The Illiterate

Mitchel Musso—“Hey”
#70
More Disney pop (cast member of Hannah Montana, brother in Metro Station): less punk than the Jonas Brothers, less pop than Miley Cyrus, more mature sounding and less interesting than both.

Beyonce—“Ego”
#77
This is the most honest song Beyonce has produced about her relationship with Jay-Z (a hell of a lot more honest than “Halo”, that’s for sure). It’s also the funniest, which is why I believe it. The more Beyonce talks about her dick being as big as Jay-Z’s, the more respect I have for both of them.

Justin Moore—“Small Town USA”
#88
As a lover of Miranda Lambert’s “Famous In a Small Town”, I’m not prepared to completely write off country music’s rural fetishism, but this is as generic as it gets. The lyrics never get any deeper than the title, even if Moore does namecheck David Allen Coe to prove how “outlaw” he is. In the ‘70s I might have believed him, but now?

Cage The Elephant—“Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked”
#92
This is a surprise, if only because this kind of white boy blues, though plenty of people still make it, doesn’t show up much on the charts these days. It’s a relief to hear young punks with a beef with the world who don’t sound like either Green Day or Linkin Park. The laid back sound only makes their message come across with that much more force. The message is nothing special, but at least it’s there; it has a populist tinge to it that reminds me of Todd Snider, only without Snider’s sense of detail. The same goes for the music—like a lot of young bands, they’ve got a lot to learn, but they seem to be starting in the right place.

Fabolous featuring The-Dream—“Throw It In the Bag”
#94
As glad as I am that strip club rap is fading, I’m not sure mall shopping rap is that much of an improvement. A decade ago, “throw it in the bag” would have been a drug dealing reference, now it’s about helping your woman accessorize. Call it the Beyonce effect: a reaction to all those women demanding ever deeper levels of respect. To guys like Ne-Yo and The-Dream (you know, those hyphenated guys), this is an emotional and intellectual challenge, an opportunity to sharpen their game. To Fabolous, it’s just another obstacle to throw money at.

Ginuwine—“Last Chance”
#95
A generic love rap noticeable only for the fact that Ginuwine tries so hard to sell it. The intro and outro have nothing to do with the song itself, they’re just advertisements: “If this your favorite song, turn your radio on/Play it for your man or your lady all day long”. He sounds more passionate about this than anything else. It’s like watching a TV show where the commercials are more interesting than the actual program.

K’Jon—“On the Ocean”
#98
Already a smash on the Adult R&B chart, and no wonder—after a near perfect lover man intro, K’Jon settles into a Marvin Gaye-like groove you haven’t heard since, well, since Gaye himself. Very nice.

The Veronicas—“Take Me On the Floor”
#99
Unlike other “let’s get wasted and do it right here in the club” anthems, The Veronicas maintain a certain amount of self-control—and self-respect. Unfortunately, that extends to the music, which is hooky enough in an automatic, pre-packaged sort of way, but also stiff. However you might feel about the likes of Katy Perry or Lady GaGa, they’re doing something different, and they don’t hold anything back, which makes them both fascinating and terrifying. The Veronica’s are just catchy.