Posts Tagged ‘Reba’

Bubbling Under—4/9/11

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

Owl City featuring Shawn Chrystopher—”Alligator Sky”
#105
Shawn’s Chrystopher’s B.o.B. impersonation does a good job of beefing up Owl City’s usual wimpiness, and the music sounds tougher and more strenuous. The lyrics are the same old fluffy nonsense, though—I can buy the title as a description of a certain kind of cloud-studded sky, but I have no idea what that image actually signifies—and Adam Young’s vocals simper even more than usual. He sounds like a text-to-speech sample, only with less humanity.

Pitbull featuring Ne-Yo, AfroJack & Nayer—”Give Me Everything”
#7
Overwrought and underwritten, this record represents a low point for everyone involved, including AfroJack and Nayer, neither of whom I’ve ever heard of. Ne-Yo, who’s been having a lousy year, at least in commercial terms, provides the dullest hook I’ve ever heard from him. Pitbull, meanwhile, who’s been having an incredible year, sounds exhausted, almost burnt out, and the charming subtlety of his voice turns into a raspy, demanding car horn. Time for everybody to take a vacation.

Brad Paisley featuring Alabama—”Old Alabama”
#119
Leave it to Paisley to create a tribute track that far outstrips the people he’s supposedly paying tribute to. The worst moment of this record, in fact, the point where it turns from realistic country lust into sweet and sticky sentimentality, is when it’s namesakes make their appearance. Fortunately Paisley ignores them, turns up the tempo, and goes out on a high speed hoedown that outstrips not just Alabama, but everybody else in the business as well. It’s rude of Paisley to show up his elders like that, but since he only tolerates them so he can get laid, can you really blame him?

Reba—”If I Were a Boy”
#123
A terrible mistake, not because Reba can’t do justice to the song, but because it’s too young for her (it’s too young for Beyonce, as well, but not by so much that she can’t get away with it). You can hear the age and experience in Reba’s voice, and it’s impossible to believe that someone at that level of maturity would think about men in this way. She sounds like a cougar bemoaning the unfaithfulness of a younger man, which is an image too unwholesome to take pleasure in or evoke much in the way of sympathy. It is, in fact, kind of icky, especially with Reba attached to it. I never thought this was a particularly great song to begin with, but coming from Reba it seems bizarre.

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Hot 100 Roundup—9/26/10

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

Kings of Leon—Radioactive
#37
The music takes off from the title, the guitars and percussion echoing the sound of Geiger counters, but the lyrics seem to be about something else entirely, something vaguely spiritual. They’re so vague, in fact, that it’s impossible to tell what’s going on or what any of it means. All I can be sure of is that these guys really want to be Pearl Jam. So much so that I can’t help but wonder if this wasn’t inspired by Eddie Vedder’s version of “My City In Ruins”.

Trey Songz—“Can’t Be Friends”
#74
In which Trey regrets the fact that he’s irresistible to women and so good at sexing them up because he finds it impossible to be friends with a woman once he’s had her and can’t have her anymore. There are probably many women in the world who would be flattered by this self-serving horseshit. Until, that is, they realized it was just his way of talking them back into bed. Amazing what a throbbing, sympathetic string arrangement can do to hide your true intentions.

Keith Urban—“Put You In A Song”
#82
Though I’ve heard some evidence that Urban can be better, this time he sounds like a one-man Rascal Flatts. His throwaway exclamations at the ends of lines are particularly irritating. He sounds like he’s already working the crowd in Branson.

Yolanda Be Cool & Dcup—“We No Speak Americano”
#83
Cartoon music which may or may not have some political intent. Already a huge hit in Europe, where this sort of danceable pop candy has always been ridiculously popular. It gets old fast.

Miguel featuring J. Cole—“All I Want Is You”
#91
I like the trip-hop beats and the ethereal quality of the chorus, and until J. Cole steps up to the mike this is a good record. But Cole ruins it for me by indulging in one the stupidest trends in current hip-hop: self-annotated raps. As soon as he says “Trying to celebrate my independence day (Will Smith)” he loses me, and even the good lines about his girlfriend forcing him to apologize twice don’t quite make up for it. Something else we can blame on Kanye, I guess.

Reba —“Turn On Your Radio”
#94
Give her credit: Reba knows how to keep up with the times, and the vocal on this piece of feisty feminism wipes the floor with its inspiration, Carrie Underwood. What it lacks is Underwood’s brassy tastelessness (in country terms, that is), which implies not just youth but true anger. When Reba’s voice turns bitter she sounds like a long-time pro doing her best for the song, but you know she thinks it’s just a good joke and nothing else. Underwood’s lack of depth is part of what makes the basic emotions in her songs believable, but Reba’s too old to be that shallow.

Linkin Park—“Waiting For the End”
#96
Musical craftsmanship matters, and whether it’s the band’s or Rick Rubin’s, it makes this record more listenable than it deserves to be. “This is not what I had planned” from someone who is either dying or expecting to be killed may be one of the dumbest lines to hit the Hot 100 this year, especially the way Mike Shinoda sings it. All that money, all that time and effort and yes, talent, and they still hold the intellectual point of view of a thirteen year-old. Either that or they’re intentionally pandering to thirteen year-olds, which would almost be better.

Eric Church—“Smoke a Little Smoke”
#97
I’ve seen signs that Church doesn’t get much respect from country aficionados, but though the sound of his records is somewhat overblown (but then, in country, whose isn’t?) I like the throwaway quality of his lyrics and melodies, and his sense of proportion—at just over three minutes, compared to his earlier records this is almost an epic. He knows how to sneak ideas into a song, as well; it isn’t until the middle eight that you realize he’s blunting himself out because his girl dumped him. He’s also more blatant about dope than most country singers, at least the ones that get on the radio. There are even psychedelic echo effects. Good stuff.

Wiz Khalifa—“Black and Yellow”
#100
Good hook, but then you expect that from a Stargate produced track. The rapping isn’t bad, either, but it isn’t anything you haven’t heard before, and better.

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New this week—5/2/10

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

Glee Cast
“Like A Prayer”, #27
“Borderline/Open Your Heart”, #72
“Like A Virgin”. #87
“4 Minutes”, #89

Madonna has taken a lot of criticism for her voice over the years—lack of strength, lack of range, lack of flexibility, yada yada yada—but that doesn’t mean just anybody can sing her songs. Exactly the opposite, in fact; her songs are so carefully designed to take advantage of the strengths of her voice and hide its weaknesses that they’re nearly impossible for anyone else to bring off—especially non-singers like the Glee Cast. When I say non-singers I don’t mean that they don’t have decent voices, or aren’t capable of hitting the notes, I mean quite literally that they don’t sing—they act. There’s a huge difference between singing a song and acting a song. Acted songs tend to have less depth, fewer emotional shades, less, to put it simply, musicality. In theater, in movies, on television, acting a song is fine, because there are so many other things going on, but for listening in isolation, in the home, or even through earbuds on the bus, they’re mostly flat, one-dimensional, banal, and obvious in all the worst ways. The main reason Glee’s music is so bad, and why I find it so infuriating, is that for the most part they’re taking songs designed for singing and acting them and then releasing them as records as if they were actually in the business of making music rather than TV. I’m probably taking it much too seriously, but these records are consistently terrible, and I find it maddening. Hearing these folks sing is almost as painful as watching Madonna act.

B.o.B. featuring T.I. & Playboy Tre—”Bet I”
#72
B.o.B. has talent, but if he keeps releasing records where he’s outshown by his guests no one’s ever going to notice. T.I. may be B.o.B.’s mentor, but he sounds like he doesn’t even know, or care, whose record this is. He’s so happy to be out of jail and working again you could ask him to contribute a verse to a remix of the Glee Cast’s “Bust A Move” and he’d probably say yes.

Shontelle—”Impossible”
#88
I like the way the melody takes little twists and turns, adding a level of emotional vulnerability, but in the end those twists don’t take you anywhere and it turns into just another hip-hop ballad. Nice try, though.

Reba—”I Keep On Loving You”
#90
Classy as country gets, and the first verse is brilliant (even in country you don’t get too many references to Job these days). The second verse isn’t brilliant at all, though, and after that the chorus gets repeated a few too many times. Reba’s voice, thicker with age, and with more emotional depth as a result, almost carries it through, but by the end you’ve had more than enough.

Tim McGraw—”Still”
#91
McGraw’s latest sop to family, country, and god. I appreciate his experimentation in terms of instrumentation and arrangement, but the song itself is dull as dirt. And what’s with the last verse, where McGraw thanks God that his church is still there for him to go to? Did the Taliban threaten to blow it up? Did liberals threaten to close it down? Or did Tim’s own sinful ways keep him from its doors? Leaving a question like that hanging just isn’t fair.

Ciara featuring Ludacris—”Ride”
#93
The unfortunate truth about Ciara’s records, at least since she decided to become a “class” act, is that, well-crafted and carefully thought out as they may be, they’re also boring. This is the worst offender so far. As for Ludacris, though he’s still capable of being funny (check out the remix of The-Dream’s “Love King”), here he’s just crude.

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New this week

Monday, October 12th, 2009

Glee Cast featuring Kristin Chenoweth
“Alone”, #51
“Maybe This Time” #88
The addition of actual Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth might be expected to add a level of polish, maybe even personality, or perhaps give the songs some satirical edge, but these tracks are as bland as everything else that has come out of the show, with the added detriment—especially on “Maybe This Time”—of the most irritating kind of Broadway mugging and hokiness. I’m beginning to think the blandness may be part of the appeal. Why else would that awful Queen cover be outselling everything else from the show?

Foo Fighters—”Wheels”
#73
Dave Grohl is a sincere, intelligent guy who makes sincere, intelligent alt-rock, and who’s capable, at his best, of tweaking the usual alt-rock self-actualization cliches just enough that they sound felt and almost not cliches. This is not Grohl at his best. The problem is the tempo, which overplays the sincerity and heightens the cliches so they’re impossible to miss. I don’t say this about many people, but I prefer Grohl when he’s shouting.

Paramore—”Careful”
#78
All those rumors about Hayley Williams going solo weren’t just the result of cynical music-biz thinking, they were an obvious reaction to the reality of Paramore: that Williams is more than just the public focus of the band, but also it’s creative center. Her lyrics are realistic without being cynical, hopeful without being sentimental, honest without being cruel. The band adds nothing but precisely played, often overwrought bombast. Williams may not have outgrown them yet, but just wait.

Kris Allen—”Live Like We’re Dying”
#89
Allen has apparently decided that the best way to maintain his post-American Idol career is to choose his material and sing it as if he were still a contestant. Hell, it made him a winner once, right?

Dierks Bentley—”I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes”
#91
This is like a scene from a country-themed Harlequin romance. It follows all the rules, and it’s supposed to be slow and seductive, but mostly it’s just slow, and too carefully calculated to be sexy. Bentley sounds sincere, but then all guys sound sincere when they’re they’re trying to get laid.

Reba—”Consider Me Gone”
#96
It starts off well, but like too many country songs it’s shifted deep into cliche by the time it gets to the chorus and never recovers. Reba’s vocals are fascinating, though—who needs autotune when you can stretch vowels like silly putty the way she does here.

Train—”Hey, Soul Sister”
#98
One of those songs where the forced cleverness of the music and lyrics outweighs whatever point the song is trying to make, which wasn’t much to begin with. This is like Jason Mraz with hypertension—not a pleasant sound at all.

LeToya featuring Ludacris—”Regret”
#100
This is more a recitation over a stylized musical background than it is a song, and Ludacris, to put it bluntly, is terrible: self-satisfied, pompous, crude, and never funny. Needless to say, he dominates the record.

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new this week

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

American Idol week having faded as rapidly as ever (half the records that debuted last week are off the chart, and “No Boundaries” has already dropped out of the top 20), the Hot 100 gets back to normal with a week of largely mediocre country and rap records (none of which are by Eminem). Welcome back to the status quo, folks.

Rascall Flatts—“Summer Nights”
#80
Just by not being a ballad this seems a step up from most Rascal Flatts records, but it’s not. The lyrics and music are pure cliché, the arrangement is designed to load as many pre-packaged audience-pleasing moments in as possible, and the sound is so harsh it’s no fun at all. And whoever sings (you think I’d waste my time looking up these guy’s names?) has just about the worst voice for rock and roll you’ve ever heard. No wonder they cut so many ballads.

Gloriana—“Wild At Heart”
#82
Country stalwarts love to go on about tradition, but the truth is country is as trend driven as any other popular music, and here comes yet another copy of Sugarland to prove the point. They rock a little more emphatically, perhaps too much so, and the song goes nowhere, but the influence is obvious. The lyrical cliches about wild nights and wild love, though, are about as traditional as you can get.

Randy Houser—“Boots On”
#83
Generic country about how wearing dirty boots and having tobacco can rings on your pockets drives those honky tonkin’ chicks wild. Dottie West was right: it wasn’t God who made honky tonk angels—apparently it was Copenhagen.

Twista—“Wetter”
#87
The female supplicant Twista has hired to sing his praises pronounces “Daddy” in such a childish, mewling fashion that at first I thought she was saying “Diddy”. Diddy’s sexism, however, is more insidious and less overt than Twista’s. Oddly enough, that gives Twista the advantage; at least you know where he’s coming from, even if it’s a place you’d never want to go yourself. Doesn’t make this record feel any less unclean, though.

Reba—“Strange”
#91
Not strange enough. Not Reba enough, either.

Dorrough—“Ice Cream Paint Job”
#92
Considering the level of crudity to which rap metaphor often descends, I was afraid there was some sexual meaning in that title, but it turns out Dorrough’s just talking about his car. His ride may be designed to impress the ladies, but except for a background vocal repeating “Hey girl” on the chorus, there isn’t a single reference to women on the entire record; it’s just a lengthy description of how tricked out his car is over what might be described as slightly more refined Soulja Boy beats. Not counting Springsteen’s “Pink Cadillac” and some country singles, I don’t think I’ve heard a song so vehicularly obsessed since the glory days of The Beach Boys and Jan and Dean. What decade is this again?

The-Dream featuring Kanye West—“Walkin’ On the Moon”
#100
I feel about the The-Dream much the way I feel about Ne-Yo: I appreciate what they’re doing, and often admire the results, but only rarely do they come across for me. West’s rap moves into Andre 3000 territory in terms of its sense of play, and the record overall is pleasantly eccentric, but it feels like album filler, or a b-side. I like it better each time I hear it, though, so maybe it will grow on me.

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