Posts Tagged ‘Nickelback’

Hot 100 Roundup—12/10/11

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

Rihanna
“Talk That Talk” (featuring Jay-Z), #31
“Where Have You Been”, #65
Dance music isn’t designed to stick in your memory, and I have the same problem with these that I have with the last couple of Rihanna’s records: I enjoy them when I hear them, but then forget all about them after. She’s so perfect for this sort of music, her slightly unreal buzz of a voice mixing seamlessly with the synths, that I barely notice a word she says, much less remember any afterwords (the same can’t be said of Jay-Z, though, who sounds newly energized, even if he doesn’t say anything special). She still doesn’t have any real personality on record other than sexy tough gal, and these tracks add nothing to that other than a few more hooks.

will.i.am featuring Mick Jagger & Jennifer Lopez—”T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)”
#36
It takes a certain amount of courage to rap “Oh my goodness/This beat is so hard” when, at the moment at least, there is no beat. And it takes a certain patronizing, disrespectful commercial instinct to end a guest spot by Mick Jagger with a musical quote from “Satisfaction”. Or to put the anonymous Jenifer Lopez on a track at all. With The Black Eyed Peas going on hiatus I thought will.i.am might take some time off to generate new ideas. Turns out he just wanted to milk the old ones without the other three in his way. And let’s face it: Mick Jagger sounds old, old, old.

Chris Brown featuring Kevin McCall—”Strip”
#85
Another step into the past for Brown. This sounds like something he would have recorded five years ago, if the then 16 year-old had been allowed to sing about strip clubs. Is he making up for lost opportunity or something? Or is he just totally out of ideas? He never had many.

Nickelback—”Lullaby”
#89
Not good, but again their subject matter surprises me. This could well serve as their contribution to the It Gets Better Project. Wonder what made them suddenly grow a conscious. Too bad they couldn’t have grown some musical ideas at the same time.

Tyga—”Rack City”
#94
The hook is strong enough to stick in your head whether you want it to or not, and the sparse beat is catchy in its own way, as well. Still not sure whether it’s about actual pimping or just, you know know, pimpin’. I’m not even sure which I would consider worse.

Outasight—”Tonight Is the Night”
#96
Straight from a Pepsi commercial to the charts. It’s not as bad as that makes it sound—I like the high energy touches—but it sure wouldn’t be on the charts otherwise.

Mana featuring Prince Royce—”El Verdadero Amor Perdona”
#100
I don’t know enough about Latin to identify all the cliches, but to my ears this is full of them. It sounds romantic in all the right ways, though, and the way the music and vocals shift mood from line to line is impressive. It just doesn’t sound very original.

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Occupy Disney Pop

Monday, November 28th, 2011

Great piece by Mike Barthel on the Miley Cyrus/Rockmafia video in support of Occupy Wall Street, which makes use of a remixed version of Cyrus’s “Liberty Walk”. Barthel is right in noting that’s there’s no reason for people to be surprised at this, or think that Cyrus is only cashing in. Cyrus may have played an innocent goodie-goodie on The Disney Channel, but that never meant she was one; most likely it was the opposite. Pop is so invested in generating personae, and reinforcing those personae through public events and appearances, press releases, video, and now tweets, that people are shocked when an artist breaks out and demonstrates other aspects of personality. If Lady GaGa were to appear in public in a demure dress, no hat, no wig, and average heels, people would be just as shocked as they are at Cyrus now.

There’s no reason Cyrus can’t be a democrat—jingoistic jinglemeister Toby Keith is—or even a progressive, and there’s no reason to believe that she doesn’t know what those words mean. The same can be said of many others. Nickelback has released a single that seems to be in support of Occupy, though by their music you would assume them to be the worst sort of redneck (Canadian division) reactionaries. Enrique Iglesius’s latest single mixes his usual lustful yearning with references to the It Gets Better project; does that mean we should question his Latin lover persona, at least in terms of which gender he directs his ardor towards? Why should we? It isn’t that difficult to believe that there are some things that are bigger than pop; why is it so hard to believe that even pop stars are aware of it?

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Hot 100 Roundup—10/15/11

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

B.o.B. featuring Lil Wayne—”Strange Clouds”
#7
B.o.B. has been putting so much energy into the pop side of his career that I’d swear this is the first time I’ve heard him rap. That can’t be true, but that’s the way it feels. He isn’t bad—good flow, some nice twists and turns both in the rhythm and the words—though more derivative of T.I. than I’d expect him to be. Wayne, meanwhile, sounds more alive all the time. His rap feels like it came off the top of his head for once, and while it isn’t brilliant, he seems to be regathering his strengths. Not a moment too soon, either.

Bruno Mars—”It Will Rain”
#28
Somewhere under the overkill of fuzzy synths and staggered beats you’ll find a very good song with sharp lyrics and a distinct Motown feel. I’d love to hear a slightly more uptempo, sparsely arranged version. In the meantime, we’ll just need to listen past an arrangement dictated more by it’s place on the latest Twilight soundtrack than the song itself.

Nickelback—”When We Stand Together”
#48
Of course it’s awful, it’s Nickelback. But consider this for a moment: these guys are so slow at what they do—their new album will be only their third since 2003—that this song must have been written long before the Occupy protests or maybe even the Arab Spring. Yet here it is, right on time. Putting its laughable aesthetics aside, it’s exactly what it should be for this moment in time. If these lumbering Canadians could feel this coming, possibly months ago, and sympathize, it may be a lot bigger than anybody thinks. A hell of a lot bigger.

T-Pain featuring Wiz Khalifa and Lily Allen—”5 O’Clock”
#62
Adding soul raps to a Lily Allen track is a brilliant idea, but this goes on too long, and except for the organ that weaves it’s way through the track like T-Pain’s conscience, doesn’t add much. It also, of course, places the emphasis of the song on Allen’s physical, rather than emotional needs, and turns her into a nagging, if sexy, bitch. I’m not saying it does total disservice to Allen’s song, but it puts the weight on the least interesting aspect. And Wiz Khalifa only makes it worse.

Glee Cast—”Somewhere”
#75

Lloyd featuring Andre 3000 & Lil Wayne—”Dedication To My Ex (Miss That)”
#81
I wish this wasn’t such an obvious take off from Cee Lo’s “Fuck You”, not just in terms of lyrical content but in sound, as well. It’s very good, and Andre 3000 is great, but the imitative quality and the shallowness of it can’t be avoided. “Fuck You” was great because Bruno Mars and Cee Lo live and breath retro soul; Lloyd is just following in their footsteps, not forging a path of his own. That may be his whole problem: as much as I’ve enjoyed his music, I still have no idea who Lloyd is.

Jason DeRulo—”Fight For You”
#83
I thought retro-sampling had hit bottom with Gym Class Heroes’ borrowings from Supertramp, but it’s impossible to underestimate the crassness of pop culture. Just when I thought DeRulo might be worth listening to, he comes up with this. I realize that sampling the African chants from “Wanna Be Starting Something” is cliche, but Toto is not an adequate replacement. Not at all. What could possibly be next and/or worse? Pablo Cruise?

Blink 182—”After Midnight”
#88
These guys have matured enough that they don’t ruin their mediocre song with meaningless histrionics, and Travis Barker is a damn good drummer. It’s still a mediocre song, though, sung by very mediocre singers.

Luke Bryan—”I Don’t Want This Night to End”
#90
I really enjoy the way the melody of this flows and changes pace as it goes along, creating a romantic atmosphere all on its own. Which is good, because the arrangement, the vocals, and the lyrics do nothing to add to the feeling.

Zac Brown Band—”Keep Me In Mind”
#99
Brown is a one-man 70′s retro movement. So far he’s focused on the laid back sound of Jimmy Buffet and the somnambulist crooning of James Taylor, but here he ups the tempo and the tension by recreating the muzak-americana of the pre-Michael McDonald Doobie Brothers. All he has to do now is tour with Fleet Foxes and take over the world by putting it to sleep.

China Anne McClain—”Calling All the Monsters”
#100
Leave it to Disney to turn Britney’s Spear’s current sound into family-safe Halloween music. They do it very well, too. This is brighter and snappier than Spear’s has been in a while, and though the voices are young, this is never corny or cheesy. It’s a good, catchy, electro-influenced dance track. Not to mention that it cuts Lady Gaga off at the pass, keeping her from releasing a seasonal record along the same lines.

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Hot 100 Roundup—10/8/11

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

Rihanna featuring Calvin Harris—”We Found Love”
#16
It’s not as great, but this may be Rihanna’s most enjoyable single since “Umbrella”. That said, I do worry, though it’s not surprising, that she’s still using her relationship with Chris Brown to fuel her inspiration. This is obvious not just from the recently released video, but also from her choice of collaborator. Harris, who had one of his beats copied wholesale without credit by Brown last year, must have gotten a lot of enjoyment out of putting this together. I bet Rihanna called him as soon as the story broke. It also explains the icy feel of the track: it’s a dish served cold.

Glee Cast
“It’s Not Unusual”, #65
“You Can’t Stop the Beat”, #67
“We Got the Beat”, #83

Birdman featuring Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne—”Y.U. Mad”
#68
Good beat, the usual goodness from Minaj (hell, I’d listen to an entire Nickelback album if she were featured on every cut), and Birdman, though he spouts nothing but cliches, is at least in good form. As for Wayne, his rap is nothing special (for him), but for the first time since he got out of prison he sounds awake. Maybe he needs to toss out a few dozen guest spots to get back to form. Or maybe Minaj pricked his conscious with her “female Weezy” schtick.

Demi Lovato
“Fix a Heart”, #69
“Unbroken”, #98
It’s a credit to Lovato’s talents as a vocalist that she can glide over lines like “I just ran out of band aids” and ridiculous rhymes like “you can bandage the damage” and still make them sound musical. And it’s a credit to her strength as a human being that she can write a song like “Unbroken”, where she reclaims and swears by the emotional openness that got her into trouble in the first place. So maybe she won’t turn into Connie Francis. She still oversings, though, and she still has to find better material and put it together with more care: the techno backing on “Unbroken” doesn’t fit her voice at all.

Jason Aldean—”Tattoos On This Town”
#81
For Aldean, this cliched nostalgia bomb is actually a step up—better this than another overloud power ballad. He’s still terrible, though. And I really wish he’d found another way to approach the verse about swinging out on a rope over the swimming hole; the way he does it now I always expect him to describe a lynching.

Eric Church—”Drink In My Hand”
#96
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 8/13/11

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Hot 100 Roundup—10/17/10

Sunday, October 24th, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Speak Now”
#8
Another cute fairy tale, a song form at which Swift has become an absolute master. Sassy, funny, and sharply observed as always, only this one is streaked with some real bitterness, including details and descriptions that would be considered, um, mean coming from anyone else. As the title cut from the new album, it obviously serves as justification for the deeper anger that permeates some of the other songs. Like most fairy tales, however, this ends at the point of victory, and says nothing about the aftermath. Which makes me wonder if Swift, both as a character in her songs and as a real person, is ready for the tempest she’s stirring up.

Kanye West featuring Pusha T—”Runaway”
#12
Ever since 808s and Heartbreak, and even more so since his disastrous VMA fuck-up, the main focus of Kanye West’s audience, and certainly the press, has been not his music, but his state of mind. Is he falling apart? Does he regret what he’s done? Will he apologize? Will the new record present a more humble, subdued Yeezy? The answers so far (No. Yes. Sort of. Are you kidding me?) are fascinating in their way, but they distract from the main point, which is the music. In the last three months he’s released two excellent official singles, plus a boatload of good to great tracks as part of the G.O.O.D. Friday download series, and all I read on the blogs and in comment sections is analysis of his emotional ups and downs, as if every new piece of music were nothing more than the latest installment in a soap opera: Kanye West and the Price of Fame or As the Rapper Yearns. Part of this is West’s fault—his self-absorption is far beyond the call of duty of even the most egotistical rappers—but at the same time he’s one of the few whose work lives up to their own hype. And even if the latest records break little new ground—“Power” harks all the way back to The College Dropout, while “Runaway” sounds like an 808s track with some pop sweetening—the ideas he’s already dug up would be enough to fuel any number of lifelong careers. If, that is, he doesn’t drive his into the ground by making music about nothing but himself. It’s a narrowing of the palette that few artists survive, no matter how brilliant they are. I just hope this album gets it all out of his system and he can go on to something else.

Glee Cast
“I Want To Hold Your Hand”, #36
“One Of Us”, #37
“Only the Good Die Young”, #50
“Losing My Religion”, #60
“Papa Can You Hear Me?”, #65
“Bridge Over Troubled Water”, #73
“I Look To You”, #74

P!nk—”Raise Your Glass”
#51
For a Max Martin-produced party record this is surprisingly stiff, never more so than in the throwaway vocal interjections that are supposed to provide that loose, freaky atmosphere (and all the jokes). It’s all far too calculated and machine-tooled, without a single moment left to chance. I don’t know if this is Martin’s fault or P!nk’s, but it sure isn’t freaky.

Bruno Mars—”The Lazy Song”
#82
Dear Bruno Mars: You can be a pop guy with serious undertones, or you can be a serious guy with an instinctive pop sensibility, but you cannot be Jack Johnson with keyboards. Not if you want any respect, that is.

A Rocket To the Moon—”Like We Used To”
#91
One of those records that’s upended by the details guys like this learn to put into their songs in their Songwriting 101 class. Pleading with an ex-girlfriend you caught naked in a car with somebody else fourteen months ago does not make you sensitive or passionate—it makes you a wimp. As does the music and the vocals.

Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina—”Stereo Love”
#93
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/10/10

David Guetta featuring Kid Cudi—”Memories”
#94
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/3/10

Shakira featuring Dizzee Rascal—”Loca”
#98
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/10/10

Bubbling Under

Justin Moore—”How I Got To Be This Way”
#101
By being kicked in the head by a horse, apparently. This explains a lot.

Ne-Yo—”One In a Million”
#102
This is the catchiest and most pop-oriented of the preview singles off Ne-Yo’s new album, which also means it’s the most familiar sounding and the most ordinary. Ne-Yo’s style and class set him apart from almost everybody else on the chart, but they also hold him back somehow. It feels as if he’s not telling us everything he could because he’s afraid of stepping outside of the image he’s concocted for himself. Maybe it’s time for him to be a little less of a gentleman, or at least find an outlet for the tension that stance implies.

Trace Adkins—”This Ain’t No Love Song”
#103
In fact, it’s barely a song at all.

Luke Bryan—”Someone Else Calling You Baby”
#104
Bryan is a decent, mid-level country singer, and this is interesting for being essentially 70s country pop with a more soulful, modern rock setting, The Bellamy Brothers turned up to 11. Past 11, actually, which is the problem.

Willow—”Whip My Hair”
#105
This is far better than anyone had a right to suspect, and surprising, as well. Willow’s voice is literally unbelievable—it’s not just the strength, but the mature phrasing—if I hadn’t already known I never would have suspected her real age; I would have gone for thirty. The track is rougher than you’d think, as well, a poppified mix of electro and crunk that never lets up. Tougher than anything her dad ever did, that’s for sure.

My Darkest Days featuring Ludacris—”Porn Star Dancing”
#106
With Nickleback’s Chad Kroeger as co-writer and co-producer doing his best 3Oh!3 impersonation, the presence of Ludacris helps this record achieve a perfect storm of demographic triangulation. The sheer commercial shamelessness of it almost makes its stripper pole sleaze appealing. Kind of catchy, too.

Lifehouse—”All In”
#108
If it were anybody else turning to poker metaphors to describe their passion, I’d assume they were shooting for a country crossover, but these guys sound like the same old boring rockers they’ve always been. Only without hooks. It doesn’t mean much to go all in if all you’ve got left is a couple of bucks.

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New this week—8/15/10

Monday, August 16th, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Mine”
#3
After two albums chronicling teenage life and daydreams, as Swift nears 21 she has no choice but to move on to a more adult perspective. Problem is she’s had no real adult life to write about (unless touring and promotion count), so the details here, though they sound authentic enough, carry no emotional resonance–they’re just the imaginings of an astute and intelligent songwriter who’s still learning her craft. The result is technically flawless but stiff and lifeless. I can’t see Swift ever turning into a hack, but she’s got some real living to do before she can fulfill the promise of her first two records.

Linkin Park—”The Catalyst”
#35
I can’t say for sure that this is the worst record ever made—I’d have to wade through too much dreck to find out—but it sure is close. Loud boys with loud toys and no brains.

Sean Kingston featuring Nicki Minaj—”Letting Go (Dutty Love)”
#46
If Kingston has to change it’s better he go dancehall than anything else, and this is far less irritating than his last couple of singles. But even if you give Nicki Minaj credit for name-checking Hugh Hefner and rastafari in the same line, it isn’t terribly exciting

Jay Sean featuring Nicki Minaj—”2012 (It Ain’t the End)”
#50
When your music is this generic it’s not a good idea to dare comparisons to Prince, who has owned this particular theme for almost thirty years. Though it’s tempting to think that records like this may have been exactly what the Mayans were talking about.

Katy Perry—”Not Like the Movies”
#53
Released as a pre-album teaser (“Look! There’s a ballad, too!”), and we can only hope that it never qualifies as an actual single. I appreciate Perry’s daring, but if she’s going to be this hokey and over the top she needs a beat. Let’s face it, sincerity, even feigned sincerity, does not become her.

Daughtry—”September”
#94
I’m not sure which is the bigger surprise: that Daughtry is still milking their second album, or that some people are still buying it. At least Nickelback’s songs have hooks.

The Script—”The Man Who Can’t Be Moved”
#96
The last verse, where the singer fantasizes about becoming famous for camping out on a street corner waiting for his girl to come back, is clever, but it doesn’t come close to saving the song, which is as generic and musically unimaginative as they come. Do these guys call themselves The Script because they think they’re writing one, or because they’re following one?

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New this week—4/18/10

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

Jack Johnson—”You and Your Heart”
#20
Jack Johnson hates haters. Ooh, he hates those haters. He hates haters because they do hateful things like have standards and because their hearts are somehow disconnected from their bodies. (Jack Johnson’s heart is connected directly to his body, and he’s got the song catalog to prove it.) He hates haters so much he lets his guitar distort—just a little, not too much—and convinces his band to play like they hate haters, too. He almost sounds angry. If those haters keep hating he might just go insane. Let’s try it and see.

Jamie Foxx Featuring Justin Timberlake & T.I.—”Winner”
#28
Like all of Foxx’s hits, this one gets the credits wrong—it should be “T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake and some other guy”. I’d give Foxx credit this time out for rapping in his own voice, except he doesn’t have one (he doesn’t dare imitate anybody who can actually sing or rap without technological aid). He is skillful at getting good material out of his “guests”, though. Timberlake actually sounds interested, and T.I. walks off with the record, which he treats as if it were his latest comeback single. Considering how his first comeback single is doing, it may well be.

B.o.B.—”Don’t Let Me Fall”
#67
Aside from the fact that B.o.B. can’t sing, isn’t it a little early in his career to be trotting out the rap equivalent of a demographic-widening power ballad? That’s the third single, dude. Second single’s supposed to be the damn!-look-at-how-famous-I-am record. You’re getting everything out of order.

Nickelback—”This Afternoon”
#84
Tempo-wise, these guys have only one gear, second, but they seem to think that being loud and gruff makes up for this. It doesn’t. This is all about chilling on a sunny afternoon, but it doesn’t chill, and it isn’t sunny, and it forces me to the conclusion that their deliberate lack of subtlety isn’t a stylistic choice or commercial calculation–they honestly lack the ability to play any other way. I’d almost feel sorry for them if I thought they were smart enough to recognize it.

Miranda Cosgrove—”Kissin U”
#87
For it’s latest foray into the Disney-owned tween pop universe, Nickelodeon brings out the big guns, hiring Dr. Luke to produce what sounds like a Kelly Clarkson reject sung by a teenage girl who’s been listening to too much Ke$ha. Not that Dr. Luke isn’t constantly trying something new; here he experiments with the idea of a chorus that is actually more sluggish than the verses. Needless to say, this isn’t a good idea, but no one involved with this record seems to have noticed that, or to care.

Alicia Keys—”Unthinkable (I’m Ready)”
#88
Wait a minute—how old is Alicia Keys? She must be old enough to not consider sleeping with somebody as “the unthinkable”. Is this written from a teenager’s perspective? The music, all slow-grind and heavy percussion, certainly doesn’t sound like it. If it’s about cheating there’s no sign of that either. Does she have any idea what she’s doing at all?

Breaking Benjamin—”Give Me a Sign (Forever And Ever)”
#97
I’d have a lot more respect for Christian metal if what I heard of it wasn’t so one dimensional. It’s all about suffering and pain, the sonic equivalent of The Passion of the Christ, with flagellation and crucifixion replaced by headbanging and bleeding ears. I suppose it’s meant to be cathartic, but how can it be when they do the same thing over and over again? Apparently, as that model Christian, Jacqueline Susann, put it, once is never enough.

Kelly Clarkson—”All I Ever Wanted”
#99
God, I wish Kelly Clarkson picked better material. She sings this perfectly, but it isn’t much of a song, and though I don’t expect masterpieces four singles into a Clive Davis-managed pop album this should be better than it is. As a more subdued version of the stuff she did on My December I suppose it could be considered a step in the right direction, but the real problem with that album wasn’t musical overkill (though that was a problem) so much as the weakness of the material. Maybe this will grow on me the way “Already Gone” did. But “Already Gone” stayed in one place and drove its point home. The greatest singer in the world couldn’t save a song as confused as this one.

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New this week—12/13/09

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

Glee Cast—”Last Christmas”
#63
Unlike the other twenty (!!!) songs Glee has put on the Hot 100 this year, this one seems perfectly designed for the sort of bland vocal treatment the show specializes in. It is a Christmas song, after all, and considering how much breathy echo was layered onto Wham!’s original version, it was practically a Glee song already. Except for the intro to “Don’t Stop Believin’” (all the way back in the pilot), this is the best thing they’ve done. And I don’t care if I ever hear it again.

Daughtry—”After You”
#66
Blander even than Nickelback, and therefore less offensive. Also less interesting, which is a kind of negative achievement, I suppose. The only positive is that Chris Daughtry still makes me believe he’s singing to his wife. I just hope she doesn’t fall asleep in the middle of it.

Orianthi—”According To You”
#67
Conceptually, the guitar shredding on this Kelly Clarkson knock-off makes sense. The attitude she gets from her boyfriend is probably much like the attitude she gets from guys who don’t believe women can play lead guitar. Musically, though, it’s as empty and meaningless as most shredding for shredding’s sake, and decidedly out of place in a Kelly Clarkson knock-off. It would also help if she could sing anywhere near as well as she can play.

Nick Jonas & the Administration—”Who I Am”
#73
Anybody who calls this a country move has obviously never heard any country. It’s more like a John Mayer record with leaden lyrics and duller chord changes. Minus the bombast provided by his brothers, Jonas sounds overwrought and out of place, as if he had no idea who he was at all.

Timbaland Featuring Justin Timberlake—”Carry Out”
#75
I hate to get all PC all of a sudden, but I can’t think of anything more sexist than comparing a woman to food that, no matter how tasty it may be, is picked up largely because it demands nothing from the man but ready cash and doesn’t require any messy clean up. You know, like a prostitute? Serves them right that the record’s so dull.

Pitbull featuring Akon—”Shut It Down”
#85
Akon is supposed to provide the hook, but all he does is get in Pitbull’s way. Without him this could be one of the club jams of the year. It was nice of Pitbull to give the poor guy a break, I guess, but I look forward to a remix that’s all Pitbull and his harsh minimalist electronics, and no Akon at all.

Phoenix—”1901″
#90
For the life of me I cannot figure out the appeal of these Frenchmen. To me, they’re The Eagles of indie, inspired by of Montreal instead of Graham Parsons. Apparently their Grammy nomination for Best Alternative Album has generated enough buzz to get them into the Hot 100. Which is interesting, since their appearance on Saturday Night Live earlier this year couldn’t do it. Who knew the Grammies had such influence over alternative fans’ buying habits?

The Script—”Breakeven”
#96
Better than The Fray or OneRepublic, if only because they seem less self-involved and overwrought. But then, how good do you have to be to be better than The Fray or OneRepublic?

Toby Keith featuring Dave Koz, Marcus Miller & Arthur Thompson—”Cryin’ For Me (Wayman’s Song)”
#97
Whatever real emotion may be behind this song (the lyrics have their touching moments) is lost in Keith’s apparent ambition to crossover into Lite Jazz territory. Nothing like expanding that radio outreach.

Timbaland featuring Katy Perry—”If We Ever Meet Again”
#99
Timbaland’s M.O. these days appears to be applying his tried and true production techniques to current hit makers in the hope of not only generating hits but revving his own creative juices. So far, it doesn’t seem to be working on either count. Here he sounds almost desperate in his desire to do something new and interesting. The result is a bunch of cliches jammed together, and not very well either.

Brad Paisley—”American Saturday Night”
#100
Though the comparison may sound odd, it seems to me that Paisley is everything that John Mayer is supposed to be. An intelligent, daring, witty, unbelievably talented songwriter and guitarist (will somebody please put him on a stage with Richard Thompson? please?), who is also humble, self-deprecating, devoid of flash, and refuses to play down to his audience intellectually or emotionally. The difference is that, unlike Mayer, Paisley seems to be totally lacking in self-consciousness—he says what he wants to say, plays what he wants to play, and never for a moment worries about what people think of him. Whether or not this brilliant record, which in theme is the exact opposite of the xenophobic, jingoistic rants that have plagued country music for decades, will be a hit is of absolutely no interest to Paisley. It probably will be. He’ll appreciate it, and find it sort of funny in a way, but it won’t affect his music one way or the other. He takes things so easy that even those who admire him don’t seem to realize that he’s probably the greatest country musician of his generation. Here’s hoping he’s the most influential, as well.

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New this week

Sunday, August 9th, 2009

T.I. featuring Mary J. Blige—”Remember Me”
#29
The verse about his woman cheating on him while he’s in the joint sounds real enough, but it doesn’t matter, because T.I. loses me on the very first line, where he compares himself to Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcom X. Is it even necessary to point out to anyone but right wing gun nuts the difference between being arrested fighting for your civil rights and a federal weapons violation (for that matter, did Malcolm X do jail time for anything but being a pimp?)? Of course, the line goes perfectly with the over-the-top production and Blige’s prayerful chorus. Did I really believe that T.I. had changed? I may have to take it all back.

Toby Keith—”American Ride”
#54
Despite it’s jingoistic tone, this is really about tolerance and loving this crazy country of ours, liberal or conservative, black or white, Democrat or Republican, rich or poor, right or left. Too bad all his examples seem to come off The O’Reilly Factor.

David Guetta featuring Akon—”Sexy Bitch”
#56
I like the conceit of the hook line, “I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful”, but the music is like Kid Cudi’s “Day ‘n’ Night” badly welded onto Sean Kingston’s “Fire Burning”, and Akon’s vocals lack whatever distinctiveness they once had. He also sounds uncertain—that hook line may as well have his fingerprints on it, but it sounds like Guetta is singing it. After the relative failure of Akon’s loverman album, this half-hearted return to his player ways suggests confusion about how to recover from all that bad publicity a couple of years ago. It will be interesting to see how this pans out. It has all the marks of a hit, but I think Akon’s blown whatever goodwill he had going for him. And I don’t think anybody’s going to turn this into a wedding video.

Tim McGraw—”It’s A Business Doing Pleasure With You”
#73
No kidding. Except this is so plodding there isn’t even any pleasure involved. Co-written by Chad Kroeger of Nickelback, which figures.

Jay-Z, Rihanna, & Kanye West–”Run This Town”
#88
Jay-Z’s career is becoming confusing. On American Gangster he was on top of his game, cool and confident. Without Denzel Washington’s example, however, he seems a little more insecure. “D.O.A.” was just dumb, and this negates a not bad black pride rap by ending with West belittling a woman for having less fashion sense than he does. And why would anyone who hates autotune feature Rihanaa, who sounds like a machine even without the help of special effects? If these guys are the new Rat Pack, then this is the original Oceans 11: lazy, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied.

Michelle Branch—”Sooner Or Later”
#93
Second-rate Taylor Swift, just the thing to revive a rapidly dwindling career.

Uncle Kracker–”Smile”
#95
Kid Rock cohort turns into Daniel Powter knock-off. He’s still trailer trash, but now his trailer’s on the beach.

Martina McBride—”I Just Call You Mine”
#97
Before the country banality and the usual Nashville overarranging take over, McBride confirms what a sharp and intelligent singer she can be. By the end of the first chorus, though, she’s just another country diva singing what’s been handed to her. I don’t know if McBride deserves better or not (she co-produced this, so she takes a greater share of the blame than usual), but her voice sure does.

Parachute—”She Is Love”
#98
This sounds like the intro to what could be a really nice love song. Too bad nobody wrote the rest of it.

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New this week

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Shakira—“She Wolf”
#34
If you’re going to go retro disco, Shakira says, go all the way–and she does. The sheer silliness of this record is dazzling. The bubbling bass line, the funk guitar, the distorted vocals, the panting, the strings. She even sings in a voice reminiscent of the phonetic pronunciation of German disco. And the lyrics, translated from Spanish, sound like bad subtitles. “Darling it is no joke, this is lycanthropy.” “I’m starting to feel just a little abused/like a coffee machine in an office.” “Nocturnal creatures are not so prudent.” She wolf, my ass, Shakira’s turned herself into something even better: the love child of Abba and Boney M.

OneRepublic with Sara Bareilles—“Come Home”
#80
The most hilariously awful record of 2009. The giggles start on the very first line—“Hello world, I hope you’re listening”—and when Ryan Tedder slips into his falsetto I totally lose it. Bareilles does her part as well, with a “yeah” that’s a perfect parody of singer-songwriter faux soulfulness. The laughs continue to the very end, where Tedder and Bareilles exchange urgent “come homes” and the piano finishes with a grace chord that’s the ultimate mixture of meaningless sentiment and pop smarm. Granted, the joke may sour a bit when this shows up in the repertoire of endless American Idol contestants, but for the moment it’s the best laugh the Hot 100 has given me all year. Flight of the Conchords couldn’t have done it any better.

Drake featuring Trey Songz—“Successful”
#89
This is smart, funny, and honest, but it also sounds, at first, like a mix tape goof that came off better than anyone had anticipated. The pivot point is Drake’s “I suppose”, which sound like nothing but lyrical filler at first, but ultimately provides the sense of self-doubt that drives the record and makes it something deeper than the usual “I want money” rap. Successful? What does that mean?

Jason Mraz—“If It Kills Me”
#92
If you overplay cute it curdles, and when your only talent is a certain offhand charm, it’s best not to go on for four and half minutes and overload your arrangement with strings. It makes you look even shallower than you really are.

Daughtry—“You Don’t Belong”
#95
The problem with post-grunge overkill is that what it usually kills is the emotion that inspired the song in the first place. This time, somehow, it doesn’t. I’d make no case for this being a great song, but whatever frustrations it’s meant to express come across despite its flaws. I don’t know if it’s the changes in vocal texture, the weird breaks in the meter, or just the way Daughtry shouts “No!” at the beginning of each chorus, but as one dimensional as the emotion may be, at least it’s there. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can say for Nickelback.

Darryl Worley—“Sounds Like Life To Me”
#99
Loaded with all sorts of homey details, just like a good country song is supposed to be, and yet it still sounds as phony as a three dollar bill. Not only does this not sound like life, it doesn’t sound like much of anything at all. But then, how many variations on “Shit Happens” can you produce and still make it register?

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