The Illiterate

Kanye West featuring Dwele—”Power”
#22
Listening to West in comparison to most other rap artists is something like listening to Ray Charles in comparison to most other R&B artists of the ’50s; his sophistication, both musically and lyrically, his intelligence, his sensibility, are so far above his peers that essentially there is no comparison, he functions in a universe all his own. Which doesn’t mean that everything he touches is golden. “Power” is as lyrically ambiguous as you might expect: he loves power, he hates power, it elevates him, it destroys him, it makes him love his life, it makes him want to kill himself, etc.—he’s obviously been thinking about the issue, hard. But all that doubt makes the record itself sound confused, and musically it’s a move backward. I don’t blame him for stepping away from the despair he plumbed on 808s and Heartbreak and his subsequent public implosion, but I didn’t expect him to go all the way back to College Dropout. That reliance on music he knows by heart is the surest sign of how uncertain he is. Journeyman work, but hardly groundbreaking.

Christina Perri—”Jar of Hearts”
#63
We have So You Think You Can Dance to thank for this sentimental grab bag making the Hot 100, though how anyone could dance to such meandering nonsense is beyond me. Perri starts off sounding like Colbie Caillat, ends up like she’s on Broadway, and tries on a half dozen other vocal styles, including Glee, in between. Unfortunately, all the stylistic confusion only puts a greater emphasis on her lyrics: “You’re gonna catch a cold/From the ice inside your soul”. Yeah, yeah. Pass me the tissues.

Flo Rida featuring David Guetta—”Club Can’t Handle Me”
#65
Whatever else you might say about him, there’s no denying that Flo Rida is a master of the hook. Anybody who can make David Guetta sound bearable must be doing something right. But hook is all this is, and even compared to Flo Rida’s other singles it’s so brainless it defies any attempt at actual concentration (I imagine it’s a different story on the dance floor, though). Worst of all, those anonymous background vocals remind me of something you might hear on Glee, and it wouldn’t surprise me if this showed up on an episode next season. If that’s not an ominous portent for the future of pop, I don’t know what is.

Lil Jon featuring LMFAO—”Outta Your Mind”
#84
This is more like it. LMFAO are insignificant enough that they don’t get in the way of Lil Jon’s crunk barrage (and even provide a not bad hockey pun, the second this week—there’s one on “Power”, too), and without having to worry about stupid concepts like melody and musicality, he’s free to be his crazy drunk self. Actual title (based on lyrical repetition): “I Don’t Give a Fuck”.

Chris Brown featuring Tyga & Kevin McCall—”Deuces”
#87
Brown is either intent on destroying his career or he’s the dumbest guy in pop music. It’s one thing to put out yet another track about what a bitch your ex is, another to add to your wrongs by featuring 1) a bad Drake impersonation (is it too soon to ask for a ban on raps that start “Uh…”?), and 2) a guy who makes dumb oral sex jokes and tasteless references to Ike and Tina Turner. This is technically a mixtape cut, so I suppose Brown can always backtrack and say he didn’t really mean it, but since he made a video to go with the damn thing, I can’t imagine anyone will be convinced. He’ll always have his apologists, but his career is essentially over. Or if it isn’t it should be.

WE the Kings featuring Demi Lovato—”We’ll Be A Dream”
#95
You go right ahead. I’ll be asleep.

Josh Turner—”All Over Me”
#97
As funky as country gets—the New Orleans breakdown piano on the intro is great—but lyrically it’s just another making love out in the sticks song, no better or worse than dozens of others. And country, needless to say, never gets all that funky.

Enrique Iglesias featuring Juan Luis Guerra—”Cuando Me Enamoro”
#99
I might feel different if I could understand the Spanish, but Iglesias sounds a lot less smarmy in this context than when he sings in English. Once again, though, he comes across as less talented than his guest, and though this is pleasant, with a nice groove and interesting Beatlesish touches, it’s nothing special.

3OH!3—”I Can Do Anything”
#100
This will probably work great live, with thousand of drunken beach partiers chanting along, but on record it’s sluggish and plodding, especially for what might be called a statement of purpose. That’s what they get for thinking.