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The Highway Don’t Care, But My Songs Do: Hot 100 Roundup—2/23/13

Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

Fall Out Boy—“My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light Em Up)”
#26

I’ve never been a fan of Fall Out Boy. Their songs, their playing, and their ideas always seemed muddled to me, and when you combined those with their obvious ambition and self-absorption you got a lot of pretentious mess. I was glad when they decided to go on hiatus (from which I assumed they wouldn’t return), because I could only see them getting worse if they carried on. But now they’re back, and the time off has obviously been good for them, because their comeback single is focused, imaginative, and even comes close to making sense (at least to me; I’m sure it makes perfect sense to them). Naturally enough, the song is at least partially about their time off. At least, I assume that’s what the “dark” of the title partly refers to (these guys love puns and multiple meanings). The best stroke is in the title itself, the idea of a songwriter being informed of mysterious goings on (by who or in what context we’re never told) by the songs he writes. It reveals songwriting as a kind of self-telepathy along the lines of Norman Mailer’s famous statement “I don’t know what I think until I write it down” (and yes, I had no idea what the song was about until I started writing this). These guys have obviously stored up enough anger to drive their songs without a lot of fancy ideas, but it’s good to hear them thinking. It’s even better to hear that thought making it’s way into the music instead of confusing it.

Lady Antebellum—“Downtown”
#45

After the run of mediocre singles that followed the wonderful “Need You Now” (there were seven of them, in case you’re counting), I figured Lady Antebellum for one of those groups who have one great song in them, and then repeat the formula for as long as it takes for the magic to wear off and they disappear from view. But “Downtown” is a surprise in every way, a slice of stripped-down country funk that’s the polar opposite of “Need You Now” and just about everything else in mainstream country. It does have one predecessor: “Pontoon”, and I would be surprised if Little Big Town’s hit wasn’t a strong influence on this one. “Downtown” isn’t as sultry, but it’s funkier, and if the song and arrangement aren’t enough of a surprise, the guitar break sure is. The first great country single of the year, and it’s going to be a hard one to top.

Rihanna featuring Mikky Ekko—“Stay”
#57

Adele having opened the door with “Someone Like You”, we’re starting to see a rise in piano-only (or near-piano-only in this case) ballads. Bruno Mars has one (and a good one, too) in the top ten, and now there’s “Stay”. I was impressed at first: the song moves nicely and shifts in ways that keep your attention, and Rihanna’s voice is looser and comes closer to real emotion than she ever has before. But then you have to deal with Mikky Ekko (ugh, what a name), and his “Ed Sheeran wasn’t available so they sent me” vocal. Ekko gets the entire second verse to himself and sinks the record. At at her most mechanistic, at least Rihanna has a voice that keeps your attention. Ekko couldn’t get you to notice him even if he was singing to you in an elevator—you’d mistake him for muzak. There are a lot of guest vocals and raps on Unapologetic, along with dance tracks with not much in the way of lyrics. This is Rihanna’s way, I suppose, of giving herself a break while making sure she doesn’t drop out of public view for more than 25 minutes. I don’t blame her, but if she’s going to do that she needs to find better singers.

Tim McGraw & Taylor Swift—“Highway Don’t Care”
#59

Tim McGraw may be the most overrated country star of the last fifteen years. He’s got a voice, but he uses it for nothing but the usual country sentiment. He’s willing to experiment with sounds and styles, but he always lands in roughly the same place, and those experiments never extend to the ideas or the themes of the songs themselves. He generates a lot of buzz at times, but no heat. On “Highway Don’t Care” he teams up with Taylor Swift, who has already done her part to canonize him, and though neither one of them had a hand in writing the song, it may as well have both their fingerprints on it. Which means it leads nowhere new. Even worse, it takes its sweet time not getting there. The only revelation comes when Swift takes the part of the generic love song playing on the radio: if ever there was proof that it’s her voice as well as her songwriting talents that have made her such a star, this is it. She makes those banal words come alive. Too bad McGraw can’t do the same.

Drake—“Started From the Bottom”
#63

“Started From the Bottom” is more a teaser for the new album than a legitimate single, but I’m impressed by the beat, and by Drake’s switching up of voices. Whatever you may think of him overall, there’s no doubt that he’s improved as a rapper. As for the lyrics, I assume that he means that he and his crew started out from the bottom of the rap game, not life itself. I’m willing to concede that point; how many people would take any teen actor—especially a Canadian one—seriously if he suddenly announced he intended to become a serious rapper? But that doesn’t mean he needs to devote every track to complaining about it.

Kenney Chesney—“Pirate Flag”
#68

Chesney is coming off a string of above-average singles, but this is the fourth single off Welcome To the Fishbowl, and the inspiration doesn’t run quite as deep this time around. Certainly not deep enough to float his pirate ship.

Young Jeezy featuring 2 Chainz—“R.I.P.”
#69

Is he talking about his career? Not yet, I guess.

Chris Young—“I Can Take It From There”
#97

For assembly-line made country slap and tickle, not bad. But I’d have less doubt about his lust if Young didn’t use so many pre-formed parts to put it across.

Wale featuring Tiara Thomas—“Bad”
#99

This is the first time a Wale record has gotten my attention since he teamed up with Lady Gaga on “Chillin’” nearly four years ago. Once again it’s the woman who makes the track worth hearing. When Tiara Thomas announces that she’s never made love but she sure knows how to fuck, the record is essentially over, at least as far as Wale is concerned. Who pays attention to anything else after that? Thomas also outs herself as a cheater who’s guaranteed to break Wale’s heart, which I guess makes her whatever definition of the recently controversial term “bad bitch” you care to apply. The word “bad” applies to Wale, too, but in only one way that I can think of.

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By Default
Hot 100 Roundup—12/15/12

Monday, December 10th, 2012

A busy week for the Hot 100 considering the time of year. Only two of these records—”Scream & Shout” and “My Life”—could be considered “true” hits, though. The others arrive only by default: the two souvenir songs from The Voice for obvious reasons, the other three because they were high enough up to be given a lift by Billboard’s chart rules, which drops records from the Hot 100 if they’ve been there for more then twenty weeks and have fallen out of the top fifty. In other words, there are probably records that, by Billboard’s formula, are doing better than these three, but have been arbitrarily removed to make room for more. There are times when I wish Billboard would print a comprehensive chart for singles the same as they used to do for albums (and which has now become the standard album chart). It would be interesting to see how long a song like “Call Me Maybe” or “Somebody That I Used to Know” would hang around the lower reaches. It probably won’t happen because the commercial aspect isn’t that important—once a single is out of the top fifty it isn’t pulling in much revenue anyway, and unless it somehow bounces back radio won’t care about chart placement. But just as a gauge of listening and buying habits it’s something I’d like to see.

will.i.am featuring Britney Spears—“Scream & Shout”
#12

For all the accusations of exploitation, whether of Spears, Spears’s brand, or even will.i.am’s own commercial clout, this is hardly the quickie cash-in people think it is. If will.i.am cared that much about getting a hit, he would have added some dubstep to his minimalist electro, picked a singer with a higher and purer teen profile instead of one with more history than current accomplishment, and lessened his own vocal contribution. Unless he’s playing to an oldies crowd, which in this case means kids who are eighteen instead of fourteen, I suspect he makes this kind of record because he likes it. Yes, he’ll do everything in his power to make it a hit, but that doesn’t mean he makes it to be a hit. Except in the clubs, of course, where this beat will do just fine, and where Britney’s near anonymous vocals and will.i.am’s autotuned flat ones won’t make a bit of difference.

50 Cent featuring Eminem & Adam Levine—“My Life”
#27

50 Cent’s star has dimmed so much that even Nah Right hates this record. Thanks to Eminem, who demonstrates such technical wizardry you wonder why 50 Cent even bothered with the final verse, it isn’t awful, but it isn’t good, either. Strangest moment: after 50 Cent suggests that his new album could put him back in the game, comparing it to Eminem’s Recovery, Eminem himself ponders the possibility that Recovery was a mistake, because it did put him back in the game; that is, back in the same situation that almost destroyed him the first time. If 50 Cent and Eminem ever do this again, they might want to compare notes before they start spitting.

Melanie Martinez—“Too Close”
#94

Cassadee Pope—“Are You Happy Now?”
#95

Tim McGraw—“One of Those Nights”
#96

While country moves on, McGraw, finally free of Curb Records, acts as if nothing has changed and continues to make Bob Seger records with twang. Here he advises young men to hold on to those precious memories of sex in the backseat. Other than as something to be remembered, he doesn’t say what becomes of the girl.

Ludacris featuring Kelly Rowland—“Representin””
#97

Ludacris’s flow—the stretched out vowels, the double time section in the middle of the verse, the intense, near growl at the end—has become so predictable that it hardly matters what he says; you know what he’s gong to sound like the minute he opens his mouth. So maybe the fact that he has nothing new to say and is no longer funny doesn’t matter; there’s something almost comforting in his repetition of the same effects. Still, “Representin’” is almost the definition of mediocrity, and Kelly Rowland changes nothing.

Cher Lloyd featuring Becky G—“Oath”
#99

I’ve come to think more highly of “Want U Back” than I did at first, but I still have my doubts about Lloyd overall. This bopping ode to sisterhood is too ridden with banality to reach any great height, and it’s so corny that if it wasn’t for the relative toughness of the beat you could easily confuse it for a friendship bonding number from a Disney movie (I like Disney pop in general, but the soundtrack songs are almost always terrible). It might help if I could tell Lloyd and Becky G apart vocally. Their British tough-girl act must be something that’s handed out by the labels. Either that, or Simon Cowell keep a supply of them in his closet.

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Confessions and Evasions
Hot 100 Roundup—7/28/12

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

Frank Ocean—“Thinkin Bout You”
#85
Even without Ocean’s personal revelations, it’s hard to imagine how much further into the confessional form anyone could go than Channel Orange. His emotional confusion and the yearning that go with it shape and dictate the style and sound of the album, especially on this track, which opens the record and sets the stage for everything to come. He talks about the weather and begins to cry; jokes about the shallowness of his feelings and then admits he’s lying while collapsing on his bed in a single, brilliant line; finally he bares his hopes, his dreams, and his disappointments in a sweet, shaky falsetto that’s beautiful and unsettling, accusatory and pleading. Not a pop record, and its appearance on the Hot 100 may be the result of curiosity as much as quality (and I worry that some people are drawn to him because he reminds them of Drake). But anything that gives attention to a great record is fine by me.

French Montana featuring Rick Ross, Drake, Lil Wayne—“Pop That”
#90
Montana’s raps are so difficult to understand that it’s no surprise that people think he’s making up new words. There could be two or three in every line for all I know. Rick Ross is Rick Ross, which is neither good nor bad. He’s just there, as usual. Which leaves Drake and Lil Wayne, one becoming more ordinary with every rap, and the other trying desperately not to be. Drake sounds more confident than ever, but all that means is that except when he gets off a good line (there are a couple here), he sounds like every other bragging rapper. Meanwhile, Lil Wayne flails around trying to find something that will stick, and comes up with one of the most disgusting sexual images I’ve ever heard. I’m not going to repeat it; you’ll know it when you hear it (I hope).

Thomas Rhett—“Something To Do With My Hands”
#93
The title told me exactly what this would sound like, but it didn’t fill me in on how good it would be. If country is going to be the new rock and roll (or the old rock and roll with more twang and banjos for texture instead of synths) that’s fine with me, especially if the up-and-comers’ tastes in early ’80s rock continue to lean more toward Rockpile than The Eagles or Tom Petty. Like Eric Church, Rhett brings an energy to his music that’s missing from that of most of their peers, and he avoids the sheen of studio perfection that mars so many Nashville versions of rock (compare CHurch and Rhett to Tim McGraw or Kenny Chesney). Rhett is a little more laid back than Church, and sounds like he comes from the more privileged side of the tracks (he should; his father, Rhett Akins, was a minor country star in the late ’90s and still writes hits for others, including Blake Shelton’s “Honey Bee”), but he’s just as good at putting a song together. And in a genre that makes stars of overbearing hacks like Jason Aldean and Brantley Gilbert, he’s another glimmer of hope.

Ed Sheeran—“The A Team”
#95
An old-fashioned piece of singer/songwriter acoustic balladry, with all the flaws inherent in the form. The hushed romanticism sentimentalizes the darkness of the subject—a young girl hooked on opium (at least I assume that’s opium in her pipe; who would sing about a crack addict like this?), forced into prostitution to support her habit, and slowly dying to boot—while the attempts at lyrical profundity and poetry end up trivializing the subject rather than illuminating it. The girl’s face, for instance, is described as “crumbling like pastries”. It’s evocative, but of what is hard to tell. Is her skin flaky? Buttery? Dusted with powdered sugar? And why change the pronoun in the final chorus? Is Sheeran blaming us for this situation he made up? Or is he saying we’re all addicts? Is being simplistic and engaging in faux-profundity another flaw inherent in the singer/songwriter form, or is it just Sheeran?

Train—“50 Ways To Say Goodbye”
#98
Train’s hooks are so simple and obvious you find yourself humming along before they even start (especially, as in this case, when the new chorus sounds so much like the last one). Their beats are so bouncy that some rhythmic spring in your lizard brain sproings along in time no matter how hard your conscious mind tries to shut it off. Lyrically they’re goofy without being witty or challenging, though they do a good enough job at avoiding cliche to keep you listening for whatever nonsense they’ll come up with next. Their records are devoid of any actual emotion other than the desire to write a catchy chorus, even when the song is about a broken relationship, like this one. Even their irony is fake. In other words, they make children’s records for adults (or at least adult—cough—radio). They’ve been doing this for a couple of decades now. I’d admire their commercial acuity and tenacity if I didn’t hate them so much.

Big & Rich—“That’s Why I Pray”
#99
Less than a decade ago, Big and Rich looked like the future of country music. Somehow, though, they never moved forward in the way people hoped they would, and the future they helped to anticipate arrived without them (see above). Now they seem a bit old-fashioned and out of touch. This is an above-average “trust in God” song, but just when you hope they’ll do something different (I would love to hear more from the unemployed guy who tells them not to mention God in his presence), they start pulling out well-worn and outdated ideas that we’ve not only heard too many times before, but are just plain wrong; i.e., teen pregnancy rates have been dropping over the last decade, not going up. Except in the bible belt, of course, where they’ve been trusting in God a little too much.

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Rage, Real and Imagined
Hot 100 Roundup—7/21/12

Wednesday, July 18th, 2012

P!nk—“Blow Me (One Last Kiss)”
#58
P!nk’s persona, the pop diva with the heart of a riot grrrl, can create interesting tensions in her music, but sometimes it forces her to overplay her hand. This is a step up from songs like her pre-maternity leave self-help ballad “Fuckin’ Perfect”, but she tries too hard. The song is already tough enough without the double entendre title parenthesis or the ear-piercing pitch of the “shit day” section. It’s not that I don’t believe that P!ink has shit days, it’s that the whole section is overkill and seems designed to do nothing more than give her a chance to swear and remind everyone how down-to-earth she is. Without it, despite it’s worrying 90s feel (guitar line courtesy U2, vocal harmonies on the verses courtesy Liz Phair), it would be a much better song. As it is, it’s slightly above-average and nothing more.

Tim McGraw—“Truck Yeah”
#69
Not a great song, but there’s no doubt McGraw is re-energized now that he’s free of Curb Records. Anyone who thinks Emotional Traffic wasn’t pure contractual obligation should listen to how fired up McGraw sounds here. He’ll come up with better material, but as an announcement of liberation this isn’t bad. Also, the image of McGraw rocking out to Lil Wayne is pleasing in all sorts of ways (though I do wonder how you do that).

DJ Khaled featuring Kanye West & Rick Ross—“I Wish You Would”
#78
Having decided that drunken award show ramblings and all-caps Twitter rants are damaging not only to his reputation but his self-respect, West has wisely decided to express his vehemence and air his frustrations on his records instead. The result, so far, has been a succession of singles in which his anger, instead of being diminished by expression, has grown, as if each record was feeding off the one that preceded it. “Mercy”, “Theraflu/Way Too Cold/Cold” (the succession of titles alone gives you an idea of how focused West’s rage has become), and now “I Wish You Would”, are all rants directed at anyone who has ever gotten in West’s way or dared to consider themselves his equal (excepting, of course, his mentor Jay-Z). Each has been more bitter and pointed than the one that came before. The most brilliant part of this campaign has been his using the bombastic, rap brag production of DJ Khaled as his base, taking the already prominent anger of the form and amping it to the breaking point. Rick Ross does his best to keep up, but he’s out of his league, and Khaled’s best contribution, aside from the beat, is a brief interjection expressing amazement at the majestic vehemence of West’s rap. West is working out so much aggression that I fully expect his next album to be full of laid back soul ballads and Chi-Lites samples. Then again, if he keeps up like this, it may end up as an album length equivalent to the intro of “(For God’s Sake) Give More Power To the People”.

Trey Songz featuring T.I.—“2 Reasons”
#97
It’s nice to hear Songz breaking out of the soul ballad niche he’s come close to exhausting and being trapped in, and T.I.’s trying out a new flow and voice is a relief, as well (he’s barely recognizable as his old self). This is nothing but a goof, and suffers from not going far enough into the inanity that drives it, but I like it more every time I hear it, and it may turn out to be a keeper.

Pitbull featuring Shakira—“Get It Started”
#99
What a mess. Pitbull’s willingness to try just about anything is one of his greatest strengths, but here he comes out with a start and stop dance track that doesn’t make sense even when it’s banging. Shakira’s presence adds to the mystery. This sounds like two incomplete productions slapped together in the hope that the marquee names on the label will make the accumulated trash a hit anyway.

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Of Beez and Men
Hot 100 Roundup—4/21/12

Friday, April 20th, 2012

Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull—“Dance Again”
#27
The music on the chorus is too garish, and Pitbull is wasted, but the verses are great, and this record officially establishes Lopez’s comeback as more successful than Madonna’s. Of course, Lopez achieved this by ripping off the more easily copied bits of Madonna’s style, but she still has the advantage. Does MDNA have any tracks produced by RedOne? Sounds like it should have.

Kanye West featuring Big Sean, Pusha T, 2 Chainz—“Mercy”
#38
In just about every way, West’s rap doesn’t fit this song: it breaks the flow, simplifies the beat while complicating the record as a whole, and shows up everyone else’s ignorance by promoting his own intelligence. It’s as if he expects the whole world to come to a halt every time he opens his mouth. Gee, I wonder what that could be a metaphor for? But aside from the exotic main beat, his rap is the only thing that makes this record interesting. West is right: those other guys should shut up and go home.

Kenny Chesney & Tim McGraw—“Feel Like A Rock Star”
#40
My problem with this, besides how dull and cliched it is, is that I can’t get the image of Cheney and McGraw performing it on the ACM Awards out of my head. With Chesney in his sleeveless, fuchsia t-shirt and white cowboy hat, and McGraw in his black v-neck, leather pants, and black leather cowboy hat, they looked like country’s most prominent ambiguously gay couple. The lyrics, with turns of phrase that could easily be taken for gay slang, don’t help matters. Are they trying to tell us something? If they are, that would be the only interesting thing about this record.

Nicki Minaj
“Right By My Side” (featuring Chris Brown), #51
“Beez In the Trap” (featuring 2 Chainz), #78
“Va Va Voom”, #79
“Beez In the Trap” is a classic, “Va Va Voom” likable but nothing special, “Right By My Side” another of Minaj’s unfortunate forays into generic pop (on which, once again, she does an expert Rihanna impersonation). So goes another week in the life of the most promising and frustrating rapper of the last two years. And now she’s cut herself off from Twitter and is complaining about lackluster sales. I suspect if she had only released “Starships” and “Beez In the Trap” before the album came out, instead of all the Roman stuff, that wouldn’t have been a problem (just because you’re the female Weezy doesn’t mean you have to match his release schedule). Whatever the case, it sounds like she could use a vacation.

DJ Khaled feturing Chris Brown, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne—“Take It To the Head”
#63
Sub-par performances all around on the latest, less boomy than usual, Khaled extravaganza. Only Brown sounds like he’s interested. Bet he ends up wishing he hadn’t wasted that hook.

Demi Lovato—“Give Your Heart A Break”
#70
Interesting. This is from Lovato’s LP Unbroken, which came out last September. It’s only the second official single from the album, and releasing something bright and bouncy after the ballad, “Skyscraper”, makes perfect sense, but it’s impossible not to wonder if its release doesn’t have something to do with the success of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe”. Aside from the lyrics, the first few bars are almost identical. So is this a cash-in? Lovato establishing a prior claim? It’s easy to imagine that Jepsen and her producers drew on this for inspiration, so is this release Lovato’s way of calling them on it? Whatever the case, it’s a great record, if not as great as Jepsen’s. It’s good to hear Lovato doing something upbeat that doesn’t focus on vulnerability or depend on her usual vocal tics.

T.I.—“Love This Life”
#81
It’s an interesting stylistic change-up, but the lyrics are the same-old “the way to a woman’s heart is through your credit card” nonsense. Even when he gets around to mentioning love and affection in the second verse he still ends up talking about all the stuff he’s bought her. Which finally makes me realize why I’ve always had a problem with T.I.: under all the beats and the great flow, he’s as shallow as they come.

Fat Joe featuring Chris Brown—“Another Round”
#83
I congratulate Joe on his weight loss. It’s a hard thing to do. But all I can say about this record is that the adjective in his name still applies to his head. And that goes double for Chris Brown.

Andy Grammer—“Fine By Me”
#87
Not by me, you smarmy twit.

Of Monsters and Men—“Little Talks”
#92
I knew there would be Mumford and Son imitators, and I knew they would be terrible, but I didn’t know they’d be quite as bad as this. I’m reminded of the ghastly folk-pop groups of the mid-sixties, The We Five, maybe, or even The Seekers. This is faster and rougher, because that’s the style, but the result is pretty much the same: pseudo-folk for pseudo-folkies, only this time with blaring, witless horn charts. Some things just never die.

Gloriana—“(Kissed You) Good Night”
#97
As followers in the footsteps of Lady Antebellum, these guys are almost as good, which means they’re almost as bad, too. I appreciate the romanticism, but there’s something unsettling about the line “I should have pushed you up against the wall”, especially when the woman sings it. I’m sure it’s meant in all innocence, but the possessive, domineering tone of it (after he’s admitted to being scared to kiss her in the first place), followed by the woman’s submissive tone when she repeats it, grates and sets off alarms. It’s kind of creepy. Takes all the romanticism right out of it, at least for me.

K’Naan featuring Nelly Furtado—“Is Anybody Out There?”
#99
Two years ago K’Naan was making great records about racism and the horrors of living in Somalia; now he’s singing It Gets Better songs over Smeezingtons-wannabe beats. Furtado sounds so anonymous that every time I hear this I need to strain to remember who it is. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

Listen on Spotify

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Hot 100 Roundup–1/14/12

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

Nelly—“The Champ”
#64
Written to order for ESPN, and it sounds like it, though it’s not that bad. Nelly is an expert at mixing genres (he did feature Tim McGraw on a record once, after all), and this has a pleasant pop lilt with slight indie touches over the hip-hop rhythms and synth squiggles. It’s soft for a football song, but then its intent is more uplift than fist pumping. And the joke about waving to his mom on TV is perfect.

B.o.B. featuring Andre 3000—“Play the Guitar”
#98
More decent rapping from B.o.B., but the real stars here are Andre 3000 and Bo Diddley. Diddley, of course, provides the beat (and snags two songwriting credits in the process, one as Bo Diddley, the other under his real name, Elias McDaniel—did he think that would make him twice as much in royalties?). Andre, meanwhile, delivers a rap that starts on top of a Church’s Chicken, swings over to Europe, encourages kids to take up an instrument and eat their vegetables, and ends with him strumming in a practice room, defending his musical approach (“Do you cry in tune, nigger?”). Not a great record overall, but Andre’s rap is a keeper. Where’s that Outkast record?

Listen on Spotify

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Hot 100 Roundup—12/31/11

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012

Tim McGraw—”Better Than I Used To Be”
#81
The lead single from McGraw’s last album for Curb records, with whom he’s been legally wrangling and trying to get out from under for about half his career. It’s still McGraw, so it’s better than some, but it’s still a piece of stereotypical country you can bet McGraw didn’t think about more than twice. Is that title intended as a message to either Curb or McGraw’s fans? Doesn’t matter; chances are you’ll forget this faster than you can say “contractual obligation”.

Glee Cast—”Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
#92

Lee Brice—”A Woman Like You”
#96
In which Brice stretches a two line joke into a three verse song, and succeeds in pandering both to his wife and his audience at the same time. At least his wife has the sense to roll her eyes when he tries to sneak this one past her.

Michael Buble—”All I Want for Christmas Is You”
#99
I have no sentimental attachment to the original, so it doesn’t strike me as a terrible idea to slow it down to a tempo usually reserved for songs about broken hearts or dead puppies. It doesn’t strike me as a good idea, though, either. Especially since Buble sings it with all the intensity he’d apply to buying a present for a distant cousin at the last minute on Christmas Eve in a Walgreens.

Gym Class Heroes featuring Neon Hitch—”Ass Back Home”
#100
In an era of self-absorbed male singers, Travie McCoy is the worst, or at least the most grating, and Neon Hitch does nothing but prove she can stand equal with Dido and Skylar Grey in the great women-who-provide-the-lyrical-hook-on-rap-records contest. Which still leaves her behind Dev and whoever is singing backup for Ghostface Killah these days. Did I mention it’s reggae? Reggae like Jack Johnson, that is.

Listen on Spotify (if you dare)

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Hot 100 Roundup—11/14/10

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

Tim McGraw—”Felt Good On My Lips”
#26
This sounds sexier than most country, and I like the way McGraw changes up the meaning of the title line as he goes along; all very professional. Like a lot of country, though, the lines that are supposed to provide detail and a bit of humor tend to sound forced and out of place; he devotes so much time and energy to describing a mixed drink it’s impossible not to snort. Then it all ends with nothing more than a goodnight kiss. It might make a good joke song if McGraw upped the tempo, or a good romance song if you got the feeling there was the least possibility of romance. As it is, it’s nothing.

Ke$ha—”Sleazy”
#51
The chorus, with its echoes of both classic girl groups and post-punk girl bands, is enough to carry the rest of the song, which is hedonistic without being greedy, a smart move. Is she trying to reclaim “sleazy” the same way the riot grrrls tried to reclaim “slut”? It didn’t work the first time, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth trying again.

Nicki Minaj featuring Eminem—”Roman’s Revenge”
#56
Oddly enough, this otherwise awful record appears to mark the return of Eminem’s sense of humor. Needless to say, it’s a highly offensive sense of humor, and the laughs aren’t boffo, but he sounds even more on top of things here than he did on Recovery. Minaj, meanwhile, is completely out of her league (Lil Wayne must have been taking it easy on her), and the only good thing about her fake British accent is that it comes after all of Eminem’s bits so you can turn the damn thing off without feeling you’re going to miss something. The less said about Minaj’s choosen name for her alter ego, Roman Zolanski, the better. Slim Shady she ain’t.

Pitbull—“Bon Bon”
#61
“We No Speak Americano” hasn’t come close to finishing its chart run, but that doesn’t stop Pitbull from jumping aboard, and good for him. His perfect timing and sense of humor make the song both more bearable and may even give it some meaning, though since yo no hablo español, I couldn’t say what that would be. Chances are he’s just trying to pick up a girl.

Kenny Chesney—”Somewhere With You”
#67
There are hints of something deep and dark in the lyrics, maybe even a dose of reality, but Chesney delivers it all with his usual well-oiled aplomb, and by the end the record has turned into another one of his lady-pleasing “I wanna sleep with you tonight” songs. Even when he’s trying to be thoughtful the guy can’t resist shameless pandering.

T.I. (featuring Chris Brown)—”Get Back Up”
#70
It’s a surprise that not only is T.I.’s latest apology (or would this be his first?) is so light-hearted, it’s also so lightweight in terms of sound. You’d never know he had a care in the world, a feeling Chris Brown, even with his own history, only enlarges (I’ve never cared for him as a lead, but he’s a great background singer). T.I. is still harping on the haters, but at least he’s picking out the right haters, and not throwing insults out scattershot. I suspect the softness of the sound is an attempt to make him look like a nicer and more thoughtful guy than he may actually be, but at least he seems to be thinking about it.

Ricky Martin featuring Joss Stone—”The Best Thing About Me Is You”
#74
I bet this sounds better in Spanish. And I bet if I spoke Spanish I would think it sounds better in English. I’m glad Ricky Martin came out, but that doesn’t mean I want him to come back.

New Hollow—”Sick”
#86
Wannabe teen sensations steal their song structure from “Creep”, their riffs from The Who, their lyrical ideas from Mudhoney, and their overall vibe from, uh, The Records? Not The Records of “Starry Eyes”, unfortunately. More The Records of “Teenarama”, which isn’t bad, but isn’t great, either. I could do without the hurling sound effect at the end, but this is growing on me. They may not have enough sense to know how tasteless the idea of this song is, but I bet they wouldn’t care if they did. Who says power pop is dead?

Chris Young—”Voices”
#89
Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 11/7/10

Jason Aldean with Kelly Clarkson—”Don’t You Wanna Stay”
#93
Good singer hooks up with great singer, and together they sing a terrible song and let the arrangement drown out their voices. I couldn’t care less about what Aldean does, but Clarkson deserves better, and there’s no reason to believe she’ll ever go out and get it or even realizes it exists. Her weakness for power ballads appears to be authentic, just like her voice. What a depressing combination.

Toby Keith—”Bullets in the Gun”
#97
This is overwrought and too reliant on cliches, but it’s nice to know that there’s at least one guy in Nashville who’s willing to keep some sort of edge in his songs and doesn’t make pretty in the face of all the women who want to bash in his headlights and gun him down with a shotgun. Despite his jingoistic sins in the past, he make no apologies, knows his own strengths, and refuses to retreat from the masculine turf he’s been plowing his whole career. Hell, he may be the only real man left in town.

Rock Mafia—”The Big Bang”
#98
A weird one. Forget their Disney pedigree for a moment and just listen to this thing: the vocals, Tim James electrically modified so that in some moments he sounds like Amy Winehouse and in others as if he were computer-generated, are odd enough, but the overall sound is an even stranger throwback to sixties movie music, albeit a little funkier. It could be a rejected James Bond theme from 30 years ago. The lyrics, which compare the jolt of lust to the creation of the universe, are out there, too. Then there’s the whistling. Maybe Disney provided them with the one thing many artists don’t realize they need: a leash.

Blake Shelton—”Who Are You When I’m Not Looking”
#99
First line, over gentle acoustic guitar and light brushes on the drums: “My oh my, you’re so good lookin’/Hold yourself together like a pair of bookends”. After an opening like that the song has no choice but to get better, and it does, but not much better. I think I’ve asked this before but I’ll ask it again: what does Miranda Lambert see in this guy, anyway?

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Hot 100 Roundup—8/29/10

Monday, August 30th, 2010

Administrative note: For the sake of clarity, I decided to change the name of this column so people dropping in from Venus will know what they’re getting from the start. Part of the reason is purely mercenary; I figure it will make more sense in search engines (to paraphrase Liz Phair: I want to be read, dammit!). Also, Maura Johnston referred to this as a roundup in a tweet last week, and I liked the sound of it. Thanks, Maura. This will continue to be tagged as “New this week”, for those people who search around here by the tags. I’m also considering an archive page like the one I did for my top ten reviews. That’s for the future, though. As far as this week is concerned…

Lil Wayne featuring Drake—”Right Above It”
#6
I’m sure they thought they had a good idea when they started this track. Whatever it was, they lost it. Or maybe they were wrong to begin with.

Nelly—”Just a Dream”
#12
After nearly disappearing for half a decade, Nelly comes back with a record that pretty much takes up where he left off (this is the guy who recorded with Tim McGraw, remember?). His mix of R&B and rock seems a lot better thought out than Lil Wayne’s, and comes closer to a true synthesis than just about anybody, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t heard it before, or that Nelly has anything interesting to say. Not bad, but nothing special.

Katy Perry—”E.T.”
#42
When you consider that Perry’s fiancee is Russell Brand, who looks as much like an alien as anybody I can think of, this comes across as a good, affectionate joke. If you don’t know that, though, it’s just a mess. What’s interesting is that it holds up much better on the album, where Perry’s vocal affectations actually seem subdued in contrast to what surrounds it, than it does as a single. It also fits in perfectly with the other LP cuts that are about coming to terms with the split between her upbringing and the world she finds herself in now. She only plays dumb, you know.

Rascal Flatts—”Why Wait”
#48
I could make a comment about the continual mellowing and softening of country over the last couple of years, but these guys have been doing it for a decade now. While others of their generation followed The Eagles and Lynard Skynard, Rascal Flatts has stayed strictly pop, so when they want to up the tempo and look for a model in the ’70s they imitate Loggins and Messina. Loggins and fucking Messina.

Maroon 5—”Give A Little More”
#86
I appreciate their tempo and their brevity—this clocks in at exactly three minutes—but they sound mechanical, and they don’t seem able to write a song that has any ebb and flow to it. Their endless funk riffing, however well they do it, is crowded and claustrophobic. They also don’t seem to have a single interesting lyrical idea. I give them points for trying, but this just doesn’t cut it.

Soundgarden—”Black Rain”
#96
If you’re coming back after 12 years of dicking around and cashing in on your past, do you really want to do it with a song that sounds like all your previous records squeezed into one huge cliche? Not that they ever had more than one great album in them, anyway.

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The year so far, ctd.

Monday, July 26th, 2010

When I was doing my half-year summation last week, an idea struck me that I didn’t have time to include. As I said there, the apparent greatness of the year overall hasn’t made much of an impression on the pop charts, at least not in terms of individual records. As the old saying goes, though, a rising tide lifts all boats, and though I think it’s fair to say that there have been few great records on the Hot 100 this year, the quality, overall, has risen.

Quality, however, may not be the right word; freshness may be closer to the truth. Since the crash and burn of the summer of 2008, there has been a slow but steady revitalization. Pop music sounds different than it did three years ago. On the top forty charts, the touchstones are obvious. With Lady GaGa and the revamped Blacked Eyed Peas leading the way, followed by 3Oh!3, Ke$ha, and quickly adapting older artists like Rihanna and Jay-Z, electronica in one form or another has become a staple on the pop charts, to the point where even Disney stars like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez are jumping on the bandwagon (to be fair to Disney, Aly & AJ were actually ahead of the curve on this). At the same time, the pop embrace of electronica has forced those in the electronic music scene itself to up their game and look for new ideas to separate them from the mainstream (a process aided by the cross-pollination provided by DJ podcasts like those found at Resident Advisor, XLR8R, and Fact Magazine—check out Michaelangelo’s piece in the Guardian for an overview). At the same time, thanks to its exposure on the charts, electronica is garnering an ever-expanding fan base of more adventurous pop listeners.

Hip-hop and rap have also been reflecting the inspiration provided by electronic music. Unlike pop, however, the major changes are coming from smaller scenes outside the mainstream. While stars like T.I. and DJ Khaled fill their records with ever more baroque permutations of fuzzy synths, the whole of hip-hop is being remade from underneath by teenagers with lap tops. From Soulja Boy Tell’em in Mississippi to the jerkin’ movement in LA to Cali Swag District’s “Teach Me How To Dougie”, which puts an LA spin on a dance movement originating in Dallas, the movement in one form or another has gone nationwide. All that laptop rap needs now is an independently-minded genius to blow it wide open (Soulja Boy and New Boyz, unfortunately, have already been absorbed by the old guard).

Beyond the influence of electronica (and yes, I know that phrase is out of date, but find me another that covers the whole spectrum), other genres are being revamped as well, especially country. Up until a couple of years ago, country was ruled by good ol’ boys like Toby Keith and Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney, who sang, for the most part, about only one thing: how good it is to be a good ol’ boy. In the last two years, though, women have come back strong: Gretchen Wilson started the ball rolling, with Miranda Lambert following closely behind, then Carrie Underwood (whose “Before He Cheats” provided the ultimate kiss off to the good ol’ boy genre), with Kellie Pickler, Sugarland, Lady Antebellum, Rory and Joey, and a host of others quickly occupying the landscape. In a category all their own are Taylor Swift and Brad Paisley, who have brought an intelligent, charming, good-humored sensibility back to country that it’s been missing for over a decade. The good ol’ boys are still around, but their voices are muted. Many of them are trying to meet the women half way, and the result has been a batch of pleasant, if not always brilliant records that feel far more down to earth and human.

Interesting changes have taken place on the indie and alternative scenes as well, but for the moment none of those have been turning up in the pop charts. Not that that isn’t a possibility. As far as I can tell, the only major difference in sound between Ke$ha and Sleigh Bells is the mix: Ke$ha mixes her distorted electronic explosions down and her voice up; Sleigh Bells does the opposite. They may be on different paths, but they’re heading in the same direction. Everybody is. And somewhere down the road is a convergence point that’s going to blow everybody away.

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