Posts Tagged ‘Bruno Mars’

Hot 100 Roundup—10/29/11

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Snoop Dogg featuring Bruno Mars & Wiz Khalifa—“Young, Wild & Free”
#10

Half good-time dope song, half, thanks to Khalifa, public service message on behalf of marijuana as a mood stabilizer, all charming in its way, but too sleepy and boring in parts. I assume Mars or his pals in The Smeezingtons wrote the hook, though he appears to have buried himself in the mix—a smart move, since Snoop and Khalifa’s rougher, less trained vocals make more sense in this context than Mars’s trademark croon. Hardly a hallmark in any of their careers, but pleasant fluff all the same.

The Fray—“Heartbeat”
#43

It’s a no-brainer that Kings Of Leon would have imitators, but somehow I never expected it to be an already established act. Guess the sloppy vocals and even sloppier ideas seemed like such a perfect fit that The Fray just couldn’t resist. They might have covered their tracks better, though; some of this sounds so much like “Use Somebody” that when it comes up on shuffle I keep thinking it is Kings of Leon. Sometimes I even hit skip before I realize my mistake. Not that I wouldn’t skip it anyway.

Beyonce—“Countdown”
#85

This is as brilliant musically as everyone says it is—even Beyonce’s over-brassiness works in this context—but I’m getting tired of her confusing brand of feminism, which largely consists of the old saw of being a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom. Though she would probably phrase it more along the lines of being a powerful woman in public and a skilled lover in private. Whatever the case, her belief in ultimate sublimation to her man, which goes back to her earliest Destiny’s Child days, is unquestioned. She got out from under her father’s domineering hand in her business life, isn’t it time she got out from under his tired old ideas, as well?

Tyga featuring Drake—“Still Got It”
#89

Though he’s more talented as a vocalist, Tyga strikes me as being a lot like Jamie Foxx: whoever he has guesting on his track, that’s who he sounds like. Drake’s hook is far more interesting than anything Tyga has to say, and the track as a whole is mediocre at best.

Roscoe Dash—“Good Good Night”
#91

Dash is basically a second level version of Soulja Boy—less aggressive, less daring, and far less interesting—but every once in a while he comes up with a good hook, and this is one of them. You’ll forget all about it once it’s over, but at least you’ll enjoy it while it’s on.

Britney Spears—“Criminal”
#92

Though it points in a totally different direction, I enjoy this more than anything Spears has released since “Piece Of Me”. It’s very smart to play down the melodramatic cliché of loving a bad boy with music that sounds not just peaceful, but almost blissful. As “physical” as her love may be (a word that, in this song, covers a lot of emotional ground), it isn’t the rough and tumble that you’d expect, but something more like a day at the spa: both fulfilling and refreshing. Spears may not be the brightest singer in the world, but she does understand sex, which is more than most pop stars can claim.

Katy Perry—“The One That Got Away”
#94

Six singles in, Perry is starting to scrape the ordinary, at least musically. The lyrics, though, are something else. Everyone’s least favorite pop maven presents us with what is essentially an indie-rock romance: they make out to Radiohead and think of themselves as a modern June Carter and Johnny Cash. As it happens, though, she’s the one who’s more forward thinking, which turns her into a pop star while he ends up busking the blues on downtown street corners. Any regrets are nothing more than the usual lip service (Perry is nothing if not a master of formula), but in its way this is more honest than most indie-rock love songs, even if she doesn’t mean a word of it.

Jessie J—“Domino”
#96

A lot of people have been comparing Jessie J to Katy Perry, and not in a good way, but this is the first time the comparison has seemed totally apt. The sound and sensibility is a straight rip-off, but J doesn’t have nearly as much charm as Perry, or as much sense. She doesn’t seem to understand, for example, that being a domino just makes her one of the many women who are lined up to be used by this guy. You have to think about metaphors and similes; you can’t just toss them off because they sound good.

Drake featuring Nicki Minaj—“Make Me Proud”
#97

This isn’t nearly as sexist and condescending as some people have suggested it is, but it is something of a borderline case. The big problem is the title: saying that somebody makes you proud is much more self-directed and self-absorbed than saying that you’re proud of them, which can be a simple compliment. The former suggests that you had something to do with what makes the person so wonderful. But that isn’t the case here. Drake never utters the title line, and instead says “I’m so proud of you”. I’m assuming he changed the title to avoid confusion with The Impressions’ “I’m So Proud” (nobody with any sense dares comparison with Curtis Mayfield). Still, he does go overboard in his praise, to the point where he sounds condescending, and since Minaj is playing it safe—her rap is good but not particularly memorable—he comes off looking something of an ass (what else is new?). I’d be much more forgiving if she had smoked him. But he means well, I’m sure. Also, the music is great, which makes up for a lot.

Evanescence—“Lost In Paradise”
#99

“What You Want” made me hope that Amy Lee was stepping away from the melodramatic bombast that has been her stock in trade from the beginning, but this songs dashes those hopes in grandiose style. It’s all so obvious: from the first notes of the piano you wait for the crash of guitars and orchestra, and though it gets held off longer than usual, it’s exactly like you imagine it, overwrought and dull. And then it goes on for another three minutes.

Hot 100 Roundup—10/15/11

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

B.o.B. featuring Lil Wayne—”Strange Clouds”
#7

B.o.B. has been putting so much energy into the pop side of his career that I’d swear this is the first time I’ve heard him rap. That can’t be true, but that’s the way it feels. He isn’t bad—good flow, some nice twists and turns both in the rhythm and the words—though more derivative of T.I. than I’d expect him to be. Wayne, meanwhile, sounds more alive all the time. His rap feels like it came off the top of his head for once, and while it isn’t brilliant, he seems to be regathering his strengths. Not a moment too soon, either.

Bruno Mars—”It Will Rain”
#28

Somewhere under the overkill of fuzzy synths and staggered beats you’ll find a very good song with sharp lyrics and a distinct Motown feel. I’d love to hear a slightly more uptempo, sparsely arranged version. In the meantime, we’ll just need to listen past an arrangement dictated more by it’s place on the latest Twilight soundtrack than the song itself.

Nickelback—”When We Stand Together”
#48

Of course it’s awful, it’s Nickelback. But consider this for a moment: these guys are so slow at what they do—their new album will be only their third since 2003—that this song must have been written long before the Occupy protests or maybe even the Arab Spring. Yet here it is, right on time. Putting its laughable aesthetics aside, it’s exactly what it should be for this moment in time. If these lumbering Canadians could feel this coming, possibly months ago, and sympathize, it may be a lot bigger than anybody thinks. A hell of a lot bigger.

T-Pain featuring Wiz Khalifa and Lily Allen—”5 O’Clock”
#62

Adding soul raps to a Lily Allen track is a brilliant idea, but this goes on too long, and except for the organ that weaves it’s way through the track like T-Pain’s conscience, doesn’t add much. It also, of course, places the emphasis of the song on Allen’s physical, rather than emotional needs, and turns her into a nagging, if sexy, bitch. I’m not saying it does total disservice to Allen’s song, but it puts the weight on the least interesting aspect. And Wiz Khalifa only makes it worse.

Glee Cast—”Somewhere”
#75

Lloyd featuring Andre 3000 & Lil Wayne—”Dedication To My Ex (Miss That)”
#81

I wish this wasn’t such an obvious take off from Cee Lo’s “Fuck You”, not just in terms of lyrical content but in sound, as well. It’s very good, and Andre 3000 is great, but the imitative quality and the shallowness of it can’t be avoided. “Fuck You” was great because Bruno Mars and Cee Lo live and breath retro soul; Lloyd is just following in their footsteps, not forging a path of his own. That may be his whole problem: as much as I’ve enjoyed his music, I still have no idea who Lloyd is.

Jason DeRulo—”Fight For You”
#83

I thought retro-sampling had hit bottom with Gym Class Heroes’ borrowings from Supertramp, but it’s impossible to underestimate the crassness of pop culture. Just when I thought DeRulo might be worth listening to, he comes up with this. I realize that sampling the African chants from “Wanna Be Starting Something” is cliche, but Toto is not an adequate replacement. Not at all. What could possibly be next and/or worse? Pablo Cruise?

Blink 182—”After Midnight”
#88

These guys have matured enough that they don’t ruin their mediocre song with meaningless histrionics, and Travis Barker is a damn good drummer. It’s still a mediocre song, though, sung by very mediocre singers.

Luke Bryan—”I Don’t Want This Night to End”
#90

I really enjoy the way the melody of this flows and changes pace as it goes along, creating a romantic atmosphere all on its own. Which is good, because the arrangement, the vocals, and the lyrics do nothing to add to the feeling.

Zac Brown Band—”Keep Me In Mind”
#99

Brown is a one-man 70′s retro movement. So far he’s focused on the laid back sound of Jimmy Buffet and the somnambulist crooning of James Taylor, but here he ups the tempo and the tension by recreating the muzak-americana of the pre-Michael McDonald Doobie Brothers. All he has to do now is tour with Fleet Foxes and take over the world by putting it to sleep.

China Anne McClain—”Calling All the Monsters”
#100

Leave it to Disney to turn Britney’s Spear’s current sound into family-safe Halloween music. They do it very well, too. This is brighter and snappier than Spear’s has been in a while, and though the voices are young, this is never corny or cheesy. It’s a good, catchy, electro-influenced dance track. Not to mention that it cuts Lady Gaga off at the pass, keeping her from releasing a seasonal record along the same lines.

Hot 100 Roundup—9/17/11

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Lil Wayne
“Mirror” (featuring Bruno Mars), #16
“Blunt Blowin’”, #33
“MegaMan”, #50
“It’s Good” (featuring Drake & Jadakiss), #79
“How To Hate” (featuring T-Pain), #84
“Nightmares of the Bottom”, #90
“President Carter”, #94
“So Special” (featuring John Legend), #95

A mixture of the competent and the truly terrible (“Mirror” may be the most relentlessly self-pitying piece of gunk I have ever heard), the bright spots on these tracks are so few and far between that they feel like Wayne guest spots on his own album. The problem is not, as some have suggested, that Wayne isn’t trying. He obviously is, as the forced word play and over-stressed puns attest. The problem is that, in reaction to his jail stint, he seems to have changed his working methods, writing his raps instead of working ideas over in his head and spitting them out for the first time in front of a microphone. Putting ideas on paper, as any writer will tell you, allows for all sorts of self-doubt and second guessing, and may result in something being worked over until all signs of life have been drained out of it. The freedom and of-the-moment brilliance of Wayne’s raps has disappeared and been replaced by what I’m sure he considers meaningful and carefully considered but lifeless verbiage. Perhaps he’ll work it out, or maybe his inspiration is truly gone, drained by his pre-prison burst of creativity (there were signs of that even before he was sentenced) or killed by his time in jail. He’ll undoubtedly get a second wind, and maybe the genius will return combined with a growing maturity. But that’s going to take time, and there’s no sign that Wayne is doing anything to make that happen. His infinite sense of confidence may be his greatest weakness right now. I expect to hear great things from him in the future, but I don’t expect them anytime soon.

Beyonce—”Love On Top”
#20

The praise for 4 has been so universal I feel like a curmudgeon for not being more impressed by what I’ve heard, but I’m not. This is one of the better cuts, establishing an excellent late-80s soul groove (with synths that sound like they came off a Wings record), and then building into a joyful chorus that becomes ever more ecstatic through a series of ascending key changes. It’s masterful in almost every way, but somehow, for me at least, it lacks something. My problem is Beyonce’s voice, which is technically perfect but has always struck me as sharp and metallic and too obvious in it’s effects. Listening to her is somewhat like watching Jodie Foster or Meryl Streep act: I’m impressed by the skill and technique, but the way they use them is too transparent—it’s a great performance, and I admire the intelligence behind it, but I never forget for a moment that it is a performance. I appreciate a brilliant facade as much as the next person, but people talk about Beyonce as if she were giving us more than that, and from my perspective she rarely does. There’s no doubt that 4 is a step up from the misguided Sasha Fierce, so much so that people are overrating it—or maybe it’s why I’m underrating it; being better than Sasha Fierce doesn’t seem like much of an accomplishment to me.

David Guetta
“Turn Me On” (featuring Nicki Minaj), #37
“Without You” (featuring Usher), #39

“I just want you to father my young” is a great line, but it’s the only great line Minaj is allowed on “Turn Me On”, which sounds as if it might have been written for Rihanna instead. Meanwhile, “Without You” is an OK song with an oddly happy arrangement on the chorus, which also features one of Usher’s best-ever vocal performances. And so goes the hit-and-miss career of David Guetta, superstar DJ and all-around hack.

Chris Brown featuring Benny Benassi—”Beautiful People”
#43

The music is derivative but great, the lyrics derivative and awful, with Chris Brown lying through his teeth every beat of the way. Brown gets points for being the hip-hop performer who has been most willing to jump with both feet into the Euro-disco whirlpool, but he has done so in service of a personality that is so shallow and hypocritical that he makes world peace and the universality of beauty sound unclean. And when I say hypocritical, I’m not talking about Rihanna—it’s right there in the music and in his voice, in every beat and every breath. This guy cares about nothing but himself, and he’s willing to say or do anything to make you care about him too.

Lady Antebellum—”Dancin’ Away With My Heart”
#50

Another perfectly crafted, mediocre celebration of lost love, which once again focuses nostalgically on the singers’ teen years. Please don’t tell me it’s a concept album.

Young the Giant—”My Body”
#65

Further proof of the power of television, as if anybody needed it. Get a featured spot on the VMAs and you’re guaranteed to make the bottom half of the Hot 100 for a week or two. But even TV couldn’t turn this lame pastiche of Muse and The Killers into a real hit. For that you need something else: talent, novelty, tons of promotion money, anything.

LMFAO—”Sexy and I Know It”
#76

The obvious reference point is Right Said Fred, but I hear some Weird Al in here as well, which is welcome. Now that these guys have finally outed themselves as total comedians (and with a flair for electro at that), maybe some people will realize that their hedonistic shoutouts are at least partly satire and stop accusing them of corrupting our youth. Our youth are already corrupt, LMFAO are just making fun of them for profit. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. And don’t think the youth don’t get the joke; why do you think they’re buying the records?

Flo Rida—”Good Feeling”
#82

The Etta James hook is great, as is the overall sound, but that’s all there is: Rida has nothing to say even if you could understand him, and the hook is repeated so often you get sick of it (you might hold out a bit longer on the dance floor, though). A nice idea, but…

Hot 100 Roundup—9/10/11

Sunday, September 25th, 2011

Pistol Annies—”Hell On Heels”
#55

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/23/11

Martina McBride—”I’m Gonna Love You Through It”
#77

Taking Brad Paisley at his word, McBride serves up a country song about cancer, and doesn’t hesitate to say the C word right up front. She also doesn’t hesitate to layer the record with as much string-laden sentiment as it can hold, and then pours on some more. After her last two singles, and especially “Teenage Daughters”, I thought McBride was going to make something new and interesting out of her career, but it must be harder to break out of that Nashville mold than I thought.

David Guetta featuring Jennifer Hudson—”Night Of Your Life”
#81

It’s bad enough that Guetta is a mediocre DJ, but Hudson is an absolutely hopeless disco singer. You can argue about whether Guetta should be allowed to make records, but there’s no doubt that Hudson shouldn’t be allowed to sing stuff like this.

Steve Holy—”Love Don’t Run”
#90

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/2/11

Florence + The Machine—”What the Water Gave Me”
#91

Let me guess: A totally self-absorbed belief in your own pretensions? The Pocket Guide to Romantic Suicide Imagery? A free pass to the nearest Renaissance Faire?

Ronnie Dunn—”Cost of Livin’”
#96

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 8/13/11

Wale featuring Jerimeh & Rick Ross—”That Way”
#98

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 8/27/11

Game—”Martians Vs Goblins”
#100

I assume that this scraped it’s way onto the charts because people wanted to hear Game making rude suggestions about Bruno Mars along with many others. I can’t think of any other reason to listen to it. My only question is whether Lil Wayne actually contributed to this track or Game used a sample. If the latter, that may be the biggest insult on the record.

Hot 100 Roundup—8/27/11

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Drake—”Headlines”
#13

Is this guy capable of doing anything but feel sorry for himself? Fame didn’t turn out to be as much fun as he thought it would be; no one understands him or how hard he works; and there are all these women! Makes you wonder what he got into the business for. It sure wasn’t the music.

Jason DeRulo—”It Girl”
#39

I have mixed feelings about this record, largely because I find myself liking it more than I think I should. Most of DeRulo’s records have been terrible, but this time around he switches up his style, dumping his usual dense, sample based hip-hop for a lighter, more straight-ahead sound. Some say he’s trying to be Bruno Mars, but what I hear is a less desperate, more relaxed version of Chris Brown. In other words, a pleasant, minor talent who doesn’t carry a lot of excess baggage around with him. I doubt he’ll ever do anything great, but at least he isn’t an embarrassment.

Jay-Z & Kanye West
“Who Gon’ Stop Me”, #44
“Niggas In Paris”, #75

I have real difficulties with Watch the Throne. The music is often brilliant, but the lyrics are intentionally paradoxical, full of contradictions and ego-based hyperbole that are hard to work around or excuse. The opening line of “Who Gon Stop Me” is a perfect example: “This is something like the Holocaust/Millions of our people lost”. It’s a powerful statement, and like much of Watch the Throne, it places current events in a deeper historical context. Whether or not that context is fully justified in relation to what most of the tracks are about, however—that is, being rich and living high—is open to question. The overall stance of the album is that the suffering African-Americans have gone through is justification for those who are successful exalting themselves, living as high as they can, and bragging about it as much as possible. It’s hardly a new idea, as they well know; just the title “Niggas in Paris” alone conjures up images of black men and women who were in a position to take advantage of financial independence and the relative racial freedom of Europe and did so to excess: Joe Jackson, Josephine Baker, Sidney Bechet, James Baldwin, and many others. What gets left out of the story are the great majority who don’t have anything to brag about; not just African Americans, but Africans, whites, Latinos, Asians, and the Europeans who make their living serving people like Jay-Z and West and satisfying their needs. Like Jay-Z said in “Empire State of Mind”, “Pity half of y’all won’t make it”, with the unuttered followup, “sucker”, implied in his phrasing. It’s a drug dealer’s mentality, and even if they’re aware of it, and unsure of it, and emphasize the irony of it, it still stinks.

David Guetta featuring Sia—”Titanium”
#66

Guetta wisely lightens up his sound before the bombast takes over completely, and though this is nothing special at least it isn’t openly hostile to anyone with sensitive ears or a working brain. If he had found a singer other than Sia, whose lack of enunciation I find even more irritating here than on her own records, it might have been even better.

Miranda Lambert—”Baggage Claim”
#67

After Revolution I was afraid that Lambert was softening up, and that the woman who had made Crazy Ex-Girlfriend was gone for good. Going by this and the Pistol Annies album, though, that judgement was premature. “Baggage Claim” isn’t a great record: rhythmically it’s a little stiff, and the metaphor gets stretched almost to the breaking point, but it brings back the take-no-prisoners stance that made Lambert famous, with only the slightest lessening of intensity. She may not be as brash as she used to be, but she makes up for it with a sense of confidence that may be even more impressive. She knows what she wants, she knows how to get it, and she knows that she can. My only worry is that she’ll try so hard to make a perfect record that she’ll mistrust her best instincts and stiffen up. That’s was Revolution’s greatest weakness, and you can hear some of that on this record. Still, this sounds like a step in the right direction.

Evanescence—”What You Want”
#68

Keeping up with the times, Amy Lee and her new band mates toss a little Paramore-style melody into their mix, along with an easy to chant along with hook. I like this more than any Evanescence I’ve heard before, and for metal-edged pop (or is that pop-edged metal) this is high caliber. If the whole album sounds like this it could be another Superunknown (which should give you an idea of how much metal I listen to).

T.I. featuring B.o.B.—”We Don’t Get Down Like Y’all”
#78

The change in style—less fuzzy synths, more hard beats—is appreciated, but it’s also a step backwards towards a style he moved beyond years ago. What is new, at least to me, is the blatant homophobia. If people have a problem with Odd Future, what are they going to think of “Listen up, fag bait/them hot pants bad for your prostate.” Maybe he is just a jerk.

Luke Bryan—”Drunk On Love”
#79

Yet another song about a country girl shakin’ it for her man. In rap, women work the pole; in country, the tailgate. Bryan even steals an image from the blues: “Honey drips on the moneymaker”. Country radio programmers must know what that means, but I bet they’ll play it anyway. Pretty slow for yet another version of “Whole Lot of Shakin’”, though. I imagine Bryan intended this as a sexy grind, but since he doesn’t know sexy from a rusty pickup truck, all he gets is the grind.

The Script—”Nothing”
#89

You said it.

Mindless Behavior featuring Diggy—”Mrs. Right”
#97

There have been a lot of good teen rap groups the last couple of years, but this record is so insane, with both the vocals and the beats run through an autotune turned up to 11, that the damn thing never touches the ground. By the end of the first verse you’ve lost your bearings: just where did they expect this to end up? Good for a laugh, but that’s about it.

Hot 100 Roundup—8/20/11

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

Five Finger Death Punch—”Over and Under It”
#77

I’d like to think this record is a joke, but there’s nothing about the performance that indicates that it is, and I suppose they mean it. Which leaves us with the oxymoron of a metal band who are overly concerned about the haters who spread rumors about them, such as suggesting that they give a shit. It makes no sense at all. If they’re over and under it, why bother writing a song? And why bellow all the time?

Ellie Goulding—”Lights”
#85

A good record that should be especially enjoyed by those who wish Bjork’s career had moved in the direction of pop instead of the avant garde. The catchiness of this, though, sounds more like a piece of luck than anything else, and since Goulding isn’t Bjork, I don’t expect much from her in the future.

Mat Kearney—”Ships In the Night”
#87

I’d swear I’ve heard this song before. Thousands of times, in fact. Once, long ago, it may even have been something I enjoyed.

Dev—”In the Dark”
#92

Dev is essentially an icier version of Ke$ha. The subject matter is roughly the same—clubbing, partying, and sex—but the approach is more distant, hence more erotic. As long as The Cataracs are providing her beats, there’s doesn’t seem to be any reason she couldn’t keep this up for ever. Here they create a Euro-disco feel, only with more restraint and without the melodic cheesiness, and the result is actually looser and warmer than their previous records. It’s the new version of cool—Selena Gomez’s records have some of the same feeling—and they’re masters of it.

Tinie Tempah featuring Wiz Khalifa—”Till I’m Gone”
#96

I like the way Tempah raps—in his British way he reminds me of Pitbull—but his verses seem to have nothing whatever to do with Khalifa’s generic chorus. I wonder which came first.

Tyga featuring Chris Richardson—”Far Away”
#98

Richardson does Bruno Mars/Hayley Williams, Tyga does B.o.B., but they can’t seem to decide whether they’re doing “Nothing On You” or “Airplanes”. Or maybe they’re trying to do both at once. Not that it matters much. This is mediocre either way.

Hot 100 Roundup—7/2/11

Monday, August 1st, 2011

Bad Meets Evil featuring Bruno Mars—”Lighters”
#16

Aside from the profit motive, I can’t think of a single reason for this record to exist. Mars repeats himself, only this time demanding acclaim for doing so; Eminem reminds haters for the umpteenth time that their hatred only makes him stronger; and Royce Da 5’9″ complains about T-Pain not letting Royce have a verse on one of his records. Based on this, T-Pain was right.

Javier Colon—”Angel”, #64
Vicci Martinez—”Jolene”, #76
Casey Weston—”Black Horse and the Cherry Tree”, #90
Xenia—”Price Tag”, #99

Shania Twain—”Today Is Your Day”
#66

After all these years Twain pins her come-back on a Sara Bareilles imitation, only without the sarcasm and cynicism that makes Bareilles interesting. Just to prove she’s still country she throws in some token banjo on the second verse and then buries it in the mix. She seems to believe that she’s still a star and can pick up where she left off without much effort, the same mistake Usher made a few years ago. Whether she has the talent or the energy to realign her career the way he did is another question.

Pitbull featuring Marc Anthony—Rain Over Me”
#75

Not good. Not terrible, but not good. Not a surprise, either. When your career is based on club-bangers, any album more then three singles deep is considered a masterpiece, if not a miracle. Pitbull has already made his quota.

Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine—”Stereo Hearts”
#85

Travie McCoy is a major irritant, and here he brings Levine, who is only a minor irritant, down to his level. Levine takes himself too seriously, and McCoy doesn’t take himself seriously at all, but they’re both egotists who think they’re geniuses and who lack the ability to see how average their talents really are. McCoy is more irritating because he can’t shut up, but Levine makes the major mistake here of trying to be funny (at least I think that’s what he’s doing), which only demonstrates what a stick he really is. Weirdest moment: the middle eight that rips off Vampire Weekend. This is either a joke that doesn’t work or an attempt to establish seriousness in a way that makes no sense at all. Either way, it’s cringeworthy.

Joe Jonas—”See No More”
#92

Jonas plays his dance-pop the same way he and his brothers play their rock and roll, with a misplaced, earnest intensity that turns everything he/they do into numbing bombast. Pop actually eases the pressure on Jonas a bit, but the song is mediocre, and Jonas has no idea how to make anything better of it. He has now failed at rock and roll, acting, and pop. Isn’t it time to quit?

Afrojack featuring Eva Simons—”Take Over Control”
#96

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/14/11

Billy Currington—”Love Done Gone”
#98

Currington has a decent voice, but you’d need to listen to this garish, Barry-Manilow-goes-country monstrosity more than once to realize it. I did, but I’m a professional. I doubt most people could get through it even once.

Now I’m really starting to like this guy

Sunday, January 23rd, 2011

How many current pop stars can you think of who would direct their twitter followers to a video of Sister Rosetta Tharpe? Bruno Mars did. The kid’s got taste, at least.

That’s what he wants

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

I’ve always considered Bruno Mars a real talent, but now I’m beginning to find myself agreeing with those who believe he’s a good deal more than that. “Marry You”, one of the most charming songs anyone has released in years, has something to do with that, but the clincher may be the first couple of minutes of the clip below (Travie McCoy haters are advised not to watch beyond that). This is from the Z100 Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden last month. It’s one of those old fashioned package shows, full of big stars who get 20 minutes or so to play their hits and make their fans (in this case almost all teenage girls) happy. So what does Mars open with? “Money”, a fifty year-old song whose most recent minor hit version, by The Flying Lizards, was released long before most of his audience was born. Since he started his career as a child Elvis impersonator, I’m not surprised Mars knows the song, though it sounds as if he’s more familiar with The Beatles version than Barrett Strong’s original, but it’s amazing to me that he would play it, even if it was the inspiration for “Billionaire”, and especially on an occasion like this. He doesn’t approach it like it’s an educational moment, either, just “Here’s a cool song I love”. Mind you, it could be a piece of demographic triangulation: he’s already won over the teenagers, so now it’s time to work on their parents. That seems too cynical, though, and cynical is the one thing Mars doesn’t appear to be. He just loves this stuff, and he wants to share it. All I could think while I was watching this is that he may be the most natural pop performer since Michael Jackson, even if his music isn’t yet up to that level; and he obviously enjoys performing in the same way The Beatles did in their early days. Those are outrageous comparisons, I know, but I suspect we’ve only gotten a taste of what Mars is capable of.

Hot 100 Roundup—12/12/10

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

Glee Cast
“Dog Days Are Over”, #22
“Hey, Soul Sister”, #29
“(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life”, #38
“Valerie”, #54
“Don’t Cry for Me Argentina”, #97

Coldplay—”Christmas Lights”
#25

Even with Brian Eno producing, they’re still a bunch of pretentious boobs, and this sounds like what might have happened if Genesis had tried to rewrite The Pogues’s “Fairytale of New York”. Except this version focuses entirely on how sorry the guy is feeling for himself; it never dares to suggest that he might deserve his lonesome fate. Maybe that’s because it’s too busy trying to sort out its pseudo-poetic lyrics: “I took my feet down to Oxford street”. Really? Did you carry them in a sack?

Flo Rida featuring Akon—”Who Dat Girl”
#55

Flo Rida’s presence is so minimal in relation to everything that makes this record worthwhile you’d barely know he was on it if you didn’t read the credits. If you did, you’d realize how much this record owes not only to Akon, who sings the hook, but also the omnipresent Bruno Mars, who co-wrote it, and Dr. Luke, who produced it. Makes you wonder what Mr. Rida’s actual contribution is. How about being the guy who knows what sells? That’s always enough to make you look like a supreme talent.

Victorious Cast featuring Victoria Justice—”Freak the Freak Out”
#78

This is the first of the Nickelodeon singles that comes close to the level of the Disney-pop they hope to cash in on, and it arrives just as Disney-pop itself is beginning to fade into memory. There will always be a market for clean-as-a-whistle, bouncy pop, and maybe Nickelodeon can cash in on the next generation (these things being counted, as they are, in five year intervals). This record, which is more Selena Gomez than Miley Cyrus, though nowhere near the best of either, sounds like a good place to start.

The Killers—”Boots”
#79

Did I say Coldplay were pretentious? They are, but only if you don’t compare them to The Killers. Lyrics that shift through time and space, suffused with regret and nostalgia; churchbells and thundering martial drums; a clip of Jimmy Stewart praying in It’s a Wonderful Life layered over opera and someone singing in Spanish; melodies swiped from Neil Young and cover art referencing Citizen Kane—this is their idea of a Christmas record. It’s as if they came from a planet where confusion is considered the highest possible art form (oh, I forgot, they’re from Vegas). Still, I like these guys a lot more than Coldplay because they at least partially justify their pretension. This is a mess, but the hooks soar the way they’re supposed to, the emotions, though difficult to sort out, are palpable, and Brandon Flowers sings like a human being. A confused one, I grant you, and one with delusions of grandeur, but human nonetheless. How many of those do you usually find on the pop charts?

Birdman featuring Lil Wayne—”Fire Flame”
#84

Wayne sounds like his old self, if not at his highest level (judging by the sound of “6’7″”, this was just a warm-up). Birdman sounds like his old self, as well, at a level that’s a little easier to reach. The result is perfectly fine, but nothing special.

Far*East Movement featuring Ryan Tedder—”Rocketeer”
#93

At this moment in time, it may look as if no one can lose with a Bruno Mars hook on their record, but that only applies if Mars is singing it. Tedder does a pretty good imitation, and no doubt this is a worthwhile break from writing “Halo” yet again, but this lacks both Mars’s sense of humor and his sense of reality. The rest is even worse, an indicator that Far*East Movement may be another one of those groups whose guests are better than they are. Maybe it’s time to check out that Dev & The Cataracs record.

Bubbling Under:

Fantasia—”I’m Doing Me”
#101

This is right up with Monica’s “Love All Over Me” in the “do they really know what they’re singing about?” sweepstakes. I get the feeling, though, that Fantasia has a better sense of what’s going on than Monica does. Which doesn’t save this from being ordinary in almost every other respect. Fantasia’s last couple of singles had a good neo-soul vibe to them, but this is tepid. You don’t suppose they pegged it as a single just because of the title, do you?

Chris Brown—”No BS”
#102

In which Brown promises a night of perfect sex (the condoms are in the dresser, darling) over a rhythm track that sounds like giant insects are trying to break into the room. The whole thing makes me feel itchy, and not in a good way.

Charlie Wilson—”You Are”
#103

After “There Goes My Baby”, I was hoping that Wilson would be able to mount a real comeback, but this is retro in the worst possible way. That is, it really does sound old, and it makes Wilson sound old, too.

Jamie Foxx featuring Drake—”Fall For Your Type”
#104

Jamie Foxx is a smart, talented guy, but he thinks he’s a lot smarter and talented than he actually is, and he overreaches and fails over and over again. This record is a complete conceptual disaster, its tempo too slow for its subject, its subject too light for its pretentious heaviness, its flashes of ego unleavened by humor or sense. Drake is more bearable than usual, but that’s all that can be said for it.

Jerrod Niemann—”What Do You Want”
#105

Niemann is good at what he does, but too much of what he does seems to be focused on nothing more than demonstrating how good he is. He’s a country classicist, and though there’s nothing wrong with that—it’s something of a relief, actually—it isn’t enough. This is perfectly crafted and absolutely empty.