Tag Archives: Maroon 5

Pop Guns
Hot 100 Roundup—8/16/14

Jessie J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj—“Bang Bang” #6 Jessie J’s voice doesn’t just grate, it stabs deep into your brain, making your extremities twitch and probably causing impotence. Arianna Grande, though she has plenty of defenders and the effect is … Continue reading

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Yes Mediocre
Hot 100 Roundup—7/5/14

Maroon 5—“Maps” #14 Adam Levine is no longer a vocalist, he’s a special effect designed to get the maximum amount of attention by sounding both human and machine-like (synthesizer-like really) at the same time. This is perfect for Maroon 5, … Continue reading

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Hanging in There: Hot 100 Roundup—6/8/13

I’ve fallen way behind, which I feel some need to explain to those twenty or so people—most of whom I know by sight—who continue to read this column. Mostly I’ve fallen behind because I’ve been working on something totally unrelated … Continue reading

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Winding Down
Hot 100 Roundup—12/22/12

Now that the Bruno Mars and Wiz Khalifa albums are out (and Big Boi, too, though his chart presence is not exactly commanding at this point), we can say that the year is truly at an end. There’s still one … Continue reading

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Sometimes the Pop Gods are On Our Side

A couple of months ago I predicted that Maroon 5′s ghastly “Payphone” would keep “Call Me Maybe” from making number one. I was wrong, of course. The exact opposite happened. “Call Me Maybe” has now been number one for eight … Continue reading

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WTF?
Hot 100 Roundup—7/14/12

Owl City & Carly Ray Jepsen—“Good Time” #18 Adam Young, better known as Owl City, should not try to be David Guetta (especially if he’s going to sing), and Carly Rae Jepsen, who, despite “Call Me Maybe”, still needs to … Continue reading

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From the Ridiculous To the Sublime
Hot 100 Roundup—7/7/12

Maroon 5—“One More Night” #42 Less irritating than “Payphone”, but also less catchy, with both the band and producer Max Martin running on automatic. Since “Payphone” still hasn’t peaked (God help us), I’m not even sure why they released this. … Continue reading

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Good Records From Bad People
Hot 100 Roundup—5/5/12

Maroon 5 featuring Wiz Khalifa—“Payphone” #3 The sheer hackery of this record is revealed by the very elements that are designed to disguise it. That is, the subject matter itself—just mentioning payphones these days is guaranteed to get people’s attention: … Continue reading

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Hunger Games, Dubstep Games
Hot 100 Roundup—4/7/12

Taylor Swift—“Eyes Open” #19 What’s surprising about all The Hunger Games songs I’ve heard is how literal they are, in the sense that they focus on particular aspects of the story rather than delivering the usual pop tropes and vaguely … Continue reading

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Hot 100 Roundup—7/9/11

Maroon 5 featuring Christina Aguilera—”Moves Like Jagger”, #8 Javier Colon—”Fix You”, #52 Dia Frampton, “Losing My Religion”, #54 Vicci Martinez—”Dog Days Are Over”, #68 Xenia—”The Man Who Can’t Be Moved”, #92 Pitbull featuring T-Pain & Sean Paul—”Shake Senora” #69 This … Continue reading

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