Posts Tagged ‘RedOne’

Best of the Hot 100, 2012

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

There seems to be general agreement that 2012 was not a good year for pop music—musically, commercially, or for those who cover it. I have my doubts about this (I have my doubts about the whole concept of good and bad years in general, but that’s another discussion), but there’s no doubting the negatives.

The commercial aspect is obvious: CD sales continue to drop, and digital sales aren’t rising fast enough to compensate. Individual track sales are booming, but LP sales are still far behind.

For critics, while the opportunities to publish, or at least self-publish, continue to expand (which may be part of the problem), the possibility of getting paid has dropped. The two most obvious signs of this decline—the firing of Maura Johnston at the Village Voice in favor of the snarky, listicle-based, and largely out of touch music coverage featured in the other Voice Media papers (disclaimer: by extension, I was one of the victims in Maura’s firing); and the failure of Uncool to find crowd-sourced financial backing (largely their own fault, but still)—suggest that support for decent music writing exists, for the most part, only among decent music writers, and stretches not much further than their families and friends.

As for the music, this has been a transitional year, though I wouldn’t call it a complete disaster. The collapse of hip-hop as the reigning genre, a process that started back in 2008, became a general part of the discussion this year, as the music all but disappeared from the top ten. Older stars like Usher (and Beyonce in 2011) found it almost impossible to scale the pop charts, even after they modernized their sound. Of the younger artists, only Nicki Minaj and Rihanna have managed to stay near the top of the charts, but both had established themselves in the years before, and there were no big breakout artists.

In rap, though a number of new artists in the older mold (Wiz Khalifa, 2 Chainz, Big Sean, and others) scored decent hits, none of them have made much of a mark on the pop charts. Far more successful, and claiming the most critical interest over the last year, have been artists like Kendrick Lamar, Frank Ocean, and Future, who follow in the wake of the album that broke the old form’s dominance: Kanye West’s 808s and Heartbreaks. 808s is not only one of the markers for the commercial collapse of hip-hop, but has become far more influential musically than anyone expected. West, not surprisingly, is also the only established rapper who continues to have major pop hits.

So far, though, even as hip-hop has faded, nothing has stepped up to take its place, at least not in in comparison to the total domination hip-hop enjoyed for over a decade. Instead, we have three different streams rising up and sharing the spotlight.

The one that has gotten the most attention, and certainly the most press, is the dance and party music that has been stuck with the name EDM. EDM made its first major appearance on the pop charts via The Black Eyed Peas in the late oughts, just as hip-hop was starting its swan dive. The electro-based minimalism of BEP has been largely replaced by various types of eurodisco (Calvin Harris, David Guetta, Swedish House Mafia), and dupstep (Skrillex, Diplo, Zedd, and many others).

Over the last year it was dubstep that got the most attention. Skrillex’s singles, though never large pop hits, stayed on the lower reaches of the Hot 100 through most of the year, and he sold out everywhere he played (which was pretty much anywhere, and almost every night). Then came Usher’s Diplo-produced “Climax”, one of the best singles of the year and a number one r&b record, but not a big pop hit, most likely because it was too subtle to come across on top forty radio.

After that, it was as if the floodgates had opened, and every wave contained another “drop”. By the end of the year, dubstep had found a place in almost every genre. Not just in r&b and hip-hop, but in sensitive singer-songwriter balladry (Alex Clare’s “Too Close”, produced by Diplo), teen-pop (Carly Rae Jepsen and Justin Bieber), and even, if you stretch the definition a bit, country, in the form of Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble” The most garish and obvious cash-in came on Pitbull’s “Back In Time” (produced by RedOne). Laying the wobble on Mickey and Sylvia’s “Love Is Strange” created one of the most joyfully ridiculous pop moments this year, and it continues to mystify me that the record wasn’t a bigger hit.

Just behind EDM was teen-pop, mostly in the form of the effervescent Jepsen and the somewhat beleaguered and bipolar (in a relationship sense) Swift. The Disney factory, which for all intents and purposes created teen-pop as a genre, was for the most part silent this year, with only the rehabbed Demi Lovato’s “Give Your Heart a Break” scoring big, although Bridgit Mendler continues to hover on the lower reaches of the Hot 100 with the readymade “Ready Or Not”.

The Disney gap was largely filled by Brits. Boy band One Direction turned the Disney blueprint into gold, pumping out one bright, snappy pop/rock track after another, while Cher Lloyd toughened the stance without losing the cheeky corniness of the genre (if anything she amplified it). “Want U Back” is too mature to fit the Disney mold well, but follow-up single “Oath” could have come off the soundtrack to any Disney Channel musical of the last five years (“Oath” wasn’t a big hit, but it was scooped up by a lot of teens with their iTunes gift cards after Christmas—enough to give the record it’s highest chart placement after it had fallen off the Hot 100 two weeks before; the next week it was gone again).

The third stream produced big hits but hasn’t, as far as I can see, gotten much publicity, or what it has gotten has been for a different reason. I call it the “new seriousness”, though that can hardly be considered a genre name. Most of these records came from what usually get called “indie bands”, though that label becomes more meaningless all the time (and it never meant much). The biggest hits, by Gotye and fun., (Foster the People’s “Pumped Up Kicks” started the ball rolling in late 2011), feature intense self-reflection and -doubt, with a heightened, though intellectualized, sense of musical melodrama.

These records aren’t to everyone’s taste, obviously, but the fact that lesser artists (Mumford and Sons, The Lumineers, Of Monsters and Men, Ed Sheeran, even American Idol winner Phillip Phillips), have been able to make hits along the same basic lines suggests that there’s a growing sense of—dare I say it?—personal responsibility building in the pop audience. The real proof may come later this year, when the new Arcade Fire is released. If they get a hit single, I’d say the “new seriousness” is officially a trend. If not, it’s a blip. (Meanwhile, the record I thought would be the next big “serious” hit—Passion Pit’s “Take A Walk”—continues to hover in the lower reaches of the chart. It’s dropped off a couple of times over the last three months, but it always comes back).

But was 2012 a mediocre year? I don’t think any year that contained “Call Me Maybe”, “Climax”, and “Adorn” could be called bad, and these judgments are best made in retrospect anyway, so I’m only prepared to go as far as calling it average and transitional. The pop audience is still making up its mind as to what will follow hip-hop as the dominant paradigm, but I would assume it will be a mixture of all three streams, an idea already explored by artists like Robyn and on Jepsen’s critically praised but commercially disappointing album Kiss (again, Arcade Fire’s new album may work as a test case, though I doubt there’ll be much teen-pop influence).

At any rate, my picks for the best songs to make the Hot 100 in 2012 are below. Basically, anything that would deserve a B+ or better—if I bothered to grade records, that is—is included. The only track missing from the playlist is Swift’s “Begin Again”, which isn’t yet available on Spotify. These are not in order of quality, though a lot of my favorites ended up at the beginning and the end, with the slightly lower quality stuff tossed about in the middle. The mix is a mess, but then the year was a mess, and at least this gives a sense of how scattered it was stylistically.

My choices make up slightly less than ten percent of the records that made the chart this year, and as could be expected, some of the inclusions and omissions are questionable, not just by you, but by me as well. Still here it is. (Ten percent, by the way, is what I would consider average. If it were fifteen it would be a good year, twenty a great one. Anything much below ten, though? I don’t even want to think about it).

Enjoy.

Giving Credit

Monday, August 27th, 2012

A couple of weeks ago I attended a “Summer Social” at the Rhapsody offices here in Seattle. They opened the place up in the early evening so people could come by, take a tour, talk to staff, and, if they were a programmer or web developer, pitch their expertise. The attendees also included a few curious people like me and some regular customers. The staff was very open and honest about their work, their small slice of the market, and attendee’s criticisms and occasional complaints about the service. One of the things everybody agreed with me about when I brought it up was the need for production and session credits, something that should be easy to include, at least with downloaded tracks, but for some reason rarely is.

Apparently the same problem bothers The Recording Academy, because last week they started a campaign to encourage the industry to include credits with downloaded albums and tracks. As usual with campaigns of this type, they’ve given it a cutesy name (“Give Fans the Credit”), and lined up a roster of big names (T-Bone Burnett, RedOne, Jimmy Jam, and others) to lend it a little oomph. I find it interesting that they’re directing their attention toward digital outlets rather than the labels. It would be easy enough for labels to include credits, and lyrics, in the ID tags of MP3s, but I don’t think they ever have. Of course, it may be the distributors who enter that information, which sounds like a dumb idea to me, but knowing the record industry, not a surprise.

One of my fantasies has always been to create a database, much like the IMDB, that would include session information for as many records as possible. My lack of knowledge of databases has always hampered the idea, and, since there have been a lot more records made than movies, it would be much larger than the IMDB. It still strikes me as good idea, though, and if it were limited to one genre, or one particular period of time at first, I think it’s feasible. I don’t look for the Recording Academy to spearhead that sort of thing, though. I doubt if there would be much money in it, despite its historical and research value. I’m not sure who would look at it except for researchers and people like me. I don’t even know if the upcoming generation of listeners is actually interested in credits. After all, the record industry got along without them for its first twenty years or so (liner notes were first introduced in the late thirties). It will probably remain one of my many pipe dreams.

History Repeats Itself

Saturday, May 12th, 2012

Since I’m a great believer in cultural cycles, I often find myself looking for the historical parallels in current pop music, but this one came upon me unbidden, while I was listening to last week’s Hot 100: DJ/Producers like David Guetta or Calvin Harris or RedOne or any number of others, are the big band leaders of our time, putting out dance records with featured vocalists, just like Paul Whiteman or Harry James or Tommy and Jimmy Dorsey in the 30s. Sometimes the vocalists are already established, sometimes they’re unknowns (and sometimes, these days, they’re samples). The same worries re cultural imperialism apply, as well. Maybe not that important a point, but interesting all the same.

Of Beez and Men
Hot 100 Roundup—4/21/12

Friday, April 20th, 2012

Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull—“Dance Again”
#27

The music on the chorus is too garish, and Pitbull is wasted, but the verses are great, and this record officially establishes Lopez’s comeback as more successful than Madonna’s. Of course, Lopez achieved this by ripping off the more easily copied bits of Madonna’s style, but she still has the advantage. Does MDNA have any tracks produced by RedOne? Sounds like it should have.

Kanye West featuring Big Sean, Pusha T, 2 Chainz—“Mercy”
#38

In just about every way, West’s rap doesn’t fit this song: it breaks the flow, simplifies the beat while complicating the record as a whole, and shows up everyone else’s ignorance by promoting his own intelligence. It’s as if he expects the whole world to come to a halt every time he opens his mouth. Gee, I wonder what that could be a metaphor for? But aside from the exotic main beat, his rap is the only thing that makes this record interesting. West is right: those other guys should shut up and go home.

Kenny Chesney & Tim McGraw—“Feel Like A Rock Star”
#40

My problem with this, besides how dull and cliched it is, is that I can’t get the image of Cheney and McGraw performing it on the ACM Awards out of my head. With Chesney in his sleeveless, fuchsia t-shirt and white cowboy hat, and McGraw in his black v-neck, leather pants, and black leather cowboy hat, they looked like country’s most prominent ambiguously gay couple. The lyrics, with turns of phrase that could easily be taken for gay slang, don’t help matters. Are they trying to tell us something? If they are, that would be the only interesting thing about this record.

Nicki Minaj
“Right By My Side” (featuring Chris Brown), #51
“Beez In the Trap” (featuring 2 Chainz), #78
“Va Va Voom”, #79

“Beez In the Trap” is a classic, “Va Va Voom” likable but nothing special, “Right By My Side” another of Minaj’s unfortunate forays into generic pop (on which, once again, she does an expert Rihanna impersonation). So goes another week in the life of the most promising and frustrating rapper of the last two years. And now she’s cut herself off from Twitter and is complaining about lackluster sales. I suspect if she had only released “Starships” and “Beez In the Trap” before the album came out, instead of all the Roman stuff, that wouldn’t have been a problem (just because you’re the female Weezy doesn’t mean you have to match his release schedule). Whatever the case, it sounds like she could use a vacation.

DJ Khaled feturing Chris Brown, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne—“Take It To the Head”
#63

Sub-par performances all around on the latest, less boomy than usual, Khaled extravaganza. Only Brown sounds like he’s interested. Bet he ends up wishing he hadn’t wasted that hook.

Demi Lovato—“Give Your Heart A Break”
#70

Interesting. This is from Lovato’s LP Unbroken, which came out last September. It’s only the second official single from the album, and releasing something bright and bouncy after the ballad, “Skyscraper”, makes perfect sense, but it’s impossible not to wonder if its release doesn’t have something to do with the success of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe”. Aside from the lyrics, the first few bars are almost identical. So is this a cash-in? Lovato establishing a prior claim? It’s easy to imagine that Jepsen and her producers drew on this for inspiration, so is this release Lovato’s way of calling them on it? Whatever the case, it’s a great record, if not as great as Jepsen’s. It’s good to hear Lovato doing something upbeat that doesn’t focus on vulnerability or depend on her usual vocal tics.

T.I.—“Love This Life”
#81

It’s an interesting stylistic change-up, but the lyrics are the same-old “the way to a woman’s heart is through your credit card” nonsense. Even when he gets around to mentioning love and affection in the second verse he still ends up talking about all the stuff he’s bought her. Which finally makes me realize why I’ve always had a problem with T.I.: under all the beats and the great flow, he’s as shallow as they come.

Fat Joe featuring Chris Brown—“Another Round”
#83

I congratulate Joe on his weight loss. It’s a hard thing to do. But all I can say about this record is that the adjective in his name still applies to his head. And that goes double for Chris Brown.

Andy Grammer—“Fine By Me”
#87

Not by me, you smarmy twit.

Of Monsters and Men—“Little Talks”
#92

I knew there would be Mumford and Son imitators, and I knew they would be terrible, but I didn’t know they’d be quite as bad as this. I’m reminded of the ghastly folk-pop groups of the mid-sixties, The We Five, maybe, or even The Seekers. This is faster and rougher, because that’s the style, but the result is pretty much the same: pseudo-folk for pseudo-folkies, only this time with blaring, witless horn charts. Some things just never die.

Gloriana—“(Kissed You) Good Night”
#97

As followers in the footsteps of Lady Antebellum, these guys are almost as good, which means they’re almost as bad, too. I appreciate the romanticism, but there’s something unsettling about the line “I should have pushed you up against the wall”, especially when the woman sings it. I’m sure it’s meant in all innocence, but the possessive, domineering tone of it (after he’s admitted to being scared to kiss her in the first place), followed by the woman’s submissive tone when she repeats it, grates and sets off alarms. It’s kind of creepy. Takes all the romanticism right out of it, at least for me.

K’Naan featuring Nelly Furtado—“Is Anybody Out There?”
#99

Two years ago K’Naan was making great records about racism and the horrors of living in Somalia; now he’s singing It Gets Better songs over Smeezingtons-wannabe beats. Furtado sounds so anonymous that every time I hear this I need to strain to remember who it is. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

Listen on Spotify

Hunger Games, Dubstep Games
Hot 100 Roundup—4/7/12

Thursday, April 12th, 2012

Taylor Swift—“Eyes Open”
#19

What’s surprising about all The Hunger Games songs I’ve heard is how literal they are, in the sense that they focus on particular aspects of the story rather than delivering the usual pop tropes and vaguely tying them to the theme of the film. They’re actually about the movie, rather than simply being attached to it. That doesn’t mean they’re great, though: this is Swift indulging her heavy metal side, as dull as she’s ever been, and all I can say is that I’m glad she’s letting that aspect of her musical taste out on a soundtrack and not one of her own albums.

Alex Clare—“Too Close”
#68

Alex Clare appears to be a genuine singer/songwriter, but it’s hard not to view this as just another part of Diplo’s concerted effort to inject dubstep into everything. Someday someone may succeed at making a record like this work, but not this time. It would help if the song wasn’t so ordinary, but I’m not sure I would buy the idea even if it was better. The electronics sound tacked on in the worst sort of way, as if someone were trying to do a mashup of Gavin DeGraw and Skrillex and gave up after sorting out the chorus. To get theoretical for a moment: pop music requires an organic mix of structure and texture to create emotional cohesion; you can’t just throw any old thing over the top and expect it to work.

Maroon 5 featuring Rozzi Crane—“Come Away To the Water”
#83

I was impressed by this at first, and even devised a little formula to explain it: if T-Bone Burnett is capable of ruining true artists by amping up their “arty” side, then it makes sense that the same process could turn second-raters into something better than they are, at least for one song. Further listening made me realize that all he had really done was turn Maroon 5, who don’t need any help in being arty blowhards, into a copy of Los Lobos (even vocally, which is a neat trick). If you believe that songs that are essentially chants backed by heavily reverbed guitars and rumbling low-fi drums automatically equal art, this is the record for you. I find it vague and hollow myself.

Craig Morgan—“This Ole Boy”
#92

I like the loose feel of this, and the way the verse toys with the idea of how many syllables you can cram into a line, but it’s too cute. Cute seems to be how many male country singers choose to deal with women these days. It’s their way of trying not to be sexist, I guess, but it shows a real lack of imagination to believe that the only option outside of being a macho boor is being a charmless doofus. In its own way it’s just as sexist, because it sees women as being as easily overpowered by cute as they are by handsome. In a teenager like Scotty McCreery it may be excusable, but Morgan’s 47.

Shinedown—“Bully”
#94

I can’t speak for everybody, of course, but when I was in high school the kind of people who listened to bands like Shinedown were the bullies, not the ones who claimed to be victimized by them. Maybe things have changed, but that strikes me as being a major disconnect, whatever the song’s good intentions. It’s also clichéd, boring, and overwrought, as message songs so often are.

Havana Brown featuring Pitbull—“We Run the Night”
#99

More dubstep dabbling, this time from producer RedOne, for whom you’d think the style would be second nature, what with his own leaning towards the brash and garish. It turns out, though, that the best parts of this are the more Euro-disco moments, which are decorated with intriguing shifts and sudden turns. Pitbull is added to give the record more commercial heft, but also finds himself the victim of the best joke on the record when a burst of dubstep insanity drowns out his trademark sotto voce growl at the end of his verse. Not that Pitbull cares; he’s too busy jumping on another dance-pop gravy train. Oddly enough, I respect him for that.

Drake featuring The Weeknd—“Crew Love”
#100

Interesting to find this on the chart. Is it actually being promoted as a single? Are people grabbing at it because it’s the weirdest sounding thing on Take Care, as well as being one of the few tracks that could be described as up tempo? Or are they mistaking The Weeknd’s deconstructed R&B for dubstep? Whatever the case, it has a decent hook, and it’s nice to hear Drake finally admitting to his privileged background (did he really turn down an opportunity to go to Harvard, or is that just more bragging?). It’s a throwaway, but a good one.

Listen on Spotify

The Boss and The Beebs
Hot 100 Roundup—3/17/12

Monday, March 26th, 2012

Far*East Movement featuring Justin Bieber—“Live My Life”
#21

Bieber’s involvement in this record may be the main selling point to millions of teenagers, but his presence is a distraction. For that matter, so is Far*East Movement’s. It’s not that any of them are bad vocalists, or that they don’t do a perfectly decent job here (I love the change-ups in vocal timbre throughout the record), but I just want to listen to that groove and ignore the rest. It’s so subdued in its way that I was surprised to find it’s a Redone production; I thought it must be The Cataracs. Maybe he’s gotten over his garishness. More records like this and I may start to like him.

Nicki Minaj featuring Lil Wayne—“Roman Reloaded”
#70

This record depresses me. Not because it’s the third or fourth Minaj track in a row to be less than stunning—if anything, thanks mostly to Lil Wayne, it’s better than some of the others. It depresses me because of the example it sets, and the new rap paradigm it’s reinforcing. By bragging about her endorsement deals, Minaj is setting up a new standard for success, one based not only on skills or popularity, but also on a rapper’s willingness to be a corporate shill. No doubt she and Lil Wayne (who has the good sense here to brag about his sexual prowess, not Mountain Dew) think of this as buying in, not selling out, but it’s a diminishment anyway—maybe not of Minaj’s skills as yet, but of the audience’s trust in her. I know that every time I see her now I’ll be asking myself what she’s trying to sell me besides her music, and that expectation, which bounces back and forth between the audience and the performer, eventually will diminish her as an artist, as expectations and trust on both sides drop. I hope I’m wrong, but I can’t see this leading anywhere else.

Eric Church—“Springsteen”
#79

I’ve always been a fan of Church, what he sometimes lacks in inspiration he makes up in energy, intelligence, and principal—he may not always know what to do, but he always knows what not to do. This, I think is something of a breakthrough, not just because it’s a great song with an unusual subject (or at least an unusual way of presenting it), but because the sheer craftsmanship involved suggests that Church is capable of even more than he’s done so far. It’s a little stiff in spots, but so what? So is Springsteen. The groove is wonderful, and the emotion overwhelms what at first might seem like a ridiculous, over-sentimental concept. And I love the way he echoes Springsteen without ever directly imitating him. A near perfect record.

Travis Porter featuring Tyga—“Ayy Ladies”
#88

I like these guys, and I especially like their producer. This has a great beat, but their raps were more interesting on their earlier records, and they seem to be settling into a strip club groove that will soon become a rut. As broke, horny guys roaming the streets they were at least funny; now they sound exhausted and too experienced for their own good.

LoveRance featuring 50 Cent—“Up!”
#92

50 still sounds like he enjoys sex as sex, and not just as power, but he appears to be ambivalent about rapping. He slurs so much and speeds so quickly through his bars you’d swear he couldn’t wait to get out of the studio. With company like this, who can blame him?

Future featuring T.I.—“Magic”
#94

The only part of this I like is when Future talks about his accountant having the magic to make his taxes go away. Otherwise, despite Future’s flow in spots, this is ordinary. And what’s happened to T.I.? He’s the dullest thing on here.

Estelle—“Thank You”
#100

Estelle is a true talent, but this is not a good record. The fact that’s it’s such an obvious rip of Sade is one problem, the basic theme another. Thank you for making me a woman? Really? It’s all very stylish and well-polished, but it also sounds uninspired and several steps less than brilliant. She’s trying too hard to be perfect and not letting her real self out.

Listen on Spotify

Bubbling Under—7/9/11

Monday, August 15th, 2011

Blaire LeVoir—”Digital Kiss”
#106

The idea for the intro is stolen from Prince (not from a song, but from a segue between songs), the sound from David Guetta or RedOne or some other garish electro producer, and the theme of technologically-assisted passion from, uh, Gary Numan, if not Lost In Space. I would say the lyrics sounded like the fantasies of a sci-fi obsessed twelve-year-old if most twelve-year-olds didn’t show far more understanding of technology than LeVoir ever does. Sex, too.

Avril Lavigne—”Smile”
#114

There’s nothing inherently wrong with Lavigne making teenpop in her mid-twenties. She helped invent the current strain, after all, and many people before her have done the same, and many will after. All the same, this record is inexcusable. There have been lots of songs about women who love men who mistreat them, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard one that sounded as slick as a laminated Hallmark card before, or as clueless. She thinks it’s cute when he slips her roofies. Unhealthy at, or for, any age.

Ledisi—”Pieces Of Me”
#115

Ledisi is a respected jazz singer, but this is cocktail soul at best, and the theme song to a discussion show on the Oprah Winfrey Network at worst. If she were white, her phrasing of “Fo’ sho’” would be derided as minstrelsy. I’m not sure it isn’t.

Kellie Pickler—”Tough”
#119

Even when she was on American Idol I though Pickler had more talent than people gave her credit for, or that she even gave herself credit for, and I still do. Her phrasing, obviously modeled on Dolly Parton, is wonderful, and the song, though not great, isn’t bad either. But Pickler doesn’t seem interested in doing anything but entertain—maybe she doesn’t believe she’s capable of anything else—and her self-doubt show’s through even when she’s acting tough. The result is a record that sounds like it should be fun but never delivers, and that you never once believe.

Matt Nathanson—”Faster”
#124

This is fast, at least for adult-contemporary, and Nathanson’s sense of craft makes it bearable. But when I hear a guy who’s been in the business for nearly twenty years sing about his girl tasting like “sunshine and strawberry bubblegum”, I figure he’s a middling careerist who’s had a lucky fall into a decent hook. The blaring horn arrangement confirms it.

Hot 100 Roundup—3/12/11

Monday, March 7th, 2011

Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull—”On the Floor”
#9

Anyone with any sense knows why this debuted in the top ten. Lopez’s presence on American Idol may, in fact, be the only reason this record was made at all. Some people have already mentioned the irony involved in Lopez coaching singers when she doesn’t have much of a voice herself, but weak vocals are the least of this record’s problems, which is such a blatant grab-bag of current dance floor trends that even Pitbull sounds a little unsure of it. You can’t say Lopez and her producer, RedOne, aren’t up-to-date, but ripping off a track as recognizable as “Stereo Love” when it’s just peaked on the charts is about as daring as this record gets. For anyone who may have wondered whether it was RedOne or Lady Gaga who provided the creative firepower on The Fame, this should answer your questions quite nicely.

Glee Cast
“Don’t You Want Me”, #49
“Blame It (On the Alcohol)”, #55
“Tik Tok”, #61

Back to normal.

Wiz Khalifa featuring Too $hort—”On My Level”
#52

Not a terrible track, but the presence of Too $hort makes me question Khalifa’s judgement. Too $hort is now too old to indulge in stimulants himself, so instead he talks about getting girls loaded so he can have his way with them. What a guy. Is this why some people are raving about Khalifa? Because he’s bringing back “real”, stupidly sexist hip-hop? As if it ever went away.

Adele
“Someone Like You”, #65
“Set Fire To the Rain”, #88

Adele has a voice—when she isn’t blasting like an air raid siren she manages to be both growly and vulnerable, with a touch of hysteria thrown in for good measure—but these are terrible songs, if they can even be graced with the designation of song at all. They’re set pieces for her voice; the lyrical blather serves as nothing but an indicator of what she’s getting so upset about. She’s young yet, so maybe she’ll learn, and when she gets around to making 35 she may even have something to say. But since her sales are encouraging her in the wrong direction, I don’t hold out much hope.

Big Time Rush featuring Snoop Dogg—”Boyfriend”
#79

Snoop teaming up with this Nickelodeon-sponsored boy band has a lot of people shaking their heads, but other than their choice of words and their preferred stimulants (Big Time Rush are high on life, you see), I don’t see much difference. Both have fairly shallow ideas about love and romance, one the result of inexperience, the other the result of too much experience. Snoop, of course, is super cool while BTR gush, but while BTR sees nothing but the stars in their own eyes, Snoop sees nothing but Gucci bags and the size of her thighs. Since they’re both looking for the wrong things, why shouldn’t they search together?

Mike Posner featuring Lil Wayne—”Bow Chicka Wow Wow”
#82

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/28/11

DJ Khaled featuring Rick Ross, Plies, Lil Wayne & T-Pain—”Welcome To My Hood”
#90

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/28/11

Kirk Franklin—”I Smile”
#97

I’d never heard of Franklin before this, and since he doesn’t actually sing on this track, I thought he was some sort of Prosperity Gospel preacher. But he has a long history on the gospel circuit and seems to be the real thing, though you’d never know it by listening to this happy jingle for Jesus. Not that it blatantly advertises itself as such: for the most part it’s a positivity anthem with a few religious references thrown in. It’s essentially all chorus, and though it seems friendly enough at first, it gets cloying fast, and then it goes on and on and doesn’t leave you alone, like a cheerful bus stop proselytizer who doesn’t recognize the fine line between being friendly and being an irritant. Franklin actually starts out irritating by dedicating the song to “depression, recession, and unemployment”, no doubt for opening desperate people’s hearts to the message of the church. Which is one of the reasons I, and many others, hate the church to begin with.

Joe Nichols—”The Shape I’m In”
#98

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/21/11

Aaron Lewis featuring George Jones & Charlie Daniels—”Country Boy”
#100

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/21/11