Posts Tagged ‘Usher’

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New this week—5/23/10

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg—”California Gurls”
#2
Unlike some, I’m offended by neither the title nor the spelling, both of which are representatives of a culture that has long since lost it’s power and has already been replaced. Problem is, this is too stodgy and tasteful to make the cut. It must be odd for Perry to realize that in less than two years her place as leading female provocateur has been usurped two or three times over. Melting popsicles isn’t going to cut it anymore. As for Snoop, his investment in ultimate cool is no longer paying dividends, and he sounds as if he knows it.

Glee Cast
“Jessie’s Girl”, #23
“One”, #60
“The Boy Is Mine”, #76
“Lady Is A Tramp”, #81
“Rose’s Turn”, #93
The closer the Glee Cast gets to contemporary music, I thought, the better they should sound. Having grown up with it, they’re bound to have a better idea of how it should be sung. And sure enough, “Jessie’s Girl” and “The Boy Is Mine” both sound like the vocalists actually know what their singing about, while “Lady Is a Tramp” is as horrible as you might imagine. “One” doesn’t work, but more because of the lame arrangement than the singing (it’s ridiculous to complain about oversinging on a U2 song; that’s what they’re for). Broadway, however, will always win out with these guys; it’s what they’re trained for, and “Rose’s Turn” is easily the best of this week’s batch. Not that that’s saying much.

Charice featuring Iyaz—”Pyramid”
#56
I could say that this is a major step up from Charice’s first single, but since “Note To God” was the worst record of last year not made by the Glee Cast, anything would be an improvement. Even generic pap like this.

Lil Wayne—”I’m Single”
#82
Since he’s currently in prison, it makes sense that Lil Wayne’s best single since “A Milli” should be layered with ever deeper levels of guilt and remorse, even if a weapons rap isn’t quite as guilt inducing as the infidelity documented here. The way Wayne twists the usual rap pornography, and even his now patented giggle, into something regretful and forlorn is beyond anything he’s done before, and I can’t think of a single record of his in which the emotions are so basic and so bare. Just like T.I., facing a year in the slammer seems to have focused Lil Wayne in ways he hadn’t anticipated. Unlike T.I., Wayne is a genius, and he goes far beyond T.I.’s bragging about how strong he’ll be when his time in jail is over. Wayne may be stronger when he gets out, as well, but he may also be someone totally different. I just hope he doesn’t get religion.

Enrique Iglesias featuring Pitbull—”I Like It”
#89
Another former superstar enlists the help of a hotter, more contemporary talent to boost his career, and ends up in support of his supposed guest. Pitbull is on a roll right now, and this has it’s moments, but just like Usher’s “OMG”, shaping a guest’s trademark sound to the star’s requirements results in something bloated and off-kilter. A vast improvement over “Do You Know? (The Ping Pong Song)”, but what wouldn’t be?

Justin Bieber—”Somebody To Love”
#98
For what it’s worth, this is Bieber’s best record. Which is only to say that it’s passable. Now he’s sixteen, Bieber’s Chris Brown imitation has a little more heft to it, but it’s still an imitation.

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New this week—4/11/10

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

Usher featuring will.i.am—”OMG”
#14
Despite the seal of approval provided by will.i.am, this is the lamest Black Eyed Peas rip you could imagine, and as far as I can tell it’s all Usher’s fault. The stylish minimalism that makes the Peas’s records compelling is filled in with meaningless noise, and the lyrics make Usher seem even dumber than BEP haters imagine the genuine article to be. At his worst he sounds like a lounge singer doing a Black Eyed Peas tribute; on the rest he’s a one-time star desperately trying to catch up to a scene that’s passed him by. In that way, at least, you can say Raymond v. Raymond is as true to life as Usher claims it is.

Diddy – Dirty Money featuring T.I.—”Hello Good Morning”
#34
This works, especially when T.I. is on the mike, and it’s a far better Black Eyed Peas rip than “OMG”, but like all Diddy tracks its show-offy and full of itself. When Diddy flaunts his ego with production tricks and flashy arranging rather than cynical fade-out raps or having his female vocalists moan his praises, he could almost be the pop genius he thinks he is. There’s a long way between “almost” and the real thing, though, and it’s a gap I doubt he’ll ever cross.

Lady GaGa—”Alejandro”
#72
I found it difficult to understand all the fuss last week over M.I.A. calling GaGa a “great mimic”. It’s obviously true, and I would say it’s even more obvious that GaGa knows it, often plays up to it, and enjoys doing it. That’s certainly the case on this rollicking slice of camp, in which she borrows heavily from Madonna, the Pet Shop Boys, and cheesy Italian telenovellas and mixes them all together into her own twisted joke. For some reason this makes me think of Tennesse Williams’s Suddenly Last Summer. “Alejandro”, thank God, doesn’t end in cannibalism, but I wouldn’t put it past her.

Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars—”Billionaire”
#92
One thing you can say about economic collapse: it’s good for party music, and equally good for comedy. Not a week goes by that somebody doesn’t put another joke track on the chart, creating what might well turn out to be the most interesting trend of what’s shaping up to be a very interesting year. This is the best of the bunch so far, partly because it addresses personal economics head-on, with just enough implied reality to make the jokes sting, and partly because, thanks to Bruno Mars, it’s the most musically accomplished and easiest to listen to for itself. I wonder when he’ll get a record of his own.

Erykah Badu—”Window Seat”
#95
This one takes a while to grow on you, but if you give it a chance and ignore the controversy over the video, it will. Subtle as it is, in both its music and its emotions, it steers perilously close at times to easy-listening. It never goes that far, but I can understand why some people find the new album too laid back and sentimental. I don’t think it’s either, but it may be a little too self-satisfied. Time will tell. (The video, considering the message of the song itself, makes no sense whatsoever—it’s an attempt to shove a political/sociological message into a place where it doesn’t belong.)

Clay Walker—”She Won’t Be Lonely Long”
#99
The surprising thing about this record is how restrained and sympathetic it is. I can think of any number of male country singers who would take the title line for a crude joke, squeezing as many knowing winks and vocal nudges out of it as possible. Walker, though, never evinces anything but respect, concern, and regret, without once suggesting that he’s interested in taking up with the woman himself, and he turns the usual wild-girl-in-the-honky-tonk cliches on their head. The music is too generic to make this a great record, but it’s a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

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New this week—4/4/10

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Sean Kingston & Justin Bieber—”Eenie Meenie”
#30
This is more Kingston than it is Bieber, and just enough of both to render it meaningless. Peeling back the garishness that has decorated Kingston’s more recent singles only reveals how lacking they are in anything resembling a hook, and mixing in Bieber’s usual pablum provides the final push toward total mediocrity. Any charm Kingston may have possessed is gone; now he’s just another dancehall-pop hack. As for Bieber, he’s never been charming. Being charming requires a personality.

T-Pain—”Reverse Cowgirl”
#75
I can understand why people write T-Pain off, but more and more I’m beginning to think he’s some kind of genius. This isn’t his most insane record (that’s still “Chopped ‘n’ Skrewed”) but it may be his funniest, and it’s at a level of musical sophistication that jokesters like 3Oh!3 and LMFAO can only dream of. All its best jokes are musical rather than lyrical (he was beaten to most of his rodeo metaphors a long time ago, anyway), and without a single swear word it’s dirty as hell. Based on the title alone, I can’t imagine it will get much radio play, but it’s bound to be a ringtone favorite. Yee-hah!

Young Money—”Roger That”
#86
The best Young Money track so far, and the second best hip-hop comedy record of the week, and that’s not a put down. Nicki Minaj does a killer Lil Wayne impersonation, while Wayne himself spends a good deal of his time giggling. The guy in the middle (do I really need to waste my time looking up his name?) is at least tolerable. The beat is insane, the raps as dirty as they want to be, and if the whole isn’t a as great as its parts, at least it doesn’t waste them.

Jaron And The Long Road To Love—”Pray For You”
#87
From the first organ note you can see the joke coming, and though keeping the music country-lovesong straight is probably intended to be satirical, in reality it drags the humor down. It doesn’t help that Jaron didn’t bother to write a third verse, either. Jokes are supposed to build, not just repeat themselves.

Luke Bryan–”Rain Is A Good Thing”
#91
Because it leads to sex, of course. Doesn’t everything in uptempo good ol’ boy country? This is better than most, though; catchy as hell, and doesn’t throw in too many cliches. I could, however, do without the self-satisfied chortle; sounds way too calculated.

Justin Bieber—That Should Be Me”
#92
This awful record makes me wonder if Bieber isn’t, in reality, Usher’s revenge on all the fickle teenage fans who have turned to younger pastures over the last couple of years. But then, those are the fans who have put this record on the chart—it isn’t being promoted as a single, it’s just an album track that the Bieberfreaks (or maybe their mothers) have decided to give extra attention. Maybe I’m just being cynical—but not half as cynical as Usher.

Martina McBride—”Wrong Baby Wrong”
#95
This isn’t bad: nice Stones inspired riff at the beginning, and I like the idea of a mother’s advice song from the mother’s point of view. It gets too tame about halfway through, though, and it goes on too long. McBride should pay more attention to Eric Church or Luke Bryan: for a song like this, three minutes is all you need. The rest is just showing off.

Miranda Lambert—”The House That Built Me”
#98
I’m always wary of this sort of country sentimentality—when country singers talk about “finding” themselves, it almost always means a return to their smalltown, family roots, a confession of their sinful, straying ways, and a nostalgia that’s sure to turn into bathos, usually accompanied by a healthy dollop of strings and some whining steel guitar. But even taking those reservations into account, this is a perfect record. There are no strings or steel guitar to be found, and Lambert’s understated vocal drives home more real emotion than any amount of Nashville oversinging. It helps that the song is the best example of its kind you’ll ever hear: the two-part chorus is stunning in its impact, and if the verse about mama and papa building their house doesn’t bring you close to tears, nothing ever will. Lambert didn’t write this, but it proves that even when she’s not falling back on alt-country standbys (Patti Griffin, John Prine, etc.), she has an unerring ear for good material. Which means she’s going to be a star for a long, long time. Boy, do we need her.

Colbie Caillat—”I Never Told You”
#99
I’ve badmouthed Caillat a lot in the past, and this isn’t a great record, but it’s made me realize who and what she really is: the twenty-something, SoCal version of Taylor Swift. She’s not as lyrically inventive as Swift, too often she falls back on cliches, and despite the title of her first hit, she’s nowhere near as bubbly—but her point of view, her romantic sensibilities, and her sense of taste and (if I can use this term) musical decorum, are almost exactly the same (there’s a reason Swift performed with Stevie Nicks, after all). The main differences are of age and geography. While Swift optimistically negotiates the fresh hell of a Nashville high school with fairy tale visions of romance, Caillat faces the ages-old Southern California disconnect of the messiness of emotional and sexual reality while living in a physical paradise. Both seem almost untouched by the real world, when the truth is that both know it all too well, and are shaping their own version of the perfect escape. Swift is the greater artist of the two, but Caillat may very well surprise us somewhere down the line.

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New this week—3/28/10

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

Justin Bieber—“U Smile”
#27
Musically, this is the most pleasant thing Bieber has done since “One Less Lonely Girl”, but it’s still bland, and also a bit creepy. Bieber’s genuflection to his fan base is about as abject as can be, and the lack of emotional edge in his voice makes him sound more like a willing robot than a real live boy. For now, his tweener fans will remain steadfast, but sooner or later they’re going to want an idol of actual flesh and blood. If Bieber’s lucky, his handlers will eventually provide material that has some. If not, by this time next year we may have forgotten all about him.

T.I.—“I’m Back”
#44
I can understand T.I.’s desire to announce his freedom as loudly as possible, but this is over busy and confused, the bragging lost in a blare of baroque synths and vocal overkill. It’s impressive in its way, but it’s too much, and it gets wearing.

Spose—“I’m Awesome”
#54
Not the next Weird Al by a long shot. The lyrics are grade school level, and the only thing I find funny is the intentionally incompetent scratching—and even that feels forced and obvious.

Usher—“More”
#76
So intent on being on top of the trends that he renders himself unrecognizable, this is where Usher jumps the commercial shark. Combine this with his stint as a mentor on American Idol next week and you have the epitome of an imploding career. Good thing he’s got Justin Bieber as a back-up.

Disney’s Friends for Change (featuring Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato)—“Make a Wave”
#84
Since this sort of “I’m going to save the world by changing myself” rhetoric is Disney’s musical stock and trade, it makes sense that this would be less self-congratulatory and insipid than “We Are the World”. Only slightly, though. I’m also willing to bet that, unlike “We Are the World”, participation was not voluntary. Because nobody’s as self-congratulatory as the mouse.

The-Dream—“Love King”
#92
Though his talent is obvious, I’ve had my doubts about The-Dream’s (self-proclaimed) genius. This goes a long way toward dispelling them. “Love King” is so full of subtle, almost subliminal twists and turns in melody, rhythm, and harmony that every time I listen some new, wonderful touch reveals itself. The neatest trick, both artistically and commercially, comes at the end, when the volume for the last minute of the song drops by nearly half. It doesn’t fade, it just drops. What better way to get radio to play a five minute track than provide DJs with a full minute designed for them to talk over?

Maxwell—“Fistful of Tears”
#96
Maxwell’s material is so subtle that if you’re in the wrong mood, or unless, as on “Pretty Wings”, he hits everything just right, he has a tendency to fade into the background. Here, the line about nearly being driven insane trying to keep his girl from going crazy gets your attention, but the rest drifts a little too far into the ether. Maxwell’s musical and emotional obsessiveness is fascinating, but I’m not sure it’s enough to make him consistently compelling.

George Strait—“Gotta Get to You”
#100
It’s impossible not to admire Strait’s craftsmanship and taste—there’s not a single false step on this record—but as he ages each record seems to be another half-step toward muzak, and this one is a full step. With music this bland his self-assurance takes on a feeling of condescension, as if the success of his seductive moves is a forgone conclusion. Maybe it is, but being so obvious about it suggests that on some level he’s just as crude as any other good ol’ boy.

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New this week—3/14/10

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Justin Bieber—”Never Let You Go”
#21
The most irritating thing about Justin Bieber may be something over which he has no real control: all his records sound the same. He may have talent, but he either possesses such a narrow emotional range that his handlers don’t dare let him express himself, or they have such a narrow idea of what a pop record should be that they can’t take advantage of whatever talent Bieber does possess. The first is a possibility, but I lean toward the second explanation: this is such an obvious retread of Chris Brown’s “Forever” that you wonder if anyone in Bieber’s camp has a single original idea.

Jason DeRulo—”Ridin’ Solo”
#33
Did anybody involved in this record notice how irritating DeRulo’s voice is on the chorus? Did they think it would serve as a kind of hook? Or make up for the fact that nothing else about this record is even vaguely interesting? If so, they were wrong.

Usher featuring Nicki Minaj—”Lil Freak”
#43
Somehow I don’t think Stevie Wonder ever imagined anyone using part of “Livin’ for the City” as background music for an orgy, but I guess we should give Usher a break—he’s got to get over the grief of his divorce somehow.

Avril Lavigne—”Alice”
#71
I long ago resigned myself to the use of Alice in Wonderland as a Rorschach blot for anyone low on ideas who needs a little creative boost, but that only excuses Tim Burton. This is straight cash-in and a terrible record by any standard. The only notable thing about it is that it definitively marks the moment when Lavigne gave up on doing anything new and decided to copy those who have followed in her wake—in this case, Paramore. Even another soppy ballad would be better than this.

Kenny Chesney—”Ain’t Back Yet”
#73
If you define country as music based on the nostalgia of people in their thirties to mid-forties for the pop music of their early teen years, then this is a country record. But even by those standards it isn’t a good country record, just a loud one (with horns, to boot). Gossip hounds, however, will eat up the apparent reference to Renee Zellweger in the last verse.

Godsmack—”Cryin’ Like A Bitch!!”
#74
The exclamation points in the title tell you everything you need to know about this record. Think of them as sudden bursts of guitar and you can pretend you’ve already heard the song without the painful experience of actually listening to it.

Three 6 Mafia Vs Tiesto with Sean Kingston and Flo Rida—”Feel It”
#78
If the artist lineup didn’t tip you off to how desperate these guys are for another hit, the music sure would. Most egregious moment: when Flo Rida comes on, the beat switches to an approximation of “Low”. Even worse, that’s the only part of the record that makes any sense. The rest is a confused mess.

Danny Gokey—”My Best Days Are Ahead of Me”
#78
I never saw Gokey on American Idol, but it’s easy to understand why he was voted off—the only thing thinner than his voice is his material.

La Roux—”Bulletproof”
#92
With all the Eurodisco influence on the charts it’s nice to see the real thing making some headway. Already a number one in the UK, though I doubt it will make it as far here—it’s not brash and straightforward enough for American tastes. I find it a trifle thin and stiff myself, but it’s still better than about 85% of anything else on the charts.

Chris Young—”The Man I Want to Be”
#98
As shameless as self-pitying country gets, this is essentially the male version of Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take the Wheel”, only worse, because you can’t help suspecting that all Young really wants is his woman back. What he should really be praying for is better material.

Steel Magnolia—”Keep On Lovin’ You”
#99
Because Lady Antebellum just isn’t enough Sugarland for the country/pop market.

Eric Church—”Hell On the Heart”
#100
Church is the kind of guy who believes old-fashioned things like simple, catchy melodies, short songs (this one clocks in at 2:45, shorter than both his previous singles, only one of which is over three minutes), and strict stereo separation. He also gets better with each record. But he isn’t that good yet. Cliches keep popping up in his lyrics, and thematically there’s nothing that separates him from a few thousand other good ol’ boys. He also has a tendency to sprinkle his interviews with references to how much better he is than everybody else. I like this record, and I hope he gets better, but I’m not holding my breath.

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New this week—2/28/10

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Christopher Wilde
“Hero”, #57
“StarStruck” #77
“Something About the Sunshine” (with Anna Margaret), #81
Christopher Wilde, in case you’re not a connoiseur of the Disney Channel, is the name of the fictional teen heart-throb in Disney’s latest made-for-TV tweener extravaganza, StarStruck. The actor who does the singing here is Sterling Knight, who the folks at Disney are no doubt hoping will become a real heart-throb. As Disney soundtracks go, these three songs are above average, less cutesy than the Hannah Montana or High School Musical numbers, without all the cloying lyrical uplift. They’re also more mature. “StarStruck” includes a line about girls who want to take Christopher out on a date and make him holler, which in the Disney universe is as close as you can get to an NC-17 rating. Disney is obviously beginning to realize that the audience for its teen fantasies is older than it was when High School Musical debuted four years ago. Those tweeners are into their mid- to late-teens now, and they want a little romance, and even a suggestion of sex, with their song and dance. But even though these are more adult than the standard Disney fare, they’re also not up to the best of the non-soundtrack material that Disney artists like Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Aly & AJ have put out the last couple of years. “Starstruck” moves along nicely, but it has nothing new to say about fame (Lady GaGa would seem to have a lock on that theme at the moment), and though I like the bouncy/stretchy sound effects on “Something About the Sunshine”, it’s obvious they’re there to hide its other weaknesses. So I’ll give Disney an A for effort and for upping their game, but only a B for the results.

k.d. lang—”Hallelujah (Vancouver Winter 2010 Version)”
#61
A few weeks ago I was complaining about Justin Timberlake’s attempt to recontextualize this song after the earthquake in Haiti. But this, performed by Lang at the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics (and what a celebratory piece of work it is!) is even worse. Verse by verse, Lang drains every ounce of meaning out of the song, and then bathes the final chorus in one of the most banal string arrangements I’ve ever heard. Even at the peak of her popularity I thought Lang was overrated, but I never thought she’d get as bad this.

DJ Khaled featuring T-Pain, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg & Rick Ross—”All I Do Is Win”
#64
The frustrating thing about DJ Khaled (aside from his fuzzy, overloaded, melodramatic beats) is that he’s a one-idea man. That doesn’t need to be a detriment—a lot of DJs have made great records with less than an idea—but Khaled’s depends entirely on the guests he finagles into rapping on his productions. The result is an often irritating variation in quality, not just from record to record, but within each record itself. In this case, he gets a mediocre but passable hook from T-Pain, a slightly above-average rap from Ludacris, and an unintelligible, below-average rap from Rick Ross. Then, just as you’re getting ready for the wind-down of another tepid Khaled production, Snoop Dogg steps up to the mike, and in four lines blows a hole in the middle of the record. I’m not familiar enough with Snoop’s stuff to know whether he’s used these lines before—all I know is they’re better than anything else I’ve heard Snoop come up with, and just about any other rapper I can think of, as well. It’s not just a matter of the shock of Snoop’s laid-back style compared to the others’, either, because every time I listen to this record that verse seems even more powerful, more portentous, more menacing. The only thing I can compare it to is Lil Wayne’s rap on Khaled’s “We’re Takin’ Over” a couple of years ago. Exactly why Khaled’s productions should be so inspirational to these guys I have no idea. Maybe there’s more to those beats than I’m picking up on.

Usher—”There Goes My Baby”
#71
The best thing Usher has done in years (he appears to have been listening to a lot of Ne-Yo and Maxwell), but still far short of whatever mark he’s aiming for. Whoever or whatever made him decide to cut short the middle-eight, which would have brought the song to a higher level, should be booted out of his entourage, or his head, as quickly as possible.

3Oh!3 featuring Neon Hitch—”Follow Me Down”
#89
You knew once they stopped being offensive they’d be boring, right?

Mariah Carey featuring Nicki Minaj—”Up Out My Face”
#100
Over the last few years Carey has been making the best music of her career (not a great leap, I know)—just in time for her audience to dry up and everyone under the age of 25 to start ignoring her. Judging by this record, which is only slightly above average but which she obviously had a great time making, and by reports of her recent concert appearances, she doesn’t really care. Good for her. That’s the sort of attitude that could make her even better.

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New this week—12/27/09

Saturday, December 26th, 2009

Eminem
“Hell Breaks Loose” (featuring Dr. Dre), #29
“Elevator”, #67
There’s no doubt that these are sharper and more to the point than the tracks on the original version of Relapse—less fussy and more energetic, as well (even Dre sounds fully focused for a change). So even though they’re nothing new in and of themselves, they are promising. Maybe Slim Shady has some life in him yet. Whether or not that’s a a good thing at this stage—or at Eminem’s age—is open to question.

Alicia Keys—”Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down”
#55
The hook is still there, but the verses sound like Keys did a Google search for big city cliches—”concrete jungle”, “melting pot”, women working the streets, etc.—and didn’t bother to come up with a single idea of her own. As for her musical abilities, she’s become one the most irritating keyboard players I’ve ever heard—all meaningless fills and runs, quaranteed to trivialize the rare instances she actually has something to say.

Adam Lambert—”Whataya Want From Me”
#72
As much as I respect and appreciate the way Lambert has faced down his conservative critics, I still find myself stopping short when it comes to his music. The best song on his album is a Lady Gaga reject, and on this P!nk reject he achieves nothing except a decent, mediocre imitation of the original owner. If he’s going to keep fighting for the right to be himself, isn’t it time he actually put himself on record?

Robin Thicke—”Sex Therapy”
#79
Thicke tries hard, and his grooves are sexy and intelligent, an achievement both impressive and rare. But then he gets to the chorus, and I’m sorry, but nobody, nobody in the world, not even the resurrection of Marvin Gaye himself, could convince me that Lesley Gore, or anything that Lesley Gore has ever touched, is sexy. Once Thicke puts his warm and tender hands on “It’s My Party”, the sex therapy ends, the session is over, and all that remains is camp. Maybe for those younger than me, who are less familiar with the original, the effect isn’t as extreme, but as far as I’m concerned there’s no way to take this record seriously after the chorus, and no amount of horny falsetto will ever convice me otherwise.

Usher featuring Plies—”Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home)”
#94
I had no idea Usher felt he had sunk so low that he had to resort to pairing up with The Worst Rapper In the World®, but here they are all the same. The image created by the chorus, of Usher’s lover with her butt in the air murmuring the title phrase, is bad enough, but then Plies steps in, and it turns out that his idea of eroticism is pouring Kool-Aid on a woman’s back and kissing it off before any of it spills. I just hope “Kool-Aid” isn’t code for something even more disgusting.

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New this week—11/8/09

Sunday, November 8th, 2009

Lady GaGa—”Bad Romance”
#9
Though I still have a lot of doubts about Lady GaGa, there’s no arguing with a chunk of nonsense as entertaining as this. She makes up for a dearth of hooks on her previous singles by putting five or six here, most of them stolen, the whole driven by constant shifts in vocal timbre that serve as hooks of their own. Better yet, the Madonna influence is now aural as well as conceptual. I don’t buy her love-as-disease schtick, but her flirtation with decadence sounds more convincing, and less misogynistic, than it did before. She might just be as smart as she says she is.

Taylor Swift
“Jump Then Fall”, #10
“Untouchable”, #19
“The Other Side of the Door”, #23
“Superstar”, #26
“Come In With the Rain”, #30
It’s a sign of Swift’s growing confidence and skill that her leftovers, though none are as good as the best cuts on the original Fearless, are all of above-average quality. It’s also good to see her willingness to trim back the arrangements; for the most part these are simpler, less involved, and less cluttered than the album tracks. Her gift for hooks and for melody lines that perfectly mirror the onrush of emotional energy that typifies adolescent romance remains remarkable, and if she sometimes repeats herself (no doubt some of these were left off Fearless originally because they were superseded by better realizations of the same basic idea), she has a right—she’s perfected a vision of teenage romantic yearning that is both personal and universal, and no one could blame her for running with it. And for those who doubt the taste of the mass audience, it’s worth noting that these are charting roughly in order of quality. I would rate “The Other Side of the Door” higher than “Untouchable”, but otherwise it looks like her fans got it exactly right.

50 Cent featuring Ne-Yo—”Baby By Me”
#31
Great Ne-Yo hook, above-average beats, and 50 Cent wisely keeps his softcore porn flow in line with the music and never forces his hand. So, overall, not bad. He should be careful what he says, though. How long before some deranged fan comes calling, claiming that 50 Cent knocked her up and demanding the million bucks he promised her?

Justin Bieber—”Love Me”
#37
This is brainless fluff, even more brainless than the Flo Rida and Sean Kingston tracks it’s patterned on. I still appreciate the fact that Bieber is a fifteen year-old who actually sounds like a fifteen year-old, but this copycat nonsense isn’t going to get him anywhere.

Carrie Underwood—”Undo It”
#87
Underwood likes to claim that she’s pushing the envelope in country pop, and if plugging hip-hop styled vocals over bouncy Neil Young derived rhythms with lyrics that roughly echo Lucinda Williams is pushing the envelope, I suppose she’s right. It’s a lot more pop than country, though, and it would be a lot better if it wasn’t so shrill. Doesn’t anyone in Nashville know how to produce records anymore?

Shinedown—”If You Only Knew”
#92
This has a nice chorus, but like all bands of this ilk, they overplay and overemphasize and kill any grace or lyricism their songs might contain. They particularly like to do this when they realize they’ve written a nice chorus, just to show how proud of themselves they are.

Gucci Mane featuring Usher—”Spotlight”
#93
Usher’s hook is a throwaway, and, beside letting us know that he favors ladies who don’t wear panties, Gucci Mane has nothing to say. It must be a relief to know they can still make the charts on name recognition.

Omarion featuring Gucci Mane—I Get It In
#99
Former loverboy Omarion now has a voice as rough as Gucci Mane’s (what has he been doing with himself, you wonder), and apparently a mind to match. Gucci himself, meanwhile, would like to reiterate that he favors ladies who don’t wear panties. Are you listening, ladies? He’s only going to tell you twice.

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New this week

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

John Mayer—”Who Says”
#17
I’ve always thought of Mayer as a likeable but pretentious boob, a well-meaning, highly skilled guy who let his good taste and sense of importance get in the way of his talent. Here, however, he leans back, lights up, channels the Paul Simon of Paul Simon—even stealing a bit of melody from the master—and makes his simple case for legalization without once overplaying his hand or being anything but charming. Even his caddishness is charming, something he’s never managed—at least with me—before. If he wasn’t such a goof he’d be dangerous.

Chamillionaire—”Good Morning”
#40
Why do rappers think people hate them for being successful? Nobody cares if you’re successful, what they care about is whether or not success is going to turn you into the sort of guy who takes over two years to produce a record that turns out to be a lazy, self-satisfied knock at the people who you think are hating on you, when in reality they’ve barely noted your existence. The only smart thing about this record is that, by using the Tom Petty sample, Chamillionaire doesn’t need to worry about Weird Al turning this into a lame parody of Southern California excess—he’s already beaten him to it.

Glee Cast
“Keep Holding On”, #56
“No Air”, 65
This joke gets thinner every week. Bad songs badly sung.

Wonder Girls—”Nobody”
#76
I like the girl group feel of this, especially the high harmonies after the chorus, but it isn’t much of a song, and there’s not much to wonder at in the voices, either. The rap at the end is a terrible mistake; it sounds like it was pasted in from an entirely different song.

Carrie Underwood—”Mama’s Song”
#77
The only thing interesting about this country hokum is how little country there is in it, and how much r&b influence is floating around, especially in the strings, which echo Gene Page’s arrangements, and the background vocals. Underwood even tries to sound soulful once in a while, in an American Idolish sort of way.

Five For Fighting—Chances”
#83
Ah, those sincere young American males—can’t somebody make them shut up?

30 Seconds To Mars—”Kings and Queens”
#88
“The age of man is over”, they bellow, and they may be right (though I doubt it). Overwrought U2 imitators, however, go on forever.

Usher—”Papers”
#92
Far better than anything off his previous album, which suggests that Usher needs a little drama in his life to make decent records. Still not as good as the best stuff from Confessions, though, and all the drama in the world will probably never get great music out of him again.

New Boyz featuring Ray J—”Tie Me Down”
#97
The lyrics are jerky enough (saying you can’t be tied down because you’re only seventeen is funny, perfectly legitimate, and caddish all at the same time), but the music is generic and dull, and sounds more like a lame attempt to be Lil Wayne than anything new. The album is almost the definition of hit plus filler, but there’s far better stuff on it than this, which is some corporate stooge’s idea of the kind of music that will make them stars. Think about what happened to Lil Mama, New Boyz, and beware.

Miranda Lambert—”White Liar”
#98
Like all the best tracks on Revolution (and there are a lot of them), this is disarmingly simple on the surface, but packed with subtleties and with a depth that takes time to appreciate. Lambert no longer burns her cheating lover’s houses down or goes after them with a shotgun (though she does shoot one on the album). Instead she turns the tables on him and gets her revenge in a more practical and insidious way, by implying that she’s been cheating on him as well. The question is whether she’s telling him the truth now, or just getting back at him by making him think she’s cheating, and Lambert and her band leave the question drifting on the air, turning ambiguity and doubt into their own form of sweet revenge.

Kings of Leon—”Notions”
#99
Since I can only understand two or three words in the lyric, and the music does nothing to encourage me to look them up, I have no idea what notions are considered, or implied, or perhaps even acted on in this song. The music, though catchy in parts, is as slurred, mushy, and indistinct as the singing, which suggests that the Followill brothers not only don’t have much to say, but don’t understand what they do. Unfortunately, that’s probably a large part of their appeal.

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New this week

Sunday, October 18th, 2009

Britney Spears—”3″
#1
There’s no doubt now that Spears is back in full control of her career, and the playful tease of this record even suggests that she’s enjoying herself again. But compared to songs like “Gimme More” or “Piece of Me”, both released when her life seemed to be in freefall, this is remarkably tame, and the echoes of their sound here suggests a reliance on formula. The truth is she’s working ground that others—Lady Gaga, especially—have already laid claim to with more sense of daring and style than Spears is now willing, or capable, of putting out. She can still titillate her old fans, obviously, and there are still enough of them to debut this at number one, but you have to wonder how long she can work this particular plot and make it pay before she, or her fans, get bored with it.

Justin Bieber—”One Less Lonely Girl”
#16
I like the feel of this, which is surprisingly reminiscent of early Michael Jackson, but the song doesn’t go anywhere on it’s own, and Bieber lacks the chops to move it anyplace special. Still, this is a lot better than his first single, and makes me wonder if Bieber has more talent (or at least better handlers) than I first gave him credit for.

Glee Cast
“It’s My Life/Confessions Part II”, #30
“Halo/Walking On Sunshine”, #40
For the first time you can actually hear the joke, not only through the silliness of the mash-ups themselves, but in the performance—that last high note on “Halo” could kill small animals. The Bon Jovi/Usher mix is so seamless it reveals the essential meaninglessness of both (which is more to Usher’s detriment than Bon Jovi’s—at this point who expects a Bon Jovi song to mean anything?). The Beyonce/Katrina and the Waves mix is a little rougher, but speeding up “Halo” is an improvement over the original (or it would be if the performance were better), since it removes all the bombastic nonsense Ryan Tedder is so fond of and cuts down on the near-religious awe Beyonce’s original wallowed in. Neither of these is worth listening to more than twice, mind you, but they’re still a big improvement over what came before.

Chris Brown featuring Lil Wayne and Swizz Beats—”I Can Transform Ya”
#52
This may seem like an odd choice for a comeback single, but it’s probably a smart move commercially for Brown to toughen up his sound—no one at this moment in time is going to buy him as a romantic balladeer or pop crooner, so a strong dance record makes sense. Swizz Beats comes up with a distinctive sound for the record, too, machine-like but swinging at the same time. Trouble is, Brown’s voice isn’t really suited for this type of material (I’m not sure his voice is suited for any kind of material, actually), and Lil Wayne, who has been omnipresent for three years now, is starting to sound tired and bored, if not quite boring.

T.I.—”Hell of a Life”
#54
Surprisingly upbeat, and even funny in spots, with an arrangement that, with it’s keyboard filigree and horns, literally approaches the baroque. As wrong-headed as he obviously sometimes is, it’s hard not to like T.I., even on records as overdone as this. Can you really blame a guy who’s heading off for jail for pulling out all the stops?

OneRepublic—”All the Right Moves”
#58
Having cornered the power ballad market, Ryan Tedder and his cohorts now set their sights on Coldplay via this pseudo-revolutionary blather. Written before they were stinking rich, I assume. I like the drum sound, though.

Ke$ha—”TiK ToK”
#79
The latest in what is now an undeniable trend: mindless party records about getting blotto (hey, times are hard out there). This is Lady Gaga without the artistic pretension, or 3Oh!3 without the sexism, or Katy Perry without the burlesque, or Cobra Starship without the male perspective or…well, you name ‘em. She seems to be more in control than most. She also sounds like she’s having a lot of fun. But does she really want all her men to look like Mick Jagger? In which decade would you be talking about, sweetie?

Creed—”Rain”
#91
Just to prove how sensitive they are they bring out the acoustic guitars, slow the tempo, and shelve the dramatic shifts in rhythm and dynamics. They still persist in fantasizing about destroying the world, though, a catastrophe which only they, like Noah, would survive. This is the problem with religious rock ‘n’ roll: it emphasizes the worst apocalyptic instincts of both.

Brooks & Dunn featuring Billy Gibbons—”Honky Tonk Stomp”
#97
To celebrate their upcoming professional divorce, B&D bring in a guy from ZZ Top to croak out the title hook and to add some very loud, very non-country guitar behind their good-old boy, wild man boasting. Why do I have a feeling I’m not going to miss them very much?

LMFAO featuring Lil John—”Shots”
#98
The butt end, so to speak, of the “let’s all get wasted” wedge that has forced itself into pop culture the last year or so. Like the Lil John of crunk legend, this is so blatant and so honest in it’s expression of drunken lust that it’s almost charming. Well, until you get to this, that is: “The ladies love us/when we pour shots/They need an excuse/to suck our cocks.” FYI, these guys, who are signed to will.i.am’s label, now have three records in the Hot 100. Is everybody in the music business drunk?

Birdman featuring Drake & Lil Wayne—”Money To Blow”
#100
“We goin be alright if we put Drake on every hook,” says Lil Wayne. Yeah, but first you’ve got to have a hook.

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