Posts Tagged ‘Hannah Montana’

Hot 100 Roundup—10/31/10

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Mean”
#11
The idea that this record is intended as an assault on music critics in general, or even specific ones who I won’t mention by name, strikes me as ridiculous. So ridiculous, in fact, that I wonder if those suggesting it have actually listened to the song. The real target, as made obvious in both the lyrics and, most importantly, the traditional bluegrass sound, is the country audience itself, and especially those of a certain bent (though Swift never sinks so low as to actually call them rednecks) who fill the comment sections of country web sites with misspelled and grammatically incorrect attacks on Swift’s technical abilities. In other words, she’s taking on what is often spoken of as the heart of the country audience, the rural, “true” Americans who make sure no country singer ever dares step out of line, and telling them to shut the hell up. Teenage rebellion being essentially unheard of in the country charts, most critics seem not to recognize it when they hear it, especially when it’s hidden behind a lovely tune and cheery sarcasm. Swift is not only better than most everybody else, she may be better than anyone dared hope. And she’s still growing.

Katy Perry—”Firework”
#57
I cut Perry a lot of slack, and she’s capable of doing wonderful things, but only when she’s not being serious about it, or taking herself as some sort of image for youth. This is a stylistic mess, bland and irritating at the same time, with vocals that sound like she’s attempting a Steve Perry imitation. It’s as if Journey had tried to write a rave anthem.

Hannah Montana featuring Iyaz—”Gonna Get This”
#66
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

Willow—”Whip My Hair”
#78
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/17/10

Kanye West featuring Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Bon Iver & Nicki Minaj—”Monster”
#79
Kanye may think of himself as a monster, but he isn’t capable of sounding like one, no matter how hard he tries. Ditto Rick Ross, who sounds lost. The Bon Iver coda is an interesting surprise, suggesting deeper ideas that are never quite fleshed out. Nicki Minaj’s vocal contortions are fascinating, but they get old fast, and she doesn’t say much. All of which leaves Jay-Z in control of the record, especially when he brings it to a full halt announcing that he never gets enough love (this is after bragging about killing anyone who gets in his way). It’s a bit too much of a set piece to be believable or revealing, but it’s a hilarious shock all the same.

Kings Of Leon—”The End”
#82
This is the first record I’ve heard from these guys that makes a case for their reputation, or at least their record sales. Opening up their sound reveals an emotional center and does a better job of suggesting they possess real feelings than all their bombastic declarations. Mind you, it may all be by rote, but at least they’ve found a more skillful way of faking it.

Rihanna featuring Drake—”What’s My Name?”
#83
Drake, with his stupid, phoned-in ancient sex jokes, is as irritating as ever, but once he’s finished, this dancehall-inflected mid-tempo jam is the return to Rihanna’s old dance-pop style that she’s been advertising. Only now it’s informed by a sharper and darker sensibility, and a deeper emotional resonance. The mechanical, producer’s toy quality of her vocals has disappeared, and if she doesn’t have much to say, at least she sounds like a complete human being.

T-Pain featuring Rick Ross—”Rap Song”
#89
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

My Darkest Days featuring Ludacris—”Porn Star Dancing”
#90
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/17/10

Lloyd—”Lay It Down”
#91
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

The Black Keys—”Tighten Up”
#93
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

Natasha Bedingfield—”Strip Me”
#95
The martial drum sound tips you off to the presence of Ryan Tedder, trying his best to turn this into another “Halo”, but the rest of the record, for better or worse, is all Bedingfield. Once upon a time she tried to set Shelley and Keats to a hip-hop beat; now it seems her only literary inspiration is collections of daily affirmations. At the same time she sounds royally pissed off, most likely at her record company, if not at the world in general. Despite the somewhat daring chorus, she isn’t doing anything here she hasn’t done before. She remains an odd, puzzling disappointment.

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Hot 100 Roundup—10/24/10

Friday, October 29th, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Back To December”
#6
The problem with most pop and country ballads isn’t that they’re slow and lugubrious (though they often are), but that they’re so damned predictable. You can see every turn in the melody and lyric (if there are any turns, which is another problem) coming before you’ve even gotten through the solemn piano intro. Not this one. Almost effortlessly, Swift generates the drama a good ballad is supposed to contain. She can pack more words into a line without sounding like she’s overdoing it than anyone in the business, and the melody, which bounces up and down like a heartbeat on the chorus, goes places no other country balladeer would ever consider. She constantly comes up with lyrical details that sound lived in rather than looked up, and unlike most of Swift’s previous records, the ending is ambiguous and avoids another fairy tale conclusion. Though how any man with sense could say no to her is beyond me.

Glee Cast
“Lucky”, #27
“River Deep, Mountain High”, #41
“Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy”, #48
“Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”, #50
“Sing!”, #87
“Le Jazz Hot”, #94

Nelly featuring T-Pain and Akon—”Move That Body”
#54
Since Nelly has already made his comeback I can’t call this “three attempted comebacks on a single record”, but that sure is what it sounds like. Nelly is all right, and Akon is Akon, but T-Pain has never sounded duller, auto-tuning the only thing that makes him identifiable. Live by the plug-in, die by the plug-in.

Sugarland—”Little Miss”
#80
Sugarland suffers from what I’ve always thought of as Jackson Browne Syndrome. Crafty, catchy, and intelligent as they obviously are, too often their music seems totally detached from their lyrics, and on a song like this, when the lyrics aren’t clear, it’s virtually impossible to discover what the damn thing is about. Feelings, I guess, nothing more than feelings.

Darius Rucker—”This”
#83
Another ordinary celebration of the ordinary from the king of same. Though it’s possible to admire his consistency, if it isn’t a rut it sure ain’t a groove.

Trace Adkins—This Ain’t No Love Song”
#100
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/17/10

Bubbling Under:

T-Pain featuring Rick Ross—”Rap Song”
#103
It’s probably unfair to compare T-Pain to The-Dream—The-Dream is a kind of genius, whereas T-Pain is a guy who had one brilliantly inspired idea and whose inspiration is fading fast—but if I’m going to listen to a song about making love to other people’s music, I’ll stick to “Kelly’s 12 Play”. Aside from a clever, if somewhat aged, Kanye joke, and the tasteless suggestion of having sex to Straight Outta Compton, this contains nothing to distinguish it from a lot of other auto-tuned slow jams. And has Rick Ross ever sounded more out of place than he does here? Did they just lift his rap from another record and stick it in?

Lloyd—”Lay It Down”
#105
Lloyd’s made some strong records over the last couple of years, but unlike Trey Songz, who was in a similar position until he finally broke a few months ago, Lloyd hasn’t been as lucky on the charts. And now it sounds as if he’s getting desperate, because this song is seriously insane. Vocally it’s all over the place, crooning here, yelping there, auto-tuned and stretched like a rubber band in the chorus, and ending, God help us all, with yodeling. He sounds like he’s having a great time, but the rest of us are left scratching our heads. It gets your attention, but where exactly is this all supposed to end? And will anybody else be around when it does?

My Chemical Romance—”Only Hope For Me Is You”
#106
This is strong and catchy, but it goes on too long and gets dangerously close to Linkin Park territory. There’s such a thing as coming on too strong. Trust your sense of humor, guys, it hasn’t failed you yet.

The Black Keys—”Tighten Up”
#110
Danger Mouse’s production makes this more than just a late-’60s funk/rock homage, but not much more, and the vocals and lyrics take you right back to Grand Funk Railroad territory. And if there’s any band who’s reputation doesn’t need a positive reassessment, it’s Grand Funk Railroad. Queen was bad enough.

Big Time Rush—”Til I Forget About You”
#111
Catchier and more mature than their first single, but still nothing to get excited about, even if you’re thirteen. In fact, they may have matured just enough to put themselves into demographic limbo.

Hannah Montana featuring Iyaz—”Gonna Get This”
#112
Despite the credit to Hannah Montana rather than Miley Cyrus, this is not Disney pop. Disney pop doesn’t exist anymore. Partly this is because Disney pop has become more mature and up-to-date, but largely it’s because pop music itself has taken a giant step in the direction of Disney. There’s now no noticeable difference between the two. No doubt this was Disney’s plan all along, though it does make you wonder how they’ll distinguish any stars they try to create in the future from the mass. As for this record, it’s pretty good, nearly as good as anything Miley Cyrus has put out under her own name, though not as good as the best stuff she did as Hannah Montana. Since there’s no real difference between the two anymore, I suppose it’s as good a time as any to end it.

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New this week—7/25/10

Tuesday, July 27th, 2010

Usher featuring Pitbull—”DJ Got Us Falling In Love”
#19
When I saw this I figured that Usher would be overshadowed by Pitbull—and he is, barely—but I didn’t suspect they’d both be left in the dust by producer Max Martin, who owns this record, for better or worse. It’s not great, but it’s a lot more fun than anything else Usher has released lately, and it’s certainly a step up from “OMG”. Pitbull sounds a little lost, though, as if he’d suddenly found himself transported from Miami to a Swedish disco and was trying to bluff his way out.

Darius Rucker—”Come Back Song”
#67
Easygoing country is in fashion now, and Rucker is it’s king. This is so easygoing, in fact, that you don’t believe a word of it—if he really wanted his woman back he’d come up with a better apology than “My bad.” He loses me, though, on the very first line: “I woke up again this morning…” Yeah, I hate when that happens, too.

New Boys featuring Iyaz—”Break My Bank”
#71
They still possess a certain amount of charm, but their jerkin’ days are over. For one thing, no matter how young the artists are, jerkers don’t make little kids stuff, which is apparently all that Iyaz is capable of. What a disappointment.

Auburn featuring Iyaz—”La La La”
#74
More kindergarten hip-hop, this time from producer J.R. Rotem, who essentially invented the genre with Sean Kingston and Iyaz. Catchy and irritating in equal measure; a whirlpool of inanity and overproduction designed to suck you into the void.

Chiddy Bang—”Opposite of Adults”
#90
Despite their dis of Asher Roth, these guys work close to the same territory. Their beats are denser and more “authentic”, their rhymes more clever, but their snotty twenty-something persona is right out of Roth’s playbook. When you compare yourself to a Will Ferrell character, you’re tagging yourself in a way that’s going to be damn hard to shake off. I remember when rappers used to make fun of posh snobs, not play them.

Hannah Montana—”Ordinary Girl”
#91
Terrible record, but I find it interesting that Miley Cyrus’s alter ego says straight out what Cyrus can never manage to say herself without tons of costume and make-up. The only thing they get wrong is the humility. I don’t think Cyrus thinks of herself as an ordinary girl at all.

Monica—”Love All Over Me”
#94
Maybe it’s just my own dirty mind, but the obvious double entendre of the title line and Monica’s intense sincerity in the rendering of it make me laugh every time I hear this song. Good thing for her it’s a ballad, or every rapper in the country would be freestyling all over her as well.

Easton Corbin—”Roll With It”
#98
Corbin has his charms, but this is a very ordinary George Strait rip-off minus Strait’s sense of moderation and taste. Though it does confirm my growing belief that the real test of country authenticity is whether or not you were conceived in the back of a pickup truck.

Rob Thomas—”Mockingbird”
#100
“We can’t move on/We can’t stay here”. Is he talking about the 80s?

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New this week—1/24/10

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Sade—”Soldier of Love”
#58
Sonically this is stunning, especially the drums, which switch seamlessly in sound from a military tattoo to distant artillery to nearby gunfire—it’s enough to make you believe that they spent the entire eight years between albums getting the sound right. The lyrics are banal, though, no matter how gorgeously sung or perfectly set they may be. Their/her attention to musical detail is so complete that they seem to have completely missed the oxymoron in the title, or considered the possibility that they’ve never found real love because they think of it as a battlefield to begin with. That’s the trouble with perfectionism: once it latches onto an idea, it can’t abide contradictions.

Lady Antebellum–”Ready To Love Again”
#72
The ever-more-questionable single-a-week campaign continues, and sure enough, here comes the dreck. This sounds like the closing credits music for some Lifetime Channel original movie. Should you really issue four singles to preview your new LP if it’s only two singles deep?

Jay-Z + Swizz Beats—”On To the Next One”
#78
Jay-Z sounds fine (though a bit defensive—when has anyone actually accused him of being a virgin?), but the real star is Swizz Beats, who seems to have decided to take up where Timbaland left off (or gave up). His productions have always been fun, but this one has just enough added seriousness and menace to take it up another level.

Snow Patrol featuring Martha Wainwright—”Set the Fire To the Third Bar”
#86
As far as I’m concerned, any guy who writes a line like “the laughter penetrates my silence” doesn’t deserve to be reunited with his girlfriend, no matter how many lonely bars he mutely wanders through. He certainly doesn’t deserve Martha Wainwright, who nonetheless almost succeeds in saving the song, if only because her sweet, simple harmonies distract you from the relentless downtrodden wallow of the lead vocal.

Miley Cyrus—”When I Look At You”
#88
Is this what we have to look forward to when Cyrus gives up pop and “matures”? Me, I prefer the Disney stuff, even the cutesy nonsense, to preening power ballads like this. And I’ll bet you whatever you like that the last Hannah Montana soundtrack album will be better than anything Cyrus releases after she leaves Disney.

Keith Urban—”‘Til Summer Comes Around”
#92
The music is so portentous and the images so dismal—wintry silence, deserted carnival rides, etc.—that this could almost be taken for one of Bruce Springsteen’s post-industrial wasteland songs. Except Springsteen’s songs are about the death of community, the decline of the nation’s principals and ideals, spiritual devastation at both a personal and societal level. Urban’s song is about missing a girl he made out with on a Ferris Wheel once. The imagery is so overwhelming compared to the subject that after awhile it becomes the subject, which—and I would hope that it’s needless to point this out—isn’t the way songs are supposed to work.

Zac Brown Band—”Highway 20 Ride”
#98
A standard country divorce weeper, with extra dollops of self-pity. Brown spends most of the song feeling so sorry for himself he barely addresses the son he’s supposedly talking to. Maybe he should stick to Jimmy Buffett rip-offs and leave the real emotions to people who have some.

Pearl Jam—”Just Breathe”
#99
Let’s face it, if it weren’t for the first Doors LP, Ten would probably be the worst “classic” album ever to grace the rock canon. Now, twenty years later, they’re still making the same mistakes: taking sentiment for real emotion, sincerity for real ideas, and vocal and instrumental texture for interesting music. They mean well, and they’ve gotten better, but too often that’s the only good thing that can be said about them. In this case, I wouldn’t even say they’ve gotten better.

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What it’s all about

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

Just as an addendum to my last post, one thing I didn’t take into consideration regarding the Hannah Montana stuff is the demographic factor. Since Cyrus is sixteen, it’s easy to imagine her demographic coming in that fairly narrow range of girls 12 to 18, and maybe a little older. But Disney doesn’t think in those terms–the lower range is more important to them than the upper–and the demo for Hannah Montana starts at about eight years old or even less. When you think about it in that way, songs like “Hoedown Throwdown” or “Ice Cream Freeze”, which are essentially updated versions of the Hokey Pokey (or, in the case of “Ice Cream”, the hand jive), make perfect sense. I still think it’s low to rewrite the same song for different markets in the space of a few months, but at least their existence is easier to understand. Viewed through the eyes of an eight year old, they become almost tolerable.

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New this week

Saturday, July 18th, 2009

Hannah Montana
“He Could Be the One” #10
“I Wanna Know You” (featuring David Archuleta) #74
“Ice Cream Freeze (Let’s Chill)” #87
Miley Cyrus, either as Hannah Montana or as herself, is the living definition of bubblegum: pretty and pink and shiny on the outside, nothing but air on the inside. The difference this time out is that at least one of these songs is bubblegum of a very high quality. “He Could Be the One” is instantly catchy, though it’s appeal fades just as fast, and “Ice Cream Freeze” is a needless remake of “Hoedown Throwdown”, coming less than two months after it’s predecessor left the charts. “I Wanna Know You”, however, is simply a great pop song (I recommend the solo version over this one; Archuleta’s voice doesn’t blend well with Cyrus’s, and his American Idol-style overkill almost ruins the song). Compared to most Disney pop it’s surprisingly subdued, without the tinny, forced brightness of so many of their records, and Cyrus never once plays it cute. Besides, how many pop records feature a tuba?

Mariah Carey–”Obsessed”
#11
With The-Dream and Tricky Stewart handling the production, this is a good record, though derivative of a lot of what they’ve done before. I like the way Carey uses her voice these days (she saves the churchy stuff for the end), and her relaxed, kiss my ass attitude. But there’s still something slightly stiff and inhuman about her, a feeling that’s emphasized by her belief that being a corporation is better than being a mom and pop and that holding a press conference is better than having a conversation. She thinks big, and there’s an unbridgeable distance between her and the real world that infects every note she sings.

Paramore–”Ignorance”
#67
Less catchy than “Misery Business” or “That’s What You Get”, less dumb pop-metal than “Decode”, this comes close to striking the balance I hope they’re looking for. Sometimes the music is too automatic, but Hayley Williams’ matter-of-fact, take no bullshit lyrics get better all the time. If only their riffs were as sharp and to the point.

Lupe Fiasco featuring Matthew Santos–”Shining Down”
#93
All of Fiasco’s stuff is a little off kilter–which is part of his appeal–but this one is especially weird. Not so much for Fiasco’s rap, though it does take self-admiration a little further than most, but for Santos, who can’t seem to decide which ego-driven rock singer he wants to imitate most: Bono? Chris Martin? Axl? Michael Hutchence? And while he’s making up his mind, I’m still waiting for that guitar arpeggio to turn into “Hotel California”.

Justin Bieber–”One Time”
#95
An Usher-approved 13 year-old white Canadian, Bieber got his start doing Chris Brown covers on YouTube. But except for the occasional patch of teenage warble his voice is so technically worked over here that you’d never guess his age. Not bad, but when he talks to his shorty you do wonder just how old she might be.

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