Posts Tagged ‘Pitbull’

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Hot 100 Roundup—6/25/11

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

Paramore—”Monster”
#36
As their craft improves their energy, though still strong, becomes more streamlined and automatic, and less interesting. This is above-average pop-metal, but if the song weren’t so obviously about the band’s fractious split last year, would anybody care?

Brad Paisley with Carrie Underwood—”Remind Me”
#59
Frustrating. It’s a good idea for a song, the chorus is cute and catchy, and Paisley’s first guitar solo is as erotic as country ever gets. But Paisley loses control of this record somehow, which is rare for him. By the end, the arrangement seems designed to drown out the singers, and since we’re talking about Carrie Underwood, more drowning out is required than normal ears can stand; some of her high notes are so piercing they could be used in invisible fencing systems.

Pitbull—”Pause”
#73
A gimmicky confection based on what I assume is a Euro-disco sample, which, coming from Pitbull, is just about my favorite sub-genre right now. It gets a bit tiresome when you sit and listen, but I bet it kills on the dance floor. Pitbull isn’t a genius, but he knows what he wants and he knows how to get it. His single-mindedness may be his greatest virtue.

Dia Frampton—”Heartless”
#78
I’ve been debating whether I should refuse to comment on The Voice singles the same way I have Glee, and this record, horrible in every way, certainly makes me lean in that direction. I understand the power of television to make hits, but this, even more than Glee, is an unjustifiable waste of time and energy. It isn’t a waste of talent though, because no actual talent is involved.

Selena Gomez & the Scene—”Bang Bang Bang”
#94
What has always separated producers Tim James and Antonina Armato (otherwise known, unfortunately, as Rockmafia) from their Disney-pop colleagues is the undercurrent of smoldering eroticism that runs through their music. Even though they’re making straight pop records in a time of excess, they almost always keep their cool, and rarely overplay their hand. Gomez, it turns out, is the perfect delivery system for their brand of low-key sensuality: relaxed, knowing, and all-powerful without once raising her voice or engaging in meaningless melisma, she sounds more mature and experienced than not only her own 18 years, but than most 30-year-olds. The obvious double entendre of the title may make the message too clear, but even without it everyone would know exactly what this guy will be missing. And yet radio still treats Gomez like she’s kid’s stuff.

Toby Keith—”Made In America”
#95
In a way it’s a relief that Keith saved his jingoistic nonsense for the fourth or fifth single off his new album. He’s probably as tired of this stuff as most everyone else, and only does it because it’s expected of him. If the earlier tracks had been more successful he probably wouldn’t have released this as a single at all. But here it is all the same, another stolid piece of propaganda, country-style, all about the patriotic act of paying a little more for locally produced goods (maybe he should join the locavore movement). Odd exception: the King James bible. Keith must know that’s not really an American product, right?

Gavin DeGraw—”Not Over You”
#96
Ryan Tedder, as producer, continues his way down the pop music foodchain and finds a willing victim in DeGraw, who hasn’t had a decent hit since his debut six years ago and welcomes Tedder and his echoey drums with open arms. The result is old-school faux-soulful sincerity updated with new-school faux-soulful sincerity. Just what we’ve all been waiting for.

Romeo Santos—”You”
#97
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/28/11

Martina McBride—”Teenage Daughters”
#100
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/16/11

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Hot 100 Roundup—6/18/11

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

Coldplay—”Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall”
#29
Producer Brian Eno continues to toughen them up musically, but the lyrics are as self-obsessed as ever. This one posits romantic revolution for record nerds, where sitting in your room and listening to daring and difficult music is a rebellious act that ends in you raising your fist against something or other somewhere out in the real world. And then you feel sorry for yourself. Not even Eno can ring the sentimentality out of crap as earnest and determined as this.

Pitbull featuring Chris Brown—”International Love”
#59
On the chorus, Chris Brown’s idea of international appears not to extend beyond the continental U.S. The hook is catchy, though, and Pitbull makes up for Brown’s narrowness with an itinerary that starts in Rumania (where a pair of sisters offer themselves to him) and includes Lebanon and most of South America. Compared to his last couple of appearances, Pitbull sounds rejuvenated, especially near the end, when he switches effortlessly between English and Spanish. His voice is his main attraction, but Pitbull doesn’t get near enough credit for his rapping, which is fluid not only linguistically but rhythmically. I find his eurodisco-based beats a bit heavy-handed, but that’s what a club banger is supposed to be.

Beyonce—”Best Thing I Never Had”
#84
Though she tries hard, too hard, to separate herself from the norm, Beyonce fits perfectly into one standard mold: the mid-career pop artist desperate to be taken seriously. Her attempts to break free are, in fact, a symptom of the problem. This is terrible in almost every way: over-arranged, melodramatic, badly sung (when Beyonce wants to sound angry she tends to bellow), with lyrics whose artlessness may be designed to counteract the dramatic production but only succeed in exacerbating the problem. By the time she shouts out “Sucks to be you right now” it’s impossible not to wonder what the hell she was thinking when she recorded this. That she was doing something different and daring, I bet.

Linkin Park—”Iridescent”
#86
I can’t stand these guys, but they are entertaining. This may be the funniest hard rock record since Queensryche’s “Silent Lucidity”, though it doesn’t come close to Queensryche’s preening, pretentious stupidity. It doesn’t even set a record for cliches, since just about any romantic lyricist could beat them in a walk. For sheer boilerplate existential despair, though, no one can touch them, and the first verse, which I feel a duty to quote in full, is a masterpiece:

You were standing in the wake of devastation
And you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
And with the cataclysm raining down
Insides crying “Save me now”
You were there, impossibly alone

It’s even funnier when Mike Shinoda sings it.

Trey Songz featuring Drake—”Unusual”
#90
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 6/4/11

Rodney Atkins—”Take A Back Road”
#92
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/21/11

Victorious Cast featuring Victoria Justice—”Best Friend’s Brother”
#93
I love the bridge, like the chorus, but could care less about the verses, which are standard, streamlined punk-pop. All the same, Nickelodeon is getting better at mining the Disney-pop model, and Justice, who has a co-writing credit, may be a real talent. Especially if she wrote that bridge.

Andy Grammer—”Keep Your Head Up”
#94
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 6/11/11

Rej3ctz—”Cat Daddy”
#97
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/23/11

Trace Adkins—”Just Fishin’”
#98
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/21/11

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Bubbling Under—4/16/11

Wednesday, April 20th, 2011

Jennifer Lopez featuring Lil Wayne—”I’m Into You”
#101
I like this better than “On the Floor”, even though it’s less forward looking in style. But that’s only because I like Shakira, who Lopez blatantly imitates here, better than Pitbull. Lil Wayne adds nothing, which I’m hoping doesn’t become a habit.

Toby Keith—”Somewhere Else”
#112
Self-doubt may be the exact opposite of what Toby Keith is famous for, but he is sure is good at faking it. Helps that he’s such a craftsman: this record isn’t exactly profound, but it’s perfectly put together. He’s no genius; he’s just a journeyman.

Dierks Bentley—”Am I the Only One”
#117
No, Dierks, you’re not the only one. I’m sure somebody else must have ripped off the tune of The Lovin’ Spoonful’s “Jug Band Music” before this (and who knows where John Sebastian found it). They just weren’t so blatant about it.

Martina McBride—”Teenage Daughters”
#118
I’ve never paid much attention to McBride, but maybe I should, because this is a great record, low-key and warm in a way most Nashville singles aren’t these days. It’s a little too long, and I don’t think there was any real reason to repeat the intro at the end, but, with the exception of Sunny Sweeney, it’s still the best country record I’ve heard this year. The middle eight is perfect: “They’re beautiful, wild and free/Everything we wish we could be/But they’re still crazy”. I hope McBride continues down this road; it’s exactly where she should be.

Hot Chelle Rae—”Tonight Tonight”
#123
Another bunch of privileged white boys form a band, with the twist that this time they’re from Nashville–their fathers are all successful songwriters and/or session men. The results don’t sound all that special, though: clean-cut punk-pop with a heavy Cars influence. They could be stars on Nickelodeon or the Disney channel anytime they want.

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Hot 100 Roundup—4/16/11

Monday, April 18th, 2011

Wiz Khalifa—”When I’m Gone”
#57
In which Khalifa proudly explains why he doesn’t really give a shit. It’s not “When I’m Gone” as in “I know you’ll miss me but you’ll get by”; it’s “By the time I die I’ll have spent all my money and you guys won’t get jack.” Why? Because he can, that’s why. You don’t honestly believe he thinks about this stuff, do you?

Pitbull featuring Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer—”Give Me Everything”
#60
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/9/11

Sara Ramirez—”The Story”
#69
Having pioneered the commercial endorsement of music in prime time, Grey’s Anatomy finds itself behind the curve and goes Glee on us and lets one of its cast members throw a record together over a weekend and release it for purchase. For all you Katy Perry haters who wonder what she’d sound like without the assistance of Dr. Luke and Max Martin, here’s your answer. I don’t think even Perry would be this off-key on the loud parts, though.

Britney Spears—”I Wanna Go”
#73
I suppose it’s healthy on a personal level that Spears is now making jokes on the same subject she sang so passionately about just a few years ago. It’s good she’s over it, but the loss in both intensity and musical value is obvious. Besides, whenever Spears tries to be funny it always sounds forced. “Lably, lably, lably”, indeed.

Victorious Cast featuring Victoria Justice—”Beggin’ On Your Knees”
#83
Nickelodeon’s campaign to wrest the teenpop crown away from the wounded Disney is so intense that it’s almost fascinating in its own right. It must be expensive, too, bringing in producers like Dr. Luke, Max Martin, and, in this case, Shellback, to boost your chosen teen idols. Too bad those first rate producers are only bringing their second rate material. I mean, did Katy Perry and Kelly Clarkson already reject this, or did Shellback not even bother offering it to them?

YC featuring Future—”Racks”
#86
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/2/11

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Bubbling Under—4/9/11

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

Owl City featuring Shawn Chrystopher—”Alligator Sky”
#105
Shawn’s Chrystopher’s B.o.B. impersonation does a good job of beefing up Owl City’s usual wimpiness, and the music sounds tougher and more strenuous. The lyrics are the same old fluffy nonsense, though—I can buy the title as a description of a certain kind of cloud-studded sky, but I have no idea what that image actually signifies—and Adam Young’s vocals simper even more than usual. He sounds like a text-to-speech sample, only with less humanity.

Pitbull featuring Ne-Yo, AfroJack & Nayer—”Give Me Everything”
#7
Overwrought and underwritten, this record represents a low point for everyone involved, including AfroJack and Nayer, neither of whom I’ve ever heard of. Ne-Yo, who’s been having a lousy year, at least in commercial terms, provides the dullest hook I’ve ever heard from him. Pitbull, meanwhile, who’s been having an incredible year, sounds exhausted, almost burnt out, and the charming subtlety of his voice turns into a raspy, demanding car horn. Time for everybody to take a vacation.

Brad Paisley featuring Alabama—”Old Alabama”
#119
Leave it to Paisley to create a tribute track that far outstrips the people he’s supposedly paying tribute to. The worst moment of this record, in fact, the point where it turns from realistic country lust into sweet and sticky sentimentality, is when it’s namesakes make their appearance. Fortunately Paisley ignores them, turns up the tempo, and goes out on a high speed hoedown that outstrips not just Alabama, but everybody else in the business as well. It’s rude of Paisley to show up his elders like that, but since he only tolerates them so he can get laid, can you really blame him?

Reba—”If I Were a Boy”
#123
A terrible mistake, not because Reba can’t do justice to the song, but because it’s too young for her (it’s too young for Beyonce, as well, but not by so much that she can’t get away with it). You can hear the age and experience in Reba’s voice, and it’s impossible to believe that someone at that level of maturity would think about men in this way. She sounds like a cougar bemoaning the unfaithfulness of a younger man, which is an image too unwholesome to take pleasure in or evoke much in the way of sympathy. It is, in fact, kind of icky, especially with Reba attached to it. I never thought this was a particularly great song to begin with, but coming from Reba it seems bizarre.

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Hot 100 Roundup—3/12/11

Monday, March 7th, 2011

Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull—”On the Floor”
#9
Anyone with any sense knows why this debuted in the top ten. Lopez’s presence on American Idol may, in fact, be the only reason this record was made at all. Some people have already mentioned the irony involved in Lopez coaching singers when she doesn’t have much of a voice herself, but weak vocals are the least of this record’s problems, which is such a blatant grab-bag of current dance floor trends that even Pitbull sounds a little unsure of it. You can’t say Lopez and her producer, RedOne, aren’t up-to-date, but ripping off a track as recognizable as “Stereo Love” when it’s just peaked on the charts is about as daring as this record gets. For anyone who may have wondered whether it was RedOne or Lady Gaga who provided the creative firepower on The Fame, this should answer your questions quite nicely.

Glee Cast
“Don’t You Want Me”, #49
“Blame It (On the Alcohol)”, #55
“Tik Tok”, #61
Back to normal.

Wiz Khalifa featuring Too $hort—”On My Level”
#52
Not a terrible track, but the presence of Too $hort makes me question Khalifa’s judgement. Too $hort is now too old to indulge in stimulants himself, so instead he talks about getting girls loaded so he can have his way with them. What a guy. Is this why some people are raving about Khalifa? Because he’s bringing back “real”, stupidly sexist hip-hop? As if it ever went away.

Adele
“Someone Like You”, #65
“Set Fire To the Rain”, #88
Adele has a voice—when she isn’t blasting like an air raid siren she manages to be both growly and vulnerable, with a touch of hysteria thrown in for good measure—but these are terrible songs, if they can even be graced with the designation of song at all. They’re set pieces for her voice; the lyrical blather serves as nothing but an indicator of what she’s getting so upset about. She’s young yet, so maybe she’ll learn, and when she gets around to making 35 she may even have something to say. But since her sales are encouraging her in the wrong direction, I don’t hold out much hope.

Big Time Rush featuring Snoop Dogg—”Boyfriend”
#79
Snoop teaming up with this Nickelodeon-sponsored boy band has a lot of people shaking their heads, but other than their choice of words and their preferred stimulants (Big Time Rush are high on life, you see), I don’t see much difference. Both have fairly shallow ideas about love and romance, one the result of inexperience, the other the result of too much experience. Snoop, of course, is super cool while BTR gush, but while BTR sees nothing but the stars in their own eyes, Snoop sees nothing but Gucci bags and the size of her thighs. Since they’re both looking for the wrong things, why shouldn’t they search together?

Mike Posner featuring Lil Wayne—”Bow Chicka Wow Wow”
#82
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/28/11

DJ Khaled featuring Rick Ross, Plies, Lil Wayne & T-Pain—”Welcome To My Hood”
#90
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/28/11

Kirk Franklin—”I Smile”
#97
I’d never heard of Franklin before this, and since he doesn’t actually sing on this track, I thought he was some sort of Prosperity Gospel preacher. But he has a long history on the gospel circuit and seems to be the real thing, though you’d never know it by listening to this happy jingle for Jesus. Not that it blatantly advertises itself as such: for the most part it’s a positivity anthem with a few religious references thrown in. It’s essentially all chorus, and though it seems friendly enough at first, it gets cloying fast, and then it goes on and on and doesn’t leave you alone, like a cheerful bus stop proselytizer who doesn’t recognize the fine line between being friendly and being an irritant. Franklin actually starts out irritating by dedicating the song to “depression, recession, and unemployment”, no doubt for opening desperate people’s hearts to the message of the church. Which is one of the reasons I, and many others, hate the church to begin with.

Joe Nichols—”The Shape I’m In”
#98
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/21/11

Aaron Lewis featuring George Jones & Charlie Daniels—”Country Boy”
#100
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/21/11

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Keeping score

Friday, December 3rd, 2010

Just FYI, this week’s Hot 100 includes four records featuring Drake, four featuring Pitbull, five from Glee, five produced and/or written by Max Martin, six produced and/or written by Dr. Luke, six featuring Nicki Minaj, six featuring Rihanna, and seven featuring, and/or written and/or produced by, Bruno Mars. So Mars wins for now. It’s a showbiz horse race, folks. It’s almost all we have left.

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Hot 100 Roundup—11/21/10

Saturday, November 27th, 2010

Glee Cast
“Teenage Dream”, #8
“Start Me Up/Living On a Prayer”, #31
“Stop! In the Name of Love/Free Your Mind”, #38
“One Love (People Get Ready)”, #41

The Black Eyed Peas—“The Time (Dirty Bit)”
#12
Since I didn’t listen to radio much in the late ’80s, the use of one of the more irritating hits of that period doesn’t bother me as much as it does some others (besides, will.i.am, with far less of a voice, still sings it better than Bill Medley did), but there’s no doubt that this record represents the group running in place, if not retreating a bit. This is nearly as good as anything on The E.N.D., but it doesn’t break any new ground (unless you consider letting Fergie play diva over minimalist dance grooves a step forward). The E.N.D., whatever you think about the music, was undoubtedly one of the more daring albums of the last few years in terms of a band remaking it’s sound and image, so it shouldn’t be a surprise if the Peas spin their wheels a bit this time out.

Kid Cudi
“Marijuana”, #54
“Scott Mescudi Vs. the World”, #92
These are good records—moody, reflective, self-absorbed but intelligent and with little evidence of self-pity. They’re only on the chart, though, because of 1) the tile; and 2) the presence of Cee-Lo Green. In other words, curiosity. Whether or not the audience is paying attention to what these songs, with their honest consideration of substance dependence, actually mean, is open to question. But Cudi deserves respect for putting the message out there.

Lupe Fiasco—“The Show Goes On”
#57
I like the sound of this, but it doesn’t really go anywhere. And I liked the sound a lot more when T.I. did it five years ago.

Jeremih featuring 50 Cent—“Down On Me”
#67
I like the music: a catchy pop mix of dancehall, dubstep, and hip-hop. But 50 Cent’s presence is a waste in more ways than one—even when he isn’t mumbling he utters nothing but cliches. Jeremih himself starts off shaky, but evens out once he gets to the hook. An interesting change of pace, but an uncertain one.

Lady Antebellum—“Hello World”
#70
When they sing about love, Lady Antebellum play it subdued and classy; they’re not great, but it’s a welcome change from the usual over-arranged country blather. Here, though, they’re delivering a message to the world, and they pull out all the stops and pump all the pedals at once. To compound their sins, their obvious inspiration is R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts”, both the song and the video, an exemplar of emotional intensity and restraint they warp and curdle for the purposes of their own soft-headed sentimentality before the end of the first verse. If this is how country music is going to move into the ‘90s, I prefer they stay where they are.

Jason Derulo—“What If”
#76
A power ballad written and produced by J.R. Rotem. Think about that for a minute.

Ke$ha—“Cannibal”
#77
Tastelessness can be a virtue in pop music, but only if you’re funny, or if you’re being tasteless about subjects people are (secretly) attracted to. This isn’t funny, and the cannibal demographic is, as I understand it, somewhat limited. It’s like a big budget version of a zombie movie–the effects are more expensive but somehow less impressive, and all the insane amateurism has been taken out and replaced with studio gloss, resulting in something that’s not only gross but boring.

Twista featuring Chris Brown—“Make A Movie”
#94
Fresh from his bunker, where it’s always 2003, Twista does his best to revive his video-porn fantasies, just like the good old days. Someone should take him aside and explain the difference between being retro and being in a rut.

Bubbling Under:

Sick Puppies—“Maybe”
#101
“Maybe I’m a dreamer/Maybe I’m misunderstood…” What else do you expect from a band that rose to fame via the “Free Hugs” movement? Yuck.

Train—“Marry Me”
#104
Having softened up the AC demographic with two kinda cute, uptempo ditties, Train goes in for the sentimental kill. Chances are, this will be in the AC top ten for the next year. I’ve only listened to it once and I’m already sick of it.

Don Omar & Lucenzo—“Danza Kurduro”
#105
Since I can’t understand the words (and even with a translation would probably miss subtleties that only native speakers would pick up), I’m not a good judge of this record. The music, though, sounds ordinary—the arrangement too busy, the production too harsh. Until I know better, I think I’ll stick with Pitbull.

Eric Benet—“Sometimes I Cry”
#106
This retro-soul number has it’s attributes: it’s not a bad song, and the arrangement has a nice, mid-’90s Prince feel to it. But Benet’s falsetto gets old fast, and when he strains it near the end that’s all you hear: no emotion, just strain.

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Hot 100 Roundup—11/14/10

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

Tim McGraw—”Felt Good On My Lips”
#26
This sounds sexier than most country, and I like the way McGraw changes up the meaning of the title line as he goes along; all very professional. Like a lot of country, though, the lines that are supposed to provide detail and a bit of humor tend to sound forced and out of place; he devotes so much time and energy to describing a mixed drink it’s impossible not to snort. Then it all ends with nothing more than a goodnight kiss. It might make a good joke song if McGraw upped the tempo, or a good romance song if you got the feeling there was the least possibility of romance. As it is, it’s nothing.

Ke$ha—”Sleazy”
#51
The chorus, with its echoes of both classic girl groups and post-punk girl bands, is enough to carry the rest of the song, which is hedonistic without being greedy, a smart move. Is she trying to reclaim “sleazy” the same way the riot grrrls tried to reclaim “slut”? It didn’t work the first time, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth trying again.

Nicki Minaj featuring Eminem—”Roman’s Revenge”
#56
Oddly enough, this otherwise awful record appears to mark the return of Eminem’s sense of humor. Needless to say, it’s a highly offensive sense of humor, and the laughs aren’t boffo, but he sounds even more on top of things here than he did on Recovery. Minaj, meanwhile, is completely out of her league (Lil Wayne must have been taking it easy on her), and the only good thing about her fake British accent is that it comes after all of Eminem’s bits so you can turn the damn thing off without feeling you’re going to miss something. The less said about Minaj’s choosen name for her alter ego, Roman Zolanski, the better. Slim Shady she ain’t.

Pitbull—“Bon Bon”
#61
“We No Speak Americano” hasn’t come close to finishing its chart run, but that doesn’t stop Pitbull from jumping aboard, and good for him. His perfect timing and sense of humor make the song both more bearable and may even give it some meaning, though since yo no hablo español, I couldn’t say what that would be. Chances are he’s just trying to pick up a girl.

Kenny Chesney—”Somewhere With You”
#67
There are hints of something deep and dark in the lyrics, maybe even a dose of reality, but Chesney delivers it all with his usual well-oiled aplomb, and by the end the record has turned into another one of his lady-pleasing “I wanna sleep with you tonight” songs. Even when he’s trying to be thoughtful the guy can’t resist shameless pandering.

T.I. (featuring Chris Brown)—”Get Back Up”
#70
It’s a surprise that not only is T.I.’s latest apology (or would this be his first?) is so light-hearted, it’s also so lightweight in terms of sound. You’d never know he had a care in the world, a feeling Chris Brown, even with his own history, only enlarges (I’ve never cared for him as a lead, but he’s a great background singer). T.I. is still harping on the haters, but at least he’s picking out the right haters, and not throwing insults out scattershot. I suspect the softness of the sound is an attempt to make him look like a nicer and more thoughtful guy than he may actually be, but at least he seems to be thinking about it.

Ricky Martin featuring Joss Stone—”The Best Thing About Me Is You”
#74
I bet this sounds better in Spanish. And I bet if I spoke Spanish I would think it sounds better in English. I’m glad Ricky Martin came out, but that doesn’t mean I want him to come back.

New Hollow—”Sick”
#86
Wannabe teen sensations steal their song structure from “Creep”, their riffs from The Who, their lyrical ideas from Mudhoney, and their overall vibe from, uh, The Records? Not The Records of “Starry Eyes”, unfortunately. More The Records of “Teenarama”, which isn’t bad, but isn’t great, either. I could do without the hurling sound effect at the end, but this is growing on me. They may not have enough sense to know how tasteless the idea of this song is, but I bet they wouldn’t care if they did. Who says power pop is dead?

Chris Young—”Voices”
#89
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 11/7/10

Jason Aldean with Kelly Clarkson—”Don’t You Wanna Stay”
#93
Good singer hooks up with great singer, and together they sing a terrible song and let the arrangement drown out their voices. I couldn’t care less about what Aldean does, but Clarkson deserves better, and there’s no reason to believe she’ll ever go out and get it or even realizes it exists. Her weakness for power ballads appears to be authentic, just like her voice. What a depressing combination.

Toby Keith—”Bullets in the Gun”
#97
This is overwrought and too reliant on cliches, but it’s nice to know that there’s at least one guy in Nashville who’s willing to keep some sort of edge in his songs and doesn’t make pretty in the face of all the women who want to bash in his headlights and gun him down with a shotgun. Despite his jingoistic sins in the past, he make no apologies, knows his own strengths, and refuses to retreat from the masculine turf he’s been plowing his whole career. Hell, he may be the only real man left in town.

Rock Mafia—”The Big Bang”
#98
A weird one. Forget their Disney pedigree for a moment and just listen to this thing: the vocals, Tim James electrically modified so that in some moments he sounds like Amy Winehouse and in others as if he were computer-generated, are odd enough, but the overall sound is an even stranger throwback to sixties movie music, albeit a little funkier. It could be a rejected James Bond theme from 30 years ago. The lyrics, which compare the jolt of lust to the creation of the universe, are out there, too. Then there’s the whistling. Maybe Disney provided them with the one thing many artists don’t realize they need: a leash.

Blake Shelton—”Who Are You When I’m Not Looking”
#99
First line, over gentle acoustic guitar and light brushes on the drums: “My oh my, you’re so good lookin’/Hold yourself together like a pair of bookends”. After an opening like that the song has no choice but to get better, and it does, but not much better. I think I’ve asked this before but I’ll ask it again: what does Miranda Lambert see in this guy, anyway?

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Hot 100 Roundup—10/10/10

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

Glee Cast
“Toxic”, #16
“The Only Exception”, #26
“I’m A Slave 4 U”, #52
“Stronger”, #53
“Baby One More Time”, #54
“Me Against the Music”, #56

Lil Wayne
“Gonorrhea” (featuring Drake), #17
“What’s Wrong With Them” (featuring Nicki Minaj), #42
“I Am Not a Human Being”, #65
“Bill Gates”, #75
“Hold Up” (featuring T Streets), #102
“That Ain’t Me (featuring Jay Sean), #105
A half-dozen throwaways from a great artist who, before he went to jail, had stretched himself way too thin in terms of both performances and ideas. Admittedly, the rock and roll is better than Rebirth, but what kind of recommendation is that?

Pitbull featuring T-Pain—”Hey Baby (Drop It To the Floor)”
#51
What puts Pitbull over for me is the dry, confident, good-humored quality of his vocals. This is why it’s odd to see him partnering up with T-Pain, who, in comparison, sounds determined to hide himself behind his effects, almost as if he were afraid to have his real voice heard. The fact that T-Pain’s last two singles bombed and he’s been missing from the charts for most of the year only adds to the sense of desperation. T-Pain’s presence also means that Pitbull has to fill the track with more noise than usual, as opposed to the minimal club bangers of the past, where his own voice stood out. This is one of those misbegotten match-ups where the result emphasizes the weakness of both artists. They’re better off on their own.

Nicki Minaj—”Right Thru Me”
#74
It’s interesting that Minaj, who comes on so tough on other people’s records, seems such a romantic softy on her own. This has slightly harder edges than “Your Love”, but those are only there to cover up how unimaginative the rest of this sentimental goo is. More and more she reminds me of Cyndi Lauper: an eccentric and possibly major talent who turns out to be a blandly ordinary sentimentalist at heart. I hope I’m wrong, but this record points in that direction.

My Chemical Romance—”Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)”
#77
There’s a lot to love about this record: MCR’s wit, intensity, and sense of craft combine so perfectly that they even get away with the pretentious spoken bit in the middle. But the middle is where they’re stuck. Smarter than Green Day, not quite as smart as Jack White, and funnier than either, they’ve sworn allegiance to a style that can be fun and forceful but that’s culturally meaningless at best, nostalgic and sentimental (in a loud, revolutionary way) at worst. There’s a reason the country market has finally embraced rock and roll; it isn’t a threat to anybody anymore.

Bruno Mars—”Grenade”
#81
Mars is a talented guy, but this is a lousy record—near hysterical at times, too cool at others, and packed wall-to-wall with meaningless, fluffy noise. It’s pop only in the sense of pandering to the most basic audience desires while leaving room for nothing but Mars’s ego, which gets bigger with every record. He’s a master of the tried and true, but I’m beginning to doubt if he’s anything more than that.

Marsha Ambrosius—”Hope She Cheats On You (With a Basketball Player”)
#88
Great title, but unfortunately Ambrosius knows it, and repeats it endlessly on the fade, until the bitterness gets stifled by a lack of imagination and her desire to show off her pipes. She doesn’t sound mad, she sounds smug. This is the sort of thing Alicia Keys would come up with if she thought she had a sense of humor.

Bubbling Under:

Shakira featuring Dizzee Rascal—”Loca”
#101
A lesson in the diminishing returns of dance albums. This is OK, but it’s nowhere near as good as “She Wolf”, and too much of it sounds like Shakira is just going through the motions. That goes for Dizzee Rascal, too. (Note: Billboard actually lists the Spanish language version of this song on the chart, but as the English version is outselling it by an order of ten on iTunes, I’m assuming that was a mistake.)

Jeremih featuring Ludacris—”I Like”
#104
Though the ballad w/rap genre has had its moments, it’s overstayed its welcome, and I really wish it would go away. This is a good, more sophisticated follow-up to “Birthday Sex” until Ludacris adds his two cents. He’s like a rude parent barging in on a couple of teenagers making out on the couch and delivering some thinly veiled lewd suggestions before he leaves. He means well, but it kills the mood completely. Jeremih’s already had a top ten record; does he really need that much help via name recognition to get another one?

Kenny Chesney—”Live a Little”
#106
Chesney apparently spent his year off from touring listening to The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again” and trying to think of a way to incorporate that sound into a country song. He couldn’t do it, so he just tacks his version onto the intro and outro of an ordinary country-rocker and pretends he’s doing something new and exciting. He’s not fooling me, though.

Edward Maya & Vika Jiguilina—”Stereo Love”
#107
A lush euro-disco chanson, complete with accordion. A pleasant trifle, at least until the repetitiveness of it starts to weight it down. You keep expecting that accordion melody to go somewhere when all it does is repeat. As a disco novelty, though, I like it a lot more than “We No Speak Americano”

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