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Skimming the Surface: Hot 100 Roundup—1/26/13

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

One thing that the new singles dominated market is starting to do is destroy the old release schedule paradigm. Last year’s summer lull was barely a lull at all, and here in mid-January the big guns are putting singles out when the memory of Christmas has barely faded, with the surprise release of Justin Timberlake’s first new music in six years leading off. The Taylor Swift single is something of a surprise as well, not just in terms of quality (poor), but in its being released at all. I imagine it was forced by popular demand—why else put out a Target-exclusive bonus track as a single just a couple of months after the album?

Blake Shelton—“Sure Be Cool If You Did”
#44

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Shelton has found the perfect groove, and it’s called Seduction. He’s charming, relaxed, has a good sense of humor even if he’s never witty, and honest about his desires without ever being heavy-handed or appearing lecherous. His boyishness has it’s limits, though. He appears to live in a world where he has no responsibilities other than satisfying women as well as he can, and making sure they have a good time before and after. His universe is the singles bar, and the world outside either doesn’t exist or can be easily shrugged off. People who appreciate that sort of fantasy should lap this up, because “Sure Be Cool If You Did” is the best job Shelton has done in this style yet. Though it’s hardly a compliment to say that Shelton is good at being shallow.

Taylor Swift—“The Moment I Knew”
#64

It’s easy to understand why “The Moment I Knew” wasn’t included on Red. For all the emotional relationship shifting Swift does on the album, she never resorts to pouting, breaking down in tears, or acting like a spoiled brat (entitled, maybe, but never spoiled). She does all that on “The Moment I Knew”. She’s never sounded more unappealing, and all the songwriting craft in the world—and right now she’s the best—isn’t going to make things any better. I don’t want to jump to conclusions here, but let’s face it: if you have a couple of bad relationships, there’s no telling what the cause might be, so you can just soldier on without worrying about it; but if you’re working on numbers three, four, five, or whatever, it’s time to check your own head and not be putting all the blame on others. Something is wrong, and it’s not just them.

OneRepublic—“If I Lose Myself”
#74

Can we assume that EDM is over now that OneRepublic has embraced it? “If I Lose Myself” is EDM-lite, to be sure, but it’s still EDM. Gone are the clattering, over-miked but at least human-sounding drums that have marked almost every Ryan Tedder production until now. Instead we get a smooth machine beat and looping synths reminiscent of Phillip Glass or Terry Riley in service to another of Tedder’s bland but oh-so-sincere love lyrics. It reminds me of when Steve Winwood went disco in the softest possible way. Goodbye, EDM, it was nice knowing you.

Justin Timberlake featuring Jay-Z—“Suit & Tie”
#84

Timberlake is too serious a talent to write off, but “Suit & Tie” is too shallow a record to take seriously. The Timbaland beat is great (and I’m sorry to say that that’s a surprise), and Timberlake has never sung better, but this is a song about dressing up to go out with a woman with a great ass, and nothing more. If anything, the quality of the music is too high, and when it gets deflated by the lyric it almost hurts. Retro-sophistication will only take you so far if all it does is swim on the surface. As for Jay-Z, I suspect he was brought in in consideration of his sartorial habits, not because his rap fits the song.

B.o.B. featuring T.I. & Juicy J—“We Still In This Bitch”
#95

This isn’t unlistenable, and everyone involved raps well, but I find it almost impossible to pay attention. The title tells you what they’re going to say, and they don’t dare swerve from the script. “We Still In This Bitch” is as pro forma in its way as B.o.B.’s pop records, and without the benefit of a decent hook.

Imagine Dragons—“Demons”
#99

The things guys will say to get laid. Geez.

Kendrick Lamar—“Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe”
#100

It’s a muddled comparison, I know, but Kendrick Lamar is essentially Drake if Drake were capable of deep thought (as opposed to giving it lip service). Here, he even chooses a theme close to one of Drake’s own: how his friends have changed since he became famous. Lamar admits that he’s taken advantage of his fame even while complaining about those who are trying to take advantage of him, which isn’t far from Drake’s own admissions. Drake always sounds angry, though, and shrugs others off with barely a thought. Lamar doesn’t do that. He doesn’t sound angry or even irritated. Mostly he sounds disappointed, and his disappointment isn’t directed only at others. Since Lamar talks to himself so much on his tracks, I wouldn’t be surprised if the “bitch” who’s killing his vibe isn’t sometimes himself.

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Exposure

Friday, September 7th, 2012

I’ve been reviewing pop singles on this blog for almost eight years, and I’ve never gotten a reaction like I’m getting to my review in the Village Voice of OneRepublic’s new single. Part of it is numbers (I’ve never averaged much more than 40 hits a day), but it’s also the type of reader. I assume most of my readers are friends, other critics, or both. Most casual pop fans aren’t interested in criticism, and since I’m lousy at self-promotion I’ve never tried to reach out to them, anyway. So most of the readers of this blog would either share my dislike of OneRepublic and Ryan Tedder, or wouldn’t care.

But it’s the casual pop fan who does most of the record buying, who forms the strongest attachment to certain stars, and who is, though they would never admit this, most likely to be terrified of any opinion that’s the opposite of their own. I’ve experienced this in the past, on web forums and listserves where the merest hint of criticism will either get you pummeled with negative messages or ignored until the end of time. One person on The Well told me that since I didn’t like The Piano, I wasn’t worth talking to about anything. When I suggested that our disagreement was a basis for discussion rather than a reason to ignore each other, I got no reply. I did, however, hear from other members. They accused me of harassment and told me to leave the person alone.

I wondered for a long time why so many people were afraid not only of criticism, but of anyone who expressed a strong opinion. My theory at the moment is that people know that most of their own opinions, however strongly they may be held, are built on nothing but air. They are either borrowed from sources they trust and consider more knowledgeable on the subject than themselves, or derived not from thought and consideration but from an emotional reaction (the situation of most pop fans). In either case, if they were asked to defend their opinions, they would find themselves at sea. Other than citing their sources, if they have any, their only options are flight, silence, or attack.

Which doesn’t mean they’re stupid. Every day, every person in the world does something like this. Faced with the need to have an opinion about something we haven’t thought much about, either because we’re asked or because a situation arises that makes it seem important, we wing it. Only the impossibly wise keep their mouth shut when asked their opinion about something they don’t know. And once we wing it we tend to stick to it, even when there’s no basis for it but emotion or some kind of gut feeling. Hence our defensiveness. But there isn’t any real defense, and we know it, and no one likes to be exposed in that way.

Which is why, though I always use both barrels in print, I’ve learned to hold back or even remain silent in face to face conversation. If someone told me they loved OneRepublic, I might politely demure, but most likely I wouldn’t say anything at all. I’d just nod. This goes for any direct communication, not just face to face. Unless I know that the person I’m talking to knows me well enough not to be offended (or is also a critic, in which case we let it rip), I’m more cagey and polite about my opinions. If it were a matter of morality, or ethics, maybe even politics, I might not be so hesitant, but pop music isn’t weighty enough (to most people, anyway) to get in that sort of mess on a regular basis.

Attacks on critics are another aspect of this. I don’t think people hate critics any more than they ever have, but they have more outlets for expressing it: comment sections, Twitter, Facebook, blogs, the reviews section on Amazon. The old saying that everybody is a critic is true. I’ve recently come to the conclusion, in fact, that the term “critical thought” is a redundancy. All conscious thought is critical thought, an attempt to make sense of the world as we face it each day, to navigate the dangers and confusions and novelties that pop up in our environment and in ourselves. Criticism seems odd to people because it’s applied to other people’s critical thought as expressed in the arts, and seems to deal only indirectly with life itself. It’s an added, often abstract layer of discussion that many people consider unnecessary or insulting. That criticism is as much an art form as any other, that at its best it deals directly with life as viewed through the prism of art either doesn’t occur to them or makes no sense.

That the critic exposes herself as much as the artist she writes about, as much as the audience for whom she tries to interpret the art, is something that’s lost in a slew of fear, doubt, and misunderstanding that too often express itself in frustration and anger.

People don’t like that the world is difficult to understand. I don’t like it, either. It scares me as much as it scares them. But cocooning yourself in the easy listening affirmations of OneRepublic isn’t going to make things better. You need to open up to more than that, no matter how scared you are. You need to expose yourself.

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WTF?
Hot 100 Roundup—7/14/12

Wednesday, July 11th, 2012

Owl City & Carly Ray Jepsen—“Good Time”
#18
Adam Young, better known as Owl City, should not try to be David Guetta (especially if he’s going to sing), and Carly Rae Jepsen, who, despite “Call Me Maybe”, still needs to establish herself as a career artist, shouldn’t be trying to help him. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a record that sounded like such an obvious cash-in on the part of everyone involved. From Young I don’t expect anything better, but “Call Me Maybe” is going to be in the top ten for the rest of the summer, and it’s way too soon to indulge in such an obvious ploy to keep Jepsen in the public eye. I also hear she’s working with Ryan Tedder. In a recent article in Billboard, Jepsen’s manager, Scooter Braun, was quoted as telling her that her life wasn’t going to be much fun for awhile. Doesn’t look like it’s going to be much fun for her audience, either.

Maroon 5—“Wipe Your Eyes”
#80
Despite, or perhaps because of his second career as judge/mentor on The Voice, Adam Levine has become the most irritating, if not the worst singer of our time. Here, with the assistance of producer J.R. Rotem, he emphasizes this fact by singing, via sample, with one of the best vocalists in the world, Mariam Doumbia of the Malian duo Amadou & Mariam. Rotem and Levine compound the mistake by using one of the duo’s greatest songs, the ethereal and mysterious “Sabali” (co-written and produced by Damon Albarn of Blur and Gorillaz; it may be the best piece of music he’s ever been connected with). The result is almost sad. Levine is so outclassed he doesn’t even try; his voice is hoarse and he sounds exhausted and depressed. If, by some chance, this results in “Sabali” getting the attention it deserves, then I guess this record’s existence will be good for something. But otherwise it’s not much more than a sour joke, one that even I can’t bring myself to laugh at. (Note: At least according to the Billboard listing, Doumbia, her writing partner Marc Antoine Moreau, and Albarn aren’t given a songwriting credit for this record; so maybe Levine’s vocal comeuppance is exactly what he deserves.)

Nero—“Promises”
#81
More pop than Skrillex (who has done a remix), but still identifiably dubstep (whatever that means by now), this is notable only for the fact that it’s a real song, and not just a beat with some vocals thrown on top of it. They may even have written the song before they came up with the beat, but judging by the way it stops and starts and stalls as it stumbles along, I assume not. It’s not a very good song, and if it wasn’t for the music (and the record’s placement in a TV commercial) no one in the U.S. would have noticed it. It did debut at number one in England, but it was a slow week.

Wale featuring Rick Ross, Meek Mill & T-Pain—“Bag of Money”
#93
What a generous guy Rick Ross is. Here, after giving Wale a brief guest spot on one of his many tracks, Ross turns around and allows Wale to release it under his own name, letting a little of that Rozay magic rub off on him as he struggles to establish a career (based on his rap here, he needs all the help he can get). Mind you, Ross knew this wasn’t a great track, and that it wouldn’t be a huge hit, even with T-Pain autotuning (or T-Paining I guess it’s now called—not to be confused with trepanning though the effect is often the same) in the background. Generosity has it’s limits.

Linkin Park—“Lost In the Echo”
#95
For Linkin Park, not bad. The lyrics lack their usual vague generalization and overbearing pretentiousness, and the music continues to modernize their sound without turning it into novelty dubstep. Not great, of course, but at least it isn’t laughable.

BTR—“Windows Down”
#97
Nickelodeon has tried every way to make Big Time Rush into real stars rather than just tween faves. They’ve given them top production and decent songs, got Snoop Dogg to do a guest spot, dressed them up in suits like Il Divo, everything. Here, they get modernized, their name shortened to BTR (already the name of one of their albums), and pointed roughly toward the same musical territory as The Wanted and One Direction. It doesn’t work, largely because the song is too busy and complicated (is anything on the radio simpler than the stuff The Wanted sing? They make nursery rhymes sound baroque), but also because, as singers, the members of BTR are undistinguished. You can’t create pop stars out of nothing, after all, or at least nothing but looks.

Zac Brown Band—“The Wind”
#99
This is better than most of Zac Brown’s stuff not only because it’s fast, but because it’s so loose. He lets the band show off in the best possible way, and the record not only zooms but swings (maybe Brown’s been listening to some Kentucky Colonels in between the Jimmy Buffett and James Taylor). And, for the first time I’ve heard, Brown sings like himself instead of one of his heroes. Turns out he doesn’t have much vocal personality of his own, which explains a lot.

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A Batch of Near Misses
Hot 100 Roundup—6/2/12

Friday, June 1st, 2012

Kenny Chesney—“Come Over”
#59
The mindless “Feel Like a Rock Star” to the contrary, in many ways Chesney has matured as an artist, and he’s become especially effective at songs like this, which emphasize a sense of regret while hinting at a barely restrained longing and sensuality. This may be more a matter of craft than sensibility—Chesney knows his stuff better than most anyone else in country—but it works as long as you don’t listen too deeply and catch the mechanics at work. I doubt he’ll ever top “You and Tequila”, but this is in the same ball park. Enough records like this and I may learn to tolerate him.

J. Cole featuring Missy Elliott—“Nobody’s Perfect”
#90
Cole is a good rapper, but his ideas are so confused that you’re never sure where he’s going or what point he’s trying to make. The beat is above-average but not great, and Missy Elliott, though always a pleasure to hear, provides only enough quality to maintain her reputation and nothing more. The only thing that’s noteworthy is the second reference to Plato to make the Hot 100 this year, but it’s a throwaway; Cole doesn’t build the whole track around it like Jay-Z and Kanye West did.

Gym Class Heroes featuring Ryan Tedder—“The Fighter”
#95
Ryan Tedder has appeared on God knows how many records, but as far as I can tell he’s written only two actual hooks, recycling them from song to song while changing the words and varying the arrangement just enough to cover his tracks. The good thing is that Tedder’s plaintive sentimentality forces Travie McCoy to act like a human being rather than a wind-up snark toy, making him far less irritating than usual. Not that it prevents McCoy from throwing out one of the worst ever examples of hashtag rap: “That’s when you press on/Lee Nails”. It’s so stupid and meaningless and so belittles the song’s message it’s almost disrespectful, especially coming from a guy who says he does it “for the kids”. I’m sure the twelve year olds who think he’s funny appreciate the effort.

Love And Theft—“Angel Eyes”
#98
I have no problem in general with power pop influenced country, even if it necessarily leans toward Tom Petty. The Band Perry, for instance, does very well with the idea, as does the more rock influenced Eric Church. But Church and the Perrys both dig into the emotional side of the form, while Love And Theft are nothing but machines. They get the sound right, the structure, even some of the clever lyrical turns, but they’re far more interested in technical perfection and hitting all the marks than expressing emotion. The result is a well-constructed song that is built from one tired trope after another and adds nothing to them: Songwriting 101 personified. The smartest thing they’ve done is name themselves after a Bob Dylan album, though I doubt they’ll ever live up to it.

Dustin Lynch—“Cowboys And Angels”
#100
In country, if you string enough well-worn clichés together with a decent title hook, you’ve got a song. Find a singer with an air of rough sincerity and enough gravel in his voice to be taken for a real cowboy, pair him with an arrangement that touches all the right buttons, and you’ve got a hit. Here’s another one.

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The Great, the Bad, and the Vaguely
Hot 100 Roundup—3/10/12

Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

B.o.B.—“So Good”
#11
One thing you can say about Bruno Mars, when he writes made-to-order hooks for other people’s records they at least have some emotional edge to them, which is more than Ryan Tedder, who’s responsible for this one, has ever managed. This is the worst sort of processed cheese, slimy and sticky and totally lacking in flavor. As for B.o.B., he’s obviously hoping to re-elevate himself to the pop plateau Mars placed him on two years ago. I assume Mars himself wasn’t available. I have a feeling Ryan Tedder is always available—for a price, that is.

Carrie Underwood—“Good Girl”
#24
I appreciate Underwood’s willingness, even desire, to rock out, but this jumble of clichés isn’t the best way to go about it. For one thing, she needs to settle on a single rock style; this jumps from Joan Jett to hair metal to glam without ever settling down long enough to plant its feet on the ground (or the stage). Plus, like too many of Underwood’s records, both the rockers and the ballads, it sounds mechanical—even when she gets loose everything seems to be carefully planned. It’s weird to think that right now the best country singer to come off American Idol is Kellie Pickler: any song you could choose from 100 Proof is better than this one.

Carly Rae Jepsen—“Call Me Maybe”
#38
Since Jepsen is twenty-six this isn’t technically tween pop, but it shares all the virtues of the genre and then some. It’s bright and bouncy, with a gorgeous and striking arrangement, but with enough of a self-possessed edge to make it hit home in ways you don’t expect. Not enough is made of how strong girls are in tween pop—even when they’re crushing over some boy they maintain their sense of dignity and self; in fact, one of the virtues they see in boys is the possibility of using them to increase their own strength and worth—not in the trophy sense, but in the sense of a real partnership. It’s a far more mature point of view than you find in most pop written for people in their twenties, which is why it has always seemed ironic that radio programmers think of tween pop as kiddie music. Jepsen may change that, because what she adds to the usual mix is sex. “Where you think you’re going, baby?” is one of the sultriest lines of the year, and the ambiguity as to who’s saying it, Jepsen or the boy she’s infatuated with, only makes it hotter. A great record.

Glee Cast
“Fly/I Believe I Can Fly”, #56
“Cough Syrup”, #65
“What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)”, #66
“Here’s To Us”, #73
“Glad You Came”, #90

fun.—“Some Nights”
#62
I’m still not entirely sure what to make of this record, but it’s growing on me. Stylistically it’s a jumble: country-folk harmonies on the intro, then Brazilian drums, with subtle touches of auto-tune and other electronics, and lyrics that are half chant and half Paul Simon-like confessional, covering a lot of uneven and difficult to navigate emotional ground. They do work one neat trick: the song starts as a generic complaint about a directionless life and then progressively adds more and more personal detail, as if the singer were realizing the roots and depths of his feelings as he goes along, and ends with what sounds like a breakup—whether from a lover, a city, or an entire life, is hard to tell. I suspect the jumble is intentional, and meant to lead somewhere, but they haven’t quite figured out how to do that, even if they do know where they’re going. Allowing the generic parts to overwhelm the personal stuff is a big mistake, and sometimes the connections they hope to make aren’t there. Promising, for sure, but I’ll withhold judgment for now.

Rihanna featuring Chris Brown—“Birthday Cake”
#63
Despite all the controversy over Chris Brown’s appearance on this record, the only real reason to listen to it is The-Dream, who creates a track that’s far dirtier than any of the lyrics and has more personality than either of the principals. One question, though: is that Robyn singing the bridge, or Rihanna imitating her? Uncanny, either way.

Tyga
“Muthafucka Up” (featuring Nicki Minaj), #74
“Make It Nasty”, #91
“Mothafucka Up” has a great beat, and Tyga makes the most of it, chopping up the rhythm on one line, riding it for all it’s worth on another. He may not have much to say, but he has the flow down. Minaj, meanwhile, plays it safe rhythmically and lyrically and contributes nothing special. Even with that let down it’s still far better than what Tyga delivers by himself on “Make It Nasty”, which is filler from beginning to end.

Usher—“Climax”
#81
I’ve never been much of an Usher fan, but thanks to Diplo this is as stunning as everybody says it is, a mix of lust, regret, self-realization and despair built on the most minimal of grooves. What’s most impressive is that even though the sound is open and spacious, the overall effect is one of claustrophobia, with electronic buzzes servings as symbols of the singer’s darkest and most despairing thoughts as they surround him. Best touch: the disembodied, wordless vocals that are sampled and dropped seemingly at random throughout the track, like some long-hidden pain suddenly rising to the surface.

Jason Aldean—“Fly Over States”
#92
As someone who has “drove through Indiana”, I can appreciate Aldean’s point of view, but once again the defensiveness of rural pride becomes a stumbling block. Or maybe I should say offensiveness, since the catalog of rural charms always seems to be used to attack shallow urbanites for their lack of appreciation of things like farmers (someone should write a study of how farming has become a self-sacrificing, patriotic act in the southern imagination while remaining a corporate monstrosity in reality), “water color” sunsets (which can be found anywhere) and girls from Amarillo (who can also be found anywhere, especially on the coasts, because they can’t wait to get out of Texas). Aldean doesn’t milk this as much as Montgomery Gentry and others, at least not lyrically, but since he’s a master of musical overkill the effect is much the same. It’s still chauvinism turning towards bigotry, no matter how you play it.

Young the Giant—“Cough Syrup”
#95
I suspect something “important” is being said here, but the lyrics and music are so generic and vague that it’s hard to get a bead on—something about the state of the world or generational apathy or personal ambivalence or something. The biggest problem is that I can’t tell whether the cough syrup reference is about needing a cure for the world’s ills or the desire to narcotize oneself into oblivion. The most confusing point is the line about “one more spoon of cough syrup now, oh whoa oh”. Do syrup addicts use spoons? I always thought they swigged straight from the bottle. And isn’t cough syrup designed to treat symptoms, not the actual illness? What good is that? Do these guys even know what their metaphors mean?

Listen on Spotify

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Hot 100 Roundup—11/26/11

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Taylor Swift
“If This Was a Movie”, #10
“Ours”, #13
“Superman”, #26
Swift’s detractors are no doubt salivating over the idea of her releasing a live album, but in the meantime they have to deal with these three new studio recordings, which overall are as good as anything she’s ever done. Her fans, though, have gotten it backwards, debuting these records in reverse order of quality. “If This Was a Movie” is an above average piece of professional pop (if there’s anything country about Swift anymore, I’m having a harder and harder time hearing it), but has nothing special to recommend it. “Ours” is as bright and cheerful as anything Swift has done, and nobody does bright and cheerful better, but it also flirts with coyness. She giggles, not once, but twice. Her giggle is cute and charming, but it’s a dangerous precedent. Finally there’s “Superman”, which is one of the best records she’s made (she knows it, too, that’s why it goes on for nearly five minutes). Superman’s mix of love, frustration, hope, and despair, each illustrated with sudden, sometimes obvious, sometimes subtle changes in vocal register and key, isn’t unlike records she’s made before, it’s just better: more confident, more polished, and more emotional. And though the title suggests she’s still mining fantasy worlds, this is more down to earth than some of her previous fairy-tale-like songs. After all, she used fairy tales as a model not because she believed in them, but because fairy tales are so hopeful and optimistic. We could all use a lot more of that right now.

Update: I mistakenly thought these were new tracks, but they were actually released on a bonus disk that came with the Target Exclusive version of Speak Now when it was released last year, and have just been made available for download. That doesn’t change my opinion of them, but I thought it was a good idea to clear that up.

Matt Nathanson featuring Sugarland—”Run”
#53
As a one-hit adult-contemporary wonder Nathanson was irritating but bearable, but now he’s got Sugarland backing him up, which got him a prime spot on the CMAs, so here he is again, emoting cliches with the worst of them. You can tell how much of a hack he is by the insertion of the line “I know that it’s wrong” into the chorus. There’s nothing else in the song that suggests there’s anything wrong with what they’re doing, unless they’re using good sex as an excuse for guilt. As a culture, I thought we were over that. Or is that supposed to make the sex hotter?

Mac Miller—”Smile Back”
#55
Once again, the music is good but the lyrics ordinary. It’s not that Miller’s a terrible rapper, it’s that he has little to say and no original way of saying it. When he sayss that he’s a mixture of Lennon and UGK, all he’s telling us is that he doesn’t really understand either one.

Blake Shelton—”Footloose”
#63
At least the original was light on its feet; this galumphs in the worst mainstream country rock manner. Come to think of it, that’s what’s wrong with most mainstream country rock: they play it too heavy and too slow. I should thank Shelton for making that so obvious.

Glee Cast—”Uptown Girl”
#68

Dierks Bentley—”Home”
#70
Bentley recently performed at the White House, and I assume this was written for the occasion (country cash-ins can be so cheesy). It’s nice to have a piece of country patriotism that isn’t also jingoistic and xenophobic, but that doesn’t mean it’s any good.

Rihanna—”You Da One”
#73
Does this record actually exist? It’s nice enough when you’re listening to it (and it sounds very familiar), but it has no real peaks or valleys, or anything else to recommend it. When it’s over it’s really over, as if it were never there at all.

Faith Hill—”Come Home”
#82
Weird. This starts like a message to a loved one far away, but it turns out that the opening line, “Hello World” (never a good sign), is meant literally, and the song turns out to be about divisiveness and ideology (“a war between the vanities”), and Hill is urging everyone to get together and smile on your brother. That explains the otherwise inexplicable minute-long, psychedelic coda (if Tommy James & the Shondells is your idea of psychedelic) and the ominous fade. It’s like a countrypolitan flashback to 1969. It would be nice to blame everything on songwriter Ryan Tedder, since he’s responsible for so much bad music these days, but Hill co-produced this without Tedder, and she appears to have taken the song very seriously. I’m sure she meant well.

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Bubbling Under—7/30/11

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

DJ Drama featuring Fabolous, Roscoe Dash & Wiz Khalifa—”Oh My”
#101
In which three guys who have never had anything to say say it together over a track that has nothing to say, either. At least DJ Khaled’s tracks are full of racial pride; this is just full of it.

Big Sean featuring Kanye West & Roscoe Dash—”Marvin & Chardonnay”
#102
Big Sean is Big Sean, Roscoe Dash is, I guess, Roscoe Dash—to tell the truth I didn’t even realize he was on here until I read the credits—and Kanye West is a strange and shriveled parody of himself. First time I heard this I thought West was Big Sean doing a Weezy imitation; even when I realized it was West himself I could barely believe it. It’s not just that his verse is bad—West has been bad plenty of times before—it’s that it isn’t even an interesting or offensive form of bad, it’s sub-par in every possible way. Now I’m beginning to wonder if it isn’t West making fun of Big Sean instead of the other way around.

Pia Toscano—”This Time”
#105
Apparently Jimmy Iovine thinks Toscano can be a star despite her early booting off of American Idol. To prove it, he gets Ester Dean to write up a pale imitation of a Ryan Tedder track and tells Toscano to sing as loudly as she can. At least that’s how I imagine it went. I figured I’d give Toscano a break and not blame her the first time out. Next time, though…

Craig Campbell—”Fish”
#109
This is as dirty as country can get and still be played on the radio, though I suspect the only program it would really fit on is the old Dr. Demento show. The main joke you see, is rhyming “fish” with “truck” and “luck”, an idea that puts it right up there with “Shaving Cream” in the intellectual humor department. There are also some double entendres involving fishing rods and little pink bobbers. Which doesn’t mean it isn’t enjoyable in a leering, adolescent sort of way.

Rascal Flatts featuring Natasha Bedingfield—”Easy”
#121
What exactly is Natasha Bedingfield, or her management, or her record company, thinking? A few years ago she was pioneering a form of white-girl hip-hop which, if slick as hell, at least carried some meaning; now she’s lending her voice to one of the worst bands in the world on a “country” power-ballad that makes Lady Antebellum look like masters of emotional restraint. Unless she’s planning to go “country” herself how does this possibly further her career other than keeping her name in the charts? Yeah, her last album tanked, but that’s because she had lost track of where her true strengths lie. Now she’s even further off course.

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Hot 100 Roundup—6/25/11

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

Paramore—”Monster”
#36
As their craft improves their energy, though still strong, becomes more streamlined and automatic, and less interesting. This is above-average pop-metal, but if the song weren’t so obviously about the band’s fractious split last year, would anybody care?

Brad Paisley with Carrie Underwood—”Remind Me”
#59
Frustrating. It’s a good idea for a song, the chorus is cute and catchy, and Paisley’s first guitar solo is as erotic as country ever gets. But Paisley loses control of this record somehow, which is rare for him. By the end, the arrangement seems designed to drown out the singers, and since we’re talking about Carrie Underwood, more drowning out is required than normal ears can stand; some of her high notes are so piercing they could be used in invisible fencing systems.

Pitbull—”Pause”
#73
A gimmicky confection based on what I assume is a Euro-disco sample, which, coming from Pitbull, is just about my favorite sub-genre right now. It gets a bit tiresome when you sit and listen, but I bet it kills on the dance floor. Pitbull isn’t a genius, but he knows what he wants and he knows how to get it. His single-mindedness may be his greatest virtue.

Dia Frampton—”Heartless”
#78
I’ve been debating whether I should refuse to comment on The Voice singles the same way I have Glee, and this record, horrible in every way, certainly makes me lean in that direction. I understand the power of television to make hits, but this, even more than Glee, is an unjustifiable waste of time and energy. It isn’t a waste of talent though, because no actual talent is involved.

Selena Gomez & the Scene—”Bang Bang Bang”
#94
What has always separated producers Tim James and Antonina Armato (otherwise known, unfortunately, as Rockmafia) from their Disney-pop colleagues is the undercurrent of smoldering eroticism that runs through their music. Even though they’re making straight pop records in a time of excess, they almost always keep their cool, and rarely overplay their hand. Gomez, it turns out, is the perfect delivery system for their brand of low-key sensuality: relaxed, knowing, and all-powerful without once raising her voice or engaging in meaningless melisma, she sounds more mature and experienced than not only her own 18 years, but than most 30-year-olds. The obvious double entendre of the title may make the message too clear, but even without it everyone would know exactly what this guy will be missing. And yet radio still treats Gomez like she’s kid’s stuff.

Toby Keith—”Made In America”
#95
In a way it’s a relief that Keith saved his jingoistic nonsense for the fourth or fifth single off his new album. He’s probably as tired of this stuff as most everyone else, and only does it because it’s expected of him. If the earlier tracks had been more successful he probably wouldn’t have released this as a single at all. But here it is all the same, another stolid piece of propaganda, country-style, all about the patriotic act of paying a little more for locally produced goods (maybe he should join the locavore movement). Odd exception: the King James bible. Keith must know that’s not really an American product, right?

Gavin DeGraw—”Not Over You”
#96
Ryan Tedder, as producer, continues his way down the pop music foodchain and finds a willing victim in DeGraw, who hasn’t had a decent hit since his debut six years ago and welcomes Tedder and his echoey drums with open arms. The result is old-school faux-soulful sincerity updated with new-school faux-soulful sincerity. Just what we’ve all been waiting for.

Romeo Santos—”You”
#97
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/28/11

Martina McBride—”Teenage Daughters”
#100
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/16/11

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Hot 100 Roundup—5/28/11

Thursday, June 2nd, 2011

Lady Gaga—”The Edge of Glory”
#3
Everything I’ve read about this record points out the Springsteen influence (how could it not with Clarence Clemons’ presence?) but I’ve yet to see anyone mention the band who are an equal influence on the sound of this record: Journey. Which is just another way of saying that though I’m impressed by GaGa’s talent, I have my doubts about the sources she taps for her highly skilled, perhaps even meaningful pastiches. Golden-era Madonna is one thing, and maybe even Elton John, but I have my doubts about Abba and Journey, and I even have doubts about Clarence Clemons, at least in this case. Like too many of the records that this is modeled, and admittedly improves, upon, the sax solo sounds stuck in because it’s expected, not becasue it fits. What saves her is the fact that she turns the meaning of the music she’s imitating on its head: what once seemed an echo of the narcisstic, grab it while you can, Reagan ’80s, is now used to promote individuality, tolerance, and freedom of expression. Of course, that’s how the ’80s started, too.

Enrique Iglesias with Usher featuring Lil Wayne—”Dirty Dancer”
#18
Better in many ways than Iglesias’ previous records, but except for Lil Wayne it still lacks in personality. Not that machine tooled dance music is a bad thing, and this is better than most, but I can only just tell Iglesias and Usher apart. But I admit I’m not trying very hard.

Glee Cast
“Rolling In the Deep”, #29
“Friday”, #34
“Jar Of Hearts”, #49
“Isn’t She Lovely”, #65
“I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend to Dance With You”, #72
“Dancing Queen”, #74

Steven Tyler—”(It) Feels So Good”
#35
Steven Tyler – Aerosmith = John Cougar Mellancamp + vocal range.

Rick Ross featuring Lil Wayne—”9 Piece”
#61
The problem isn’t the track, and it certainly isn’t Lil Wayne, though his rap is nothing special. It’s Ross, and his inability to inject any sort of meaningful emotion or subtlety into his voice. It isn’t exactly a monotone, but it’s damn close, and since he repeats himself a lot, it gets boring before he finishes the first chorus.

The Lonely Island featuring Michael Bolton—”Jack Sparrow”
#69
Like most comedy records, this is funny the first time through and becomes progressively more tired each time after that. Which only makes you notice how obvious and incompetent some of it is (stupidest move: they actually stoop to explaining the joke at the end of the record). If I had ever cared about Michael Bolton one way or the other I might be impressed by his willingness to make fun of himself, but I never did so I’m not. Besides, there’s nothing in the world more hackneyed and worn out at this point in time than Forrest Gump and Scarface jokes. This is the modern equivalent of the borscht belt schtick that comics like George Carlin and Richard Pryor revolted against in the ’60s. Let’s hope someone new comes along and kills this zombie comedy as soon as possible.

Zac Brown Band featuring Jimmy Buffett—”Knee Deep”
#73
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/21/11

Jordin Sparks—”I Am Woman”
#82
A word of advice to all would-be divas: when it comes time to record your feminist anthem, do not, repeat, do not ask Ryan Fucking Tedder to write it for you. It’s one thing to suggest, as Beyonce and Lady GaGa do, that glamor and high fashion are symbols of feminine strength and tools of feminine power; it’s something else altogether to imply that women were put on earth to wear stiletto heels.

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Hot 100 Roundup—12/12/10

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

Glee Cast
“Dog Days Are Over”, #22
“Hey, Soul Sister”, #29
“(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life”, #38
“Valerie”, #54
“Don’t Cry for Me Argentina”, #97

Coldplay—”Christmas Lights”
#25
Even with Brian Eno producing, they’re still a bunch of pretentious boobs, and this sounds like what might have happened if Genesis had tried to rewrite The Pogues’s “Fairytale of New York”. Except this version focuses entirely on how sorry the guy is feeling for himself; it never dares to suggest that he might deserve his lonesome fate. Maybe that’s because it’s too busy trying to sort out its pseudo-poetic lyrics: “I took my feet down to Oxford street”. Really? Did you carry them in a sack?

Flo Rida featuring Akon—”Who Dat Girl”
#55
Flo Rida’s presence is so minimal in relation to everything that makes this record worthwhile you’d barely know he was on it if you didn’t read the credits. If you did, you’d realize how much this record owes not only to Akon, who sings the hook, but also the omnipresent Bruno Mars, who co-wrote it, and Dr. Luke, who produced it. Makes you wonder what Mr. Rida’s actual contribution is. How about being the guy who knows what sells? That’s always enough to make you look like a supreme talent.

Victorious Cast featuring Victoria Justice—”Freak the Freak Out”
#78
This is the first of the Nickelodeon singles that comes close to the level of the Disney-pop they hope to cash in on, and it arrives just as Disney-pop itself is beginning to fade into memory. There will always be a market for clean-as-a-whistle, bouncy pop, and maybe Nickelodeon can cash in on the next generation (these things being counted, as they are, in five year intervals). This record, which is more Selena Gomez than Miley Cyrus, though nowhere near the best of either, sounds like a good place to start.

The Killers—”Boots”
#79
Did I say Coldplay were pretentious? They are, but only if you don’t compare them to The Killers. Lyrics that shift through time and space, suffused with regret and nostalgia; churchbells and thundering martial drums; a clip of Jimmy Stewart praying in It’s a Wonderful Life layered over opera and someone singing in Spanish; melodies swiped from Neil Young and cover art referencing Citizen Kane—this is their idea of a Christmas record. It’s as if they came from a planet where confusion is considered the highest possible art form (oh, I forgot, they’re from Vegas). Still, I like these guys a lot more than Coldplay because they at least partially justify their pretension. This is a mess, but the hooks soar the way they’re supposed to, the emotions, though difficult to sort out, are palpable, and Brandon Flowers sings like a human being. A confused one, I grant you, and one with delusions of grandeur, but human nonetheless. How many of those do you usually find on the pop charts?

Birdman featuring Lil Wayne—”Fire Flame”
#84
Wayne sounds like his old self, if not at his highest level (judging by the sound of “6’7″”, this was just a warm-up). Birdman sounds like his old self, as well, at a level that’s a little easier to reach. The result is perfectly fine, but nothing special.

Far*East Movement featuring Ryan Tedder—”Rocketeer”
#93
At this moment in time, it may look as if no one can lose with a Bruno Mars hook on their record, but that only applies if Mars is singing it. Tedder does a pretty good imitation, and no doubt this is a worthwhile break from writing “Halo” yet again, but this lacks both Mars’s sense of humor and his sense of reality. The rest is even worse, an indicator that Far*East Movement may be another one of those groups whose guests are better than they are. Maybe it’s time to check out that Dev & The Cataracs record.

Bubbling Under:

Fantasia—”I’m Doing Me”
#101
This is right up with Monica’s “Love All Over Me” in the “do they really know what they’re singing about?” sweepstakes. I get the feeling, though, that Fantasia has a better sense of what’s going on than Monica does. Which doesn’t save this from being ordinary in almost every other respect. Fantasia’s last couple of singles had a good neo-soul vibe to them, but this is tepid. You don’t suppose they pegged it as a single just because of the title, do you?

Chris Brown—”No BS”
#102
In which Brown promises a night of perfect sex (the condoms are in the dresser, darling) over a rhythm track that sounds like giant insects are trying to break into the room. The whole thing makes me feel itchy, and not in a good way.

Charlie Wilson—”You Are”
#103
After “There Goes My Baby”, I was hoping that Wilson would be able to mount a real comeback, but this is retro in the worst possible way. That is, it really does sound old, and it makes Wilson sound old, too.

Jamie Foxx featuring Drake—”Fall For Your Type”
#104
Jamie Foxx is a smart, talented guy, but he thinks he’s a lot smarter and talented than he actually is, and he overreaches and fails over and over again. This record is a complete conceptual disaster, its tempo too slow for its subject, its subject too light for its pretentious heaviness, its flashes of ego unleavened by humor or sense. Drake is more bearable than usual, but that’s all that can be said for it.

Jerrod Niemann—”What Do You Want”
#105
Niemann is good at what he does, but too much of what he does seems to be focused on nothing more than demonstrating how good he is. He’s a country classicist, and though there’s nothing wrong with that—it’s something of a relief, actually—it isn’t enough. This is perfectly crafted and absolutely empty.

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