Posts Tagged ‘Ludacris’

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New this week—3/7/10

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

Ludacris featuring Nicki Minaj—”My Chick Bad”
#46
Notable mainly for containing the first Tiger Woods joke to make the Hot 100. When Ludacris is doing his rapid fire spitting over something loud and boisterous, his tastelessness goes down fairly easy. When he slows himself down like this, his crudity—not just in his humor, but in his flow—shines through.

Taio Cruz featuring Ludacris—”Break Your Heart”
#53
Already a number one in the UK (and now in the US), and it’s easy to see why. The rough formula appears to be a mix of Akon and Chris Brown over a euro-techno beat, with the lilting tenor vocals that are so popular right now (i.e. B.O.B, Jay-Z-s “Forever Young”, anything by Drake). Ludacris adds nothing, but he doesn’t detract either. In commercial pop terms, it’s a classic. It’s sheer fluff (the music has nothing whatever to do with the lyrical message of the song), but it goes down easy, catchy enough to get your attention, short enough that you’ll want to hear it again once it does, and after a third listen it will be playing in your head forever. And when it does finally fade away, there’ll be something just like it to replace it with.

Kris Allen—”Let It Be”
#63
I suppose I could give Allen points for trying to make something new out of this warhorse, but removing the melody is not the way to go about it. I know everyone’s tired of hearing it, but there is something majestic, yet humble, about that tune, and without it the lyrics are close to meaningless. Not that anyone notices what “Let It Be” is about anymore, anyway. Why else would they use a song about peaceful resignation as a call to action?

Trey Songz—”Neighbors Know My Name”
#88
I tend to think of this as a follow-up to J. Holliday’s “Bed” or Jeremih’s “Birthday Sex”, but it’s more polished, and its humor is more intentional (I think) than those two. It’s also funnier—and sexier. If you never thought the day would come that you’d laugh at a soul singer crooning the word “headboard”, you were wrong.

Matisyahu—”One Day”
#90
Well-meaning pap, and limp well-meaning pap, at that. Produced by the same team who created B.O.B.’s “Nothin’ On You”, who turn on the bland this time around, and co-written by Akon, who’s trying to collect as many well-meaning karma points as he can before his next album comes out. But the real weakness is the singer, who has all the technical gifts and none of the force or spirit of the Jamaican dancehall singers he imitates so assiduously (Barrington Levy would eat this guy for breakfast). Though I hesitate to suggest it, this comes perilously close, in my mind, to minstrelsy.

Yo Gotti featuring Lil Wayne—”Women Lie, Men Lie”
#93
Another attempt to recreate that “A Milli” magic with an endlessly repeating, weird-sounding vocal hook. Almost works, too. But this is the only record I can think of where Lil Wayne simply disappears from memory once the track is over. The best joke is when Gotti starts exaggerating his list of possessions—he doesn’t sound that different from most other rappers. Of course, I always assume they’re lying, anyway; it’s hardly necessary to drive the point home.

Joe Nichols—”Gimmie That Girl”
#98
This is catchy enough and fiery enough near the end that it could almost be mistaken for some alt-country track from the early 80s. Once you hear that Moore likes his woman barefoot and in the kitchen, though, you’ll know you’re still in good-ol’ traditional Nashville (where the early 80s is about as far into alt-country as anyone cares to go). Thank the Lord for small favors: at least she’s not pregnant (yet).

Justin Moore—”Backwoods”
#100
Having covered the small town USA cliches on, er, “Small Town USA”, Moore heads out to the backwoods for another hootin’ hollerin’ mess o’ stuff you’ve already heard too many times before. I assume “I Love My Wife and Kids”, “Have I Told You About My Personal Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ (Who Doesn’t Mind If I Get Rowdy Once In a While)?”, and a cover of “America, Fuck Yeah!” are just around the corner.

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New this week—2/28/10

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Christopher Wilde
“Hero”, #57
“StarStruck” #77
“Something About the Sunshine” (with Anna Margaret), #81
Christopher Wilde, in case you’re not a connoiseur of the Disney Channel, is the name of the fictional teen heart-throb in Disney’s latest made-for-TV tweener extravaganza, StarStruck. The actor who does the singing here is Sterling Knight, who the folks at Disney are no doubt hoping will become a real heart-throb. As Disney soundtracks go, these three songs are above average, less cutesy than the Hannah Montana or High School Musical numbers, without all the cloying lyrical uplift. They’re also more mature. “StarStruck” includes a line about girls who want to take Christopher out on a date and make him holler, which in the Disney universe is as close as you can get to an NC-17 rating. Disney is obviously beginning to realize that the audience for its teen fantasies is older than it was when High School Musical debuted four years ago. Those tweeners are into their mid- to late-teens now, and they want a little romance, and even a suggestion of sex, with their song and dance. But even though these are more adult than the standard Disney fare, they’re also not up to the best of the non-soundtrack material that Disney artists like Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Aly & AJ have put out the last couple of years. “Starstruck” moves along nicely, but it has nothing new to say about fame (Lady GaGa would seem to have a lock on that theme at the moment), and though I like the bouncy/stretchy sound effects on “Something About the Sunshine”, it’s obvious they’re there to hide its other weaknesses. So I’ll give Disney an A for effort and for upping their game, but only a B for the results.

k.d. lang—”Hallelujah (Vancouver Winter 2010 Version)”
#61
A few weeks ago I was complaining about Justin Timberlake’s attempt to recontextualize this song after the earthquake in Haiti. But this, performed by Lang at the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics (and what a celebratory piece of work it is!) is even worse. Verse by verse, Lang drains every ounce of meaning out of the song, and then bathes the final chorus in one of the most banal string arrangements I’ve ever heard. Even at the peak of her popularity I thought Lang was overrated, but I never thought she’d get as bad this.

DJ Khaled featuring T-Pain, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg & Rick Ross—”All I Do Is Win”
#64
The frustrating thing about DJ Khaled (aside from his fuzzy, overloaded, melodramatic beats) is that he’s a one-idea man. That doesn’t need to be a detriment—a lot of DJs have made great records with less than an idea—but Khaled’s depends entirely on the guests he finagles into rapping on his productions. The result is an often irritating variation in quality, not just from record to record, but within each record itself. In this case, he gets a mediocre but passable hook from T-Pain, a slightly above-average rap from Ludacris, and an unintelligible, below-average rap from Rick Ross. Then, just as you’re getting ready for the wind-down of another tepid Khaled production, Snoop Dogg steps up to the mike, and in four lines blows a hole in the middle of the record. I’m not familiar enough with Snoop’s stuff to know whether he’s used these lines before—all I know is they’re better than anything else I’ve heard Snoop come up with, and just about any other rapper I can think of, as well. It’s not just a matter of the shock of Snoop’s laid-back style compared to the others’, either, because every time I listen to this record that verse seems even more powerful, more portentous, more menacing. The only thing I can compare it to is Lil Wayne’s rap on Khaled’s “We’re Takin’ Over” a couple of years ago. Exactly why Khaled’s productions should be so inspirational to these guys I have no idea. Maybe there’s more to those beats than I’m picking up on.

Usher—”There Goes My Baby”
#71
The best thing Usher has done in years (he appears to have been listening to a lot of Ne-Yo and Maxwell), but still far short of whatever mark he’s aiming for. Whoever or whatever made him decide to cut short the middle-eight, which would have brought the song to a higher level, should be booted out of his entourage, or his head, as quickly as possible.

3Oh!3 featuring Neon Hitch—”Follow Me Down”
#89
You knew once they stopped being offensive they’d be boring, right?

Mariah Carey featuring Nicki Minaj—”Up Out My Face”
#100
Over the last few years Carey has been making the best music of her career (not a great leap, I know)—just in time for her audience to dry up and everyone under the age of 25 to start ignoring her. Judging by this record, which is only slightly above average but which she obviously had a great time making, and by reports of her recent concert appearances, she doesn’t really care. Good for her. That’s the sort of attitude that could make her even better.

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New this week—1/31/10

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Today Was a Fairytale”
#2
As songwriting, this is rehash; Swift has gone over the same ground many times before, though this pares the idea down to its basics in an appealing way. The real appeal, though, lies in the fact that, even more than the bonus tracks on the deluxe edition of Fearless, this clears away the production clutter that was that album’s greatest weakness. With every record Swift seems to have a clearer idea of what she’s aiming at and how best to attain it. She may be not just the biggest pop star of the moment, but also the smartest.

Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris—”Baby”
#5
Catchy and sweet, and even Ludacris keeps it clean (though it’s impossible for him to sound as innocent as Bieber does). Bieber is still doing a young Michael Jackson imitation and little else, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially with hooks as catchy as this.

Jay-Z, Bono, The Edge & Rihanna—”Stranded (Haiti Mon Amour)”
#16
Despite Jay-Z’s confused attempt at making sense of tragedy and Bono’s meaningless plea for volunteers (who would only confuse things by this point) this is better than anyone had a right to expect. Jay keeps the song at groundlevel by emphasizing specific realities and personal loss, while Bono and Rihanna soar on the chorus. Jay-Z’s and Bono’s egos are incapable of not pushing their own agendas, but the overall effect manages to cancel both out. One of the few benefit records I’ve heard that may be worth listening to after the fact.

Justin Timberlake & Matt Morris featuring Charlie Sexton—”Hallelujah”
#48
This performance has a lot to recommend it, but I still find it irritating that “Hallelujah” has become the go-to song for anyone who wants to sound seriously spiritual and sincere, the same role previously played by “Amazing Grace” and “People Get Ready”. The problem is that “Hallelujah” isn’t really about spirituality so much as it uses spiritual imagery and Biblical references—David and Bathsheba, Samson and Delilah—as metaphors for the irresistible, baffling powers of love and lust. Cohen was singing about love and lust and music as acts of God, but not the kind of acts, like Haiti, to which that phrase normally refers. He wasn’t channeling the Book of Job, he was channeling The Song of Solomon. Timberlake and Morris sing beautifully—I especially like the way their voices seem to break and strain as they reach for the final notes, as if singing “hallelujah” in these circumstance was both the hardest and most important thing one could do—but the song doesn’t mean what they try to make it mean, and in this context it’s confusing more than anything else.

Lady Antebellum—”Our Kind of Love”
#80
Better than the last two singles-of-the-week, not as good as the first two, which adds up to mediocre.

Rihanna—”Redemption Song”
#81
Rihanna has a voice, and she wisely keeps this rough and tries her best to focus on the emotion, but she isn’t much of a singer, and the song is beyond her. It would be unfair to compare her to Marley, and this is a hard song to sing under any circumstances, much less under the time constraints she was working with here, but this sounds unsure and amateurish. And the background, except for the guitar part lifted largely from Marley’s original, is pure mush.

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New this week—12/20/09

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Ludacris—”How Low”
#13
Since Ludacris announced his intention to make more serious records a couple of years back, things have shifted in the pop world. The recession created an audience that wanted anything other than the serious, and Ludacris wisely reverts to his old party persona. He does this, ironically enough, by sampling the most serious of all rap groups, Public Enemy, and making a record more reminiscent of Soulja Boy than anything he’s done before. The result is as silly as you might expect, but not in a particularly entertaining way, and it isn’t funny at all. Maybe that “serious” move was just a sign that he’d run out of ideas and/or jokes.

Glee Cast
“My Life Would Suck Without You”, #51
“Don’t Rain On My Parade”, #53
“You Can’t Always Get What You Want”, #71
“And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going”, #94
The songs from the final episode sum up quite nicely everything that’s wrong with Glee as music: bad karaoke (“My Life”); bad Broadway impersonations (“Parade”); bad, meaningless rock covers (apparently no one involved with this show knows what “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” is actually about—why did they even bother with the verses?); and bad, histrionic versions of overrated pseudo-soul screamfests. The world has until April to wise up, but I’m not holding my breath on that one.

Lil Wayne—”On Fire”
#62
Anyone who doubts that rap, if not dead, is at least at a turning point, should give this record a listen. It’s not just that it’s bad (though it surely is), but that it encapsulates a moment of confusion amongst even the greatest rappers about what to do next. Based on this, Lil Wayne’s rock album is gearing up to be the greatest piece of career suicide since Kelly Clarkson’s My December, except apparently nobody has the nerve to tell Wayne it’s a mistake. It’s not surprising that he’d take a downward step—after the creative burst that culminated in Tha Carter III anything he did was bound to be anticlimactic—but this is like walking off a cliff.

Jason DeRulo—”In My Head”
#63
The problem with this record is simple: after playing it half a dozen times, it hasn’t stayed in my head at all. Without Imogen Heap, he’s nothing.

Mary J. Blige—”I Am”
#67
This is nothing new, but it’s a good, solid song, and for the first time in ages Blige sounds comfortable again, wisely relaxing and not overplaying her hand or her pipes. It helps that she’s taking on a role rather than singing as herself. It may not be a masterpiece, but it’s the best single Blige has put out in years.

30 Seconds To Mars—”This Is War”
#72
Imagine if U2 and Pearl Jam got together to make a concept album about global conflict. Now imagine that the album was written not by U2 and Pearl Jam, but Queensryche. No, I wouldn’t want to hear it, either.

Snoop Dogg—”I Wanna Rock”
#80
Ah, here’s the semi-annual Snoop I’ve been waiting for, and as an extra treat it comes with a shout-out to jerkin’. Not as daring as he’s been in the past, but as masterful as ever, and that choir chanting “Snooooop dooogg” in the background makes me laugh every time I hear it.

Chris Brown featuring Plies—”What I Do”
#88
I can’t help wondering if that title wouldn’t make more sense with a question mark at the end, with lyrics reflecting Brown’s dismay at having to work with The Worst Rapper In The World® in order to boost his plummeting commercial potential. And where’s that Akon duet we were promised?

Lifehouse—”Halfway Gone”
#99
That title invites all sorts of easy quips, but the song isn’t worth even that much effort.

George Strait—”Twang”
#100
If there have to be country songs about how wonderful country songs are, I’d rather hear them from Strait than anybody else, if only because he’s made some wonderful country music himself. Trouble is, the idea of country songs about country songs is as worn-out as rock songs about rockin’ out, and nothing Strait can do is going to revive it or make anything new out of it.

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New this week

Monday, October 12th, 2009

Glee Cast featuring Kristin Chenoweth
“Alone”, #51
“Maybe This Time” #88
The addition of actual Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth might be expected to add a level of polish, maybe even personality, or perhaps give the songs some satirical edge, but these tracks are as bland as everything else that has come out of the show, with the added detriment—especially on “Maybe This Time”—of the most irritating kind of Broadway mugging and hokiness. I’m beginning to think the blandness may be part of the appeal. Why else would that awful Queen cover be outselling everything else from the show?

Foo Fighters—”Wheels”
#73
Dave Grohl is a sincere, intelligent guy who makes sincere, intelligent alt-rock, and who’s capable, at his best, of tweaking the usual alt-rock self-actualization cliches just enough that they sound felt and almost not cliches. This is not Grohl at his best. The problem is the tempo, which overplays the sincerity and heightens the cliches so they’re impossible to miss. I don’t say this about many people, but I prefer Grohl when he’s shouting.

Paramore—”Careful”
#78
All those rumors about Hayley Williams going solo weren’t just the result of cynical music-biz thinking, they were an obvious reaction to the reality of Paramore: that Williams is more than just the public focus of the band, but also it’s creative center. Her lyrics are realistic without being cynical, hopeful without being sentimental, honest without being cruel. The band adds nothing but precisely played, often overwrought bombast. Williams may not have outgrown them yet, but just wait.

Kris Allen—”Live Like We’re Dying”
#89
Allen has apparently decided that the best way to maintain his post-American Idol career is to choose his material and sing it as if he were still a contestant. Hell, it made him a winner once, right?

Dierks Bentley—”I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes”
#91
This is like a scene from a country-themed Harlequin romance. It follows all the rules, and it’s supposed to be slow and seductive, but mostly it’s just slow, and too carefully calculated to be sexy. Bentley sounds sincere, but then all guys sound sincere when they’re they’re trying to get laid.

Reba—”Consider Me Gone”
#96
It starts off well, but like too many country songs it’s shifted deep into cliche by the time it gets to the chorus and never recovers. Reba’s vocals are fascinating, though—who needs autotune when you can stretch vowels like silly putty the way she does here.

Train—”Hey, Soul Sister”
#98
One of those songs where the forced cleverness of the music and lyrics outweighs whatever point the song is trying to make, which wasn’t much to begin with. This is like Jason Mraz with hypertension—not a pleasant sound at all.

LeToya featuring Ludacris—”Regret”
#100
This is more a recitation over a stylized musical background than it is a song, and Ludacris, to put it bluntly, is terrible: self-satisfied, pompous, crude, and never funny. Needless to say, he dominates the record.

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