Great piece by Mike Barthel on the Miley Cyrus/Rockmafia video in support of Occupy Wall Street, which makes use of a remixed version of Cyrus’s “Liberty Walk”. Barthel is right in noting that’s there’s no reason for people to be surprised at this, or think that Cyrus is only cashing in. Cyrus may have played an innocent goodie-goodie on The Disney Channel, but that never meant she was one; most likely it was the opposite. Pop is so invested in generating personae, and reinforcing those personae through public events and appearances, press releases, video, and now tweets, that people are shocked when an artist breaks out and demonstrates other aspects of personality. If Lady GaGa were to appear in public in a demure dress, no hat, no wig, and average heels, people would be just as shocked as they are at Cyrus now.
There’s no reason Cyrus can’t be a democrat—jingoistic jinglemeister Toby Keith is—or even a progressive, and there’s no reason to believe that she doesn’t know what those words mean. The same can be said of many others. Nickelback has released a single that seems to be in support of Occupy, though by their music you would assume them to be the worst sort of redneck (Canadian division) reactionaries. Enrique Iglesius’s latest single mixes his usual lustful yearning with references to the It Gets Better project; does that mean we should question his Latin lover persona, at least in terms of which gender he directs his ardor towards? Why should we? It isn’t that difficult to believe that there are some things that are bigger than pop; why is it so hard to believe that even pop stars are aware of it?
B.o.B. featuring Lil Wayne—”Strange Clouds”
#7
B.o.B. has been putting so much energy into the pop side of his career that I’d swear this is the first time I’ve heard him rap. That can’t be true, but that’s the way it feels. He isn’t bad—good flow, some nice twists and turns both in the rhythm and the words—though more derivative of T.I. than I’d expect him to be. Wayne, meanwhile, sounds more alive all the time. His rap feels like it came off the top of his head for once, and while it isn’t brilliant, he seems to be regathering his strengths. Not a moment too soon, either.
Bruno Mars—”It Will Rain”
#28
Somewhere under the overkill of fuzzy synths and staggered beats you’ll find a very good song with sharp lyrics and a distinct Motown feel. I’d love to hear a slightly more uptempo, sparsely arranged version. In the meantime, we’ll just need to listen past an arrangement dictated more by it’s place on the latest Twilight soundtrack than the song itself.
Nickelback—”When We Stand Together”
#48
Of course it’s awful, it’s Nickelback. But consider this for a moment: these guys are so slow at what they do—their new album will be only their third since 2003—that this song must have been written long before the Occupy protests or maybe even the Arab Spring. Yet here it is, right on time. Putting its laughable aesthetics aside, it’s exactly what it should be for this moment in time. If these lumbering Canadians could feel this coming, possibly months ago, and sympathize, it may be a lot bigger than anybody thinks. A hell of a lot bigger.
T-Pain featuring Wiz Khalifa and Lily Allen—”5 O’Clock”
#62
Adding soul raps to a Lily Allen track is a brilliant idea, but this goes on too long, and except for the organ that weaves it’s way through the track like T-Pain’s conscience, doesn’t add much. It also, of course, places the emphasis of the song on Allen’s physical, rather than emotional needs, and turns her into a nagging, if sexy, bitch. I’m not saying it does total disservice to Allen’s song, but it puts the weight on the least interesting aspect. And Wiz Khalifa only makes it worse.
Glee Cast—”Somewhere”
#75
Lloyd featuring Andre 3000 & Lil Wayne—”Dedication To My Ex (Miss That)”
#81
I wish this wasn’t such an obvious take off from Cee Lo’s “Fuck You”, not just in terms of lyrical content but in sound, as well. It’s very good, and Andre 3000 is great, but the imitative quality and the shallowness of it can’t be avoided. “Fuck You” was great because Bruno Mars and Cee Lo live and breath retro soul; Lloyd is just following in their footsteps, not forging a path of his own. That may be his whole problem: as much as I’ve enjoyed his music, I still have no idea who Lloyd is.
Jason DeRulo—”Fight For You”
#83
I thought retro-sampling had hit bottom with Gym Class Heroes’ borrowings from Supertramp, but it’s impossible to underestimate the crassness of pop culture. Just when I thought DeRulo might be worth listening to, he comes up with this. I realize that sampling the African chants from “Wanna Be Starting Something” is cliche, but Toto is not an adequate replacement. Not at all. What could possibly be next and/or worse? Pablo Cruise?
Blink 182—”After Midnight”
#88
These guys have matured enough that they don’t ruin their mediocre song with meaningless histrionics, and Travis Barker is a damn good drummer. It’s still a mediocre song, though, sung by very mediocre singers.
Luke Bryan—”I Don’t Want This Night to End”
#90
I really enjoy the way the melody of this flows and changes pace as it goes along, creating a romantic atmosphere all on its own. Which is good, because the arrangement, the vocals, and the lyrics do nothing to add to the feeling.
Zac Brown Band—”Keep Me In Mind”
#99
Brown is a one-man 70′s retro movement. So far he’s focused on the laid back sound of Jimmy Buffet and the somnambulist crooning of James Taylor, but here he ups the tempo and the tension by recreating the muzak-americana of the pre-Michael McDonald Doobie Brothers. All he has to do now is tour with Fleet Foxes and take over the world by putting it to sleep.
China Anne McClain—”Calling All the Monsters”
#100
Leave it to Disney to turn Britney’s Spear’s current sound into family-safe Halloween music. They do it very well, too. This is brighter and snappier than Spear’s has been in a while, and though the voices are young, this is never corny or cheesy. It’s a good, catchy, electro-influenced dance track. Not to mention that it cuts Lady Gaga off at the pass, keeping her from releasing a seasonal record along the same lines.
Maroon 5 featuring Christina Aguilera—”Moves Like Jagger”, #8
Javier Colon—”Fix You”, #52
Dia Frampton, “Losing My Religion”, #54
Vicci Martinez—”Dog Days Are Over”, #68
Xenia—”The Man Who Can’t Be Moved”, #92
Pitbull featuring T-Pain & Sean Paul—”Shake Senora”
#69
This record doesn’t sound like a good fit for anyone involved—too brazen and obvious for T-Pain, but, if anything, too subtle for Pitbull, who’s better at leering and lustful growling than the lightness of touch that would be required to make this work. As for Sean Paul, only his biggest fans would notice that he’s here. It doesn’t even work as parody. All they’ve done is overemphasize what the song is already about, and not in a way that points out anything interesting. I do like Pitbull comparing booty, which reminds me of “My Gal Is Red Hot”, but the rest is a disaster.
Selena Gomez & the Scene—”Love You Like a Love Song”
#72
One of the things I love about the production team Rockmafia is their belief in traditional pop form and structure. They’re well aware of the possibilities of emotional tension and release inherent in verse-chorus-verse form, and they do their best to take advantage of it while keeping the music itself as simple and catchy as possible. Sometimes the results sound too simple and automatic, as they do on the chorus here. But it also helps them to create classic pop moments like the first verse, as perfect a melding of music, mood, lyric, and performance as you’ll ever hear. If the rest of the song came close to it, this would be a great record. As it is, it’s only a very good one. Not that that isn’t achievement enough.
Bella Thorne & Zendaya—”Watch Me”
#95
What’s most fascinating about this Disney-pop variation on Ke$ha is how well it works. It isn’t as brash as Ke$ha—the music is more bass heavy, and of course the “sleazy” is removed—but otherwise it would be difficult to tell the two apart. It isn’t that Ke$ha’s music is easy to imitate, but that it’s tapped into a generation’s universal mood of directionless, hyped-up energy and restlessness that, oddly enough, Disney has helped to promote and capitalize on, and maybe even helped to create. The Disney tweens of five years ago are the Ke$ha, Katy Perry, and GaGa and Glee fans of today, and it’s a sign of Disney’s marketing savvy that they’re trying to keep up with them. I don’t think they are, quite, since it’s all out of their control now, but this is a good record nonetheless, and they deserve credit for trying.
Train—”Save Me, San Francisco”
#98
The Loggins and Messina of their era, and if they’re not as irritating as, say, Rascal Flatts, it’s only because their tunes are catchier and clever self-deprecation is a part of their act. They’re just as clueless, though. They can’t even get a song about their hometown right. Except for a few obvious lyrical references, nothing about this record sounds like San Francisco. What it sounds like, instead, is an above average Rolling Stones cover band, and considering the Stone’s history in the bay area, is that really the vibe you want to go for?
Brantley Gilbert—”Country Must Be Country Wide”
#100
True enough, but does that mean it has to be heavy metal, too?
Colbie Caillat—”Brighter Than the Sun”
#102
I’ve developed a certain respect for Caillat. Her craftsmanship is impressive, even if a lot of it is borrowed from her dad, and though her romantic optimism often sounds cloying, it also sounds as if she believes it. On this record, though, she pushes too far. The opening almost sounds like rock and roll, but after that it devolves into cute rhythm effects, choral background vocals and the usual easy-listening cliches. The Bob Marley reference is particularly irritating. She’s showing off; not a good idea when your forte is laid back romanticism.
The Lonely Island featuring Justin Timberlake and Lady GaGa—”3-Way (The Golden Rule)”
#103
The quality of Samberg’s material seems to depend almost entirely on the quality of the musicians he works with. Timberlake adds a level of sophistication that seems beyond him, and GaGa’s braindead “Wow!” almost saves the helicopter dick joke. All the same, this is only mildly funny; it’s certainly a step up from “Jack Sparrow”, but still not as good as “I’m On a Boat”, not to mention “Dick In a Box”.
Andy Grammer—”Keep Your Head Up”
#108
It figured there’d be a male version of Natasha Bedingfield sooner or later. Figured he’d be worse, too. But this much worse?
Matthew Morrison—”Still Got Tonight”
#124
One thing you can say for Glee, they give their non-singers decent material.
Cee Lo Green—”Bright Lights, Bigger City”
#125
Cee Lo is a talent, but he’s a slave of his material. When it’s great, like “Crazy” or “Fuck You”, then he’s great. When it’s moderate, like this, then he’s moderate. This is a good song, and Cee Lo does a good job of changing up the usual party weekend cliches, but if it wasn’t for the bassline, lifted whole from “Beat It”, I’m not sure I’d pay attention long enough to notice.
Scotty McCreery—”I Love You This Big”
#11
Lauren Alaina—”Like My Mother Does”
#20
At first listen it seems as if the latest American Idol survivors have been granted better material than previous winners. But even though these songs are more specific in detail and less generic in overall tone, they’re still terrible, with lyrics that make you gasp in awe at their utter inanity. McCreery and Alaina make the best of it and deliver what they think is expected of them, but McCreery’s voice lacks seasoning—he needs experience: alcohol, sex, even more religion—while Alaina’s attempts to bend her song to her will result in a lot of growling and screaming and only make things worse. They’ll both do better. Whether either of them has the talent or brains to do much better is still an open question.
Glee Cast
“Light Up the World”, #33
“Pretending”, #40
“For Good”, #58
“I Love New York/New York, New York”, #81
“As Long As You’re There”, #93
Lady GaGa
“You and I”, #36
“Marry the Night”, #79
The pleasure I take in Born This Way is largely a matter of sonics and structure. That’s not a putdown. When you create something that for the most part is collage and pastiche, both musically and lyrically, sonics and structure are what make the difference between bland imitation and creating something new, and GaGa gets them right every single time. And then she boosts them. The drums and guitar on “You and I” may owe their inspiration to Queen, but they outstrip and outboom anything that band ever did, and the fact that they’re tied to a song that borrows from highway rock and roll and even country and western puts it in a league of its own. “Marry The Night”, meanwhile, is more Springsteen-inspired disco, with a coda beamed in from a mid-90s rave. I still have my doubts about her lyrics, which are often blander than they need to be, and I don’t think she’s making anything truly new out of her sources, but her merger of hard rock with disco diva anthems (which is what that ridiculous cover photo is all about, in case you were wondering) is wondrous, even if it ultimately doesn’t lead anywhere. Don’t think of it as something new, but as a well-earned celebration of a greatness we may have missed at the time.
Beyonce—”1+1″
#57
I have my doubts about Beyonce’s soul moves, especially her high notes and the dynamics that accompany them, but thematically this is a breakthrough, the first Beyonce song about a relationship I’ve heard in which she isn’t either asserting her iron-willed dominance or making like a supplicant to her godlike man. That see-sawing from one extreme to another was getting tiresome, and this is a welcome relief. I bet it’s a relief to Jay-Z, too.
Lil Wayne—”How To Love”
#69
I don’t think it’s the softness of sound that has caused so many people to write this song off. Sentimentality is as much a part of rap as any other kind of music, and if anyone has earned the right to a little mellow down time it’s Lil Wayne. What probably bothers hardcore rap fans more is the sense of empathy the song is based on. It isn’t really a love song, and it certainly isn’t a sex song. Instead, it’s a real attempt to understand where this woman is coming from and what she’s feeling, something more along the lines of Prince’s “I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man” (even though the situation appears to be completely different) than your standard lover man rap. In other words, thematically it’s as far from the mainstream of rap as Wayne’s phrasing and twisting trains of thought have always been. Like the pre-prison “I’m Single”, it’s a record by someone who’s trying to sort out the world in all it’s aspects, not just as it relates to his place, position, and pleasure. Musically, Wayne still isn’t sure what to make of these ideas, so he falls too readily into cliche, but if he should ever figure it out, or find a collaborator who has, then watch out: he may well remake rap yet again.
Reeve Carney featuring Bono & The Edge—”Rise Above 1″
#74
Not sure exactly what I expected a Broadway soundtrack written by Bono and The Edge to sound like, but I wasn’t expecting standard-issue U2, that’s for sure. Way to stretch your stylistic limits, guys. As for Reeve Carney, his Bono imitation is so exact I can only assume he thinks of Spiderman as a warm-up for that more lucrative U2 biopic that’s bound to appear sooner or later. Either that or he has a great future in tribute bands.
Mac Miller—”Donald Trump”
#80
The white version of Wiz Khalifa, or Waka Flocka Flame, or maybe even Big Sean. How did we stand the wait?
Kenny Chesney featuring Grace Potter—”You and Tequila”
#92
Strong, steady, and never overdone, this is as good as Chesney is ever going to get. With Grace Potter playing Emmylou Harris, he almost sounds human. There’s still something that doesn’t come across, though, and the stiff perfectionism of this record keeps it from classic territory. Damn close, though.
Lady GaGa—”Hair”
#12
An odd metaphor coming from a woman who is generally seen either in wigs or with hair coiffed and dyed to within an inch of it’s life; does anyone know what GaGa’s real hair even looks like? But despite the cognitive dissonance and the unfortunate echoes of David Crosby, this is a grand piece of Springsteen-influenced disco, the kind of music that sounds great not just on the dancefloor but out on the open road. I’m particularly fond of the bridge, where GaGa’s phrasing makes her sound appropriately callow and naive. It may be the most human moment she’s ever managed.
Young Jeezy featuring Lil Wayne—”Ballin’”
#57
Jeezy’s voice holds your attention, but he works in a style that was half-dead even when he started out five years ago, and has nothing to add to it. Neither does Lil Wayne.
Nicole Scherzinger featuring 50 Cent—”Right There”
#77
Not terrible, which is a surprise considering how lazy it sounds. The music isn’t bad, but the rhyme scheme consists of repeating the same word at the end of each line, an effect almost as flattening as 50 Cents’ rap. He long ago said he had no real interest in making music anymore, and this proves it. Scherzinger sounds as anonymous as ever, and you can’t help but wonder if this would even have been released if it wasn’t for her X Factor gig.
DJ Khaled featuring Drake, Rick Ross & Lil Wayne—”I’m On One”
#78
A stylistic changeup from Khaled, which would be interesting if he was capable of making good music, but he isn’t, so we’re left with the lineup. Rick Ross is his usual monotonous self, and Lil Wayne indulges in hit-and-miss word games: good and bad puns (“I’m a made nigga, I should dust something”) with the occasional meaningful line. As for Drake, he may be serious in his doubts about the rap game, and even in his self-criticism, but he lies so consistantly about how hard his life is I find it impossible to trust him even (especially) when he sounds sincere. His hypocrisy is fascinating, though, as is his resistance to flow. Being the snobbish cad that he is, he seems to consider it beneath him.
Jason DeRulo—”Don’t Wanna Go Home”
#92
Yet another lift from “Day-O”, this one even more obvious than Lil Wayne’s. Otherwise, this is as anonymous as most of DeRulo’s previous records. If it weren’t for that borrowed hook, it would have no melody at all.
Lady Gaga—”The Edge of Glory”
#3
Everything I’ve read about this record points out the Springsteen influence (how could it not with Clarence Clemons’ presence?) but I’ve yet to see anyone mention the band who are an equal influence on the sound of this record: Journey. Which is just another way of saying that though I’m impressed by GaGa’s talent, I have my doubts about the sources she taps for her highly skilled, perhaps even meaningful pastiches. Golden-era Madonna is one thing, and maybe even Elton John, but I have my doubts about Abba and Journey, and I even have doubts about Clarence Clemons, at least in this case. Like too many of the records that this is modeled, and admittedly improves, upon, the sax solo sounds stuck in because it’s expected, not becasue it fits. What saves her is the fact that she turns the meaning of the music she’s imitating on its head: what once seemed an echo of the narcisstic, grab it while you can, Reagan ’80s, is now used to promote individuality, tolerance, and freedom of expression. Of course, that’s how the ’80s started, too.
Enrique Iglesias with Usher featuring Lil Wayne—”Dirty Dancer”
#18
Better in many ways than Iglesias’ previous records, but except for Lil Wayne it still lacks in personality. Not that machine tooled dance music is a bad thing, and this is better than most, but I can only just tell Iglesias and Usher apart. But I admit I’m not trying very hard.
Glee Cast
“Rolling In the Deep”, #29
“Friday”, #34
“Jar Of Hearts”, #49
“Isn’t She Lovely”, #65
“I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend to Dance With You”, #72
“Dancing Queen”, #74
Steven Tyler—”(It) Feels So Good”
#35
Steven Tyler – Aerosmith = John Cougar Mellancamp + vocal range.
Rick Ross featuring Lil Wayne—”9 Piece”
#61
The problem isn’t the track, and it certainly isn’t Lil Wayne, though his rap is nothing special. It’s Ross, and his inability to inject any sort of meaningful emotion or subtlety into his voice. It isn’t exactly a monotone, but it’s damn close, and since he repeats himself a lot, it gets boring before he finishes the first chorus.
The Lonely Island featuring Michael Bolton—”Jack Sparrow”
#69
Like most comedy records, this is funny the first time through and becomes progressively more tired each time after that. Which only makes you notice how obvious and incompetent some of it is (stupidest move: they actually stoop to explaining the joke at the end of the record). If I had ever cared about Michael Bolton one way or the other I might be impressed by his willingness to make fun of himself, but I never did so I’m not. Besides, there’s nothing in the world more hackneyed and worn out at this point in time than Forrest Gump and Scarface jokes. This is the modern equivalent of the borscht belt schtick that comics like George Carlin and Richard Pryor revolted against in the ’60s. Let’s hope someone new comes along and kills this zombie comedy as soon as possible.
Jordin Sparks—”I Am Woman”
#82
A word of advice to all would-be divas: when it comes time to record your feminist anthem, do not, repeat, do not ask Ryan Fucking Tedder to write it for you. It’s one thing to suggest, as Beyonce and Lady GaGa do, that glamor and high fashion are symbols of feminine strength and tools of feminine power; it’s something else altogether to imply that women were put on earth to wear stiletto heels.
Luke Bryan—”Country Girl (Shake It For Me)”
#22
The intro, especially that throbbing guitar line, shakes pretty well, but after that it’s all by rote. If Bryan actually demonstrated some honest lust, his sexism might be forgivable, but instead he goes on automatic and gets progressively duller.
Beyonce—”Run the World (Girls)”
#33
Based on a Major Lazer sample (aka Diplo and Switch), this is essentially an M.I.A. track with all the third-world references and atmosphere removed, and that loss of texture makes a huge difference. The bare bones sound is as bald and uninteresting as Beyonce’s well-meant lecture on sexual politics. Since this song makes explicit what has been implicit in almost every record she’s made as a solo artist, I assume Beyonce is either running out of patience or running out of ideas, probably both. Either way she’s beating us over the head with a message that was more powerful when it was partially hidden and presented in dramatic terms. “Irreplaceable” is a far greater feminist work than this preachy bore.
Adele—”Turning Tables”
#63
This woman knows how to sing (though not this time), but she doesn’t know how to write a song (or arrange one). When the strings come in you realize her real stock in trade is melodrama, not emotion.
Bridget Mendler
“Breakthrough”, #88
“Somebody”, #89
Two more songs from the Lemonade Mouth soundtrack, and though neither is as good as “Determinate” (which is quickly turning into my favorite pop song of the year), both are far better than one would expect from Disney. It would be easy to say that this is simply Disney doing a better job of keeping up with pop trends than they have in the past, but the fact is that in the last few years it’s pop that has been moving closer to Disney rather than the opposite. Now that Glee has taken over the High School Musical audience (who are, after all, five years older) and Nickelodeon is chasing the latest tweeners, Disney moves on to high school pop-rock, tracking close behind Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, and Avril Lavigne, and downplaying the showtune cheeriness that spoiled so much of their earlier music. It’s still derivative as hell, but it’s also right on track with the times. And catchy. Don’t forget catchy.
Jennifer Lopez—”Papi”
#99
Though there’s nothing to indicate it on the credits, this sounds like something Lady GaGa may have cooked up for a b-side and then decided to give away instead. With GaGa singing, this might stand a chance to be both sexy and defiant. Lopez, instead, sounds cheerfully submissive to her man—which is her idea of being sexy—and invites every other woman in the world to join her in her self-degradation. She should ask Luke Bryan to appear in the video—he’d feel right at home.
Lady Gaga—”Judas”
#10
I was preparing a long critique of this record, but after another listen and a more concentrated perusal of the lyrics I decided it wasn’t worth the trouble. “Judas” is such a confused mess that whatever message Gaga is trying to get across is lost in the rehashed disco, rehashed Abba, and rehashed “Bad Romance”. Whether she seized upon the idea of Judas as symbol or allegory (of what?), or as justification (of whose sins?) is impossible to tell (I lean toward Judas representing fame, or maybe the record industry, but the song itself doesn’t provide any clues). She may well be talking to herself more than anybody else, and though her moral confusion is interesting up to a point, it isn’t what I would call fascinating. Gaga may be an instinctual genius, and at the artistic and intellectual level she’s achieved a sort of middlebrow perfection, but if she wants to go any higher—and she does—she’s going to need to think things out a little more, and I’m not sure she’s capable of that.
Kelly Rowland featuring Lil Wayne—”Motivation”
#55
Sex is an everyday feature on the pop charts, but true eroticism is rare. Soul crooners like Ne-yo and Lloyd come close, but you’d have to go much further back to find anything comparable to this, which is guaranteed to make you either melt into a puddle or stand up at attention, depending on your gender/preference. Lil Wayne is in top form, keeping his rap focused and throwing in some subtle cunnilingus references. For the most part, though, this record is all Rowland’s, and after various miscues and less than stellar guest appearances since the demise of Destiny’s Child, she deserves it.
Game featuring Lil Wayne—”Red Nation”
#62
So Lil Wayne gets to appear on both the best and the worst debuts of the week. Can’t say he’s hasn’t got all his bases covered.
Chris Brown—”She Ain’t You”
#90
With it’s sample from “Human Nature” this is being pegged as a Michael Jackson tribute, which makes me wonder why Brown sounds so much like Stevie Wonder on the first verse. Whatever the case, this is well below even Brown’s recent output, much less his models. Sounds a lot like the junk he put out as a teenager.
Bridgit Mendler—”Determinate”
#94
Just when it looked like Disney was going to allow Nickelodeon to claim the tween-pop crown, they come roaring back with new singers, a relatively new production team (TWIN, a pair of Swedes who have worked together for nearly a decade without having any big hits), and a sound that is both more mature and overtly powerful than much of the Disney pop that preceded it. Even the rap is OK, or at least not embarrassing. And “determinate” itself seems such a perfect pop term I’m surprised it hasn’t been used before.
Jake Owen—”Barefoot Blue Jean Night”
#96
The production is a surprise, at least for a country record, but the song itself isn’t. No doubt the arrangement is intended to make up for that, though it may also be intended to cover up the relative weakness of Owen’s voice, which can be expressive but isn’t as rich as many of his contemporaries. It doesn’t quite work, but I appreciate the experimentation.
Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull—”On the Floor”
#9
Anyone with any sense knows why this debuted in the top ten. Lopez’s presence on American Idol may, in fact, be the only reason this record was made at all. Some people have already mentioned the irony involved in Lopez coaching singers when she doesn’t have much of a voice herself, but weak vocals are the least of this record’s problems, which is such a blatant grab-bag of current dance floor trends that even Pitbull sounds a little unsure of it. You can’t say Lopez and her producer, RedOne, aren’t up-to-date, but ripping off a track as recognizable as “Stereo Love” when it’s just peaked on the charts is about as daring as this record gets. For anyone who may have wondered whether it was RedOne or Lady Gaga who provided the creative firepower on The Fame, this should answer your questions quite nicely.
Glee Cast
“Don’t You Want Me”, #49
“Blame It (On the Alcohol)”, #55
“Tik Tok”, #61
Back to normal.
Wiz Khalifa featuring Too $hort—”On My Level”
#52
Not a terrible track, but the presence of Too $hort makes me question Khalifa’s judgement. Too $hort is now too old to indulge in stimulants himself, so instead he talks about getting girls loaded so he can have his way with them. What a guy. Is this why some people are raving about Khalifa? Because he’s bringing back “real”, stupidly sexist hip-hop? As if it ever went away.
Adele
“Someone Like You”, #65
“Set Fire To the Rain”, #88
Adele has a voice—when she isn’t blasting like an air raid siren she manages to be both growly and vulnerable, with a touch of hysteria thrown in for good measure—but these are terrible songs, if they can even be graced with the designation of song at all. They’re set pieces for her voice; the lyrical blather serves as nothing but an indicator of what she’s getting so upset about. She’s young yet, so maybe she’ll learn, and when she gets around to making 35 she may even have something to say. But since her sales are encouraging her in the wrong direction, I don’t hold out much hope.
Big Time Rush featuring Snoop Dogg—”Boyfriend”
#79
Snoop teaming up with this Nickelodeon-sponsored boy band has a lot of people shaking their heads, but other than their choice of words and their preferred stimulants (Big Time Rush are high on life, you see), I don’t see much difference. Both have fairly shallow ideas about love and romance, one the result of inexperience, the other the result of too much experience. Snoop, of course, is super cool while BTR gush, but while BTR sees nothing but the stars in their own eyes, Snoop sees nothing but Gucci bags and the size of her thighs. Since they’re both looking for the wrong things, why shouldn’t they search together?
Mike Posner featuring Lil Wayne—”Bow Chicka Wow Wow”
#82 Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/28/11
DJ Khaled featuring Rick Ross, Plies, Lil Wayne & T-Pain—”Welcome To My Hood”
#90 Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/28/11
Kirk Franklin—”I Smile”
#97
I’d never heard of Franklin before this, and since he doesn’t actually sing on this track, I thought he was some sort of Prosperity Gospel preacher. But he has a long history on the gospel circuit and seems to be the real thing, though you’d never know it by listening to this happy jingle for Jesus. Not that it blatantly advertises itself as such: for the most part it’s a positivity anthem with a few religious references thrown in. It’s essentially all chorus, and though it seems friendly enough at first, it gets cloying fast, and then it goes on and on and doesn’t leave you alone, like a cheerful bus stop proselytizer who doesn’t recognize the fine line between being friendly and being an irritant. Franklin actually starts out irritating by dedicating the song to “depression, recession, and unemployment”, no doubt for opening desperate people’s hearts to the message of the church. Which is one of the reasons I, and many others, hate the church to begin with.
