Posts Tagged ‘Trey Songz’

Rage, Real and Imagined
Hot 100 Roundup—7/21/12

Wednesday, July 18th, 2012

P!nk—“Blow Me (One Last Kiss)”
#58

P!nk’s persona, the pop diva with the heart of a riot grrrl, can create interesting tensions in her music, but sometimes it forces her to overplay her hand. This is a step up from songs like her pre-maternity leave self-help ballad “Fuckin’ Perfect”, but she tries too hard. The song is already tough enough without the double entendre title parenthesis or the ear-piercing pitch of the “shit day” section. It’s not that I don’t believe that P!ink has shit days, it’s that the whole section is overkill and seems designed to do nothing more than give her a chance to swear and remind everyone how down-to-earth she is. Without it, despite it’s worrying 90s feel (guitar line courtesy U2, vocal harmonies on the verses courtesy Liz Phair), it would be a much better song. As it is, it’s slightly above-average and nothing more.

Tim McGraw—“Truck Yeah”
#69

Not a great song, but there’s no doubt McGraw is re-energized now that he’s free of Curb Records. Anyone who thinks Emotional Traffic wasn’t pure contractual obligation should listen to how fired up McGraw sounds here. He’ll come up with better material, but as an announcement of liberation this isn’t bad. Also, the image of McGraw rocking out to Lil Wayne is pleasing in all sorts of ways (though I do wonder how you do that).

DJ Khaled featuring Kanye West & Rick Ross—“I Wish You Would”
#78

Having decided that drunken award show ramblings and all-caps Twitter rants are damaging not only to his reputation but his self-respect, West has wisely decided to express his vehemence and air his frustrations on his records instead. The result, so far, has been a succession of singles in which his anger, instead of being diminished by expression, has grown, as if each record was feeding off the one that preceded it. “Mercy”, “Theraflu/Way Too Cold/Cold” (the succession of titles alone gives you an idea of how focused West’s rage has become), and now “I Wish You Would”, are all rants directed at anyone who has ever gotten in West’s way or dared to consider themselves his equal (excepting, of course, his mentor Jay-Z). Each has been more bitter and pointed than the one that came before. The most brilliant part of this campaign has been his using the bombastic, rap brag production of DJ Khaled as his base, taking the already prominent anger of the form and amping it to the breaking point. Rick Ross does his best to keep up, but he’s out of his league, and Khaled’s best contribution, aside from the beat, is a brief interjection expressing amazement at the majestic vehemence of West’s rap. West is working out so much aggression that I fully expect his next album to be full of laid back soul ballads and Chi-Lites samples. Then again, if he keeps up like this, it may end up as an album length equivalent to the intro of “(For God’s Sake) Give More Power To the People”.

Trey Songz featuring T.I.—“2 Reasons”
#97

It’s nice to hear Songz breaking out of the soul ballad niche he’s come close to exhausting and being trapped in, and T.I.’s trying out a new flow and voice is a relief, as well (he’s barely recognizable as his old self). This is nothing but a goof, and suffers from not going far enough into the inanity that drives it, but I like it more every time I hear it, and it may turn out to be a keeper.

Pitbull featuring Shakira—“Get It Started”
#99

What a mess. Pitbull’s willingness to try just about anything is one of his greatest strengths, but here he comes out with a start and stop dance track that doesn’t make sense even when it’s banging. Shakira’s presence adds to the mystery. This sounds like two incomplete productions slapped together in the hope that the marquee names on the label will make the accumulated trash a hit anyway.

Pop is Strange
Hot 100 Roundup—4/14/12

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

Justin Bieber—“Boyfriend”
#2

This may be a magic leap in quality and maturity for Bieber, but it’s still derivative as hell—music via Justin Timberlake, phrasing via Chris Brown. And the lyrics are dumb on every level. The worst isn’t the infamous reference to fondue by the fire, but a couple of lines later when he warns the girl of his dreams that his falsetto is coming. We already know that falsetto represents ecstasy and climax and all that, Bieber; you don’t need to tell us about it—especially not in the middle of the song.

Waka Flocka Flame featuring Trey Songz—“I Don’t Really Care”
#64

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Trey Songz—“Heart Attack”
#65

Trey Songz’s new romantic sincerity is an interesting turn in his career, but it isn’t resulting in interesting music. “Sex Ain’t Better Than Love” was too quirky and went on too long, while this one barely exists at all. I appreciate that he has something to say, but he needs to find a more exciting way to say it.

Sean Paul—“She Doesn’t Mind”
#78

Did Sean Paul really expect to burst back onto the charts after his two or so years off without updating his sound? Things have changed—a lot—and here he comes with a record that could have been made five years ago, if not ten. He wasn’t much good then; now he sounds completely out of place.

Pitbull—“Back In Time”
#79

Sue me, but I love this, if only because six months after her death we finally get at least a partial homage to Sylvia Robinson, plus Pitbull at his silliest and the hackiest, most obvious dubstep insert you’ll ever hear. A stupid novelty that sounds exactly like a stupid novelty is supposed to sound: fast, funny, and irresistible.

Josh Turner—“Time Is Love”
#91

There are people I respect who love this, but I’m not one of them. This isn’t bad, but it’s essentially an updated George Strait record, and since Strait is making those himself I’m not sure I see the point. It sounds fresh because, aside from Strait, not too many people are making records like this, but it’s above-average commercial country and nothing more.

Michel Telo—“Ai Se Eu Te Pego”
#95

A bright, breezy, not too cloying Brazilian singalong. First time I’ve heard Portugese on the chart. The lyric is about meeting a beautiful girl at a party (things are the same all over). Pleasant, but nothing special.

Chris Cagle—“Got My Country On”
#98

Country hair metal (mullet metal?) with not a single cliché, country or metal, out of place. When Cagle takes the song to church I feel like pounding his pandering ass into the dirt. The worst country song to make the chart so far this year.

Dev & Enrique Iglesias—“Naked”
#99

This has been floating around the Bubbling Under chart since the beginning of the year, and once you hear it you’ll understand why it hasn’t gotten much higher. Dev is fine, but this a rare substandard track from the Cataracs, and Iglesias is as smarmy as ever.

Listen on Spotify

Confusion
Hot 100 Roundup—3/24/12

Monday, April 2nd, 2012

John Mayer—“Shadow Days”
#42

John Mayer would like you to know that after crashing on his hotel room floor and doing something despicable to an unnamed young lady (no guesses, please), that he has gotten over his shadow days and realized he’s actually a pretty decent guy. He celebrates this marvel of self-deceit/congratulation with a number of tasty, meaningless solos (including one that channels the spirit of George Harrison, or at least his slide guitar). Even when some guys learn they never learn.

M83—“Midnight City”
#74

This is a classy and in some ways striking piece of electronic pop, but it’s also packed with musical and thematic clichés, and its mixed up evocation of 80s pop and dystopian sci-fi cityscapes —as if Blade Runner had been scored by A-ha—results in a curious but less than compelling pastiche. I think they want to be noir. They’re not.

Karmin—“Brokenhearted”
#84

If this song, which is catchy and in several ways not terrible, were performed by some Disney ingénue, or even someone in the Glee Cast, I would find it tolerable, maybe even enjoyable. But it’s not. It’s performed by a couple of college-trained musicians in their late twenties who sound above it all, eternally pleased with themselves, and lacking in any sense of what pop music is for or what it provides both for its performers and for its audience. They’re prigs, and their bouncy but lifeless music is better proof of it than anything I could say, so I never intend to mention them again.

Zac Brown Band—“No Hurry”
#96

In addition to whatever he mentions in this song, another thing that Zac Brown isn’t in a hurry about is slowing the flow of currency from his cash cow of an album. Hence this fifth single, which is even more boring than the four that came before it. He says he’s in no hurry to stop raising hell, too, but what I’d like to know is when he’s going to start.

Trey Songz—“Sex Ain’t Better Than Love”
#97

Sex may not be better than love, but if this crawling tribute to true romance is any indication, it’s a lot more exciting and straightforward. I’m sure Songz wanted this to burn with sincere eroticism, but the arrangement is so weird and sluggish that more than anything else he sounds confused. The middle eight is one of the oddest things you’ll ever hear, and makes no sense in the context of the song. I’m not sure what Songz was trying to get at; I don’t think he knew, either.

Listen on Spotify

Hot 100 Roundup—12/17/11

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

Glee Cast
“Perfect”, #57
“Girls Just Want To Have Fun”, #59
“I Kissed A Girl”, #66
“I’m the Only One”, #86
“Constant Craving”, #89

Nicki Minaj—”Roman In Moscow”
#64

Not sure what to make of this. It’s so busy you can barely understand the lyrics, and those you do aren’t worth getting excited about. Just over two and a half minutes long, it sounds more like the introduction to something bigger than a standalone single, except the something bigger is a bunch of bonus cuts attached to a “deluxe” edition of Pink Friday. Maybe it’s a commercial.

Grouplove—”Tongue Tied”
#78

Another group of privileged white kids (they met at an art school in Crete) who owe their chart placement to an advertisement for a well-considered, hip product. That being said, I like it. Though it’s about lost teen love, it avoids sentiment; it has a good, early 90′s, pre-Britpop groove, and though cloying in spots it’s never embarrassing. Unless the idea of privileged white kids making bouncy pop music embarrasses you already.

J. Cole featuring Trey Songz—”Can’t Get Enough”
#82

The pseudo-Latin groove is funny, but it’s also stupid, and not in a good way. Cole earned a lot of respect as a promising young rapper in his mix-tape days, but it’s impossible to tell from this which direction that promise pointed, or if it was there at all. As for Trey Songz, I’m not even sure which part is him.

Michael Buble—”It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas”
#96

I like Buble, but when he turns on the syrup, except in the service of sarcastic songs like “Hollywood Is Dead”, he can be unbearable. Not only is this treacle, but by subsuming himself in it Buble drowns every trace of his personality. It may as well be karaoke.

Brad Paisley—”Camouflage”
#100

Brad-Paisley-guitar-solo is one of my favorite country sub-genres right now, and this time it comes not only with a good song attached, but allows other members of the band to stretch out over the changes as well. The music is a pleasure, but the lyrics are problematic. For the most part they’re funny and unpretentious, but then you come to this line: “The Stars and Bars offend some folks/and I guess I see why”. Guess? On his last album Paisley called out the KKK and celebrated the election of an African-American President, and now he has to guess why people are offended by the Confederate flag? And just who are these “some folks”, anyway? There are three possible explanations for this misstep: carelessness (a trait Paisley hasn’t demonstrated much of in the past); pandering (ditto); or this is as deep as his thinking has gone on the matter. Not that anything could excuse it. Oh, and those chord changes everyone solos over with such dexterity? “Dixie”. Southern pride is one thing; thoughtlessness is another matter altogether.

Listen on Spotify

Hot 100 Roundup—6/18/11

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

Coldplay—”Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall”
#29

Producer Brian Eno continues to toughen them up musically, but the lyrics are as self-obsessed as ever. This one posits romantic revolution for record nerds, where sitting in your room and listening to daring and difficult music is a rebellious act that ends in you raising your fist against something or other somewhere out in the real world. And then you feel sorry for yourself. Not even Eno can ring the sentimentality out of crap as earnest and determined as this.

Pitbull featuring Chris Brown—”International Love”
#59

On the chorus, Chris Brown’s idea of international appears not to extend beyond the continental U.S. The hook is catchy, though, and Pitbull makes up for Brown’s narrowness with an itinerary that starts in Rumania (where a pair of sisters offer themselves to him) and includes Lebanon and most of South America. Compared to his last couple of appearances, Pitbull sounds rejuvenated, especially near the end, when he switches effortlessly between English and Spanish. His voice is his main attraction, but Pitbull doesn’t get near enough credit for his rapping, which is fluid not only linguistically but rhythmically. I find his eurodisco-based beats a bit heavy-handed, but that’s what a club banger is supposed to be.

Beyonce—”Best Thing I Never Had”
#84

Though she tries hard, too hard, to separate herself from the norm, Beyonce fits perfectly into one standard mold: the mid-career pop artist desperate to be taken seriously. Her attempts to break free are, in fact, a symptom of the problem. This is terrible in almost every way: over-arranged, melodramatic, badly sung (when Beyonce wants to sound angry she tends to bellow), with lyrics whose artlessness may be designed to counteract the dramatic production but only succeed in exacerbating the problem. By the time she shouts out “Sucks to be you right now” it’s impossible not to wonder what the hell she was thinking when she recorded this. That she was doing something different and daring, I bet.

Linkin Park—”Iridescent”
#86

I can’t stand these guys, but they are entertaining. This may be the funniest hard rock record since Queensryche’s “Silent Lucidity”, though it doesn’t come close to Queensryche’s preening, pretentious stupidity. It doesn’t even set a record for cliches, since just about any romantic lyricist could beat them in a walk. For sheer boilerplate existential despair, though, no one can touch them, and the first verse, which I feel a duty to quote in full, is a masterpiece:

You were standing in the wake of devastation
And you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
And with the cataclysm raining down
Insides crying “Save me now”
You were there, impossibly alone

It’s even funnier when Mike Shinoda sings it.

Trey Songz featuring Drake—”Unusual”
#90

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 6/4/11

Rodney Atkins—”Take A Back Road”
#92

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/21/11

Victorious Cast featuring Victoria Justice—”Best Friend’s Brother”
#93

I love the bridge, like the chorus, but could care less about the verses, which are standard, streamlined punk-pop. All the same, Nickelodeon is getting better at mining the Disney-pop model, and Justice, who has a co-writing credit, may be a real talent. Especially if she wrote that bridge.

Andy Grammer—”Keep Your Head Up”
#94

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 6/11/11

Rej3ctz—”Cat Daddy”
#97

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 4/23/11

Trace Adkins—”Just Fishin’”
#98

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/21/11

Hot 100 Roundup—6/11/11

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

Scotty McCreery—”I Love You This Big”
#11
Lauren Alaina—”Like My Mother Does”
#20

At first listen it seems as if the latest American Idol survivors have been granted better material than previous winners. But even though these songs are more specific in detail and less generic in overall tone, they’re still terrible, with lyrics that make you gasp in awe at their utter inanity. McCreery and Alaina make the best of it and deliver what they think is expected of them, but McCreery’s voice lacks seasoning—he needs experience: alcohol, sex, even more religion—while Alaina’s attempts to bend her song to her will result in a lot of growling and screaming and only make things worse. They’ll both do better. Whether either of them has the talent or brains to do much better is still an open question.

Glee Cast
“Light Up the World”, #33
“Pretending”, #40
“For Good”, #58
“I Love New York/New York, New York”, #81
“As Long As You’re There”, #93

Lady GaGa
“You and I”, #36
“Marry the Night”, #79

The pleasure I take in Born This Way is largely a matter of sonics and structure. That’s not a putdown. When you create something that for the most part is collage and pastiche, both musically and lyrically, sonics and structure are what make the difference between bland imitation and creating something new, and GaGa gets them right every single time. And then she boosts them. The drums and guitar on “You and I” may owe their inspiration to Queen, but they outstrip and outboom anything that band ever did, and the fact that they’re tied to a song that borrows from highway rock and roll and even country and western puts it in a league of its own. “Marry The Night”, meanwhile, is more Springsteen-inspired disco, with a coda beamed in from a mid-90s rave. I still have my doubts about her lyrics, which are often blander than they need to be, and I don’t think she’s making anything truly new out of her sources, but her merger of hard rock with disco diva anthems (which is what that ridiculous cover photo is all about, in case you were wondering) is wondrous, even if it ultimately doesn’t lead anywhere. Don’t think of it as something new, but as a well-earned celebration of a greatness we may have missed at the time.

Beyonce—”1+1″
#57

I have my doubts about Beyonce’s soul moves, especially her high notes and the dynamics that accompany them, but thematically this is a breakthrough, the first Beyonce song about a relationship I’ve heard in which she isn’t either asserting her iron-willed dominance or making like a supplicant to her godlike man. That see-sawing from one extreme to another was getting tiresome, and this is a welcome relief. I bet it’s a relief to Jay-Z, too.

Lil Wayne—”How To Love”
#69

I don’t think it’s the softness of sound that has caused so many people to write this song off. Sentimentality is as much a part of rap as any other kind of music, and if anyone has earned the right to a little mellow down time it’s Lil Wayne. What probably bothers hardcore rap fans more is the sense of empathy the song is based on. It isn’t really a love song, and it certainly isn’t a sex song. Instead, it’s a real attempt to understand where this woman is coming from and what she’s feeling, something more along the lines of Prince’s “I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man” (even though the situation appears to be completely different) than your standard lover man rap. In other words, thematically it’s as far from the mainstream of rap as Wayne’s phrasing and twisting trains of thought have always been. Like the pre-prison “I’m Single”, it’s a record by someone who’s trying to sort out the world in all it’s aspects, not just as it relates to his place, position, and pleasure. Musically, Wayne still isn’t sure what to make of these ideas, so he falls too readily into cliche, but if he should ever figure it out, or find a collaborator who has, then watch out: he may well remake rap yet again.

Reeve Carney featuring Bono & The Edge—”Rise Above 1″
#74

Not sure exactly what I expected a Broadway soundtrack written by Bono and The Edge to sound like, but I wasn’t expecting standard-issue U2, that’s for sure. Way to stretch your stylistic limits, guys. As for Reeve Carney, his Bono imitation is so exact I can only assume he thinks of Spiderman as a warm-up for that more lucrative U2 biopic that’s bound to appear sooner or later. Either that or he has a great future in tribute bands.

Mac Miller—”Donald Trump”
#80

The white version of Wiz Khalifa, or Waka Flocka Flame, or maybe even Big Sean. How did we stand the wait?

Kenny Chesney featuring Grace Potter—”You and Tequila”
#92

Strong, steady, and never overdone, this is as good as Chesney is ever going to get. With Grace Potter playing Emmylou Harris, he almost sounds human. There’s still something that doesn’t come across, though, and the stiff perfectionism of this record keeps it from classic territory. Damn close, though.

Rihanna—”Man Down”
#94

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 6/4/11

Lupe Fiasco featuring Trey Songz—”Out Of My Head”
#98

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 5/21/11

Bubbling Under 5/21/11

Saturday, May 28th, 2011

Zac Brown Band featuring Jimmy Buffett—”Knee Deep”
#104

Brown’s imitative powers are impressive, and I bet he worked his ass off getting this right, but this is the sort of knockoff Buffett could write in his sleep, and often does, no doubt. So it’s no surprise that Buffett himself sounds a little bored. Then again, maybe that’s just his way of including the bitter edges in his music that Brown leaves out. In his best songs, Buffett’s protagonists are lovable losers who have retired to the life of a beach bum because they’re incapable of functioning in the real world, and their sense of failure hangs over them even in paradise. Brown’s lyrics hint at this, but only because that’s part of every Buffett song and the homage wouldn’t be complete without it, and there’s no sign of it in the music. Buffett, with his slightly distant drawl, puts it back in, at least for one verse.

Trace Adkins—”Just Fishin’”
#116

Father/daughter bonding by the numbers, country style. In other words, sexist (he envisions no future for his daughter other than being chased by boys), condescending (he’s convinced that this moment will be one of her fondest memories without once considering how she might really feel about it), smug and proud to be. Family sentiment is one of the good things about country music, but this is an example of it at it’s worst.

Lupe Fiasco featuring Trey Songz—”Out of My Head”
#120

When Fiasco is concentrating, he can be a daring and original rapper. When he’s running on automatic he’s a skilled but derivative Kanye West clone, an enjoyable echo. This is Fiasco on automatic.

Kelly Price featuring Stokely—”Not My Daddy”
#122

I appreciate the message, but this is such a slavish imitation of The Stylistics, right down to the timbre of Price’s voice, that I find it hard to take seriously. Only at the end, when the producer starts deconstructing the beat, which adds a slightly modern stamp but nothing more, does it stray much from the original model. I don’t mind retro, but this sort of imitation doesn’t get anyone anywhere.

Rodney Atkins—”Take A Back Road”
#125

Even back roads get boring if you drive them too much, and the twists and turns here are far too familiar.

Lay It Down remix

Saturday, May 7th, 2011

Lloyd, who’s in the same position commercially as Trey Songz was a couple of years ago—good to great records, but no big hits—enlists the help of Polow Da Don and B.o.B. to beef up “Lay It Down”. Hope it works, though I wish it didn’t have to be done this way.

Hot 100 Roundup—2/6/11

Tuesday, February 8th, 2011

LMFAO featuring Lauren Bennett & GoonRock—”Party Rock Anthem”
#78

I have no idea who GoonRock are or is, but I’ll assume they’re responsible for the beat, which isn’t bad—a somewhat derivative mix of Pitbull and The Black Eyed Peas with some decent hiccups and hooks of their own thrown in. I have no idea who Lauren Bennett is, either, and her vocals are so ineffectual I doubt I ever will. Not as ineffectual as the supposed leaders of this romp, however. LMFAO aren’t the worst rappers in the world, but their voices are so lacking in distinction and personality they may as well not be on the track at all.

Rise Against—”Help Is On the Way”
#89

Though it’s nice to hear music about the recent travails of New Orleans and the gulf coast, this is not the sort of music that is going to make anybody think much about it or make them angry enough to do anything. The band provides all the anger and leaves no room for anyone else’s. The speed-metal bombast is ritualistic and meaningless. They make no attempt to tell a story; the lyrics are nothing but a batch of obvious and cliched images. Worst of all, their egos get in the way. Instead of ending the song where they should, with the shouts of “It never came!”, they insist on yet another full chorus, just to demonstrate their chops and remind you of how angry they are. Help like this nobody needs.

New Hollow—”Boyfriend”
#98

Catchy, though not always in the right places, and too loud, this is what power pop—which was always as much about beauty and incisiveness as it was about speed and wit—has come to. It sounds like they decided to pack all their good ideas (most of them stolen) into a single record, and I seriously doubt if they have more. Not horrible, but shapeless and lacking any kind of charm.

Trey Songz—”Love Faces”
#100

The problem with Trey Songz is that while he’s sometimes very good, he’s never great, and often his records are serviceable and nothing more. This is fine as background music, but it lacks anything that would make you want to listen closely—the smooth gentlemanliness of Ne-Yo, the musical originality of The-Dream, the batshit craziness of R. Kelly. It’s safe music for safe sex, and though there’s nothing wrong with that, in the end it gets dull.

Hot 100 Roundup—10/24/10

Friday, October 29th, 2010

Taylor Swift—”Back To December”
#6

The problem with most pop and country ballads isn’t that they’re slow and lugubrious (though they often are), but that they’re so damned predictable. You can see every turn in the melody and lyric (if there are any turns, which is another problem) coming before you’ve even gotten through the solemn piano intro. Not this one. Almost effortlessly, Swift generates the drama a good ballad is supposed to contain. She can pack more words into a line without sounding like she’s overdoing it than anyone in the business, and the melody, which bounces up and down like a heartbeat on the chorus, goes places no other country balladeer would ever consider. She constantly comes up with lyrical details that sound lived in rather than looked up, and unlike most of Swift’s previous records, the ending is ambiguous and avoids another fairy tale conclusion. Though how any man with sense could say no to her is beyond me.

Glee Cast
“Lucky”, #27
“River Deep, Mountain High”, #41
“Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy”, #48
“Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”, #50
“Sing!”, #87
“Le Jazz Hot”, #94

Nelly featuring T-Pain and Akon—”Move That Body”
#54

Since Nelly has already made his comeback I can’t call this “three attempted comebacks on a single record”, but that sure is what it sounds like. Nelly is all right, and Akon is Akon, but T-Pain has never sounded duller, auto-tuning the only thing that makes him identifiable. Live by the plug-in, die by the plug-in.

Sugarland—”Little Miss”
#80

Sugarland suffers from what I’ve always thought of as Jackson Browne Syndrome. Crafty, catchy, and intelligent as they obviously are, too often their music seems totally detached from their lyrics, and on a song like this, when the lyrics aren’t clear, it’s virtually impossible to discover what the damn thing is about. Feelings, I guess, nothing more than feelings.

Darius Rucker—”This”
#83

Another ordinary celebration of the ordinary from the king of same. Though it’s possible to admire his consistency, if it isn’t a rut it sure ain’t a groove.

Trace Adkins—This Ain’t No Love Song”
#100

Reviewed in Bubbling Under, 10/17/10

Bubbling Under:

T-Pain featuring Rick Ross—”Rap Song”
#103

It’s probably unfair to compare T-Pain to The-Dream—The-Dream is a kind of genius, whereas T-Pain is a guy who had one brilliantly inspired idea and whose inspiration is fading fast—but if I’m going to listen to a song about making love to other people’s music, I’ll stick to “Kelly’s 12 Play”. Aside from a clever, if somewhat aged, Kanye joke, and the tasteless suggestion of having sex to Straight Outta Compton, this contains nothing to distinguish it from a lot of other auto-tuned slow jams. And has Rick Ross ever sounded more out of place than he does here? Did they just lift his rap from another record and stick it in?

Lloyd—”Lay It Down”
#105

Lloyd’s made some strong records over the last couple of years, but unlike Trey Songz, who was in a similar position until he finally broke a few months ago, Lloyd hasn’t been as lucky on the charts. And now it sounds as if he’s getting desperate, because this song is seriously insane. Vocally it’s all over the place, crooning here, yelping there, auto-tuned and stretched like a rubber band in the chorus, and ending, God help us all, with yodeling. He sounds like he’s having a great time, but the rest of us are left scratching our heads. It gets your attention, but where exactly is this all supposed to end? And will anybody else be around when it does?

My Chemical Romance—”Only Hope For Me Is You”
#106

This is strong and catchy, but it goes on too long and gets dangerously close to Linkin Park territory. There’s such a thing as coming on too strong. Trust your sense of humor, guys, it hasn’t failed you yet.

The Black Keys—”Tighten Up”
#110

Danger Mouse’s production makes this more than just a late-’60s funk/rock homage, but not much more, and the vocals and lyrics take you right back to Grand Funk Railroad territory. And if there’s any band who’s reputation doesn’t need a positive reassessment, it’s Grand Funk Railroad. Queen was bad enough.

Big Time Rush—”Til I Forget About You”
#111

Catchier and more mature than their first single, but still nothing to get excited about, even if you’re thirteen. In fact, they may have matured just enough to put themselves into demographic limbo.

Hannah Montana featuring Iyaz—”Gonna Get This”
#112

Despite the credit to Hannah Montana rather than Miley Cyrus, this is not Disney pop. Disney pop doesn’t exist anymore. Partly this is because Disney pop has become more mature and up-to-date, but largely it’s because pop music itself has taken a giant step in the direction of Disney. There’s now no noticeable difference between the two. No doubt this was Disney’s plan all along, though it does make you wonder how they’ll distinguish any stars they try to create in the future from the mass. As for this record, it’s pretty good, nearly as good as anything Miley Cyrus has put out under her own name, though not as good as the best stuff she did as Hannah Montana. Since there’s no real difference between the two anymore, I suppose it’s as good a time as any to end it.