Posts Tagged ‘Luke Bryan’

Hot 100 Roundup—10/15/11

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

B.o.B. featuring Lil Wayne—”Strange Clouds”
#7

B.o.B. has been putting so much energy into the pop side of his career that I’d swear this is the first time I’ve heard him rap. That can’t be true, but that’s the way it feels. He isn’t bad—good flow, some nice twists and turns both in the rhythm and the words—though more derivative of T.I. than I’d expect him to be. Wayne, meanwhile, sounds more alive all the time. His rap feels like it came off the top of his head for once, and while it isn’t brilliant, he seems to be regathering his strengths. Not a moment too soon, either.

Bruno Mars—”It Will Rain”
#28

Somewhere under the overkill of fuzzy synths and staggered beats you’ll find a very good song with sharp lyrics and a distinct Motown feel. I’d love to hear a slightly more uptempo, sparsely arranged version. In the meantime, we’ll just need to listen past an arrangement dictated more by it’s place on the latest Twilight soundtrack than the song itself.

Nickelback—”When We Stand Together”
#48

Of course it’s awful, it’s Nickelback. But consider this for a moment: these guys are so slow at what they do—their new album will be only their third since 2003—that this song must have been written long before the Occupy protests or maybe even the Arab Spring. Yet here it is, right on time. Putting its laughable aesthetics aside, it’s exactly what it should be for this moment in time. If these lumbering Canadians could feel this coming, possibly months ago, and sympathize, it may be a lot bigger than anybody thinks. A hell of a lot bigger.

T-Pain featuring Wiz Khalifa and Lily Allen—”5 O’Clock”
#62

Adding soul raps to a Lily Allen track is a brilliant idea, but this goes on too long, and except for the organ that weaves it’s way through the track like T-Pain’s conscience, doesn’t add much. It also, of course, places the emphasis of the song on Allen’s physical, rather than emotional needs, and turns her into a nagging, if sexy, bitch. I’m not saying it does total disservice to Allen’s song, but it puts the weight on the least interesting aspect. And Wiz Khalifa only makes it worse.

Glee Cast—”Somewhere”
#75

Lloyd featuring Andre 3000 & Lil Wayne—”Dedication To My Ex (Miss That)”
#81

I wish this wasn’t such an obvious take off from Cee Lo’s “Fuck You”, not just in terms of lyrical content but in sound, as well. It’s very good, and Andre 3000 is great, but the imitative quality and the shallowness of it can’t be avoided. “Fuck You” was great because Bruno Mars and Cee Lo live and breath retro soul; Lloyd is just following in their footsteps, not forging a path of his own. That may be his whole problem: as much as I’ve enjoyed his music, I still have no idea who Lloyd is.

Jason DeRulo—”Fight For You”
#83

I thought retro-sampling had hit bottom with Gym Class Heroes’ borrowings from Supertramp, but it’s impossible to underestimate the crassness of pop culture. Just when I thought DeRulo might be worth listening to, he comes up with this. I realize that sampling the African chants from “Wanna Be Starting Something” is cliche, but Toto is not an adequate replacement. Not at all. What could possibly be next and/or worse? Pablo Cruise?

Blink 182—”After Midnight”
#88

These guys have matured enough that they don’t ruin their mediocre song with meaningless histrionics, and Travis Barker is a damn good drummer. It’s still a mediocre song, though, sung by very mediocre singers.

Luke Bryan—”I Don’t Want This Night to End”
#90

I really enjoy the way the melody of this flows and changes pace as it goes along, creating a romantic atmosphere all on its own. Which is good, because the arrangement, the vocals, and the lyrics do nothing to add to the feeling.

Zac Brown Band—”Keep Me In Mind”
#99

Brown is a one-man 70′s retro movement. So far he’s focused on the laid back sound of Jimmy Buffet and the somnambulist crooning of James Taylor, but here he ups the tempo and the tension by recreating the muzak-americana of the pre-Michael McDonald Doobie Brothers. All he has to do now is tour with Fleet Foxes and take over the world by putting it to sleep.

China Anne McClain—”Calling All the Monsters”
#100

Leave it to Disney to turn Britney’s Spear’s current sound into family-safe Halloween music. They do it very well, too. This is brighter and snappier than Spear’s has been in a while, and though the voices are young, this is never corny or cheesy. It’s a good, catchy, electro-influenced dance track. Not to mention that it cuts Lady Gaga off at the pass, keeping her from releasing a seasonal record along the same lines.

Hot 100 Roundup—8/27/11

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Drake—”Headlines”
#13

Is this guy capable of doing anything but feel sorry for himself? Fame didn’t turn out to be as much fun as he thought it would be; no one understands him or how hard he works; and there are all these women! Makes you wonder what he got into the business for. It sure wasn’t the music.

Jason DeRulo—”It Girl”
#39

I have mixed feelings about this record, largely because I find myself liking it more than I think I should. Most of DeRulo’s records have been terrible, but this time around he switches up his style, dumping his usual dense, sample based hip-hop for a lighter, more straight-ahead sound. Some say he’s trying to be Bruno Mars, but what I hear is a less desperate, more relaxed version of Chris Brown. In other words, a pleasant, minor talent who doesn’t carry a lot of excess baggage around with him. I doubt he’ll ever do anything great, but at least he isn’t an embarrassment.

Jay-Z & Kanye West
“Who Gon’ Stop Me”, #44
“Niggas In Paris”, #75

I have real difficulties with Watch the Throne. The music is often brilliant, but the lyrics are intentionally paradoxical, full of contradictions and ego-based hyperbole that are hard to work around or excuse. The opening line of “Who Gon Stop Me” is a perfect example: “This is something like the Holocaust/Millions of our people lost”. It’s a powerful statement, and like much of Watch the Throne, it places current events in a deeper historical context. Whether or not that context is fully justified in relation to what most of the tracks are about, however—that is, being rich and living high—is open to question. The overall stance of the album is that the suffering African-Americans have gone through is justification for those who are successful exalting themselves, living as high as they can, and bragging about it as much as possible. It’s hardly a new idea, as they well know; just the title “Niggas in Paris” alone conjures up images of black men and women who were in a position to take advantage of financial independence and the relative racial freedom of Europe and did so to excess: Joe Jackson, Josephine Baker, Sidney Bechet, James Baldwin, and many others. What gets left out of the story are the great majority who don’t have anything to brag about; not just African Americans, but Africans, whites, Latinos, Asians, and the Europeans who make their living serving people like Jay-Z and West and satisfying their needs. Like Jay-Z said in “Empire State of Mind”, “Pity half of y’all won’t make it”, with the unuttered followup, “sucker”, implied in his phrasing. It’s a drug dealer’s mentality, and even if they’re aware of it, and unsure of it, and emphasize the irony of it, it still stinks.

David Guetta featuring Sia—”Titanium”
#66

Guetta wisely lightens up his sound before the bombast takes over completely, and though this is nothing special at least it isn’t openly hostile to anyone with sensitive ears or a working brain. If he had found a singer other than Sia, whose lack of enunciation I find even more irritating here than on her own records, it might have been even better.

Miranda Lambert—”Baggage Claim”
#67

After Revolution I was afraid that Lambert was softening up, and that the woman who had made Crazy Ex-Girlfriend was gone for good. Going by this and the Pistol Annies album, though, that judgement was premature. “Baggage Claim” isn’t a great record: rhythmically it’s a little stiff, and the metaphor gets stretched almost to the breaking point, but it brings back the take-no-prisoners stance that made Lambert famous, with only the slightest lessening of intensity. She may not be as brash as she used to be, but she makes up for it with a sense of confidence that may be even more impressive. She knows what she wants, she knows how to get it, and she knows that she can. My only worry is that she’ll try so hard to make a perfect record that she’ll mistrust her best instincts and stiffen up. That’s was Revolution’s greatest weakness, and you can hear some of that on this record. Still, this sounds like a step in the right direction.

Evanescence—”What You Want”
#68

Keeping up with the times, Amy Lee and her new band mates toss a little Paramore-style melody into their mix, along with an easy to chant along with hook. I like this more than any Evanescence I’ve heard before, and for metal-edged pop (or is that pop-edged metal) this is high caliber. If the whole album sounds like this it could be another Superunknown (which should give you an idea of how much metal I listen to).

T.I. featuring B.o.B.—”We Don’t Get Down Like Y’all”
#78

The change in style—less fuzzy synths, more hard beats—is appreciated, but it’s also a step backwards towards a style he moved beyond years ago. What is new, at least to me, is the blatant homophobia. If people have a problem with Odd Future, what are they going to think of “Listen up, fag bait/them hot pants bad for your prostate.” Maybe he is just a jerk.

Luke Bryan—”Drunk On Love”
#79

Yet another song about a country girl shakin’ it for her man. In rap, women work the pole; in country, the tailgate. Bryan even steals an image from the blues: “Honey drips on the moneymaker”. Country radio programmers must know what that means, but I bet they’ll play it anyway. Pretty slow for yet another version of “Whole Lot of Shakin’”, though. I imagine Bryan intended this as a sexy grind, but since he doesn’t know sexy from a rusty pickup truck, all he gets is the grind.

The Script—”Nothing”
#89

You said it.

Mindless Behavior featuring Diggy—”Mrs. Right”
#97

There have been a lot of good teen rap groups the last couple of years, but this record is so insane, with both the vocals and the beats run through an autotune turned up to 11, that the damn thing never touches the ground. By the end of the first verse you’ve lost your bearings: just where did they expect this to end up? Good for a laugh, but that’s about it.

Hot 100 Roundup—5/7/11

Monday, May 16th, 2011

Luke Bryan—”Country Girl (Shake It For Me)”
#22

The intro, especially that throbbing guitar line, shakes pretty well, but after that it’s all by rote. If Bryan actually demonstrated some honest lust, his sexism might be forgivable, but instead he goes on automatic and gets progressively duller.

Beyonce—”Run the World (Girls)”
#33

Based on a Major Lazer sample (aka Diplo and Switch), this is essentially an M.I.A. track with all the third-world references and atmosphere removed, and that loss of texture makes a huge difference. The bare bones sound is as bald and uninteresting as Beyonce’s well-meant lecture on sexual politics. Since this song makes explicit what has been implicit in almost every record she’s made as a solo artist, I assume Beyonce is either running out of patience or running out of ideas, probably both. Either way she’s beating us over the head with a message that was more powerful when it was partially hidden and presented in dramatic terms. “Irreplaceable” is a far greater feminist work than this preachy bore.

Adele—”Turning Tables”
#63

This woman knows how to sing (though not this time), but she doesn’t know how to write a song (or arrange one). When the strings come in you realize her real stock in trade is melodrama, not emotion.

Glee Cast
“Turning Tables” (featuring Gwyneth Paltrow), #66
“All By Myself”, #87

Bridget Mendler
“Breakthrough”, #88
“Somebody”, #89

Two more songs from the Lemonade Mouth soundtrack, and though neither is as good as “Determinate” (which is quickly turning into my favorite pop song of the year), both are far better than one would expect from Disney. It would be easy to say that this is simply Disney doing a better job of keeping up with pop trends than they have in the past, but the fact is that in the last few years it’s pop that has been moving closer to Disney rather than the opposite. Now that Glee has taken over the High School Musical audience (who are, after all, five years older) and Nickelodeon is chasing the latest tweeners, Disney moves on to high school pop-rock, tracking close behind Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, and Avril Lavigne, and downplaying the showtune cheeriness that spoiled so much of their earlier music. It’s still derivative as hell, but it’s also right on track with the times. And catchy. Don’t forget catchy.

Jennifer Lopez—”Papi”
#99

Though there’s nothing to indicate it on the credits, this sounds like something Lady GaGa may have cooked up for a b-side and then decided to give away instead. With GaGa singing, this might stand a chance to be both sexy and defiant. Lopez, instead, sounds cheerfully submissive to her man—which is her idea of being sexy—and invites every other woman in the world to join her in her self-degradation. She should ask Luke Bryan to appear in the video—he’d feel right at home.

Hot 100 Roundup—11/7/10

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

Ke$ha—“We R Who We R”
#1

Far too reminiscent of “Tik Tok”, only with half the jokes, half the hooks, and a lot less appeal, which leaves you with almost nothing at all. A sop to her fans, and an obvious one, at that.

Taylor Swift
“Sparks Fly”, #17
“Innocent”, #27
“The Story Of Us”, #41
“Dear John”, #54
“Better Than Revenge”, #56
“Haunted”, #63
“Last Kiss”, #71
“Enchanted”, #75
“Never Grow Up”, #84
“Live Long”, #85

What I’m about to say may sound petty, as if I’m just looking for something to criticize in the face of the almost universal adoration of Swift and Speak Now. But it needs to be said. These are all good songs, some of them excellent (though none as good as the preview singles that have come out over the last month), and Swift performs them with an intelligence and emotion that few can match. All the same, this is one of the worst produced pop albums I’ve ever heard. Whether it’s the production itself, the arrangements, or the fact that they’ve been mastered at too high a volume, most of these tracks sound over-loud and shrill, lacking dynamics and bottom, and I find it impossible to listen to more than three or four at a time. This may not be Swift’s fault. Even though she’s credited as co-producer she may not have had a lot of control over the final mastering process, which is 90% of the problem. My worry is that it’s all intentional, that the shiny sound is meant to be a match for Swift’s shiny dresses and golden hair and the whole fairytale aura she surrounds herself—or at least her career—in. She may be more of a Stevie Nicks imitator than most of those who champion her would care to admit. She writes wonderful songs, and the fairytale imagery and plot-lines are disappearing from her lyrics, which is a good sign, but you have to listen past the production in order to hear them. Time for a new producer, if not a re-think of her entire musical approach.

Chris Brown—“Yeah XXX”
#33

This is, admittedly, Brown’s best record since “Forever”, but of course that’s not saying much. Once you’ve made a record like “Douches” “Deuces”, there’s no way to go but up. The only interesting thing about this record is the fact that, considering Brown was once a hip-hop star, it isn’t hip-hop at all. It’s more like a heavily edited early ’90s hardcore dance track, and when I say heavily edited I mean one with all the hooks removed.

Rascal Flatts—“I Won’t Let Go”
#72

It’s hard not to be impressed by an act that’s been as successful as this one has been at rewriting other people’s hits. Last time it was Loggins and Messina’s “Your Mama Don’t Dance”; this time, for a change of pace, it’s The Pretenders’s “I’ll Stand By You”. They barely even bother changing the chorus, just the title. It’s like a karaoke contest where you get to make up your own lyrics as you go along.

Kid Cudi—“Mr. Rager”
#77

Easily Cudi’s best record since “Day ‘n’ Night”, and about roughly the same thing—getting wasted—only from a different perspective. The lonely stoner of the earlier song got wasted to get away from his problems; “Mr. Rager” suggests getting wasted is the problem, though it wisely doesn’t say so straight out. Cudi may be too subtle, though. The record lacks any real tension or sense of emotion, as if the guy were already wiped out and not just considering the possibility. If Mr. Rager is intended to be some sort of Pied Piper, it doesn’t work. There’s no suggestion that anything is being risked, that anything can be lost. I understand what Cudi is getting at, but somehow it doesn’t work.

Ne-Yo—“One In A Million”
#97

Reviewed in Bubbliing Under, 10/17/10

Luke Bryan—“Someone Else Calling You Baby”
#100

Reviewed in Bubbliing Under, 10/17/10

Bubbling Under:

Chris Young—“Voices”
#101

This and the earlier “The Man I Want To Be” paint Young as a concerned, spiritual soul, yearning to live up to an image of manhood taken straight from the Bible, age-old rural wisdom, and whatever his management and record label say will make him a star. All artists pander to their audience to some extent, but Young jumps in with both feet, and he’s a master at it. Either that or this steaming pile of crap is proof that the voices in his head don’t give him a single original idea, or even tell him to choose decent songs.

Hot 100 Roundup—10/17/10

Sunday, October 24th, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Speak Now”
#8

Another cute fairy tale, a song form at which Swift has become an absolute master. Sassy, funny, and sharply observed as always, only this one is streaked with some real bitterness, including details and descriptions that would be considered, um, mean coming from anyone else. As the title cut from the new album, it obviously serves as justification for the deeper anger that permeates some of the other songs. Like most fairy tales, however, this ends at the point of victory, and says nothing about the aftermath. Which makes me wonder if Swift, both as a character in her songs and as a real person, is ready for the tempest she’s stirring up.

Kanye West featuring Pusha T—”Runaway”
#12

Ever since 808s and Heartbreak, and even more so since his disastrous VMA fuck-up, the main focus of Kanye West’s audience, and certainly the press, has been not his music, but his state of mind. Is he falling apart? Does he regret what he’s done? Will he apologize? Will the new record present a more humble, subdued Yeezy? The answers so far (No. Yes. Sort of. Are you kidding me?) are fascinating in their way, but they distract from the main point, which is the music. In the last three months he’s released two excellent official singles, plus a boatload of good to great tracks as part of the G.O.O.D. Friday download series, and all I read on the blogs and in comment sections is analysis of his emotional ups and downs, as if every new piece of music were nothing more than the latest installment in a soap opera: Kanye West and the Price of Fame or As the Rapper Yearns. Part of this is West’s fault—his self-absorption is far beyond the call of duty of even the most egotistical rappers—but at the same time he’s one of the few whose work lives up to their own hype. And even if the latest records break little new ground—“Power” harks all the way back to The College Dropout, while “Runaway” sounds like an 808s track with some pop sweetening—the ideas he’s already dug up would be enough to fuel any number of lifelong careers. If, that is, he doesn’t drive his into the ground by making music about nothing but himself. It’s a narrowing of the palette that few artists survive, no matter how brilliant they are. I just hope this album gets it all out of his system and he can go on to something else.

Glee Cast
“I Want To Hold Your Hand”, #36
“One Of Us”, #37
“Only the Good Die Young”, #50
“Losing My Religion”, #60
“Papa Can You Hear Me?”, #65
“Bridge Over Troubled Water”, #73
“I Look To You”, #74

P!nk—”Raise Your Glass”
#51

For a Max Martin-produced party record this is surprisingly stiff, never more so than in the throwaway vocal interjections that are supposed to provide that loose, freaky atmosphere (and all the jokes). It’s all far too calculated and machine-tooled, without a single moment left to chance. I don’t know if this is Martin’s fault or P!nk’s, but it sure isn’t freaky.

Bruno Mars—”The Lazy Song”
#82

Dear Bruno Mars: You can be a pop guy with serious undertones, or you can be a serious guy with an instinctive pop sensibility, but you cannot be Jack Johnson with keyboards. Not if you want any respect, that is.

A Rocket To the Moon—”Like We Used To”
#91

One of those records that’s upended by the details guys like this learn to put into their songs in their Songwriting 101 class. Pleading with an ex-girlfriend you caught naked in a car with somebody else fourteen months ago does not make you sensitive or passionate—it makes you a wimp. As does the music and the vocals.

Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina—”Stereo Love”
#93

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/10/10

David Guetta featuring Kid Cudi—”Memories”
#94

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/3/10

Shakira featuring Dizzee Rascal—”Loca”
#98

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/10/10

Bubbling Under

Justin Moore—”How I Got To Be This Way”
#101

By being kicked in the head by a horse, apparently. This explains a lot.

Ne-Yo—”One In a Million”
#102

This is the catchiest and most pop-oriented of the preview singles off Ne-Yo’s new album, which also means it’s the most familiar sounding and the most ordinary. Ne-Yo’s style and class set him apart from almost everybody else on the chart, but they also hold him back somehow. It feels as if he’s not telling us everything he could because he’s afraid of stepping outside of the image he’s concocted for himself. Maybe it’s time for him to be a little less of a gentleman, or at least find an outlet for the tension that stance implies.

Trace Adkins—”This Ain’t No Love Song”
#103

In fact, it’s barely a song at all.

Luke Bryan—”Someone Else Calling You Baby”
#104

Bryan is a decent, mid-level country singer, and this is interesting for being essentially 70s country pop with a more soulful, modern rock setting, The Bellamy Brothers turned up to 11. Past 11, actually, which is the problem.

Willow—”Whip My Hair”
#105

This is far better than anyone had a right to suspect, and surprising, as well. Willow’s voice is literally unbelievable—it’s not just the strength, but the mature phrasing—if I hadn’t already known I never would have suspected her real age; I would have gone for thirty. The track is rougher than you’d think, as well, a poppified mix of electro and crunk that never lets up. Tougher than anything her dad ever did, that’s for sure.

My Darkest Days featuring Ludacris—”Porn Star Dancing”
#106

With Nickleback’s Chad Kroeger as co-writer and co-producer doing his best 3Oh!3 impersonation, the presence of Ludacris helps this record achieve a perfect storm of demographic triangulation. The sheer commercial shamelessness of it almost makes its stripper pole sleaze appealing. Kind of catchy, too.

Lifehouse—”All In”
#108

If it were anybody else turning to poker metaphors to describe their passion, I’d assume they were shooting for a country crossover, but these guys sound like the same old boring rockers they’ve always been. Only without hooks. It doesn’t mean much to go all in if all you’ve got left is a couple of bucks.

New this week—4/4/10

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Sean Kingston & Justin Bieber—”Eenie Meenie”
#30

This is more Kingston than it is Bieber, and just enough of both to render it meaningless. Peeling back the garishness that has decorated Kingston’s more recent singles only reveals how lacking they are in anything resembling a hook, and mixing in Bieber’s usual pablum provides the final push toward total mediocrity. Any charm Kingston may have possessed is gone; now he’s just another dancehall-pop hack. As for Bieber, he’s never been charming. Being charming requires a personality.

T-Pain—”Reverse Cowgirl”
#75

I can understand why people write T-Pain off, but more and more I’m beginning to think he’s some kind of genius. This isn’t his most insane record (that’s still “Chopped ‘n’ Skrewed”) but it may be his funniest, and it’s at a level of musical sophistication that jokesters like 3Oh!3 and LMFAO can only dream of. All its best jokes are musical rather than lyrical (he was beaten to most of his rodeo metaphors a long time ago, anyway), and without a single swear word it’s dirty as hell. Based on the title alone, I can’t imagine it will get much radio play, but it’s bound to be a ringtone favorite. Yee-hah!

Young Money—”Roger That”
#86

The best Young Money track so far, and the second best hip-hop comedy record of the week, and that’s not a put down. Nicki Minaj does a killer Lil Wayne impersonation, while Wayne himself spends a good deal of his time giggling. The guy in the middle (do I really need to waste my time looking up his name?) is at least tolerable. The beat is insane, the raps as dirty as they want to be, and if the whole isn’t a as great as its parts, at least it doesn’t waste them.

Jaron And The Long Road To Love—”Pray For You”
#87

From the first organ note you can see the joke coming, and though keeping the music country-lovesong straight is probably intended to be satirical, in reality it drags the humor down. It doesn’t help that Jaron didn’t bother to write a third verse, either. Jokes are supposed to build, not just repeat themselves.

Luke Bryan–”Rain Is A Good Thing”
#91

Because it leads to sex, of course. Doesn’t everything in uptempo good ol’ boy country? This is better than most, though; catchy as hell, and doesn’t throw in too many cliches. I could, however, do without the self-satisfied chortle; sounds way too calculated.

Justin Bieber—That Should Be Me”
#92

This awful record makes me wonder if Bieber isn’t, in reality, Usher’s revenge on all the fickle teenage fans who have turned to younger pastures over the last couple of years. But then, those are the fans who have put this record on the chart—it isn’t being promoted as a single, it’s just an album track that the Bieberfreaks (or maybe their mothers) have decided to give extra attention. Maybe I’m just being cynical—but not half as cynical as Usher.

Martina McBride—”Wrong Baby Wrong”
#95

This isn’t bad: nice Stones inspired riff at the beginning, and I like the idea of a mother’s advice song from the mother’s point of view. It gets too tame about halfway through, though, and it goes on too long. McBride should pay more attention to Eric Church or Luke Bryan: for a song like this, three minutes is all you need. The rest is just showing off.

Miranda Lambert—”The House That Built Me”
#98

I’m always wary of this sort of country sentimentality—when country singers talk about “finding” themselves, it almost always means a return to their smalltown, family roots, a confession of their sinful, straying ways, and a nostalgia that’s sure to turn into bathos, usually accompanied by a healthy dollop of strings and some whining steel guitar. But even taking those reservations into account, this is a perfect record. There are no strings or steel guitar to be found, and Lambert’s understated vocal drives home more real emotion than any amount of Nashville oversinging. It helps that the song is the best example of its kind you’ll ever hear: the two-part chorus is stunning in its impact, and if the verse about mama and papa building their house doesn’t bring you close to tears, nothing ever will. Lambert didn’t write this, but it proves that even when she’s not falling back on alt-country standbys (Patti Griffin, John Prine, etc.), she has an unerring ear for good material. Which means she’s going to be a star for a long, long time. Boy, do we need her.

Colbie Caillat—”I Never Told You”
#99

I’ve badmouthed Caillat a lot in the past, and this isn’t a great record, but it’s made me realize who and what she really is: the twenty-something, SoCal version of Taylor Swift. She’s not as lyrically inventive as Swift, too often she falls back on cliches, and despite the title of her first hit, she’s nowhere near as bubbly—but her point of view, her romantic sensibilities, and her sense of taste and (if I can use this term) musical decorum, are almost exactly the same (there’s a reason Swift performed with Stevie Nicks, after all). The main differences are of age and geography. While Swift optimistically negotiates the fresh hell of a Nashville high school with fairy tale visions of romance, Caillat faces the ages-old Southern California disconnect of the messiness of emotional and sexual reality while living in a physical paradise. Both seem almost untouched by the real world, when the truth is that both know it all too well, and are shaping their own version of the perfect escape. Swift is the greater artist of the two, but Caillat may very well surprise us somewhere down the line.

New this week

Monday, September 14th, 2009

Breaking Benjamin—”I Will Not Bow”
#40

Music for fans of 300, of which there are many, I suppose. I just wish I knew what it was they think they’re fighting. Death itself is the most likely answer, hence the defeatism. But it’s a generic defeatism, as untouched by reality and as sentimental as any lovey dovey acoustic strumalong. They should just send out black edged Hallmark cards and get it over with.

Trey Songz featuring Gucci Mane & Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em—”LOL :-)
#51

The music is charming—which, with a production team named Fisha & Price, is only what you’d expect—but Trey Songz never has anything interesting to say, Gucci Mane adds nothing, and Soulja Boy sounds like he just got up and is stumbling around the kitchen making a cup of coffee while shouting out whatever comes into his head that seems to rhyme (including a plug for his most recent hit). The music might prevent this from become dated too quickly, if it isn’t already, but don’t bet on it.

Michael Buble—”Haven’t Met You Yet”
#65

Unlike a lot of critics, I didn’t think Sara Bareilles “Love Song” was a bad record, but this blatant rip-off makes it sound like a masterpiece. You’d think a star like Buble would make his theft less obvious, but subtlety doesn’t seem to be his strong suit. You also wouldn’t think that a heartthrob like Buble would have a voice as thin as tissue paper, but you’d be wrong about that, too. In it’s way, the dumbest record of the year, and that’s saying something.

Jesse McCartney featuring T-Pain—”Body Language”
#84

Not much of a song, but it does provide an interesting view into the shifting commercial allegiances of hip-hop. The original featured loud “Hey!”s in the mode of T.I., but McCartney must have decided that imitating a guy doing time for Federal weapons charges might not be a good idea in light of the age of most of his audience, so he brings in the more benign, cartoonish T-Pain, whose “Hey”s are softer and, needless to say, prettily autotuned. At the same time, T-Pain seems to embrace McCartney as the heir to the recently convicted Chris Brown, referring to their newly formed partnership as Nappy Boy and Pretty Boy, the same phrase he used to describe himself and Brown on “Kiss Kiss”. Meanwhile, musically, McCartney continues to try to cross the gap between Brown and Justin Timberlake without noticing the big sign that says “You Can’t Get There From Here”. This is starting to become as complicated as a telenovella.

Luke Bryan—”Do I”
#85

What, you mean whine and cry and bore us to tears for four endless minutes? Yes, you do.

Gucci Mane featuring Plies—”Wasted”
#95

Gucci Mane has done so many guest spots in the last couple of months—making up for time lost to incarceration—that you’d be excused for thinking he must be as big a name as T-Pain or Lil Wayne. But I tend to think that most of those guest spots were offered as a welcome home and as a form of charity. He’s contributed nothing of value to any of the records he’s appeared on, and here he teams up with The Worst Rapper On The Planet™ and demonstrates how little we actually missed while he was in the joint.

Sean Kingston—”Face Drop”
#98

The closest thing to a personal touch on this faceless follow-up to the even more faceless “Fire Burning” is a reference to being overweight—which Kingston sings as impersonally as everything else. A couple of years ago I thought he might have some real talent, but obviously I was wrong.

Whitney Houston—”Million Dollar Bill”
#100

A weird one. With all the youthful brassiness missing from Houston’s voice and her upper register apparently gone for good, even her uptempo celebrations are subdued. The opening verse sounds like a Sade record sped up, and though the rest settles into a respectable early ’80s soul groove, it never quite takes off. But it gets better every time I listen to it, and at times Houston conjures a dignity and grace reminiscent of her cousin Dionne Warwick. At this point in her career, I can’t think of a better model.