Posts Tagged ‘Justin Bieber’

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Hot 100 Roundup—11/19/11

Monday, November 21st, 2011

Mac Miller—”Party On Fifth Ave.”
#64
I like the music, but Miller is a competent rapper at best, and his verses are full of filler. Even musically, though, this is stiffer than a party song should be.

Glee Cast—”Last Friday Night”
#72

Wale featuring Meek Mill & Rick Ross—”Ambition”
#81
It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a rap song that was this serious, or went into any detail about the rappers pre-success life on the streets. The verses here are so heartfelt that even Ross sounds like he’s telling the truth, especially when he talks about his mom praying while she waits for the results. Still, Wale wins the honesty stakes when he admits he never worked the streets himself. That may be one of the bravest things I’ve heard a rapper say in a long time.

Justin Bieber
“All I Want for Christmas is You (SuperFestive!)” (with Mariah Carey), #86
“Drummer Boy” (featuring Busta Rhymes), #99
With Carey and Rhymes on these tracks you expect some craziness, but the insanity is all Bieber’s, and good for him. Forgetting for a moment that neither of these are very good, you have to applaud Beiber for trying. He could easily have cranked out an album of hoary seasonal chestnuts and let his tween fans eat it up. Instead, every track from his Christmas album that’s made the charts has been in a widely different style from the one before it. The Phil Spectorish arrangement on “All I Want for Christmas” is mixed too far below the vocals, and Bieber can’t really rap (or, rather, he doesn’t have a voice that’s suited for it), but I appreciate the effort.

Breathe Carolina—”Blackout”
#92
You can only dance so long in the face of recession and social fragmentation, and it’s beginning to look as if the party’s over. Even Taio Cruz has a hangover, and these guys, determined as they are, are on the brink of collapse. Their defiance is almost tragic: not only do they swear, in what may be the hook of the year, that they won’t blackout, but they’re only getting started and, most ominously, “This won’t stop until I say so.” If they don’t collapse of dehydration I figure they’re heading for an OD or alcohol poisoning, and they want to take you with them. One of the scariest, most depressing party records I’ve ever heard. I wonder if that’s intentional.

Miranda Lambert—”Over You”
#93
I’m still making up my mind about 4 the Record—the songwriting is weaker than on Lambert’s first three albums, though in many ways the music is stronger—but I have no doubt as to the two worst songs, both of which involve Lambert’s husband, Blake Shelton. This is the one they wrote together, and though I bet the basic idea and melody were his, I also bet the best line, “How dare you?” to a lover who has died, is Lambert’s. Whatever the case, this is slow and tedious, and though Lambert does her best to wring the simplistic sentimentality out of it, she doesn’t succeed. Whoever wrote the line “Mid-February/Shouldn’t be so scary” (sure hope it wasn’t Lambert) should be sent to remedial songwriters school immediately.

Kenny Chesney—”Reality”
#97
Funny, the only reality I want to escape is the one that allows Chesney to keep making bad rock records and calling them country. Did Sammy Hagar ghostwrite this for him while they were hanging at Cabo with Jimmy Buffett?

Skrillex—”First of the Year (Equinox)”
#100
OK, shoot me if you want, but I love this. Too soft in the soft parts, too loud in the loud ones, with unmusical screams and lots of grinding and distortion, this is dubstep as pop metal, and it’s just about perfect. In some ways, Skrillex plays it safe: he never steps off the beat, and he keeps something resembling a melody drifting through the entire track (though it does get kicked in the ass and jerked out of place a few times). For all the noise he never drifts far from the pop basics, which, as far as I’m concerned, is exactly how it should be.

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Hot 100 Roundup—11/12/11

Friday, November 18th, 2011

Coldplay featuring Rihanna—”Princess of China”
#20
The grander the statement, the vaguer and more ordinary the music becomes. Rihanna adds nothing, because there’s nothing to be added to. In the context of the album the lyrics might make sense—though I wouldn’t count on that—but on their own they skirt the ridiculous. The hooks and the overall grandeur of the sound just make things worse; it’s all show, no content.

Toby Keith—”Red Solo Cup”
#37
A funny record that both celebrates redneck drinking and skewers it at the same time. It comes dangerously close to a throwaway comedy sketch, but Keith makes sure it’s a real song, and his delivery, both comically and musically, is flawless. Which only increases my sense of frustration. To follow up a record as blinkered and patronizing as “Made In America” with one as friendly yet satiric as this? How many Toby Keiths are their anyway? And couldn’t the good one hang around a little longer?

Bow Wow featuring Lil Wayne—”Sweat”
#48
I like the music, but the raps, especially Bow Wow’s, are pure cliche. As is Wayne’s, except it’s a cliche built on the kind of raps he was doing six or seven years ago. It’s all Wayne, but it’s not a new Wayne. Eventually, the cliches wear out the welcome of the music, and you’re left with nothing.

Justin Bieber featuring Usher—”Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)”
#58
Not terrible, but Bieber, for all his new found “maturity”, over-vocalizes in a juvenile manner, while Usher leans too heavily on the show-biz warmth he’s a master of. I’ll stick with Nat “King” Cole, thank you very much.

Kelly Clarkson—”What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)”
#64
I wish I liked this more, but for all of Clarkson’s strengths as a vocalist there isn’t much she can make of this song, which is essentially a gussied up version of “Since You Been Gone”. It doesn’t flow dynamically or build like “Gone” though; it settles in at a certain volume level and stays there, leaving Clarkson with nothing to bounce her vocals off of. Unfortunately, this is the kind of stuff Clarkson seems to like. When she has material that allows her to vary her voice and take advantage of both her timbre and her emotional and vocal range she’s one of the best pop singers around; when she doesn’t she’s just another shouter

Florence + The Machine—”Shake It Out”
#86
I’m impressed by the production, which starts with a big sound that gets even bigger as it goes along, and there’s a kernel of real emotion and a good hook somewhere under all the drums and blare and Florence’s multi-tracked vocals. A lot of people bring up Annie Lennox as a comparison, but this is more like Bonnie Tyler, or what Kate Bush might sound like if she were produced by Jim Steinman. Those aren’t necessarily bad things, but it is a bit of a mess.

Wale featuring Miguel—Lotus Flower Bomb”
#87
Wale can be clever, such as the moment near the end where he sings the vowels (“Ahhh, A, E, I-O-Ooooh”), but too much of this is ordinary, and Miguel adds nothing, including a hook.

The Black Keys—”Lonely Boy”
#91
I can understand the appeal of these guys: they provide straightforward funk ‘n’ roll without all the masculine preening and posturing, and Dangermouse’s production adds enough of a modern touch to keep them from turning into an indie Sha Na Na. But this is still nothing more than basic, well-produced blues-based boogie. And on the intro, which sounds like the soundtrack to Coney Island Hipster Beach Party, they are the indie Sha Na Na.

Kaskade featuring Neon Trees—”Lessons In Love”
#94
Not to be confused with Cascada, of course, or any other dance pop band featuring loud, fuzzy synths and slow climbs up a chromatic scale passed off as solos. I do like the unpolished sound of the vocals, though; they actually keep me listening.

Hunter Hayes—”Storm Warning”
#98
Twenty years old, a former child-actor and already a full-time country hack, you can hear Hayes trying hard to sound like his heroes, who in this case appear to be Rascal Flatts. His phrasing makes him sound like he’s sixteen, though, with a lot to learn in the vocal department. Not to mention the originality department, though I doubt if he’s much interested in that one.

Justin Moore—”Bait A Hook”
#100
Sometimes I have a hard time telling all the Justins and Jasons and Jerrods apart, and this song is one reason why. There’s not a hint of originality or personality in the music, the lyrics (the third country hit in the last three months to emphasize fishing), or the vocals. The occasional hints of sexual jealousy are interesting, but the country chauvinism is strictly by the book and the stereotyping of city boys plain stupid. As anonymous as they come.

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Hot 100 Roundup—11/5/11

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

Justin Bieber—”Mistletoe”
#11
Just for the season, Bieber steps out of hip-pop into Jason Mraz/Colbie Caillat/Coca-Cola commercial territory. At least I hope it’s just for the season.

Christina Perri—”A Thousand Years”
#74
Perri is actually getting better. This is merely mediocre instead of out and out terrible like “Jar of Hearts”. But then, this is a soundtrack cut, so maybe she wasn’t trying as hard.

Rick Ross featuring Nicki Minaj—”You The Boss”
#84
Did Nicki Minaj really know what was going on when she gave Ross the hook to this piece of sexist, misogynistic tripe? Had she heard the rap, or more importantly, the second female vocal (I’m assuming it isn’t her, and I hope to God I’m right) before she laid down her part? I’m trying very hard to avoid personally insulting Ross, because he may very well just be playing a part, but can I help it if I always imagine that part as Jabba the Hut?

Chris Young—”You”
#85
Not bad for a by-the-numbers country love song; I like the chorus a lot. But there’s nothing special about Young’s voice or his ideas. He just happened to write a half-way decent song this time, is all.

Romeo Santos featuring Usher—”Promise”
#94
Not as delightfully insane as “You”, but odd and pleasant enough. Santos’s voice is so ethereal that almost everything he sings drifts off into the stratosphere, and not even Usher, who sounds a bit out of his depth, can hold him down. I’d love to hear what a production team like Stargate could do with him, but my fear is that the closer he gets to crossing over the more he going to sound like Enrique Iglesias. If he gives Pitbull a guest spot we’ll know it’s over.

Wale featuring Kid Cudi—”Focused”
#97
Blurry.

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Hot 100 Update—2/28/11

Monday, February 28th, 2011

Katy Perry featuring Kanye West—”E.T.”
#28
Perry is justifiably famous—or infamous, depending on how you look at it—for working all sorts of sexual innuendo into her music without ever sounding lewd or crude. Her double entendres always sound innocent, if such a thing is possible, and squeaky clean. Apparently, Kanye West thought something should be done about this, because his rap is as crude as it could possibly be, and will only throw fuel on the growing argument over his apparent misogyny. We’ve always known that he knew how to make a record; now we know how easily he can spoil one, too.


New Boyz featuring The Cataracs & Dev—”Backseat”
#37
This goes a long way towards rehabilitating New Boyz, who I worried had been completely corrupted by the industry on their last single. Their raps are bouncy and energetic again, and their youth gives them an edge over the competition. All the same, this record belongs to The Cataracs, and though it’s good it’s not as good as they’ve been in the past. It’s fresher than most of the other rap on the charts, though. I’ve been loving the stuff coming out of Los Angeles lately, and this is another one.

Glee Cast
“Baby”, #47
“Sing”, #49
“Take Me Or Leave Me”, #51
“Somebody To Love”, #62
I know, I swore I wasn’t going to review anymore of this stuff, but I did say that I would make an exception if they ever did anything interesting, and since putting out decent music qualifies, as far as Glee is concerned, as doing something interesting, I felt it was only fair to mention it. Especially since it’s not just one decent recording, but all four. None of these are great, and all the usual flaws—weak singing, simplistic arrangements, a tendency towards show tune coyness—still apply, but somehow they seem to be less glaring in this week’s batch. In fact, this is easily the best week Glee has ever had. On the Justin Bieber numbers the usual weaknesses are actually an advantage—the songs seem more human, less fine-tuned and calculated, and hence more emotional. If anything, these versions help to point out the biggest problem with Bieber: that his singing conveys no feeling whatsoever, not even innocence or naivete, just a blank nothingness. And for those Bieber haters who still found themselves being sucked in by “Baby”, now you know why: it’s a great song. As for “Sing”, even My Chemical Romance fans would have to admit that the chorus makes a lot more sense sung by a choir, even if the lead vocals are weak.

Justin Bieber—”Born To Be Somebody”
#74
Since he recently changed his hairstyle, I’m hoping this will be the last gasp of the old, mid-adolescence Bieber, and that after this he’ll at least move on to high school. In the meantime, see above.

Chris Young—”Tomorrow”
#86
Some country critics think that Young has a lot of promise, but I can’t see it. His voice is fine, but this is the third single in a row that has demonstrated a smarm and manipulative shamelessness that strikes me as glaringly obvious. This time, he goes back for one last booty call before dumping his girlfriend (his wife?). Apparently in country you can get away with this sort of sexist hypocrisy as long as you sound unhappy while you do it.

Tinie Tempah featuring Eric Turner—”Written In the Stars”
#91
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/13/11

The Black Eyed Peas—”Just Can’t Get Enough”
#92
I appreciate their attempt to mix the ’80s pop they grew up on with the “future” they created on their last album, but so far the results have been disappointing. This song doesn’t build at all, it just shifts gears two-thirds of the way through, and not in an appealing way. That electric DJ voice is getting truly irritating and, unlike many others, this is not a band I’m easily irritated by.

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Hot 100 Roundup—2/20/11

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

Because of the larger than usual number of records to hit the chart this week, I decided to split the roundup in half; the Hot 100 today, Bubbling Under tomorrow. Chances are this will become a regular thing. The number of records making the chart each week seems to be growing, even when Glee doesn’t add its weight to the equation, and I’ve enjoyed combing through the Bubbling Under chart for those who have never made the big chart and possibly never will. How long this will continue depends on how much free time I have, but right now I have plenty, so we’ll give it a go.

Lady Gaga—”Born This Way”
#1
Celebratory in all the right ways, if hardly groundbreaking, this represents a shift in Lady Gaga from persona—and not a very nice one—to person. She’s said herself that there is essentially no difference now between Stefani Germanotta and Gaga, a position that allows her to double-down on concept and at the same indulge her personal, real-life loves and opinions without any noticeable division between her human self and her image. It’s impossible to judge where this will go based on only one song, but in its way it’s not much different than what Taylor Swift has done in mixing her life with her art, albeit with a more eccentric fashion sense. It’s a tricky path, and it’s hard not to wonder if some day Gaga will turn into the Norma Desmond of pop music, trapped in her own delusional image of herself. For now, though, it’s working, and though “Born This Way” is more pastiche than anything original, cheering on a victory that for the most part has already been won, it’s still her pastiche, and it comes across as the real thing, even if Gaga herself doesn’t.

Jay Sean featuring Lil Wayne—”Hit the Lights”
#18
The particular strain of British hip-hop that Jay Sean represents, along with Taio Cruz and Tinie Tempah, is, in many ways, almost irresistable. The hooks are insistant, the tempos bright and bouncy, and the overall atmosphere one of mindless but real enjoyment. This song would appear to be about dancing. Lil Wayne adds nothing, but he doesn’t subtract, either, and this bounces along so effortlessly its impossible not to be sucked in. So what else can I say but “here’s another one”?

Colbie Caillat—”I Do”
#23
A lot of people will probably hate this on general principal, and once it becomes a staple soundtrack for engagement ring commercials they’ll have a right. But charming is charming, and this bounces along, lighter than air, with a confidence and optimism that for most people would probably be sadly misplaced. For someone as privileged as Caillat though, it makes perfect sense, and I still say that she’s essentially a Taylor Swift for rich beach-bunny’s and all the girls who wish they were. Why shouldn’t they be allowed to have a soundtrack of their own?

Glee Cast
“Firework”, #34
“Silly Love Songs”, #45
“When I Get You Alone”, #47
“Fat Bottomed Girls”, #56
“P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing), #58
“She’s Not There”, #87

Wiz Khalifa—”Roll Up”
#48
Khalifa’s an interesting case, but I’m not sure I understand the fuss that some are making about him. As a rapper he’s less pop than, say, B.o.B., but a lot more pop than others; his vocals have some of the flat dryness of Drake, but with a smoother, less self-important flow. All the same, nothing much about him stands out. He’s good, but he’s not great, and though I appreciate the believability of the scenario he creates here, and his stuff goes down pleasantly enough, there’s nothing special or new about it, either. I wouldn’t call him mediocre, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to hear him.

Jana Kramer—”I Won’t Give Up”
#75
Weepy-eyed country doesn’t come much more ordinary than this. I’m sure she means well, but nobody ever saved a man by boring him to death.

Lupe Fiasco featuring Skylar Grey—”Words I Never Said”
#89
It’s been a long time since anything so blatantly political has appeared on the Hot 100, and Fiasco wins big points with me by not pulling any punches, including calling both Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck racists, which they are. It also helps that he supports common sense rather than any political or philosophical side—berating both Muslim terrorists and right-wing Israelis, and blaming the problems of the inner city as much on those who live there as on the system. He loses me on the 9/11 conspiracy stuff, but fortunately he buries that in the mix. Which isn’t hard to do, since the sound is huge. He knows what he’s talking about, and he rarely slips up. Almost guaranteed to disappear as quickly as it arrived, but this is a welcome breath of fresh air.

Justin Bieber—”Pray”
#91
While Lupe Fiasco works out the details, Justin Bieber, bless his precious little seventeen-year-old soul, only knows things are bad somewhere because he sees the news on TV in his hotel room between personal appearances. So when his handlers presented him with this inspirational poster to the world, he sang it as best he could, trying hard to imagine how it must feel to care about these things (thinking how Michael Jackson did it helped a lot). It’s all part of the job, folks, all part of the job.

My Chemical Romance—”Sing”
#92
An instant anthem, not least because I’d swear I’ve heard it somewhere before. Still, these guys know how to toy with a formula and bring some life to it, and the music and lyrics are gritty enough to get away with the uplift parts. Unfortunately, this might also be another step in their turning into the newest version of Green Day. As long as they keep their sense of humor, that might not be bad thing. If they lose it, though, the way Green Day did, watch out.

Miranda Lambert—”Heart Like Mine”
#95
One of my favorite songs from Revolution, containing what might be the most striking and daring image from that album: Jesus greeting Lambert in heaven with a pair of champagne flutes. Up until this song, Lambert, unlike most of her country contemporaries, has avoided sticking Jesus into her music—he didn’t show up on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend at all—and now that he makes an appearance it’s as a drinking buddy. She’s not just a great singer and songwriter, she’s just the sort of Christian I can get along with. I only hope this doesn’t raise a stink with the fundamentalists.

Ronnie Dunn—”Bleed Red”
#99
The artist formerly known as half of Brooks and Dunn opens his solo career with a sympathy move: “See, I’m still a souful, feeling sort of guy, even without what’s-his-name.” Next time he’ll be picking up cowgirls in honky-tonks over rock and roll guitars just to demonstrate his “range”. A career’s a career. You gotta keep it going somehow.

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Where have I seen this before?

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

Slow as I am, I’ve only now gotten around to watching the Grammy awards (I was at a film noir festival the night they were broadcast, watching Ronald Coleman go insane and murder Shelley Winters while reciting Shakespeare—it was worth it). I have nothing much to add to the discussion except for one thing: did anyone else notice that Eminem and Dr. Dre pulled exactly the same sentimental schtick that Justin Bieber and Usher did earlier in the show? You know, up and coming white kid paying homage to the older black mentor who helped him break into a largely segregated genre? I just wish there had been a video of Eminem meeting Dre like the one they had of Bieber and Usher. Though I suppose that wouldn’t be suitable for network TV, would it?

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Hot 100 Roundup—10/3/10

Thursday, October 7th, 2010

Glee Cast
“Empire State of Mind”, #21
“Telephone”, #23
“Billionaire”, #28
“Listen”, #38
“What I Did For Love”, #51

Akon—”Angel”
#62
Yet another “I Gotta Feeling” rip, only this time not from someone directly associated with the original record, which is a relief. Akon’s voice may have changed, but his gift for hooks remains, and here he strings enough together to make for a bearable dance record. My only question is whether this is intended as a tribute to Lady GaGa, who has guaranteed Akon a comfortable living even if he never has another hit. Maybe he should just go into promotion and forget this whole making records business. He wouldn’t be the first.

Update: Whoops, there I go forgetting to check the credits again. This was produced by David Guetta, so just ignore that first sentence.

Maroon 5—”Stutter”
#84
Catchier than their previous records off the new album, but in its own way just as stiff and claustrophobia inducing. Their clockwork groove is like a wall they build between the music and whatever emotion is supposedly generating it. Which means they’re either trying too hard or are too tasteful to get really funky. Working with a producer other than the tireless careerist Robert John Lange might help.

Jesse McCartney—”Shake”
#90
A few years ago, Jesse McCartney was the equivalent of Justin Bieber, only with a little more funk and without the hordes of screaming girls. Now he seems to be in limbo. His voice has matured, but his material still has a teenage quality to it (doesn’t everybody’s?) that doesn’t quite match with his voice. I like the telephone gimmick leading into the chorus, and this is catchy and almost funky enough to get by, but the song’s slightly Bieberish quality throws me off. He’s like a solo version of Maroon 5: his heart is in the right place, but his music is too stiff to catch up.

Diddy – Dirty Money featuring Drake—”Loving You No More”
#91
This goes down smooth and easy in the background, but like most muzak, once you get up close you notice how barren it is. And that’s even before Drake clears his throat and starts to rap.

Mike Posner—”Please Don’t Go”
#94
Pleasant but forgettable, which is a step up from his last record, which was brainless (often mistaken for pleasant) and irritating. I like the random electronics on the last verse, but the rest of it is sap. With guys like Posner and Owl City on the scene, the hipness quotient of electronic music is going to nosedive fast, if it hasn’t already.

Bubbling Under:

Zac Brown Band featuring Jimmy Buffett—”Knee Deep”
#101
When Zac Brown sings by himself, he sounds like James Taylor. When he sings with Alan Jackson, he sounds like Alan Jackson. Guess who he sounds like now? And no, despite the presence of the original inspiration, this is not as good as “Toes”.

Bon Jovi—”What Do You Got?”
#102
Ann Powers swears that Bon Jovi is a great arena band, and though I’ve never thought of that as a distinct genre, I’m willing to take her word on it. All the same, should I ever find myself in an arena with Bon Jovi, this song is when I would seize the opportunity to find a bathroom.

Maroon 5 with Lady Antebellum—”Out of Goodbyes”
#103
Apparently anyone who comes in contact with Lady Antebellum turns immediately into another version of Fleetwood Mac, and though the voices don’t blend as magically as Buckingham’s and McVie’s, this has its moments (the line about the “storm brewing in his eyes” is perfectly set). But moments is all it has, and though the playing is as precise as you’d expect, Fleetwood Mac was both precise and passionate, and that makes all the difference.

David Guetta featuring Kid Cudi—”Memories”
#104
Never, ever listen to a song called “Memories”. It’s guaranteed to be sentimental, even when it comes on with garish, hard-edged dance beats and features a vocalist who sounds like he’s coked himself hoarse. In fact, that might be even worse.

Bruno Mars featuring Damian Marley—”Liquor Store Blues”
#105
This doesn’t work, largely because Mars’s overdeveloped pop instinct undercuts whatever sense of “the blues” he may possess, but I’m fascinated by his attempts to show a serious side, or at least some sort of social conscious (this, “Billionaire”, maybe even “Fuck You”). It’s not the sort of thing you find in most masters of lighthearted melodic hooks, and it suggest that if he can ever manage to balance the two, he could become a major artist, instead of just a highly successful one.

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Picking up the pace

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

A few months back I wrote about how prolific Justin Bieber had been with product, releasing a record every three to four weeks over a period of six months. At the time, I wondered who might follow him down that path, and now I know: none other than Bieber’s mentor, Usher. Since January, Usher has released six singles, an LP, and, as of today, an EP, all spaced an average of four weeks apart.

In terms of actual music produced, of course, the LP and the EP are it; all the singles come from one or the other. But it’s the pace of the product that matters, especially in terms of setting an example for others. Those seeking new routes to record sales and considering something like the Bieber campaign must be watching Usher very closely, because he’s been even more successful with that strategy than Bieber, scoring two top ten records (including a number one) another couple of top twenties, and most likely a third top ten in the newly released “Hot Tottie” (although if he wasn’t sixteen and suffering so much backlash, Bieber may well have been just as successful).

A few years ago I was predicting that Usher’s days as a star were numbered, and under the old release paradigm that may have been true. But the paradigm is switching yet again, and this time Usher is on top of it. I’d look for a lot more of this in the next year, and don’t be surprised if the new standard—for pop stars, at least—becomes a new record every four to six weeks, with occasional breaks for LPs and EPs. Kanye West already seems to be thinking in these terms, even if his song a week plan doesn’t include much salable product. Exposure is the key, and exposure, more than ever before, requires a constant stream of new and different and exciting material. If you think pop music is interesting now…

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Slow Death

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

J. BIEBZ – U SMILE 800% SLOWER by Shamantis

The super slowed-down version of Justin Bieber’s “U Smile” does, I admit, sound pretty cool (though it also sounds surprisingly random, as if someone were just pushing buttons on a sampler while either stoned or bored out of their mind). But it sets a terrible precedent. Soon the internet will be jam-packed with these things, as various kneejerk creators search for the worst possible song they can find to convert into an unrecognizable ambient “composition”. Perhaps they should go in the opposite direction, and create something more like this. Then they could get David Lynch to direct the video.

Just as a side note, I find it interesting that this should appear just as “U Smile” was starting to get a promotional push as Bieber’s next single. Is that just Shamantis’s way of promoting himself, or is something going on under the table? Are Bieber’s handlers that smart? Or is Shamantis (whoever he is) that desperate?

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Bieber cashes in

Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

In the last few weeks, instead of releasing a new record as he has every month since last August, Justin Bieber has announced a guest appearance on CSI, a 3D concert movie, an illustrated “memoir” (hey, do you remember last November? wasn’t that cool?), and now he’s appearing in a Proactiv skin cleanser infomercial. It’s tempting to think that he and his handlers are seeing signs of Bieber fever cooling off (his last single, “Somebody To Love”, which was probably his best, just squeezed into the top fifteen and has been plummeting the last few weeks), but I doubt if that’s the case. This is merely a consolidation of assets after a year of success as preparations are made for the next phase. And if the next phase doesn’t work, there’s nothing wrong with building up that trust fund while the opportunity is still there.

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