Miley Cyrus—”Party In the U.S.A.”
#2
Despite its bouncy, universalist tone, the lyrics of this song reveal it to be nothing more than the usual declaration of egotistical, posturing self-importance. This isn’t a party in the U.S.A., it’s a party in one small part of the U.S.A., namely whatever part of Hollywood Miley Cyrus is currently occupying. Her only gesture to the outside world is inviting everyone else to watch her have fun. It makes sense that she namechecks Jay-Z, since this song shares an attitude with any number of self-aggrandizing rap records, including Jay-Z’s latest. I know it’s too easy to criticize Cyrus as a spoiled celebrity princess, but in this case it’s true.
Disney’s Friends for Change—”Send It On”
#20
The latest emetic power ballad for charity. I advise you to save your money for the compilation album, Now That’s What I Call Philanthropy!
Jason DeRulo—”Watcha Say”
#54
I like the chorus, which serves the double duty of being catchy and telling DeRulo where to stuff his apology for infidelity. You can tell he doesn’t mean it by the way he sings his own name at the beginning of the track. Self-love like that is never satisfied with only one admirer.
Cobra Starship—”Hot Mess”
#64
Twice as many writers and producers as “Good Girls Go Bad”, half the hooks. Since “Good Girls Go Bad” has a lot of hooks, only managing half isn’t a total disaster, though it does expose their overkill for the overcompensation it really is.
Cascada—Evacuate the Dancefloor
#80
Lack of originality can be a blessing, especially in commercial terms. Already a number one across Europe, this is essentially a Lady GaGa track without all that arty baggage and sexual ambiguity attached. It’s overloaded with hooks, too, something GaGa is rarely accused of. Trouble is, it still sounds like GaGa, garish and overwrought. Which is fine if you feel like being pummeled to deaf on the dancefloor. Me, I’ve always preferred more subtle ways of losing my hearing.
Lady Antebellum—”Need You Now”
#85
It never occurred to me until someone at another blog brought it up, but aside from the Eagles, the biggest non-country influence on modern country music is Fleetwood Mac. The rhythm track here is a dead ringer (session guys are good at that sort of thing), but the singers are no match for Christine McVie, and neither are all four of the songwriters. McVie could make seeming truisms and banalities ring with passion and intensity—all these guys can do is make you think, “Oh, that’s nice. Where have I heard this before?”
Britney Spears—”Radar”
#90
This record is more interesting for it’s release history than for itself. Originally on Blackout, for some reason it was included on the bonus version of Circus, and now, for even more intangible reasons, it’s being promoted as a single. It isn’t very good, and it goes on too long, but obviously somebody thinks it can be a hit. And right now somebody else is scouring the song for clues to Britney’s current state of mind. Not me, though, I can’t even pay attention to it all the way through.
Chris Young—”Gettin’ You Home (The Black Dress Song)”
#91
It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a good old county wedded lust song; I was starting to think that all male country singers were bachelors chasing badonkadonk. This isn’t great—the second verse, where Young sings from his wife’s point of view, doesn’t quite work—but it’s sufficiently steamy to get the point across, and old-fashioned enough to sound fresh. It ain’t Charlie Rich, but it ain’t bad.
