Posts Tagged ‘Drake’

New this week—1/17/10

Saturday, January 16th, 2010

Ke$ha
“Blah Blah Blah” (featuring 3Oh!3), #7
“Your Love Is My Drug”, #27
“Take It Off”, #85
It’s hard not to think of Ke$ha as Reality-TV-Pop, with a musical persona not far removed from the ladies on Jersey Shore. That’s at least better, in some ways, than thinking of her as a female version of 3Oh!3, or a full time Fergie-in-party-mode. The music is suitably garish and blaring, the vocal phrasing party-girl flat, and the character that of a woman who thinks she’s a goddess because she can take five straight shots and still stand up. She explores this a little more deeply and humorously on some of the album cuts—especially “Party At a Rich Dude’s House” (she throws up in the closet) and “Dinosaur”, which is about creepy older men hitting her up—but these three cuts (plus “Tik Tok”) provide everything you really need to know. If you really want to know, that is.

Lady Antebellum—”Love This Pain”
#93
There’s nothing wrong with wearing your influences on your sleeve, especially in country music, but when those influences slip from Fleetwood Mac to Bon Jovi, it’s probably not a good idea to emphasize them by releasing the results as a single.

Timbaland featuring Drake—”Say Something”
#94
Listen to the background and you’ll notice that, as a producer, Timbaland is still capable of making interesting music. As a rapper, though, he has nothing to say, and Drake doesn’t have much more. And the music isn’t all that interesting.

Easton Corbin—”A Little More Country Than That”
#100
I love the conceit of this, where Corbin rattles off a few country and small town cliches, and then pronounces himself even more country in a tone both good humored and dismissive. He then digs behind the cliches and defines country as a form of honor and emotional honesty. It’s a neat trick, and Corbin wisely plays it as low key as possible. Though the song doesn’t build in the way it possibly should, it’s a neat llittle package.

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New this week—12/6/09

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Lady GaGa
“Telephone” (featuring Beyonce), #30
“Speechless”, #94
Despite it’s honest origins—GaGa says it was inspired by her father’s initial refusal to seek medical treatment for a heart condition—or maybe because of them, “Speechless” is a terrible song. If she was going to pay homage to Elton John, couldn’t she have picked a better album than Blues Moves as a model? “Telephone”, however, is something else, an inspired comic character sketch that’s not only catchy as hell but a lot smarter and deeper than it first appears. Beyonce doesn’t add much—she sounds petulant rather than fed-up, which doesn’t quite fit the song—but she doesn’t hurt, either. And I have to admit I’m impressed by GaGa’s willingness to play the fool—though she does overstep a few times: that Grand Central Station line may be a little too dumb.

Young Money featuring Lloyd—”Bedrock”
#36
I like the chorus and Lloyd’s Mr. Flinstone line, and it’s nice to hear a crew with a female rapper, but that’s about it. Even Lil Wayne sounds less than inspired. It goes on forever, too—what was it The Beastie Boys said about too many rappers?

Susan Boyle
“I Dreamed A Dream”, #62
“Wild Horses”, #98
The story of Susan Boyle holds such fascination that it’s hard not to wonder if the million people who have bought her album so far actually care what it sounds like. Her voice is interesting if only because, for a woman in her forties, it’s surprisingly girlish. Physically she sounds strong and mature, but her phrasing is often that of an adolescent—she’d be perfect for a guest spot on Glee. Her song choices seem eccentric at first, as well—“Wild Horses”, “Daydream Believer”, Madonna, Patti Griffin’s “Up To the Mountain” (which I’m willing to bet she first heard when Kelly Clarkson performed it on American Idol two years ago; her phrasing echoes Clarkson’s almost exactly)—but she reduces the tempo on most of the songs so much that the melodies all but disappear; they all sound like they came from an Andrew Lloyd Weber musical. I’m as touched by Boyle’s story as anyone, but she either doesn’t know, doesn’t care, or doesn’t really understand what most of these songs are about (especially “Wild Horses”, which is incomprehensible vocally—she slurs the lyrics even more than Jagger—and emotionally). The paradox is that if she understood what she was singing about, her story wouldn’t exist. Her well-documented emotional inexperience is at the root of her fairy tale, which would be impossible without it, but it doesn’t make for compelling music.

Beyonce faturing Lady GaGa—”Videophone”
#65
The spaghetti-western intro is a bit much, but for the most part this is Beyonce doing what Beyonce does best: luring young men to their doom. As a Siren no one can touch her, not even Lady Gaga, who shows up somewhere in the middle and contributes nothing but a touch of off-color kinkiness. If Beyonce ever put a whole album of this kind of stuff together, half the country’s male population would explode by the end of the fourth track. I’m surprised she hasn’t tried it.

Glee Cast
“True Colors”, #66
“Imagine”, #67
Awful as usual—to be honest I couldn’t get through a single listening of either one. What may be even worse for the show is that these song choices suggest the writers have already run out of ideas—and they haven’t even finished the first season yet.

Chris Brown—”Crawl”
#68
Brown’s first stage of his career rehabilitation, “I Can Transform Ya”, has stalled on the charts (it’s selling well enough but it’s dying on radio), so here he shifts gears with an attempt at an uplifting power ballad. Clever in it’s way, but nothing you haven’t heard before. Despite it’s universalist tone, however, it seems to be directed not towards the downtrodden of the earth but towards a certain former partner in a collapsed relationship: “We can crawl back to love”, he assures her. I understand his motivation, but you have to wonder just how long Brown’s audience will be willing to watch him squirm. Another single as lame as this and we’ll have our answer.

Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado & SoShy—”Morning After Dark”
#76
This is a well-crafted piece of nonsense that doesn’t take off the way it should. It sounds like they had a lot of fun making it, but there’s too much going on and the track gets weighed down by trickery. I sure would like to know what “When the cats come out the bats come out to play” means, though.

Birdman featuring Drake & Lil Wayne—”4 My Town (Play Ball)”
#90
I don’t understand why Birdman isn’t a bigger star. He has Lil Wayne’s full support, and his records, though not revolutionary in any way, are inventive and and clever enough to get your full attention, at least as long as the song is playing. They do tend to fade from memory quickly when they’re over, though. This is his best since “Always Strapped”, but at this point I’m not sure that’s going to make much difference, even with Lil Wayne and Drake providing decent guest spots.

Francesca Battistelli—”It’s Your Life”
#95
More helpful homilies layered in pop cliches from a contemporary Christian singer. Not sure what kind of Christian she is, though: on her website she quotes E.M. Forster, who was not only a self-declared humanist, but gay. He also wasn’t Jesus, who isn’t quoted anywhere on the site. She does disrespect Forster somewhat by misspelling his name, but I don’t think that will cut her any slack with the fundamentalist crowd.

Trace Adkins—”All I Ask For Anymore”
#99
Extra-strength country sentimentality with added vocal syrup. I’m sure Adkins is sincere in his way, but the Sunday-school-like chorus is shameless, and when he lowers the baritone boom at the end all I can do is laugh.

Billy Currington—”That’s How Country Boys Roll”
#100
Did you know that country boys like pickup trucks, fishing, chewing tobacco, George Jones, and their mama? Me neither. Thanks for letting us know, Billy. You can go back to the holla now.

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New this week

Friday, October 30th, 2009

Glee Cast
“Sweet Caroline”, #34
“Bust A Move”, #93

The cover of Neil Diamond’s hoary old chestnut does a pretty good job of puncturing Diamond’s self-importance, if only because the singer is incapable of the sort chest thumping fullness of voice that Diamond was born to. But as to whether the joke was intentional or not, I have no idea. As for “Bust A Move”, it’s their most surprising cover yet, but it’s also easy, and stinks of demographic as opposed to satiric or comic intentions. I mean, if they really wanted to play against their white bread atmosphere, why not “Mama Said Knock You Out” or “Fight The Power”?

Adam Lambert—”Time for Miracles”
#50
As ghastly as every other movie soundtrack ballad, only, as befits a movie about the end of the world, even more over-the-top. I would love to know who’s responsible for the string arrangement, which hovers between mindless overkill and stunning self-parody.

Snoop Dogg featuring The-Dream—”Gangsta Luv”
#57
I was expecting this to be another of Snoop’s biennial greats like “Drop It Like It’s Hot” or “Sensual Seduction”. Instead it’s a very ordinary jam from The-Dream (who’s become almost as bereft of ideas as Jermaine Dupri), with Snoop sounding even sleepier than usual. He really doesn’t care, anymore, does he?

Tim McGraw—”Southern Voice”
#61
Another country list song, distinguished only by the weirdness of its choices: the first verse starts naturally enough with Hank Williams, and then moves through Hank’s grandson to Chuck Berry, William Faulkner, Aretha (not from the south, but what the hell), Dolly, and Rosa Parks before ending with Scarlet O’Hara. Although he namechecks “Hickory Wind” he doesn’t mention Graham Parsons by name, and he makes sure to keep his Christian audience on board by mentioning his gold cross and ending the list with Billy Graham. He manages to sneak Pocahantas on there, as well. This may set some sort of record for how many demographics can be genuflected to in a single song.

T-Pain—”Take Your Shirt Off”
#80
I was put off by this at first—I generally prefer my T-Pain more subtle (as subtle as he gets, anyway), and this struck me as a mindless Lil Jon knock-off. Except Lil Jon never managed tracks as frenetic or musically complicated as this, and though he can get ruder he’s isn’t any funnier. Where crunk jumped up and down in place, this motivates forward at high speed, stops and jumps up and down, and then motivates again. As party music it’s just about perfect, and party music seems to be all that anyone wants these days.

Trey Songz featuring Drake—”I Invented Sex”
#90
In overall tone, this follows along in the tradition of “Bed” and “Birthday Sex”, only this is more sophisticated and less funny, and also, to my ears at least, a lot sexier. This version, featuring Drake, tops Drake’s version, featuring Trey Songz. Songz voice has just the right vulnerable, self-effacing quality to get over, whereas Drake sounds a little full of himself, a bit crass. Even on a song as excellent as this, I like him less everytime I hear him.

Carrie Underwood—”Temporary Home”
#92
This is why a lot of people hate country music—sticky and sentimental, with a religious message tacked onto the end that, instead of adding a level of hope, cheapens the suffering of the characters in the song. Come to think of it, this is why a lot of people hate religion, too.

Owl City—”Vanilla Twilight”
#95
If this isn’t the vanishing point that indie infantilism has been moving toward these last few years then I’m Winnie the Pooh and his jar of honey too. “Pour me a cup of atmosphere”, the singer (who’s also the band) whimpers in a voice that would make any intelligent five year old squeamish, and you’ll excuse me for wishing he’d choke on it. And from what I’ve heard, all the indie crowd, when faced with such damning evidence of the hole they’ve been digging themselves the last few years, can come up with in way of defense is “He’s just ripping off The Postal Service.” Exactly.

Darius Rucker—”History In the Making”
#99
I appreciate Rucker because unlike most male country singers he doesn’t waste a lot of time whooping it up and overplaying his love of God and country or treat his voice like some sort of icon whose every shift of timbre and craggy intonation is designed to make women quake in their Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots. He’s just an ordinary guy singing about ordinary things in an at times very ordinary way. He’s nothing to get excited about, but he isn’t an irritant, either. If that sometimes makes him dull, as it does here, then so be it.

Rihanna—”Russian Roulette”
#100
I’m unsure what to make of this record. Even if you assume it’s meant as a metaphor for abusive relationships, on first listen the song is as terrifying as it was no doubt intended to be, metaphor or no. But on repeated listening the effect not only lessens, which is to be expected, but drains away almost completely. The problem, as always, is Rihanna’s voice, which conveys no real feeling or emotion—she barely sounds as if she has a life to lose. That could be part of the point, I suppose, but it creates a distance in the song that becomes impossible to breach and ultimately deprives it of any meaningful impact. And impact, I think, was exactly what she was looking for.

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New this week

Sunday, October 18th, 2009

Britney Spears—”3″
#1
There’s no doubt now that Spears is back in full control of her career, and the playful tease of this record even suggests that she’s enjoying herself again. But compared to songs like “Gimme More” or “Piece of Me”, both released when her life seemed to be in freefall, this is remarkably tame, and the echoes of their sound here suggests a reliance on formula. The truth is she’s working ground that others—Lady Gaga, especially—have already laid claim to with more sense of daring and style than Spears is now willing, or capable, of putting out. She can still titillate her old fans, obviously, and there are still enough of them to debut this at number one, but you have to wonder how long she can work this particular plot and make it pay before she, or her fans, get bored with it.

Justin Bieber—”One Less Lonely Girl”
#16
I like the feel of this, which is surprisingly reminiscent of early Michael Jackson, but the song doesn’t go anywhere on it’s own, and Bieber lacks the chops to move it anyplace special. Still, this is a lot better than his first single, and makes me wonder if Bieber has more talent (or at least better handlers) than I first gave him credit for.

Glee Cast
“It’s My Life/Confessions Part II”, #30
“Halo/Walking On Sunshine”, #40
For the first time you can actually hear the joke, not only through the silliness of the mash-ups themselves, but in the performance—that last high note on “Halo” could kill small animals. The Bon Jovi/Usher mix is so seamless it reveals the essential meaninglessness of both (which is more to Usher’s detriment than Bon Jovi’s—at this point who expects a Bon Jovi song to mean anything?). The Beyonce/Katrina and the Waves mix is a little rougher, but speeding up “Halo” is an improvement over the original (or it would be if the performance were better), since it removes all the bombastic nonsense Ryan Tedder is so fond of and cuts down on the near-religious awe Beyonce’s original wallowed in. Neither of these is worth listening to more than twice, mind you, but they’re still a big improvement over what came before.

Chris Brown featuring Lil Wayne and Swizz Beats—”I Can Transform Ya”
#52
This may seem like an odd choice for a comeback single, but it’s probably a smart move commercially for Brown to toughen up his sound—no one at this moment in time is going to buy him as a romantic balladeer or pop crooner, so a strong dance record makes sense. Swizz Beats comes up with a distinctive sound for the record, too, machine-like but swinging at the same time. Trouble is, Brown’s voice isn’t really suited for this type of material (I’m not sure his voice is suited for any kind of material, actually), and Lil Wayne, who has been omnipresent for three years now, is starting to sound tired and bored, if not quite boring.

T.I.—”Hell of a Life”
#54
Surprisingly upbeat, and even funny in spots, with an arrangement that, with it’s keyboard filigree and horns, literally approaches the baroque. As wrong-headed as he obviously sometimes is, it’s hard not to like T.I., even on records as overdone as this. Can you really blame a guy who’s heading off for jail for pulling out all the stops?

OneRepublic—”All the Right Moves”
#58
Having cornered the power ballad market, Ryan Tedder and his cohorts now set their sights on Coldplay via this pseudo-revolutionary blather. Written before they were stinking rich, I assume. I like the drum sound, though.

Ke$ha—”TiK ToK”
#79
The latest in what is now an undeniable trend: mindless party records about getting blotto (hey, times are hard out there). This is Lady Gaga without the artistic pretension, or 3Oh!3 without the sexism, or Katy Perry without the burlesque, or Cobra Starship without the male perspective or…well, you name ‘em. She seems to be more in control than most. She also sounds like she’s having a lot of fun. But does she really want all her men to look like Mick Jagger? In which decade would you be talking about, sweetie?

Creed—”Rain”
#91
Just to prove how sensitive they are they bring out the acoustic guitars, slow the tempo, and shelve the dramatic shifts in rhythm and dynamics. They still persist in fantasizing about destroying the world, though, a catastrophe which only they, like Noah, would survive. This is the problem with religious rock ‘n’ roll: it emphasizes the worst apocalyptic instincts of both.

Brooks & Dunn featuring Billy Gibbons—”Honky Tonk Stomp”
#97
To celebrate their upcoming professional divorce, B&D bring in a guy from ZZ Top to croak out the title hook and to add some very loud, very non-country guitar behind their good-old boy, wild man boasting. Why do I have a feeling I’m not going to miss them very much?

LMFAO featuring Lil John—”Shots”
#98
The butt end, so to speak, of the “let’s all get wasted” wedge that has forced itself into pop culture the last year or so. Like the Lil John of crunk legend, this is so blatant and so honest in it’s expression of drunken lust that it’s almost charming. Well, until you get to this, that is: “The ladies love us/when we pour shots/They need an excuse/to suck our cocks.” FYI, these guys, who are signed to will.i.am’s label, now have three records in the Hot 100. Is everybody in the music business drunk?

Birdman featuring Drake & Lil Wayne—”Money To Blow”
#100
“We goin be alright if we put Drake on every hook,” says Lil Wayne. Yeah, but first you’ve got to have a hook.

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New This Week

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Drake featuring Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem—”Forever”
#8
The beat is rote, the raps display a high amount of craft but little inspiration, and the air of self-congratulation is so thick it’s a wonder anyone else can breathe when these guys are in the room, but that’s not what makes this record so offensive. What’s makes this record so offensive is Drake, who lies through his teeth every damn minute of it. Exactly when did a guy who was a regular cast member on a successful TV series from the time he was fifteen shovel shit at the mall? When he was signing autographs on promotional tours? Or was that an episode of DeGrassi High he somehow confused with real life the way Ronald Reagan used to argue government policy by reminiscing about movies he’d been in? And when Drake says “nothing was done for me” what exactly does he mean? He’s got Lil Wayne for a mentor, he’s got a father who’s a well-respected session drummer, and his uncle is Larry Graham, formerly of Sly and the Family Stone and Graham Central Station, one of the most influential bass players in the history of funk and R&B. None of them lent him a hand or showed him a few chops or opened the occasional door or offered a few words of advice? Ever? I realize it’s accepted in the rap world to emphasize and exaggerate your hard knock past, but inventing one out of whole cloth strikes me as going way too far.

Drake featuring Lil Wayne & Young Jeezy—”I’m Going In”
#40
Drake has nothing to say, Lil Wayne sounds uninspired and repeats himself, and Young Jeezy says “motherfucker” a lot. This is a statement of purpose?

Leona Lewis—”Happy”
#50
Weird lyrics; they seem defensive, as if they were trying to justify the metaphorical excesses of her first hit, “Bleeding Love”. Maybe somebody suggested to Ryan Tedder he’d gone a little too far last time. Whatever the case, this is, thankfully, less self-abusive than “Bleeding” (or at least less graphic), and the chorus, surprisingly enough, almost lives up to the title. If Lewis wasn’t trying so hard to be the new Mariah Carey this might even be tolerable.

Kid Cudi featuring MGMT & Ratatat—”Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare)”
#59
It opens with Cudi (or at least his “lonely stoner” persona) rolling a joint, ends with a booze and dope fueled hangover, and in between ruminates, without relying too heavily on banalities, on a stoner lifestyle that sounds half fun and games and half self-medicated chronic depression. In other words, an interesting record, but also a trifle boring. The sound effects provided by Ratatat and MGMT are far less interesting than the borrowed dubstep of “Day ‘n’ Nite”; if this is the kind of music the guy listens to on a regular basis, it’s no wonder he doesn’t want to get out of bed

LMFAO—”La La La”
#61
Their borrowed lover man moves and borrowed techno are far less entertaining than their borrowed offensiveness (see “I’m In Miami Bitch”). Which wasn’t all that entertaining to begin with.

Mariah Carey—”I Want To Know What Love Is”
#66
In a way I feel sorry for Carey. After mounting her comeback and making the best music of her career over her last two albums (which wouldn’t be saying much, I know, execpt that there was truly excellent material on both records), she finds the ground shifting under her feet once again. The modern R&B she mastered so effortlessly had peaked with Usher over a year before her comeback album, and her older, massively successful style has been usurped by the likes of Leona Lewis, who gushes over-the-top sentimentality in a way Carey wouldn’t think to do now. And so, after a few flop singles and a couple of hits that were nowhere near the overwhelming sellers she’s used to, Carey goes back to the safety position of the power ballad (and a hoary old 80’s classic power ballad at that—”classic” in this case meaning a Foreigner song that everyone has heard to death already), unleashes her pipes at the upper limit of her range (though only near the end and deep in the mix, thank God), and generally pulls out all the commercial stops, and still the best she can get for a debut is number 66. The shame of it is that until this takes off for the Church of Our Lady Mariah of the Golden Larynx it shows more maturity and subtlety and soulfullness than any ballad she’s ever recorded. It’s not a great song, but for awhile she almost makes something great out of it—until, that is, she feels the need to ignore the song completely and massage her audience with her voice.

The Black Eyed Peas—”Meet Me Halfway”
#75
Like it or not, Fergie’s feigned soulfulness is a kind of home truth for a lot of fans out there, and I for one think that the Peas’ resistance to polishing up their singing is an attribute, certainly commercially if not always artistically. They appear to have no aesthetic principals at all, yet also come across as both friendly and likeable. This could be nothing but commercial calculation, but since they were pretty much like that even when they weren’t selling any records (and since “My Humps”, which is obviously the pattern for a lot of the new album, took them as much by surprise as anyone), I doubt it. They may well have fallen on this formula by accident, but who can fault them for running with it? Like it or not, they’re producing something that’s truly new, and they’ve convinced an army of fans to go along with them.

Bon Jovi—”We Weren’t Born To Follow”
#90
No, you were born to endlessy repeat yourself. And you’re good at it.

The All-American Rejects—”I Wanna”
#95
There’s actually a fairly nifty, if totally unoriginal, song under all the ego flashing, and under the influence of the remasters I detect a similarity in structure, melody and rhythm to the Rubber Soul era Beatles. But the Beatles usually knew how to keep their egos from getting in the way of their music (at least most of the time), something I doubt these guys will ever learn. To them, flaunting their ego is the music.

Carrie Underwood—”Cowboy Casanova”
#96
Always hip to the latest fab trends, Underwood harkens to the success of Katy Perry, mines some bubble-glam rhythms from the seventies, and even dresses up in a glittery drum-majorette jacket for the cover (or icon, or whatever you call it these days). It’s nice to see Nashville paying attention to a different part of the seventies, even if they still remain lost in that decade. The lyrics are generic, and this doesn’t hit as hard as “Before He Cheats”, but I suspect good clean fun like this is the best we can ever expect from Underwood.

Alice In Chains—”Check My Brain”
#99
I have one question: did they distort those guitars the old-fashioned way, by playing with the tape reels, or did they auto-tune them? Also, is it just my imagination, or is this song actually about how nice it is to live in California? I’m probably missing some ironic or cynical lyrical clue, but I can’t bring myself to listen closely enough to find out. Those guitars give me too much of a headache.

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New this week

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

Glee Cast—”Take A Bow”
#46
This is so bland I feel like I should apologize to Rihanna for saying her vocals lack personality. I can excuse actors for not being singers, but shouldn’t they at least know how to emote on the spoken bits? I’ve heard Glee is a pretty good show, but if it’s going to put records like this on the chart every week I may need to file a complaint with the FCC.

Jay-Z + Alicia Keys—”Empire State of Mind”
#50
The chorus is as hoakey as most “I Love My Hometown” songs, but it’s catchy, too, and it sticks in your head (somehow Jay-Z has convinced Keys to phrase just like he probably would if he could sing, which is both weird and fascinating somehow). The record as a whole, however, like everything else I’ve heard from The Blueprint III, is seriously off-kilter. This isn’t a song about how great New York is, it’s a song about how great Jay-Z was to rise from its mean streets to become a star. By name-checking Sinatra and paraphrasing Billy Joel for the title, he makes it obvious that he intends to supersede them as the King of New York; he then proceeds to paint a picture of the city that’s so dark, especially in the final verse, and takes such obvious enjoyment in putting down the suckers who aren’t as successful as he is, that you wonder why anybody would want to live there at all. Especially if they had to share the streets with this self-satisfied jerk.

Jay-Z + Mr. Hudson—”Young Forever”
#75
Immortality through fame isn’t a new idea, but Jay-Z raps like it is, and the first verse, where he parodies just about every rap video ever made, is great. The rest is just bragging, with unnecessarily dark overtones (he sounds like it’s only just occurred to him that he’s going to die someday—and who knows, maybe it did). As for Mr. Hudson, his voice is a garbled mixture of Sting and Chris Martin, and his phrasing is as cliched and obvious as that combination would suggest.

Three Days Grace—”Break”
#91
The lyrics say something about breaking through to a higher level, but the music breaks through nothing, not even the banality barrier, and I keep thinking that what they really mean is that everybody could use a nice vacation once in a while. If they promise to make theirs permanent I’d be happy to lend them some luggage.

Boys Like Girls featuring Taylor Swift—”Two Is Better Than One”
#92
A terrible song, and a darkly portentous one, since it suggests that Taylor Swift’s apparent weakness for guys in noisy pop-punk bands is badly affecting her judgment. Singing with Def Leppard on an awards show or dressing up like Kiss is harmless nostalgic fun, but aiding and abetting a band as awful as Boys Like Girls suggests a major lapse in judgment. She’ll regret this some day; if she doesn’t, we will.

Ester Dean featuring Chris Brown—”Drop It Low”
#94
I like the sound of this, which in it’s minimalism and dirty talk reminds me of some of the jerkin’ records coming out of L.A., and I like it even more near the end when the hooks pile up on each other in a mixture that isn’t minimalist at all. But Chris Brown’s presence is a conundrum. Was this recorded before he beat up Rihanna? Even if it was, why release it now? At this point, would any woman in her right mind climb into his Bugatti with him? Whatever the case, chances are this will go nowhere on radio, which is a shame. Couldn’t they get Drake or somebody for a remix?

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New this week

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

Selena Gomez—”Magic”
#61
As seventies power pop staples go, I’ve never thought much of Pilot’s “Magic”. Pristinely produced by Alan Parsons, it’s a stiff Badfinger rip-off, second-rate Beatles twice removed. Compared to this version, however—part of the Wizards of Waverly Place soundtrack, which also includes covers of “Magic Carpet Ride”, “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic”, and “Do You Believe in Magic?”—Pilot are The Beatles. Even though the remake is shorter than the original, it sounds slower, metalish guitars and plodding drums turning it into a boring slog. It would help if Gomez sang as if she weren’t being forced at gunpoint, but it isn’t all her fault—obviously Disney’s producers are only interested in putting out if they’ve got a share of the publishing.

Madonna–”Celebration”
#71
What year is this? Except for the techno touches, this could have been Madonna’s followup to “Holiday” or “Into the Groove”. Aside from the naughty spoken bit (not dirty, mind you, just naughty) she sounds as if she were 22 again. It’s one of the odd realities of pop music careers: if you stick around long enough, even through the lean times, the culture will always come back to where you started.

Whitney Houston—”I Look To You”
#74
With R Kelly channelling Diane Warren as a songwriter, and the arrangement staying safely in tasteful power ballad territory (will someone please put that drummer out of his misery?), this would be a terrible record if it wasn’t for Houston’s voice. To say it sounds lived in would be an understatement—it sounds as if its been plowed under and dredged back up. For a few moments, especially in the second verse, Houston seems ready to take the song over and drag it to church where it belongs, but the banality of the chorus distracts her, and once she’s lost her focus there’s nothing left but cliche. It could be a lot worse, but it could be a lot better.

Muse—”Uprising”
#81
Though Queen and Blondie have been cited as influences, I hear more Gary Glitter (or Battles) and U2. Whatever the case, add it all up and you get INXS in revolutionary mode. Which isn’t a bad thing at all, especially since you can galumph to it.

Jaime Foxx featuring The-Dream, Drake, & Kanye West—”Digital Girl”
#92
Once again, I have a hard time telling Foxx from his counterparts, especially The-Dream (though I have found at least one clue: whichever voice is thinnest, that’s Foxx). This is a pleasant trifle, and Drake is so hot right now it may even be a hit, but “Blame It” it ain’t. (Oh, and another way to tell the players wihtout a program: whoever makes the most references to having sex in the kitchen, that’s Foxx, too.)

Brad Paisley—”Welcome To the Future”
#98
This may be stating the obvious, but in country terms Paisley is a weirdo, and this may be his weirdest yet. Paisley is a weirdo because, for all his traditional trappings, he’s a modernist, as comfortable with technology and urbanity as he is with rusticity. He may be a good old boy, but he isn’t narrow, he isn’t blindly redneck in his vision, and he isn’t stupid. What makes this song so weird is the way it shifts from a shallow good old boy perspective (”Man, isn’t all this modern technology nuts?”) to something more universal and open (”Wow, isn’t it cool we’ve got a black president?”). He proves how smart he is by turning country sentimentality back on itself (how many country songs praising the civil rights movement have you heard?). Plus, he stages a guitar duel with a synthesizer and let’s the synthesizer win. After his last single, “Then”, I was afraid that Paisley was retiring back into comfortable cliche. Turns out he was just softening up the audience before stretching things even further.

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New this week

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

Mary J Blige featuring Drake—”The One”
#63
As good as it was to know that Blige had found marital happiness, her odes to her man and their relationship didn’t sell very well, so here she toughens up, brings in a ringer, and delivers a rip off of “A Milli” that, if nowhere as good as the original, is still a lot better than Beyonce’s. Drake, whose part seems to have been stuck in as an afterthought, adds nothing but sales power.

Michael Franti & Spearhead—”Say Hey (I Love You)”
#82
Despite the lyrical references to dancehall and production by reggae legends Sly and Robbie, this sounds more New Orleans than Jamaica to me, not that that ’s a bad thing. It also sounds more Jack Johnson than Franti, which is. There’s something frustratingly automatic about this record in it’s sunny brightness, something a little too perfect, as if everybody were being careful to only color within the lines.

Demi Lovato—”Catch Me”
#89
Lovato’s vocal affectations—the short sharp breaths at the end of phrases, the cracking teen falsetto that at times makes her sound like a 12-year-old—can be so irritating that it’s easy to forget how well they fit the song’s subject: romantic confusion and barely tempered longing. Needless to say, that irritant also acts as a hook, and Lovato oozes innocent charm even as she’s overtaken by lust (though she would never call it that).  She’s no Taylor Swift, but she’s not quite your run of the mill Disney pop princess, either. Of course, that might just be a part of the Mouse’s marketing plan.

Beastie Boys featuring Nas—”Too Many Rappers”
#93
“Grandpa been rapping since ‘83.” They’ve lost a few steps over the years, of course, and the clever rhymes and disses don’t flow as freely as they used to, but the beats still thunder, and they’re still smarter and wiser than most. But aging rappers are no less of a conundrum than aging rock stars, and I’m not sure they should waste their time dissing the Black Eyed Peas, no matter how cleverly they manage it. Once they start yelling at kids to get off their lawn, it’s over.

Zac Brown Band—”Toes”
#95
This is the first Jimmy Buffet rip-off (or homage I guess you could call it) I’ve heard that captures Buffet’s laid-back smarts at their best, catchy tunes, silly rhymes, and all. Unfortunately, the silliest rhyme (”care-o” and “dinero”) draws on a feeling of good ol’ boy privilege in a foreign land that comes across as just short of racism.  Perhaps I’m being too sensitive, but this sense of rural superiority (rural meaning good old American values, of course, whatever they are), even, or especially, when drunk or stoned, is one of the things that’s most irritating about current country music, and this song, despite all its charms, strikes me as stepping over the line.

Jeremih—”Imma Star (Everywhere We Are)”
#96
I’m still not sold on “Birthday Sex” except as camp, but building a cut as artful as this one based on nothing but variations on the hook from Kanye West’s “Flashing Lights” demonstrates real talent on the make. His phrasing and timing are near-perfect, and there are lyrical moments that suggest he may have more brains than “Birthday Sex” let on. But on only his second single he’s already rapping about how famous he is. Not a good sign.

Beyonce—“Sweet Dreams”
#97
Not bad, but underneath the drums and the low warbling synth is one hell of a corny song. Whenever I hear the male backup singers going “Ho!” in the background I have visions of a dream sequence from some big Hollywood musical from the fifties, full of garish Technicolor and energetic dancers seen only in silhouette, a no-expenses-spared mixture of conspicuous class and pure hokum. That’s entertainment, I guess.

Mat Kearney—“Closer To Love”
#100
I usually try to avoid the “Artist 1 + Artist 2 = Artist 3” formulation when I’m reviewing records, but “Closer To Love” is so lacking in any distinguishing characteristics of its own that it’s unavoidable. So, The Fray + Leona Lewis = Mat Kearney. Sometimes pop really is just formula.

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New this week

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Shakira—“She Wolf”
#34
If you’re going to go retro disco, Shakira says, go all the way–and she does. The sheer silliness of this record is dazzling. The bubbling bass line, the funk guitar, the distorted vocals, the panting, the strings. She even sings in a voice reminiscent of the phonetic pronunciation of German disco. And the lyrics, translated from Spanish, sound like bad subtitles. “Darling it is no joke, this is lycanthropy.” “I’m starting to feel just a little abused/like a coffee machine in an office.” “Nocturnal creatures are not so prudent.” She wolf, my ass, Shakira’s turned herself into something even better: the love child of Abba and Boney M.

OneRepublic with Sara Bareilles—“Come Home”
#80
The most hilariously awful record of 2009. The giggles start on the very first line—“Hello world, I hope you’re listening”—and when Ryan Tedder slips into his falsetto I totally lose it. Bareilles does her part as well, with a “yeah” that’s a perfect parody of singer-songwriter faux soulfulness. The laughs continue to the very end, where Tedder and Bareilles exchange urgent “come homes” and the piano finishes with a grace chord that’s the ultimate mixture of meaningless sentiment and pop smarm. Granted, the joke may sour a bit when this shows up in the repertoire of endless American Idol contestants, but for the moment it’s the best laugh the Hot 100 has given me all year. Flight of the Conchords couldn’t have done it any better.

Drake featuring Trey Songz—“Successful”
#89
This is smart, funny, and honest, but it also sounds, at first, like a mix tape goof that came off better than anyone had anticipated. The pivot point is Drake’s “I suppose”, which sound like nothing but lyrical filler at first, but ultimately provides the sense of self-doubt that drives the record and makes it something deeper than the usual “I want money” rap. Successful? What does that mean?

Jason Mraz—“If It Kills Me”
#92
If you overplay cute it curdles, and when your only talent is a certain offhand charm, it’s best not to go on for four and half minutes and overload your arrangement with strings. It makes you look even shallower than you really are.

Daughtry—“You Don’t Belong”
#95
The problem with post-grunge overkill is that what it usually kills is the emotion that inspired the song in the first place. This time, somehow, it doesn’t. I’d make no case for this being a great song, but whatever frustrations it’s meant to express come across despite its flaws. I don’t know if it’s the changes in vocal texture, the weird breaks in the meter, or just the way Daughtry shouts “No!” at the beginning of each chorus, but as one dimensional as the emotion may be, at least it’s there. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can say for Nickelback.

Darryl Worley—“Sounds Like Life To Me”
#99
Loaded with all sorts of homey details, just like a good country song is supposed to be, and yet it still sounds as phony as a three dollar bill. Not only does this not sound like life, it doesn’t sound like much of anything at all. But then, how many variations on “Shit Happens” can you produce and still make it register?

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New This Week

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

Daughtry–”No Surprise”
#15
Warning to hipsters: the psychedelic vocal effects that open and close this otherwise boring record do not mean that Chris Daughtry has been listening to Animal Collective and Grizzly Bear. It means that, like all backward looking, self-serious rockers, Daughtry thinks adding psychedelic Beatlesish touches to his records is a sign of artistic maturity and musical growth. I wish I could be sure Animal Collective and Grizzly Bear don’t think the same way.

Eminem featuring Dr. Dre–”Old Time’s Sake”
#25
Depressing fact: Remember that sketch on The Marshall Mathers LP where Eminem’s manager advises him to stop talking about homosexuals and vicodin and rap about blunts and bitches like everybody else? This is where Eminem heeds that advice. More depressing fact: Eminem’s rhymes are more complicated and technically accomplished than ever, but he has absolutely nothing to say. Most depressing fact of all: This is easily the best track from Relapse so far. (Extra special bonus depressing fact: Just for old time’s sake, Dre calls people he doesn’t like faggots.)

Sean Kingston–”Fire Burning”
#29
What does it mean that every time I’ve worked on this list I’ve completely forgotten this record existed? Yeah, that’s what I thought it meant.

Paula Abdul–”I’m Just Here for the Music”
#87
Better than you might expect, if nothing special, but listening to this record is like stepping into a time warp. Abdul, who is 46 and hasn’t had a solo hit since 1995, sings this like she’s the latest bouncy Disney star, with occasional Britney touches. Since a lot of Disney pop is based on late 80s and early 90s dance music, she’s essentially aping, or more likely trying to reclaim, a style that she helped to invent. After 8 years of staring dumbfounded (or worse) at wannabes, who can blame her? It’s lonely there at the judges’ table, isn’t it Paula?

Drake–”Best I Ever Had”
#92
Ultimately forgettable, but check out the phrasing and the rhyme scheme: Kanye’s takeover of rap is almost complete.

Young Money–”Every Girl”
#96
Here’s a rarity, a rap record with Lil Wayne where he isn’t the best thing on it. The full title, of course, is “I Want to Fuck Every Girl in the World”, and Wayne and the Young Money crew not only tell us how they want to do that, but provide an ever-expanding list. Forward thinking and honorable guys, they’re willing to wait three years for Miley Cyrus. They’re open minded, too; listen closely to the fade and you’ll notice that the list includes “midgets” and “retards”. Note to Eminem: If you’re going to be offensive, you need to be funny, remember?

Fast Life Yungstaz–”Swag Surfin’”
#99
Don’t care for Soulja Boy? How would you feel about a cobbled together trio who rap over pseudo Soulja Boy beats about underage drinking and shopping? That’s what I thought. The only thing I want to know is if Polo payed for their studio time.

Update: My bad: Young Money is a crew, not a person. Duh. Now corrected.

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