Posts Tagged ‘Jay-Z’

New this week—8/22/10

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

Trey Songz featuring Nicki Minaj—”Bottoms Up”
#22

I was really hoping this would be about ass, maybe with a Funkadelic sample, but it turns out it’s just another dumb song about drinking. Ugly, too, as it seems to present Songz as a wily man about town getting Nicki drunk so he can have his way with her. The only thing that saves it from that fate is the fact that Minaj plays about as unconvincing a drunk as I’ve ever heard. Which doesn’t keep her from being the best thing on the record, for what that’s worth.

Katy Perry—”Circle the Drain”
#58

She sounds like she means it, and in this case her vocal and musical affectations help provide enough distance to keep the record from becoming too overwrought. But it is overwrought, and it isn’t much of a song, and Tricky Stewart’s production, which tries to use hip-hop instrumentation to create a rock and roll effect, doesn’t work. Can’t help but wonder, though, if this is the same relationship she wrote about for Kelly Clarkson’s “I Do Not Hook Up”. Sounds like it went downhill fast.

Zac Brown Band featuring Alan Jackson—”As She’s Walking Away”
#77

When the song starts, Brown phrases like James Taylor, which is what he normally does. Once Alan Jackson steps in, though, suddenly Brown sounds like him. Whatever the reason for this change—homage, lack of his own ideas, blatant pandering—it’s the only interesting thing about this record.

Antoine Dodson & The Gregory Brothers featuring Kelly Dodson—”Bed Intruder Song”
#89

The story behind this record overwhelms the music, which is something of a shame. It isn’t great, but it is different from anything else you’ll hear on the chart, the eccentric (in every way) vocal line guaranteeing a certain fascination even when the record becomes repetitive. Charges of exploitation are understandable, but in this case seem misplaced. Not just because Dodson is getting an even split of the royalties, but because the Gregory Brothers have been so respectful. The record is funny in many ways, but not because the Gregory’s are treating Dodson and his family as a joke. A novelty to be sure, but hardly an exploitation. And if it gets Dodson’s family out of the projects, I’m all for it.

Far*East Movement featuring Cataracs and Dev—”Like a G6″
#92

Solid L.A. minimalist rap, somewhat reminiscent of (or at least noticeably influenced by) jerkin’, good beats, cliche lyrics.
What fascinates me, though, are the racial markers these Asian-Americans lay down. No self-respecting African-American rapper would be caught dead in a Pontiac, and these guys make a point of name-checking Cristal. Did they not get Jay-Z’s memo? Maybe they assumed it didn’t apply to them. Solidarity guys, we need solidarity.

Plain White T’s—”Rhythm of Love”
#96

There must be something wrong with me. I’ve hated everything else the T’s have done (including how they spell their name; it’s Ts, you guys), but I find this charming, even if intentionally lightweight. The secret, I think, is in the way they constantly change up the arrangement—lyrically the song doesn’t go anywhere, but it’s never boring, and when they bring in the background vocals, which remind me of Spanky and Our Gang, I find it irresistible. If they were as clever with words and melodies as they are with arrangements, they might really be something. Based on their past, though, I’m willing to bet this is the best they’ve got in them.

The Ready Set—”Love Like Woe”
#97

J.R. Rotem’s kiddie-pop productions usually have something to recommend them, but not this time. The music is bouncy and bland, the singer anonymous, and the play on words of the title doesn’t work because the music, which doesn’t sound woeful for even a second, never lets you in on the trick—until I looked more closely at the lyrics I assumed that someone involved was mixing up their homonyms. I’m still not sure that they weren’t. Then again, maybe this is intended as a foray into kiddie-pop emo. Or would that be redundant?

Mumford & Sons—”Little Lion Man”
#98

The idea of British folkies making the US pop charts is odd enough that it almost overshadows the song itself, which is pleasant but fairly standard English folk. Kind of reminds me of the Clancy Brothers, which is probably about as far back as most people’s memories of English folk go, even in England (and yes, I know the Clancy’s were Irish—same difference). You can tell it’s modern, though, which is probably why it’s been so successful. First, it’s bouncier and catchier than most real English folk music. Two, they say “fuck”. Three, the lyrics are so personal and obscure that only someone with intimate knowledge of the writer’s life would ever know what the song is actually about. So, folkies yes, but folk music? Uh-uh.

Usher featuring Jay Z—”Hot Tottie”
#100

Despite the presence, yet again, of a guest who outshines his host, this is the first Usher I’ve heard in the last two years that didn’t sound like he was trying to play catch up with pop culture. That may have more to do with Polow Da Don’s production than anything else, but Usher adds his own touches, as does Esther Dean. Jay-Z blows everybody away, of course, but that doesn’t matter, this is still Usher’s best record since mid-decade.

The year so far, ctd.

Monday, July 26th, 2010

When I was doing my half-year summation last week, an idea struck me that I didn’t have time to include. As I said there, the apparent greatness of the year overall hasn’t made much of an impression on the pop charts, at least not in terms of individual records. As the old saying goes, though, a rising tide lifts all boats, and though I think it’s fair to say that there have been few great records on the Hot 100 this year, the quality, overall, has risen.

Quality, however, may not be the right word; freshness may be closer to the truth. Since the crash and burn of the summer of 2008, there has been a slow but steady revitalization. Pop music sounds different than it did three years ago. On the top forty charts, the touchstones are obvious. With Lady GaGa and the revamped Blacked Eyed Peas leading the way, followed by 3Oh!3, Ke$ha, and quickly adapting older artists like Rihanna and Jay-Z, electronica in one form or another has become a staple on the pop charts, to the point where even Disney stars like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez are jumping on the bandwagon (to be fair to Disney, Aly & AJ were actually ahead of the curve on this). At the same time, the pop embrace of electronica has forced those in the electronic music scene itself to up their game and look for new ideas to separate them from the mainstream (a process aided by the cross-pollination provided by DJ podcasts like those found at Resident Advisor, XLR8R, and Fact Magazine—check out Michaelangelo’s piece in the Guardian for an overview). At the same time, thanks to its exposure on the charts, electronica is garnering an ever-expanding fan base of more adventurous pop listeners.

Hip-hop and rap have also been reflecting the inspiration provided by electronic music. Unlike pop, however, the major changes are coming from smaller scenes outside the mainstream. While stars like T.I. and DJ Khaled fill their records with ever more baroque permutations of fuzzy synths, the whole of hip-hop is being remade from underneath by teenagers with lap tops. From Soulja Boy Tell’em in Mississippi to the jerkin’ movement in LA to Cali Swag District’s “Teach Me How To Dougie”, which puts an LA spin on a dance movement originating in Dallas, the movement in one form or another has gone nationwide. All that laptop rap needs now is an independently-minded genius to blow it wide open (Soulja Boy and New Boyz, unfortunately, have already been absorbed by the old guard).

Beyond the influence of electronica (and yes, I know that phrase is out of date, but find me another that covers the whole spectrum), other genres are being revamped as well, especially country. Up until a couple of years ago, country was ruled by good ol’ boys like Toby Keith and Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney, who sang, for the most part, about only one thing: how good it is to be a good ol’ boy. In the last two years, though, women have come back strong: Gretchen Wilson started the ball rolling, with Miranda Lambert following closely behind, then Carrie Underwood (whose “Before He Cheats” provided the ultimate kiss off to the good ol’ boy genre), with Kellie Pickler, Sugarland, Lady Antebellum, Rory and Joey, and a host of others quickly occupying the landscape. In a category all their own are Taylor Swift and Brad Paisley, who have brought an intelligent, charming, good-humored sensibility back to country that it’s been missing for over a decade. The good ol’ boys are still around, but their voices are muted. Many of them are trying to meet the women half way, and the result has been a batch of pleasant, if not always brilliant records that feel far more down to earth and human.

Interesting changes have taken place on the indie and alternative scenes as well, but for the moment none of those have been turning up in the pop charts. Not that that isn’t a possibility. As far as I can tell, the only major difference in sound between Ke$ha and Sleigh Bells is the mix: Ke$ha mixes her distorted electronic explosions down and her voice up; Sleigh Bells does the opposite. They may be on different paths, but they’re heading in the same direction. Everybody is. And somewhere down the road is a convergence point that’s going to blow everybody away.

The year so far

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

According to almost everyone, 2010 has been a great year in just about every genre: alternative, country, hip-hop, techno—great records have been popping up everywhere, from both new and old artists, with a full schedule of promising releases to come.

But if that’s true, and for the most part I think it is, not much of that greatness has been showing up on the pop chart, or if it has it’s come and gone so fast it’s barely been noticed. At least four of my favorite records this year, “Super High”, “Love King”, “I’m Single”, and “Reverse Cowgirl”, disappeared from the chart after a week or two. Others, such as Jay-Z’s “On To the Next One” struggled to climb into the top 30, and then dropped quickly once they reached their peak.

Mind you, if what you’re looking for is party music, you can’t do much better than most of the records that made the top ten this year. Straight ahead rhythms uncomplicated by any sense of hesitancy or messy emotion have dominated the market, with only top drawer sellers like Rihanna and Eminem daring anything that requires much thought on the part of the audience. I like a lot of the records that have made the top ten so far this year, but I can think of only one or two that will have any long lasting effect. Party music is designed to be ephemeral, so that’s hardly a criticism, just a recognition of the way things are, and are likely to remain for some time.

Most of what I consider the best of the year so far comes from a little further down the charts, though of course that’s no guarantee of durability. Even I was surprised, though, that my number one would turn out to be the darkest record to make the charts this year, a record so full of bad feeling that it dropped off the charts after a single week and has been ignored by just about everybody. Who’d have thought I could feel alone in praising a Lil Wayne single?

As for the worst, it should be pointed out that this list does not include any of the Glee Cast singles, which are not only terrible but should never have been released in the first place. If I had included them, they would have occupied all ten places and then some. At one point, I considered making “Ice Ice Baby” both the worst and best single of the year, but that was just cynicism. I feel better now, honest.

The Best So Far (in approximate order of preference)

1. Lil Wayne – I’m Single
2. The-Dream – Love King
3. Cali Swag District – Teach Me How To Dougie
4. The Black Eyed Peas – Rock That Body
5. Rick Ross featuring Ne-Yo – Super High
6. Selena Gomez and the Scene – Naturally
7. Jay-Z featuring Swizz Beats – On To the Next One
8. Miranda Lambert – The House That Built Me
9. Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys – Empire State of Mind
10. T-Pain – Reverse Cowgirl

The Worst (in alphabetical order)

1. Alpha Rev – New Morning
2. Artists for Haiti – We Are the World 25
3. Justin Bieber featuring Jaden Smith – Never Say Never
4. Dirty Heads featuring Rome of Subllime with Rome – Lay Me Down
5. David Guetta featuring Fergie and LMFAO – Gettin’ Over You
6. Avril Lavigne – Alice
7. Muse – Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever)
8. Christina Perri – Jar of Hearts
9. Mike Posner – Cooler Than Me
10. Shiny Toy Guns – Major Tom

New this week—1/31/10

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Today Was a Fairytale”
#2

As songwriting, this is rehash; Swift has gone over the same ground many times before, though this pares the idea down to its basics in an appealing way. The real appeal, though, lies in the fact that, even more than the bonus tracks on the deluxe edition of Fearless, this clears away the production clutter that was that album’s greatest weakness. With every record Swift seems to have a clearer idea of what she’s aiming at and how best to attain it. She may be not just the biggest pop star of the moment, but also the smartest.

Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris—”Baby”
#5

Catchy and sweet, and even Ludacris keeps it clean (though it’s impossible for him to sound as innocent as Bieber does). Bieber is still doing a young Michael Jackson imitation and little else, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially with hooks as catchy as this.

Jay-Z, Bono, The Edge & Rihanna—”Stranded (Haiti Mon Amour)”
#16

Despite Jay-Z’s confused attempt at making sense of tragedy and Bono’s meaningless plea for volunteers (who would only confuse things by this point) this is better than anyone had a right to expect. Jay keeps the song at groundlevel by emphasizing specific realities and personal loss, while Bono and Rihanna soar on the chorus. Jay-Z’s and Bono’s egos are incapable of not pushing their own agendas, but the overall effect manages to cancel both out. One of the few benefit records I’ve heard that may be worth listening to after the fact.

Justin Timberlake & Matt Morris featuring Charlie Sexton—”Hallelujah”
#48

This performance has a lot to recommend it, but I still find it irritating that “Hallelujah” has become the go-to song for anyone who wants to sound seriously spiritual and sincere, the same role previously played by “Amazing Grace” and “People Get Ready”. The problem is that “Hallelujah” isn’t really about spirituality so much as it uses spiritual imagery and Biblical references—David and Bathsheba, Samson and Delilah—as metaphors for the irresistible, baffling powers of love and lust. Cohen was singing about love and lust and music as acts of God, but not the kind of acts, like Haiti, to which that phrase normally refers. He wasn’t channeling the Book of Job, he was channeling The Song of Solomon. Timberlake and Morris sing beautifully—I especially like the way their voices seem to break and strain as they reach for the final notes, as if singing “hallelujah” in these circumstance was both the hardest and most important thing one could do—but the song doesn’t mean what they try to make it mean, and in this context it’s confusing more than anything else.

Lady Antebellum—”Our Kind of Love”
#80

Better than the last two singles-of-the-week, not as good as the first two, which adds up to mediocre.

Rihanna—”Redemption Song”
#81

Rihanna has a voice, and she wisely keeps this rough and tries her best to focus on the emotion, but she isn’t much of a singer, and the song is beyond her. It would be unfair to compare her to Marley, and this is a hard song to sing under any circumstances, much less under the time constraints she was working with here, but this sounds unsure and amateurish. And the background, except for the guitar part lifted largely from Marley’s original, is pure mush.

New this week—1/24/10

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Sade—”Soldier of Love”
#58

Sonically this is stunning, especially the drums, which switch seamlessly in sound from a military tattoo to distant artillery to nearby gunfire—it’s enough to make you believe that they spent the entire eight years between albums getting the sound right. The lyrics are banal, though, no matter how gorgeously sung or perfectly set they may be. Their/her attention to musical detail is so complete that they seem to have completely missed the oxymoron in the title, or considered the possibility that they’ve never found real love because they think of it as a battlefield to begin with. That’s the trouble with perfectionism: once it latches onto an idea, it can’t abide contradictions.

Lady Antebellum–”Ready To Love Again”
#72

The ever-more-questionable single-a-week campaign continues, and sure enough, here comes the dreck. This sounds like the closing credits music for some Lifetime Channel original movie. Should you really issue four singles to preview your new LP if it’s only two singles deep?

Jay-Z + Swizz Beats—”On To the Next One”
#78

Jay-Z sounds fine (though a bit defensive—when has anyone actually accused him of being a virgin?), but the real star is Swizz Beats, who seems to have decided to take up where Timbaland left off (or gave up). His productions have always been fun, but this one has just enough added seriousness and menace to take it up another level.

Snow Patrol featuring Martha Wainwright—”Set the Fire To the Third Bar”
#86

As far as I’m concerned, any guy who writes a line like “the laughter penetrates my silence” doesn’t deserve to be reunited with his girlfriend, no matter how many lonely bars he mutely wanders through. He certainly doesn’t deserve Martha Wainwright, who nonetheless almost succeeds in saving the song, if only because her sweet, simple harmonies distract you from the relentless downtrodden wallow of the lead vocal.

Miley Cyrus—”When I Look At You”
#88

Is this what we have to look forward to when Cyrus gives up pop and “matures”? Me, I prefer the Disney stuff, even the cutesy nonsense, to preening power ballads like this. And I’ll bet you whatever you like that the last Hannah Montana soundtrack album will be better than anything Cyrus releases after she leaves Disney.

Keith Urban—”‘Til Summer Comes Around”
#92

The music is so portentous and the images so dismal—wintry silence, deserted carnival rides, etc.—that this could almost be taken for one of Bruce Springsteen’s post-industrial wasteland songs. Except Springsteen’s songs are about the death of community, the decline of the nation’s principals and ideals, spiritual devastation at both a personal and societal level. Urban’s song is about missing a girl he made out with on a Ferris Wheel once. The imagery is so overwhelming compared to the subject that after awhile it becomes the subject, which—and I would hope that it’s needless to point this out—isn’t the way songs are supposed to work.

Zac Brown Band—”Highway 20 Ride”
#98

A standard country divorce weeper, with extra dollops of self-pity. Brown spends most of the song feeling so sorry for himself he barely addresses the son he’s supposedly talking to. Maybe he should stick to Jimmy Buffett rip-offs and leave the real emotions to people who have some.

Pearl Jam—”Just Breathe”
#99

Let’s face it, if it weren’t for the first Doors LP, Ten would probably be the worst “classic” album ever to grace the rock canon. Now, twenty years later, they’re still making the same mistakes: taking sentiment for real emotion, sincerity for real ideas, and vocal and instrumental texture for interesting music. They mean well, and they’ve gotten better, but too often that’s the only good thing that can be said about them. In this case, I wouldn’t even say they’ve gotten better.

New this week

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

Glee Cast—”Take A Bow”
#46

This is so bland I feel like I should apologize to Rihanna for saying her vocals lack personality. I can excuse actors for not being singers, but shouldn’t they at least know how to emote on the spoken bits? I’ve heard Glee is a pretty good show, but if it’s going to put records like this on the chart every week I may need to file a complaint with the FCC.

Jay-Z + Alicia Keys—”Empire State of Mind”
#50

The chorus is as hoakey as most “I Love My Hometown” songs, but it’s catchy, too, and it sticks in your head (somehow Jay-Z has convinced Keys to phrase just like he probably would if he could sing, which is both weird and fascinating somehow). The record as a whole, however, like everything else I’ve heard from The Blueprint III, is seriously off-kilter. This isn’t a song about how great New York is, it’s a song about how great Jay-Z was to rise from its mean streets to become a star. By name-checking Sinatra and paraphrasing Billy Joel for the title, he makes it obvious that he intends to supersede them as the King of New York; he then proceeds to paint a picture of the city that’s so dark, especially in the final verse, and takes such obvious enjoyment in putting down the suckers who aren’t as successful as he is, that you wonder why anybody would want to live there at all. Especially if they had to share the streets with this self-satisfied jerk.

Jay-Z + Mr. Hudson—”Young Forever”
#75

Immortality through fame isn’t a new idea, but Jay-Z raps like it is, and the first verse, where he parodies just about every rap video ever made, is great. The rest is just bragging, with unnecessarily dark overtones (he sounds like it’s only just occurred to him that he’s going to die someday—and who knows, maybe it did). As for Mr. Hudson, his voice is a garbled mixture of Sting and Chris Martin, and his phrasing is as cliched and obvious as that combination would suggest.

Three Days Grace—”Break”
#91

The lyrics say something about breaking through to a higher level, but the music breaks through nothing, not even the banality barrier, and I keep thinking that what they really mean is that everybody could use a nice vacation once in a while. If they promise to make theirs permanent I’d be happy to lend them some luggage.

Boys Like Girls featuring Taylor Swift—”Two Is Better Than One”
#92

A terrible song, and a darkly portentous one, since it suggests that Taylor Swift’s apparent weakness for guys in noisy pop-punk bands is badly affecting her judgment. Singing with Def Leppard on an awards show or dressing up like Kiss is harmless nostalgic fun, but aiding and abetting a band as awful as Boys Like Girls suggests a major lapse in judgment. She’ll regret this some day; if she doesn’t, we will.

Ester Dean featuring Chris Brown—”Drop It Low”
#94

I like the sound of this, which in it’s minimalism and dirty talk reminds me of some of the jerkin’ records coming out of L.A., and I like it even more near the end when the hooks pile up on each other in a mixture that isn’t minimalist at all. But Chris Brown’s presence is a conundrum. Was this recorded before he beat up Rihanna? Even if it was, why release it now? At this point, would any woman in her right mind climb into his Bugatti with him? Whatever the case, chances are this will go nowhere on radio, which is a shame. Couldn’t they get Drake or somebody for a remix?

New this week

Sunday, August 23rd, 2009

Miley Cyrus—”Party In the U.S.A.”
#2

Despite its bouncy, universalist tone, the lyrics of this song reveal it to be nothing more than the usual declaration of egotistical, posturing self-importance. This isn’t a party in the U.S.A., it’s a party in one small part of the U.S.A., namely whatever part of Hollywood Miley Cyrus is currently occupying. Her only gesture to the outside world is inviting everyone else to watch her have fun. It makes sense that she namechecks Jay-Z, since this song shares an attitude with any number of self-aggrandizing rap records, including Jay-Z’s latest. I know it’s too easy to criticize Cyrus as a spoiled celebrity princess, but in this case it’s true.

Disney’s Friends for Change—”Send It On”
#20

The latest emetic power ballad for charity. I advise you to save your money for the compilation album, Now That’s What I Call Philanthropy!

Jason DeRulo—”Watcha Say”
#54

I like the chorus, which serves the double duty of being catchy and telling DeRulo where to stuff his apology for infidelity. You can tell he doesn’t mean it by the way he sings his own name at the beginning of the track. Self-love like that is never satisfied with only one admirer.

Cobra Starship—”Hot Mess”
#64

Twice as many writers and producers as “Good Girls Go Bad”, half the hooks. Since “Good Girls Go Bad” has a lot of hooks, only managing half isn’t a total disaster, though it does expose their overkill for the overcompensation it really is.

Cascada—Evacuate the Dancefloor
#80

Lack of originality can be a blessing, especially in commercial terms. Already a number one across Europe, this is essentially a Lady GaGa track without all that arty baggage and sexual ambiguity attached. It’s overloaded with hooks, too, something GaGa is rarely accused of. Trouble is, it still sounds like GaGa, garish and overwrought. Which is fine if you feel like being pummeled to deaf on the dancefloor. Me, I’ve always preferred more subtle ways of losing my hearing.

Lady Antebellum—”Need You Now”
#85

It never occurred to me until someone at another blog brought it up, but aside from the Eagles, the biggest non-country influence on modern country music is Fleetwood Mac. The rhythm track here is a dead ringer (session guys are good at that sort of thing), but the singers are no match for Christine McVie, and neither are all four of the songwriters. McVie could make seeming truisms and banalities ring with passion and intensity—all these guys can do is make you think, “Oh, that’s nice. Where have I heard this before?”

Britney Spears—”Radar”
#90

This record is more interesting for it’s release history than for itself. Originally on Blackout, for some reason it was included on the bonus version of Circus, and now, for even more intangible reasons, it’s being promoted as a single. It isn’t very good, and it goes on too long, but obviously somebody thinks it can be a hit. And right now somebody else is scouring the song for clues to Britney’s current state of mind. Not me, though, I can’t even pay attention to it all the way through.

Chris Young—”Gettin’ You Home (The Black Dress Song)”
#91

It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a good old county wedded lust song; I was starting to think that all male country singers were bachelors chasing badonkadonk. This isn’t great—the second verse, where Young sings from his wife’s point of view, doesn’t quite work—but it’s sufficiently steamy to get the point across, and old-fashioned enough to sound fresh. It ain’t Charlie Rich, but it ain’t bad.

New this week

Sunday, August 9th, 2009

T.I. featuring Mary J. Blige—”Remember Me”
#29

The verse about his woman cheating on him while he’s in the joint sounds real enough, but it doesn’t matter, because T.I. loses me on the very first line, where he compares himself to Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcom X. Is it even necessary to point out to anyone but right wing gun nuts the difference between being arrested fighting for your civil rights and a federal weapons violation (for that matter, did Malcolm X do jail time for anything but being a pimp?)? Of course, the line goes perfectly with the over-the-top production and Blige’s prayerful chorus. Did I really believe that T.I. had changed? I may have to take it all back.

Toby Keith—”American Ride”
#54

Despite it’s jingoistic tone, this is really about tolerance and loving this crazy country of ours, liberal or conservative, black or white, Democrat or Republican, rich or poor, right or left. Too bad all his examples seem to come off The O’Reilly Factor.

David Guetta featuring Akon—”Sexy Bitch”
#56

I like the conceit of the hook line, “I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful”, but the music is like Kid Cudi’s “Day ‘n’ Night” badly welded onto Sean Kingston’s “Fire Burning”, and Akon’s vocals lack whatever distinctiveness they once had. He also sounds uncertain—that hook line may as well have his fingerprints on it, but it sounds like Guetta is singing it. After the relative failure of Akon’s loverman album, this half-hearted return to his player ways suggests confusion about how to recover from all that bad publicity a couple of years ago. It will be interesting to see how this pans out. It has all the marks of a hit, but I think Akon’s blown whatever goodwill he had going for him. And I don’t think anybody’s going to turn this into a wedding video.

Tim McGraw—”It’s A Business Doing Pleasure With You”
#73

No kidding. Except this is so plodding there isn’t even any pleasure involved. Co-written by Chad Kroeger of Nickelback, which figures.

Jay-Z, Rihanna, & Kanye West–”Run This Town”
#88

Jay-Z’s career is becoming confusing. On American Gangster he was on top of his game, cool and confident. Without Denzel Washington’s example, however, he seems a little more insecure. “D.O.A.” was just dumb, and this negates a not bad black pride rap by ending with West belittling a woman for having less fashion sense than he does. And why would anyone who hates autotune feature Rihanaa, who sounds like a machine even without the help of special effects? If these guys are the new Rat Pack, then this is the original Oceans 11: lazy, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied.

Michelle Branch—”Sooner Or Later”
#93

Second-rate Taylor Swift, just the thing to revive a rapidly dwindling career.

Uncle Kracker–”Smile”
#95

Kid Rock cohort turns into Daniel Powter knock-off. He’s still trailer trash, but now his trailer’s on the beach.

Martina McBride—”I Just Call You Mine”
#97

Before the country banality and the usual Nashville overarranging take over, McBride confirms what a sharp and intelligent singer she can be. By the end of the first chorus, though, she’s just another country diva singing what’s been handed to her. I don’t know if McBride deserves better or not (she co-produced this, so she takes a greater share of the blame than usual), but her voice sure does.

Parachute—”She Is Love”
#98

This sounds like the intro to what could be a really nice love song. Too bad nobody wrote the rest of it.

New this week

Monday, July 6th, 2009

Jay-Z–”D.O.A. (Death of Autotune)”
#24

This is terrible. Not so much for the music as for the insipidness of Jay-Z wasting his talents to attack something as meaningless and ephemeral as a software plugin. He’s isn’t going to convince anybody how tough he is punching bags of feathers.

Demi Lovato–”Here We Go Again”
#51

Lovato’s last couple of singles (“Don’t Forget” and “La La Land”, both written with the Jonas Brothers) had an idiosyncratic quality to them that, flawed as they were, lifted them above the usual Disney fare. This is the usual Disney fare: light, pleasant, totally forgettable.

Green Day–”21 Guns”
#55

Slow, ponderous, packed with musical and lyrical cliches, decorated with the wimpiest drum sound you’ve ever heard–when they reach their social consciousness phase, this is exactly what the Jonas Brothers will sound like.

Eric Church–”Love Your Love the Most”
#90

A country list song. Better than some, if only because Church, in order to avoid charges of blasphemy, leaves out Sunday meetings and Jesus.

Keyshia Cole featuring Monica–”Trust”
#93

Mary J Blige meets Mariah Carey, lightweight division. I wonder which Montovani record they lifted that horrible string arrangement from?

Shinedown–”Sound of Madness”
#95

This makes more sense than “Second Chance” (not that it would take much), but just like that record, it’s basically “Chicken Soup for the Headbangers Soul”. They say they wrote the “book of pain”, but it sounds more like a self-empowerment, daily affirmations calendar for tough guys.

Jack Ingram–”Barefoot and Crazy”
#98

A lot of this is cliche (what country song isn’t?), but it has a strong, steady groove that’s rare in country music (sounds like a real band, though I suppose they’re the usual session pros), and Ingram picks all the right cliches. And that line about kissing at the bottom of the swimming hole doesn’t sound like a cliche at all.

New This Week

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

Mitchel Musso—“Hey”
#70

More Disney pop (cast member of Hannah Montana, brother in Metro Station): less punk than the Jonas Brothers, less pop than Miley Cyrus, more mature sounding and less interesting than both.

Beyonce—“Ego”
#77

This is the most honest song Beyonce has produced about her relationship with Jay-Z (a hell of a lot more honest than “Halo”, that’s for sure). It’s also the funniest, which is why I believe it. The more Beyonce talks about her dick being as big as Jay-Z’s, the more respect I have for both of them.

Justin Moore—“Small Town USA”
#88

As a lover of Miranda Lambert’s “Famous In a Small Town”, I’m not prepared to completely write off country music’s rural fetishism, but this is as generic as it gets. The lyrics never get any deeper than the title, even if Moore does namecheck David Allen Coe to prove how “outlaw” he is. In the ‘70s I might have believed him, but now?

Cage The Elephant—“Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked”
#92

This is a surprise, if only because this kind of white boy blues, though plenty of people still make it, doesn’t show up much on the charts these days. It’s a relief to hear young punks with a beef with the world who don’t sound like either Green Day or Linkin Park. The laid back sound only makes their message come across with that much more force. The message is nothing special, but at least it’s there; it has a populist tinge to it that reminds me of Todd Snider, only without Snider’s sense of detail. The same goes for the music—like a lot of young bands, they’ve got a lot to learn, but they seem to be starting in the right place.

Fabolous featuring The-Dream—“Throw It In the Bag”
#94

As glad as I am that strip club rap is fading, I’m not sure mall shopping rap is that much of an improvement. A decade ago, “throw it in the bag” would have been a drug dealing reference, now it’s about helping your woman accessorize. Call it the Beyonce effect: a reaction to all those women demanding ever deeper levels of respect. To guys like Ne-Yo and The-Dream (you know, those hyphenated guys), this is an emotional and intellectual challenge, an opportunity to sharpen their game. To Fabolous, it’s just another obstacle to throw money at.

Ginuwine—“Last Chance”
#95

A generic love rap noticeable only for the fact that Ginuwine tries so hard to sell it. The intro and outro have nothing to do with the song itself, they’re just advertisements: “If this your favorite song, turn your radio on/Play it for your man or your lady all day long”. He sounds more passionate about this than anything else. It’s like watching a TV show where the commercials are more interesting than the actual program.

K’Jon—“On the Ocean”
#98

Already a smash on the Adult R&B chart, and no wonder—after a near perfect lover man intro, K’Jon settles into a Marvin Gaye-like groove you haven’t heard since, well, since Gaye himself. Very nice.

The Veronicas—“Take Me On the Floor”
#99

Unlike other “let’s get wasted and do it right here in the club” anthems, The Veronicas maintain a certain amount of self-control—and self-respect. Unfortunately, that extends to the music, which is hooky enough in an automatic, pre-packaged sort of way, but also stiff. However you might feel about the likes of Katy Perry or Lady GaGa, they’re doing something different, and they don’t hold anything back, which makes them both fascinating and terrifying. The Veronica’s are just catchy.