Owl City & Carly Ray Jepsen—“Good Time”
#18
Adam Young, better known as Owl City, should not try to be David Guetta (especially if he’s going to sing), and Carly Rae Jepsen, who, despite “Call Me Maybe”, still needs to establish herself as a career artist, shouldn’t be trying to help him. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a record that sounded like such an obvious cash-in on the part of everyone involved. From Young I don’t expect anything better, but “Call Me Maybe” is going to be in the top ten for the rest of the summer, and it’s way too soon to indulge in such an obvious ploy to keep Jepsen in the public eye. I also hear she’s working with Ryan Tedder. In a recent article in Billboard, Jepsen’s manager, Scooter Braun, was quoted as telling her that her life wasn’t going to be much fun for awhile. Doesn’t look like it’s going to be much fun for her audience, either.
Maroon 5—“Wipe Your Eyes”
#80
Despite, or perhaps because of his second career as judge/mentor on The Voice, Adam Levine has become the most irritating, if not the worst singer of our time. Here, with the assistance of producer J.R. Rotem, he emphasizes this fact by singing, via sample, with one of the best vocalists in the world, Mariam Doumbia of the Malian duo Amadou & Mariam. Rotem and Levine compound the mistake by using one of the duo’s greatest songs, the ethereal and mysterious “Sabali” (co-written and produced by Damon Albarn of Blur and Gorillaz; it may be the best piece of music he’s ever been connected with). The result is almost sad. Levine is so outclassed he doesn’t even try; his voice is hoarse and he sounds exhausted and depressed. If, by some chance, this results in “Sabali” getting the attention it deserves, then I guess this record’s existence will be good for something. But otherwise it’s not much more than a sour joke, one that even I can’t bring myself to laugh at. (Note: At least according to the Billboard listing, Doumbia, her writing partner Marc Antoine Moreau, and Albarn aren’t given a songwriting credit for this record; so maybe Levine’s vocal comeuppance is exactly what he deserves.)
Nero—“Promises”
#81
More pop than Skrillex (who has done a remix), but still identifiably dubstep (whatever that means by now), this is notable only for the fact that it’s a real song, and not just a beat with some vocals thrown on top of it. They may even have written the song before they came up with the beat, but judging by the way it stops and starts and stalls as it stumbles along, I assume not. It’s not a very good song, and if it wasn’t for the music (and the record’s placement in a TV commercial) no one in the U.S. would have noticed it. It did debut at number one in England, but it was a slow week.
Wale featuring Rick Ross, Meek Mill & T-Pain—“Bag of Money”
#93
What a generous guy Rick Ross is. Here, after giving Wale a brief guest spot on one of his many tracks, Ross turns around and allows Wale to release it under his own name, letting a little of that Rozay magic rub off on him as he struggles to establish a career (based on his rap here, he needs all the help he can get). Mind you, Ross knew this wasn’t a great track, and that it wouldn’t be a huge hit, even with T-Pain autotuning (or T-Paining I guess it’s now called—not to be confused with trepanning though the effect is often the same) in the background. Generosity has it’s limits.
Linkin Park—“Lost In the Echo”
#95
For Linkin Park, not bad. The lyrics lack their usual vague generalization and overbearing pretentiousness, and the music continues to modernize their sound without turning it into novelty dubstep. Not great, of course, but at least it isn’t laughable.
BTR—“Windows Down”
#97
Nickelodeon has tried every way to make Big Time Rush into real stars rather than just tween faves. They’ve given them top production and decent songs, got Snoop Dogg to do a guest spot, dressed them up in suits like Il Divo, everything. Here, they get modernized, their name shortened to BTR (already the name of one of their albums), and pointed roughly toward the same musical territory as The Wanted and One Direction. It doesn’t work, largely because the song is too busy and complicated (is anything on the radio simpler than the stuff The Wanted sing? They make nursery rhymes sound baroque), but also because, as singers, the members of BTR are undistinguished. You can’t create pop stars out of nothing, after all, or at least nothing but looks.
Zac Brown Band—“The Wind”
#99
This is better than most of Zac Brown’s stuff not only because it’s fast, but because it’s so loose. He lets the band show off in the best possible way, and the record not only zooms but swings (maybe Brown’s been listening to some Kentucky Colonels in between the Jimmy Buffett and James Taylor). And, for the first time I’ve heard, Brown sings like himself instead of one of his heroes. Turns out he doesn’t have much vocal personality of his own, which explains a lot.
Glee Cast
“We Are Young”, #12
“Survivor/I Will Survive”, #51
“Man In the Mirror”, #76
“ABC”, #88
“Red Solo Cup”, #92
T-Pain featuring Lil Wayne—”Bang Bang Pow Pow”
#48
After the failure of two strong singles a year or so ago, it appears T-Pain has decided to go the more obvious route to revive his career: bigtime guests, obvious samples and/or beats, an avoidance of any subtlety or musical games. So we get straightforward gangsta-party music, with lots of sex, lame raps, gunshots, the works (including Lil Wayne, whose rap I can’t recall at the moment). Because it’s T-Pain, he doesn’t sink a low as others might, but it seems damn low for him. I wonder what happened to the album those earlier singles were from. There’s no sign of them on Revolver, not even the deluxe version.
fun. featuring Janelle Monae—”We Are Young”
#53
A problematic generational anthem. The message goes something like this: “The parties over. Sorry I hurt you. I’ll help you home and we’ll get some sleep and tomorrow we’ll change the world.” Fair enough, but I worry whether the scar he gave his ex is metaphorical or actual. Janelle Monae’s presence is negligible, which is just as well in this case. The melody has a certain lift, but the arrangement is too sparse and the overall effect is hollow. I’ll blame that on the band, not on their generation.
Jake Owen—”Alone With You”
#90
I like the feel of this, and Owen sings it well, but it doesn’t get anywhere near as down in the dumps as it should, and Owen doesn’t seem to be putting up much of a fight against this particular femme fatale. She’s got him whipped, and he sounds too weak to even think about resisting. At the same time, he doesn’t sound like he’s all that turned on by her, either, and if she can’t manage that, what possible power could she have over him? Little details like that are what makes songs come alive, and this doesn’t have them.
Keith Urban—”You Gonna Fly”
#91
I’m beginning to think the only difference between Urban and Rascal Flatts is that there’s only one of him. His sound is a little rougher, to be sure, a little more rock and roll, but that’s like saying that shag is a little rougher than fleece. It’s still designed to be warm and cozy and nothing else.
Kelly Clarkson—”I’ll Be Home for Christmas”
#93
It’s been almost a decade since Clarkson won the first season of American Idol, and you would think she’d have shaken the dust off her heels by now, but every once in a while she still sounds like she’s a contestant. This is overdramatized, oversung, and like too many American Idol competitors, Clarkson seems to have no idea what the song is about. She also throws in a change in the lyric, intentional or not I don’t know, that strips away any sense the song might still have made, even with her singing it. Don’t even get me started on the trumpet solo. A mistake in just about every way.
Waka Flocka Flame featuring Drake—”Round of Applause”
#97
This opens with a loud belch. I find it impossible to listen afterwards. Even among rappers (or rap yellers, in this case) there should be such a thing as dignity. Maybe more so.
Edens Edge—”Amen”
#99
Despite the name of the group and the title of the song, this is not Contemporary Christian Country, or Christian anything aside from the way it uses common pentacostal phrases as a lame joke in the chorus. In the who’ll-be-the-next-Lady-Antebellum sweepstakes (formerly the who’ll-be-the-next-Sugarland sweepstakes), these folks are dead last, with a sound designed to be so soft and sweet and nonthreatening it barely exists. Somehow that makes their use of religious terms even more offensive.
B.o.B. featuring Lil Wayne—”Strange Clouds”
#7
B.o.B. has been putting so much energy into the pop side of his career that I’d swear this is the first time I’ve heard him rap. That can’t be true, but that’s the way it feels. He isn’t bad—good flow, some nice twists and turns both in the rhythm and the words—though more derivative of T.I. than I’d expect him to be. Wayne, meanwhile, sounds more alive all the time. His rap feels like it came off the top of his head for once, and while it isn’t brilliant, he seems to be regathering his strengths. Not a moment too soon, either.
Bruno Mars—”It Will Rain”
#28
Somewhere under the overkill of fuzzy synths and staggered beats you’ll find a very good song with sharp lyrics and a distinct Motown feel. I’d love to hear a slightly more uptempo, sparsely arranged version. In the meantime, we’ll just need to listen past an arrangement dictated more by it’s place on the latest Twilight soundtrack than the song itself.
Nickelback—”When We Stand Together”
#48
Of course it’s awful, it’s Nickelback. But consider this for a moment: these guys are so slow at what they do—their new album will be only their third since 2003—that this song must have been written long before the Occupy protests or maybe even the Arab Spring. Yet here it is, right on time. Putting its laughable aesthetics aside, it’s exactly what it should be for this moment in time. If these lumbering Canadians could feel this coming, possibly months ago, and sympathize, it may be a lot bigger than anybody thinks. A hell of a lot bigger.
T-Pain featuring Wiz Khalifa and Lily Allen—”5 O’Clock”
#62
Adding soul raps to a Lily Allen track is a brilliant idea, but this goes on too long, and except for the organ that weaves it’s way through the track like T-Pain’s conscience, doesn’t add much. It also, of course, places the emphasis of the song on Allen’s physical, rather than emotional needs, and turns her into a nagging, if sexy, bitch. I’m not saying it does total disservice to Allen’s song, but it puts the weight on the least interesting aspect. And Wiz Khalifa only makes it worse.
Glee Cast—”Somewhere”
#75
Lloyd featuring Andre 3000 & Lil Wayne—”Dedication To My Ex (Miss That)”
#81
I wish this wasn’t such an obvious take off from Cee Lo’s “Fuck You”, not just in terms of lyrical content but in sound, as well. It’s very good, and Andre 3000 is great, but the imitative quality and the shallowness of it can’t be avoided. “Fuck You” was great because Bruno Mars and Cee Lo live and breath retro soul; Lloyd is just following in their footsteps, not forging a path of his own. That may be his whole problem: as much as I’ve enjoyed his music, I still have no idea who Lloyd is.
Jason DeRulo—”Fight For You”
#83
I thought retro-sampling had hit bottom with Gym Class Heroes’ borrowings from Supertramp, but it’s impossible to underestimate the crassness of pop culture. Just when I thought DeRulo might be worth listening to, he comes up with this. I realize that sampling the African chants from “Wanna Be Starting Something” is cliche, but Toto is not an adequate replacement. Not at all. What could possibly be next and/or worse? Pablo Cruise?
Blink 182—”After Midnight”
#88
These guys have matured enough that they don’t ruin their mediocre song with meaningless histrionics, and Travis Barker is a damn good drummer. It’s still a mediocre song, though, sung by very mediocre singers.
Luke Bryan—”I Don’t Want This Night to End”
#90
I really enjoy the way the melody of this flows and changes pace as it goes along, creating a romantic atmosphere all on its own. Which is good, because the arrangement, the vocals, and the lyrics do nothing to add to the feeling.
Zac Brown Band—”Keep Me In Mind”
#99
Brown is a one-man 70′s retro movement. So far he’s focused on the laid back sound of Jimmy Buffet and the somnambulist crooning of James Taylor, but here he ups the tempo and the tension by recreating the muzak-americana of the pre-Michael McDonald Doobie Brothers. All he has to do now is tour with Fleet Foxes and take over the world by putting it to sleep.
China Anne McClain—”Calling All the Monsters”
#100
Leave it to Disney to turn Britney’s Spear’s current sound into family-safe Halloween music. They do it very well, too. This is brighter and snappier than Spear’s has been in a while, and though the voices are young, this is never corny or cheesy. It’s a good, catchy, electro-influenced dance track. Not to mention that it cuts Lady Gaga off at the pass, keeping her from releasing a seasonal record along the same lines.
Lil Wayne
“Mirror” (featuring Bruno Mars), #16
“Blunt Blowin’”, #33
“MegaMan”, #50
“It’s Good” (featuring Drake & Jadakiss), #79
“How To Hate” (featuring T-Pain), #84
“Nightmares of the Bottom”, #90
“President Carter”, #94
“So Special” (featuring John Legend), #95
A mixture of the competent and the truly terrible (“Mirror” may be the most relentlessly self-pitying piece of gunk I have ever heard), the bright spots on these tracks are so few and far between that they feel like Wayne guest spots on his own album. The problem is not, as some have suggested, that Wayne isn’t trying. He obviously is, as the forced word play and over-stressed puns attest. The problem is that, in reaction to his jail stint, he seems to have changed his working methods, writing his raps instead of working ideas over in his head and spitting them out for the first time in front of a microphone. Putting ideas on paper, as any writer will tell you, allows for all sorts of self-doubt and second guessing, and may result in something being worked over until all signs of life have been drained out of it. The freedom and of-the-moment brilliance of Wayne’s raps has disappeared and been replaced by what I’m sure he considers meaningful and carefully considered but lifeless verbiage. Perhaps he’ll work it out, or maybe his inspiration is truly gone, drained by his pre-prison burst of creativity (there were signs of that even before he was sentenced) or killed by his time in jail. He’ll undoubtedly get a second wind, and maybe the genius will return combined with a growing maturity. But that’s going to take time, and there’s no sign that Wayne is doing anything to make that happen. His infinite sense of confidence may be his greatest weakness right now. I expect to hear great things from him in the future, but I don’t expect them anytime soon.
Beyonce—”Love On Top”
#20
The praise for 4 has been so universal I feel like a curmudgeon for not being more impressed by what I’ve heard, but I’m not. This is one of the better cuts, establishing an excellent late-80s soul groove (with synths that sound like they came off a Wings record), and then building into a joyful chorus that becomes ever more ecstatic through a series of ascending key changes. It’s masterful in almost every way, but somehow, for me at least, it lacks something. My problem is Beyonce’s voice, which is technically perfect but has always struck me as sharp and metallic and too obvious in it’s effects. Listening to her is somewhat like watching Jodie Foster or Meryl Streep act: I’m impressed by the skill and technique, but the way they use them is too transparent—it’s a great performance, and I admire the intelligence behind it, but I never forget for a moment that it is a performance. I appreciate a brilliant facade as much as the next person, but people talk about Beyonce as if she were giving us more than that, and from my perspective she rarely does. There’s no doubt that 4 is a step up from the misguided Sasha Fierce, so much so that people are overrating it—or maybe it’s why I’m underrating it; being better than Sasha Fierce doesn’t seem like much of an accomplishment to me.
David Guetta
“Turn Me On” (featuring Nicki Minaj), #37
“Without You” (featuring Usher), #39
“I just want you to father my young” is a great line, but it’s the only great line Minaj is allowed on “Turn Me On”, which sounds as if it might have been written for Rihanna instead. Meanwhile, “Without You” is an OK song with an oddly happy arrangement on the chorus, which also features one of Usher’s best-ever vocal performances. And so goes the hit-and-miss career of David Guetta, superstar DJ and all-around hack.
Chris Brown featuring Benny Benassi—”Beautiful People”
#43
The music is derivative but great, the lyrics derivative and awful, with Chris Brown lying through his teeth every beat of the way. Brown gets points for being the hip-hop performer who has been most willing to jump with both feet into the Euro-disco whirlpool, but he has done so in service of a personality that is so shallow and hypocritical that he makes world peace and the universality of beauty sound unclean. And when I say hypocritical, I’m not talking about Rihanna—it’s right there in the music and in his voice, in every beat and every breath. This guy cares about nothing but himself, and he’s willing to say or do anything to make you care about him too.
Lady Antebellum—”Dancin’ Away With My Heart”
#50
Another perfectly crafted, mediocre celebration of lost love, which once again focuses nostalgically on the singers’ teen years. Please don’t tell me it’s a concept album.
Young the Giant—”My Body”
#65
Further proof of the power of television, as if anybody needed it. Get a featured spot on the VMAs and you’re guaranteed to make the bottom half of the Hot 100 for a week or two. But even TV couldn’t turn this lame pastiche of Muse and The Killers into a real hit. For that you need something else: talent, novelty, tons of promotion money, anything.
LMFAO—”Sexy and I Know It”
#76
The obvious reference point is Right Said Fred, but I hear some Weird Al in here as well, which is welcome. Now that these guys have finally outed themselves as total comedians (and with a flair for electro at that), maybe some people will realize that their hedonistic shoutouts are at least partly satire and stop accusing them of corrupting our youth. Our youth are already corrupt, LMFAO are just making fun of them for profit. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. And don’t think the youth don’t get the joke; why do you think they’re buying the records?
Flo Rida—”Good Feeling”
#82
The Etta James hook is great, as is the overall sound, but that’s all there is: Rida has nothing to say even if you could understand him, and the hook is repeated so often you get sick of it (you might hold out a bit longer on the dance floor, though). A nice idea, but…
Demi Lovato—”Skyscraper”
#10
Lovato has one great and dangerous gift: a voice that can make even the most sentimental, over-reaching metaphors sound like felt emotion. It’s not something that can be learned—it either comes naturally or it doesn’t—but it can be developed, which is where the danger lies. Put too much emphasis on that quality, rely on it too much, and Lovato could end up the Connie Francis of her era, pumping out one godawful piece of dreck after another. So it’s good to see that she’s moving away from the affectations that filled her first few singles. This may be hard to believe if you’re not familiar with her earlier material, but trust me, compared to “Don’t Forget” this is a model of vocal restraint. “Skyscraper” doesn’t have much of a melody, and I have my doubts about the extended metaphor, if only because it conjures up images of 9/11, but it’s still a good record.
T-Pain featuring Joey Galaxy—”Booty Wurk (One Cheek At a Time)”
#44
Forget about The Lonely Island, T-Pain is the best musical comedian around, and he’s even funnier when people, most famously Jay-Z, don’t get the joke. This is one of his best, a ridiculous grind that reminds me of Bo Diddley in it’s refusal to take itself seriously even while being striking musically. As always, the joke revolves around sex, and I wish the guy would go someplace besides strip clubs for his inspiration, but this is great all the same.
Blake Shelton—”God Gave Me You”
#65
This is Shelton at his worst, a shovelful of sentimental horseshit that may or may not have been released to capitalize on his recent marriage to Miranda Lambert. Lambert, meanwhile, has two new singles out, one with Pistol Annies and the other solo. The first is about women who prey on rich, gullible men; the second dumping the excess baggage of a failed relationship. If I were Shelton, I’d consider myself on notice. All the lovey-dovey glop in the world won’t make any difference if he screws up.
Colbie Caillat—”What If”
#77
Caillat is starting to show off. Her songs are getting longer and more complicated, while the sentiments remain as simple, if not simpler, as before. She’s also trying to stretch herself musically, which only takes her, unsurprisingly, deeper into Fleetwood Mac territory. This even ends with a Lindsey Buckingham-style guitar solo. Wake me up when she makes her Tusk.
Blink-182—”Up All Night”
#85
Not as horrible as you might expect, but nothing special, either, and you can still hear the elements that would make this band insufferable if they were emphasized. Maybe age has taught them something, though they seem to deny it (aging, that is; they’ve always thought they were geniuses).
Keith Urban—”Long Hot Summer”
#89
Urban is capable of making decent music, but this isn’t it. The song jumps around all over the place, its only reason for existing to show off as many sides of Urban’s talent as possible. Not that there are all that many.
Maroon 5 featuring Christina Aguilera—”Moves Like Jagger”, #8
Javier Colon—”Fix You”, #52
Dia Frampton, “Losing My Religion”, #54
Vicci Martinez—”Dog Days Are Over”, #68
Xenia—”The Man Who Can’t Be Moved”, #92
Pitbull featuring T-Pain & Sean Paul—”Shake Senora”
#69
This record doesn’t sound like a good fit for anyone involved—too brazen and obvious for T-Pain, but, if anything, too subtle for Pitbull, who’s better at leering and lustful growling than the lightness of touch that would be required to make this work. As for Sean Paul, only his biggest fans would notice that he’s here. It doesn’t even work as parody. All they’ve done is overemphasize what the song is already about, and not in a way that points out anything interesting. I do like Pitbull comparing booty, which reminds me of “My Gal Is Red Hot”, but the rest is a disaster.
Selena Gomez & the Scene—”Love You Like a Love Song”
#72
One of the things I love about the production team Rockmafia is their belief in traditional pop form and structure. They’re well aware of the possibilities of emotional tension and release inherent in verse-chorus-verse form, and they do their best to take advantage of it while keeping the music itself as simple and catchy as possible. Sometimes the results sound too simple and automatic, as they do on the chorus here. But it also helps them to create classic pop moments like the first verse, as perfect a melding of music, mood, lyric, and performance as you’ll ever hear. If the rest of the song came close to it, this would be a great record. As it is, it’s only a very good one. Not that that isn’t achievement enough.
Bella Thorne & Zendaya—”Watch Me”
#95
What’s most fascinating about this Disney-pop variation on Ke$ha is how well it works. It isn’t as brash as Ke$ha—the music is more bass heavy, and of course the “sleazy” is removed—but otherwise it would be difficult to tell the two apart. It isn’t that Ke$ha’s music is easy to imitate, but that it’s tapped into a generation’s universal mood of directionless, hyped-up energy and restlessness that, oddly enough, Disney has helped to promote and capitalize on, and maybe even helped to create. The Disney tweens of five years ago are the Ke$ha, Katy Perry, and GaGa and Glee fans of today, and it’s a sign of Disney’s marketing savvy that they’re trying to keep up with them. I don’t think they are, quite, since it’s all out of their control now, but this is a good record nonetheless, and they deserve credit for trying.
Train—”Save Me, San Francisco”
#98
The Loggins and Messina of their era, and if they’re not as irritating as, say, Rascal Flatts, it’s only because their tunes are catchier and clever self-deprecation is a part of their act. They’re just as clueless, though. They can’t even get a song about their hometown right. Except for a few obvious lyrical references, nothing about this record sounds like San Francisco. What it sounds like, instead, is an above average Rolling Stones cover band, and considering the Stone’s history in the bay area, is that really the vibe you want to go for?
Brantley Gilbert—”Country Must Be Country Wide”
#100
True enough, but does that mean it has to be heavy metal, too?
Bad Meets Evil featuring Bruno Mars—”Lighters”
#16
Aside from the profit motive, I can’t think of a single reason for this record to exist. Mars repeats himself, only this time demanding acclaim for doing so; Eminem reminds haters for the umpteenth time that their hatred only makes him stronger; and Royce Da 5’9″ complains about T-Pain not letting Royce have a verse on one of his records. Based on this, T-Pain was right.
Javier Colon—”Angel”, #64
Vicci Martinez—”Jolene”, #76
Casey Weston—”Black Horse and the Cherry Tree”, #90
Xenia—”Price Tag”, #99
Shania Twain—”Today Is Your Day”
#66
After all these years Twain pins her come-back on a Sara Bareilles imitation, only without the sarcasm and cynicism that makes Bareilles interesting. Just to prove she’s still country she throws in some token banjo on the second verse and then buries it in the mix. She seems to believe that she’s still a star and can pick up where she left off without much effort, the same mistake Usher made a few years ago. Whether she has the talent or the energy to realign her career the way he did is another question.
Pitbull featuring Marc Anthony—Rain Over Me”
#75
Not good. Not terrible, but not good. Not a surprise, either. When your career is based on club-bangers, any album more then three singles deep is considered a masterpiece, if not a miracle. Pitbull has already made his quota.
Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine—”Stereo Hearts”
#85
Travie McCoy is a major irritant, and here he brings Levine, who is only a minor irritant, down to his level. Levine takes himself too seriously, and McCoy doesn’t take himself seriously at all, but they’re both egotists who think they’re geniuses and who lack the ability to see how average their talents really are. McCoy is more irritating because he can’t shut up, but Levine makes the major mistake here of trying to be funny (at least I think that’s what he’s doing), which only demonstrates what a stick he really is. Weirdest moment: the middle eight that rips off Vampire Weekend. This is either a joke that doesn’t work or an attempt to establish seriousness in a way that makes no sense at all. Either way, it’s cringeworthy.
Joe Jonas—”See No More”
#92
Jonas plays his dance-pop the same way he and his brothers play their rock and roll, with a misplaced, earnest intensity that turns everything he/they do into numbing bombast. Pop actually eases the pressure on Jonas a bit, but the song is mediocre, and Jonas has no idea how to make anything better of it. He has now failed at rock and roll, acting, and pop. Isn’t it time to quit?
Billy Currington—”Love Done Gone”
#98
Currington has a decent voice, but you’d need to listen to this garish, Barry-Manilow-goes-country monstrosity more than once to realize it. I did, but I’m a professional. I doubt most people could get through it even once.
Glee Cast
“Landslide”, #23
“Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)”, #57
“Animal”, #62
“Kiss”, #83
Eli Young Band—”Crazy Girl”
#59
I like the sound of this, especially the steel guitars, which go for timbre and intensity rather than the usual sentimental effects, but it isn’t much of a song, and Young isn’t much of a singer. There are times when this reminds me of a male Taylor Swift, oddly enough, but that’s more a matter of melodic construction rather than theme or approach. I’ll be interested in whatever they do next, but I don’t hold out much hope.
Wiz Khalifa—”The Race”
#66
The background here is astounding, with a late 80s/early 90s synth-pop influence like nothiing I’ve heard on a rap record before, and the groove it establishes goes a lot further in justifying this record’s length than anything Khalifa has to say. Though the music suggests emotional depth, the lyrics are pretty much the same as any other rapper you’ll hear. Maybe he’s just mellowinig out a little.
Lupe Fiasco featuring MDMA—”Beautiful Lasers (2 Ways)”
#70
Fiasco has something to say, his anger, intensity, and intelligence shine through, and I’m glad, after all his wrangling with Atlantic Records, that he finally got his album out. Unfortunately, none of that changes the fact that record is both overwrought and derivitave. If he’s going to employ vocal effects, he should find ones that don’t make him sound so much like Kanye West, and the metal guitar solo at the end is just dumb. Which doesn’t mean I won’t give the album a good, hard listen.
Seether—”Country Song”
#74
Since these guys apparently think lyrical vagueness is a sign of intelligence, I can’t quite pin down what this record is about. The title and the country sound are, I assume, ironic, and there are lyrical hints that suggest this is intended as an attack on tea partiers and such. To identify such things with country music as a whole, however, is stupid in all sorts of ways (just ask lifelong democrat Toby Keith), and the fact that the country influences end up making Seether sound smarter than they really are may be the biggest irony of all.
Snoop Dogg featuring T-Pain—”Boom”
#76
Back to bragging about his dope and his women, just like he was born to do. He doesn’t do it with quite the flair he used to, though, and T-Pain, who seems to have lost his talent for hooks, doesn’t help at all.
Eric Church—”Homeboy”
#86
So much for the easygoing dope smoker. Easing back with a joint on a Friday night is one thing, but actual teenage rebellion? Church isn’t putting up with any of that. He isn’t above the crassest emotional manipulation, either, as he assures his little brother that their parents are on their deathbed because their hair is turning grey (why, they may be almost fifty!). The mainstream country audience will no doubt be reassured by this self-superior rant, even if the drums are too loud.
Avril Lavigne—”Wish You Were Here”
#99
If Lavigne has to make ballads, this is probabaly the way she should do it. At least it’s better than that soundtrack crap she was putting out a couple of years ago. Not that much better, though.
Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull—”On the Floor”
#9
Anyone with any sense knows why this debuted in the top ten. Lopez’s presence on American Idol may, in fact, be the only reason this record was made at all. Some people have already mentioned the irony involved in Lopez coaching singers when she doesn’t have much of a voice herself, but weak vocals are the least of this record’s problems, which is such a blatant grab-bag of current dance floor trends that even Pitbull sounds a little unsure of it. You can’t say Lopez and her producer, RedOne, aren’t up-to-date, but ripping off a track as recognizable as “Stereo Love” when it’s just peaked on the charts is about as daring as this record gets. For anyone who may have wondered whether it was RedOne or Lady Gaga who provided the creative firepower on The Fame, this should answer your questions quite nicely.
Glee Cast
“Don’t You Want Me”, #49
“Blame It (On the Alcohol)”, #55
“Tik Tok”, #61
Back to normal.
Wiz Khalifa featuring Too $hort—”On My Level”
#52
Not a terrible track, but the presence of Too $hort makes me question Khalifa’s judgement. Too $hort is now too old to indulge in stimulants himself, so instead he talks about getting girls loaded so he can have his way with them. What a guy. Is this why some people are raving about Khalifa? Because he’s bringing back “real”, stupidly sexist hip-hop? As if it ever went away.
Adele
“Someone Like You”, #65
“Set Fire To the Rain”, #88
Adele has a voice—when she isn’t blasting like an air raid siren she manages to be both growly and vulnerable, with a touch of hysteria thrown in for good measure—but these are terrible songs, if they can even be graced with the designation of song at all. They’re set pieces for her voice; the lyrical blather serves as nothing but an indicator of what she’s getting so upset about. She’s young yet, so maybe she’ll learn, and when she gets around to making 35 she may even have something to say. But since her sales are encouraging her in the wrong direction, I don’t hold out much hope.
Big Time Rush featuring Snoop Dogg—”Boyfriend”
#79
Snoop teaming up with this Nickelodeon-sponsored boy band has a lot of people shaking their heads, but other than their choice of words and their preferred stimulants (Big Time Rush are high on life, you see), I don’t see much difference. Both have fairly shallow ideas about love and romance, one the result of inexperience, the other the result of too much experience. Snoop, of course, is super cool while BTR gush, but while BTR sees nothing but the stars in their own eyes, Snoop sees nothing but Gucci bags and the size of her thighs. Since they’re both looking for the wrong things, why shouldn’t they search together?
Mike Posner featuring Lil Wayne—”Bow Chicka Wow Wow”
#82 Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/28/11
DJ Khaled featuring Rick Ross, Plies, Lil Wayne & T-Pain—”Welcome To My Hood”
#90 Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 2/28/11
Kirk Franklin—”I Smile”
#97
I’d never heard of Franklin before this, and since he doesn’t actually sing on this track, I thought he was some sort of Prosperity Gospel preacher. But he has a long history on the gospel circuit and seems to be the real thing, though you’d never know it by listening to this happy jingle for Jesus. Not that it blatantly advertises itself as such: for the most part it’s a positivity anthem with a few religious references thrown in. It’s essentially all chorus, and though it seems friendly enough at first, it gets cloying fast, and then it goes on and on and doesn’t leave you alone, like a cheerful bus stop proselytizer who doesn’t recognize the fine line between being friendly and being an irritant. Franklin actually starts out irritating by dedicating the song to “depression, recession, and unemployment”, no doubt for opening desperate people’s hearts to the message of the church. Which is one of the reasons I, and many others, hate the church to begin with.
DJ Khaled featuring Rick Ross, Plies, Lil Wayne & T-Pain—”Welcome To My Hood”
#102
You don’t tamper with the formula, even if your hooks are getting a little worn and the minor changes you make to the beats don’t fool anybody. This is more of the same, only less; the urgency of Khaled’s first couple of singles is long gone, and now it’s just a bunch of rappers doing the guy a favor. T-Pain’s hook goes nowhere; Rick Ross is slightly above average; Lil Wayne, as usual, gets off the best line (“I talk a lot of shit and I practice what I preach”); and Plies is, much to my surprise, bearable. But what’s the point?
The Avett Brothers—”Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise”
#103
A Grammy approved, elegiac waltz with intensely sincere vocals and lyrics that suggest major trouble but never explain what kind; if this is the best (or only) thing alt-country has to offer, I think I’ll stick to the mainstream.
Mike Posner featuring Lil Wayne—”Bow Chicka Wow Wow”
#107
Posner is a problem. He’s a good producer—this is an interesting mix of hip-hop suggestiveness and rock-based electric-guitar balladry—but what he produces is schmaltz. Even when he’s trying his best to sound like Lil Wayne if Lil Wayne could sing, nothing comes through but the fact that he’s a generally nice guy who’s a complete failure at trying to sound tough. Meanwhile, Lil Wayne talks shit again, and practices what he preaches. As does the guitar solo.
Selena Gomez—”Shake It Up”
#109
Gomez is always better the further away from Disney she gets, and though this theme song for a new series is closer to what she’s done on her own, it’s still a Disney series theme song, which means it’s corny in ways that are definite yet difficult to pin down. Let’s just say that’s it’s totally non-threatening; it doesn’t promise anything but a good time. One that doesn’t involve sex, alcohol, or drugs, that is. It does contain sugar, though—lots and lots of sugar.
