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Mediocrity is a Spongiform Virus from Outer Space: Hot 100 Roundup—4/6/13

Thursday, April 11th, 2013

The main symptoms of which are ennui and procrastination, hence the lateness of this. It isn’t just that mediocre records are hard to write about, though they are, but they drain whatever energy you have for writing, as well. And so far this has been a very mediocre year. There’s not a single record this week—and this is the biggest debut week so far, in terms of the number of records—that I have any strong feelings about. It’s been that way for three months now, which is why my Best of the Hot 100 playlist only has four songs on it (and one of those is over a year old). Even though it’s still early in the year, there’s little sign of it getting better. I wonder where the real action is?

will.i.am featuring Justin Bieber—“#thatPOWER”
#42

Since I’m expecting the usual will.i.am haters to raise a fuss about the lift from Daft Punk and the emptiness of Justin Bieber’s vocal, it’s probably a waste of time to mention that this is easily the best thing will.i.am has produced since The E.N.D., way back at the dawn of the EDM era he helped create. It’s nowhere near as good, partly because it’s a rehash, and partly because of Bieber, but just like The E.N.D. it’s better than most people will give him credit for. Me, I respect him for sticking to his electro guns, and just want to point out that Bieber sounds a lot more alive than Britney Spears did, though not as much as Fergie.

Justin Timberlake—“Pusher Love Girl”
#64

The news that Timberlake’s 20/20 Experience is essentially a contractual obligation album—though for a performance contract rather than the usual recording contract—explains a lot. The length of the songs, for one thing (just like “Mirrors”, “Pusher Love” runs over eight minutes): when you need to put an album together in a hurry, there’s nothing like extended breakdowns, intros, and codas to make it look like you’re giving your audience their money’s worth. It also explains the relative shallowness of the lyrics, and occasionally the music. No doubt Timbaland has a ton of beats and backing tracks piled up on his hard drives, but lyrics, and even lyrical themes, can be harder to come by. “Pusher Love” could almost be a case in point. It features a lengthy and unnecessary orchestral intro, an even lengthier and perhaps even less necessary breakdown and coda, and, in between all that, a B+ level beat and lyrics that add nothing. All the same, this is the best track from 20/20 to hit the charts so far, and a decent radio edit could work wonders. It’s good enough, in fact, to make you wonder why it wasn’t released as the first single instead of “Suit & Tie”. I assume it had something to do with branding the upcoming tour, and maybe to lower expectations for a project Timberlake doesn’t have much of his heart invested in. The question is how much respect he’s willing to lose. He’s certainly lost a lot of mine.

Tyga featuring Cedric Gervais, Wiz Khalifa & Mally Mall—“Molly”
#66

Sometimes I like Tyga, sometimes I hate him, this time I don’t care.

Lil Wayne featuring 2 Chainz—“Rich As Fuck”
#78

A couple of lines suggest that Wayne may have some brain cells left, but then it winds down into the usual rap misogyny, which used to be unusual for Wayne. The beat’s dull, too.

J Dash—“Wop”
#82

“Another J. Dash production!” Are we supposed to have remembered the last one? I don’t. Though it’s harder to create a one-word hook than it might seem, it isn’t that hard. Besides, Dash doesn’t put anything worth hearing between the hooks. I thank him, though, for reminding me of The Coasters “Turtle Dovin’”. I wonder if Dash has heard it.

Zedd featuring Foxes—“Clarity”
#86

Another small step in the direction of turning EDM into just another form of pop music, as opposed to a revitalization. This has it’s moments, but the music is so loud that the vocals get stretched out of any recognizable emotional range in compensation, which the music, ironically enough, isn’t full enough to hide.

Jake Owen—“Anywhere With You”
#92

For some reason I keep confusing Jake Owen with Luke Bryan, which is unfair to Bryan, who has some brains and is willing to experiment. Owen’s a hack, but country radio must love him because he’s managed to milk Barefoot Blue Jean Night for over a year now, even though each single has been duller than the one before it. Maybe it’s because he’s so willing to pander: the opening line may be the most egregious and ridiculous example I’ve ever heard.

Kip Moore—“Hey Pretty Girl”
#97

Eric Church may use Bruce Springsteen as a symbol of romantic nostalgia, but Moore goes a step further: from his cover pose in a leather jacket, Fender in hand, to the careful, repetitive folk plainness of his style, it’s obvious Moore wants to be Springsteen. That he fails isn’t a surprise, but it’s also for reasons you might not expect. “Hey Pretty Girl” goes on too long and repeats itself too much, but that’s the least of Moore’s problems. The big issue is his inability to break out of the country straitjacket, which forces him to pay the usual lyrical homages to family and motherhood and true love, even though the music is speaking Springsteen’s language of thwarted dreams and diminished hopes. If he wants to be Springsteen, or even get close, Moore is going to need to go all the way. Either that or try something else.

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How Does One Diffie, Exactly? Hot 100 Roundup—3/30/13

Friday, March 29th, 2013

French Montana featuring Nicki Minaj—“Freaks”
#77

As a rapper, French Montana is negligible, but he sure knows how to pick hooks and choose guests. Nicki Minaj is perfect here, even if you can’t understand half of what she says. Since she not only plays the freak, but goes freak hunting at the same time, she can serve as both a sexual object and a role model (though I have no idea who could possibly follow the pattern she’s set), and blows Montana’s more generic rap sexism away with a giggle and a shout. There’s a reason this is officially Montana’s record, though. His chorus holds the track, which would otherwise be pulled apart by its eccentricities, together.

The Band Perry—“DONE.”
#87

It would seem that the lighter, dreamier, romantic version of The Band Perry, (that is, the one that made their first album) is already history. “Better Dig Two” traded in obsession and psychosis, and now comes “DONE.” (yes, all caps and a period; never say these folks aren’t up-to-date), a break-up song with teeth. The bite isn’t just in the lyrics, either; the music is tougher than anything they’ve done before, but never falls into the pseudo-metal that mars a lot of country music. For that you can thank Kimberly Perry’s power-pop-loving brothers, Reid and Neil, who did the bulk of the writing. In other words, not a one woman show by a long shot. They may be around a lot longer than people thought.

DJ Drama featuring Wale, Tyga & Roscoe Dash—“So Many Girls”
#90

If I had to choose between screaming DJs, I’d choose Drama. He screams less than Khaled, for one thing, and his beats show a lot more variety and subtlety. Khaled scores bigger and better rappers, though, and every once in a while his guests make all the shouting and bombast worthwhile. On “So Many Girls” the raps drag an impressive track down with generic, mindless boasting. Maybe Drama should try releasing unfinished instrumentals. It worked for Baauer.

Jason Aldean—“1994”
#93

This is so goofy that it goes a long way towards making me think Aldean is an actual human being, as opposed to a country cliche machine. How can you help enjoying a song that, instead of paying obeisance to Hank or Johnny or Waylon, serves up some respect to Joe Diffie? This doesn’t make Aldean a genius, of course: he should never be allowed to rap again, or even say hip-hop. I do like the line “teach us how to Diffie”, though, even if it is a little late in the day for dougie jokes.

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Middling Ground: Hot 100 Roundup—2/9/13

Thursday, February 7th, 2013

One of those weeks where nothing is great, but nothing is horrible, either. That doesn’t mean it’s all mediocre, just that the good stuff is rarely more than that, and the bad stuff doesn’t make you feel nauseous. It all congregates near the middle of the probability curve, just the way it’s supposed to. It’s not exciting, but it’s the way it is.

Tyga featuring Rick Ross—“Dope”
#68

There are so many excellent beats out there, and so few excellent rappers. Tyga is fine, though he relies on crudity more than he needs to and references too many other rappers to make himself look cool. Rick Ross just sounds tired. Which leaves us with that ominous beat. It’s a great beat, to be sure, but I don’t think it’s enough.

Miranda Lambert—“Mama’s Broken Heart”
#89

One of the best tracks from 4 the Record, with an intro that, surprisingly, brings the sound of dub, or at least the punk rock version, into country. Co-written by Kacey Musgraves (“Merry Go-Round”) and a couple of other people who aren’t Lambert but are following her blueprint, “Mama’s Broken Heart” is good, but it’s not Lambert-level good. If she’s going to set up her own songwriting workshop to provide her with material Lambert couldn’t do better than Musgraves, but it’s still going to sound secondhand if all her writers do is copy what she’s done before. Lambert’s found her sound and now, aside from the Pistol Annies, she’s playing it safe. She’d be better off stepping a little further afield.

Kid Ink featuring Meek Mill & Wale—“Bad Ass”
#90

The beat is insane, but only Meek Mill makes the most of it, with a rap that, rhythmically at least, is almost as crazy. Wale, as usual, sounds lost. As for Kid Ink, I assume he got his name from his tattoos, not his writing skills. I’d love to hear some better rappers freestyle over this, though.

Florida Georgia Line—“Get Your Shine On”
#96

“Cruise”, which is still in the top forty, has a rough energy that wipes away its weaknesses and clichés. This is smoother, less energetic, and all cliché. I hope they’ll be able to figure out why this won’t be as big a hit as “Cruise”, but I wouldn’t count on it. That kind of thing rarely happens on purpose, and is generally impossible to recreate.

Chris Cagle—“Let There Be Cowgirls”
#97

I like the conceit of this, especially the detail of the angels demanding God make cowgirls and that they be “strong as any man”, but it’s really just an excuse for Cagle to turn up the mediocre hair metal. The result, witty though it sometimes is, is sludgy and dull by the end. It has its moments, like the whistle that interrupts the final riff, but those aren’t enough to save it. And the second verse makes it sound like Cagle could have another career writing Harlequin Romances.

Pitbull featuring Christina Aguilera—“Feel This Moment”
#99

Pitbull not only isn’t ashamed of his commercial aspirations and how foolish he’s willing to act to achieve them, he’s proud. It’s taken him a long time to learn how to build a record that will appeal to every possible fan base, and he intends to take advantage of that knowledge, even if it means lifting one of the most recognizable and obvious hooks of the last thirty years to do it. His last three singles have seemed random in approach, but who knows, maybe there’s some strange plan behind them. So far he’s sampled Mickey and Sylvia, Toots and the Maytals, and now a-ha. How many different demographics can you capture that way? Is Glenn Miller next? Plan or not, though, it doesn’t seem to be working. None of Pitbull’s recent singles has made top ten, and the latest debuting at 99 isn’t a hopeful sign. Maybe that’s why Christina Aguilera’s chorus is about death. Talk about covering all your demographic bases.

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Here Comes the Stampede
Hot 100 Roundup—10/5/12

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

As we ease, or force, our way into October, the release schedule continues to ramp up, and probably won’t ease off until Thanksgiving. It would be easier to be happy about this if the music were better. This week is a mixed bag, not just between different tracks but on the records themselves (nothing has exhilarated and disappointed me at the same time as much as the new P!nk single). Next week is more promising. Maybe I’ll feel better about rap by then.

Christina Aguilera—“Your Body”
#34

Aguilera still oversings, and her love of meaningless bombast is undiminished, but “Your Body” is easily her best record since 2006. She sounds on top of things again, and her voice, which has deepened and toughened with the years, makes up for a lot of the oversinging. It’s also worth mentioning that she was onto EDM back in 2008, and though all the records she released in the style up until this one tanked, she was ahead of the curve. So far ahead, in fact, that now she’s behind. I have strong doubts about the message of this song, though. I have nothing against celebrations of sexual pleasure by women in the their mid-thirties, but the cougar-on-the-prowl idea has been overworked, the song lacks sensuality, and Aguilera’s sexual aggressiveness sounds forced and unpleasant.

P!nk—“Try”
#56

The verses on “Try” are so beautiful that there’s a palpable let down when the track devolves into yet another of P!nk’s motivational choruses. Up until then, this is almost a textbook example of how experimental influences can be folded into pop music to create something both stunning and comfortably familiar. It’s one of the things pop is best at, but P!nk makes the mistake of not trusting her instincts and falling back on old ideas. In commercial terms, it will probably work, because no one else is better at this sort of thing, but “Try” could have been much more.

Swedish House Mafia featuring John Martin—“Don’t You Worry Child”
#68

Have you ever wondered what Coldplay would sound like if they went the EDM route? Wonder no more.

Kanye West, R. Kelly—“To the World”
#70

The beat is excellent, as always, and West politely gives R. Kelly the floor, limiting himself to a few of his usual boasts, allowing Kelly enough room to flip off the entire world. My only question: who gives a fuck? The level of willful self-delusion and fallacy on this record is unbelievable. Kelly talks like his inability to break a pop record anymore is all about his artistic principle and his determination to go his own way. But of course it isn’t. The quality of his music is as high as it ever was, and even flights of ridiculous fancy like the endless Trapped In the Closet wouldn’t put people off of him in large numbers if there weren’t other things to consider, like the fact that he videotaped himself peeing on a fourteen-year-old girl. Face it, Mr. Kelly, you are never going to live that down, and it has nothing to do with your talent or your artistic principle. Shut up. As for West, I await the day when he stops bragging about how rich he’s become and what a great artist he is and starts making some real art again. Besides, I don’t trust anyone who labels himself a tastemaker while foisting Big Sean on the world. That may be the greatest fuck you of them all.

Game featuring Chris Brown, Tyga, Wiz Khalifa & Lil Wayne—“Celebration”
#82

At a certain point the quality of the beats, the flow, even the words, no longer matters. Just like country singers and their pickup trucks, I don’t care if I hear another rapper bragging about the high life ever again. There are always exceptions, of course, but this isn’t one of them. In its own way, “Celebration” is as soft and self-satisfied as a Jimmy Buffett record, only nowhere near as smart, and without a hint of irony.

Carly Rae Jepsen featuring Justin Bieber—“Beautiful”
#87

Kiss is such a kaleidescope of pop styles that even an obvious Colbie Caillat/Jason Mraz imitation like “Beautiful” fits right in. It helps that it’s better than its influences in almost every way, and that Beiber sings as well as he ever has. The style is perfect for him (it should be, he wrote it), though I’m not sure it fits Jepsen as well as it might. Still, “Beautiful” is a good deal better than her pairing with Owl City.

Usher—“Numb”
#97

Usher deserves credit for absorbing modern dance music into his style, but I’m beginning to wonder if he’s been paying as much attention to modern R&B. After Frank Ocean’s “Novocane” it’s hard to believe anyone would use the term numb as a symbol of personal liberation or sexual exploration. As far as Usher is concerned, though, you can’t really feel until you can’t feel your face, or something like that. He may just mean letting yourself be taken over by the music, but even then numb is the wrong word, especially on a record that drives as hard as this one. There are times when I think Usher doesn’t even know, or care, what he’s singing about, a major flaw when you consider your vocals as important as your beats. In the clubs no one is going to care, and the Swedish House Mafia beat is better than just about any David Guetta or Calvin Harris track you care to name, but the disconnect is still puzzling.

Kip Moore—“Beer Money”
#99

Since country is embracing Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty these days, I suppose it makes sense to include John Mellencamp as well. But unless you’re imitating Mellencamp at his most inspired, all you’ll come up with is insipid pseudo-rock like this. The lyrics are clever in spots, and Moore’s last single, “Somethin’ ‘Bout a Truck” was far better, so I’m not giving up on him completely, but he might want to aim his sights a little higher.

Greg Bates—“Did It For the Girl”
#100

Love the intro, but it’s stolen from Smokey Robinson, and after that “I Did It For the Girl” turns ordinary fast. If you’re going to steal from the best, you may as well keep going. And a country version of “You Really Got A Hold On Me” could sound pretty good.

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Half Full
Hot 100 Roundup—6/23/12

Thursday, June 21st, 2012

Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris—“All Around the World”
#22
You knew the Eurodisco was coming, right? But this is better than expected, with a great beat and all sorts of nice touches (love those live-sounding drum fills). Bieber’s singing continues to be a pleasant surprise, despite his occasional lapses into Chris Brown-style slurring. The inclusion of Ludacris, however, is a major stumble. When was the last time Ludacris contributed anything worthwhile to a track? I honestly can’t remember, and this is even worse than usual.

Lil Wayne featuring Big Sean—“My Homies Still”
#38
The beat isn’t as stunning as, say, “A Milli” or “Lollipop”, but at least it’s in the same ballpark, and suggests that Wayne is coming out of his post-prison funk. His raps aren’t brilliant, but he sounds like he has his energy back, even if he admits that he’s stepping aside from the game (at least the illegal parts of it). What I want to know is if he really spends his spare time skateboarding and listening to Rebirth?

Little Big Town—“Pontoon”
#51
It’s hard not to think of this as the country version of “Call Me Maybe”, a song so happy and infectious that attempting to resist it would cause a minor seizure. Though it never mentions the subject, it’s also about as sexy as country ever gets, with its deep, gently swelling groove and slide guitar creating a simmering heat. Like too many country records, there’s a certain smugness in its craftsmanship, and the sound could be looser to go with the light lyrical content, but otherwise it’s perfect.

Waka Flocka Flame featuring Nicki Minaj, Tyga & Flo Rida—“Get Low”
#72
This is built around one of the best hooks Flo Rida has come up with (which, whether you hate him or not, is saying something), but I have to admit that much of its appeal for me is based on what isn’t on it. No Flo Rida raps about rough sex and blow jobs, for one thing; Waka Flock Flame not yelling another. Nicki Minaj contributes nothing special, and the same goes for Tyga. But they probably felt that they didn’t need to; the hook carries the record along so well you barely notice the paltriness of everything else.

The Lumineers—“Ho Hey”
#90
Try to imagine a combination of .fun and Mumford and Sons. No, no, stop. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.

Imagine Dragons—“It’s Time”
#93
It would be unfair to label Imagine Dragons as merely fun. imitators. Most likely they were making this sort of record anyway, and are being seized on and promoted by the record company in an attempt to cash in. You can’t blame the band for that. But that doesn’t mean this is any good, or that if “We Are Young” didn’t exist anybody would pay attention to them. This sounds like fun. might if they were fans of Kings of Leon. The total lack of emotional confusion and/or subtlety in the lyric doesn’t help any, either.

The Black Keys—“Gold On the Ceiling”
#97
Boogie.

Thompson Square—“Glass”
#100
The worst kind of country acoustic balladry, based on an extended metaphor that might have worked if they hadn’t tried to get too much out of it or if they hadn’t tried to change it up in the last verse: they’re not just glass, but oil and water and gasoline too. That inconsistency might not have mattered, though, if the arrangement and singing weren’t filled through and through with sap. Oddly enough, that makes it even easier to see through them.

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The Boss and The Beebs
Hot 100 Roundup—3/17/12

Monday, March 26th, 2012

Far*East Movement featuring Justin Bieber—“Live My Life”
#21
Bieber’s involvement in this record may be the main selling point to millions of teenagers, but his presence is a distraction. For that matter, so is Far*East Movement’s. It’s not that any of them are bad vocalists, or that they don’t do a perfectly decent job here (I love the change-ups in vocal timbre throughout the record), but I just want to listen to that groove and ignore the rest. It’s so subdued in its way that I was surprised to find it’s a Redone production; I thought it must be The Cataracs. Maybe he’s gotten over his garishness. More records like this and I may start to like him.

Nicki Minaj featuring Lil Wayne—“Roman Reloaded”
#70
This record depresses me. Not because it’s the third or fourth Minaj track in a row to be less than stunning—if anything, thanks mostly to Lil Wayne, it’s better than some of the others. It depresses me because of the example it sets, and the new rap paradigm it’s reinforcing. By bragging about her endorsement deals, Minaj is setting up a new standard for success, one based not only on skills or popularity, but also on a rapper’s willingness to be a corporate shill. No doubt she and Lil Wayne (who has the good sense here to brag about his sexual prowess, not Mountain Dew) think of this as buying in, not selling out, but it’s a diminishment anyway—maybe not of Minaj’s skills as yet, but of the audience’s trust in her. I know that every time I see her now I’ll be asking myself what she’s trying to sell me besides her music, and that expectation, which bounces back and forth between the audience and the performer, eventually will diminish her as an artist, as expectations and trust on both sides drop. I hope I’m wrong, but I can’t see this leading anywhere else.

Eric Church—“Springsteen”
#79
I’ve always been a fan of Church, what he sometimes lacks in inspiration he makes up in energy, intelligence, and principal—he may not always know what to do, but he always knows what not to do. This, I think is something of a breakthrough, not just because it’s a great song with an unusual subject (or at least an unusual way of presenting it), but because the sheer craftsmanship involved suggests that Church is capable of even more than he’s done so far. It’s a little stiff in spots, but so what? So is Springsteen. The groove is wonderful, and the emotion overwhelms what at first might seem like a ridiculous, over-sentimental concept. And I love the way he echoes Springsteen without ever directly imitating him. A near perfect record.

Travis Porter featuring Tyga—“Ayy Ladies”
#88
I like these guys, and I especially like their producer. This has a great beat, but their raps were more interesting on their earlier records, and they seem to be settling into a strip club groove that will soon become a rut. As broke, horny guys roaming the streets they were at least funny; now they sound exhausted and too experienced for their own good.

LoveRance featuring 50 Cent—“Up!”
#92
50 still sounds like he enjoys sex as sex, and not just as power, but he appears to be ambivalent about rapping. He slurs so much and speeds so quickly through his bars you’d swear he couldn’t wait to get out of the studio. With company like this, who can blame him?

Future featuring T.I.—“Magic”
#94
The only part of this I like is when Future talks about his accountant having the magic to make his taxes go away. Otherwise, despite Future’s flow in spots, this is ordinary. And what’s happened to T.I.? He’s the dullest thing on here.

Estelle—“Thank You”
#100
Estelle is a true talent, but this is not a good record. The fact that’s it’s such an obvious rip of Sade is one problem, the basic theme another. Thank you for making me a woman? Really? It’s all very stylish and well-polished, but it also sounds uninspired and several steps less than brilliant. She’s trying too hard to be perfect and not letting her real self out.

Listen on Spotify

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The Great, the Bad, and the Vaguely
Hot 100 Roundup—3/10/12

Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

B.o.B.—“So Good”
#11
One thing you can say about Bruno Mars, when he writes made-to-order hooks for other people’s records they at least have some emotional edge to them, which is more than Ryan Tedder, who’s responsible for this one, has ever managed. This is the worst sort of processed cheese, slimy and sticky and totally lacking in flavor. As for B.o.B., he’s obviously hoping to re-elevate himself to the pop plateau Mars placed him on two years ago. I assume Mars himself wasn’t available. I have a feeling Ryan Tedder is always available—for a price, that is.

Carrie Underwood—“Good Girl”
#24
I appreciate Underwood’s willingness, even desire, to rock out, but this jumble of clichés isn’t the best way to go about it. For one thing, she needs to settle on a single rock style; this jumps from Joan Jett to hair metal to glam without ever settling down long enough to plant its feet on the ground (or the stage). Plus, like too many of Underwood’s records, both the rockers and the ballads, it sounds mechanical—even when she gets loose everything seems to be carefully planned. It’s weird to think that right now the best country singer to come off American Idol is Kellie Pickler: any song you could choose from 100 Proof is better than this one.

Carly Rae Jepsen—“Call Me Maybe”
#38
Since Jepsen is twenty-six this isn’t technically tween pop, but it shares all the virtues of the genre and then some. It’s bright and bouncy, with a gorgeous and striking arrangement, but with enough of a self-possessed edge to make it hit home in ways you don’t expect. Not enough is made of how strong girls are in tween pop—even when they’re crushing over some boy they maintain their sense of dignity and self; in fact, one of the virtues they see in boys is the possibility of using them to increase their own strength and worth—not in the trophy sense, but in the sense of a real partnership. It’s a far more mature point of view than you find in most pop written for people in their twenties, which is why it has always seemed ironic that radio programmers think of tween pop as kiddie music. Jepsen may change that, because what she adds to the usual mix is sex. “Where you think you’re going, baby?” is one of the sultriest lines of the year, and the ambiguity as to who’s saying it, Jepsen or the boy she’s infatuated with, only makes it hotter. A great record.

Glee Cast
“Fly/I Believe I Can Fly”, #56
“Cough Syrup”, #65
“What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)”, #66
“Here’s To Us”, #73
“Glad You Came”, #90

fun.—“Some Nights”
#62
I’m still not entirely sure what to make of this record, but it’s growing on me. Stylistically it’s a jumble: country-folk harmonies on the intro, then Brazilian drums, with subtle touches of auto-tune and other electronics, and lyrics that are half chant and half Paul Simon-like confessional, covering a lot of uneven and difficult to navigate emotional ground. They do work one neat trick: the song starts as a generic complaint about a directionless life and then progressively adds more and more personal detail, as if the singer were realizing the roots and depths of his feelings as he goes along, and ends with what sounds like a breakup—whether from a lover, a city, or an entire life, is hard to tell. I suspect the jumble is intentional, and meant to lead somewhere, but they haven’t quite figured out how to do that, even if they do know where they’re going. Allowing the generic parts to overwhelm the personal stuff is a big mistake, and sometimes the connections they hope to make aren’t there. Promising, for sure, but I’ll withhold judgment for now.

Rihanna featuring Chris Brown—“Birthday Cake”
#63
Despite all the controversy over Chris Brown’s appearance on this record, the only real reason to listen to it is The-Dream, who creates a track that’s far dirtier than any of the lyrics and has more personality than either of the principals. One question, though: is that Robyn singing the bridge, or Rihanna imitating her? Uncanny, either way.

Tyga
“Muthafucka Up” (featuring Nicki Minaj), #74
“Make It Nasty”, #91
“Mothafucka Up” has a great beat, and Tyga makes the most of it, chopping up the rhythm on one line, riding it for all it’s worth on another. He may not have much to say, but he has the flow down. Minaj, meanwhile, plays it safe rhythmically and lyrically and contributes nothing special. Even with that let down it’s still far better than what Tyga delivers by himself on “Make It Nasty”, which is filler from beginning to end.

Usher—“Climax”
#81
I’ve never been much of an Usher fan, but thanks to Diplo this is as stunning as everybody says it is, a mix of lust, regret, self-realization and despair built on the most minimal of grooves. What’s most impressive is that even though the sound is open and spacious, the overall effect is one of claustrophobia, with electronic buzzes servings as symbols of the singer’s darkest and most despairing thoughts as they surround him. Best touch: the disembodied, wordless vocals that are sampled and dropped seemingly at random throughout the track, like some long-hidden pain suddenly rising to the surface.

Jason Aldean—“Fly Over States”
#92
As someone who has “drove through Indiana”, I can appreciate Aldean’s point of view, but once again the defensiveness of rural pride becomes a stumbling block. Or maybe I should say offensiveness, since the catalog of rural charms always seems to be used to attack shallow urbanites for their lack of appreciation of things like farmers (someone should write a study of how farming has become a self-sacrificing, patriotic act in the southern imagination while remaining a corporate monstrosity in reality), “water color” sunsets (which can be found anywhere) and girls from Amarillo (who can also be found anywhere, especially on the coasts, because they can’t wait to get out of Texas). Aldean doesn’t milk this as much as Montgomery Gentry and others, at least not lyrically, but since he’s a master of musical overkill the effect is much the same. It’s still chauvinism turning towards bigotry, no matter how you play it.

Young the Giant—“Cough Syrup”
#95
I suspect something “important” is being said here, but the lyrics and music are so generic and vague that it’s hard to get a bead on—something about the state of the world or generational apathy or personal ambivalence or something. The biggest problem is that I can’t tell whether the cough syrup reference is about needing a cure for the world’s ills or the desire to narcotize oneself into oblivion. The most confusing point is the line about “one more spoon of cough syrup now, oh whoa oh”. Do syrup addicts use spoons? I always thought they swigged straight from the bottle. And isn’t cough syrup designed to treat symptoms, not the actual illness? What good is that? Do these guys even know what their metaphors mean?

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Second Tier or Below
Hot 100 Roundup, 2/25/12

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

Meek Mill featuring T.I., Birdman, Lil Wayne, D.J. Khaled, Rick Ross & Swizz Beats—“Ima Boss”
#51
His brief change in style having flopped, at least when compared to his earlier singles, DJ Khaled goes back to the bank on this remix, providing big bragging beats for big bragging rappers. Nobody says anything important, but the energy level is surprisingly high. Usually when a producer returns to a style he’d hoped to move beyond, the intensity drops. If anything, this is even more energetic than Khaled’s earlier hits. It sounds like a homecoming. Maybe he changed his style out of a sense of duty, not desire.

Lindsey Pavao—“Say Aah”
#80

Glee Cast featuring Ricky Martin
“Sexy and I Know It”, #81
“La Isla Bonita”, #99

Kip Moore—“Somethin’ ‘Bout a Truck”
#89
This is based on the usual country clichés about trucks and beer and women and skinny dipping, but Moore manages to create a good record by keeping things as simple as possible: no fancy bridges or middle eights, a tune that’s immediately familiar and easy to hum, and lyrics that never get fancy or stretch some ridiculous rustic metaphor to the breaking point. The arrangement could be less bombastic, but that’s a common problem with a lot of country rock these days, and hardly Moore’s fault.

Calvin Harris—“Feel So Close”
#90
Harris is less bombastic than David Guetta or Levels or just about any other dance-pop producer right now, but that doesn’t make him any better. His subtlety doesn’t have any actual idea behind it; it’s just the way he prefers to approach things. It does make for a more dynamic listen, I’ll admit, but unfortunately during the quiet bits you have to listen to Harris sing, which isn’t a dynamic experience at all.

Kirko Bangz—“Drank In My Cup”
#96
A Drake sound-alike without the self-doubt or the well-meaning sexist condescension—that is, without any of the things that make Drake more than just another rapper on the make. The beat’s good, but it’s a Drake imitation, as well . Except for the intro, that is, which is lifted, uncredited, from Cream. Somehow I can’t see Drake doing something like that, either.

YG featuring Tyga, Snoop Dogg & Nipsey Hussle—“Snitchs Ain’t…”
#100
With women running the top ten, it shouldn’t be a surprise to find the return of good old rap misogyny down at the bottom of the chart. I would say that’s where it deserves to be, except that it doesn’t deserve to be on the chart at all. At least the first verse shows some humor in its putdowns; the rest is catchy and dumb in the worst way.

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100 Roundup—2/4/12

Friday, February 17th, 2012

Glee Cast
“Without You”, #28
“We Found Love”, #56
“Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin’ Jack Flash”, #62
“The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face”, #70
“Summer Nights”, #88

Tyga—“Faded”
#52
Dirty, dirty boys with lots of dirty thoughts, but not much imagination. Lil Wayne gets off some decent puns, including a bizarre non sequitur that cleverly drags Richard Pryor into the scenario, but Tyga is all flow and no brains.

Mary J. Blige featuing Drake—“Mr. Wrong”
#98
Blige is in as good of voice as ever, and Drake makes sure he doesn’t get in the way as he castigates himself for working too hard, but this is only ordinary even at its most adventurous (i.e. a breakdown that tries to be a slow, soulful version of dubstep—it doesn’t quite work). I don’t think Blige feels this kind of song anymore; her life is too good to be able to access that sort of drama.

George Strait—“Love’s Gonna Make It Alright”
#99
This is Strait on autopilot. Not terrible, but nothing special.

Jay-Z and Kanye West featuring Frank Ocean—“No Church in the Wild”
#100
The opening cut of Watch the Throne, and one of the best, this lays out the basic theme of the album with one of the most daring and intellectual rap brags I’ve ever heard, using Plato’s allegory of the cave to suggest that West and Jay-Z live in a place without illusion (unlike the rest of us suckers), where the only law is that of talent, power, and wealth, and the normal rules of morality don’t apply—desire, and the means to fulfill that desire, are all that matters. West’s reference is oblique (“Human beings in a mine”) and hard to sort out at first, but Jay-Z directly name-checks Socrates and Plato. The obvious suggestion is that the two of them are somewhere beyond the common lot of humanity; not quite gods, but powerful enough that they can ignore whatever gods may exist, or choose not to believe in them at all. And here I used to think Scarface references were grandiose.

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Hot 100 Roundup—12/10/11

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

Rihanna
“Talk That Talk” (featuring Jay-Z), #31
“Where Have You Been”, #65
Dance music isn’t designed to stick in your memory, and I have the same problem with these that I have with the last couple of Rihanna’s records: I enjoy them when I hear them, but then forget all about them after. She’s so perfect for this sort of music, her slightly unreal buzz of a voice mixing seamlessly with the synths, that I barely notice a word she says, much less remember any afterwords (the same can’t be said of Jay-Z, though, who sounds newly energized, even if he doesn’t say anything special). She still doesn’t have any real personality on record other than sexy tough gal, and these tracks add nothing to that other than a few more hooks.

will.i.am featuring Mick Jagger & Jennifer Lopez—”T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)”
#36
It takes a certain amount of courage to rap “Oh my goodness/This beat is so hard” when, at the moment at least, there is no beat. And it takes a certain patronizing, disrespectful commercial instinct to end a guest spot by Mick Jagger with a musical quote from “Satisfaction”. Or to put the anonymous Jenifer Lopez on a track at all. With The Black Eyed Peas going on hiatus I thought will.i.am might take some time off to generate new ideas. Turns out he just wanted to milk the old ones without the other three in his way. And let’s face it: Mick Jagger sounds old, old, old.

Chris Brown featuring Kevin McCall—”Strip”
#85
Another step into the past for Brown. This sounds like something he would have recorded five years ago, if the then 16 year-old had been allowed to sing about strip clubs. Is he making up for lost opportunity or something? Or is he just totally out of ideas? He never had many.

Nickelback—”Lullaby”
#89
Not good, but again their subject matter surprises me. This could well serve as their contribution to the It Gets Better Project. Wonder what made them suddenly grow a conscious. Too bad they couldn’t have grown some musical ideas at the same time.

Tyga—”Rack City”
#94
The hook is strong enough to stick in your head whether you want it to or not, and the sparse beat is catchy in its own way, as well. Still not sure whether it’s about actual pimping or just, you know know, pimpin’. I’m not even sure which I would consider worse.

Outasight—”Tonight Is the Night”
#96
Straight from a Pepsi commercial to the charts. It’s not as bad as that makes it sound—I like the high energy touches—but it sure wouldn’t be on the charts otherwise.

Mana featuring Prince Royce—”El Verdadero Amor Perdona”
#100
I don’t know enough about Latin to identify all the cliches, but to my ears this is full of them. It sounds romantic in all the right ways, though, and the way the music and vocals shift mood from line to line is impressive. It just doesn’t sound very original.

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