DJ Drama featuring Fabolous, Roscoe Dash & Wiz Khalifa—”Oh My”
In which three guys who have never had anything to say say it together over a track that has nothing to say, either. At least DJ Khaled’s tracks are full of racial pride; this is just full of it.
Big Sean featuring Kanye West & Roscoe Dash—”Marvin & Chardonnay”
Big Sean is Big Sean, Roscoe Dash is, I guess, Roscoe Dash—to tell the truth I didn’t even realize he was on here until I read the credits—and Kanye West is a strange and shriveled parody of himself. First time I heard this I thought West was Big Sean doing a Weezy imitation; even when I realized it was West himself I could barely believe it. It’s not just that his verse is bad—West has been bad plenty of times before—it’s that it isn’t even an interesting or offensive form of bad, it’s sub-par in every possible way. Now I’m beginning to wonder if it isn’t West making fun of Big Sean instead of the other way around.
Pia Toscano—”This Time”
Apparently Jimmy Iovine thinks Toscano can be a star despite her early booting off of American Idol. To prove it, he gets Ester Dean to write up a pale imitation of a Ryan Tedder track and tells Toscano to sing as loudly as she can. At least that’s how I imagine it went. I figured I’d give Toscano a break and not blame her the first time out. Next time, though…
This is as dirty as country can get and still be played on the radio, though I suspect the only program it would really fit on is the old Dr. Demento show. The main joke you see, is rhyming “fish” with “truck” and “luck”, an idea that puts it right up there with “Shaving Cream” in the intellectual humor department. There are also some double entendres involving fishing rods and little pink bobbers. Which doesn’t mean it isn’t enjoyable in a leering, adolescent sort of way.
Rascal Flatts featuring Natasha Bedingfield—”Easy”
What exactly is Natasha Bedingfield, or her management, or her record company, thinking? A few years ago she was pioneering a form of white-girl hip-hop which, if slick as hell, at least carried some meaning; now she’s lending her voice to one of the worst bands in the world on a “country” power-ballad that makes Lady Antebellum look like masters of emotional restraint. Unless she’s planning to go “country” herself how does this possibly further her career other than keeping her name in the charts? Yeah, her last album tanked, but that’s because she had lost track of where her true strengths lie. Now she’s even further off course.