Blaire LeVoir—”Digital Kiss”
#106
The idea for the intro is stolen from Prince (not from a song, but from a segue between songs), the sound from David Guetta or RedOne or some other garish electro producer, and the theme of technologically-assisted passion from, uh, Gary Numan, if not Lost In Space. I would say the lyrics sounded like the fantasies of a sci-fi obsessed twelve-year-old if most twelve-year-olds didn’t show far more understanding of technology than LeVoir ever does. Sex, too.
Avril Lavigne—”Smile”
#114
There’s nothing inherently wrong with Lavigne making teenpop in her mid-twenties. She helped invent the current strain, after all, and many people before her have done the same, and many will after. All the same, this record is inexcusable. There have been lots of songs about women who love men who mistreat them, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard one that sounded as slick as a laminated Hallmark card before, or as clueless. She thinks it’s cute when he slips her roofies. Unhealthy at, or for, any age.
Ledisi—”Pieces Of Me”
#115
Ledisi is a respected jazz singer, but this is cocktail soul at best, and the theme song to a discussion show on the Oprah Winfrey Network at worst. If she were white, her phrasing of “Fo’ sho’” would be derided as minstrelsy. I’m not sure it isn’t.
Kellie Pickler—”Tough”
#119
Even when she was on American Idol I though Pickler had more talent than people gave her credit for, or that she even gave herself credit for, and I still do. Her phrasing, obviously modeled on Dolly Parton, is wonderful, and the song, though not great, isn’t bad either. But Pickler doesn’t seem interested in doing anything but entertain—maybe she doesn’t believe she’s capable of anything else—and her self-doubt show’s through even when she’s acting tough. The result is a record that sounds like it should be fun but never delivers, and that you never once believe.
Matt Nathanson—”Faster”
#124
This is fast, at least for adult-contemporary, and Nathanson’s sense of craft makes it bearable. But when I hear a guy who’s been in the business for nearly twenty years sing about his girl tasting like “sunshine and strawberry bubblegum”, I figure he’s a middling careerist who’s had a lucky fall into a decent hook. The blaring horn arrangement confirms it.