Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg—”California Gurls”
#2
Unlike some, I’m offended by neither the title nor the spelling, both of which are representatives of a culture that has long since lost it’s power and has already been replaced. Problem is, this is too stodgy and tasteful to make the cut. It must be odd for Perry to realize that in less than two years her place as leading female provocateur has been usurped two or three times over. Melting popsicles isn’t going to cut it anymore. As for Snoop, his investment in ultimate cool is no longer paying dividends, and he sounds as if he knows it.
Glee Cast
“Jessie’s Girl”, #23
“One”, #60
“The Boy Is Mine”, #76
“Lady Is A Tramp”, #81
“Rose’s Turn”, #93
The closer the Glee Cast gets to contemporary music, I thought, the better they should sound. Having grown up with it, they’re bound to have a better idea of how it should be sung. And sure enough, “Jessie’s Girl” and “The Boy Is Mine” both sound like the vocalists actually know what their singing about, while “Lady Is a Tramp” is as horrible as you might imagine. “One” doesn’t work, but more because of the lame arrangement than the singing (it’s ridiculous to complain about oversinging on a U2 song; that’s what they’re for). Broadway, however, will always win out with these guys; it’s what they’re trained for, and “Rose’s Turn” is easily the best of this week’s batch. Not that that’s saying much.
Charice featuring Iyaz—”Pyramid”
#56
I could say that this is a major step up from Charice’s first single, but since “Note To God” was the worst record of last year not made by the Glee Cast, anything would be an improvement. Even generic pap like this.
Lil Wayne—”I’m Single”
#82
Since he’s currently in prison, it makes sense that Lil Wayne’s best single since “A Milli” should be layered with ever deeper levels of guilt and remorse, even if a weapons rap isn’t quite as guilt inducing as the infidelity documented here. The way Wayne twists the usual rap pornography, and even his now patented giggle, into something regretful and forlorn is beyond anything he’s done before, and I can’t think of a single record of his in which the emotions are so basic and so bare. Just like T.I., facing a year in the slammer seems to have focused Lil Wayne in ways he hadn’t anticipated. Unlike T.I., Wayne is a genius, and he goes far beyond T.I.’s bragging about how strong he’ll be when his time in jail is over. Wayne may be stronger when he gets out, as well, but he may also be someone totally different. I just hope he doesn’t get religion.
Enrique Iglesias featuring Pitbull—”I Like It”
#89
Another former superstar enlists the help of a hotter, more contemporary talent to boost his career, and ends up in support of his supposed guest. Pitbull is on a roll right now, and this has it’s moments, but just like Usher’s “OMG”, shaping a guest’s trademark sound to the star’s requirements results in something bloated and off-kilter. A vast improvement over “Do You Know? (The Ping Pong Song)”, but what wouldn’t be?
Justin Bieber—”Somebody To Love”
#98
For what it’s worth, this is Bieber’s best record. Which is only to say that it’s passable. Now he’s sixteen, Bieber’s Chris Brown imitation has a little more heft to it, but it’s still an imitation.