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Hot 100 Roundup—1/21/12

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

Jason Mraz—“I Won’t Give Up”
#8
Being the minor talent that he is, I expected Mraz to play it safe with a snappy sound-alike to “I’m Yours” for his next single, but it seems his talent is so minor he doesn’t realize where his best interests lie. This is super-serious, packed thick with sincere clichés that appear to have been lifted at random from self-help books. Each verse ends either with an affirmation or a “deep” question: “I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not, and who I am”; “God knows we’re worth it”; and my favorite, “How old is your soul?” These seem to have no connection to the lines that precede them, or a connection so vague that only those well versed in the jargon could understand them. I’m not sure that group includes Mraz. Just to give him the benefit of the doubt, I’d like to think this is intended as parody, but the music suggests otherwise. Which means that Mraz probably isn’t even a minor talent. He is a cad, though. That I know for sure.

Skrillex featuring Sirah—“Kyoto”
#74
Skrillex is polishing and improving his sound with every record. “Kyoto” adds a guest rap, but otherwise uses the same basic formula as his previous singles: establish a familiar groove with a hyped, bass heavy mix, stop dead with a scream of urgent exclamation, followed by a needle drop and all hell breaking loose, repeat, then end on the original groove. The big difference here is that the shifts are less dramatic, the change in style almost seamless (the fact that he’s working with hip-hop rhythms may have something to do with that). Whatever you may think of him, he’s a talent, and he isn’t stupid, his music is growing and developing. How far that development goes is another question: the clichéd “Japanese” melody here suggests that his musical sensibilities, however broad they may be, aren’t very deep.

3OH!3—“Set You Free”
#84
Another couple of minor talents who aren’t as smart as they think they are. I’m not saying that electro-clash can’t be used to transmit a “serious” message, but it does tend to take the “clash” out of it, which means it’s missing all the fun and most of reason for its existence. I like the line “I don’t live in bed no more”, but otherwise this is boring, pretentious, and self-pitying. They don’t even sound like themselves, they sound like Weezer fans with sequencers. Ke$ha should heed the warning: this is where taking yourself seriously gets you.

Gotye featuring Kimbra—“Somebody That I Used to Know”
#91
Imported from Belgium, this sounds like it could become the sort of sleeper hit that “Pumped Up Kicks” was, only without the pretentious seriousness. The mid-sixties Latin groove (courtesy of Luiz Bonfa’s “Seville”) gives it the feel of a Nancy Sinatra-Lee Hazlewood track, minus the camp value of Hazlewood’s singing. And the woman’s part, which starts with the best line in the song, “Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over”, carries echoes of Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me”. In other words, this contains references to enough pop landmarks, without any of them being obvious on first listen, to make it sound both familiar and out of the ordinary.

Montgomery Gentry—“Where I Come From”
#94
For the most part, I don’t mind country songs praising small town life—two of my favorite records of the last few years are Miranda Lambert’s “Famous In a Small Town” and Ashton Shepard’s “More Cows Than People”—but this is so aggressive, and so defensive, that it comes close to a kind or rural fascism. Their examples of small town life are bizarre, especially the lines about two guys fighting in a parking lot: “Nobody’s gonna call the cops”. So that’s what’s wrong with big cities; it’s not that people fight in the streets, it’s that people insist on summoning the authorities when they do. Better yet is the old man sitting on the porch who can “buy your fancy car with hundred dollar bills”. What is he, a rapper? A meth dealer? Whatever the case, I bet he drives an old beat-up pickup truck covered in mud when he takes his mother to church on Sunday morning. They always do.

Jay-Z Kanye West—“Gotta Have It”
#98
Is this actually being promoted as a single? If it is, it’s an odd choice. For starters, it isn’t even two and a half minutes long, which means it won’t fit on any existing radio formats. Second, though the James Brown sample provides a great hook, it isn’t up there with “Niggas In Paris” in sing- or hum-along terms. It does, however, continue in a more obvious way the theme of racial politics and black history that “Niggas” snuck in between the lines. Have they got some kind of thematic singles campaign going that they’re not telling anyone about? Or are they just being eccentric?

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Hot 100 Roundup—1/7/12

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

Taylor Swift featuring The Civil Wars—“Safe and Sound”
#30
It’s time, I suppose, for Taylor Swift to tweak her sound, but working with T-Bone Burnett—the man who has ruined more good performers than just about any producer I can think of—wasn’t the direction I was hoping for. This isn’t bad, but it’s just an average alt-folk ballad, a genre placement that should scare anyone who cares about Swift’s career. This is a soundtrack cut, so it may not mean much in terms of Swift’s future direction, but it’s worrying all the same. Even at her worst she’s never sounded so ordinary.

Flo Rida featuring Sia—“Wild Ones”
#57
Why did I never notice that Flo Rida has a lisp? No wonder he raps so fast. As for Sia, she seems willing to degrade herself in any way—first David Guetta, now this—if it means becoming the third-rate Robyn she’s always been destined to be.

Young Jeezy featuring Jay-Z & Andre 3000—“I Do”
#61
Not a great track; no one is in top form, but the difference in approach is interesting. Jeezy holds out the promise of marriage, but it’s just a ploy, because all he really wants is to get laid. Jay-Z, needless to say, takes the subject more seriously, maybe too seriously; he sounds as if he were holding himself back, trying to fictionalize his own situation to make it seem more gangsta. Andre 3000, meanwhile, is semi-serious but sounds like he’s still having fun, even while planning yet more headaches for poor Ms. Jackson.

Skrillex—“Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites”
#69
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 8/20/11

Adam Lambert—“Better Than I Know Myself”
#76
Lambert has real talent, but this is a mess. Not only is the arrangement ridiculous, but when he isn’t hitting impressive high notes Lambert’s voice sounds thin and out of place. He loves flash, but he doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself when he’s closer to the ground. And songs that are all flash are hard to come by.

Nicki Minaj—“Stupid Hoe”
#81
A dis track designed to allow Minaj to show off as many of her voices as possible. It’s impressive, if not quite enjoyable, or even coherent. One question: if this is directed at Lil Kim, why does Minaj do a Rihanna impersonation (which finishes with a horrible flat note) near the end? Is there a separate target for each voice? That would be impressive.

Mac Miller—“Knock Knock”
#88
Miller is an average rapper at best—when he talks about being deeper than the water Michael Phelps is in, he does realize that’s only about eight feet, right? But he has the one gift that all party rappers need: he knows how to put a hook together, and to make it unusual enough to get people’s attention in the first place. In other words, he’s an earworm menace. If he ever managed to get on the radio—for now his records are too quirky and filled with obscenities to qualify—he could be dangerous.

V.I.C.—“Wobble”
#94
This is the sort of bubbly pop-rap I’m a sucker for, but it’s so mechanical it wears quickly, and instead of emphasizing the rhythms as it goes on it seems to downplay them, a mistake on any record that has nothing much to say lyrically. I enjoy its lack of pretension, but it’s still a miss.

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Hot 100 Roundup—12/10/11

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

Rihanna
“Talk That Talk” (featuring Jay-Z), #31
“Where Have You Been”, #65
Dance music isn’t designed to stick in your memory, and I have the same problem with these that I have with the last couple of Rihanna’s records: I enjoy them when I hear them, but then forget all about them after. She’s so perfect for this sort of music, her slightly unreal buzz of a voice mixing seamlessly with the synths, that I barely notice a word she says, much less remember any afterwords (the same can’t be said of Jay-Z, though, who sounds newly energized, even if he doesn’t say anything special). She still doesn’t have any real personality on record other than sexy tough gal, and these tracks add nothing to that other than a few more hooks.

will.i.am featuring Mick Jagger & Jennifer Lopez—”T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)”
#36
It takes a certain amount of courage to rap “Oh my goodness/This beat is so hard” when, at the moment at least, there is no beat. And it takes a certain patronizing, disrespectful commercial instinct to end a guest spot by Mick Jagger with a musical quote from “Satisfaction”. Or to put the anonymous Jenifer Lopez on a track at all. With The Black Eyed Peas going on hiatus I thought will.i.am might take some time off to generate new ideas. Turns out he just wanted to milk the old ones without the other three in his way. And let’s face it: Mick Jagger sounds old, old, old.

Chris Brown featuring Kevin McCall—”Strip”
#85
Another step into the past for Brown. This sounds like something he would have recorded five years ago, if the then 16 year-old had been allowed to sing about strip clubs. Is he making up for lost opportunity or something? Or is he just totally out of ideas? He never had many.

Nickelback—”Lullaby”
#89
Not good, but again their subject matter surprises me. This could well serve as their contribution to the It Gets Better Project. Wonder what made them suddenly grow a conscious. Too bad they couldn’t have grown some musical ideas at the same time.

Tyga—”Rack City”
#94
The hook is strong enough to stick in your head whether you want it to or not, and the sparse beat is catchy in its own way, as well. Still not sure whether it’s about actual pimping or just, you know know, pimpin’. I’m not even sure which I would consider worse.

Outasight—”Tonight Is the Night”
#96
Straight from a Pepsi commercial to the charts. It’s not as bad as that makes it sound—I like the high energy touches—but it sure wouldn’t be on the charts otherwise.

Mana featuring Prince Royce—”El Verdadero Amor Perdona”
#100
I don’t know enough about Latin to identify all the cliches, but to my ears this is full of them. It sounds romantic in all the right ways, though, and the way the music and vocals shift mood from line to line is impressive. It just doesn’t sound very original.

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Hot 100 Roundup—8/27/11

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Drake—”Headlines”
#13
Is this guy capable of doing anything but feel sorry for himself? Fame didn’t turn out to be as much fun as he thought it would be; no one understands him or how hard he works; and there are all these women! Makes you wonder what he got into the business for. It sure wasn’t the music.

Jason DeRulo—”It Girl”
#39
I have mixed feelings about this record, largely because I find myself liking it more than I think I should. Most of DeRulo’s records have been terrible, but this time around he switches up his style, dumping his usual dense, sample based hip-hop for a lighter, more straight-ahead sound. Some say he’s trying to be Bruno Mars, but what I hear is a less desperate, more relaxed version of Chris Brown. In other words, a pleasant, minor talent who doesn’t carry a lot of excess baggage around with him. I doubt he’ll ever do anything great, but at least he isn’t an embarrassment.

Jay-Z & Kanye West
“Who Gon’ Stop Me”, #44
“Niggas In Paris”, #75
I have real difficulties with Watch the Throne. The music is often brilliant, but the lyrics are intentionally paradoxical, full of contradictions and ego-based hyperbole that are hard to work around or excuse. The opening line of “Who Gon Stop Me” is a perfect example: “This is something like the Holocaust/Millions of our people lost”. It’s a powerful statement, and like much of Watch the Throne, it places current events in a deeper historical context. Whether or not that context is fully justified in relation to what most of the tracks are about, however—that is, being rich and living high—is open to question. The overall stance of the album is that the suffering African-Americans have gone through is justification for those who are successful exalting themselves, living as high as they can, and bragging about it as much as possible. It’s hardly a new idea, as they well know; just the title “Niggas in Paris” alone conjures up images of black men and women who were in a position to take advantage of financial independence and the relative racial freedom of Europe and did so to excess: Joe Jackson, Josephine Baker, Sidney Bechet, James Baldwin, and many others. What gets left out of the story are the great majority who don’t have anything to brag about; not just African Americans, but Africans, whites, Latinos, Asians, and the Europeans who make their living serving people like Jay-Z and West and satisfying their needs. Like Jay-Z said in “Empire State of Mind”, “Pity half of y’all won’t make it”, with the unuttered followup, “sucker”, implied in his phrasing. It’s a drug dealer’s mentality, and even if they’re aware of it, and unsure of it, and emphasize the irony of it, it still stinks.

David Guetta featuring Sia—”Titanium”
#66
Guetta wisely lightens up his sound before the bombast takes over completely, and though this is nothing special at least it isn’t openly hostile to anyone with sensitive ears or a working brain. If he had found a singer other than Sia, whose lack of enunciation I find even more irritating here than on her own records, it might have been even better.

Miranda Lambert—”Baggage Claim”
#67
After Revolution I was afraid that Lambert was softening up, and that the woman who had made Crazy Ex-Girlfriend was gone for good. Going by this and the Pistol Annies album, though, that judgement was premature. “Baggage Claim” isn’t a great record: rhythmically it’s a little stiff, and the metaphor gets stretched almost to the breaking point, but it brings back the take-no-prisoners stance that made Lambert famous, with only the slightest lessening of intensity. She may not be as brash as she used to be, but she makes up for it with a sense of confidence that may be even more impressive. She knows what she wants, she knows how to get it, and she knows that she can. My only worry is that she’ll try so hard to make a perfect record that she’ll mistrust her best instincts and stiffen up. That’s was Revolution’s greatest weakness, and you can hear some of that on this record. Still, this sounds like a step in the right direction.

Evanescence—”What You Want”
#68
Keeping up with the times, Amy Lee and her new band mates toss a little Paramore-style melody into their mix, along with an easy to chant along with hook. I like this more than any Evanescence I’ve heard before, and for metal-edged pop (or is that pop-edged metal) this is high caliber. If the whole album sounds like this it could be another Superunknown (which should give you an idea of how much metal I listen to).

T.I. featuring B.o.B.—”We Don’t Get Down Like Y’all”
#78
The change in style—less fuzzy synths, more hard beats—is appreciated, but it’s also a step backwards towards a style he moved beyond years ago. What is new, at least to me, is the blatant homophobia. If people have a problem with Odd Future, what are they going to think of “Listen up, fag bait/them hot pants bad for your prostate.” Maybe he is just a jerk.

Luke Bryan—”Drunk On Love”
#79
Yet another song about a country girl shakin’ it for her man. In rap, women work the pole; in country, the tailgate. Bryan even steals an image from the blues: “Honey drips on the moneymaker”. Country radio programmers must know what that means, but I bet they’ll play it anyway. Pretty slow for yet another version of “Whole Lot of Shakin’”, though. I imagine Bryan intended this as a sexy grind, but since he doesn’t know sexy from a rusty pickup truck, all he gets is the grind.

The Script—”Nothing”
#89
You said it.

Mindless Behavior featuring Diggy—”Mrs. Right”
#97
There have been a lot of good teen rap groups the last couple of years, but this record is so insane, with both the vocals and the beats run through an autotune turned up to 11, that the damn thing never touches the ground. By the end of the first verse you’ve lost your bearings: just where did they expect this to end up? Good for a laugh, but that’s about it.

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Hot 100 Roundup—8/6/11

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

Red Hot Chili Peppers—”The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie”
#38
Not that it means much, but their craftsmanship is impressive: the grooves have become tighter, the song construction less erratic, the playing and singing expert. None of which changes the fact that this is the alt-rock version of mellow, smooth and meaningless. They wanted to be Parliament/Funkadelic, and turned into Tom Petty. It’s almost enough to make you feel sorry for them.

Jay-Z & Kanye West featuring Otis Redding—”Otis”
#47
The idea that this somehow demeans Redding is ridiculous. If anything, the way the sample is used emphasizes his vocal strengths and puts them in a framework younger listeners can appreciate. Besides, the song isn’t called “Otis” for nothing. It may be hubris for Jay-Z and West to see themselves as part of that tradition, but they’re not claiming to be more talented than Redding, just richer. Not that they don’t twist the meaning of his song. What “makes it easier to bear” in their case isn’t tenderness, it’s money, and all the style and beauty and high-powered toys it can buy them. Which doesn’t mean they’re not aware of the ironies of their situation, either: “Sophisticated ignorance” may be the greatest self-description West has ever come up with, only they’re not ignorant by a long shot. There are so may intellectual and emotional twists and turns in this record that it’s almost impossible to keep up with, and then James Brown get thrown into the mix and things jump to still another level. A great one.

Drake—”Marvin’s Room”
#68
Like all late night drunken phone calls, this starts out interesting but quickly becomes repetitive and boring. I appreciate what Drake is trying to do, but the relentless self-pity has become unbearable. He needs a new approach.

50 Cent—”Outlaw”
#87
This is easily 50 Cent’s best record since 2005 or so, maybe even longer. But he’s achieved it by going back to 2005, where he will no doubt be stuck for the rest of his career, such as it is. If you feel like reminiscing, I’d give this a listen.

Big Sean featuring Kanye West & Roscoe Dash—”Marvin & Chardonnay”
#88
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/30/11

Miguel—”Quickie”
#95
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/23/11

DJ Drama featuring Fabolous, Roscoe Dash & Wiz Khalifa—”Oh My”
#100
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/30/11

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Hot 100 Roundup—7/30/11

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

Demi Lovato—”Skyscraper”
#10
Lovato has one great and dangerous gift: a voice that can make even the most sentimental, over-reaching metaphors sound like felt emotion. It’s not something that can be learned—it either comes naturally or it doesn’t—but it can be developed, which is where the danger lies. Put too much emphasis on that quality, rely on it too much, and Lovato could end up the Connie Francis of her era, pumping out one godawful piece of dreck after another. So it’s good to see that she’s moving away from the affectations that filled her first few singles. This may be hard to believe if you’re not familiar with her earlier material, but trust me, compared to “Don’t Forget” this is a model of vocal restraint. “Skyscraper” doesn’t have much of a melody, and I have my doubts about the extended metaphor, if only because it conjures up images of 9/11, but it’s still a good record.

T-Pain featuring Joey Galaxy—”Booty Wurk (One Cheek At a Time)”
#44
Forget about The Lonely Island, T-Pain is the best musical comedian around, and he’s even funnier when people, most famously Jay-Z, don’t get the joke. This is one of his best, a ridiculous grind that reminds me of Bo Diddley in it’s refusal to take itself seriously even while being striking musically. As always, the joke revolves around sex, and I wish the guy would go someplace besides strip clubs for his inspiration, but this is great all the same.

Blake Shelton—”God Gave Me You”
#65
This is Shelton at his worst, a shovelful of sentimental horseshit that may or may not have been released to capitalize on his recent marriage to Miranda Lambert. Lambert, meanwhile, has two new singles out, one with Pistol Annies and the other solo. The first is about women who prey on rich, gullible men; the second dumping the excess baggage of a failed relationship. If I were Shelton, I’d consider myself on notice. All the lovey-dovey glop in the world won’t make any difference if he screws up.

Cobra Starship featuring Sabi—”You Make Me Feel…”
#76
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/28/11

Colbie Caillat—”What If”
#77
Caillat is starting to show off. Her songs are getting longer and more complicated, while the sentiments remain as simple, if not simpler, as before. She’s also trying to stretch herself musically, which only takes her, unsurprisingly, deeper into Fleetwood Mac territory. This even ends with a Lindsey Buckingham-style guitar solo. Wake me up when she makes her Tusk.

Blink-182—”Up All Night”
#85
Not as horrible as you might expect, but nothing special, either, and you can still hear the elements that would make this band insufferable if they were emphasized. Maybe age has taught them something, though they seem to deny it (aging, that is; they’ve always thought they were geniuses).

Keith Urban—”Long Hot Summer”
#89
Urban is capable of making decent music, but this isn’t it. The song jumps around all over the place, its only reason for existing to show off as many sides of Urban’s talent as possible. Not that there are all that many.

Alexandra Stan—”Mr. Saxobeat”
#92
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 7/2/11

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Hot 100 Roundup—6/11/11

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

Scotty McCreery—”I Love You This Big”
#11
Lauren Alaina—”Like My Mother Does”
#20
At first listen it seems as if the latest American Idol survivors have been granted better material than previous winners. But even though these songs are more specific in detail and less generic in overall tone, they’re still terrible, with lyrics that make you gasp in awe at their utter inanity. McCreery and Alaina make the best of it and deliver what they think is expected of them, but McCreery’s voice lacks seasoning—he needs experience: alcohol, sex, even more religion—while Alaina’s attempts to bend her song to her will result in a lot of growling and screaming and only make things worse. They’ll both do better. Whether either of them has the talent or brains to do much better is still an open question.

Glee Cast
“Light Up the World”, #33
“Pretending”, #40
“For Good”, #58
“I Love New York/New York, New York”, #81
“As Long As You’re There”, #93

Lady GaGa
“You and I”, #36
“Marry the Night”, #79
The pleasure I take in Born This Way is largely a matter of sonics and structure. That’s not a putdown. When you create something that for the most part is collage and pastiche, both musically and lyrically, sonics and structure are what make the difference between bland imitation and creating something new, and GaGa gets them right every single time. And then she boosts them. The drums and guitar on “You and I” may owe their inspiration to Queen, but they outstrip and outboom anything that band ever did, and the fact that they’re tied to a song that borrows from highway rock and roll and even country and western puts it in a league of its own. “Marry The Night”, meanwhile, is more Springsteen-inspired disco, with a coda beamed in from a mid-90s rave. I still have my doubts about her lyrics, which are often blander than they need to be, and I don’t think she’s making anything truly new out of her sources, but her merger of hard rock with disco diva anthems (which is what that ridiculous cover photo is all about, in case you were wondering) is wondrous, even if it ultimately doesn’t lead anywhere. Don’t think of it as something new, but as a well-earned celebration of a greatness we may have missed at the time.

Beyonce—”1+1″
#57
I have my doubts about Beyonce’s soul moves, especially her high notes and the dynamics that accompany them, but thematically this is a breakthrough, the first Beyonce song about a relationship I’ve heard in which she isn’t either asserting her iron-willed dominance or making like a supplicant to her godlike man. That see-sawing from one extreme to another was getting tiresome, and this is a welcome relief. I bet it’s a relief to Jay-Z, too.

Lil Wayne—”How To Love”
#69
I don’t think it’s the softness of sound that has caused so many people to write this song off. Sentimentality is as much a part of rap as any other kind of music, and if anyone has earned the right to a little mellow down time it’s Lil Wayne. What probably bothers hardcore rap fans more is the sense of empathy the song is based on. It isn’t really a love song, and it certainly isn’t a sex song. Instead, it’s a real attempt to understand where this woman is coming from and what she’s feeling, something more along the lines of Prince’s “I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man” (even though the situation appears to be completely different) than your standard lover man rap. In other words, thematically it’s as far from the mainstream of rap as Wayne’s phrasing and twisting trains of thought have always been. Like the pre-prison “I’m Single”, it’s a record by someone who’s trying to sort out the world in all it’s aspects, not just as it relates to his place, position, and pleasure. Musically, Wayne still isn’t sure what to make of these ideas, so he falls too readily into cliche, but if he should ever figure it out, or find a collaborator who has, then watch out: he may well remake rap yet again.

Reeve Carney featuring Bono & The Edge—”Rise Above 1″
#74
Not sure exactly what I expected a Broadway soundtrack written by Bono and The Edge to sound like, but I wasn’t expecting standard-issue U2, that’s for sure. Way to stretch your stylistic limits, guys. As for Reeve Carney, his Bono imitation is so exact I can only assume he thinks of Spiderman as a warm-up for that more lucrative U2 biopic that’s bound to appear sooner or later. Either that or he has a great future in tribute bands.

Mac Miller—”Donald Trump”
#80
The white version of Wiz Khalifa, or Waka Flocka Flame, or maybe even Big Sean. How did we stand the wait?

Kenny Chesney featuring Grace Potter—”You and Tequila”
#92
Strong, steady, and never overdone, this is as good as Chesney is ever going to get. With Grace Potter playing Emmylou Harris, he almost sounds human. There’s still something that doesn’t come across, though, and the stiff perfectionism of this record keeps it from classic territory. Damn close, though.

Rihanna—”Man Down”
#94
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 6/4/11

Lupe Fiasco featuring Trey Songz—”Out Of My Head”
#98
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/21/11

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Hot 100 Roundup—1/23/11

Monday, January 24th, 2011

Britney Spears—”Hold It Against Me”
#1
I agree with those who say the middle-eight is the best music Spears has made since Blackout, but that’s not saying much, and it’s the merest echo of tracks like “Piece of Me”. The problem isn’t just that Spears is repeating herself, but lack of context. “Piece of Me” was about something that only Spears could understand, and her anger and desire to make others see what she had been going through was palpable. Now that the crisis is over and other pop stars are taking the public heat, she has nothing to do but make her presence known and do her best to assert her sense of continued importance. Except now, just as at the beginning of her career, she doesn’t really have anything to say and does nothing but repeat the usual romantic and sexual tropes. The resulting music is as blank as her message.

Avril Lavigne—”What the Hell”
#13
This one is growing on me, I admit. The middle eight is great, and though it has more than it’s share of dumb bits, it holds together as a decent piece of modernized girl group silliness. Not as good as “Girlfriend”, mind you, but not bad. I just wish Lavigne wasn’t so intent on making herself sound like she’s still a teenager. There’s something unsettling in hearing a record about the desire for casual sex that sounds like the most virginal Disney pop.

Kanye West & Jay-Z—”H*A*M”
#23
Is this intended as a parody of the cult of personality or the start of one? When two superegos meet, is a ghastly music echoing the dreaded Carmina Burana the only thing that can reflect their monstrous self-regard? Are the mediocre opera singers supposed to be Sirens luring our heroes to their doom, or just the white supermodels who give West such good head? Is there a single genuine idea behind this overblown piece of shit? And if there is, would anybody give a fuck if they figured out what it was?

Cage The Elephant—”Shake Me Down”
#78
I liked this band’s last single, “Ain’t No Rest For the Wicked”, which was self-deprecating and philosophical without being heavy. This is all heavy, every last alt-rock-pastiche minute of it, especially the parts that sound like Oasis. What a jumbled mess.

Garrett Hedlund & Leighton Meester—”Give In To Me”
#79
This is a good song, but it’s another cut from Country Strong, and it suffers from all the negatives that most movie soundtrack songs share: the arrangements are too studied, and the singers, though technically fine, sound too much like actors. I’d love to hear a couple of real country singers take a whack at this, though.

Mann featuring 50 Cent—”Buzzin’”
#95
The featured sample, Nu Shooz’s “I Can’t Wait”, of all things, makes me think that someone should start a betting pool on which white one-hit-wonder producer J.R. Rotem will appropriate next. Quarterflash? Modern English? Spanky and Our Gang? Other than that, the only notable thing about this record is that the old school bass line has prompted Mann to echo old school vocal rhythms, as well. Just wish he went all the way with it. Then this might be a welcome breath of retro air, rather than a curiosity.

The JaneDear Girls—”Wildflower”
#98
The cutesy double pun of their name will give you an idea of how hard they’re trying (too hard), and why it’s probably best to avoid them. Not terrible, but ordinary.

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Hot 100 Roundup—10/31/10

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Mean”
#11
The idea that this record is intended as an assault on music critics in general, or even specific ones who I won’t mention by name, strikes me as ridiculous. So ridiculous, in fact, that I wonder if those suggesting it have actually listened to the song. The real target, as made obvious in both the lyrics and, most importantly, the traditional bluegrass sound, is the country audience itself, and especially those of a certain bent (though Swift never sinks so low as to actually call them rednecks) who fill the comment sections of country web sites with misspelled and grammatically incorrect attacks on Swift’s technical abilities. In other words, she’s taking on what is often spoken of as the heart of the country audience, the rural, “true” Americans who make sure no country singer ever dares step out of line, and telling them to shut the hell up. Teenage rebellion being essentially unheard of in the country charts, most critics seem not to recognize it when they hear it, especially when it’s hidden behind a lovely tune and cheery sarcasm. Swift is not only better than most everybody else, she may be better than anyone dared hope. And she’s still growing.

Katy Perry—”Firework”
#57
I cut Perry a lot of slack, and she’s capable of doing wonderful things, but only when she’s not being serious about it, or taking herself as some sort of image for youth. This is a stylistic mess, bland and irritating at the same time, with vocals that sound like she’s attempting a Steve Perry imitation. It’s as if Journey had tried to write a rave anthem.

Hannah Montana featuring Iyaz—”Gonna Get This”
#66
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

Willow—”Whip My Hair”
#78
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/17/10

Kanye West featuring Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Bon Iver & Nicki Minaj—”Monster”
#79
Kanye may think of himself as a monster, but he isn’t capable of sounding like one, no matter how hard he tries. Ditto Rick Ross, who sounds lost. The Bon Iver coda is an interesting surprise, suggesting deeper ideas that are never quite fleshed out. Nicki Minaj’s vocal contortions are fascinating, but they get old fast, and she doesn’t say much. All of which leaves Jay-Z in control of the record, especially when he brings it to a full halt announcing that he never gets enough love (this is after bragging about killing anyone who gets in his way). It’s a bit too much of a set piece to be believable or revealing, but it’s a hilarious shock all the same.

Kings Of Leon—”The End”
#82
This is the first record I’ve heard from these guys that makes a case for their reputation, or at least their record sales. Opening up their sound reveals an emotional center and does a better job of suggesting they possess real feelings than all their bombastic declarations. Mind you, it may all be by rote, but at least they’ve found a more skillful way of faking it.

Rihanna featuring Drake—”What’s My Name?”
#83
Drake, with his stupid, phoned-in ancient sex jokes, is as irritating as ever, but once he’s finished, this dancehall-inflected mid-tempo jam is the return to Rihanna’s old dance-pop style that she’s been advertising. Only now it’s informed by a sharper and darker sensibility, and a deeper emotional resonance. The mechanical, producer’s toy quality of her vocals has disappeared, and if she doesn’t have much to say, at least she sounds like a complete human being.

T-Pain featuring Rick Ross—”Rap Song”
#89
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

My Darkest Days featuring Ludacris—”Porn Star Dancing”
#90
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/17/10

Lloyd—”Lay It Down”
#91
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

The Black Keys—”Tighten Up”
#93
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

Natasha Bedingfield—”Strip Me”
#95
The martial drum sound tips you off to the presence of Ryan Tedder, trying his best to turn this into another “Halo”, but the rest of the record, for better or worse, is all Bedingfield. Once upon a time she tried to set Shelley and Keats to a hip-hop beat; now it seems her only literary inspiration is collections of daily affirmations. At the same time she sounds royally pissed off, most likely at her record company, if not at the world in general. Despite the somewhat daring chorus, she isn’t doing anything here she hasn’t done before. She remains an odd, puzzling disappointment.

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New this week—8/22/10

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

Trey Songz featuring Nicki Minaj—”Bottoms Up”
#22
I was really hoping this would be about ass, maybe with a Funkadelic sample, but it turns out it’s just another dumb song about drinking. Ugly, too, as it seems to present Songz as a wily man about town getting Nicki drunk so he can have his way with her. The only thing that saves it from that fate is the fact that Minaj plays about as unconvincing a drunk as I’ve ever heard. Which doesn’t keep her from being the best thing on the record, for what that’s worth.

Katy Perry—”Circle the Drain”
#58
She sounds like she means it, and in this case her vocal and musical affectations help provide enough distance to keep the record from becoming too overwrought. But it is overwrought, and it isn’t much of a song, and Tricky Stewart’s production, which tries to use hip-hop instrumentation to create a rock and roll effect, doesn’t work. Can’t help but wonder, though, if this is the same relationship she wrote about for Kelly Clarkson’s “I Do Not Hook Up”. Sounds like it went downhill fast.

Zac Brown Band featuring Alan Jackson—”As She’s Walking Away”
#77
When the song starts, Brown phrases like James Taylor, which is what he normally does. Once Alan Jackson steps in, though, suddenly Brown sounds like him. Whatever the reason for this change—homage, lack of his own ideas, blatant pandering—it’s the only interesting thing about this record.

Antoine Dodson & The Gregory Brothers featuring Kelly Dodson—”Bed Intruder Song”
#89
The story behind this record overwhelms the music, which is something of a shame. It isn’t great, but it is different from anything else you’ll hear on the chart, the eccentric (in every way) vocal line guaranteeing a certain fascination even when the record becomes repetitive. Charges of exploitation are understandable, but in this case seem misplaced. Not just because Dodson is getting an even split of the royalties, but because the Gregory Brothers have been so respectful. The record is funny in many ways, but not because the Gregory’s are treating Dodson and his family as a joke. A novelty to be sure, but hardly an exploitation. And if it gets Dodson’s family out of the projects, I’m all for it.

Far*East Movement featuring Cataracs and Dev—”Like a G6″
#92
Solid L.A. minimalist rap, somewhat reminiscent of (or at least noticeably influenced by) jerkin’, good beats, cliche lyrics.
What fascinates me, though, are the racial markers these Asian-Americans lay down. No self-respecting African-American rapper would be caught dead in a Pontiac, and these guys make a point of name-checking Cristal. Did they not get Jay-Z’s memo? Maybe they assumed it didn’t apply to them. Solidarity guys, we need solidarity.

Plain White T’s—”Rhythm of Love”
#96
There must be something wrong with me. I’ve hated everything else the T’s have done (including how they spell their name; it’s Ts, you guys), but I find this charming, even if intentionally lightweight. The secret, I think, is in the way they constantly change up the arrangement—lyrically the song doesn’t go anywhere, but it’s never boring, and when they bring in the background vocals, which remind me of Spanky and Our Gang, I find it irresistible. If they were as clever with words and melodies as they are with arrangements, they might really be something. Based on their past, though, I’m willing to bet this is the best they’ve got in them.

The Ready Set—”Love Like Woe”
#97
J.R. Rotem’s kiddie-pop productions usually have something to recommend them, but not this time. The music is bouncy and bland, the singer anonymous, and the play on words of the title doesn’t work because the music, which doesn’t sound woeful for even a second, never lets you in on the trick—until I looked more closely at the lyrics I assumed that someone involved was mixing up their homonyms. I’m still not sure that they weren’t. Then again, maybe this is intended as a foray into kiddie-pop emo. Or would that be redundant?

Mumford & Sons—”Little Lion Man”
#98
The idea of British folkies making the US pop charts is odd enough that it almost overshadows the song itself, which is pleasant but fairly standard English folk. Kind of reminds me of the Clancy Brothers, which is probably about as far back as most people’s memories of English folk go, even in England (and yes, I know the Clancy’s were Irish—same difference). You can tell it’s modern, though, which is probably why it’s been so successful. First, it’s bouncier and catchier than most real English folk music. Two, they say “fuck”. Three, the lyrics are so personal and obscure that only someone with intimate knowledge of the writer’s life would ever know what the song is actually about. So, folkies yes, but folk music? Uh-uh.

Usher featuring Jay Z—”Hot Tottie”
#100
Despite the presence, yet again, of a guest who outshines his host, this is the first Usher I’ve heard in the last two years that didn’t sound like he was trying to play catch up with pop culture. That may have more to do with Polow Da Don’s production than anything else, but Usher adds his own touches, as does Esther Dean. Jay-Z blows everybody away, of course, but that doesn’t matter, this is still Usher’s best record since mid-decade.

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