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Mediocrity is a Spongiform Virus from Outer Space: Hot 100 Roundup—4/6/13

Thursday, April 11th, 2013

The main symptoms of which are ennui and procrastination, hence the lateness of this. It isn’t just that mediocre records are hard to write about, though they are, but they drain whatever energy you have for writing, as well. And so far this has been a very mediocre year. There’s not a single record this week—and this is the biggest debut week so far, in terms of the number of records—that I have any strong feelings about. It’s been that way for three months now, which is why my Best of the Hot 100 playlist only has four songs on it (and one of those is over a year old). Even though it’s still early in the year, there’s little sign of it getting better. I wonder where the real action is?

will.i.am featuring Justin Bieber—“#thatPOWER”
#42

Since I’m expecting the usual will.i.am haters to raise a fuss about the lift from Daft Punk and the emptiness of Justin Bieber’s vocal, it’s probably a waste of time to mention that this is easily the best thing will.i.am has produced since The E.N.D., way back at the dawn of the EDM era he helped create. It’s nowhere near as good, partly because it’s a rehash, and partly because of Bieber, but just like The E.N.D. it’s better than most people will give him credit for. Me, I respect him for sticking to his electro guns, and just want to point out that Bieber sounds a lot more alive than Britney Spears did, though not as much as Fergie.

Justin Timberlake—“Pusher Love Girl”
#64

The news that Timberlake’s 20/20 Experience is essentially a contractual obligation album—though for a performance contract rather than the usual recording contract—explains a lot. The length of the songs, for one thing (just like “Mirrors”, “Pusher Love” runs over eight minutes): when you need to put an album together in a hurry, there’s nothing like extended breakdowns, intros, and codas to make it look like you’re giving your audience their money’s worth. It also explains the relative shallowness of the lyrics, and occasionally the music. No doubt Timbaland has a ton of beats and backing tracks piled up on his hard drives, but lyrics, and even lyrical themes, can be harder to come by. “Pusher Love” could almost be a case in point. It features a lengthy and unnecessary orchestral intro, an even lengthier and perhaps even less necessary breakdown and coda, and, in between all that, a B+ level beat and lyrics that add nothing. All the same, this is the best track from 20/20 to hit the charts so far, and a decent radio edit could work wonders. It’s good enough, in fact, to make you wonder why it wasn’t released as the first single instead of “Suit & Tie”. I assume it had something to do with branding the upcoming tour, and maybe to lower expectations for a project Timberlake doesn’t have much of his heart invested in. The question is how much respect he’s willing to lose. He’s certainly lost a lot of mine.

Tyga featuring Cedric Gervais, Wiz Khalifa & Mally Mall—“Molly”
#66

Sometimes I like Tyga, sometimes I hate him, this time I don’t care.

Lil Wayne featuring 2 Chainz—“Rich As Fuck”
#78

A couple of lines suggest that Wayne may have some brain cells left, but then it winds down into the usual rap misogyny, which used to be unusual for Wayne. The beat’s dull, too.

J Dash—“Wop”
#82

“Another J. Dash production!” Are we supposed to have remembered the last one? I don’t. Though it’s harder to create a one-word hook than it might seem, it isn’t that hard. Besides, Dash doesn’t put anything worth hearing between the hooks. I thank him, though, for reminding me of The Coasters “Turtle Dovin’”. I wonder if Dash has heard it.

Zedd featuring Foxes—“Clarity”
#86

Another small step in the direction of turning EDM into just another form of pop music, as opposed to a revitalization. This has it’s moments, but the music is so loud that the vocals get stretched out of any recognizable emotional range in compensation, which the music, ironically enough, isn’t full enough to hide.

Jake Owen—“Anywhere With You”
#92

For some reason I keep confusing Jake Owen with Luke Bryan, which is unfair to Bryan, who has some brains and is willing to experiment. Owen’s a hack, but country radio must love him because he’s managed to milk Barefoot Blue Jean Night for over a year now, even though each single has been duller than the one before it. Maybe it’s because he’s so willing to pander: the opening line may be the most egregious and ridiculous example I’ve ever heard.

Kip Moore—“Hey Pretty Girl”
#97

Eric Church may use Bruce Springsteen as a symbol of romantic nostalgia, but Moore goes a step further: from his cover pose in a leather jacket, Fender in hand, to the careful, repetitive folk plainness of his style, it’s obvious Moore wants to be Springsteen. That he fails isn’t a surprise, but it’s also for reasons you might not expect. “Hey Pretty Girl” goes on too long and repeats itself too much, but that’s the least of Moore’s problems. The big issue is his inability to break out of the country straitjacket, which forces him to pay the usual lyrical homages to family and motherhood and true love, even though the music is speaking Springsteen’s language of thwarted dreams and diminished hopes. If he wants to be Springsteen, or even get close, Moore is going to need to go all the way. Either that or try something else.

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The Year Starts Here: Hot 100 Roundup—2/16/13

Friday, February 15th, 2013

At last, a great record makes an appearance, and I’ll try not to let the fact that’s it’s almost a year old bias me against 2013 (besides, there’s more great, newer stuff coming up next week). “I Love It” may be a freak as far as current pop is concerned, but it’s the kind of freak that could mean something down the line. Here’s hoping it hangs on for a while.

Justin Bieber
“Nothing Like Us”, #59
“As Long As You Love Me ( Acoustic)”, #98

Just as some critics (meaning me) we’re starting to accord Bieber a level of respect he at least partly deserves, he delivers a blatant cash-in in the form of an acoustic version of Believe and blows up any possibility of taking him seriously. I have no doubt this is exactly what Bieber’s core fan base was looking for, and I don’t entirely blame him for taking advantage of them by giving them what they want. The problem is that an acoustic setting, especially one designed to genuflect to his audience, emphasizes Bieber’s worst instincts. His singing is all sentiment and sham emotion, and his careful phrasing, which was becoming one of his greatest strengths, is thrown out along with the original arrangements. The lowest point is the track that’s the most popular. “Nothing Like Us”, the one new song on the album, seems designed to do nothing more than feed speculation about Bieber’s relationship with Selena Gomez. Bieber throws every bad lesson he’s learned about singing at it, and the result is worse than terrible, it’s disgusting.

The Lonely Island featuring Adam Levine and Kendrick Lamar—“YOLO”
#60

As an idea, and an old one at that, “you only live once” is no more worthy of attention than any other variation on carpe diem. As a hashtag, though, as justification for any and all levels of entitlement and stupidity, it’s a menace, and deserves all the satire and derision that comes its way. The problem with “Yolo” is that by stressing the opposite extreme it tacitly endorses the worst possible definition of the meme. It’s a parody of entitlement for the entitled. Also, it isn’t funny. Hearing Kendrick Lamar give financial advice is good for a brief chuckle, but the effect has faded away by the time he finishes his bars (it’s the only time he’s ever bored me). The song does reveal one important truth, however, if only by association: Adam Levine is the Michael Bolton of his era (i.e. uptempo and with an r&b beat). Why didn’t I realize this before?

Icona Pop featuring Charli XCX—“I Love It”
#69

One of the best singles of 2012 becomes the first great record to make the Hot 100 in 2013, and I could care less if the nation had to be exposed to the sight of Lena Dunham bouncing up and down and singing along to make it happen. “I Love It” touches on a level of anger that Girls (at least the episodes I’ve seen) has never approached. It blows a hole through the rest of the charts in a way few records ever have, not just in terms of attitude but of sound as well. It won’t last, because unless this bump in sales continues (it’s already dropped fourteen places since its debut) radio won’t touch it. My only hope is that it opens the door for Charli XCX, whose “You’re the One” was my favorite single of last year. Whatever the case, I haven’t been so happy and surprised about a record making the chart since M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes”.

Glee Cast—“Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)”
#91

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
“Can’t Hold Us” (featuring Ray Dalton), #97
“Same Love” (featuring Mary Lambert), #99

At last, rap music that guilty white liberals can love. Academics, too. An entire career could be built sorting out the psychology of a rapper/producer duo that works from an exclusively white perspective but feels the need to bring in black singers to deliver the hooks. Are they simply recognizing their own limitations, or is that their idea of authenticity? Or could it be an acknowledgment of the debt they owe black music? Or a spreading of the wealth to assuage their own sense of guilt? Whatever the case, at its best its an obvious ploy, at its worst condescending as hell. Macklemore and Lewis do perform one public service, though: they render the existence of Asher Roth and Mac Miller superfluous. I wonder who’ll do the same for them next year.

Rihanna featuring Future—“Loveeeeeee Song”
#100

Rihanna’s name comes first, but “Loveeeeeee Song” is Future’s record. He not only guests on it but produced, and whether he wrote it with Rihanna in mind or just gave her something he was working on, it was a wise decision. Rihanna has been loosening up as a vocalist but retains a mechanical quality that makes her a perfect foil for Future’s auto-tuned, over the top emotionalism. At the same time, giving “Loveeeeeee Song” to Rihanna allows Future to drop the street rapper facade that generates the most clichéd moments on his own records and indulge his romantic instincts. In the end, the credits don’t matter: this is a high point for both of them.

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Best of the Hot 100, 2012

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

There seems to be general agreement that 2012 was not a good year for pop music—musically, commercially, or for those who cover it. I have my doubts about this (I have my doubts about the whole concept of good and bad years in general, but that’s another discussion), but there’s no doubting the negatives.

The commercial aspect is obvious: CD sales continue to drop, and digital sales aren’t rising fast enough to compensate. Individual track sales are booming, but LP sales are still far behind.

For critics, while the opportunities to publish, or at least self-publish, continue to expand (which may be part of the problem), the possibility of getting paid has dropped. The two most obvious signs of this decline—the firing of Maura Johnston at the Village Voice in favor of the snarky, listicle-based, and largely out of touch music coverage featured in the other Voice Media papers (disclaimer: by extension, I was one of the victims in Maura’s firing); and the failure of Uncool to find crowd-sourced financial backing (largely their own fault, but still)—suggest that support for decent music writing exists, for the most part, only among decent music writers, and stretches not much further than their families and friends.

As for the music, this has been a transitional year, though I wouldn’t call it a complete disaster. The collapse of hip-hop as the reigning genre, a process that started back in 2008, became a general part of the discussion this year, as the music all but disappeared from the top ten. Older stars like Usher (and Beyonce in 2011) found it almost impossible to scale the pop charts, even after they modernized their sound. Of the younger artists, only Nicki Minaj and Rihanna have managed to stay near the top of the charts, but both had established themselves in the years before, and there were no big breakout artists.

In rap, though a number of new artists in the older mold (Wiz Khalifa, 2 Chainz, Big Sean, and others) scored decent hits, none of them have made much of a mark on the pop charts. Far more successful, and claiming the most critical interest over the last year, have been artists like Kendrick Lamar, Frank Ocean, and Future, who follow in the wake of the album that broke the old form’s dominance: Kanye West’s 808s and Heartbreaks. 808s is not only one of the markers for the commercial collapse of hip-hop, but has become far more influential musically than anyone expected. West, not surprisingly, is also the only established rapper who continues to have major pop hits.

So far, though, even as hip-hop has faded, nothing has stepped up to take its place, at least not in in comparison to the total domination hip-hop enjoyed for over a decade. Instead, we have three different streams rising up and sharing the spotlight.

The one that has gotten the most attention, and certainly the most press, is the dance and party music that has been stuck with the name EDM. EDM made its first major appearance on the pop charts via The Black Eyed Peas in the late oughts, just as hip-hop was starting its swan dive. The electro-based minimalism of BEP has been largely replaced by various types of eurodisco (Calvin Harris, David Guetta, Swedish House Mafia), and dupstep (Skrillex, Diplo, Zedd, and many others).

Over the last year it was dubstep that got the most attention. Skrillex’s singles, though never large pop hits, stayed on the lower reaches of the Hot 100 through most of the year, and he sold out everywhere he played (which was pretty much anywhere, and almost every night). Then came Usher’s Diplo-produced “Climax”, one of the best singles of the year and a number one r&b record, but not a big pop hit, most likely because it was too subtle to come across on top forty radio.

After that, it was as if the floodgates had opened, and every wave contained another “drop”. By the end of the year, dubstep had found a place in almost every genre. Not just in r&b and hip-hop, but in sensitive singer-songwriter balladry (Alex Clare’s “Too Close”, produced by Diplo), teen-pop (Carly Rae Jepsen and Justin Bieber), and even, if you stretch the definition a bit, country, in the form of Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble” The most garish and obvious cash-in came on Pitbull’s “Back In Time” (produced by RedOne). Laying the wobble on Mickey and Sylvia’s “Love Is Strange” created one of the most joyfully ridiculous pop moments this year, and it continues to mystify me that the record wasn’t a bigger hit.

Just behind EDM was teen-pop, mostly in the form of the effervescent Jepsen and the somewhat beleaguered and bipolar (in a relationship sense) Swift. The Disney factory, which for all intents and purposes created teen-pop as a genre, was for the most part silent this year, with only the rehabbed Demi Lovato’s “Give Your Heart a Break” scoring big, although Bridgit Mendler continues to hover on the lower reaches of the Hot 100 with the readymade “Ready Or Not”.

The Disney gap was largely filled by Brits. Boy band One Direction turned the Disney blueprint into gold, pumping out one bright, snappy pop/rock track after another, while Cher Lloyd toughened the stance without losing the cheeky corniness of the genre (if anything she amplified it). “Want U Back” is too mature to fit the Disney mold well, but follow-up single “Oath” could have come off the soundtrack to any Disney Channel musical of the last five years (“Oath” wasn’t a big hit, but it was scooped up by a lot of teens with their iTunes gift cards after Christmas—enough to give the record it’s highest chart placement after it had fallen off the Hot 100 two weeks before; the next week it was gone again).

The third stream produced big hits but hasn’t, as far as I can see, gotten much publicity, or what it has gotten has been for a different reason. I call it the “new seriousness”, though that can hardly be considered a genre name. Most of these records came from what usually get called “indie bands”, though that label becomes more meaningless all the time (and it never meant much). The biggest hits, by Gotye and fun., (Foster the People’s “Pumped Up Kicks” started the ball rolling in late 2011), feature intense self-reflection and -doubt, with a heightened, though intellectualized, sense of musical melodrama.

These records aren’t to everyone’s taste, obviously, but the fact that lesser artists (Mumford and Sons, The Lumineers, Of Monsters and Men, Ed Sheeran, even American Idol winner Phillip Phillips), have been able to make hits along the same basic lines suggests that there’s a growing sense of—dare I say it?—personal responsibility building in the pop audience. The real proof may come later this year, when the new Arcade Fire is released. If they get a hit single, I’d say the “new seriousness” is officially a trend. If not, it’s a blip. (Meanwhile, the record I thought would be the next big “serious” hit—Passion Pit’s “Take A Walk”—continues to hover in the lower reaches of the chart. It’s dropped off a couple of times over the last three months, but it always comes back).

But was 2012 a mediocre year? I don’t think any year that contained “Call Me Maybe”, “Climax”, and “Adorn” could be called bad, and these judgments are best made in retrospect anyway, so I’m only prepared to go as far as calling it average and transitional. The pop audience is still making up its mind as to what will follow hip-hop as the dominant paradigm, but I would assume it will be a mixture of all three streams, an idea already explored by artists like Robyn and on Jepsen’s critically praised but commercially disappointing album Kiss (again, Arcade Fire’s new album may work as a test case, though I doubt there’ll be much teen-pop influence).

At any rate, my picks for the best songs to make the Hot 100 in 2012 are below. Basically, anything that would deserve a B+ or better—if I bothered to grade records, that is—is included. The only track missing from the playlist is Swift’s “Begin Again”, which isn’t yet available on Spotify. These are not in order of quality, though a lot of my favorites ended up at the beginning and the end, with the slightly lower quality stuff tossed about in the middle. The mix is a mess, but then the year was a mess, and at least this gives a sense of how scattered it was stylistically.

My choices make up slightly less than ten percent of the records that made the chart this year, and as could be expected, some of the inclusions and omissions are questionable, not just by you, but by me as well. Still here it is. (Ten percent, by the way, is what I would consider average. If it were fifteen it would be a good year, twenty a great one. Anything much below ten, though? I don’t even want to think about it).

Enjoy.

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Here Comes the Stampede
Hot 100 Roundup—10/5/12

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

As we ease, or force, our way into October, the release schedule continues to ramp up, and probably won’t ease off until Thanksgiving. It would be easier to be happy about this if the music were better. This week is a mixed bag, not just between different tracks but on the records themselves (nothing has exhilarated and disappointed me at the same time as much as the new P!nk single). Next week is more promising. Maybe I’ll feel better about rap by then.

Christina Aguilera—“Your Body”
#34

Aguilera still oversings, and her love of meaningless bombast is undiminished, but “Your Body” is easily her best record since 2006. She sounds on top of things again, and her voice, which has deepened and toughened with the years, makes up for a lot of the oversinging. It’s also worth mentioning that she was onto EDM back in 2008, and though all the records she released in the style up until this one tanked, she was ahead of the curve. So far ahead, in fact, that now she’s behind. I have strong doubts about the message of this song, though. I have nothing against celebrations of sexual pleasure by women in the their mid-thirties, but the cougar-on-the-prowl idea has been overworked, the song lacks sensuality, and Aguilera’s sexual aggressiveness sounds forced and unpleasant.

P!nk—“Try”
#56

The verses on “Try” are so beautiful that there’s a palpable let down when the track devolves into yet another of P!nk’s motivational choruses. Up until then, this is almost a textbook example of how experimental influences can be folded into pop music to create something both stunning and comfortably familiar. It’s one of the things pop is best at, but P!nk makes the mistake of not trusting her instincts and falling back on old ideas. In commercial terms, it will probably work, because no one else is better at this sort of thing, but “Try” could have been much more.

Swedish House Mafia featuring John Martin—“Don’t You Worry Child”
#68

Have you ever wondered what Coldplay would sound like if they went the EDM route? Wonder no more.

Kanye West, R. Kelly—“To the World”
#70

The beat is excellent, as always, and West politely gives R. Kelly the floor, limiting himself to a few of his usual boasts, allowing Kelly enough room to flip off the entire world. My only question: who gives a fuck? The level of willful self-delusion and fallacy on this record is unbelievable. Kelly talks like his inability to break a pop record anymore is all about his artistic principle and his determination to go his own way. But of course it isn’t. The quality of his music is as high as it ever was, and even flights of ridiculous fancy like the endless Trapped In the Closet wouldn’t put people off of him in large numbers if there weren’t other things to consider, like the fact that he videotaped himself peeing on a fourteen-year-old girl. Face it, Mr. Kelly, you are never going to live that down, and it has nothing to do with your talent or your artistic principle. Shut up. As for West, I await the day when he stops bragging about how rich he’s become and what a great artist he is and starts making some real art again. Besides, I don’t trust anyone who labels himself a tastemaker while foisting Big Sean on the world. That may be the greatest fuck you of them all.

Game featuring Chris Brown, Tyga, Wiz Khalifa & Lil Wayne—“Celebration”
#82

At a certain point the quality of the beats, the flow, even the words, no longer matters. Just like country singers and their pickup trucks, I don’t care if I hear another rapper bragging about the high life ever again. There are always exceptions, of course, but this isn’t one of them. In its own way, “Celebration” is as soft and self-satisfied as a Jimmy Buffett record, only nowhere near as smart, and without a hint of irony.

Carly Rae Jepsen featuring Justin Bieber—“Beautiful”
#87

Kiss is such a kaleidescope of pop styles that even an obvious Colbie Caillat/Jason Mraz imitation like “Beautiful” fits right in. It helps that it’s better than its influences in almost every way, and that Beiber sings as well as he ever has. The style is perfect for him (it should be, he wrote it), though I’m not sure it fits Jepsen as well as it might. Still, “Beautiful” is a good deal better than her pairing with Owl City.

Usher—“Numb”
#97

Usher deserves credit for absorbing modern dance music into his style, but I’m beginning to wonder if he’s been paying as much attention to modern R&B. After Frank Ocean’s “Novocane” it’s hard to believe anyone would use the term numb as a symbol of personal liberation or sexual exploration. As far as Usher is concerned, though, you can’t really feel until you can’t feel your face, or something like that. He may just mean letting yourself be taken over by the music, but even then numb is the wrong word, especially on a record that drives as hard as this one. There are times when I think Usher doesn’t even know, or care, what he’s singing about, a major flaw when you consider your vocals as important as your beats. In the clubs no one is going to care, and the Swedish House Mafia beat is better than just about any David Guetta or Calvin Harris track you care to name, but the disconnect is still puzzling.

Kip Moore—“Beer Money”
#99

Since country is embracing Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty these days, I suppose it makes sense to include John Mellencamp as well. But unless you’re imitating Mellencamp at his most inspired, all you’ll come up with is insipid pseudo-rock like this. The lyrics are clever in spots, and Moore’s last single, “Somethin’ ‘Bout a Truck” was far better, so I’m not giving up on him completely, but he might want to aim his sights a little higher.

Greg Bates—“Did It For the Girl”
#100

Love the intro, but it’s stolen from Smokey Robinson, and after that “I Did It For the Girl” turns ordinary fast. If you’re going to steal from the best, you may as well keep going. And a country version of “You Really Got A Hold On Me” could sound pretty good.

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From the Ridiculous To the Sublime
Hot 100 Roundup—7/7/12

Thursday, July 5th, 2012

Maroon 5—“One More Night”
#42
Less irritating than “Payphone”, but also less catchy, with both the band and producer Max Martin running on automatic. Since “Payphone” still hasn’t peaked (God help us), I’m not even sure why they released this. To prove to themselves they can still make hits without guest spots?

Justin Bieber
“Beauty and a Beat” (featuring Nicki Minaj), #72
“Right Here” (featuring Drake), #95
How confident is Justin Bieber in his talent? Confident enough that the two LP tracks with the highest profile guests are pure filler. Minaj gets jokey and suggestive but does nothing special, while Drake tries out a new flow and nails it but doesn’t say much. “Beauty and the Beat” has a great break, but for the most part the music is passable and nothing more. These charted only because of Minaj’s and Drake’s fans, and I’ll bet neither one will be released as an actual single.

Meek Mill featuring Drake—“Amen”
#86
Mill has nothing to say beyond the usual rap bragging, but he’s funnier and more clever about it than most: the line about drinking so much that when he takes a drug test he pees rosé is perfect, as are the lines about building himself a crib with a moat. As for Drake, he’s been using his post-Take Care guest spots to work out new vocal and rhythmic approaches, and so far he hasn’t taken a wrong step. He’s almost unrecognizable here, but he’s also very good, and his rap raises what would have been just an above-average track to a higher level. Not that much higher, mind you, but still an improvement.

Kelly Clarkson—“Dark Side”
#93
Clarkson is in a groove where every record she releases has some magical quality that makes it compelling, if not overwhelming. There’s a sense of both comfortableness and humility in the music she’s making now. After a couple of shaky years she trusts herself, her talent, and her audience more than ever, and it shows. More than any other singer I can think of, she wants to draw her listeners into her world, welcome them and reassure them, even when what she’s singing about is pain and the loss of emotional control. This isn’t a brilliant record, but it’s very, very good, almost as good as “Stronger”. For the moment, at least, Clarkson may be the world’s friendliest, most sublime, and perfect pop star.

Easton Corbin—“Lovin’ You Is Fun”
#100
Corbin, along with Chris Young, Luke Bryan, maybe Blake Shelton, and others, is what I call a country nerd. Goofy, smiling, dedicated, their music is always pleasant and well-crafted, but never strikes a nerve. To me, they’re a country version of the second-level power pop bands of the late ’70s, only instead of The Beatles and The Byrds they grew up on Garth Brooks and George Strait. They have talent, and they mean well, but most of them don’t have the stuff. Corbin is slightly better than the pack, but that isn’t saying much.

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Pouting Will Get You Nowhere
Hot 100 Roundup—6/30/12

Thursday, June 28th, 2012

Justin Bieber featuring Big Sean—“As Long As You Love Me”
#21
Bieber isn’t stupid, and he tries harder than he probably even needs to, but he’s still young, and he still feels the need, in order to connect with his fans, to couch even his most serious messages in the form of love songs. Hence this astute but confusing foray into dubstep. Bieber demonstrates true concern for the poor and disadvantaged while at the same time belittling their problems by saying that he could endure it all as long as he has “you” by his side. His vocals have never been better—just listen to his phrasing and dynamics on the line that ends “we could be broke”—and the arrangement has real darkness and urgency to it, but in the end it’s just another love song; he still hasn’t learned to merge rote romance with his more “serious” ideas. He’s right, though, I think, not to throw the romance out—if he could merge the two ideas he’d be on to something deeper than he may yet realize. The fact that he’s trying, though, is already a point in his favor.

Cher Lloyd—“Want U Back”
#75
This is a step up from other British trash pop singers like Jessie J and Rita Ora, but not by much. Details that seem distinctive at first—the frustrated grunting in the background, the pouting phrasing, Lloyd’s feeble attempts to mimic Nicki Minaj’s vocal pyrotechnics—quickly become irritating, and presenting herself as a woman who only want’s her ex back because somebody else grabbed him doesn’t exactly strike a blow for feminism, even she’s only playing a part. Judging, though, by her previous single, “Swagger Jagger” (no, I didn’t make that up), Lloyd is a one-shot and then some. Thank God.

Blake Shelton—“Over”
#89
Shelton has one great commercial advantage: it isn’t necessary to actually listen to his songs in order to appreciate them. You still have to hear them, of course, on the radio, in a bar, or a department store. But all the emotional effect they’re going to have on you can be had at a distance. The words and the details of the arrangements don’t matter. The texture of the music, the dynamics, the tempo, the familiar, reassuring chord changes, that’s all you need to hear to get everything there is out of his records. Listening closely, or even thinking about it, only diminishes the effect. It’s music to do other things to: washing the dishes, fixing the car, shopping. Once you hear the opening acoustic guitar, you anticipate the crash of drums and electric guitar in the chorus, and instead of delivering an emotional jolt, it’s comfortable and calming, just the thing to help you decide if you want to stock up on laundry detergent while it’s on sale. I doubt if this was Shelton’s intent—he may well see his overwrought melodramatic clichés as true emotion and pathos—but it’s still an achievement of a kind. And it’s certainly made him successful.

matchbox twenty—“She’s So Mean”
#91
matchbox twenty write and perform with such smugness you’d think they’d invented dumb. The song is stupid enough, but Rob Thomas’s phrasing, which I’m sure he put a lot of thought and effort into, results in some of the worst singing I’ve ever heard. Thomas is the kind of guy who thinks it’s funny when he pouts and whines like a five-year-old. There’s a reason that woman treats him like shit: he deserves it.

Lee Brice—“Hard To Love”
#96
Hard? Try impossible.

Driicky Graham—“Snap Backs and Tattoos”
#97
The beat gets inventive after a while, and Graham isn’t a bad rapper, but most of this is standard issue stuff, if more fashion conscious than the norm (he also has a rap about high-top sneakers). Hard to get past that name, though. Is that supposed to be a pun on Tricky? Dicky? A mix of the two? Who knows. I doubt we’ll ever hear enough from him to make it worth finding out.

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Half Full
Hot 100 Roundup—6/23/12

Thursday, June 21st, 2012

Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris—“All Around the World”
#22
You knew the Eurodisco was coming, right? But this is better than expected, with a great beat and all sorts of nice touches (love those live-sounding drum fills). Bieber’s singing continues to be a pleasant surprise, despite his occasional lapses into Chris Brown-style slurring. The inclusion of Ludacris, however, is a major stumble. When was the last time Ludacris contributed anything worthwhile to a track? I honestly can’t remember, and this is even worse than usual.

Lil Wayne featuring Big Sean—“My Homies Still”
#38
The beat isn’t as stunning as, say, “A Milli” or “Lollipop”, but at least it’s in the same ballpark, and suggests that Wayne is coming out of his post-prison funk. His raps aren’t brilliant, but he sounds like he has his energy back, even if he admits that he’s stepping aside from the game (at least the illegal parts of it). What I want to know is if he really spends his spare time skateboarding and listening to Rebirth?

Little Big Town—“Pontoon”
#51
It’s hard not to think of this as the country version of “Call Me Maybe”, a song so happy and infectious that attempting to resist it would cause a minor seizure. Though it never mentions the subject, it’s also about as sexy as country ever gets, with its deep, gently swelling groove and slide guitar creating a simmering heat. Like too many country records, there’s a certain smugness in its craftsmanship, and the sound could be looser to go with the light lyrical content, but otherwise it’s perfect.

Waka Flocka Flame featuring Nicki Minaj, Tyga & Flo Rida—“Get Low”
#72
This is built around one of the best hooks Flo Rida has come up with (which, whether you hate him or not, is saying something), but I have to admit that much of its appeal for me is based on what isn’t on it. No Flo Rida raps about rough sex and blow jobs, for one thing; Waka Flock Flame not yelling another. Nicki Minaj contributes nothing special, and the same goes for Tyga. But they probably felt that they didn’t need to; the hook carries the record along so well you barely notice the paltriness of everything else.

The Lumineers—“Ho Hey”
#90
Try to imagine a combination of .fun and Mumford and Sons. No, no, stop. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.

Imagine Dragons—“It’s Time”
#93
It would be unfair to label Imagine Dragons as merely fun. imitators. Most likely they were making this sort of record anyway, and are being seized on and promoted by the record company in an attempt to cash in. You can’t blame the band for that. But that doesn’t mean this is any good, or that if “We Are Young” didn’t exist anybody would pay attention to them. This sounds like fun. might if they were fans of Kings of Leon. The total lack of emotional confusion and/or subtlety in the lyric doesn’t help any, either.

The Black Keys—“Gold On the Ceiling”
#97
Boogie.

Thompson Square—“Glass”
#100
The worst kind of country acoustic balladry, based on an extended metaphor that might have worked if they hadn’t tried to get too much out of it or if they hadn’t tried to change it up in the last verse: they’re not just glass, but oil and water and gasoline too. That inconsistency might not have mattered, though, if the arrangement and singing weren’t filled through and through with sap. Oddly enough, that makes it even easier to see through them.

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Ghosts and Pitbulls
Hot 100 Roundup—6/16/12

Tuesday, June 19th, 2012

Justin Bieber—“Die In Your Arms”
#17
A good song, and though I could do without the spoken bits, there’s no doubt that Bieber has grown as a singer. The record as a whole, though, is creepy. Bieber’s adoration of Michael Jackson is well known, but to write a pastiche of early 70s Motown and then base the arrangement on a sample of the real thing (Jackson’s “We’ve Got a Good Thing Going”), with almost identical chord changes, seems like something more than adoration and something less than respect. It’s supposed to be a pleasant, gimmicky little love song, but instead it’s like listening to ghosts. I appreciate Bieber’s talent, but his judgment seems more off-kilter with every release.

Jay Sean featuring Pitbull—“I’m All Yours”
#85
Jay Sean is just behind Taio Cruz in the British eurodisco pantheon, and I was relieved to find that the drum crescendo leads into some straight four-on-the-floor rather than the dubstep breakdown I was expecting, but all the same this is Pitbull’s record, and once his rap is finished (I don’t count his banal return for the middle eight) it may as well be over. Pitbull’s raps, at least on his hits and guest spots over the last couple of years, have been so brief that it’s nice to hear him stretch out and be reminded of how good he is. I just wish he’d done it on a better record.

The Wanted—“Chasing the Sun”
#93
I like this more than “Glad You Came”, even though it comes close to being a cover version while demonstrating even less personality. The arrangement changes up in a more attractive way, and the absence of bald double entendres makes the meaningless lyrics more enjoyable as pure sound. It’s a pleasant little piece of eurodisco-influenced pop, and it would be foolish to expect anything more from them.

Keith Urban—“For You”
#97
Urban is a lightweight talent who takes himself too seriously, so of course when he gets hold of an important subject he bites down hard and grinds slow. The record doesn’t reach the point of actual disrespect through self-absorption, but it does little honor to anyone involved, including the men and women it’s about.

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Teen Pop Takeover

Thursday, June 7th, 2012

Just a couple of weeks ago I was lamenting the difficulty of getting teen pop records on the radio, and now there are four of them in the top ten of the Mainstream Airplay chart. By no coincidence at all, I’m sure, three of them (Justin Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen, and The Wanted) are managed by Scooter Braun. And according to this article in Billboard, Bieber, who’s the only established star in the bunch, may have had the hardest time getting there. I hope somebody somewhere is working on a profile of Braun, because I’d really like to know how this guy works. It can’t all be luck, right?

Correction: For reasons that are inexplicable to me, I named Scott Borchetta as Justin Bieber’s, and a bunch of other people’s, manager. It’s Scooter Braun. I’ve fixed it.

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F ‘em & F ‘em
Hot 100 Roundup—5/26/12

Tuesday, May 29th, 2012

2 Chainz featuring Drake—“No Lie”
#45
Drake’s misogyny is more subtle than that of other rappers (and rockers, and country singers, and so on), but it’s still misogyny. Instead of calling women names and physically and/or verbally mistreating them, he argues that they’re complicit in his manipulation of his celebrity to test drive women who strike his fancy. They all know what he’s about, right? So fuck ‘em and forget ‘em. It’s an old story, and Drake can’t be completely blamed for it, but considering the guy has built a career on his self-doubt and worries about his moral compass his inability to cop to his own bullshit is offensive. And for all that, Drake, who is rapping better than ever, is the least offensive thing on this record and the only reason to listen to it. 2 Chainz wouldn’t recognize a woman as a human being even if she kicked him in the nuts. Though I do encourage somebody to try.

Tony Lucca—“99 Problems”
#58

Justin Bieber—“Turn To You (Mother’s Day Dedication)”
#60
I’m having a hard time understanding the new, “mature” Justin Bieber. “Boyfriend” mixes dark, sensual music with some of the most naïve, unerotic lyrics ever heard, while this tribute to his mother is more reminiscent of southern rock murder ballads than a paean to a loving parent. He’s either mistaken sounding somber with sounding adult, or his much-vaunted precocious talent doesn’t extend to an understanding of what any particular piece of music means. That would go a long way toward explaining the emotional blankness of his singing.

Adam Levine & Tony Lucca—“Yesterday”
#68

Jermaine Paul—“I Believe I Can Fly”
#83

Christina Aguilera & Chris Mann—“The Prayer”
#85

Dierks Bentley—“5-1-5-0”
#94
A lot of people are impressed by Bentley—or at least they were impressed by “Home”—but I’m not one of them. He’s a better than average country rocker, but only slightly. Put him in a battle of the bands with Eric Church or Miranda Lambert, even Blake Shelton, and they’d wipe the floor with him before the second song. On a good night he might be able to take Justin Moore, but I wouldn’t count on it.

Usher featuring Rick Ross—“Lemme See”
#98
This is a step up from “Scream”, but nowhere near “Climax” (a tall order, I admit). The beat has a jumpy, eerie quality to it, but the song itself doesn’t work. Ross’s Trayvon Martin reference is too soon, and in some ways too little. Usher himself sounds, especially when he shows off his chest, as if he’s engaging in self-parody. That would be fine if it fit with the music, but it doesn’t. Maybe he hasn’t quite figured out all this electronic stuff.

Listen on Spotify

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