Posts Tagged ‘The Fray’

Hot 100 Roundup—10/29/11

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Snoop Dogg featuring Bruno Mars & Wiz Khalifa—“Young, Wild & Free”
#10

Half good-time dope song, half, thanks to Khalifa, public service message on behalf of marijuana as a mood stabilizer, all charming in its way, but too sleepy and boring in parts. I assume Mars or his pals in The Smeezingtons wrote the hook, though he appears to have buried himself in the mix—a smart move, since Snoop and Khalifa’s rougher, less trained vocals make more sense in this context than Mars’s trademark croon. Hardly a hallmark in any of their careers, but pleasant fluff all the same.

The Fray—“Heartbeat”
#43

It’s a no-brainer that Kings Of Leon would have imitators, but somehow I never expected it to be an already established act. Guess the sloppy vocals and even sloppier ideas seemed like such a perfect fit that The Fray just couldn’t resist. They might have covered their tracks better, though; some of this sounds so much like “Use Somebody” that when it comes up on shuffle I keep thinking it is Kings of Leon. Sometimes I even hit skip before I realize my mistake. Not that I wouldn’t skip it anyway.

Beyonce—“Countdown”
#85

This is as brilliant musically as everyone says it is—even Beyonce’s over-brassiness works in this context—but I’m getting tired of her confusing brand of feminism, which largely consists of the old saw of being a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom. Though she would probably phrase it more along the lines of being a powerful woman in public and a skilled lover in private. Whatever the case, her belief in ultimate sublimation to her man, which goes back to her earliest Destiny’s Child days, is unquestioned. She got out from under her father’s domineering hand in her business life, isn’t it time she got out from under his tired old ideas, as well?

Tyga featuring Drake—“Still Got It”
#89

Though he’s more talented as a vocalist, Tyga strikes me as being a lot like Jamie Foxx: whoever he has guesting on his track, that’s who he sounds like. Drake’s hook is far more interesting than anything Tyga has to say, and the track as a whole is mediocre at best.

Roscoe Dash—“Good Good Night”
#91

Dash is basically a second level version of Soulja Boy—less aggressive, less daring, and far less interesting—but every once in a while he comes up with a good hook, and this is one of them. You’ll forget all about it once it’s over, but at least you’ll enjoy it while it’s on.

Britney Spears—“Criminal”
#92

Though it points in a totally different direction, I enjoy this more than anything Spears has released since “Piece Of Me”. It’s very smart to play down the melodramatic cliché of loving a bad boy with music that sounds not just peaceful, but almost blissful. As “physical” as her love may be (a word that, in this song, covers a lot of emotional ground), it isn’t the rough and tumble that you’d expect, but something more like a day at the spa: both fulfilling and refreshing. Spears may not be the brightest singer in the world, but she does understand sex, which is more than most pop stars can claim.

Katy Perry—“The One That Got Away”
#94

Six singles in, Perry is starting to scrape the ordinary, at least musically. The lyrics, though, are something else. Everyone’s least favorite pop maven presents us with what is essentially an indie-rock romance: they make out to Radiohead and think of themselves as a modern June Carter and Johnny Cash. As it happens, though, she’s the one who’s more forward thinking, which turns her into a pop star while he ends up busking the blues on downtown street corners. Any regrets are nothing more than the usual lip service (Perry is nothing if not a master of formula), but in its way this is more honest than most indie-rock love songs, even if she doesn’t mean a word of it.

Jessie J—“Domino”
#96

A lot of people have been comparing Jessie J to Katy Perry, and not in a good way, but this is the first time the comparison has seemed totally apt. The sound and sensibility is a straight rip-off, but J doesn’t have nearly as much charm as Perry, or as much sense. She doesn’t seem to understand, for example, that being a domino just makes her one of the many women who are lined up to be used by this guy. You have to think about metaphors and similes; you can’t just toss them off because they sound good.

Drake featuring Nicki Minaj—“Make Me Proud”
#97

This isn’t nearly as sexist and condescending as some people have suggested it is, but it is something of a borderline case. The big problem is the title: saying that somebody makes you proud is much more self-directed and self-absorbed than saying that you’re proud of them, which can be a simple compliment. The former suggests that you had something to do with what makes the person so wonderful. But that isn’t the case here. Drake never utters the title line, and instead says “I’m so proud of you”. I’m assuming he changed the title to avoid confusion with The Impressions’ “I’m So Proud” (nobody with any sense dares comparison with Curtis Mayfield). Still, he does go overboard in his praise, to the point where he sounds condescending, and since Minaj is playing it safe—her rap is good but not particularly memorable—he comes off looking something of an ass (what else is new?). I’d be much more forgiving if she had smoked him. But he means well, I’m sure. Also, the music is great, which makes up for a lot.

Evanescence—“Lost In Paradise”
#99

“What You Want” made me hope that Amy Lee was stepping away from the melodramatic bombast that has been her stock in trade from the beginning, but this songs dashes those hopes in grandiose style. It’s all so obvious: from the first notes of the piano you wait for the crash of guitars and orchestra, and though it gets held off longer than usual, it’s exactly like you imagine it, overwrought and dull. And then it goes on for another three minutes.

New this week—12/13/09

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

Glee Cast—”Last Christmas”
#63

Unlike the other twenty (!!!) songs Glee has put on the Hot 100 this year, this one seems perfectly designed for the sort of bland vocal treatment the show specializes in. It is a Christmas song, after all, and considering how much breathy echo was layered onto Wham!’s original version, it was practically a Glee song already. Except for the intro to “Don’t Stop Believin’” (all the way back in the pilot), this is the best thing they’ve done. And I don’t care if I ever hear it again.

Daughtry—”After You”
#66

Blander even than Nickelback, and therefore less offensive. Also less interesting, which is a kind of negative achievement, I suppose. The only positive is that Chris Daughtry still makes me believe he’s singing to his wife. I just hope she doesn’t fall asleep in the middle of it.

Orianthi—”According To You”
#67

Conceptually, the guitar shredding on this Kelly Clarkson knock-off makes sense. The attitude she gets from her boyfriend is probably much like the attitude she gets from guys who don’t believe women can play lead guitar. Musically, though, it’s as empty and meaningless as most shredding for shredding’s sake, and decidedly out of place in a Kelly Clarkson knock-off. It would also help if she could sing anywhere near as well as she can play.

Nick Jonas & the Administration—”Who I Am”
#73

Anybody who calls this a country move has obviously never heard any country. It’s more like a John Mayer record with leaden lyrics and duller chord changes. Minus the bombast provided by his brothers, Jonas sounds overwrought and out of place, as if he had no idea who he was at all.

Timbaland Featuring Justin Timberlake—”Carry Out”
#75

I hate to get all PC all of a sudden, but I can’t think of anything more sexist than comparing a woman to food that, no matter how tasty it may be, is picked up largely because it demands nothing from the man but ready cash and doesn’t require any messy clean up. You know, like a prostitute? Serves them right that the record’s so dull.

Pitbull featuring Akon—”Shut It Down”
#85

Akon is supposed to provide the hook, but all he does is get in Pitbull’s way. Without him this could be one of the club jams of the year. It was nice of Pitbull to give the poor guy a break, I guess, but I look forward to a remix that’s all Pitbull and his harsh minimalist electronics, and no Akon at all.

Phoenix—”1901″
#90

For the life of me I cannot figure out the appeal of these Frenchmen. To me, they’re The Eagles of indie, inspired by of Montreal instead of Graham Parsons. Apparently their Grammy nomination for Best Alternative Album has generated enough buzz to get them into the Hot 100. Which is interesting, since their appearance on Saturday Night Live earlier this year couldn’t do it. Who knew the Grammies had such influence over alternative fans’ buying habits?

The Script—”Breakeven”
#96

Better than The Fray or OneRepublic, if only because they seem less self-involved and overwrought. But then, how good do you have to be to be better than The Fray or OneRepublic?

Toby Keith featuring Dave Koz, Marcus Miller & Arthur Thompson—”Cryin’ For Me (Wayman’s Song)”
#97

Whatever real emotion may be behind this song (the lyrics have their touching moments) is lost in Keith’s apparent ambition to crossover into Lite Jazz territory. Nothing like expanding that radio outreach.

Timbaland featuring Katy Perry—”If We Ever Meet Again”
#99

Timbaland’s M.O. these days appears to be applying his tried and true production techniques to current hit makers in the hope of not only generating hits but revving his own creative juices. So far, it doesn’t seem to be working on either count. Here he sounds almost desperate in his desire to do something new and interesting. The result is a bunch of cliches jammed together, and not very well either.

Brad Paisley—”American Saturday Night”
#100

Though the comparison may sound odd, it seems to me that Paisley is everything that John Mayer is supposed to be. An intelligent, daring, witty, unbelievably talented songwriter and guitarist (will somebody please put him on a stage with Richard Thompson? please?), who is also humble, self-deprecating, devoid of flash, and refuses to play down to his audience intellectually or emotionally. The difference is that, unlike Mayer, Paisley seems to be totally lacking in self-consciousness—he says what he wants to say, plays what he wants to play, and never for a moment worries about what people think of him. Whether or not this brilliant record, which in theme is the exact opposite of the xenophobic, jingoistic rants that have plagued country music for decades, will be a hit is of absolutely no interest to Paisley. It probably will be. He’ll appreciate it, and find it sort of funny in a way, but it won’t affect his music one way or the other. He takes things so easy that even those who admire him don’t seem to realize that he’s probably the greatest country musician of his generation. Here’s hoping he’s the most influential, as well.

New this week—11/22/09

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

Shakira featuring Lil Wayne—”Give It Up To Me”
#58

With Timbaland producing, this starts off sounding like a Nelly Furtado record, but after Lil Wayne’s short, sweet rap, Shakira takes over, and actually manages to reduce both Wayne and Timbaland to the status of sidemen. She’s a force of nature, but with Timbaland repeating his old production tricks in the background, this doesn’t rise anywhere near the giddy heights of “She Wolf”. It’s also depressingly submissive: “…put me in a cage and lock me away and I’ll play the games that you want me to play.” That may be a reference to her record company forcing her to make this after the relative commercial disappointment of “She Wolf”, but that’s not the Shakira anybody wants, and I can’t see this doing any better.

OneRepublic—”Good Life”
#69

Is this what Radiohead would sound like if they were a self-satisfied, self-serious, American pop band? Is that something we even want to think about?

Yo Gotti—”5 Star Chick”
#79

The old-school gangstas’ love of women who have actual jobs—aside from stripping—continues. This one, when she isn’t servicing Gotti sexually or drinking his champagne, is going to real estate school. Or is she a teacher? Or a nurse? Oh, I get it, Gotti’s got a whole harem of women with day jobs. Except he doesn’t, because he says he still has to meet this woman. Or maybe he just means yours. Whatever the case, he certainly covers the theme from all the angles. Gotti having wrapped up this subject (no pun intended), old school gangstas may have to start searching for another type of woman completely. I know, how about ones they legally support? Uh, no, I guess not.

Trey Songz—”Say Aah”
#81

Pleasant enough, but too long, and Trey Songz, for all his obvious skills, always reminds of somebody better. He’s the living definition of a mid-level talent, and this is a mid-level song.

Adam Lambert—”For Your Entertainment”
#84

Straight out of the box, Lambert is easily the oddest of the American Idol alumni to hit the charts, but this record, for all it’s forthright sado-masochistic references, is still pretty tame. It’s like a TV arranger’s idea of the Scissor Sisters, with all the musical brashness smoothed over, and more reminiscent of hair metal than disco. The lyrics are crude, as well, even if they’re intended as a metaphor for Lambert’s coming out after playing nicey-nice on Idol. He sounds like a gigolo for pampered, masochistic housewives.

Anya Marina—”Whatever You Like”
#88

Formula: Sarcastic indie-cover of hip-hop hit, sung in breathy little-girl’s voice, with original gender references retained to achieve maximum irony/kinky suggestiveness. Intended Result: Satiric send-up of rap sexism and self-satisfaction. Actual Result: Pop-porn for pedophiles. Conclusion: Yuck.

Josh Turner—”Why Don’t We Just Dance”
#99

The syrup in Turner’s voice is so thick it almost overwhelms the song, which is clever, charming, just sexy enough, and determinedly lightweight. If this had been released ten years ago it would be just another piece of formulaic country, but coming amidst today’s overwrought barn-burners it’s a pleasant diversion. Turner may not have the easy—sometimes too easy—command of George Strait, but his heart’s in the right place, and he tries harder.

Timbaland featuring The Fray and Esthero—”Undertow”
#100

This is promising for the first two minutes. The song isn’t that strong, but Timbaland’s subdued, pained vocal on the first verse, and the gorgeous warmth of Esthero’s on the second, suggest that maybe it will turn into something worthwhile. In the second half, though, it becomes just another Fray record, albeit one with classier and more restrained production—which only serves to underscore how weak the song is. At least “Apologize”, as awful as it was, had hooks.

New this week

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

Mary J Blige featuring Drake—”The One”
#63

As good as it was to know that Blige had found marital happiness, her odes to her man and their relationship didn’t sell very well, so here she toughens up, brings in a ringer, and delivers a rip off of “A Milli” that, if nowhere as good as the original, is still a lot better than Beyonce’s. Drake, whose part seems to have been stuck in as an afterthought, adds nothing but sales power.

Michael Franti & Spearhead—”Say Hey (I Love You)”
#82

Despite the lyrical references to dancehall and production by reggae legends Sly and Robbie, this sounds more New Orleans than Jamaica to me, not that that ‘s a bad thing. It also sounds more Jack Johnson than Franti, which is. There’s something frustratingly automatic about this record in it’s sunny brightness, something a little too perfect, as if everybody were being careful to only color within the lines.

Demi Lovato—”Catch Me”
#89

Lovato’s vocal affectations—the short sharp breaths at the end of phrases, the cracking teen falsetto that at times makes her sound like a 12-year-old—can be so irritating that it’s easy to forget how well they fit the song’s subject: romantic confusion and barely tempered longing. Needless to say, that irritant also acts as a hook, and Lovato oozes innocent charm even as she’s overtaken by lust (though she would never call it that).  She’s no Taylor Swift, but she’s not quite your run of the mill Disney pop princess, either. Of course, that might just be a part of the Mouse’s marketing plan.

Beastie Boys featuring Nas—”Too Many Rappers”
#93

“Grandpa been rapping since ’83.” They’ve lost a few steps over the years, of course, and the clever rhymes and disses don’t flow as freely as they used to, but the beats still thunder, and they’re still smarter and wiser than most. But aging rappers are no less of a conundrum than aging rock stars, and I’m not sure they should waste their time dissing the Black Eyed Peas, no matter how cleverly they manage it. Once they start yelling at kids to get off their lawn, it’s over.

Zac Brown Band—”Toes”
#95

This is the first Jimmy Buffet rip-off (or homage I guess you could call it) I’ve heard that captures Buffet’s laid-back smarts at their best, catchy tunes, silly rhymes, and all. Unfortunately, the silliest rhyme (“care-o” and “dinero”) draws on a feeling of good ol’ boy privilege in a foreign land that comes across as just short of racism.  Perhaps I’m being too sensitive, but this sense of rural superiority (rural meaning good old American values, of course, whatever they are), even, or especially, when drunk or stoned, is one of the things that’s most irritating about current country music, and this song, despite all its charms, strikes me as stepping over the line.

Jeremih—”Imma Star (Everywhere We Are)”
#96

I’m still not sold on “Birthday Sex” except as camp, but building a cut as artful as this one based on nothing but variations on the hook from Kanye West’s “Flashing Lights” demonstrates real talent on the make. His phrasing and timing are near-perfect, and there are lyrical moments that suggest he may have more brains than “Birthday Sex” let on. But on only his second single he’s already rapping about how famous he is. Not a good sign.

Beyonce—“Sweet Dreams”
#97

Not bad, but underneath the drums and the low warbling synth is one hell of a corny song. Whenever I hear the male backup singers going “Ho!” in the background I have visions of a dream sequence from some big Hollywood musical from the fifties, full of garish Technicolor and energetic dancers seen only in silhouette, a no-expenses-spared mixture of conspicuous class and pure hokum. That’s entertainment, I guess.

Mat Kearney—“Closer To Love”
#100

I usually try to avoid the “Artist 1 + Artist 2 = Artist 3” formulation when I’m reviewing records, but “Closer To Love” is so lacking in any distinguishing characteristics of its own that it’s unavoidable. So, The Fray + Leona Lewis = Mat Kearney. Sometimes pop really is just formula.

New This Week

Sunday, June 21st, 2009

The Black Eyed Peas–”I Gotta Feeling”
#2

For a band that claims to be “so three thousand and eight” this sounds awfully nineteen eight-ohs. Reminds me of Wang Chung somehow, even though it doesn’t sound anything like them. What it does sound like is three or four different hooks searching for a song that ran into each other in a dark dance club hallway and decided to slither out onto the floor together in a minimalist conga line, never noticing how much their styles clashed with each other. The one bright spot is that by declaring this the music of the future, the Peas have guaranteed that it won’t be. That’s a relief, anyway.

King Cudi featuring Kanye West & Common–”Make Her Say”
#51

With luck, and since radio programmers will probably be hesitant to add a song about a real gangbang to their playlists (as opposed to songs about gangbanging), this won’t be a hit. Though it could be. By isolating and highlighting the hook from Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” (and, before now, who even knew it had one?), Cudi creates a light, pleasant groove that sounds almost playful. Until you realize, of course, that this is bukkake rap’s first foray into the Hot 100, and you start to feel more than a little unclean. And for all of Kanye’s bullshit about college and exercising your medulla oblongata, it’s worth pointing out the the medulla is the most primitive part of the human brain, the so-called lizard brain that controls our most instinctive, animalistic actions. You know, like blowjob parties. Ugh.

Jason Aldean–”Big Green Tractor”
#85

There could be others I haven’t heard, but this is probably the worst double entendre ever to appear in a country song. A big tractor, sure, but “green”? What kind of disease does this guy have exactly? Will any known fungicide kill it? Is this something only the little country girls understand?

The Fray–”Never Say Never”
#90

After “Heartless” I was afraid this might be a Romeo Void cover, but thank God they only ruin their own material this time out. This is less pretentious than their previous hits, and the falsetto moves them closer to Maroon 5 territory, but the singer still slurs every word (I have this vision of him keeping a spittoon next to his piano), and the song is as dull as it gets.

George Strait–”Living For the Night”
#92

I enjoyed Strait’s last single, “River of Love”, at first, but the more I heard it the more it reminded me of The Doobie Brothers. This is an even deeper step into ’70s MOR. It’s a good song, and Strait sings it with all the class and technical polish he possesses, but his excessive good taste squeezes out every ounce of honest emotion. High class country muzak, and nothing more.

Matt & Kim–”Daylight”
#95

Courtesy of a Baccardi commercial, the Hot 100 is graced by a song that sounds like something you might have heard on They Might Be Giants’s Dial-A-Song (once just a regular call to Brooklyn, now a podcast). Only the TMBG version would be a minute shorter, have a less fuzzy arrangement, and contain lyrics that were both funny and coherent. And it wouldn’t be a Baccardi commercial.

New This Week

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

As everybody knows, this is American Idol week on the Hot 100. Before last year, this would have meant that whatever lamentable ballad had been foisted on the winner would debut at number one, and that yet another version of the same ballad sung by the runner-up would debut somewhere further down the chart. Last year, however, Idol cut a deal with iTunes that resulted in numerous performances, by the winner and the losers, being made available for a limited time immediately after the finale. Last year, this gave David Cook 11 Hot 100 debuts in one week. This year, with the competition a little closer, winner Kris Allen and runner-up Adam Lambert split the prize, with five debuts for Allen and four for Lambert, and not a single one landing in the top ten.

Rather than bore you and/or drive myself crazy writing separate reviews for each entry, I thought it best to handle them in a bunch, and then get on with the rest of this week’s debuts, of which there are eight, including two from another television/iTunes goldmine, Glee. I should also mention that I didn’t watch American Idol this season, and have heard nothing from these guys until now, so my perspective is fresh, or at least as fresh as someone with my jaundiced viewpoint of Idol to begin with can be.

Kris Allen:
No Boundaries #11
Heartless #16
Ain’t No Sunshine #37
Apologize #66
Falling Slowly #94

Adam Lambert:
Mad World #19
A Change Is Gonna Come #56
No Boundaries #72
One #82

First things first: Adam Lambert was robbed. Kris Allen is a decent singer, but he evinces precious little personality, and, like too many Idol singers, he often seems to be unsure what the songs he performs are about. Hence his version of “Ain’t No Sunshine”, which is OK until he gets to the repeated “I knows”. He treats them as something to be gotten over with, instead of what they are: the emotional center of the song. His one advantage (which also happens to be one of Lambert’s weaknesses), is that he doesn’t oversing. This makes his performances of “Falling Slowly” and “Heartless” more than bearable, even with their weak arrangements. It’s also worth pointing out that though Allen’s version of Heartless is nowhere near as good as the original, it’s miles better than The Fray’s, and proves conclusively that it’s a great song. The idea of it becoming a standard seems far fetched to me, though—the lyrics are too idiosyncratic, tuned to West’s oversized ego and personality. Allen sounds a little silly singing them.

As for Lambert, he has the better voice, the sharper sensibility, and more of that rock and roll attitude. Which means he oversings, overplays his hand at times, picks more pretentious material, and depends too much on his personality to get his songs over. But he can sing, and does a far better job with the awful “No Boundaries” than Allen does. His biggest weakness is a tendency to mistake slurring his words together for being soulful, as if every line were just another opportunity to lay on some melisma. This doesn’t ruin his version of “A Change Is Gonna Come”, but it makes the song mean less than it might, even with the amazing falsetto he puts on at the end.

In defense of both, the Idol producers, as usual, have come up with some of the most deathless arrangements in history (though the Sade-like backing on “Heartless” is nice). Simon Cowell is always accusing singers of sounding Karaoke. Has he listened to the band lately?

Glee Cast—Don’t Stop Believin’
#4

The first forty seconds or so, where Journey meets Steve Reich in a high school choir room, are brilliant. Once the band enters, though, it becomes just another damn cover of that same damn Journey song. Here’s hoping that once the series—I haven’t seen it, but it sounds like High School Musical for fans of Election—goes into regular rotation, the producers will pay more attention to the first forty seconds here than the remaining three minutes. Bad songs brilliantly arranged; that would be a first for television, wouldn’t it?

Linkin Park—New Divide
#6

Oddly enough, Linkin Park’s apocalyptic metaphors and musical bombast make more sense when they’re singing about broken relationships than they do when they’re singing about actual apocalypse. They’re a perfect match for a certain brand of teenage emotional self-seriousness, and I suppose they deserve respect for so effectively pushing those buttons. But facts are facts: these guys haven’t been teenagers for over a decade, their music is boring, and, as in most apocalyptic scenarios, there are some buttons that should never be pushed.

David Cook—Permanent
#24

I have no idea what this song is supposed to be about, and neither does Cook. At least there’s nothing about his singing that suggests he does. Don’t blame him for that, though. Considering the quality of the song, I’ll bet he doesn’t want to know.

Rob Thomas—Her Diamonds
#42

This record revolves around an interesting concept: a guy watching his girl cry and having no idea what to do to help her. Except the focus is all on how that makes Thomas feel, the music bears no relation to the lyrics, and when Thomas sings that everything will be fine if she finds some delight you can’t help but assume he thinks he’s the one to provide it. Then the female background vocals come in, and you realize why the girl is crying: she’s just discovered that the guy she’s living with is actually Carly Simon.

Charice—Note To God
#44

This fifteen year-old definitely has a voice—for sheer volume her final note has to be heard to be believed. But if I wrote a note to God, it would consist of a single, simple message: Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop.

Black Eyed Peas—Imma Be
#50

Maura over at Idolator has predicted that this will be the jam of the summer, but I have my doubts. More likely it will be the point where all the fans who have been enjoying the ride since Elephunk jump off the bus. “Boom Boom Pow” could be thought of as a novelty record, with club shout-outs that anyone could yell along to, but this represents a deeper step into the digital minimalism wilderness, and as amazing as some of it sounds, I have a feeling a lot of people won’t care to follow along (I barely care to follow along myself). This didn’t get the radio build up “Boom Boom Pow” did, so its relatively low debut may not mean much, but if the whole album sounds like this, the Peas may discover they’ve invested a little too much faith in the willingness of their fans to follow them anywhere.

Eminem—Insane
#85

I’m assuming this made it onto the charts on sales, because I can guarantee you no radio station in the country would dare play it. It’s as if Eminem had found a way to set Naked Lunch to music, only without the relative comfort of knowing it’s an opium-induced fantasy. The only reassuring thing about this record is the emotional distance the music maintains. It’s the only song from Relapse I’ve heard where the lightness of the beats makes sense—set these lyrics to music that matched and it would be almost impossible to listen to. I just wish I could be assured that it’s selling for its quality, and not just as a novelty.

Glee Cast—Rehab
#98

If the opening of their cover of “Don’t Stop Believin’” demonstrates what can be done right by a vocal group, even with a bad song, this demonstrates everything that can be done wrong with a great one. The musical style may be different, but in approach this is barely a half step away from the lamest folk groups of the early sixties or Sing Along With Mitch. I know this is partly intended as satire, but I’m not sure that’s how most of the audience is taking it, and I fear endless follow-ups. And if, as some believe, Amy Winehouse is already minstrelsy, what the hell is this?

New This Week

Monday, May 25th, 2009

Eminem—“Beautiful”
#17

The recent interview with Eminem in the New York Times confirms two obvious points about Relapse: one, it came out of a period of intense confusion, depression and self-doubt; two, the Slim Shady stuff was done more from a sense of duty to fans than any real desire to resurrect the persona. Which explains why this record, where Eminem speaks pretty much as himself, is so much superior to the Shady-oriented material that preceded it. I have my doubts about the power ballad intro and outro, but this is a great record. Even clean and sober, though, Eminem finds himself in a difficult position. The Slim Shady stuff is old hat, but he can’t, and shouldn’t, build the next phase of his a career out of down-tempo raps about depression (leave that to the indie kids). He needs something new, something that will probably alienate large sections of his audience. As much as I respect his desire to please his old fans, he may find that they’re another dependency he’ll have to wean himself from. Are their twelve-step programs for adulation addiction?

Jordin Sparks—“Battlefield”
#32

I’ve liked some of Sparks’ earlier records, but the bombast here is too much, with whatever personality and charm she possesses overpowered by thundering drums. Note to songwriters and producers: “Umbrella”-inspired songs with choruses that consist of nothing but the title repeated over and over like an echo are old and overdone. Time for a new trick, please.

Jonas Brothers—“Paranoid”
#37

Critics, and the Brothers themselves, are attributing the darker tones of this record to “maturity” (why, they’re almost a year older than they were when they made their last album!), but it probably has more to do with spending the last few years on the entertainment industry hamster wheel. Since I assume these clean cut boys don’t ingest any substance stronger than caffeine, their paranoia is probably the result of sleep deprivation more than anything else, which would explain why the change of tone is lyrical rather than musical; their machine-tooled pop-punk is as bouncy as ever, and just as unoriginal. If I can be excused an untoward comparison, they’re in roughly the same place The Beatles were in late ’64/early ’65: exhausted, but still game. In the Brothers case, though, I don’t think there’s an equivalent to Rubber Soul waiting around the bend, and not just because they don’t smoke dope.

Cobra Starship featuring Leighton Meester—“Good Girls Go Bad”
#76

Coming on the heels of Lady GaGa and 3Oh!3, this single suggests a new trend: bombastic electro-influenced records about women losing (or intentionally throwing away) their inhibitions. This one includes an appearance by a member of the cast of Gossip Girl, which should cement the idea in the minds of culture watchers nicely. If this becomes a hit, there should be a piece in the New York Times Style section before the summer is out.

The Fray—“Heartless”
#79

I’d be more than willing to ignore The Fray if they saved their self-indulgent warbling for their own material, but this act of desecration forces my hand. Say goodbye to Hinder and Nickelback, because these guys are now officially the Worst Band in the World. Question: Does this mean “You Found Me” would sound good if Kanye sang it? Answer: No.

Jessie James—“Wanted”
#87

Many people, including me, complain that country is still lost in the late ’70s, or maybe the early ’80s, but this roaring piece of female raunch is as modern as it gets. That is, it’s main influences aren’t the Eagles or John Mellencamp, but Kelly Clarkson and, especially, Katy Perry. This may sound horrible to you, and it certainly isn’t what most people would call country, but Nashville professionalism and attention to lyrical and musical detail make it more interesting than most of Clarkson’s and Perry’s stuff. Sexier, too–and a lot dirtier.

Darius Rucker—“Alright”
#91

Rucker’s first two country singles possessed the lyrical specificity and detail that makes up for a lot of rote arrangements and fruity singing in Nashville. This one doesn’t. He sounds almost as vague as Hootie.

The Pussycat Dolls featuring Nicole Scherzinger—“Hush Hush”
#96

A terrible record, and when it shifts into “I Will Survive” you can feel the desperation take hold as the Dolls slide back into the oblivion from which they came. The only thing that keeps this from being the worst single of the year is the existence of The Fray.

Trey Songz—“I Need a Girl”
#100

Chris Brown having sabotaged his career, Trey Songz steps into the gap with the oldest trick in the pop book. He needs a girl, and ladies, you could be the one. All you need to do is hollaback, preferably in the form of buying this record, the album, concert tickets, and associated merchandise. Not a bad song, but the blatant pandering is a bit much.