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Hot 100 Roundup—5/28/11

Thursday, June 2nd, 2011

Lady Gaga—”The Edge of Glory”
#3
Everything I’ve read about this record points out the Springsteen influence (how could it not with Clarence Clemons’ presence?) but I’ve yet to see anyone mention the band who are an equal influence on the sound of this record: Journey. Which is just another way of saying that though I’m impressed by GaGa’s talent, I have my doubts about the sources she taps for her highly skilled, perhaps even meaningful pastiches. Golden-era Madonna is one thing, and maybe even Elton John, but I have my doubts about Abba and Journey, and I even have doubts about Clarence Clemons, at least in this case. Like too many of the records that this is modeled, and admittedly improves, upon, the sax solo sounds stuck in because it’s expected, not becasue it fits. What saves her is the fact that she turns the meaning of the music she’s imitating on its head: what once seemed an echo of the narcisstic, grab it while you can, Reagan ’80s, is now used to promote individuality, tolerance, and freedom of expression. Of course, that’s how the ’80s started, too.

Enrique Iglesias with Usher featuring Lil Wayne—”Dirty Dancer”
#18
Better in many ways than Iglesias’ previous records, but except for Lil Wayne it still lacks in personality. Not that machine tooled dance music is a bad thing, and this is better than most, but I can only just tell Iglesias and Usher apart. But I admit I’m not trying very hard.

Glee Cast
“Rolling In the Deep”, #29
“Friday”, #34
“Jar Of Hearts”, #49
“Isn’t She Lovely”, #65
“I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend to Dance With You”, #72
“Dancing Queen”, #74

Steven Tyler—”(It) Feels So Good”
#35
Steven Tyler – Aerosmith = John Cougar Mellancamp + vocal range.

Rick Ross featuring Lil Wayne—”9 Piece”
#61
The problem isn’t the track, and it certainly isn’t Lil Wayne, though his rap is nothing special. It’s Ross, and his inability to inject any sort of meaningful emotion or subtlety into his voice. It isn’t exactly a monotone, but it’s damn close, and since he repeats himself a lot, it gets boring before he finishes the first chorus.

The Lonely Island featuring Michael Bolton—”Jack Sparrow”
#69
Like most comedy records, this is funny the first time through and becomes progressively more tired each time after that. Which only makes you notice how obvious and incompetent some of it is (stupidest move: they actually stoop to explaining the joke at the end of the record). If I had ever cared about Michael Bolton one way or the other I might be impressed by his willingness to make fun of himself, but I never did so I’m not. Besides, there’s nothing in the world more hackneyed and worn out at this point in time than Forrest Gump and Scarface jokes. This is the modern equivalent of the borscht belt schtick that comics like George Carlin and Richard Pryor revolted against in the ’60s. Let’s hope someone new comes along and kills this zombie comedy as soon as possible.

Zac Brown Band featuring Jimmy Buffett—”Knee Deep”
#73
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/21/11

Jordin Sparks—”I Am Woman”
#82
A word of advice to all would-be divas: when it comes time to record your feminist anthem, do not, repeat, do not ask Ryan Fucking Tedder to write it for you. It’s one thing to suggest, as Beyonce and Lady GaGa do, that glamor and high fashion are symbols of feminine strength and tools of feminine power; it’s something else altogether to imply that women were put on earth to wear stiletto heels.

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Hot 100 Roundup—3/12/11

Monday, March 7th, 2011

Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull—”On the Floor”
#9
Anyone with any sense knows why this debuted in the top ten. Lopez’s presence on American Idol may, in fact, be the only reason this record was made at all. Some people have already mentioned the irony involved in Lopez coaching singers when she doesn’t have much of a voice herself, but weak vocals are the least of this record’s problems, which is such a blatant grab-bag of current dance floor trends that even Pitbull sounds a little unsure of it. You can’t say Lopez and her producer, RedOne, aren’t up-to-date, but ripping off a track as recognizable as “Stereo Love” when it’s just peaked on the charts is about as daring as this record gets. For anyone who may have wondered whether it was RedOne or Lady Gaga who provided the creative firepower on The Fame, this should answer your questions quite nicely.

Glee Cast
“Don’t You Want Me”, #49
“Blame It (On the Alcohol)”, #55
“Tik Tok”, #61
Back to normal.

Wiz Khalifa featuring Too $hort—”On My Level”
#52
Not a terrible track, but the presence of Too $hort makes me question Khalifa’s judgement. Too $hort is now too old to indulge in stimulants himself, so instead he talks about getting girls loaded so he can have his way with them. What a guy. Is this why some people are raving about Khalifa? Because he’s bringing back “real”, stupidly sexist hip-hop? As if it ever went away.

Adele
“Someone Like You”, #65
“Set Fire To the Rain”, #88
Adele has a voice—when she isn’t blasting like an air raid siren she manages to be both growly and vulnerable, with a touch of hysteria thrown in for good measure—but these are terrible songs, if they can even be graced with the designation of song at all. They’re set pieces for her voice; the lyrical blather serves as nothing but an indicator of what she’s getting so upset about. She’s young yet, so maybe she’ll learn, and when she gets around to making 35 she may even have something to say. But since her sales are encouraging her in the wrong direction, I don’t hold out much hope.

Big Time Rush featuring Snoop Dogg—”Boyfriend”
#79
Snoop teaming up with this Nickelodeon-sponsored boy band has a lot of people shaking their heads, but other than their choice of words and their preferred stimulants (Big Time Rush are high on life, you see), I don’t see much difference. Both have fairly shallow ideas about love and romance, one the result of inexperience, the other the result of too much experience. Snoop, of course, is super cool while BTR gush, but while BTR sees nothing but the stars in their own eyes, Snoop sees nothing but Gucci bags and the size of her thighs. Since they’re both looking for the wrong things, why shouldn’t they search together?

Mike Posner featuring Lil Wayne—”Bow Chicka Wow Wow”
#82
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/28/11

DJ Khaled featuring Rick Ross, Plies, Lil Wayne & T-Pain—”Welcome To My Hood”
#90
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/28/11

Kirk Franklin—”I Smile”
#97
I’d never heard of Franklin before this, and since he doesn’t actually sing on this track, I thought he was some sort of Prosperity Gospel preacher. But he has a long history on the gospel circuit and seems to be the real thing, though you’d never know it by listening to this happy jingle for Jesus. Not that it blatantly advertises itself as such: for the most part it’s a positivity anthem with a few religious references thrown in. It’s essentially all chorus, and though it seems friendly enough at first, it gets cloying fast, and then it goes on and on and doesn’t leave you alone, like a cheerful bus stop proselytizer who doesn’t recognize the fine line between being friendly and being an irritant. Franklin actually starts out irritating by dedicating the song to “depression, recession, and unemployment”, no doubt for opening desperate people’s hearts to the message of the church. Which is one of the reasons I, and many others, hate the church to begin with.

Joe Nichols—”The Shape I’m In”
#98
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/21/11

Aaron Lewis featuring George Jones & Charlie Daniels—”Country Boy”
#100
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/21/11

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Bubbling Under—2/28/11

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

DJ Khaled featuring Rick Ross, Plies, Lil Wayne & T-Pain—”Welcome To My Hood”
#102
You don’t tamper with the formula, even if your hooks are getting a little worn and the minor changes you make to the beats don’t fool anybody. This is more of the same, only less; the urgency of Khaled’s first couple of singles is long gone, and now it’s just a bunch of rappers doing the guy a favor. T-Pain’s hook goes nowhere; Rick Ross is slightly above average; Lil Wayne, as usual, gets off the best line (“I talk a lot of shit and I practice what I preach”); and Plies is, much to my surprise, bearable. But what’s the point?

The Avett Brothers—”Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise”
#103
A Grammy approved, elegiac waltz with intensely sincere vocals and lyrics that suggest major trouble but never explain what kind; if this is the best (or only) thing alt-country has to offer, I think I’ll stick to the mainstream.

Mike Posner featuring Lil Wayne—”Bow Chicka Wow Wow”
#107
Posner is a problem. He’s a good producer—this is an interesting mix of hip-hop suggestiveness and rock-based electric-guitar balladry—but what he produces is schmaltz. Even when he’s trying his best to sound like Lil Wayne if Lil Wayne could sing, nothing comes through but the fact that he’s a generally nice guy who’s a complete failure at trying to sound tough. Meanwhile, Lil Wayne talks shit again, and practices what he preaches. As does the guitar solo.

Selena Gomez—”Shake It Up”
#109
Gomez is always better the further away from Disney she gets, and though this theme song for a new series is closer to what she’s done on her own, it’s still a Disney series theme song, which means it’s corny in ways that are definite yet difficult to pin down. Let’s just say that’s it’s totally non-threatening; it doesn’t promise anything but a good time. One that doesn’t involve sex, alcohol, or drugs, that is. It does contain sugar, though—lots and lots of sugar.

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Hot 100 Roundup—10/31/10

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Mean”
#11
The idea that this record is intended as an assault on music critics in general, or even specific ones who I won’t mention by name, strikes me as ridiculous. So ridiculous, in fact, that I wonder if those suggesting it have actually listened to the song. The real target, as made obvious in both the lyrics and, most importantly, the traditional bluegrass sound, is the country audience itself, and especially those of a certain bent (though Swift never sinks so low as to actually call them rednecks) who fill the comment sections of country web sites with misspelled and grammatically incorrect attacks on Swift’s technical abilities. In other words, she’s taking on what is often spoken of as the heart of the country audience, the rural, “true” Americans who make sure no country singer ever dares step out of line, and telling them to shut the hell up. Teenage rebellion being essentially unheard of in the country charts, most critics seem not to recognize it when they hear it, especially when it’s hidden behind a lovely tune and cheery sarcasm. Swift is not only better than most everybody else, she may be better than anyone dared hope. And she’s still growing.

Katy Perry—”Firework”
#57
I cut Perry a lot of slack, and she’s capable of doing wonderful things, but only when she’s not being serious about it, or taking herself as some sort of image for youth. This is a stylistic mess, bland and irritating at the same time, with vocals that sound like she’s attempting a Steve Perry imitation. It’s as if Journey had tried to write a rave anthem.

Hannah Montana featuring Iyaz—”Gonna Get This”
#66
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

Willow—”Whip My Hair”
#78
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/17/10

Kanye West featuring Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Bon Iver & Nicki Minaj—”Monster”
#79
Kanye may think of himself as a monster, but he isn’t capable of sounding like one, no matter how hard he tries. Ditto Rick Ross, who sounds lost. The Bon Iver coda is an interesting surprise, suggesting deeper ideas that are never quite fleshed out. Nicki Minaj’s vocal contortions are fascinating, but they get old fast, and she doesn’t say much. All of which leaves Jay-Z in control of the record, especially when he brings it to a full halt announcing that he never gets enough love (this is after bragging about killing anyone who gets in his way). It’s a bit too much of a set piece to be believable or revealing, but it’s a hilarious shock all the same.

Kings Of Leon—”The End”
#82
This is the first record I’ve heard from these guys that makes a case for their reputation, or at least their record sales. Opening up their sound reveals an emotional center and does a better job of suggesting they possess real feelings than all their bombastic declarations. Mind you, it may all be by rote, but at least they’ve found a more skillful way of faking it.

Rihanna featuring Drake—”What’s My Name?”
#83
Drake, with his stupid, phoned-in ancient sex jokes, is as irritating as ever, but once he’s finished, this dancehall-inflected mid-tempo jam is the return to Rihanna’s old dance-pop style that she’s been advertising. Only now it’s informed by a sharper and darker sensibility, and a deeper emotional resonance. The mechanical, producer’s toy quality of her vocals has disappeared, and if she doesn’t have much to say, at least she sounds like a complete human being.

T-Pain featuring Rick Ross—”Rap Song”
#89
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

My Darkest Days featuring Ludacris—”Porn Star Dancing”
#90
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/17/10

Lloyd—”Lay It Down”
#91
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

The Black Keys—”Tighten Up”
#93
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/24/10

Natasha Bedingfield—”Strip Me”
#95
The martial drum sound tips you off to the presence of Ryan Tedder, trying his best to turn this into another “Halo”, but the rest of the record, for better or worse, is all Bedingfield. Once upon a time she tried to set Shelley and Keats to a hip-hop beat; now it seems her only literary inspiration is collections of daily affirmations. At the same time she sounds royally pissed off, most likely at her record company, if not at the world in general. Despite the somewhat daring chorus, she isn’t doing anything here she hasn’t done before. She remains an odd, puzzling disappointment.

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Hot 100 Roundup—10/24/10

Friday, October 29th, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Back To December”
#6
The problem with most pop and country ballads isn’t that they’re slow and lugubrious (though they often are), but that they’re so damned predictable. You can see every turn in the melody and lyric (if there are any turns, which is another problem) coming before you’ve even gotten through the solemn piano intro. Not this one. Almost effortlessly, Swift generates the drama a good ballad is supposed to contain. She can pack more words into a line without sounding like she’s overdoing it than anyone in the business, and the melody, which bounces up and down like a heartbeat on the chorus, goes places no other country balladeer would ever consider. She constantly comes up with lyrical details that sound lived in rather than looked up, and unlike most of Swift’s previous records, the ending is ambiguous and avoids another fairy tale conclusion. Though how any man with sense could say no to her is beyond me.

Glee Cast
“Lucky”, #27
“River Deep, Mountain High”, #41
“Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy”, #48
“Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”, #50
“Sing!”, #87
“Le Jazz Hot”, #94

Nelly featuring T-Pain and Akon—”Move That Body”
#54
Since Nelly has already made his comeback I can’t call this “three attempted comebacks on a single record”, but that sure is what it sounds like. Nelly is all right, and Akon is Akon, but T-Pain has never sounded duller, auto-tuning the only thing that makes him identifiable. Live by the plug-in, die by the plug-in.

Sugarland—”Little Miss”
#80
Sugarland suffers from what I’ve always thought of as Jackson Browne Syndrome. Crafty, catchy, and intelligent as they obviously are, too often their music seems totally detached from their lyrics, and on a song like this, when the lyrics aren’t clear, it’s virtually impossible to discover what the damn thing is about. Feelings, I guess, nothing more than feelings.

Darius Rucker—”This”
#83
Another ordinary celebration of the ordinary from the king of same. Though it’s possible to admire his consistency, if it isn’t a rut it sure ain’t a groove.

Trace Adkins—This Ain’t No Love Song”
#100
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/17/10

Bubbling Under:

T-Pain featuring Rick Ross—”Rap Song”
#103
It’s probably unfair to compare T-Pain to The-Dream—The-Dream is a kind of genius, whereas T-Pain is a guy who had one brilliantly inspired idea and whose inspiration is fading fast—but if I’m going to listen to a song about making love to other people’s music, I’ll stick to “Kelly’s 12 Play”. Aside from a clever, if somewhat aged, Kanye joke, and the tasteless suggestion of having sex to Straight Outta Compton, this contains nothing to distinguish it from a lot of other auto-tuned slow jams. And has Rick Ross ever sounded more out of place than he does here? Did they just lift his rap from another record and stick it in?

Lloyd—”Lay It Down”
#105
Lloyd’s made some strong records over the last couple of years, but unlike Trey Songz, who was in a similar position until he finally broke a few months ago, Lloyd hasn’t been as lucky on the charts. And now it sounds as if he’s getting desperate, because this song is seriously insane. Vocally it’s all over the place, crooning here, yelping there, auto-tuned and stretched like a rubber band in the chorus, and ending, God help us all, with yodeling. He sounds like he’s having a great time, but the rest of us are left scratching our heads. It gets your attention, but where exactly is this all supposed to end? And will anybody else be around when it does?

My Chemical Romance—”Only Hope For Me Is You”
#106
This is strong and catchy, but it goes on too long and gets dangerously close to Linkin Park territory. There’s such a thing as coming on too strong. Trust your sense of humor, guys, it hasn’t failed you yet.

The Black Keys—”Tighten Up”
#110
Danger Mouse’s production makes this more than just a late-’60s funk/rock homage, but not much more, and the vocals and lyrics take you right back to Grand Funk Railroad territory. And if there’s any band who’s reputation doesn’t need a positive reassessment, it’s Grand Funk Railroad. Queen was bad enough.

Big Time Rush—”Til I Forget About You”
#111
Catchier and more mature than their first single, but still nothing to get excited about, even if you’re thirteen. In fact, they may have matured just enough to put themselves into demographic limbo.

Hannah Montana featuring Iyaz—”Gonna Get This”
#112
Despite the credit to Hannah Montana rather than Miley Cyrus, this is not Disney pop. Disney pop doesn’t exist anymore. Partly this is because Disney pop has become more mature and up-to-date, but largely it’s because pop music itself has taken a giant step in the direction of Disney. There’s now no noticeable difference between the two. No doubt this was Disney’s plan all along, though it does make you wonder how they’ll distinguish any stars they try to create in the future from the mass. As for this record, it’s pretty good, nearly as good as anything Miley Cyrus has put out under her own name, though not as good as the best stuff she did as Hannah Montana. Since there’s no real difference between the two anymore, I suppose it’s as good a time as any to end it.

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New this Week—8/1/10

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

Katy Perry—”Teenage Dream”
#20
What makes this a perfect pop record isn’t its sound, which is fairly standard Dr. Luke/Max Martin (the most disappointing thing about it is that it starts exactly like “My Life Would Suck Without You”) or Perry’s voice (though those who say she can’t sing should note the sense of yearning she injects into the words “live forever”), it’s the perspective. It isn’t a song about being a teenager, it’s a song about love and lust making you feel like a teenager, an idea that everyone, no matter what their age, can appreciate. In other words, it’s a new version of “Like a Virgin”, with it’s double entendre replaced by a milder kinkiness (since he makes her feel like a teenager, she’s going to dress like one for him) and a suggestion of stability (the reference to multiple Valentines suggests they’ve been together for a while, though I suppose that may be romantic projection). According to Perry, this record was worked over and over again in the studio, as she fought with her producers to get exactly what she wanted. It was worth it.

Bruno Mars—”Just the Way You Are”
#43
A pleasant voice and a gift for hooks are one thing, but what really sets Mars apart from his contemporaries is his sheer shamelessness and lack of what might be called mature taste. If he wants to write a song that’s essentially a Valentine’s card, then he’s going to go all the way with it and make sure it has all the trimmings. Comparing him to Billy Joel in this case is obvious, but not far from the truth, either. He doesn’t go too far, though, just balancing on the edge of sentiment and hokum. Some may say he falls in, but I appreciate his youthful willingness to be corny. His effects are obvious, and his music is designed to go down easy, but he’s goodhearted and open enough that those aren’t major detriments—yet. Once he’s a star, and this record will probably make him one if he isn’t already, we’ll see how he holds up. I suspect he has more reserves of talent and strength than a lot of people give him credit for, and an ego to match. Which doesn’t mean that within a year he won’t be completely unbearable; so enjoy this pleasing fluff while you can.

Ne-Yo—”Champagne Life”
#75
Ne-Yo’s music gets better and better—sexy, stylish, sophisticated, but never smarmy. He’s like the George Clooney of R&B: his self-confidence, which never turns into mindless brag, is central to his appeal, and he’s smart enough to be funny about it. The joke about his handclaps being sexier than other people’s is perfect. This doesn’t really go anywhere, it’s an exercise in style more than anything else, but it’s a great record all the same. He says straight out that his job is to make it look easy, and he does.

Rick Ross featuring Drake & Chrisette Michelle—Aston Martin Music
#98
Whatever else one might think of Ross, he knows how to put a beat together, or at least knows how to choose one, which in rap these days is all that matters. This is silky smooth and as shiny as its namesake. Ross’s raps, though, are all cliche, and often—in this case, at least—cruder than they need to be. Chrisette Michelle sounds too ethereal to be on the same record with lines like “I love a nasty girl who’ll swallow what’s on the menu”. As for Drake, he acquits himself better than expected, though every time he mentions being “caught in the life” I find myself snorting in disgust at the privileged little twit.

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The year so far

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

According to almost everyone, 2010 has been a great year in just about every genre: alternative, country, hip-hop, techno—great records have been popping up everywhere, from both new and old artists, with a full schedule of promising releases to come.

But if that’s true, and for the most part I think it is, not much of that greatness has been showing up on the pop chart, or if it has it’s come and gone so fast it’s barely been noticed. At least four of my favorite records this year, “Super High”, “Love King”, “I’m Single”, and “Reverse Cowgirl”, disappeared from the chart after a week or two. Others, such as Jay-Z’s “On To the Next One” struggled to climb into the top 30, and then dropped quickly once they reached their peak.

Mind you, if what you’re looking for is party music, you can’t do much better than most of the records that made the top ten this year. Straight ahead rhythms uncomplicated by any sense of hesitancy or messy emotion have dominated the market, with only top drawer sellers like Rihanna and Eminem daring anything that requires much thought on the part of the audience. I like a lot of the records that have made the top ten so far this year, but I can think of only one or two that will have any long lasting effect. Party music is designed to be ephemeral, so that’s hardly a criticism, just a recognition of the way things are, and are likely to remain for some time.

Most of what I consider the best of the year so far comes from a little further down the charts, though of course that’s no guarantee of durability. Even I was surprised, though, that my number one would turn out to be the darkest record to make the charts this year, a record so full of bad feeling that it dropped off the charts after a single week and has been ignored by just about everybody. Who’d have thought I could feel alone in praising a Lil Wayne single?

As for the worst, it should be pointed out that this list does not include any of the Glee Cast singles, which are not only terrible but should never have been released in the first place. If I had included them, they would have occupied all ten places and then some. At one point, I considered making “Ice Ice Baby” both the worst and best single of the year, but that was just cynicism. I feel better now, honest.

The Best So Far (in approximate order of preference)

1. Lil Wayne – I’m Single
2. The-Dream – Love King
3. Cali Swag District – Teach Me How To Dougie
4. The Black Eyed Peas – Rock That Body
5. Rick Ross featuring Ne-Yo – Super High
6. Selena Gomez and the Scene – Naturally
7. Jay-Z featuring Swizz Beats – On To the Next One
8. Miranda Lambert – The House That Built Me
9. Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys – Empire State of Mind
10. T-Pain – Reverse Cowgirl

The Worst (in alphabetical order)

1. Alpha Rev – New Morning
2. Artists for Haiti – We Are the World 25
3. Justin Bieber featuring Jaden Smith – Never Say Never
4. Dirty Heads featuring Rome of Subllime with Rome – Lay Me Down
5. David Guetta featuring Fergie and LMFAO – Gettin’ Over You
6. Avril Lavigne – Alice
7. Muse – Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever)
8. Christina Perri – Jar of Hearts
9. Mike Posner – Cooler Than Me
10. Shiny Toy Guns – Major Tom

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New this week—7/18/10

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

The Band Perry—”If I Die Young”
#92
For a country death song, surprisingly unsentimental. It approaches death from a naive teenager’s point of view, the perspective of someone who doesn’t understand what death really means, rejecting sentiment and adding a level of irony and pathos that the usual country lament would miss. Whether this is intentional or simply a result of the youth of the band, it makes for some startling emotional affects despite, but also because of, the occasional lyrical and musical lapses into juvenilia. It’s basically a Taylor Swift song taken to the next level of bathos, but they deserve praise for pulling it off, whether by accident or no.

Fantasia—”Bittersweet”
#94
I’ve always liked Fantasia’s records–as quirky as her voice is, she has a talent for digging down to the emotional center of her songs. This is another good one, but, once again, not a great one. The odd, little girl quality of her voice throws things off (especially in the spoken parts), the song isn’t much, and I’m getting tired of producers turning to The Stylistics every time they’re looking for a neo-soul signifier.

Rick Ross featuring Styles P—”B.M.F. (Blowin” Money Fast”)
#98
Ross’s m.o. is simple: take a good hard groove, layer a hooky, spoken word chorus over the top, stick some gangsta raps in between, and repeat endlessly. “Super High” worked because it had a more inviting groove and Ne-Yo to provide a friendlier hook than Ross can come up with on his own. Styles P doesn’t provide enough counterpoint to balance Ross’s endless repetition, and the groove is too menacing to be enjoyable. Not terrible, but not “Super High” by a long shot.

Dierks Bentley—”Up On the Ridge”
#99
I would appreciate Bentley’s much talked about bluegrass move a lot more if the song wasn’t packed with the usual cliches about sex in the sticks and if his bluegrass didn’t sound like it was trying to fill a stadium. Times change, I know, and I guess bluegrass does, too, but this just sounds like the usual country boy schtick only with more banjo picking and quieter drums. Wait a minute. Drums? I thought this was a bluegrass record.

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New this week—6/6/10

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

Lee DeWyze
“Beautiful Day”, #24
“Hallelujah”, #44h
“The Boxer”, #88
DeWyze won American Idol not because all the tweens voted for the cutest guy, but because the story he lived on the show was better than any backstory anyone else could have come up with. He started as an insecure dweeb and ended up a confident but still humble performer. He had to win; that’s the way these Cinderella stories are supposed to go. He has a decent voice, too, though none of the songs here demonstrate that very well. He obviously doesn’t care much for “Beautiful Day”, but he does seem to have some inkling as to what “Hallelujah” (in it’s third chart appearance this year) is about. “The Boxer”, however, is a disaster. You never mumble a Paul Simon lyric, no matter how bad it is.

Crystal Bowersox—”Up To the Mountain”
#57
Behind the dreads, behind the sunflower tattoo that covers her back and the stupid pushpin piercing under her lips, behind her mature but somehow innocent voice, Crystal Bowersox is one canny performer. I may be the only person in the world who thought her performance of this song on American Idol was terrible, obscuring the melody and losing the song in a maze of vocal flexing and filigree. But Bowersox knew what the Idol audience and judges wanted to hear, so she gave it to them. This studio recording is better, tamer and more to the point. Not as good as Kelly Clarkson’s version from a couple of years ago, but still worthwhile. And her voice is amazing.

Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox—”Falling Slowly”
#66
I hate this song. I don’t care who sings it, or how badly or how well they sing it. I hate this song.

Glee Cast—”Beth”
#72
Shoved off the charts by American Idol this week (an improvement, if a small one), the best Glee can manage is a soppy Kiss cover. Singing bad songs badly does not make them funny, it only makes them worse. Though I don’t expect anyone involved in Glee will ever realize it. I also suspect that they’re not trying to be funny.

Will Young—”Leave Right Now”
#81
What can you say about a guy who in comparison makes James Blunt sound like a great artist? That he should follow his own advice?

Paramore—”The Only Exception”
#90
Over Paramore’s usual thrashing, Hayley Williams sounds intelligent and cool, a slightly wistful cynic standing tall in the midst of emotional confusion. Over an acoustic backdrop, however, she sounds like any other female singer/songwriter with well-crafted lyrics whose sentimental rage turns into a sentimental crush when the right guy walks into the room.

Cali Swag District—”Teach Me How To Dougie”
#91
Not a form of jerkin’, according to them (their jeans aren’t skinny, for one thing), but the impetus is the same: turning hip-hop and rap back into party music. The crosstown rivalry, I suspect, will only be good for both. This is fresh and fun, and its appeal appears to be cross-generational—Jermaine Dupri, of all people, has done a remix. They already talk like the four marketeers, and have started a twitter campaign to get Soulja Boy on another remix. In other words, grab them now, before they’re spoiled. There will be a lot of one-hit wonders in this genre over the next couple of years. This is a good one.

J. Cole—”Who Dat?”
#93
Given time I might come up with an answer, except that all I can ever remember about this song is the question.

Ludacris featuring Trey Songz—”Sex Room”
#98
Ludacris has rarely been as funny as this without cracking an obvious joke, and the groove guarantees that even the porn-movie cliches carry an erotic charge. The groove is so good, in fact, that it allows Trey Songz to hold our attention to the very end without his actually having to come up with a lyric, uttering nothing but a few suggestive phrases and the title. Which only makes it sexier, of course.

Rick Ross featuring Ne-Yo—”Super High”
#100
I lot of people will write this off as a Ghostface rip, but I say, isn’t it time? If Ghostface’s tracks weren’t about pimps, whores, and drug dealers killing each other, and so laced with obscenity that a censored version would be half silence, his blaxsploitation-based grooves would be all over the charts, and probably the radio. As Kanye West might put it, he knows how to cook that crack music. Ross knows nothing but how to brag, and the music lacks the dense intensity of Ghostface, but the groove is so undeniable it would be meaningless to complain. As for Ne-Yo, he contributes his best hook since “So You Can Cry”, and raises the track up yet another level. A great one.

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New this week—2/28/10

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Christopher Wilde
“Hero”, #57
“StarStruck” #77
“Something About the Sunshine” (with Anna Margaret), #81
Christopher Wilde, in case you’re not a connoiseur of the Disney Channel, is the name of the fictional teen heart-throb in Disney’s latest made-for-TV tweener extravaganza, StarStruck. The actor who does the singing here is Sterling Knight, who the folks at Disney are no doubt hoping will become a real heart-throb. As Disney soundtracks go, these three songs are above average, less cutesy than the Hannah Montana or High School Musical numbers, without all the cloying lyrical uplift. They’re also more mature. “StarStruck” includes a line about girls who want to take Christopher out on a date and make him holler, which in the Disney universe is as close as you can get to an NC-17 rating. Disney is obviously beginning to realize that the audience for its teen fantasies is older than it was when High School Musical debuted four years ago. Those tweeners are into their mid- to late-teens now, and they want a little romance, and even a suggestion of sex, with their song and dance. But even though these are more adult than the standard Disney fare, they’re also not up to the best of the non-soundtrack material that Disney artists like Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Aly & AJ have put out the last couple of years. “Starstruck” moves along nicely, but it has nothing new to say about fame (Lady GaGa would seem to have a lock on that theme at the moment), and though I like the bouncy/stretchy sound effects on “Something About the Sunshine”, it’s obvious they’re there to hide its other weaknesses. So I’ll give Disney an A for effort and for upping their game, but only a B for the results.

k.d. lang—”Hallelujah (Vancouver Winter 2010 Version)”
#61
A few weeks ago I was complaining about Justin Timberlake’s attempt to recontextualize this song after the earthquake in Haiti. But this, performed by Lang at the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics (and what a celebratory piece of work it is!) is even worse. Verse by verse, Lang drains every ounce of meaning out of the song, and then bathes the final chorus in one of the most banal string arrangements I’ve ever heard. Even at the peak of her popularity I thought Lang was overrated, but I never thought she’d get as bad this.

DJ Khaled featuring T-Pain, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg & Rick Ross—”All I Do Is Win”
#64
The frustrating thing about DJ Khaled (aside from his fuzzy, overloaded, melodramatic beats) is that he’s a one-idea man. That doesn’t need to be a detriment—a lot of DJs have made great records with less than an idea—but Khaled’s depends entirely on the guests he finagles into rapping on his productions. The result is an often irritating variation in quality, not just from record to record, but within each record itself. In this case, he gets a mediocre but passable hook from T-Pain, a slightly above-average rap from Ludacris, and an unintelligible, below-average rap from Rick Ross. Then, just as you’re getting ready for the wind-down of another tepid Khaled production, Snoop Dogg steps up to the mike, and in four lines blows a hole in the middle of the record. I’m not familiar enough with Snoop’s stuff to know whether he’s used these lines before—all I know is they’re better than anything else I’ve heard Snoop come up with, and just about any other rapper I can think of, as well. It’s not just a matter of the shock of Snoop’s laid-back style compared to the others’, either, because every time I listen to this record that verse seems even more powerful, more portentous, more menacing. The only thing I can compare it to is Lil Wayne’s rap on Khaled’s “We’re Takin’ Over” a couple of years ago. Exactly why Khaled’s productions should be so inspirational to these guys I have no idea. Maybe there’s more to those beats than I’m picking up on.

Usher—”There Goes My Baby”
#71
The best thing Usher has done in years (he appears to have been listening to a lot of Ne-Yo and Maxwell), but still far short of whatever mark he’s aiming for. Whoever or whatever made him decide to cut short the middle-eight, which would have brought the song to a higher level, should be booted out of his entourage, or his head, as quickly as possible.

3Oh!3 featuring Neon Hitch—”Follow Me Down”
#89
You knew once they stopped being offensive they’d be boring, right?

Mariah Carey featuring Nicki Minaj—”Up Out My Face”
#100
Over the last few years Carey has been making the best music of her career (not a great leap, I know)—just in time for her audience to dry up and everyone under the age of 25 to start ignoring her. Judging by this record, which is only slightly above average but which she obviously had a great time making, and by reports of her recent concert appearances, she doesn’t really care. Good for her. That’s the sort of attitude that could make her even better.

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