillip Phillips—“Gone, Gone, Gone”
#100

Not a Lefty Frizzell cover, unfortunately (I doubt if Phillips would even know who he is); just another Mumford & Sons imitation. Phillips is less pretentious than Mumford, and puts a little more variety in his music. That is, he’s more pop. But that doesn’t make him any better. It might even make him worse, if such a thing is possible. Better than the Lumineers, though, for what that’s worth.

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A Week of Near Misses
Hot 100 Roundup—10/19/12

Wednesday, October 17th, 2012

One Direction—“Live While We’re Young”
#3

I have nothing against party music or teen lust, and I could even forgive the Clash rip-off of the intro, but this is crass and insulting. “Let’s get some” is not something you say to a sexual partner, even a one-night-stand, it’s something you say to your brain-dead buddies when you go out looking for sex. Since finding willing partners is no longer a problem for these guys, it may not seem to matter to them what they say, but in reality it matters more. Either they don’t understand that, or they don’t give a shit. Plus, they didn’t give The Clash credit for that intro, so fuck ‘em.

Taylor Swift—“Red”
#6

Taylor Swift loves words. She loves the way they flow and mesh and swerve and can double up meaning and emotion with the slightest change in emphasis. She loves them so much she overstocked “Red” with them and then felt she had to come up with an arrangement to match. Her willingness to experiment is appreciated, but this goes too far. And not all the words work: the Maserati reference is wrong for her, and some of the similes fall flat. Still, I wish half the songwriters in America tried this hard.

Adele—“Skyfall”
#8

Not only the best Bond theme since Paul McCartney’s “Live and Let Die”, but the best thing Adele has ever done as well. The lushness of the string arrangement is perfect for her, allowing her voice to cut through like a knife, and a vast improvement on the harsh sound of her previous records. Not having to fight with the arrangement let’s her focus on the emotion of the song in a way she hasn’t in the past, and gives her a chance to be subtle instead of pounding the listener over the head with the power of her voice. The song itself is something of a pastiche, especially the arrangement, but it’s a great sound, and if it encourages Adele to sing like this I’m all for it.

Bruno Mars—“Locked Out of Heaven”
#34

I actively enjoy a lot of Mars’s music, and the fact that he has a working knowledge of the entire history of rock and roll only makes me like him more. That knowledge hasn’t yet synthesized into a personal style, though, so when he decides, as in this case, to base a song on the early days of The Police, all he comes up with is pastiche. It’s alright to wear your influences on your sleeve, but if you don’t rise above them you end up looking like a hack.

Brad Paisley—“Southern Comfort Zone”
#73

Paisley walks a very fine line on “Southern Comfort Zone”, which is easily his best single since “American Saturday Night”. Like that song, this is about expanding the horizon of country music, admitting, and even enjoying, the existence of a world outside the rural stereotypes that dominate the genre. The deepest moment comes at the end of the second verse, when Paisley says that he knows what it’s like to be in the minority. It’s a plea not just for a broadening of outlook beyond the south, but for greater tolerance at home as well. He’s careful, though, to soften the message as much as possible, layering spoken bits from The Andy Griffith Show, Nascar, and The Grand Old Opry over the intro and the outro, emphasizing that he always wants to come back home, and assuring his fans that a life outside the south doesn’t automatically lead to debauchery, since the only “west coast girl” he’s kissing is his wife. I have my doubts about the choir singing “Dixie”, though. It’s a musical triumph, especially when it’s paired with his guitar solo, and for Paisley it’s obviously the ultimate form of southern pride, but to a lot of people, including me, it’s also a symbol of the Confederacy and the antebellum south. Paisley has already declared his hatred of racism, and it may only be a sign of my own narrow point of view that I’m bothered by this, but I worry that Paisley thinks he’s living in a post-racist world where southern pride has been safely cleansed of the memory of slavery. I wish he was right, but he isn’t. Still, Nashville needs more songwriters who love the tradition but also question its flaws and weaknesses. I only hope that Paisley’s influence will be as powerful as his music.

Kid Cudi featuring King Chip—“Just What I Am”
#74

A hymn to self-delusion, this may be as deep as a pro-marijuana song can ever get. While dope rappers like Wiz Khalifa are just having fun, Cudi is self-medicating, hoping to alleviate the mental issues that his therapists and prescription medication don’t. Whether that’s because they can’t work or Cudi lacks the patience to let them is open to question. His defiant tone suggests the latter. Whatever the case, Cudi sounds more focused and on top of things than in the past, as if his anger at his situation had cleared away some of his confusion. If he is self-medicating, though, I wouldn’t count on it to last.

Gary Allan—“Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain)”
#78

If you’d written a song encouraging someone to start over again after a bad breakup, and filled it with images of storms lifting and new beginnings, would you base the arrangement on an earlier song that embraces death? Neither would I. Then again, after 35 years of being inured to it on oldies radio, most people have probably forgotten what “Don’t Fear the Reaper” is about, and those chord changes are a perfect fit with the Allan’s storm metaphors. So, hell, why not? Most people won’t even notice the disconnect, but whenever Allan sings about standing on the edge and setting yourself free over those doom-laden chord changes, all I hear is an invitation to suicide. And I can’t help but wonder if that message isn’t being conveyed even to those who aren’t familiar with Blue Oyster Cult. The music has it’s influence, after all, regardless of the lyrics. Not that I’m expecting a wave of suicides below the Mason-Dixon line if this becomes a hit, but a surge in depression statistics wouldn’t surprise me.

Glee Cast—“The Scientist”
#91

Mumford & Sons—“Lover Of the Light”
#97

Another muddle of personal relationship and religion, and though Mumford sounds like he knows what he’s singing about, I doubt if anybody else does. That includes the band, who go through their regular soft/loud, stop/start business regardless. The instrumental break may be the most vacant thing they’ve ever produced.

DJ Drama, 2 Chainz, Meek Mill, Jeremih—“My Moment”
#99

A better than average rap uplift song, but the arrangement is too busy and the meaning, such as there is, gets lost. I’m still trying to determine whether Drama’s shout at the end is intended as a parody of DJ Khaled or just a following along. I hope it’s the former; Drama’s too talented to waste on Khaled’s brand of nonsense.

Randy Houser—“How Country Feels”
#100

This is as ordinary as country-rock gets, but at least Houser has the good taste not to stress the double entendre of the title. Then again, maybe that’s why this is so ordinary.

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A Fistful of Mumfords
Hot 100 Roundup—10/12/12

Thursday, October 4th, 2012

A week of big names, with three new records debuting in the top 20. A great Taylor Swift (the third in a month, with more coming each week up to the release of the album on the 22nd, when I expect all the remaining tracks to appear on the chart—she’s done it before), disappointing Ke$ha, mediocre Rihanna, Flo Rida, Pitbull channeling Toots and the Maytals, and more Mumford’s than you can shake a banjo at. Next week promises more of the same: Swift again, Bruno Mars, One Direction, Kid Cudi, Brad Paisley, Gary Allan, and, oh yeah, Adele.

Taylor Swift—“Begin Again”
#7

For the first of the preview singles leading up to the release of Red (the second, the title song, is already out), Swift takes a conservative turn, falling back on the soaring romanticism she’s famous for, with carefully placed steel guitar to keep her country audience happy. But this commercial calculation doesn’t take anything away from “Begin Again” or keep it from being one the best records she’s made. If there’s another songwriter at the moment who’s capable of capturing small romantic moments with as much skill and grace as Swift, I haven’t heard them. The verses set the stage, and the middle-eight is a delight, but it’s the chorus, which may be the best thing Swift has yet written, that makes this a great record. I only have one question: when Swift wrote the song’s best line, “I’ve been spending the last eight months/thinking all love ever does/is break, and burn, and end” did she realize she was echoing the 18th century English poet John Donne’s Holy Sonnet XIV (“That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend/Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.”)? I wouldn’t put it past her.

Ke$ha—“Die Young”
#13

In pop music, professionalism is essential, but it’s also a curse. “Die Young” is intelligent and professionally crafted, but it contains the merest whiff of inspiration. There are a few good moments, but overall it’s the dullest record Ke$ha has ever made. Considering the stuff that Ke$ha put out since her last album–the Dylan cover (terrible, but never boring), the collaboration with The Flaming Lips–”Die Young” is a surprising disappointment. Sounds like she was trying too hard.

Rihanna—“Diamonds”
#16

Written by Sia, produced by Stargate, and with a weird, Robyn-inspired vocal on the intro that has been noted by many, so much so that I’m beginning to think of all the attention paid to the Scandinavian influence on “Diamonds” as cover for the mediocrity of the rest of the track. Structurally “Diamonds” sounds odd and disconnected, and yet the arrangement is ordinary and, compared to what Rihanna has been doing the last couple of years, conservative. Considering she had just released a remix of “Cockiness”, it seems strange to issue a new single so quickly. But then, “Cockiness” was received with a yawn, so maybe this was a rush job to save face.

Mumford & Sons
“Babel”, #60
“Lover’s Eyes”, #85
“Whispers In the Dark”, #86
“Holland Road”, #92
“Ghosts That We Knew”, #94

In musical terms Mumford & Sons have improved since their first album. The arrangements are straightforward and less cluttered, the lyrics more pointed and less confused. They’ve still got a long way to go, though. Since they don’t possess much of a melodic gift and lack rhythmic variety, they fall back on gimmicks to get their point across: sudden stops and starts, dynamic shifts, and lurches in tempo are the only real tools they possess. They tend to use the same tricks, to the same effect, over and over again, often within a single song. It’s tiresome, but their unerring precision keeps the tracks moving even when there’s not much else going on.

What is going on, most of the time, is rage. I wish I could tell you what their anger is about or directed towards, but the lyrics are vague and fall too readily into cliche, making it difficult to get a clear picture. Biblical imagery suits them, but it doesn’t clarify their ideas. That may be a good thing, since many of these songs revolve around the perfidy of women, or one woman anyway. It’s possible the lyrics are about something else–society in general, or the church–and the feminine pronoun is a way of personalizing the imagery. But that only makes it worse. If Mumford is striking back against a real woman who did him wrong, his imagery would be acceptable, but not if it’s intended as allegory. The world has endured enough Bible-based misogyny. The last place we need it is in pop music, which has too much of its own misogyny already.

Flo Rida—“I Cry”
#81

The serious subject matter of “I Cry”–the mass murder in Norway, the death of a sister–explains the lack of a new hook from this hook machine, but it doesn’t explain the usual club-banging arrangement. Talking about tears falling into a champagne bucket doesn’t elicit much sympathy, either. In most cases, when a pop star who’s traded in party music releases a “serious” record, it’s a sign their days on top are coming to an end. Next stop: a greatest hits album with a couple of new tracks. Should be a good one.

Pitbull featuring TJR—“Don’t Stop the Party”
#89

Another insane track from Pitbull, and a perfect example of a sample chain. Having heard TJR’s funk/house track, “Funky Vodka”, Pitbull brought the producer into the studio, and re-edited and remixed the track with his vocals over the top. Like so many dance records, “Funky Vodka” itself was based on a sample: Toots and the Maytals’s “Funky Kingston”. So if you want, you can credit Toots Hibbert with writing the riff that makes the song move, though he no doubt borrowed it from someone else. Whatever the case, Pitbull’s version isn’t a desecration: all he does is up the party atmosphere and modernize the sound. He also delivers one of the best lines I’ve ever heard from him, mixing his usual bragging with a healthy dose of Latino pride: “Just cause you ain’t me, don’t hate me/As a matter fact you should thank me/Even if you don’t, you’re welcome, yankees”.

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Oh, Grow Up

Friday, September 28th, 2012

This week, for some reason, has been “I hate rap week”. Maybe it’s overload, or the knowledge that with every week there’s going to be another record in which: 1) mediocre rappers will brag about how much money they make, how much dope they smoke, and how much pussy they get; 2) Lil Wayne will become even more irrelevant. Whatever the case, the feeling has been overwhelming. There are a lot of promising young rappers out there (Kendrick Lamar; Danny Brown; A$AP Rocky; even Lil B if you sift through enough of his endless flood of mixtapes), and there are plenty of older rappers who are still making high quality stuff, but most of what makes the Hot 100 is repetitive, unimaginative, and mediocre.

As a middle-aged white guy, even one who’s been listening to and enjoying rap for over thirty years, I need to be careful how I say things. As my distaste for the current trends crept over me, I started to worry that I was too old to get this stuff anymore, that I was too distant from the culture to understand what was going on, that maybe even a touch of xenophobia was starting to rear its ugly head and inject itself into my opinions. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that it couldn’t be true. Not because such a thing isn’t possible (we all have our prejudices, and they often change in ways we don’t anticipate), but because everything that I dislike about current rap is also what I dislike about current mainstream country. The endless parade of mediocre country boys that I mentioned in my last post is almost the exact equivalent to the mediocre rap talents who have flooded the charts over the last two years or so.

In other words, the trends that bother me so much aren’t based in race or location (urban vs. rural), or even in commercially reinforced stereotypes, they’re based on the culture of young men with too much money, too much time, too big an ego, too narrow a point of view, and not enough sense.

The only difference between the two, as far as I can see, is the language. So I’ve created a handy, somewhat tongue and cheek chart that you can use to translate between and compare the two genres. Let me know if I’ve missed anything, or if I’m suggesting equivalencies that don’t work. But I think this gets pretty close to the reality.

Rap Country
My hood My small town
My crib My farm
Street Muddy road
7-11 Walmart
Maybach Pickup truck (Dodge, Ford, or Chevy)
Lamborghini Harley-Davidson
Mercedes Benz John Deere
Blunt Smoke
40 Beer
Hennesey’s Jack Daniels
Champagne Bartles & James
Tequila Tequila
Glock/9MM/AK-47/machine gun/shotgun Hunting rifle/shotgun
Dealing Working
Fucking Making love/fishing
Shorty Darlin’
Stripper Honky tonk angel
Working the pole Shaking on the tailgate
My boo My beau
Mama Mother
Babymama Wife
Bitch The ex
Booty Badonkadonk
Pussy Never heard of it
Never heard of it Foreplay (hugging, kissing, running my hands through your hair, etc.)
Dick Fishing pole/pickup truck/big green tractor
Riding Cruising
Flashing lights Moon/Head lights
Gucci/Louis Vuitton/Versace Carhart/Dickies/Levis
Colors Flag (US or Confederate)
Black pride American/country pride
God/Allah/Jah/Jesus Jesus
Hashtags Bad puns

There’s always hope, though. Brad Paisley’s new single, “Southern Comfort Zone”, advises his country brethren to get out of their shell and see the rest of the world. It’s his best record since “American Saturday Night”. I just hope some of his peers pay attention. And if anybody knows of a rapper who does the same, send me a line.

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Half ‘n’ Half
Hot 100 Roundup—8/11/12

Friday, August 10th, 2012

Pusha T & Kanye West—“New God Flow”
#89
West, like he always does, runs away with this record at the end, when his chant promoting G.O.O.D. Music takes over (doing a call and response with himself is not only funny but powerful in a way I can’t quite explain). But Pusha T comes close to being his equal, and gets off a great opening line: “I believe there’s a God above me, I’m just the god of everything else”. He also sums up their pairing better than I ever could: “A hot temper matched with a cold killer”. Near perfect, and my favorite G.O.O.D. single so far.

2 Chainz featuring Kanye West—“Birthday Song”
#91
Those who argue that West is lowering himself by appearing on this record ignore his desire to prove himself the master of every kind of music, including slow grind car bangers. They also ignore the fact that his presence forces 2 Chainz to up his game. 2 Chainz isn’t a genius, but he does better here than he usually does, and if I were the sort of person who spent their time driving slow through the hood I’d be playing this a lot.

Nicki Minaj—“Pound The Alarm”
#92
A sound-alike follow-up to “Starships”—same production team, same basic structure and formula—less daring, but more enjoyable. Of course, that might just be my ears adjusting to the style, if it can be called that. Still hard to tell whether there’s any real point to this sort of hodgepodge other than making hit records. Minaj is too smart (I think) and too sly not to have something up her sleeve, but other than cutting sampling artists like Girl Talk off at the pass (or making their job easier), I can’t quite hear what it is. Unless the cut and paste is the point, in which case we’ve heard it before.

Miranda Lambert—“Fastest Girl In Town”
#93
Back in the days of “Kerosene” and “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”, songs like this seemed fresh and daring, but now they’re as expected (and not just from Lambert) as patriotic songs are from Toby Keith or truck songs are from everybody. It’s not bad, and almost anything from Lambert is better than 95% of the rest of the country chart, but this is the sort of record she could make in her sleep, and there are moments where it sounds as if she did just that.

Rascal Flatts—“Come Wake Me Up”
#98
I still swear that Rascal Flatts have gotten better since their old label closed up and they moved to Big Machine, but that belief is founded on “Changed”, which is easily the best record they’ve ever made, and not on this, which is more of the same old oversized power-balladry. There are a couple of smaller-scale moments where they sound almost human, but the chorus, and the orchestra that accompanies it, are designed to knock you over with the intensity of the singer’s pain, and unless he’s accidentally cut his hand off or got his penis caught in his fly it just isn’t worth all that noise.

Chris Young—“Neon”
#100
A wasted opportunity. The change-up in the first verse from celebrating the beautiful colors of the flyover states to celebrating the glow of beer signs is a great idea, but Young is too timid and tasteful a singer to capitalize on it. Once he gets that gentle, swelling groove going he doesn’t want to lose it, so even when he sings about getting a buzz on he sounds like he’s drinking ice tea at a church picnic. Toby Keith, Brad Paisley, hell, even Scotty McCreery would know what to do with an idea like this, but Young is too busy being smooth and elegant and emphasizing his craggy lower vocal range to get the point.

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Sincerely Uninspired
Hot 100 Roundup—5/19/12

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

B.o.B. featuring Taylor Swift—“Both of Us”
#18
Well-meaning, well-crafted sincerity, devoid of any deep emotion. Swift’s hook is gorgeous, and B.o.B., despite the clichéd lyric, gets a certain intensity into his voice, but not even the most talented pop artists could make much of such generic sentiments. As the success of “We Are Young” suggests, we’re going to get a lot more of what I call “get together” music in the near future, which is a good thing overall. But fun. had the sense to include some specific personal details in their anthem; this is just B.o.B. and Swift wishing the world well and signing off. I expect more from both of them, especially Swift.

Carrie Underwood—“Blown Away”
#66
Is Linkin Park writing Underwood’s songs now? Because that’s what this reminds me of more than anything else. I know she has good intentions and is trying to do something serious (the obvious precursor is Garth Brooks’s “The Thunder Rolls”), but the record starts too big and then never really builds; it just goes on, without giving you enough detail to justify the overwrought arrangement. I appreciate Underwood’s willingness to experiment, but she’s either trying too hard or being misled. Couldn’t she get her pal Brad Paisley to produce an album for her? She could use his sense of proportion.

Juliet Simms—“It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World”
#70

Glee Cast—“Shake It Out”
#71

Jana Kramer—“Why Ya Wanna”
#97
Kramer’s traditionalism is refreshing, but her songs aren’t. This is fine, but it’s also ordinary, and it lacks something to give it a kick and allow her real personality to come through. Though I like Kramer better, in its own way this is as mechanical as Lady Antebellum.

The Band Perry—“Postcard From Paris”
#100
This shares all the strengths of the band’s previous singles—the clever turns of phrase, the melodic grace, the youthful romanticism—only in a milder form, and in a way that makes them feel rote. But then, this is the fifth single from their first LP, so it’s understandable if the inspiration seems pale this time out. Where’s that new album?

Listen on Spotify

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Hot 100 Roundup—12/17/11

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

Glee Cast
“Perfect”, #57
“Girls Just Want To Have Fun”, #59
“I Kissed A Girl”, #66
“I’m the Only One”, #86
“Constant Craving”, #89

Nicki Minaj—”Roman In Moscow”
#64
Not sure what to make of this. It’s so busy you can barely understand the lyrics, and those you do aren’t worth getting excited about. Just over two and a half minutes long, it sounds more like the introduction to something bigger than a standalone single, except the something bigger is a bunch of bonus cuts attached to a “deluxe” edition of Pink Friday. Maybe it’s a commercial.

Grouplove—”Tongue Tied”
#78
Another group of privileged white kids (they met at an art school in Crete) who owe their chart placement to an advertisement for a well-considered, hip product. That being said, I like it. Though it’s about lost teen love, it avoids sentiment; it has a good, early 90′s, pre-Britpop groove, and though cloying in spots it’s never embarrassing. Unless the idea of privileged white kids making bouncy pop music embarrasses you already.

J. Cole featuring Trey Songz—”Can’t Get Enough”
#82
The pseudo-Latin groove is funny, but it’s also stupid, and not in a good way. Cole earned a lot of respect as a promising young rapper in his mix-tape days, but it’s impossible to tell from this which direction that promise pointed, or if it was there at all. As for Trey Songz, I’m not even sure which part is him.

Michael Buble—”It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas”
#96
I like Buble, but when he turns on the syrup, except in the service of sarcastic songs like “Hollywood Is Dead”, he can be unbearable. Not only is this treacle, but by subsuming himself in it Buble drowns every trace of his personality. It may as well be karaoke.

Brad Paisley—”Camouflage”
#100
Brad-Paisley-guitar-solo is one of my favorite country sub-genres right now, and this time it comes not only with a good song attached, but allows other members of the band to stretch out over the changes as well. The music is a pleasure, but the lyrics are problematic. For the most part they’re funny and unpretentious, but then you come to this line: “The Stars and Bars offend some folks/and I guess I see why”. Guess? On his last album Paisley called out the KKK and celebrated the election of an African-American President, and now he has to guess why people are offended by the Confederate flag? And just who are these “some folks”, anyway? There are three possible explanations for this misstep: carelessness (a trait Paisley hasn’t demonstrated much of in the past); pandering (ditto); or this is as deep as his thinking has gone on the matter. Not that anything could excuse it. Oh, and those chord changes everyone solos over with such dexterity? “Dixie”. Southern pride is one thing; thoughtlessness is another matter altogether.

Listen on Spotify

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Hot 100 Roundup—9/10/11

Sunday, September 25th, 2011

Pistol Annies—”Hell On Heels”
#55
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/23/11

Martina McBride—”I’m Gonna Love You Through It”
#77
Taking Brad Paisley at his word, McBride serves up a country song about cancer, and doesn’t hesitate to say the C word right up front. She also doesn’t hesitate to layer the record with as much string-laden sentiment as it can hold, and then pours on some more. After her last two singles, and especially “Teenage Daughters”, I thought McBride was going to make something new and interesting out of her career, but it must be harder to break out of that Nashville mold than I thought.

David Guetta featuring Jennifer Hudson—”Night Of Your Life”
#81
It’s bad enough that Guetta is a mediocre DJ, but Hudson is an absolutely hopeless disco singer. You can argue about whether Guetta should be allowed to make records, but there’s no doubt that Hudson shouldn’t be allowed to sing stuff like this.

Steve Holy—”Love Don’t Run”
#90
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/2/11

Florence + The Machine—”What the Water Gave Me”
#91
Let me guess: A totally self-absorbed belief in your own pretensions? The Pocket Guide to Romantic Suicide Imagery? A free pass to the nearest Renaissance Faire?

Ronnie Dunn—”Cost of Livin’”
#96
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 8/13/11

Wale featuring Jerimeh & Rick Ross—”That Way”
#98
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 8/27/11

Game—”Martians Vs Goblins”
#100
I assume that this scraped it’s way onto the charts because people wanted to hear Game making rude suggestions about Bruno Mars along with many others. I can’t think of any other reason to listen to it. My only question is whether Lil Wayne actually contributed to this track or Game used a sample. If the latter, that may be the biggest insult on the record.

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Hot 100 Roundup—6/25/11

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

Paramore—”Monster”
#36
As their craft improves their energy, though still strong, becomes more streamlined and automatic, and less interesting. This is above-average pop-metal, but if the song weren’t so obviously about the band’s fractious split last year, would anybody care?

Brad Paisley with Carrie Underwood—”Remind Me”
#59
Frustrating. It’s a good idea for a song, the chorus is cute and catchy, and Paisley’s first guitar solo is as erotic as country ever gets. But Paisley loses control of this record somehow, which is rare for him. By the end, the arrangement seems designed to drown out the singers, and since we’re talking about Carrie Underwood, more drowning out is required than normal ears can stand; some of her high notes are so piercing they could be used in invisible fencing systems.

Pitbull—”Pause”
#73
A gimmicky confection based on what I assume is a Euro-disco sample, which, coming from Pitbull, is just about my favorite sub-genre right now. It gets a bit tiresome when you sit and listen, but I bet it kills on the dance floor. Pitbull isn’t a genius, but he knows what he wants and he knows how to get it. His single-mindedness may be his greatest virtue.

Dia Frampton—”Heartless”
#78
I’ve been debating whether I should refuse to comment on The Voice singles the same way I have Glee, and this record, horrible in every way, certainly makes me lean in that direction. I understand the power of television to make hits, but this, even more than Glee, is an unjustifiable waste of time and energy. It isn’t a waste of talent though, because no actual talent is involved.

Selena Gomez & the Scene—”Bang Bang Bang”
#94
What has always separated producers Tim James and Antonina Armato (otherwise known, unfortunately, as Rockmafia) from their Disney-pop colleagues is the undercurrent of smoldering eroticism that runs through their music. Even though they’re making straight pop records in a time of excess, they almost always keep their cool, and rarely overplay their hand. Gomez, it turns out, is the perfect delivery system for their brand of low-key sensuality: relaxed, knowing, and all-powerful without once raising her voice or engaging in meaningless melisma, she sounds more mature and experienced than not only her own 18 years, but than most 30-year-olds. The obvious double entendre of the title may make the message too clear, but even without it everyone would know exactly what this guy will be missing. And yet radio still treats Gomez like she’s kid’s stuff.

Toby Keith—”Made In America”
#95
In a way it’s a relief that Keith saved his jingoistic nonsense for the fourth or fifth single off his new album. He’s probably as tired of this stuff as most everyone else, and only does it because it’s expected of him. If the earlier tracks had been more successful he probably wouldn’t have released this as a single at all. But here it is all the same, another stolid piece of propaganda, country-style, all about the patriotic act of paying a little more for locally produced goods (maybe he should join the locavore movement). Odd exception: the King James bible. Keith must know that’s not really an American product, right?

Gavin DeGraw—”Not Over You”
#96
Ryan Tedder, as producer, continues his way down the pop music foodchain and finds a willing victim in DeGraw, who hasn’t had a decent hit since his debut six years ago and welcomes Tedder and his echoey drums with open arms. The result is old-school faux-soulful sincerity updated with new-school faux-soulful sincerity. Just what we’ve all been waiting for.

Romeo Santos—”You”
#97
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/28/11

Martina McBride—”Teenage Daughters”
#100
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/16/11

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